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(New Zealand Herald)   Patient declares "My rectum is full of eels"; prompts doctor's nipples to explode with delight   (nzherald.co.nz) divider line 104
    More: Obvious, prompt corner  
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19646 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Sep 2012 at 6:29 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-23 10:25:34 PM  
The goat in my shorts is getting a kick...
 
2012-09-23 11:40:17 PM  
oh
ew
ow
 
2012-09-23 11:40:47 PM  
Damn near killed em.
 
2012-09-23 11:44:41 PM  
Okay, what's worse? An eel up your bum or one in your penis? From September, 2011.
 
2012-09-23 11:45:57 PM  
Headline of the year!
 
2012-09-23 11:47:53 PM  
I had to actually Google the phrase 'my nipples explode with delight' because I knew I had heard it before but I couldn't figure out where. I really have to hope I never get arrested and have to explain my browser history.
 
2012-09-23 11:52:39 PM  
Something about that site killed Chrome dead for me.
 
2012-09-23 11:54:19 PM  
This isn't Penthouse Forum subby.
 
2012-09-23 11:56:02 PM  
It was a million to one shot, doc, million to one
 
2012-09-23 11:57:36 PM  
Bravo on the headline, subby.

media.scout.com
 
2012-09-24 12:02:31 AM  
Tonight we have the tale of Sylvanus
Who had an eel lodged in his anus
With no explanation,
For this situation,
Save the knowledge of just what true pain is.
 
2012-09-24 12:12:17 AM  
The last paragraph is the best. Fun at the news factory!
 
2012-09-24 12:27:29 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: Okay, what's worse? An eel up your bum or one in your penis? From September, 2011.


Look, when it comes to things "going in" the answer for what is worse is always, ALWAYS going to be the thing going in the penis.
 
2012-09-24 12:51:59 AM  
How's that old timey swimmin' hole working out for you?

The eel was also discharged.
 
2012-09-24 12:53:36 AM  

Lsherm: Bathia_Mapes: Okay, what's worse? An eel up your bum or one in your penis? From September, 2011.

Look, when it comes to things "going in" the answer for what is worse is always, ALWAYS going to be the thing going in the penis.


I remember reading about some heinous water dwelling parasite that can crawl up the penis and urethra and expand causing excruciating pain.

Come on in, the water's fine.
 
2012-09-24 01:22:25 AM  
Eels are secretive, nocturnal and prefer habitats with plenty of cover. They hunt by smell rather than sight.

Oh COME ON! How did you type that with a straight face?
 
2012-09-24 01:25:57 AM  

AbbeySomeone: Lsherm: Bathia_Mapes: Okay, what's worse? An eel up your bum or one in your penis? From September, 2011.

Look, when it comes to things "going in" the answer for what is worse is always, ALWAYS going to be the thing going in the penis.

I remember reading about some heinous water dwelling parasite that can crawl up the penis and urethra and expand causing excruciating pain.

Come on in, the water's fine.


Ah yes, the Candiru.
 
2012-09-24 01:51:01 AM  

GAT_00: I had to actually Google the phrase 'my nipples explode with delight' because I knew I had heard it before but I couldn't figure out where. I really have to hope I never get arrested and have to explain my browser history.


I'm fairly certain "WHARRRRGARBL! REPUBLICANS ARE SCARY TO ME AND MUST DIE" in your browser history will get you in more trouble. You'll be okay.
 
2012-09-24 03:45:18 AM  
Rectum? Mentat: Damn near kieelled em.

/close
 
2012-09-24 04:15:09 AM  

Gwendolyn: Eels are secretive, nocturnal and prefer habitats with plenty of cover. They hunt by smell rather than sight.

Oh COME ON! How did you type that with a straight face?


That's... a moray!
 
2012-09-24 04:15:21 AM  
One in a million shot, doc. One in a million.
 
2012-09-24 04:19:29 AM  

DrBenway: Gwendolyn: Eels are secretive, nocturnal and prefer habitats with plenty of cover. They hunt by smell rather than sight.

Oh COME ON! How did you type that with a straight face?

That's... a moray!


♪♫♬When the eel in your bum, wiggles until you cum that's a moray
When it feels really super deep inside your pooper that's a moray ♪♫♬
 
2012-09-24 06:36:14 AM  
www.bbc.co.uk

knows a little something about that
 
2012-09-24 06:39:18 AM  
Is this a follow-up?

Much less terrifying than the last eel-in-rectum story.
 
2012-09-24 06:40:27 AM  
How fast was the hovercraft traveling when it rear ended that guy?
 
2012-09-24 06:42:25 AM  
The eel hunts by scent so it definitely thought something was inside the man's ass that was worth eating. That, or the eel was an unwilling participant in this man's sexual activities.
 
2012-09-24 06:53:42 AM  
GAT_00:
I really have to hope I never get arrested and have to explain my browser history.

Oh that goes for all of us... In my case the cops would say "Mister, you're a deviated prevert... with the attention span of a ferret. Seriously, how many god damn lolcats does one man need to see?"
 
2012-09-24 06:58:12 AM  
How?
 
2012-09-24 07:02:21 AM  
www.hotelchatter.com

Finds this story relative to his interests.
 
2012-09-24 07:04:36 AM  
I could link you to some videos.....but I won't.
 
2012-09-24 07:06:32 AM  
The patient must be a Harry Potter fan...

Doctor: How did this eel get up your butt?

Patient: Slytherin!
 
2012-09-24 07:19:40 AM  
Appalachian Emergency Room fan I guess...
 
2012-09-24 07:21:49 AM  
Mincer: knows a little something about that

Excellent!

/leaving surprisingly satisfied
 
2012-09-24 07:22:35 AM  
If you feel the need to have something wiggly in your ass, fella, there's probably plenty of gay guys out there willing to oblige.

Ya freak.
 
2012-09-24 07:29:01 AM  
This story seems a little fishy to me.
 
2012-09-24 07:38:19 AM  

GreenSun: The eel hunts by scent so it definitely thought something was inside the man's ass that was worth eating.


southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com

Escaped?

/obscure?
 
2012-09-24 07:40:39 AM  
Ichth.
 
2012-09-24 07:41:40 AM  
i89.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-24 07:43:12 AM  
I know the feeling. I get it after eating at Taco Bell.

/ doesn't eat at Taco Bell
 
2012-09-24 07:46:22 AM  
Also....

Armageddon !!
 
2012-09-24 07:46:43 AM  

Nick Nostril: I know the feeling. I get it after eating at Taco Bell.

/ doesn't eat at Taco Bell


You are really gonna *HATE* the future, then.
 
2012-09-24 07:48:35 AM  
csb....
A long time ago, the ship I was on made liberty in Amsterdam. Where you can get a real drink in a theater.
One guy from our division went into a theater that showed adult movies and served beer.
As he found a non-sticky place on the bleachers, he drank his beer, and watched with interest the events on the screen.
We ran into him on the street, not looking the best.
When pressed, he finally fessed up to what happened.
Watching normal clips of adult movies he thought how cool it was - beer and adult movies together - nothing like it in the states!
Then one scene came on. (Now switch to deep southern accent, with a tone of naivety)
There were two girls, naked, on the screen, making out with each other.
All of a sudden, one picks up what looks like an eel.
She took the eel, and started rubbing it all over the other girl.
Somehow, she ends up inserting it in the other, in her backside.
There was a nice closeup of the 'tail' wiggling out, as if the girl had a tail herself.
The girl with the eel then squats, and below her is a frying pan.
She 'gave birth' to the eel directly into the frying pan, where the two began cooking the eel - and there were 'extra things' in the pan that were being cooked as well.
When the plates and silverware came out, he left. That's when we found him - still trying to understand what just happened.

/This was years before Two Girls One Cup
// Maybe Two Girls One Eel?
/// end csb>
 
2012-09-24 07:48:58 AM  

gerbilpox: GreenSun: The eel hunts by scent so it definitely thought something was inside the man's ass that was worth eating.

[southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com image 300x225]

Escaped?

/obscure?


i hate "obscure?"

its basically saying "im just so smart and hipstery and know so many awesome things that youve never heard of, ill caveat myself by saying "obscure" because there's no waaaaaay youve heard of this. oh jee arent i the dickens?"
 
2012-09-24 07:51:57 AM  
I sure hope the doc gave him Novocaine for the hole.
 
2012-09-24 07:55:17 AM  

johnnygew: csb....
A long time ago, the ship I was on made liberty in Amsterdam. Where you can get a real drink in a theater.
One guy from our division went into a theater that showed adult movies and served beer.
As he found a non-sticky place on the bleachers, he drank his beer, and watched with interest the events on the screen.
We ran into him on the street, not looking the best.
When pressed, he finally fessed up to what happened.
Watching normal clips of adult movies he thought how cool it was - beer and adult movies together - nothing like it in the states!
Then one scene came on. (Now switch to deep southern accent, with a tone of naivety)
There were two girls, naked, on the screen, making out with each other.
All of a sudden, one picks up what looks like an eel.
She took the eel, and started rubbing it all over the other girl.
Somehow, she ends up inserting it in the other, in her backside.
There was a nice closeup of the 'tail' wiggling out, as if the girl had a tail herself.
The girl with the eel then squats, and below her is a frying pan.
She 'gave birth' to the eel directly into the frying pan, where the two began cooking the eel - and there were 'extra things' in the pan that were being cooked as well.
When the plates and silverware came out, he left. That's when we found him - still trying to understand what just happened.

/This was years before Two Girls One Cup
// Maybe Two Girls One Eel?
/// end csb>


data.whicdn.com
 
2012-09-24 07:56:29 AM  

Father_Jack: gerbilpox: GreenSun: The eel hunts by scent so it definitely thought something was inside the man's ass that was worth eating.

[southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com image 300x225]

Escaped?

/obscure?

i hate "obscure?"

its basically saying "im just so smart and hipstery and know so many awesome things that youve never heard of, ill caveat myself by saying "obscure" because there's no waaaaaay youve heard of this. oh jee arent i the dickens?"


That time of the month?
 
2012-09-24 08:01:01 AM  

Father_Jack: gerbilpox: GreenSun: The eel hunts by scent so it definitely thought something was inside the man's ass that was worth eating.

[southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com image 300x225]

Escaped?

/obscure?

i hate "obscure?"

its basically saying "im just so smart and hipstery and know so many awesome things that youve never heard of, ill caveat myself by saying "obscure" because there's no waaaaaay youve heard of this. oh jee arent i the dickens?"


Geez, did an eel crawl up your ass or something?
 
2012-09-24 08:02:25 AM  
The last part of the article explains all: "Eels are secretive, nocturnal and prefer habitats with plenty of cover. They hunt by smell rather than sight."

Damned fine prose work there. Unfortunately, journalistic standards were not upheld. Did the eel survive? Inquiring minds want to know.
 
2012-09-24 08:04:24 AM  

Father_Jack: gerbilpox: GreenSun: The eel hunts by scent so it definitely thought something was inside the man's ass that was worth eating.

[southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com image 300x225]

Escaped?

/obscure?

i hate "obscure?"

its basically saying "im just so smart and hipstery and know so many awesome things that youve never heard of, ill caveat myself by saying "obscure" because there's no waaaaaay youve heard of this. oh jee arent i the dickens?"


/obtuse?
 
2012-09-24 08:05:10 AM  

Father_Jack: gerbilpox: GreenSun: The eel hunts by scent so it definitely thought something was inside the man's ass that was worth eating.

[southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com image 300x225]

Escaped?

/obscure?

i hate "obscure?"

its basically saying "im just so smart and hipstery and know so many awesome things that youve never heard of, ill caveat myself by saying "obscure" because there's no waaaaaay youve heard of this. oh jee arent i the dickens?"


You have bees flying around your rectum. You need a bad operation.

/esoteric
 
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