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(The Next Web)   Facebook wants you to snitch on your friends   (thenextweb.com) divider line 91
    More: Unlikely, Facebook, ongoing wars  
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9572 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Sep 2012 at 3:51 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-22 02:36:22 PM  
So, My Basius Metallicus pseudonym is going to be banned?

/farking snitch generation
 
2012-09-22 02:39:14 PM  
And I want a three way with Bar Refaeli and Erin Heatherton.


Both scenarios have the same chances of resounding success.
 
2012-09-22 03:07:01 PM  
uppitywoman08.files.wordpress.com
Colonel Mustard. In the Hall. With the Revolver.
 
2012-09-22 03:55:24 PM  
It's amazing that this stock was just declared massively overvalued. I will buy a nice bottle of Lagavulin when this shiatbox finally myspaces.
 
2012-09-22 03:56:10 PM  
♪ ♫ I'M PLANNING REVENGE ON MY FRIENDS ♪ ♫  
 
2012-09-22 03:57:40 PM  
So what would happen if people reported on real names, but claimed they were fake? Would the false positives cause Facebook to reject the entire process as unreliable?
 
2012-09-22 03:57:45 PM  

Apos: And I want a three way with Bar Refaeli and Erin Heatherton.


Both scenarios have the same chances of resounding success.


Well, one of the answers is "I don't want to tell you", which sounds to me like Facebook will certainly interpret several of those answers regarding your facebook alt as a "no".

This is why my facebook alts have no friends. (Not an explanation for why my real alt has no friends :( )

And yes, I got some facebook alts at the same time they started allowing facebook to be used as a general web commenting system.
 
2012-09-22 03:58:39 PM  

rebelyell2006: So what would happen if people reported on real names, but claimed they were fake? Would the false positives cause Facebook to reject the entire process as unreliable?


That's actually an excellent idea, but would probably never work unless you can get reddit or 4chan to campaign for that.
 
2012-09-22 03:58:52 PM  
Whatever. When I've had a farkbook account I've never used a real name, not mine and could never be a real name.
 
2012-09-22 03:59:23 PM  

basemetal: So, My Basius Metallicus pseudonym is going to be banned?

/farking snitch generation


I'm thinking "basemetal" is not your real name either.
 
2012-09-22 04:00:06 PM  

RoyBatty: rebelyell2006: So what would happen if people reported on real names, but claimed they were fake? Would the false positives cause Facebook to reject the entire process as unreliable?

That's actually an excellent idea, but would probably never work unless you can get reddit or 4chan to campaign for that.


Oh yeah be real tough to get /b/ in on something like that... snicker.
 
2012-09-22 04:00:53 PM  

Phil Moskowitz: It's amazing that this stock was just declared massively overvalued.


I love how the 6 month graph on their stock is the absolute inverse of Google, Apple, Amazon and every other currently popular tech/net company.
 
2012-09-22 04:02:33 PM  
I am safe because I already use my real name on Facebook: Fornicus, Lord of Bondage and Pain.
 
2012-09-22 04:03:20 PM  
But I really am Jackoff Meoff.

Suck it facefail
 
2012-09-22 04:04:59 PM  
I've seen this pop up a couple of times now, on friends I know are using a fake last name. Both times I just answered "yes", because that's the only answer facebook won't read as "no".

/Yes, my friend's real name is Harry Balzak.
 
2012-09-22 04:10:49 PM  
Might as well It's not like they're my real friends anyway.
 
2012-09-22 04:10:50 PM  
i still don't understand why a publicly traded company has no option to contact someone directly rather than link to a community page where you post a question and other users answer.
 
2012-09-22 04:11:01 PM  

Phil Moskowitz: I will buy a nice bottle of Lagavulin when this shiatbox finally myspaces.


This. But where will everyone migrate to? Back to Myspace?

The blinking gifs... they give me seizures.

I would like to say Diaspora, but as someone who signed up and finally got an account like 6 months ago, I am... disappointed to understate the issue.

Diaspora is like Facebook, but run off a pair of 1541 drives.
 
2012-09-22 04:11:18 PM  
Most of the people I know on Facebook that have fake/incomplete names are teachers or paranoid people. I've also known a few people to shorten long last names to just the first syllable.

In the end, who cares? As long as you're not impersonating someone else.
 
2012-09-22 04:12:37 PM  
I'm not completely sure why they care as much as they do. Yeah, if I'm Sexxxxxy Q. Chunkybutt to my buddies on Facebook, then maybe I'm not going to use that as my one-size-fits-all internet ID.

But Sexxxxxy Q. Chunkybutt's consumer profile, ad clicks, and so forth are all as internally coherent as they'd be with my real name, and worth just as much for ad-sales and data-mining purposes.

Actually, maybe they just don't want me figuring out how many different people they're selling my information to, if I start getting junk mail and telemarketing calls for Mr. Chunkybutt. Not that I give Facebook my address and phone number, but some (stupid) people do.

/that's "Sexxxxxy" with five Xs
//friend me on Facebook!
 
2012-09-22 04:12:58 PM  
You jokers using fake names are turning Facebook into a place where personal information is no longer sacred.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2012-09-22 04:13:14 PM  

Phil Moskowitz: It's amazing that this stock was just declared massively overvalued. I will buy a nice bottle of Lagavulin when this shiatbox finally myspaces.


AH, a man of taste and refinement!
I will join you with a Oban '64 signed limited casking.We can share a good old Nelson-style HAHA when it eats it.
 
2012-09-22 04:14:56 PM  
You are a much more valuable product to package and sell if they have your real name and as much real information about you as possible.

If you're not paying, then you're the product. This is part of increasing your market value. Like getting your biatches some nicer outfits and freaky lingerie.
 
2012-09-22 04:16:00 PM  

bubo_sibiricus: This. But where will everyone migrate to? Back to Myspace?


G+ is probably the next big thing, but they have the same requirement.

/use my real name on facebook
//because I'm not a secret agent in real life
 
2012-09-22 04:18:12 PM  
What I posted on fb:

--------------------------------

The right to call yourself anything you want (as long as you're not trying to defraud anyone) exists in meatspace. We should not relinquish it in e-space simply because a company wants to make more money than it already does.

This is my real online name. I was forced to choose it because Facebook didn't allow me to use my actual online name that I had been using since 1986. I have grown rather fond of it in addition to my other name.

The answer to this question, should you ever come across something like this anywhere, is "that's his real name." And yes, it will affect the person's account. That part in the dialog box is a huge lie.

------------------------------

What I didn't post on FB: If I find out someone reports me as not being a real owl, that person will be defriended in meatspace too as "not to be trusted."
 
2012-09-22 04:21:23 PM  

TsukasaK: G+ is probably the next big thing, but they have the same requirement.


I am on G+ too.

I once followed ESR on this issue. He calls it the "Sexygirl69 problem" because it offends him.

He is for removing all anonymity everywhere. Never mind that people in real life sometimes need aliases to get away from abusers (male or female) as an example. No no, one must use one's real name because anything else is deception.

fark him.
 
2012-09-22 04:26:58 PM  

bubo_sibiricus: What I posted on fb:

--------------------------------

The right to call yourself anything you want (as long as you're not trying to defraud anyone) exists in meatspace. We should not relinquish it in e-space simply because a company wants to make more money than it already does.

This is my real online name. I was forced to choose it because Facebook didn't allow me to use my actual online name that I had been using since 1986. I have grown rather fond of it in addition to my other name.

The answer to this question, should you ever come across something like this anywhere, is "that's his real name." And yes, it will affect the person's account. That part in the dialog box is a huge lie.

------------------------------

What I didn't post on FB: If I find out someone reports me as not being a real owl, that person will be defriended in meatspace too as "not to be trusted."


THIS. Also, I use my (incoming outdated cyberpunk reference) AE at gaming conventions, otherwise no one would know who I am.

/"Yeah, but what the Hell does your name MEAN?!" - It's a Danish variant of Old Norse: it means "Justice".
 
2012-09-22 04:31:16 PM  
I dont use my real name on facebook. Good thing i have zero friends, soo i cant be snitched on.
 
2012-09-22 04:34:10 PM  

bubo_sibiricus: He is for removing all anonymity everywhere. Never mind that people in real life sometimes need aliases to get away from abusers (male or female) as an example. No no, one must use one's real name because anything else is deception.


Jesus, poison the well much?

Let's go with your example, an abuser. You just got out of a shiatty relationship with your life and the clothes on your back. Fast forward a few years, you set up a new Facebook account. With your real name, as the service requires.

You then get a friend request out of nowhere from your abusive ex.

What do you do?

Do you:

A) Ignore the request and hit "I don't know this person", thereby blocking them and any further requests from them
B) Accept the request and grant the person access to your updated personal details

One of these things makes sense, one of them does not.
 
2012-09-22 04:35:43 PM  
On facebook, I'm everybody's imaginary friend.

/off to report Drew for not using his real name. Lord Drew of Snark
 
2012-09-22 04:37:55 PM  
Oh, look. Another reason not to use facebook.
 
2012-09-22 04:40:55 PM  
If this pops up are you required to answer? What hapens if you don't?
 
2012-09-22 04:41:38 PM  

bubo_sibiricus: TsukasaK: G+ is probably the next big thing, but they have the same requirement.

I am on G+ too.

I once followed ESR on this issue. He calls it the "Sexygirl69 problem" because it offends him.

He is for removing all anonymity everywhere. Never mind that people in real life sometimes need aliases to get away from abusers (male or female) as an example. No no, one must use one's real name because anything else is deception.

fark him.


Fark him in the patotie

Anyone know of an good open source facebook equivalent yet?
 
2012-09-22 04:43:14 PM  
Snitches get stitches and wind up in ditches.
 
2012-09-22 04:48:39 PM  
Next they're going to want to check my anus.
 
2012-09-22 04:52:43 PM  
While I do not use FB at all, I have a friend who tried to sign up using her real name and it wouldn't take it as it didn't think that was a "real" name. Ummm, that is an exceptionally common name in very old Norwegian families and throughout Iceland, and it's not a "real" name? Wtf? FB hates Nordic people? She ended up using an absolutely ridiculous pseudonym that isn't even close to her real name to get on there, just because she wanted to see what all the hubbub was about. She ended up trying to kill her account about a month later and that was a PITA, too. Zuckerberg and his psycho sis need someone to kick them in the chest so maybe their heads will finally pop out of their azzes.

/I wish the lovely Shaniquea luck with that name
//same with her BFF Britneigh
 
2012-09-22 04:52:48 PM  

TsukasaK: Jesus, poison the well much?


Then let's go with what just happened in Syria.

The government was using FB and Twitter to find out who was circulating information, getting their real names, going to their houses, and shooting them.

Anonymity is a right. It is an *important* right.
 
2012-09-22 04:56:45 PM  

bubo_sibiricus: The government was using FB and Twitter to find out who was circulating information, getting their real names, going to their houses, and shooting them.


Because the USA is exactly like a tinpot dictatorship, and because you have the *right* of anonymity on a private service.

So can anyone who hates Facebook for this policy compose an argument about why it's bad without invoking any fallacious reasoning?
 
2012-09-22 04:58:38 PM  
In a related story, Pearl Weeks just received 5,986 new friend requests
 
2012-09-22 04:58:50 PM  

TsukasaK: So can anyone who hates Facebook for this policy compose an argument about why it's bad without invoking any fallacious reasoning?


How about you meet my middle finger and fark off?

Plonk.

Go be a brownshirt somewhere else.
 
2012-09-22 04:59:13 PM  
I have to have a long talk with Ray Vaughn.
 
2012-09-22 04:59:56 PM  

bubo_sibiricus: How about you meet my middle finger and fark off?

Well that escalated quickly. On the off chance I'm not on ignore right now, I still invite you to explain to me why requiring real names is such a horrible thing.

 
2012-09-22 05:00:08 PM  

TsukasaK: bubo_sibiricus: The government was using FB and Twitter to find out who was circulating information, getting their real names, going to their houses, and shooting them.

Because the USA is exactly like a tinpot dictatorship, and because you have the *right* of anonymity on a private service.

So can anyone who hates Facebook for this policy compose an argument about why it's bad without invoking any fallacious reasoning?


It's only "fallacious" when you don't know the difference between bad and illegal.
 
2012-09-22 05:01:48 PM  

12349876: It's only "fallacious" when you don't know the difference between bad and illegal.


Bad? One could make an argument that signing up with a website that basically says "Yeah, you have to use your real name here, is that a problem?" and you respond to that with "No problem, I'll make sure to do that!" would be "Bad". It makes you a farking liar if nothing else.
 
2012-09-22 05:02:14 PM  
You could NOT use the product. That's an option.
 
2012-09-22 05:03:34 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: You could NOT use the product. That's an option.


Absolutely not! It's my god given farking RIGHT to use whatever name I want on a private website, nevermind what I promised I would do.

/agreed though
//don't like the rules of the party, don't join
///personal responsibility, what a novel concept!
 
2012-09-22 05:05:52 PM  
Oh please with the 'trying to make it a safer environment' garbage. This is being pursued more vigorously as Zuck is trying to convince investment houses that he really does have 100 Million actual users.

- Don't rat out my dog's page, please?
 
2012-09-22 05:07:19 PM  
If it is my friend's real name, I am gonna say it isn't...
If it isn't my friend's real name, I am gonna say it is...
 
2012-09-22 05:08:21 PM  

RoyBatty: Apos: And I want a three way with Bar Refaeli and Erin Heatherton.


Both scenarios have the same chances of resounding success.

Well, one of the answers is "I don't want to tell you", which sounds to me like Facebook will certainly interpret several of those answers regarding your facebook alt as a "no".

This is why my facebook alts have no friends. (Not an explanation for why my real alt has no friends :( )

And yes, I got some facebook alts at the same time they started allowing facebook to be used as a general web commenting system.


How soon before they send you a message "you've made no friends in several months. We're deleting your account."
 
2012-09-22 05:10:31 PM  
We should start an official Fark Poll:

How many FB accounts do you have (including aliases, pets and etc):

I will go first:

6
 
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