If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Seattle Times)   The greatest job a parent can do is teaching a child how to: A) Talk B) Cook C) Swim   (seattletimes.com) divider line 35
    More: Interesting, parents, Torah  
•       •       •

5953 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Sep 2012 at 5:24 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-09-23 02:53:08 AM  
D. All of the above
 
2012-09-23 05:31:44 AM  
I am an amazing parent, and my son is awesome. Plus, here's some metaphor about swimming.
 
2012-09-23 05:32:18 AM  
A kid doesn't need to be taught how to talk, kids are literally linguistic geniuses for the first few years of life and pick it up automatically from people talking around him.

And from the other two cooking is more important, as it is probably going to be used every day, while swimming is mostly a voluntary activity that you don't have to partake in. The rare instances you do need to swim though, you'll be certainly be certainly glad you have that ability though.
 
2012-09-23 05:53:20 AM  
C) Masturbate with only a squeegee, palm tree oil, and a picture of Roseanne Barr and Rosie O'Donnell is a lesbian lovelock.
 
2012-09-23 05:55:45 AM  
D) be successful in life.

This includes everything from having the skills to obtain a career and suceed at it, to being able to use a broom.
 
2012-09-23 06:55:11 AM  
Why bother with all that when they can just hover over them for the rest of their lives.
 
2012-09-23 06:59:03 AM  

Gwyrddu: A kid doesn't need to be taught how to talk, kids are literally linguistic geniuses for the first few years of life and pick it up automatically from people talking around him.

And from the other two cooking is more important, as it is probably going to be used every day, while swimming is mostly a voluntary activity that you don't have to partake in. The rare instances you do need to swim though, you'll be certainly be certainly glad you have that ability though.


You forgot "/ didn't RTFA"
 
2012-09-23 07:00:58 AM  
Sorry, can't read articles when they needlessly use "quotation" marks in the title. Too bad, I'd have liked to have known what it said...
 
2012-09-23 07:10:09 AM  
I go with all of the above... and a whole lot more.
 
2012-09-23 07:12:29 AM  
If it's a male child, A and C, maybe a little B to get by. If it's female child, only B
 
2012-09-23 07:46:15 AM  
This is true, if only because learning to swim as an adult sounds difficult. Our one-year old has already been in the pool; she's no Nevermind baby but she's not afraid of the water which is a start. Grow up not knowing how to swim, and you'd be nuts to NOT be afraid of the water.
 
2012-09-23 07:46:47 AM  
Oh come on! No one else thinks it's dusty in here?!

/heartless bastards
 
2012-09-23 08:15:20 AM  
I'm gonna go with E) respect others and not be an asshat
 
2012-09-23 08:18:23 AM  
F) Drive a manual transmission vehicle
 
2012-09-23 08:25:11 AM  
Absolutely swimming. It's one of the few activities that are mandatory for my kids - they will take swimming classes all the way through advanced lifesaving. They have no say in the matter.

But then again I live in the fingerlakes. Much of life takes place on the water and everyone boats. Our family kayaks. And we summer on the ocean.

Going out with friends in the warm months often involves water activities, and they're not going without adult supervision unless I know that not only can they get themselves out of trouble, but someone else as well.
 
2012-09-23 08:33:41 AM  
D) Repair a bike

E) Build a computer

F) Hold North and South America by heavily defending North Africa, Greenland, and Alaska before launching an attack into a weakend Europe.

G) Cook breakfast

H) Compare philosophies

I) Understand history

J) Construct a scientific experiment

K) Budget time

L) Carve a pumpkin

M) Draw a flower

N) all of the above
 
2012-09-23 08:35:46 AM  

namegoeshere: Absolutely swimming. It's one of the few activities that are mandatory for my kids - they will take swimming classes all the way through advanced lifesaving. They have no say in the matter.

But then again I live in the fingerlakes. Much of life takes place on the water and everyone boats. Our family kayaks. And we summer on the ocean.

Going out with friends in the warm months often involves water activities, and they're not going without adult supervision unless I know that not only can they get themselves out of trouble, but someone else as well.


THIS! OMG, THIS!

The most important thing to teach your child is how to act in the water.
 
2012-09-23 08:51:32 AM  
"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

Always liked that one.
 
2012-09-23 09:04:59 AM  
Yeah, pretty much tuned out after the first 3 sentences mentioned rabbis and the Torah.
 
2012-09-23 10:07:40 AM  
Wait...I get it...it was NOT really about swimming (seriously).

So was there a pool at the kid's dorm?
 
2012-09-23 10:13:59 AM  
"Jacob's head would pop through the surface, flashing that fantastic smile from behind the rivulets of water coursing over his face."

I gave up after this sentence. 100% chance this guy is a douchebag helicopter parent.
 
2012-09-23 10:21:35 AM  

Bob The Nob: You forgot "/ didn't RTFA"


I did, I just chose to take the question literally instead of metaphorically like the article did.
 
2012-09-23 11:31:09 AM  
Kids don't need to be taught how to swim. They're mammals and already know how to swim by nature. They need to be "untaught" all the crap they pick up as sentient beings that sort of overrides that natural ability. They need to go through "drown proofing" classes or whatever they call it these days. They get caught in the water unexpectedly and they try to swim out, they may end up drowning anyways as they exhaust themselves.
 
2012-09-23 12:01:09 PM  
Wow, the Seattle Times has proven itself to be more worthless than The Stranger, which is our city's free rag/hipster tabloid.
 
2012-09-23 12:38:11 PM  
I've put my older kidlette in swim classes several times. She still won't swim on her own without a life vest, and therefore can't advance to level 2. Then again, I have been trying to learn to swim as an adult. It's a total psychological thing for me, and I still get panicky if I can't touch bottom when coming out of a float.
 
2012-09-23 01:07:42 PM  
My parents made us all do swim team at the local pool. I hated the cold water and early morning practices, but it really taught us to swim better than standard swim lessons. And since the pool was walking distance, their being able to just kick us out the door was probably a plus too. My sister's the only one who got anywhere in competition, but all three of us are incredibly strong swimmers, and I used to be certified to lifeguard, though I never did.

It's a very good skill to have, and I can't imagine living life without being able to swim. No canoeing, kayaking, never being able to properly enjoy the beach, can't even duck in the hotel pool for a few laps while traveling? Teach your kid to swim- it really can save their life.

Teaching your kid to cook would be a really good idea too, regardless of gender. It's nice to be able to make yourself just about any random meal you think of, when you want it, not to mention that cooking for yourself is cheaper than constantly eating out. And girls love a guy who can cook.
 
2012-09-23 01:25:02 PM  

cptjeff: It's a very good skill to have, and I can't imagine living life without being able to swim. No canoeing, kayaking, never being able to properly enjoy the beach, can't even duck in the hotel pool for a few laps while traveling? Teach your kid to swim- it really can save their life.


You don't need to swim in order to canoe, a life preserver is sufficient if you capsize to get your canoe righted regardless of swimming ability. I've certainly done my share of canoeing and sailing without being able to swim. But in general you are right that it is a useful to have. Saving your own life probably won't come into play if you know your own limitations, more important though is you might end up saving the life of someone else.
 
2012-09-23 02:27:16 PM  
s4.hubimg.com
Dory: Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down do you wanna know what you've gotta do?
Marlin: No I don't wanna know.
Dory: Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.
 
2012-09-23 02:27:42 PM  
just teach your kids to look at the world with their own eyes and think! not to just take the word of some authority figure (even if it's you). after that everything is easier (in the long run, after the arguments). when that task is accomplished, you can start to teach them everything else.

most of the things my children learned, they learned by themselves and i am so proud of them.
 
2012-09-23 04:15:07 PM  
properly raising a child may be one of the most demanding, diversified and exhausting tasks an adult can hope to achieve. IMHO very few are qualified to do so. that's why the world is so full of arseholes.
 
2012-09-23 06:31:15 PM  

Gwyrddu: cptjeff: It's a very good skill to have, and I can't imagine living life without being able to swim. No canoeing, kayaking, never being able to properly enjoy the beach, can't even duck in the hotel pool for a few laps while traveling? Teach your kid to swim- it really can save their life.

You don't need to swim in order to canoe, a life preserver is sufficient if you capsize to get your canoe righted regardless of swimming ability. I've certainly done my share of canoeing and sailing without being able to swim. But in general you are right that it is a useful to have. Saving your own life probably won't come into play if you know your own limitations, more important though is you might end up saving the life of someone else.


If you're canoeing or sailing in water that you can't stand in without being able to swim, you're putting your life at risk. No, a flotation aid is not enough. They're useful, but they do not replace the ability to swim. If you let somebody go out in your boat, knowing they cannot swim, and something happens, it would rise to the level of criminal negligence.

I'm sorry, but doing anything on the water without being able to swim is an incredibly bad idea.
 
2012-09-23 07:01:33 PM  

cptjeff: Gwyrddu: cptjeff: It's a very good skill to have, and I can't imagine living life without being able to swim. No canoeing, kayaking, never being able to properly enjoy the beach, can't even duck in the hotel pool for a few laps while traveling? Teach your kid to swim- it really can save their life.

You don't need to swim in order to canoe, a life preserver is sufficient if you capsize to get your canoe righted regardless of swimming ability. I've certainly done my share of canoeing and sailing without being able to swim. But in general you are right that it is a useful to have. Saving your own life probably won't come into play if you know your own limitations, more important though is you might end up saving the life of someone else.

If you're canoeing or sailing in water that you can't stand in without being able to swim, you're putting your life at risk. No, a flotation aid is not enough. They're useful, but they do not replace the ability to swim. If you let somebody go out in your boat, knowing they cannot swim, and something happens, it would rise to the level of criminal negligence.

I'm sorry, but doing anything on the water without being able to swim is an incredibly bad idea.


You more likely need to be able to "survival float" and not necessarily swim.
 
2012-09-23 08:01:17 PM  
If you never learned to swim or your parents never taught you then you've all failed. Imagine your child's lungs filling with water and the pain involved before finally blacking out from lack of oxygen. Their last thought is going to be why didn't you help me? Live with that!! Same goes for parents that never get CPR training.
 
2012-09-23 10:38:48 PM  
Interesting tag won out over sappy, why exactly?
 
2012-09-24 07:13:40 AM  

spiral_fishcake: Interesting tag won out over sappy, why exactly?


I thought that too when reading the article. It was sappy and most of the commenters are heartless bastards.
 
Displayed 35 of 35 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report