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(Some Guy)   Bleating Apple fanboy's iPhone 'experience' is ruined when the sales drone takes it out of the box where he can't see it. Oh, the humanity   (nickwoodhams.com) divider line 55
    More: Dumbass, iPhone, Apple fanboy  
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14719 clicks; posted to Geek » on 22 Sep 2012 at 12:36 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-09-22 08:12:00 AM
20 votes:
So his experience was ruined, his morning shattered, his world rent asunder, and not once did he utter a peep to explain that he wanted things to be happening another way.

If you are this utterly powerless, meek, and passive in your dealings with others, particularly around events that concern you, and then you go home and use your passivity and lack of action as the foundation for a later blog post declaiming how unfairly you have been treated, you are nothing but a passive-aggressive doormat. You're a coward, you're a tool, you're a speedbump. You deserve contempt and mockery. You belong, actually, on the Consumerist, where similarly cowering mobs of faint-hearted fawns can fan themselves and whimper together about the horrors of the darkest sides of humanity.
2012-09-22 01:22:36 PM
6 votes:
Sprint employee here...

You know why we open the boxes for you? Because the average customer (particularly the average Sprint customer) is too stupid to activate the device themselves, and will come back more pissed off about it not working than you are because "WAAAA they opened it!" Not to mention the fact that if you don't unbrick and activate it properly, the data connection won't work unless we factory reset it (after taking additional time to back up the device to iTunes since you're too goddamn stupid to work a computer).

By the way, if you tell me to swap it for an unopened one, you'll be told, in the most polite, tactful, friendly way possible, to fark right off. Once they've been added to the account, they're used. Whether we open the box or not, that phone cannot be resold to another customer. I'm not taking the heat from corporate for replacing a perfectly good device (especially one with demand this high) just because you wanted to tear your own shrink wrap, crybaby.
2012-09-22 01:01:25 PM
5 votes:
i241.photobucket.com
2012-09-22 11:00:56 AM
4 votes:
It's a times like this when I am forced to take a deep breath and remind myself that a few thousand idiots jumping like a Yorkie when you shake the treat box for a phone are off set by the 300+ million people who did not. Yet, when the morning news stories are filled with these vapid asshats waxing prosaic over an iteration of device in existence for half a decade, I find this state of acceptance difficult to maintain.
2012-09-22 10:31:45 AM
4 votes:
FTFA: Opening an Apple product is a religious experience.

There's your problem.
2012-09-22 07:59:26 AM
4 votes:
Last year when I upgraded to the 4S I preordered it online, it was delivered to my house on release day, and was there when I got home. I followed the simple instructions to backup my old phone and activate my new one, and I was done.

Why the hell do people go to a store on release day?
2012-09-22 02:40:57 PM
3 votes:
Apple users; this is why we make fun of you. This. It's not the stats / technical capabilities of your phones. It's THIS RIGHT HERE.
2012-09-22 12:46:57 PM
3 votes:
I'm hoping this is a satire. It is certainly a well-crafted piece if that's his intention, because it really started to make me angry to think that someone could be so shallow and entitled to write such a piece for any other purpose.
2012-09-22 10:39:18 AM
3 votes:
This is why I like that Android has about 5,983 phones released every month. There's no media-pimped build-up; it's just a farking phone. If Google controlled all hardware and made only one Android phone a year, you can bet we'd see the same levels of idiocy.

/posted from my Asus laptop
2012-09-22 02:09:54 PM
2 votes:
Sweet zombie Jesus, that's the most punchable face I've ever seen.
2012-09-22 02:08:47 PM
2 votes:
This is why I never agreed with "the customer is always right". They seldom are and the more insistent they are the more wrong they are. This little biatch should never leave his parents house.
2012-09-22 01:39:19 PM
2 votes:
Can someone just give this guy a great big smack across the mouth? Not enough to really hurt him, but enough to get him to tear up a little.
2012-09-22 01:21:56 PM
2 votes:
I suspect I'm sometimes more critical of Apple products than I otherwise would be, if only to compensate for the people who believe that they are literally magic.
2012-09-22 10:14:23 AM
2 votes:
Yeah, this guy's a little over the top. But I agree with him to a certain extent, regardless of it being an Apple product or not.
 
If I didn't know jack about any tech devices I'd be like, "Yeah, sure go ahead, set that up for me". But part of the enjoyment I get from new gadgets is, kinda what the writer is talking about (albeit on a hugely lower level), the experience of unpacking it, turning it on for the first time, setting it up, etc, etc.
 
Here's how they he should have handled it. 
 
1. He tells the rep, "Hey chief, how about you go get me a new unopened iPhone, I pay for it and walk out of the store."
2012-09-22 07:08:58 AM
2 votes:
Im a pretty un-apple kind of guy, but if I buy something completely new and very expensive and someone else takes it out of the box and farks about with it before I have checked the contents then he is changing it for a new one.

If he drops any part of it, charger or whatever, on the floor he is changing it for a new one.

Hell if anyone but me breaks the security seal on the pack he is changing it for a new one. Otherwise I have no way whatsoever of knowing it is a new unit.
2012-09-22 05:53:35 AM
2 votes:

mr_a: Maybe its just me, but opening a new Apple product is usually my LEAST favorite part of the experience.


I dunno...I mean, I wouldn't be as upset as this guy and anal about not looking at other phones. But, this is like that pushy friend we had as kids that tried to help us open our birthday presents.

It's my toy.
2012-09-22 10:21:41 PM
1 votes:

elvisaintdead: He went full douche. You NEVER go full douche.

jeebus, what a farking crybaby weener.


Heh. After I read that blog post, I muttered out loud "what a weener".
2012-09-22 10:18:08 PM
1 votes:

TheTrashcanMan: Oh suck it Droidtards.


i.qkme.me
2012-09-22 09:38:24 PM
1 votes:
He could have had it shipped. Then he would have had it all to himself.
2012-09-22 08:22:43 PM
1 votes:
That's it.

Just because of this I am going to take a trip to the Apple store with a small speaker hidden in my pocket and play the default iphone text message sound loudly every few minutes so I can get every wanker in the place digging their phones out at the same time.
2012-09-22 07:58:30 PM
1 votes:
He is just pissed that the sales guy played just the tip with his new iGirl.
2012-09-22 06:39:06 PM
1 votes:

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: ... and this, my friends, is why I refuse to touch anything Apple. The technology is OK, but the lawyers and users are complete wastes of oxygen.


The lawyers are doing what lawyers do. Happens in every field.
Not all the users are morons. I come down pretty heavy on Apple fanboys, and I use a few Apple products.
Ok, maybe I'm a bit of a moron sometimes; but you'll never find me worshiping at the iAlter.
2012-09-22 05:40:17 PM
1 votes:
As an android user, I feel like this article is an absolutely worthless waste of everyone's time.
I don't care that this child didn't get what he wanted - and I'm pretty sure apple users don't give a fark either.
2012-09-22 04:25:34 PM
1 votes:
This was my experience buying my first smart phone. I had driven my mother 100 miles to Las Vegas to get a spinal tap. While we were in the medical building, there was a major downpour, that closed the entrance to the freeway that I was familiar with, so I got lost. In trying to find another freeway entrance, I passed a RadioShack.

I backtracked and ran into the store, and a young girl asked if she could help me. I asked her if she could sell me a (brand X) phone in 15 minutes, as I had my mother in pain and wanted to get her home. She trotted down the line of accessories, unwrapping them as she went, got to the counter, made a phone call, activated the phone, explained how to use it, and set up the GPS so I could figure out how to get back to the freeway, all in 11 minutes.

This was my first and only happy visit to a RadioShack. I was so impressed, I wrote their headquarters.
2012-09-22 03:56:31 PM
1 votes:
I predict this thread will be entering epic territory momentarily.
2012-09-22 03:27:03 PM
1 votes:
imageshack.us
2012-09-22 03:26:12 PM
1 votes:
i49.tinypic.com
2012-09-22 03:16:48 PM
1 votes:
I really want to push him into a locker and then take his lunch money.
2012-09-22 03:12:24 PM
1 votes:
It's a farking phone. It's not an Oscar, Nobel Prize or blowjob from God Himself. There's no "experience", there's no sharing, there's just you and a goddamned cardboard box standing between you and your overpriced substandard electronics.

/sheltered man-child white people problems
2012-09-22 02:51:24 PM
1 votes:

The My Little Pony Killer: awfulperson: This article is infinitely more entertaining if you replace the word "iPhone" with "RealDoll."

I'm going to start doing that with every mention of iPhone RealDolls going forward.


Good idea.

Opening a RealDoll isn't a religious experience. Using a RealDoll isn't even a religious experience. I have a RealDoll and enjoy it immensely, but people like this guy make me embarrassed to use it in public.
2012-09-22 02:08:35 PM
1 votes:
There's gonna be a goddamn war, and these people will be the first up against the wall.
2012-09-22 02:07:54 PM
1 votes:
White people's problems.
2012-09-22 02:07:05 PM
1 votes:
Opening an Apple product is a religious experience.

So is circumcision, and like a bris, an intelligent person will not do it more than once.
2012-09-22 02:06:21 PM
1 votes:

Braggi: I guess it is to hard to say to the salesperson in a pleasant voice. "Hey, do you mind if I open that? I think its kind of cool to open new toys."


I think actually putting those thoughts into words would make the speaker realize just how low they have sunk.
2012-09-22 02:04:11 PM
1 votes:

scottydoesntknow:
Well if it's the same guy as the article linked up top, Apple gave him a right smacking across the face, twice. They sued him for around 1.5 million because he was scamming people on iPhone/iPod repairs and he spent some time in jail.


Yup. Looks like it is he same guy. And it looks like now he has a new company called "Please Return Me" that runs the same scam that got him sued and thrown in jail.
2012-09-22 02:03:50 PM
1 votes:
Flipped off, even.
2012-09-22 02:01:51 PM
1 votes:
Because the launch of a new iPhone is the time to start tailoring the customer experience to the individual, not get people in and get them out again. It's cool, dude. You go ahead and have your little "experience" at the counter, there. Take as long as you want. There's nobody in line behind you. Your mom was right...you're a snowflake and the only person on the planet that matters.

What do you want to bet this dude gets flipped of while driving daily?
2012-09-22 01:44:22 PM
1 votes:

scottydoesntknow: This guy must be a masochist to still be in love with them.


TFA said that opening an Apple product is a religious experience. He's like a guy who was buggered by a priest but is still a devout Catholic.
2012-09-22 01:43:13 PM
1 votes:
I guess it is to hard to say to the salesperson in a pleasant voice. "Hey, do you mind if I open that? I think its kind of cool to open new toys."
2012-09-22 01:41:38 PM
1 votes:

poorjon: Can someone just give this guy a great big smack across the mouth? Not enough to really hurt him, but enough to get him to tear up a little.


Well if it's the same guy as the article linked up top, Apple gave him a right smacking across the face, twice. They sued him for around 1.5 million because he was scamming people on iPhone/iPod repairs and he spent some time in jail.

This guy must be a masochist to still be in love with them.
2012-09-22 01:29:50 PM
1 votes:
Whoever wrote this, please kill yourself for the benefit of all mankind.
2012-09-22 01:29:31 PM
1 votes:
Opening an Apple product is a religious experience.

OH HELL NO
2012-09-22 01:05:22 PM
1 votes:

I_Am_Weasel: So, I assume, this is what is called a first world problem?


Yeah, imagine if he had to make the damn thing. Or thousands of them.

I like a few Apple products myself. And I like unboxing them. But it's won't ruin my day, if a rep does it all for me, sets it up and let's me go through out my day ready to use the phone. I'm lazy enough to think that would be a customer service thing. And the thing about Apple, if some part broke out of the box or later, they just replace it. Once my ex girlfriend accidentally took the wrong charger, no biggie, they gave me a new one.
2012-09-22 01:00:38 PM
1 votes:

45cal: Jesus it is just a phone.


No no no, that rotary phone from back in the day was just a phone, this device....this ambrosia that was delivered to us mere mortals from the gods of Apple Inc, forged in the furnaces of Foxconn shall advance mankind to levels unknown.

Just think with this new IPhone you have the world in your hands as if you were Atlas himself!
2012-09-22 12:53:54 PM
1 votes:
if he is this excited about opening his iPhone, imagine how giddy he will be the first time he has sex.
2012-09-22 12:48:16 PM
1 votes:

Pocket Ninja: So his experience was ruined, his morning shattered, his world rent asunder, and not once did he utter a peep to explain that he wanted things to be happening another way.

If you are this utterly powerless, meek, and passive in your dealings with others, particularly around events that concern you, and then you go home and use your passivity and lack of action as the foundation for a later blog post declaiming how unfairly you have been treated, you are nothing but a passive-aggressive doormat. You're a coward, you're a tool, you're a speedbump. You deserve contempt and mockery. You belong, actually, on the Consumerist, where similarly cowering mobs of faint-hearted fawns can fan themselves and whimper together about the horrors of the darkest sides of humanity.


Amen brother
2012-09-22 12:47:36 PM
1 votes:
Wow that article was so douchy I almost could smell the vinegar. Jesus it is just a phone.
2012-09-22 12:41:22 PM
1 votes:

violentsalvation: I wonder if this is the same guy.


That's him.

He owed Apple almost $700,000 in restitution, how in the hell does he have enough money for a farking iPhone?
2012-09-22 12:29:51 PM
1 votes:
This is a joke, right? Jesus, Apple fanbois suck.
2012-09-22 12:18:10 PM
1 votes:
I have an overwhelming urge to kick this guy in the shins and shove him in a locker. What a whiny biatch.
2012-09-22 11:57:18 AM
1 votes:
What a little pussy biatch he is. People like him deserve to be disappointed, and often. I should find that AT&T guy and thank him for ruining the blogger's day.
2012-09-22 10:53:01 AM
1 votes:
I was invited into the AT&T store this morning, after a long wait, to purchase my iPhone 5. I avoided looking at the display model iPhones on the way in, and averted my gaze from everyone elses iPhones. I wanted to enrich the experience of opening my own iPhone 5, and make it more special than it already would be. The sales rep retrieved the iPhone I requested...

Then he then proceeded to open the iPhone himself, with his back to me.


Self absorbed and ridiculous. You'll make a fine wage slave some day. Let me guess, you are already a developer?
2012-09-22 10:11:09 AM
1 votes:
Your childhood is over. You're not going to have another Christmas morning. Opening your presents while your parents look on approvingly, wallowing in consumerism. So sorry your artificial family experience was ruined by Apple, crybaby. But it's time to move on. Just be lucky your tears aren't flammable or I'd set your face on fire. Now get married, have some kids, and hate your life like the rest of us adults, son.
2012-09-22 08:20:16 AM
1 votes:
Wife said this guy is obviously not married!
2012-09-22 05:30:00 AM
1 votes:
Maybe its just me, but opening a new Apple product is usually my LEAST favorite part of the experience.
 
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