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(Some Guy)   Bleating Apple fanboy's iPhone 'experience' is ruined when the sales drone takes it out of the box where he can't see it. Oh, the humanity   (nickwoodhams.com) divider line 209
    More: Dumbass, iPhone, Apple fanboy  
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14722 clicks; posted to Geek » on 22 Sep 2012 at 12:36 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



209 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-09-22 05:30:00 AM
Maybe its just me, but opening a new Apple product is usually my LEAST favorite part of the experience.
 
2012-09-22 05:53:35 AM

mr_a: Maybe its just me, but opening a new Apple product is usually my LEAST favorite part of the experience.


I dunno...I mean, I wouldn't be as upset as this guy and anal about not looking at other phones. But, this is like that pushy friend we had as kids that tried to help us open our birthday presents.

It's my toy.
 
2012-09-22 07:08:58 AM
Im a pretty un-apple kind of guy, but if I buy something completely new and very expensive and someone else takes it out of the box and farks about with it before I have checked the contents then he is changing it for a new one.

If he drops any part of it, charger or whatever, on the floor he is changing it for a new one.

Hell if anyone but me breaks the security seal on the pack he is changing it for a new one. Otherwise I have no way whatsoever of knowing it is a new unit.
 
2012-09-22 07:59:26 AM
Last year when I upgraded to the 4S I preordered it online, it was delivered to my house on release day, and was there when I got home. I followed the simple instructions to backup my old phone and activate my new one, and I was done.

Why the hell do people go to a store on release day?
 
2012-09-22 08:12:00 AM
So his experience was ruined, his morning shattered, his world rent asunder, and not once did he utter a peep to explain that he wanted things to be happening another way.

If you are this utterly powerless, meek, and passive in your dealings with others, particularly around events that concern you, and then you go home and use your passivity and lack of action as the foundation for a later blog post declaiming how unfairly you have been treated, you are nothing but a passive-aggressive doormat. You're a coward, you're a tool, you're a speedbump. You deserve contempt and mockery. You belong, actually, on the Consumerist, where similarly cowering mobs of faint-hearted fawns can fan themselves and whimper together about the horrors of the darkest sides of humanity.
 
2012-09-22 08:20:16 AM
Wife said this guy is obviously not married!
 
2012-09-22 10:02:50 AM

Pocket Ninja: So his experience was ruined, his morning shattered, his world rent asunder, and not once did he utter a peep to explain that he wanted things to be happening another way.

If you are this utterly powerless, meek, and passive in your dealings with others, particularly around events that concern you, and then you go home and use your passivity and lack of action as the foundation for a later blog post declaiming how unfairly you have been treated, you are nothing but a passive-aggressive doormat. You're a coward, you're a tool, you're a speedbump. You deserve contempt and mockery. You belong, actually, on the Consumerist, where similarly cowering mobs of faint-hearted fawns can fan themselves and whimper together about the horrors of the darkest sides of humanity.


This belongs on a monument downtown, or on a status inside of every mall.
 
2012-09-22 10:03:25 AM
I wanted to enrich the experience of opening my own iPhone 5, and make it more special than it already would be

I'm pretty sure there are good medications on the market for this problem.
 
2012-09-22 10:10:18 AM
He went full douche. You NEVER go full douche.

jeebus, what a farking crybaby weener.
 
2012-09-22 10:11:09 AM
Your childhood is over. You're not going to have another Christmas morning. Opening your presents while your parents look on approvingly, wallowing in consumerism. So sorry your artificial family experience was ruined by Apple, crybaby. But it's time to move on. Just be lucky your tears aren't flammable or I'd set your face on fire. Now get married, have some kids, and hate your life like the rest of us adults, son.
 
2012-09-22 10:14:23 AM
Yeah, this guy's a little over the top. But I agree with him to a certain extent, regardless of it being an Apple product or not.
 
If I didn't know jack about any tech devices I'd be like, "Yeah, sure go ahead, set that up for me". But part of the enjoyment I get from new gadgets is, kinda what the writer is talking about (albeit on a hugely lower level), the experience of unpacking it, turning it on for the first time, setting it up, etc, etc.
 
Here's how they he should have handled it. 
 
1. He tells the rep, "Hey chief, how about you go get me a new unopened iPhone, I pay for it and walk out of the store."
 
2012-09-22 10:31:45 AM
FTFA: Opening an Apple product is a religious experience.

There's your problem.
 
2012-09-22 10:37:11 AM
I wish I was there when his parents told him Santa wasn't real. The tears would have been epic. Cry in the corner, Apple fanbois.
 
2012-09-22 10:39:18 AM
This is why I like that Android has about 5,983 phones released every month. There's no media-pimped build-up; it's just a farking phone. If Google controlled all hardware and made only one Android phone a year, you can bet we'd see the same levels of idiocy.

/posted from my Asus laptop
 
2012-09-22 10:50:56 AM

Generation_D: Pocket Ninja: So his experience was ruined, his morning shattered, his world rent asunder, and not once did he utter a peep to explain that he wanted things to be happening another way.

If you are this utterly powerless, meek, and passive in your dealings with others, particularly around events that concern you, and then you go home and use your passivity and lack of action as the foundation for a later blog post declaiming how unfairly you have been treated, you are nothing but a passive-aggressive doormat. You're a coward, you're a tool, you're a speedbump. You deserve contempt and mockery. You belong, actually, on the Consumerist, where similarly cowering mobs of faint-hearted fawns can fan themselves and whimper together about the horrors of the darkest sides of humanity.

This belongs on a monument downtown, or on a status inside of every mall.


It's should be the first words anyone sees when they visit The Consumerist.
 
2012-09-22 10:51:15 AM
Count me in as one of the people who don't want an experience. I got my iPad at an Apple store and they insisted on giving me the "experience". I didn't want them to open the box, set up anything or give me any instruction. All I wanted to do is a) give them their money and b) open the box to make sure the iPad is working.
 
2012-09-22 10:53:01 AM
I was invited into the AT&T store this morning, after a long wait, to purchase my iPhone 5. I avoided looking at the display model iPhones on the way in, and averted my gaze from everyone elses iPhones. I wanted to enrich the experience of opening my own iPhone 5, and make it more special than it already would be. The sales rep retrieved the iPhone I requested...

Then he then proceeded to open the iPhone himself, with his back to me.


Self absorbed and ridiculous. You'll make a fine wage slave some day. Let me guess, you are already a developer?
 
2012-09-22 10:55:47 AM
Nick Woodhams
Web Designer & Entrepreneur


Says so right on the page.

In my defense I had avoided looking at the sidebar on my way to reading your story, and averted my eyes from the margin. I wanted to enrich the experience of reading your douchiness on my own, make it more special than it already would be.
 
2012-09-22 11:00:56 AM
It's a times like this when I am forced to take a deep breath and remind myself that a few thousand idiots jumping like a Yorkie when you shake the treat box for a phone are off set by the 300+ million people who did not. Yet, when the morning news stories are filled with these vapid asshats waxing prosaic over an iteration of device in existence for half a decade, I find this state of acceptance difficult to maintain.
 
2012-09-22 11:11:54 AM
i buy an iphone for the old lady at the apple store every other release and i don't think they've ever had her unbox it. they always take it out, set it up for her, put the box in a bag with her old iphone and we walk out and go on with our life. is that not the default expectation?
 
2012-09-22 11:31:37 AM
So, I assume, this is what is called a first world problem?
 
2012-09-22 11:32:10 AM
This all reminds me that i really need to cash in my upgrade and finally replace my 1st gen moto droid
 
2012-09-22 11:35:09 AM
3. The rep then encourages you to open your iPhone and shares in your excitement.

The guy doesn't give a shiat about your experience, only his sales numbers. The more time it takes you to jizz yourself over your shiatty phone is less time he has to pressure other customers into purchases
 
2012-09-22 11:53:37 AM
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-22 11:57:18 AM
What a little pussy biatch he is. People like him deserve to be disappointed, and often. I should find that AT&T guy and thank him for ruining the blogger's day.
 
2012-09-22 12:05:34 PM
Fark iPhone fanbois. IPhone roll-outs are a huge pain in the ass. You can't even imagine. This has been the worst week.

/Works at Verizon
 
2012-09-22 12:14:13 PM
There's a part of me that really wants this to be a troll, but looking at the dude's Twitter feed... Man...

pics.campl.us

He looks like a douchier King Joffrey.
 
2012-09-22 12:18:10 PM
I have an overwhelming urge to kick this guy in the shins and shove him in a locker. What a whiny biatch.
 
2012-09-22 12:22:23 PM
 
2012-09-22 12:22:57 PM
This is why anyone who buys Apple products should be mocked.
 
2012-09-22 12:29:51 PM
This is a joke, right? Jesus, Apple fanbois suck.
 
2012-09-22 12:32:57 PM
What a farking douchebag.

Also, if this isn't the very definition of "white people problem" then I don't know what is. There are places on this planet where this man would be killed for being such a goddamn nancy about a farking phone.
 
2012-09-22 12:39:50 PM

Lsherm: What a farking douchebag.

Also, if this isn't the very definition of "white people problem" then I don't know what is. There are places on this planet where this man would be killed for being such a goddamn nancy about a farking phone.


I couldn't help but imagine a starving kid in a third world country given a handful of rice and saying "Awwww I wanted to open the rice bag up myself"
 
2012-09-22 12:41:22 PM

violentsalvation: I wonder if this is the same guy.


That's him.

He owed Apple almost $700,000 in restitution, how in the hell does he have enough money for a farking iPhone?
 
2012-09-22 12:41:27 PM
There are AT&T stores?
 
2012-09-22 12:44:54 PM

Lsherm: violentsalvation: I wonder if this is the same guy.

That's him.

He owed Apple almost $700,000 in restitution, how in the hell does he have enough money for a farking iPhone?


Hahaha. I wish he had his blog open to comments.
 
2012-09-22 12:45:04 PM

GAT_00: This is why anyone who buys Apple products should be mocked.


How long until you start pretending you are a cat?
 
2012-09-22 12:45:06 PM
i303.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-22 12:46:57 PM
I'm hoping this is a satire. It is certainly a well-crafted piece if that's his intention, because it really started to make me angry to think that someone could be so shallow and entitled to write such a piece for any other purpose.
 
2012-09-22 12:47:36 PM
Wow that article was so douchy I almost could smell the vinegar. Jesus it is just a phone.
 
2012-09-22 12:48:16 PM

Pocket Ninja: So his experience was ruined, his morning shattered, his world rent asunder, and not once did he utter a peep to explain that he wanted things to be happening another way.

If you are this utterly powerless, meek, and passive in your dealings with others, particularly around events that concern you, and then you go home and use your passivity and lack of action as the foundation for a later blog post declaiming how unfairly you have been treated, you are nothing but a passive-aggressive doormat. You're a coward, you're a tool, you're a speedbump. You deserve contempt and mockery. You belong, actually, on the Consumerist, where similarly cowering mobs of faint-hearted fawns can fan themselves and whimper together about the horrors of the darkest sides of humanity.


Amen brother
 
2012-09-22 12:49:10 PM

itsdan: Last year when I upgraded to the 4S I preordered it online, it was delivered to my house on release day, and was there when I got home. I followed the simple instructions to backup my old phone and activate my new one, and I was done.

Why the hell do people go to a store on release day?


Because this year, the online store sold out in minutes and then had 3-5 weeks delivery dates. So in a twist, on Friday most stores had piles of them in stock and all the people who pre-ordered where gnashing their teeth because their phone was still on a boat from China and the store wouldn't let them cancel their pre-order and buy in store.
 
2012-09-22 12:53:54 PM
if he is this excited about opening his iPhone, imagine how giddy he will be the first time he has sex.
 
2012-09-22 12:57:10 PM

violentsalvation: Lsherm: violentsalvation: I wonder if this is the same guy.

That's him.

He owed Apple almost $700,000 in restitution, how in the hell does he have enough money for a farking iPhone?

Hahaha. I wish he had his blog open to comments.


His "Contact" button is broken! *sobs*
 
2012-09-22 12:57:25 PM

Pocket Ninja: You're a coward, you're a tool, you're a speedbump.


1.bp.blogspot.com

"You're a brownie, you're a bluebird, you're a Girl Scout Cookie."
 
2012-09-22 01:00:38 PM

45cal: Jesus it is just a phone.


No no no, that rotary phone from back in the day was just a phone, this device....this ambrosia that was delivered to us mere mortals from the gods of Apple Inc, forged in the furnaces of Foxconn shall advance mankind to levels unknown.

Just think with this new IPhone you have the world in your hands as if you were Atlas himself!
 
2012-09-22 01:01:25 PM
i241.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-22 01:03:22 PM

Roook: [i241.photobucket.com image 454x345]


Well done, Sir.
 
2012-09-22 01:05:22 PM

I_Am_Weasel: So, I assume, this is what is called a first world problem?


Yeah, imagine if he had to make the damn thing. Or thousands of them.

I like a few Apple products myself. And I like unboxing them. But it's won't ruin my day, if a rep does it all for me, sets it up and let's me go through out my day ready to use the phone. I'm lazy enough to think that would be a customer service thing. And the thing about Apple, if some part broke out of the box or later, they just replace it. Once my ex girlfriend accidentally took the wrong charger, no biggie, they gave me a new one.
 
2012-09-22 01:05:31 PM
This article is infinitely more entertaining if you replace the word "iPhone" with "RealDoll."
 
2012-09-22 01:06:51 PM
images2.makefive.com
 
2012-09-22 01:07:00 PM

Lsherm: violentsalvation: I wonder if this is the same guy.

That's him.

He owed Apple almost $700,000 in restitution, how in the hell does he have enough money for a farking iPhone?


I think the better question is, how the hell did he even get there and where is he going to charge it?

In addition to all of the above, Woodhams was also forced to forfeit about $750,000 worth of ill-gotten gains, including a house in Michigan, an Audi S4, an Ariel Atom 2, a Honda motorcycle, and more than half a million dollars in cold, hard cash.
 
2012-09-22 01:08:44 PM
If I worked at AT&T I'd do that to every idiot who bought an iPhone.

If only to get this kind of butthurt:

I took a deep breath, and swallowed the lump in my throat. The sales rep then removed the Lightning USB cord from my box, peeled away the packaging, and stretched out my USB cord between his hands. I looked on, puzzled, as I could see several spare cords the manager had unpacked on the counter.

Then the AT&T rep proceeded to scatter the contents of my iPhone box all over the counter. He peeled off the front and back plastic covers from my iPhone and threw them in the trash. Then he sat the bare iPhone down on the table and pushed it toward his computer.
 
2012-09-22 01:09:01 PM

Pocket Ninja: So his experience was ruined, his morning shattered, his world rent asunder, and not once did he utter a peep to explain that he wanted things to be happening another way.


Thou shalt make no denigrating utterances against the priesthood in the temple! Turn over your tithe, accept your blessing and walk with Jobs, my son.

/so done with Apple
 
2012-09-22 01:10:48 PM

Pocket Ninja: So his experience was ruined, his morning shattered, his world rent asunder, and not once did he utter a peep to explain that he wanted things to be happening another way.


I'm sure he turned his steely gaze onto the cashier, and between gritted teeth growled "See you on my blog, mutherfarker"
 
2012-09-22 01:14:47 PM

Pocket Ninja: So his experience was ruined, his morning shattered, his world rent asunder, and not once did he utter a peep to explain that he wanted things to be happening another way.

If you are this utterly powerless, meek, and passive in your dealings with others, particularly around events that concern you, and then you go home and use your passivity and lack of action as the foundation for a later blog post declaiming how unfairly you have been treated, you are nothing but a passive-aggressive doormat. You're a coward, you're a tool, you're a speedbump. You deserve contempt and mockery. You belong, actually, on the Consumerist, where similarly cowering mobs of faint-hearted fawns can fan themselves and whimper together about the horrors of the darkest sides of humanity.


That is why when I go to the Apple store I wear only my jock strap and a Viking helmet. I alternate between a claymore and a scimitar as my weapon of choice. "I take no shiat from thee!! My iPhone cur, lest I blood eagle you on the customer service desk!!"
 
2012-09-22 01:18:01 PM

gaspode: Im a pretty un-apple kind of guy, but if I buy something completely new and very expensive and someone else takes it out of the box and farks about with it before I have checked the contents then he is changing it for a new one.

If he drops any part of it, charger or whatever, on the floor he is changing it for a new one.

Hell if anyone but me breaks the security seal on the pack he is changing it for a new one. Otherwise I have no way whatsoever of knowing it is a new unit.


The iPhone is not made whole and perfect by assembling its atoms to match a Star Trek replicator pattern. It's made of lots of parts assembled by hand. If you ever need service it's likely Apple could give you a refurbished unit (with new screen, enclosure, and battery) as the replacement. You may find this frustrating if you are particular about more than it being the right model, looking good, and working.
 
2012-09-22 01:20:35 PM

Pocket Ninja: So his experience was ruined, his morning shattered, his world rent asunder, and not once did he utter a peep to explain that he wanted things to be happening another way.

If you are this utterly powerless, meek, and passive in your dealings with others, particularly around events that concern you, and then you go home and use your passivity and lack of action as the foundation for a later blog post declaiming how unfairly you have been treated, you are nothing but a passive-aggressive doormat. You're a coward, you're a tool, you're a speedbump. You deserve contempt and mockery. You belong, actually, on the Consumerist, where similarly cowering mobs of faint-hearted fawns can fan themselves and whimper together about the horrors of the darkest sides of humanity.


You sir deserve all the interwebs in exsistance. Even that crazy Iranian one.
/bow
 
2012-09-22 01:21:39 PM

Roook: I'm sure he turned his steely gaze onto the cashier, and between gritted teeth growled "See you on my blog, mutherfarker"


goodcomics.comicbookresources.com
 
2012-09-22 01:21:56 PM
I suspect I'm sometimes more critical of Apple products than I otherwise would be, if only to compensate for the people who believe that they are literally magic.
 
2012-09-22 01:22:36 PM
Sprint employee here...

You know why we open the boxes for you? Because the average customer (particularly the average Sprint customer) is too stupid to activate the device themselves, and will come back more pissed off about it not working than you are because "WAAAA they opened it!" Not to mention the fact that if you don't unbrick and activate it properly, the data connection won't work unless we factory reset it (after taking additional time to back up the device to iTunes since you're too goddamn stupid to work a computer).

By the way, if you tell me to swap it for an unopened one, you'll be told, in the most polite, tactful, friendly way possible, to fark right off. Once they've been added to the account, they're used. Whether we open the box or not, that phone cannot be resold to another customer. I'm not taking the heat from corporate for replacing a perfectly good device (especially one with demand this high) just because you wanted to tear your own shrink wrap, crybaby.
 
2012-09-22 01:29:31 PM
Opening an Apple product is a religious experience.

OH HELL NO
 
2012-09-22 01:29:50 PM
Whoever wrote this, please kill yourself for the benefit of all mankind.
 
2012-09-22 01:39:19 PM
Can someone just give this guy a great big smack across the mouth? Not enough to really hurt him, but enough to get him to tear up a little.
 
2012-09-22 01:41:38 PM

poorjon: Can someone just give this guy a great big smack across the mouth? Not enough to really hurt him, but enough to get him to tear up a little.


Well if it's the same guy as the article linked up top, Apple gave him a right smacking across the face, twice. They sued him for around 1.5 million because he was scamming people on iPhone/iPod repairs and he spent some time in jail.

This guy must be a masochist to still be in love with them.
 
2012-09-22 01:43:13 PM
I guess it is to hard to say to the salesperson in a pleasant voice. "Hey, do you mind if I open that? I think its kind of cool to open new toys."
 
2012-09-22 01:43:30 PM
This is just ....I am not sure they even have a word for this....
 
2012-09-22 01:44:22 PM

scottydoesntknow: This guy must be a masochist to still be in love with them.


TFA said that opening an Apple product is a religious experience. He's like a guy who was buggered by a priest but is still a devout Catholic.
 
2012-09-22 01:49:35 PM
I wanted to enrich the experience of opening my own iPhone 5, and make it more special than it already would be

Way to go, dude. You overloaded my tool-ometer. Now I have to get a new one. I hope the sales rep doesn't take it out of the box first...
 
2012-09-22 01:52:07 PM
What a whiny little biatch...
 
2012-09-22 02:00:51 PM
This is the moment that I relized I will never own another Apple product ever again for fear of being associated with someone like that. Fear of getting whatever he has on my shoes, or even seeing it.


/posted from my macbook pro.
 
2012-09-22 02:01:51 PM
Because the launch of a new iPhone is the time to start tailoring the customer experience to the individual, not get people in and get them out again. It's cool, dude. You go ahead and have your little "experience" at the counter, there. Take as long as you want. There's nobody in line behind you. Your mom was right...you're a snowflake and the only person on the planet that matters.

What do you want to bet this dude gets flipped of while driving daily?
 
2012-09-22 02:03:13 PM
i1151.photobucket.com



/oblig
 
2012-09-22 02:03:50 PM
Flipped off, even.
 
2012-09-22 02:04:10 PM
Kill yourself you chicken shiat emo douchebag, avoid the rest of your miserable and painful existence.
 
2012-09-22 02:04:11 PM

scottydoesntknow:
Well if it's the same guy as the article linked up top, Apple gave him a right smacking across the face, twice. They sued him for around 1.5 million because he was scamming people on iPhone/iPod repairs and he spent some time in jail.


Yup. Looks like it is he same guy. And it looks like now he has a new company called "Please Return Me" that runs the same scam that got him sued and thrown in jail.
 
2012-09-22 02:05:43 PM

spelletrader: Kill yourself you chicken shiat emo douchebag, avoid the rest of your miserable and painful existence.


Yikes. Done with YouTube and Netflix reviews for the day?
 
2012-09-22 02:06:21 PM

Braggi: I guess it is to hard to say to the salesperson in a pleasant voice. "Hey, do you mind if I open that? I think its kind of cool to open new toys."


I think actually putting those thoughts into words would make the speaker realize just how low they have sunk.
 
2012-09-22 02:07:05 PM
Opening an Apple product is a religious experience.

So is circumcision, and like a bris, an intelligent person will not do it more than once.
 
2012-09-22 02:07:54 PM
White people's problems.
 
2012-09-22 02:08:35 PM
There's gonna be a goddamn war, and these people will be the first up against the wall.
 
2012-09-22 02:08:47 PM
This is why I never agreed with "the customer is always right". They seldom are and the more insistent they are the more wrong they are. This little biatch should never leave his parents house.
 
2012-09-22 02:08:50 PM

itsdan: Last year when I upgraded to the 4S I preordered it online, it was delivered to my house on release day, and was there when I got home. I followed the simple instructions to backup my old phone and activate my new one, and I was done.

Why the hell do people go to a store on release day?


For the experience.
 
2012-09-22 02:09:32 PM
i.chzbgr.com
 
2012-09-22 02:09:54 PM
Sweet zombie Jesus, that's the most punchable face I've ever seen.
 
2012-09-22 02:10:31 PM
What a pussy! I think this is the biggest douche in the universe.

Anyone not posting from their iPhone care to post an easy to view sized pic if this idiot?
 
2012-09-22 02:19:39 PM
I'm trying to imagine the circumstances under which subby found this post, I mean, I can't imagine finding it unless I personally knew the guy, or was very familiar with Apple's litigation history. Maybe Subby just stumbled across this guy's twitter one day and bookmarked him figuring it was only a matter of time before he wrote the most whiny douche blog post of all time.
 
2012-09-22 02:20:41 PM
Bleating iHaters ramble on and on and care far too much about basically nothing
 
2012-09-22 02:23:52 PM

Alphakronik: [i1151.photobucket.com image 530x473]



/oblig


#AppleRage
 
2012-09-22 02:27:54 PM

scottydoesntknow: poorjon: Can someone just give this guy a great big smack across the mouth? Not enough to really hurt him, but enough to get him to tear up a little.

Well if it's the same guy as the article linked up top, Apple gave him a right smacking across the face, twice. They sued him for around 1.5 million because he was scamming people on iPhone/iPod repairs and he spent some time in jail.

This guy must be a masochist to still be in love with them.


Exactly. He ripped them off to the tune of well over a million dollars and now he complaining they opened the box before he could? If the Apple store knew who he was they should have told him to fark off.
 
2012-09-22 02:28:18 PM
After reading that, I truly weep for our nation.
 
2012-09-22 02:28:20 PM
I actually felt dumber after having read that. It's just a frickin' phone, people. If the same level of passion was reserved for something a bit more, I dunno, beneficial to the betterment of humanity, we'd be better off.
 
2012-09-22 02:29:51 PM
Maybe he should have ordered it to be sent to his home instead of getting it in-store, since it's SOP for ANY mobile phone retailer to take it out of the box and make the first adjustments for you.
 
2012-09-22 02:34:32 PM

awfulperson: This article is infinitely more entertaining if you replace the word "iPhone" with "RealDoll."


I'm going to start doing that with every mention of iPhone going forward.
 
2012-09-22 02:40:57 PM
Apple users; this is why we make fun of you. This. It's not the stats / technical capabilities of your phones. It's THIS RIGHT HERE.
 
2012-09-22 02:41:46 PM

bingethinker: Bleating iHaters ramble on and on and care far too much about basically nothing


Bleating iHaters
Ramble on and on and care
Too much about zip

/close enough

//sorry
 
2012-09-22 02:44:55 PM

orclover: This is the moment that I relized I will never own another Apple product ever again for fear of being associated with someone like that. Fear of getting whatever he has on my shoes, or even seeing it.

/posted from my macbook pro.


That's the exact reason this sort of anti-Apple propaganda gets spread around. They're trying to bully you into not buying another Apple product. Your response should be to ignore the paid shills and brainwashed douchebags, and buy whatever you want.
 
2012-09-22 02:47:01 PM

Pocket Ninja: So his experience was ruined, his morning shattered, his world rent asunder, and not once did he utter a peep to explain that he wanted things to be happening another way.

If you are this utterly powerless, meek, and passive in your dealings with others, particularly around events that concern you, and then you go home and use your passivity and lack of action as the foundation for a later blog post declaiming how unfairly you have been treated, you are nothing but a passive-aggressive doormat. You're a coward, you're a tool, you're a speedbump. You deserve contempt and mockery. You belong, actually, on the Consumerist, where similarly cowering mobs of faint-hearted fawns can fan themselves and whimper together about the horrors of the darkest sides of humanity.


That's beautiful, man.
 
2012-09-22 02:48:50 PM

Satanic_Hamster: Apple users; this is why we make fun of you. This. It's not the stats / technical capabilities of your phones. It's THIS RIGHT HERE.


this
 
2012-09-22 02:51:24 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: awfulperson: This article is infinitely more entertaining if you replace the word "iPhone" with "RealDoll."

I'm going to start doing that with every mention of iPhone RealDolls going forward.


Good idea.

Opening a RealDoll isn't a religious experience. Using a RealDoll isn't even a religious experience. I have a RealDoll and enjoy it immensely, but people like this guy make me embarrassed to use it in public.
 
2012-09-22 02:52:00 PM
FTFA: "Opening an Apple product is a religious experience"

Wow. Some 12 year old packed that crap in a box and his opening and removing the contents is a religious experience? Just sad.

I understand the excitement of playing with a new gadget but the iPhone 5 is still an iPhone. Just faster and smaller and bigger and brighter. Still an iPhone.
 
2012-09-22 03:00:51 PM
I have an aquaintance (i wont say friend) like this. Nice guy, really, except when it comes to Apple products, then he's Fanboi #1.
 
2012-09-22 03:04:38 PM
3. The rep then encourages you to open your iPhone and shares in your excitement.

Are you farking kidding me?
 
2012-09-22 03:08:33 PM
i47.tinypic.com
 
2012-09-22 03:09:02 PM

Satanic_Hamster: Apple users; this is why we make fun of you. This. It's not the stats / technical capabilities of your phones. It's THIS RIGHT HERE.


I use both Apple and PC. It's the contrived Consumer Brand War that is ridiculous. And I've yet to meet anyone who actually takes the Apple vs. PC thing seriously. I mean, it's not like we're talking about cola choice here. That sh*t's serious business.
 
2012-09-22 03:10:19 PM
I felt like this sales rep had stolen from me.

This must be the guy the people over at The Consumerist complain about being too whiny.

3. The rep then encourages you to open your iPhone and shares in your excitement.

Oh for fark's sake, is this satire? Do people like this actually exist?
 
2012-09-22 03:12:24 PM
It's a farking phone. It's not an Oscar, Nobel Prize or blowjob from God Himself. There's no "experience", there's no sharing, there's just you and a goddamned cardboard box standing between you and your overpriced substandard electronics.

/sheltered man-child white people problems
 
2012-09-22 03:15:04 PM
There are many reasons not to choose Apple products as part of my own personal opinion.

Self-important douche's like that are the best reason to hate apple products.
 
2012-09-22 03:16:48 PM
I really want to push him into a locker and then take his lunch money.
 
2012-09-22 03:19:22 PM
You know, there was a time many, many moons ago when I might have written something like that. Not about the iPhone -they didn't exist back then- but I'd have found other things. Hell; at my worst stages of Mac-zealotry, I might even have written worse.

But even I never got so bad as to idolize opening the freaking box, or to piss and moan over a store employee not being as insane as I was. Is this what the Apple-zealots do nowadays? Have they gone this far off the deep end?
 
2012-09-22 03:19:31 PM

Marcus Aurelius: I wanted to enrich the experience of opening my own iPhone 5, and make it more special than it already would be

I'm pretty sure there are good medications on the market for this problem.


"Do you know what an iPhone 5 is?"

"Well, it's.."

"It's a phone. Just... a phone. Now why do guys like you and me know what an iPhone 5 is? Is this essential to our survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. What are we then?"

/the zombie apocalypse has been and gone, and the zombies shop Apple
 
2012-09-22 03:19:52 PM

Enemabag Jones: There are many reasons not to choose Apple products as part of my own personal opinion.

Self-important douche's like that are the best reason to hate apple products.



I don't know why the religious zealotry of their customer base should reflect poorly on the product. I use what works best for me in a particular situation, and that sometimes involves Apple products (I prefer an iMac at work because it interfaces with linux clusters more seamlessly, but I have a PC at home for gaming).

However, I now have a new sense of sympathy toward the everyday guy who has the utter misfortune of having a job at an Apple store. Jesus tap-dancing Christ on a cracker. I'd get fired in the first 15 minutes after punching one of these pinch-faced children.
 
2012-09-22 03:22:13 PM

StingerJ: Opening a RealDoll isn't a religious experience. Using a RealDoll isn't even a religious experience. I have a RealDoll and enjoy it immensely, but people like this guy make me embarrassed to use it in public.


Man up and use what's best for you. Haters gonna hate.
 
2012-09-22 03:23:43 PM
My twitter account is basically a ghost, but I did log in just for this guy. I encourage you to do the same. He needs laughed at, toughen him up.
 
2012-09-22 03:25:02 PM

swaxhog: itsdan: Last year when I upgraded to the 4S I preordered it online, it was delivered to my house on release day, and was there when I got home. I followed the simple instructions to backup my old phone and activate my new one, and I was done.

Why the hell do people go to a store on release day?

Because this year, the online store sold out in minutes and then had 3-5 weeks delivery dates. So in a twist, on Friday most stores had piles of them in stock and all the people who pre-ordered where gnashing their teeth because their phone was still on a boat from China and the store wouldn't let them cancel their pre-order and buy in store.


So they have to wait a whole month. BFD.

Oh, never mind, we're talking about smartphones, the spartphone technology advance is so rapid that you have to throw away your phone every two weeks.
 
2012-09-22 03:26:04 PM

LouDobbsAwaaaay: However, I now have a new sense of sympathy toward the everyday guy who has the utter misfortune of having a job at an Apple store. Jesus tap-dancing Christ on a cracker. I'd get fired in the first 15 minutes after punching one of these pinch-faced children.


One would think this guy is not very popular with the pinch faced children. He went to an AT&T store to buy his iPhone. He is a traitor!
 
2012-09-22 03:26:12 PM
i49.tinypic.com
 
2012-09-22 03:27:03 PM
imageshack.us
 
2012-09-22 03:28:08 PM

Mister Peejay: spartphone


profile.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2012-09-22 03:33:35 PM

inflatedKarma: if he is this excited about opening his iPhone, imagine how giddy he will be the first time he has sex.


I look forward to his blog.

I was invited into the brothel this morning, after a long wait, to purchase my hooker. I avoided looking at the display model hookers on the way in, and averted my gaze from everyone elses hookers. I wanted to enrich the experience of screwing my own hooker, and make it more special than it already would be. The pimp retrieved the hooker I requested...

Then he then proceeded to screw the hooker himself, with his back to me.
 
2012-09-22 03:36:51 PM
Reduce your online exposure.

Link

inflatedKarma: if he is this excited about opening his iPhone, imagine how giddy he will be the first time he has sex.
This guy probably did OK with women. Women say they like men with a sense of humor.
 
2012-09-22 03:37:45 PM
Sleazy_as_Pie: By the way, if you tell me to swap it for an unopened one, you'll be told, in the most polite, tactful, friendly way possible, to fark right off... I'm not taking the heat from corporate for replacing a perfectly good device (especially one with demand this high) just because you wanted to tear your own shrink wrap, crybaby.

Then we'll take it up with your $11 an hour boss, tough guy. Congratulations on being the only person in this thread to come across as more of a dick than the dick the article was about.
 
2012-09-22 03:56:31 PM
I predict this thread will be entering epic territory momentarily.
 
2012-09-22 04:13:06 PM
Opening an Apple product is a religious experience

Idiot.
 
2012-09-22 04:21:42 PM

Marcus Aurelius: I wanted to enrich the experience of opening my own iPhone 5, and make it more special than it already would be

I'm pretty sure there are good medications on the market for this problem.


I'd suggest starting with cyanide. Cyanide is medicine, right?
 
2012-09-22 04:23:59 PM
Is this the biatching thread for the map apps on iOS6? God is it truly bad.
 
2012-09-22 04:25:34 PM
This was my experience buying my first smart phone. I had driven my mother 100 miles to Las Vegas to get a spinal tap. While we were in the medical building, there was a major downpour, that closed the entrance to the freeway that I was familiar with, so I got lost. In trying to find another freeway entrance, I passed a RadioShack.

I backtracked and ran into the store, and a young girl asked if she could help me. I asked her if she could sell me a (brand X) phone in 15 minutes, as I had my mother in pain and wanted to get her home. She trotted down the line of accessories, unwrapping them as she went, got to the counter, made a phone call, activated the phone, explained how to use it, and set up the GPS so I could figure out how to get back to the freeway, all in 11 minutes.

This was my first and only happy visit to a RadioShack. I was so impressed, I wrote their headquarters.
 
2012-09-22 04:26:39 PM
5. He uses a spare USB cable, and leaves yours in the box, factory wrapped.

Granted it doesn't say wheter or not the (proably already disgruntled at having to deal with such assclowns) sales rep uses it, but here's a ridiculous idea... maybe he's seeing if the stupid thing actually works?
 
2012-09-22 04:28:18 PM
holy crap that guy needs a swift kick to the vagina
 
2012-09-22 04:37:08 PM
3 guys I work with waited overnight, or at least from early morning hours to get their phones at an Apple Store.

Guy that sits next to me left at 11, went to Radio Shack, got one, got lunch, made it back in under an hour.

I had a similar experience with my 4S at Verizon. Apple Store was sold out and back ordered or some crap for weeks. My DroidX broke so I went to Verizon store to find a new phone, 4S in stock.

Apple has the market cornered on people thinking they can only get Apple products at Apple stores.
 
2012-09-22 04:39:19 PM
Actually from what I remember when I got my iphone 4 from the AT&T store a couple of years ago the hot latino lady opened the box for me and made sure it was activated and ready to go. Of course I didn't mind since she put out and I wasn't concentrating on the box so much.
 
2012-09-22 04:49:09 PM

roflmaonow: Actually from what I remember when I got my iphone 4 from the AT&T store a couple of years ago the hot latino lady opened the box for me and made sure it was activated and ready to go. Of course I didn't mind since she put out and I wasn't concentrating on the box so much.


Which box?
 
2012-09-22 04:56:21 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: roflmaonow: Actually from what I remember when I got my iphone 4 from the AT&T store a couple of years ago the hot latino lady opened the box for me and made sure it was activated and ready to go. Of course I didn't mind since she put out and I wasn't concentrating on the box so much.

Which box?


Exactly.
 
2012-09-22 04:59:05 PM

Barricaded Gunman: Sleazy_as_Pie: By the way, if you tell me to swap it for an unopened one, you'll be told, in the most polite, tactful, friendly way possible, to fark right off... I'm not taking the heat from corporate for replacing a perfectly good device (especially one with demand this high) just because you wanted to tear your own shrink wrap, crybaby.

Then we'll take it up with your $11 an hour boss, tough guy. Congratulations on being the only person in this thread to come across as more of a dick than the dick the article was about.


Agree...as a Sprint customer, I almost wanna come in to where you work to just fark with you.
 
2012-09-22 05:25:48 PM

roflmaonow: Is this the biatching thread for the map apps on iOS6? God is it truly bad.


img221.imageshack.us

Should be.
 
2012-09-22 05:40:17 PM
As an android user, I feel like this article is an absolutely worthless waste of everyone's time.
I don't care that this child didn't get what he wanted - and I'm pretty sure apple users don't give a fark either.
 
2012-09-22 05:51:16 PM
I couldn't resist sending this kid the following email:

I just finished reading your Sep. 21st blog post about getting your iPhone 5, and when you wrote :Opening an Apple product is a religious experience. It's one of the best things about the first day with your shiny new device. He took that from me." all I could think was "Seriously dude? A 'religious' experience? How lame and shallow is your life and exactly how much of a looser are you that to you unboxing some piece of iCrap ranks up there with touching the divine? Did Steve Jobs have a restraining order against you because you kept stalking him and offering to blow him? I bet he did."
 
2012-09-22 06:01:30 PM
I...I just don't know what to say. Apple's marketing department must be creaming themselves over this kind of enthusiasm.
That said, I've owned several iThings. One of which I've revived after a large coffee was spilled across the keyboard. So yeah...Apple gets props from me on that. But all this for a consumer electronic that could get you mugged & killed, or mocked relentlessly on Fark? I'm ashamed to share a species with this oxygen thief.
 
2012-09-22 06:06:45 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i49.tinypic.com image 800x597]


+1
 
2012-09-22 06:09:47 PM
This reminds me- I was watched the ceremony where SSG Sal Giunta received the Medal of Honor from Pres. Obama. Obama TOTALLY RUINED the experience for Giunta. He picked it up out of the box and fastened it around Giunta's neck. The guy got Democrat cooties all over it and didn't even give Giunta the chance to take it out of the box. Obama totally ruined this nation's highest military honor and I hope Giunta asks for another one.
 
2012-09-22 06:16:33 PM
... and this, my friends, is why I refuse to touch anything Apple. The technology is OK, but the lawyers and users are complete wastes of oxygen.
 
2012-09-22 06:25:32 PM

Nem Wan:

The iPhone is not made whole and perfect by assembling its atoms to match a Star Trek replicator pattern. It's made of lots of parts assembled by hand. If you ever need service it's likely Apple could give you a refurbished unit (with new screen, enclosure, and battery) as the replacement. You may find this frustrating if you are particular about more than it being the right model, looking good, and working.


I'm fully aware of the above, but If I pay the premium for a NEW example of a device (and I don't buy apple at all by the way) then I expect it factory sealed in my hand, as I completely do not ever trust the supply chain not to pull shiat like giving me a refurb or losing some part or dropping it. Factory systems are on the whole systematic and reliable, stores and teenage douchebags in them are not.

I also do not take refurbs on any service if my legal rights dont require me to (here they almost never do). By insisting on this and making it clear I do know the difference I have avoided a number of common problems with returns, for instance not receiving a refurb xbox 360 for my nephew when his packed up a month in). Really, it makes a difference, your refurb is usually a unit that went wrong already and got 'fixed'. This is not a good thing.
 
2012-09-22 06:26:54 PM

I_Am_Weasel: So, I assume, this is what is called a first world problem?


I think these problems are for a younger person, no?
 
2012-09-22 06:28:18 PM
It reminds me of BullBearMS finding out that the IPhone5 8hr talk time wasnt actually better than the Razr Maxx's 21Hrs. Apparently we ruined his life.
 
2012-09-22 06:28:45 PM

Sleazy_as_Pie:
By the way, if you tell me to swap it for an unopened one, you'll be told, in the most polite, tactful, friendly way possible, to fark right off.


Dont worry, I am very polite and organised and would not let you get as far as opening it then be a dick. If you INSISTED on messing with it after I asked you not to then yeah Ill be a douchebag back at you, but being asked as soon as you pick the unit up to give it to me sealed and I will set it up myself is not unreasonable.
 
2012-09-22 06:39:06 PM

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: ... and this, my friends, is why I refuse to touch anything Apple. The technology is OK, but the lawyers and users are complete wastes of oxygen.


The lawyers are doing what lawyers do. Happens in every field.
Not all the users are morons. I come down pretty heavy on Apple fanboys, and I use a few Apple products.
Ok, maybe I'm a bit of a moron sometimes; but you'll never find me worshiping at the iAlter.
 
2012-09-22 06:40:43 PM
Oh, for fark's sake. What a douchenozzel.
 
2012-09-22 06:56:28 PM
A) It's probably satire.
2) I thought it would be a legitimate concern about a clerk switching a display model for the one in the box (for some reason)
III) If it's real this derper is derp.

/The service during my one visit to an Apple store (Chicago) was probably the best I have ever experienced. Knowledgeable staff, saff had integrated iPhone communication at every level from stocking to purchase. In and out in 10 minutes, tops.
//Some experiences may differ.
 
2012-09-22 06:59:49 PM
First off, i I am buying small electronics, I will unbox them and power them on and make sure they work, as a little preventive medicine.

And no matter how well you think you now your phone, you could jack it up, because you can use itunes does not make you an electronics genius.

I work at ATT and take escalations and have been working 12 hour days because of the iphone 5.

90 percent of apple users are pretentious dbags. I have never seen such entitlement.

"If I do not get my 15 year old an I5 this weekend, she says she will run away, you want that on your hands?" This was told to me.

Or the people with iphones only six months in contract, wanting the upgrade price. "I have been with your company 2 years, I expect you to make me happy"

Or the people who do not make back ups to the cloud or on their own computers. Tons of people take them in our stores and expect our employees to do it...
 
2012-09-22 07:40:58 PM

Sleazy_as_Pie: Sprint employee here...

You know why we open the boxes for you? Because the average customer (particularly the average Sprint customer) is too stupid to activate the device themselves, and will come back more pissed off about it not working than you are because "WAAAA they opened it!" Not to mention the fact that if you don't unbrick and activate it properly, the data connection won't work unless we factory reset it (after taking additional time to back up the device to iTunes since you're too goddamn stupid to work a computer).

By the way, if you tell me to swap it for an unopened one, you'll be told, in the most polite, tactful, friendly way possible, to fark right off. Once they've been added to the account, they're used. Whether we open the box or not, that phone cannot be resold to another customer. I'm not taking the heat from corporate for replacing a perfectly good device (especially one with demand this high) just because you wanted to tear your own shrink wrap, crybaby.


Makes sense, I also figured with release runs of over demanded stuff they would be checking for defects, so they could catch them BEFORE the customer leaves, and has to come back and be told that you are out and they will have to wait foe a replacement.

Ya know actually customer service.
 
2012-09-22 07:51:46 PM

Satanic_Hamster: Apple users; this is why we make fun of you. This. It's not the stats / technical capabilities of your phones. It's THIS RIGHT HERE.


No, I always make fun of the iPhone's technical capabilities, too. It's factory crippled because Saint Jobs didn't want anybody farking with his precious piece of art, or sharing an mp3 with a friend. 3 words: control freak dickbag.

/posted from my GS3 w/cyanogenmod.
 
2012-09-22 07:56:06 PM
In all fairness to the douchenozzle blogger, I don't generally like people handling my new toys until I've had a chance to play with them.

The last time I was at a phone store the rep asked if I wanted him to set up the phone for me. That seems like a simple solution; just ask first.
 
2012-09-22 07:58:30 PM
He is just pissed that the sales guy played just the tip with his new iGirl.
 
2012-09-22 08:07:50 PM
Every phone I owned, I buy it, open it, put in the sim card, turn it on, and it works.
Does the iPhone somehow required more than that?
 
2012-09-22 08:10:38 PM

awfulperson: This article is infinitely more entertaining if you replace the word "iPhone" with "RealDoll."


I was invited into the store this morning, after a long wait, to purchase my RealDoll 5. I avoided looking at the display model RealDolls on the way in, and averted my gaze from everyone elses RealDolls. I wanted to enrich the experience of opening my own RealDoll 5, and make it more special than it already would be. The sales rep retrieved the RealDoll I requested... 
Then he then proceeded to open the RealDoll himself, with his back to me.

My stomach sank. Opening an Apple product is a religious experience. It's one of the best things about the first day with your shiny new device. He took that from me. I felt like this sales rep had stolen from me. They were stealing from everyone. No one was opening their new RealDoll. Is it not supposed to be special anymore? Then why does Apple continue to spend 3, 5, or 10 times as much on packaging and presentation as other companies?
I took a deep breath, and swallowed the lump in my throat. The sales rep then removed the Lightning USB cord from my box, peeled away the packaging, and stretched out my USB cord between his hands. I looked on, puzzled, as I could see several spare cords the manager had unpacked on the counter. 
Then the rep proceeded to scatter the contents of my RealDoll box all over the counter. He peeled off the front and back plastic covers from my RealDoll and threw them in the trash. Then he sat the bare RealDoll down on the table and pushed it toward his computer.
I can't believe what I am seeing, and I feel incapacitated to do anything about it. I had been awake all night waiting outside, and I didn't really have the energy to say anything.
Finally he was able to set up my new RealDoll, then the rep grabs my RealDoll box from the counter and tips it so that my charger falls on the ground. He doesn't even notice that he's lost the charger. He hands me my RealDoll box with my USB cord haphazardly mashed in the box.
I had to tell him that he dropped the charger on the ground, and he says "good catch." Yeah...OK. Then I open the box, only to realize that the top tray, manual, stickers, and top part of the box are completely missing. I had to ask for them to be returned. 
I finally walk out of the store with my RealDoll, and I can tell you unequivocally that they ruined my first impression with the RealDoll 5. Having used the RealDoll now for several hours, I love it.. but the way that handled the launch today was a travesty. 
Here's how they should have handled it. 
1. You request the RealDoll you want
2. The rep retrieves the RealDoll and hands it to you to check. 
3. The rep then encourages you to open your RealDoll and shares in your excitement. 
4. Once the RealDoll is open, the rep then respectfully asks to take the RealDoll and goes about his business. He leaves the protective covers on the RealDoll, and lets you take them off at your own will. 
5. He uses a spare USB cable, and leaves yours in the box, factory wrapped. 
6. When your RealDoll is activated and the you're is ready to go, the rep thanks you for your business, and wishes you the best with your new device.
That's how I wish it would've gone.
 
2012-09-22 08:16:43 PM

oMaJoJ: 3. The rep then encourages you to open your RealDoll and shares in your excitement.


But who goes first, you or the rep?
 
2012-09-22 08:22:18 PM
As a cell phone sales rep, I am loving the fark out of this. One of the best parts of my job is getting to peel that plastic off the faces of new phones every day. Also, in case this farker didn't know, iPhone launches are designed on the sales side to be as swift as possible. We're not going to let every douche with a blog sit there and record their own unboxing videos and jerk off over the packaging. There are 50 other people waiting to get their phones. Take yours and move along.
 
2012-09-22 08:22:43 PM
That's it.

Just because of this I am going to take a trip to the Apple store with a small speaker hidden in my pocket and play the default iphone text message sound loudly every few minutes so I can get every wanker in the place digging their phones out at the same time.
 
2012-09-22 08:38:46 PM

woodstock827: Every phone I owned, I buy it, open it, put in the sim card, turn it on, and it works.
Does the iPhone somehow required more than that?


It does. It requires activation either through wifi or a connection to itunes.

I found out about this when my father bought an iphone 3gs a few months ago. I set it up. The wifi activation didn't work. Fine. He had itunes on his mac. I plugged it in and it refused to activate without the latest version of itunes.

Fine. It's a free download. So i updated it and it refused to install without a newer version of OSX. Which, of course, is not free.

I was livid. To use his Apple phone with his Apple computer he needed to buy an OS upgrade from Apple to run another piece of Apple software, for no good reason at all. Fortunately I have a PC with Windows which was happy to install itunes and set the phone up without a problem and without sending Apple money for anything.
 
2012-09-22 08:41:11 PM

Mitt Romneys Tax Return: oMaJoJ: 3. The rep then encourages you to open your RealDoll and shares in your excitement.

But who goes first, you or the rep?


Well, one would think you're supposed to go first while he cheers you on, but the decent thing to do would be to spitroast the thing.
 
2012-09-22 09:01:44 PM
If unwrapping a phone is a "religious" experience for you, you need professional help.
 
2012-09-22 09:02:01 PM

Gordon Bennett: woodstock827: Every phone I owned, I buy it, open it, put in the sim card, turn it on, and it works.
Does the iPhone somehow required more than that?

It does. It requires activation either through wifi or a connection to itunes.

I found out about this when my father bought an iphone 3gs a few months ago. I set it up. The wifi activation didn't work. Fine. He had itunes on his mac. I plugged it in and it refused to activate without the latest version of itunes.

Fine. It's a free download. So i updated it and it refused to install without a newer version of OSX. Which, of course, is not free.

I was livid. To use his Apple phone with his Apple computer he needed to buy an OS upgrade from Apple to run another piece of Apple software, for no good reason at all. Fortunately I have a PC with Windows which was happy to install itunes and set the phone up without a problem and without sending Apple money for anything.


I thought giving money to saint jobs was kinda the point. You need to step up the iBot thinking. Next time update the OS and use it to buy an iPod for your niece or something first. The phone should activate fine then.

That's what my boss did and it worked great. My palm is still stuck to my forehead.
 
2012-09-22 09:03:24 PM

Gordon Bennett: woodstock827: Every phone I owned, I buy it, open it, put in the sim card, turn it on, and it works.
Does the iPhone somehow required more than that?

It does. It requires activation either through wifi or a connection to itunes.

I found out about this when my father bought an iphone 3gs a few months ago. I set it up. The wifi activation didn't work. Fine. He had itunes on his mac. I plugged it in and it refused to activate without the latest version of itunes.

Fine. It's a free download. So i updated it and it refused to install without a newer version of OSX. Which, of course, is not free.

I was livid. To use his Apple phone with his Apple computer he needed to buy an OS upgrade from Apple to run another piece of Apple software, for no good reason at all. Fortunately I have a PC with Windows which was happy to install itunes and set the phone up without a problem and without sending Apple money for anything.


The newer iPhones can activate over the air, but still require a factory reset to complete their activations, which puts them around 3-4 years behind current Android devices in that regard.
 
2012-09-22 09:06:56 PM

Leishu: Gordon Bennett: woodstock827: Every phone I owned, I buy it, open it, put in the sim card, turn it on, and it works.
Does the iPhone somehow required more than that?

It does. It requires activation either through wifi or a connection to itunes.

I found out about this when my father bought an iphone 3gs a few months ago. I set it up. The wifi activation didn't work. Fine. He had itunes on his mac. I plugged it in and it refused to activate without the latest version of itunes.

Fine. It's a free download. So i updated it and it refused to install without a newer version of OSX. Which, of course, is not free.

I was livid. To use his Apple phone with his Apple computer he needed to buy an OS upgrade from Apple to run another piece of Apple software, for no good reason at all. Fortunately I have a PC with Windows which was happy to install itunes and set the phone up without a problem and without sending Apple money for anything.

The newer iPhones can activate over the air, but still require a factory reset to complete their activations, which puts them around 3-4 years behind current Android devices in that regard.


I am not an apple fan, but I do work for ATT, and they activate over the air just fine without a factory reset needed for completion.
 
2012-09-22 09:09:40 PM
I can understand being annoyed about the removal of the protective plastic, USB cords when there's community ones to use and forgetting to give back the important stuff that came in the box.

But what did he expect? The AT&T guy to stroke him off while he slowly undressed the box and gently slid his fingers inside to pop the box open?
 
2012-09-22 09:12:35 PM

911Jenny: I can understand being annoyed about the removal of the protective plastic, USB cords when there's community ones to use and forgetting to give back the important stuff that came in the box.

But what did he expect? The AT&T guy to stroke him off while he slowly undressed the box and gently slid his fingers inside to pop the box open?


...maybe
 
2012-09-22 09:13:47 PM
The fact that you feel the need to ask that question shows you don't fully understand the experience of buying in store on day one.
 
2012-09-22 09:19:47 PM

45cal: Wow that article was so douchy I almost could smell the vinegar. Jesus it is just a phone.


The Jesus Phone?
 
2012-09-22 09:19:54 PM
I want to hear James Lipton read this blog post out loud.

"I was invited... NAY GRACED BY THE GREATER GLORY THAT IS THE APPLE EXPERIENCE... into the AT&T store, MY CHURCH OF CHURCHES, this morning, after a long wait THAT SPANNED EONS, to purchase my iPhone 5."
 
2012-09-22 09:20:13 PM

theflatline: Leishu: Gordon Bennett: woodstock827: Every phone I owned, I buy it, open it, put in the sim card, turn it on, and it works.
Does the iPhone somehow required more than that?

It does. It requires activation either through wifi or a connection to itunes.

I found out about this when my father bought an iphone 3gs a few months ago. I set it up. The wifi activation didn't work. Fine. He had itunes on his mac. I plugged it in and it refused to activate without the latest version of itunes.

Fine. It's a free download. So i updated it and it refused to install without a newer version of OSX. Which, of course, is not free.

I was livid. To use his Apple phone with his Apple computer he needed to buy an OS upgrade from Apple to run another piece of Apple software, for no good reason at all. Fortunately I have a PC with Windows which was happy to install itunes and set the phone up without a problem and without sending Apple money for anything.

The newer iPhones can activate over the air, but still require a factory reset to complete their activations, which puts them around 3-4 years behind current Android devices in that regard.

I am not an apple fan, but I do work for ATT, and they activate over the air just fine without a factory reset needed for completion.


Sorry. I missed a step. "To change their programming" is what I meant. That is, to say, to reactivate on a phone number different than the one they currently have.
 
2012-09-22 09:28:44 PM
Oh suck it Droidtards.
 
2012-09-22 09:28:53 PM
Though, perhaps that's different for ATT too. On Sprint/VZ devices, if you do that, the phone number will change with a programming dump, but data connectivity will not be established without a factory reset.
 
2012-09-22 09:38:24 PM
He could have had it shipped. Then he would have had it all to himself.
 
2012-09-22 09:53:14 PM
With all due respect to the somewhat reasonable ridicule of this guy, I do find I get a much better resale price when I have all the original box contents including the plastic coverings.
 
2012-09-22 10:18:08 PM

TheTrashcanMan: Oh suck it Droidtards.


i.qkme.me
 
2012-09-22 10:21:41 PM

elvisaintdead: He went full douche. You NEVER go full douche.

jeebus, what a farking crybaby weener.


Heh. After I read that blog post, I muttered out loud "what a weener".
 
2012-09-22 10:48:10 PM
This is somehow Samsung's fault.
 
2012-09-22 11:15:36 PM

StingerJ: The My Little Pony Killer: awfulperson: This article is infinitely more entertaining if you replace the word "iPhone" with "RealDoll."

I'm going to start doing that with every mention of iPhone RealDolls going forward.

Good idea.

Opening a RealDoll isn't a religious experience. Using a RealDoll isn't even a religious experience. I have a RealDoll and enjoy it immensely, but people like this guy make me embarrassed to use it in public.


i690.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-22 11:51:10 PM

As someone who has been using Apple computers since the early '80s, but who is capable of recognizing them as tools, and not as objects of religious worship, I'd just like to say...


img152.imageshack.us

i.imgur.com

lh6.ggpht.com

img90.imageshack.us

And a big...

img155.imageshack.us
 
2012-09-22 11:52:58 PM

Pocket Ninja: So his experience was ruined, his morning shattered, his world rent asunder, and not once did he utter a peep to explain that he wanted things to be happening another way.

If you are this utterly powerless, meek, and passive in your dealings with others, particularly around events that concern you, and then you go home and use your passivity and lack of action as the foundation for a later blog post declaiming how unfairly you have been treated, you are nothing but a passive-aggressive doormat. You're a coward, you're a tool, you're a speedbump. You deserve contempt and mockery. You belong, actually, on the Consumerist, where similarly cowering mobs of faint-hearted fawns can fan themselves and whimper together about the horrors of the darkest sides of humanity.

 

i265.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-23 12:09:33 AM

Leishu: theflatline: Leishu: Gordon Bennett: woodstock827: Every phone I owned, I buy it, open it, put in the sim card, turn it on, and it works.
Does the iPhone somehow required more than that?

It does. It requires activation either through wifi or a connection to itunes.

I found out about this when my father bought an iphone 3gs a few months ago. I set it up. The wifi activation didn't work. Fine. He had itunes on his mac. I plugged it in and it refused to activate without the latest version of itunes.

Fine. It's a free download. So i updated it and it refused to install without a newer version of OSX. Which, of course, is not free.

I was livid. To use his Apple phone with his Apple computer he needed to buy an OS upgrade from Apple to run another piece of Apple software, for no good reason at all. Fortunately I have a PC with Windows which was happy to install itunes and set the phone up without a problem and without sending Apple money for anything.

The newer iPhones can activate over the air, but still require a factory reset to complete their activations, which puts them around 3-4 years behind current Android devices in that regard.

I am not an apple fan, but I do work for ATT, and they activate over the air just fine without a factory reset needed for completion.

Sorry. I missed a step. "To change their programming" is what I meant. That is, to say, to reactivate on a phone number different than the one they currently have.


Thats actually a big fat lie as well. You can get into an iphone with out even having to activate it, as long as your information is good on ATT's side for what SIM card you are using you can toss the SIM into any phone, even an iPhone and be off. The way you can skip the activation on the iphone is to hook it to your WIFI, and when it asks for iTunes registration, just hit "Skip this step" in the bottom right of the screen and it will let you move on right to the home screen.

How do I know this you say? Because I manage over 1000 iphones for a corporation and I have to do this stuff day in and day out. the iphone is not my most favorite device in the world, it was at one time but the OS has become very stale and stopped moving forward since about iOS4, but it works great in our business environment and for our users who need something basic. I can't even imagine trying to support that many android phones I would pull my hair out because people would overload them with so much BS they would never work right.

Right now for me 4.1.1 Jelly Bean on my Nexus is probably the best OS around for mobile devices, the way it handles notifications and other aspects is leaps and bounds past Apple's moronic rules and restrictions in their iOS environment. Their new rule that apps have to be contained and can't cross talk is beyond moronic especially for business apps. Also the fact that they still do not have an "out of office option" (hello blackberry has had this since day one) and no option to attach documents to the same email from someone just makes me shake my head. So so dumb and old school.
 
2012-09-23 12:12:13 AM

Leishu: Though, perhaps that's different for ATT too. On Sprint/VZ devices, if you do that, the phone number will change with a programming dump, but data connectivity will not be established without a factory reset.


Programming only comes into play on old EVDO/CDMA devices when you have to use the ESN, on Verizon since they are on 4G now once you move up to one you authenticate on the SIM Card/ UCCID level which means you can toss your sim around from 4G Phone to 4G MIFI all day long and they don't give a crap. I probably have 10 devices at any one time and tossing around 4G cards is easy and quick.
 
2012-09-23 12:37:06 AM

Shostie: There's a part of me that really wants this to be a troll, but looking at the dude's Twitter feed... Man...



He looks like a douchier King Joffrey.


I wonder if we can hire the guy who played Tyrion to slap the shiat out of him
 
2012-09-23 12:49:12 AM

oMaJoJ: 3. The rep then encourages you to open your phone and shares in your excitement.


This is the part of the blog that just makes me face palm. Why would they share in your excitement? Is you getting a phone exciting for them? Is it more exciting than the 100 that came before you and the 100's that are (being held up) in line while you are taking your sweet time. These aren't people getting a significant (or any) commission on this purchase, these are people whose lives are currently hell because of the very thing you are buying.
 
2012-09-23 12:59:16 AM
This is about a phone, right? A thing that makes phone calls...

A phone.

That kid must really like talking on the phone or something.
 
2012-09-23 01:32:21 AM

TheGhostofFarkPast: Leishu: Though, perhaps that's different for ATT too. On Sprint/VZ devices, if you do that, the phone number will change with a programming dump, but data connectivity will not be established without a factory reset.

Programming only comes into play on old EVDO/CDMA devices when you have to use the ESN, on Verizon since they are on 4G now once you move up to one you authenticate on the SIM Card/ UCCID level which means you can toss your sim around from 4G Phone to 4G MIFI all day long and they don't give a crap. I probably have 10 devices at any one time and tossing around 4G cards is easy and quick.


Even LTE devices still need the CDMA ESN for voice services and 3G data services, It is most definitely not a "big fat lie."
 
2012-09-23 03:46:12 AM

Leishu: TheGhostofFarkPast: Leishu: Though, perhaps that's different for ATT too. On Sprint/VZ devices, if you do that, the phone number will change with a programming dump, but data connectivity will not be established without a factory reset.

Programming only comes into play on old EVDO/CDMA devices when you have to use the ESN, on Verizon since they are on 4G now once you move up to one you authenticate on the SIM Card/ UCCID level which means you can toss your sim around from 4G Phone to 4G MIFI all day long and they don't give a crap. I probably have 10 devices at any one time and tossing around 4G cards is easy and quick.

Even LTE devices still need the CDMA ESN for voice services and 3G data services, It is most definitely not a "big fat lie."


They do use CDMA for voice but programming does not need to be done on CDMA like it did before. You can on Verizon literally toss the sim from phone to phone and it would work perfectly fine, there is no more *228 to program your phone anymore once you move up to 4G. I do it daily when I flip around phones so trust me you do not have to do any CDMA registration with Verizon to get it to work.
 
2012-09-23 04:31:46 AM

TheTrashcanMan: Oh suck it Droidtards.


Fair enough. If you can email me a document from your iPhone explaining how.
 
2012-09-23 07:27:30 AM
I got my iPhone 4 a year and a half ago from Best Buy (yeah, yeah, I know), and the employee unboxed it for me. Did I throw a hissy fit? Was my heart in my throat? Hell no, it's a goddamn phone, and one with a high likelyhood of being broken. The only upside for me was that it had a better antenna than my blackberry and wasn't on T-Mobile. I was mildly amused at the shiatty oh look at how the box slowly slides apart display the guy at the desk did, but no cherubs descended from the sky to regale me with a heavenly choir as the phone was revealed. I gave him my crappy blackberry to transfer over my contacts and resell, he shoved the paperwork and iPhone into a bag and handed me back my credit card and driver's license, and from that day forward I have always been aware of AT&T breathing down my neck. I have to go through Apple's stupid overly-engineered box every time I need to grab the paperwork that came with the phone.

Contract doesn't expire until next year. Battery's already starting to exhibit memory effect.
 
2012-09-23 07:59:44 AM

Sleazy_as_Pie: Sprint employee here...

You know why we open the boxes for you? Because the average customer (particularly the average Sprint customer) is too stupid to activate the device themselves, and will come back more pissed off about it not working than you are because "WAAAA they opened it!" Not to mention the fact that if you don't unbrick and activate it properly, the data connection won't work unless we factory reset it (after taking additional time to back up the device to iTunes since you're too goddamn stupid to work a computer).

By the way, if you tell me to swap it for an unopened one, you'll be told, in the most polite, tactful, friendly way possible, to fark right off. Once they've been added to the account, they're used. Whether we open the box or not, that phone cannot be resold to another customer. I'm not taking the heat from corporate for replacing a perfectly good device (especially one with demand this high) just because you wanted to tear your own shrink wrap, crybaby.


I like your style dude.

/former Verizon salesman
 
2012-09-23 10:37:50 AM

Shostie: There's a part of me that really wants this to be a troll, but looking at the dude's Twitter feed... Man...

[pics.campl.us image 800x597]

He looks like a douchier King Joffrey.


You know? I have absolutely no idea what the gender of that person is physically or mentally.

It is now, this very moment in time, that (after some nearly 60 years on this planet) I'm forced to admit that I'm old. I didn't click the link or read the article (of course) but I am, frankly, quite displeased by this most recent self awareness. You should be ashamed and I should commence to yelling at clouds. Damned clouds.
 
2012-09-23 10:46:22 AM

Avery614: Pocket Ninja: So his experience was ruined, his morning shattered, his world rent asunder, and not once did he utter a peep to explain that he wanted things to be happening another way.

If you are this utterly powerless, meek, and passive in your dealings with others, particularly around events that concern you, and then you go home and use your passivity and lack of action as the foundation for a later blog post declaiming how unfairly you have been treated, you are nothing but a passive-aggressive doormat. You're a coward, you're a tool, you're a speedbump. You deserve contempt and mockery. You belong, actually, on the Consumerist, where similarly cowering mobs of faint-hearted fawns can fan themselves and whimper together about the horrors of the darkest sides of humanity.

That is why when I go to the Apple store I wear only my jock strap and a Viking helmet. I alternate between a claymore and a scimitar as my weapon of choice. "I take no shiat from thee!! My iPhone cur, lest I blood eagle you on the customer service desk!!"


I want to bear your children. And PN's... So, I'm a slut. And male. They tell me there's nothing wrong with that these days. On that note, this year I'll be voting, again, to allow the gays to wed. Ha ha! Suckers!
 
2012-09-23 11:03:26 AM

2words1finger: I couldn't resist sending this kid the following email:

I just finished reading your Sep. 21st blog post about getting your iPhone 5, and when you wrote :Opening an Apple product is a religious experience. It's one of the best things about the first day with your shiny new device. He took that from me." all I could think was "Seriously dude? A 'religious' experience? How lame and shallow is your life and exactly how much of a looser are you that to you unboxing some piece of iCrap ranks up there with touching the divine? Did Steve Jobs have a restraining order against you because you kept stalking him and offering to blow him? I bet he did."


Err... "loser"

LOL - you should email him back to correct your typo/mistake.
 
2012-09-23 11:09:19 AM

TheGhostofFarkPast: Leishu: TheGhostofFarkPast: Leishu: Though, perhaps that's different for ATT too. On Sprint/VZ devices, if you do that, the phone number will change with a programming dump, but data connectivity will not be established without a factory reset.

Programming only comes into play on old EVDO/CDMA devices when you have to use the ESN, on Verizon since they are on 4G now once you move up to one you authenticate on the SIM Card/ UCCID level which means you can toss your sim around from 4G Phone to 4G MIFI all day long and they don't give a crap. I probably have 10 devices at any one time and tossing around 4G cards is easy and quick.

Even LTE devices still need the CDMA ESN for voice services and 3G data services, It is most definitely not a "big fat lie."

They do use CDMA for voice but programming does not need to be done on CDMA like it did before. You can on Verizon literally toss the sim from phone to phone and it would work perfectly fine, there is no more *228 to program your phone anymore once you move up to 4G. I do it daily when I flip around phones so trust me you do not have to do any CDMA registration with Verizon to get it to work.


I do the same thing...heck even with a nib phone, you just pull the old sim, put it in the new phone, wait a minute and you are done
 
2012-09-23 11:49:57 AM
Now, I can side with this guy on ONE point:

When I buy a new product, I know I plan to sell it later when I upgrade. When I sell electronics, I sell them in the retail box with everything included. That means the screen protector, the packing material, and everything else. Why? Because those little bits and bobs boost the resale value significantly to those who want the "almost new" experience. It also makes my buyers very happy.

So when some retail employee opens my box, and starts throwing away things, I get a little pissy. It's not his to dispose of, and when I unpack stuff I do it very carefully, so as to keep everything intact and like new.

The electronic device gets put into something protective, and I take care of it. When I sell it, it's usually in very good condition. Often like new.

I have been doing this for a long time, now. I get lots of gadgets, and I usually end up getting 80% or more of what I paid in the first place when I resell, because I take a lot of care in repackaging. If this dipwad behand the counter tore open my product's box, or threw away parts, or unwrapped things I planned on leaving in the package (because I have spares at home, already unwrapped), I'd be a little mad, too.

But "the experience" ?? Really? This is not religion. It's technology, and Steve Jobs isn't watching from his iCloud
Hell.

/Yes, if it existed, he'd be there.
//Ask anyone. He was a vicious asshole.
 
2012-09-23 12:11:16 PM
Oh looks like he updated his whiny blog post with another whiny blog post whining about how he was really whining, ya'll.
 
2012-09-23 12:11:52 PM
wasn't*, derp
 
2012-09-23 12:19:25 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: Oh looks like he updated his whiny blog post with another whiny blog post whining about how he was really whining, ya'll.


He's plugging his web design now.

He's got so much business he's going to give away a free website to a non profit.

You know... as soon as a non profit company contacts him and asks for a web page.
 
2012-09-23 12:22:50 PM

UnspokenVoice: You know? I have absolutely no idea what the gender of that person is physically or mentally.


www.frontroomcinema.com

Does he look like a b*tch?

l.yimg.com

W-WHAT?

wiki.tarantino.info

DOES HE LOoOK. LIKE. A B*TCH?

www.wearysloth.com

Well, yes, actually he does look like a b*tch.


a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.comcontent7.flixster.com

2.bp.blogspot.com

Okay, then.
 
2012-09-23 12:23:30 PM

TheGhostofFarkPast: Leishu: TheGhostofFarkPast: Leishu: Though, perhaps that's different for ATT too. On Sprint/VZ devices, if you do that, the phone number will change with a programming dump, but data connectivity will not be established without a factory reset.

Programming only comes into play on old EVDO/CDMA devices when you have to use the ESN, on Verizon since they are on 4G now once you move up to one you authenticate on the SIM Card/ UCCID level which means you can toss your sim around from 4G Phone to 4G MIFI all day long and they don't give a crap. I probably have 10 devices at any one time and tossing around 4G cards is easy and quick.

Even LTE devices still need the CDMA ESN for voice services and 3G data services, It is most definitely not a "big fat lie."

They do use CDMA for voice but programming does not need to be done on CDMA like it did before. You can on Verizon literally toss the sim from phone to phone and it would work perfectly fine, there is no more *228 to program your phone anymore once you move up to 4G. I do it daily when I flip around phones so trust me you do not have to do any CDMA registration with Verizon to get it to work.


Hm. Just Sprint then. I would swear the VZ devices weren't using SIM tech for other than international use now. My bad,

More likely a Sprint issue, then. But, then, all of the other Sprint current phones OTA program just fine, so it's probably more of a Sprint/Apple issue.
 
2012-09-23 01:02:33 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: Oh looks like he updated his whiny blog post with another whiny blog post whining about how he was really whining, ya'll.


I caught that too. I was gonna send the link to my best friend. He has a Mac laptop, but I wouldn't consider him an Apple Fanboy like this pathetic POS. Just wanted his reaction to confirm that.
 
2012-09-23 05:18:04 PM
I think I hate the people who love apple more then apple themselves.
 
2012-09-23 05:18:33 PM
I love that this guy is now trying to justify is retardation. No asshole, Apple is not "special". It's all in your head.
 
2012-09-23 05:22:55 PM

Generation_D: Nick Woodhams
Web Designer & Entrepreneur

Says so right on the page.

In my defense I had avoided looking at the sidebar on my way to reading your story, and averted my eyes from the margin. I wanted to enrich the experience of reading your douchiness on my own, make it more special than it already would be.


Yeah, translation: unemployed guy who knows html.
 
2012-09-23 08:23:23 PM
If it happens once a year it isn't magical or unique, its like Christmas; great the first few times, but eventually all it becomes is an expensive obligation.
 
2012-09-23 09:11:04 PM

UnspokenVoice: Avery614: Pocket Ninja: So his experience was ruined, his morning shattered, his world rent asunder, and not once did he utter a peep to explain that he wanted things to be happening another way.

If you are this utterly powerless, meek, and passive in your dealings with others, particularly around events that concern you, and then you go home and use your passivity and lack of action as the foundation for a later blog post declaiming how unfairly you have been treated, you are nothing but a passive-aggressive doormat. You're a coward, you're a tool, you're a speedbump. You deserve contempt and mockery. You belong, actually, on the Consumerist, where similarly cowering mobs of faint-hearted fawns can fan themselves and whimper together about the horrors of the darkest sides of humanity.

That is why when I go to the Apple store I wear only my jock strap and a Viking helmet. I alternate between a claymore and a scimitar as my weapon of choice. "I take no shiat from thee!! My iPhone cur, lest I blood eagle you on the customer service desk!!"

I want to bear your children. And PN's... So, I'm a slut. And male. They tell me there's nothing wrong with that these days. On that note, this year I'll be voting, again, to allow the gays to wed. Ha ha! Suckers!


I am also male..... They will be a manly children!! The men with battle axes, the size of which is rivaled only by their cocks!! The women, large breasted and having vaginas that would rend a normal man's penis in twian!!

/also supports gay marrage
 
2012-09-23 09:52:56 PM
This has to be a troll. No one could possibly be this punchable and still be alive.
 
2012-09-24 12:11:37 AM
So I still feel like my Apple Computers iPhone 4S cellular portable telephone is fairly new. I still haven't figured out what exactly it can do besides make phone calls.

I've been pondering whether I should bother upgrading my relatively brand new phone to the next version. I still look at it and go "Oooh! cool new shiny gadget"!

This article made it so much easier to resist the pressure to upgrade. I don't want to be anything like this poor pathetic fellow.
 
2012-09-25 06:51:34 PM

Max Awesome: So I still feel like my Apple Computers iPhone 4S cellular portable telephone is fairly new. I still haven't figured out what exactly it can do besides make phone calls.

I've been pondering whether I should bother upgrading my relatively brand new phone to the next version. I still look at it and go "Oooh! cool new shiny gadget"!

This article made it so much easier to resist the pressure to upgrade. I don't want to be anything like this poor pathetic fellow.


You can read Fark on it.
 
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