FARK.com: (7342588) Police charge dumbass who jumped into tiger cage, "to be one with the tiger", with misdemeanor trespassing, being tasty

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		Police charge dumbass who jumped into tiger cage, "to be one with the tiger", with misdemeanor trespassing, being tasty (news.yahoo.com)		35
		More: Followup, misdemeanor trespassing, security fence, Bronx Zoo, WABC, railroad cars, bottle cage, Science News

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2355 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Sep 2012 at 6:51 AM | Favorite | share:

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Apos		2012-09-23 03:15:44 AM

"Next time,Homo Imbecilus."

Bathia_Mapes		2012-09-23 03:17:28 AM

Apos: [www.crystalinks.com image 300x293]

"Next time,Homo Imbecilus."

So close, so close.

Shadowtag		2012-09-23 06:55:05 AM

Apos: [www.crystalinks.com image 300x293]

"Next time,Homo Imbecilus."

Is that why that looks so much like Carlin? He'd have been all over this in his prime.

/RIP funnyman/warrior philosopher

doglover		2012-09-23 06:56:57 AM

Felony Surviving a Darwin attempt to be punished by chemical sterilization. The chemical to be used should be iron.

Honest Bender		2012-09-23 07:01:04 AM

Sorry, Roger. You tiger now.

PunkTiger		2012-09-23 07:04:56 AM

Y'know, I like tigers myself (as if my handle didn't give that away), but even I'M not that idiotic to jump into a tiger enclosure. That being said, the guy wanted "to be one with the tiger." Maybe he wanted to be eaten... then he'd be really one with the tiger.

LonMead		2012-09-23 07:08:36 AM

"Are you One with the ground, oh rapturous one?"
www.astronerdboy.com

"Lo, I am ruptured..."

LordJiro		2012-09-23 07:09:24 AM

I was half expecting that they'd put the tiger down, as they tend to do when dumbshiats get themselves hurt/killed. Glad they didn't kill it.

Captain Steroid		2012-09-23 07:28:35 AM

Well, his foot is now one with the tiger's stomach, so... "Mission Accomplished"?

Day_Old_Dutchie		2012-09-23 07:46:51 AM

One with the tiger

imageshack.us

Unobtanium		2012-09-23 07:55:12 AM

<Get Smart> Missed it by THAT much </Get Smart>

qsblues		2012-09-23 08:01:22 AM

next time some dumbass does this, please, just let the animal kill him. Whatever it takes to get traffic moving faster.

daxxenos		2012-09-23 08:08:18 AM

He should have just done what the Buddhist monk did when he hit Times Square:

Walked up to Nathen's and told them, "Make me One with Everything..."

Thanks to Robin W...

The Gentleman Caller		2012-09-23 08:53:08 AM

That tiger went tiger.

flyinglizard		2012-09-23 09:00:12 AM

This reminds me of the idiot, a few years back, who wanted to be one with the grizzly bears in Alaska. He wanted to prove that he could commune with the bears and they would accept him. All they found of him was a shredded sleeping bag, some scraps of clothes and a couple of very large bear poops.

Alleyoop		2012-09-23 09:05:58 AM

miltoncharles		2012-09-23 09:28:39 AM

I'll bet this guy's in the 47%.

SoupJohnB		2012-09-23 09:31:11 AM

Captain Steroid: Well, his foot is now one with the tiger's stomach, so... "Mission Accomplished"?

Well yes, until it becomes tiger poop.

ranken		2012-09-23 09:49:34 AM

calvin and hobbs live again

SwiftFox		2012-09-23 10:12:51 AM

He will later be found to be the first known case of toxoplasmosis homini, a disease which, although showing no serious symptoms otherwise, causes the victim to attempt to feed himself to the first large feline - tiger, jaguar, lion, puma, etc - that they encounter. The feline is the definitive host where the parasite can reproduce and be shed into the local human environment, completing the growth cycle.

mikewadestr		2012-09-23 10:46:05 AM

He should have gone ahead and put his head in the tiger's mouth.

Quantum Apostrophe		2012-09-23 10:59:48 AM

When the tiger found out that the dumbass was a real estate agent, the tiger lost appetite.
/So then what could we use to kill real estate agents?
//Hate the scumbags. Evil, vile, filthy liars, scum, deceptive psychopaths, greasy opportunists, parastic disease on mankind.

Old_Fark		2012-09-23 11:25:58 AM

I would be in favor of letting him obtain his heart's desire. Would also help the zoo with feed bills. I would look at it as a donation. Probably would be bad PR for the zoo but as soon as the election is over our spin masters could figure a way to make it a selling point.

offmymeds		2012-09-23 11:36:01 AM

Before his now-infamous tangle with a Bronx Zoo tiger, David Villalobos adorned his Facebook page with New Age odes to Mother Earth and affirmations like, "Be love and fearless."

If there's one thing I hate as much as emos, goths and juggalos, it's douchebag New Agers. farkin' hippies!

grimlock1972		2012-09-23 12:17:41 PM

It's the eye of the tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge
Of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
And he's watching us all with the
Eye of the tiger

blurr_grrl		2012-09-23 12:50:17 PM

Wanted for questioning; if Roy's out of the hospital, that is. You'd think people would learn by example.

stuffy		2012-09-23 01:09:34 PM

"to be one with the tiger"
Say what you will he came close.

AirForceVet		2012-09-23 01:33:05 PM

There was a Babylon 5 episode about a missing floor in the space station where religious zealots waited to be eaten, become one with some wild alien Zarg.

Gyrfalcon		2012-09-23 01:41:42 PM

grimlock1972: It's the eye of the tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge
Of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
And he's watching us all with the
Eye of the tiger

Thanks for the mindworm, fool. Aaaarrrgghhh!!

That song was de rigeur for young karate enthusiasts at tournaments in the late 80's...I NEVER want to hear it again!!

spexandwally		2012-09-23 01:56:29 PM

If you're a grown mother farker, and you get killed, and you get killed by a tiger, and you get killed by a tiger in a zoo, and you get killed by a tiger in a zoo in San Francisco, I think God's will has been done for your life. I think that's exactly what was suppose to happen, and I think he wanted me to laugh about it a whole lot.

Bathia_Mapes		2012-09-23 02:35:01 PM

Captain Steroid: Well, his foot is now one with the tiger's stomach, so... "Mission Accomplished"?

The tiger didn't eat the guy's foot. That was initially reported, but later proved to be false.

Gyrfalcon		2012-09-23 02:39:06 PM

Bathia_Mapes: Captain Steroid: Well, his foot is now one with the tiger's stomach, so... "Mission Accomplished"?

The tiger didn't eat the guy's foot. That was initially reported, but later proved to be false.

So he's now one with a hill of ants?

Apos		2012-09-23 02:57:44 PM

Another "one with the tiger" moment(if only out of necessity):

www.cinemapulse.com

theorellior		2012-09-23 03:38:19 PM

He should have gotten a remote control bomb, and stuck it up the tiger's butt, and then detonated the bomb as he was hugging the tiger.

KrispyKritter		2012-09-23 03:45:36 PM

LordJiro: I was half expecting that they'd put the tiger down, as they tend to do when dumbshiats get themselves hurt/killed. Glad they didn't kill it.

bingo. we really need to start executing these morans, not the animals.

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