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(io9)   Ridley Scott's "Alien" is based on a true story   (io9.com ) divider line
    More: Weird, Ridley Scott, aliens, exoskeletons, Live Lizzard, Declare Physicians  
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7924 clicks; posted to Geek » on 21 Sep 2012 at 9:36 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-21 09:15:39 PM  
Sounds legit. And by legit I mean bullsh*t.
 
2012-09-21 09:25:52 PM  
In other news, lizards are apparently immune to corrosive acid.
 
2012-09-21 09:46:17 PM  

GAT_00: In other news, lizards are apparently immune to corrosive acid.


DID YOU NOT SEE THE MOVIE???
 
2012-09-21 09:46:22 PM  
I think Fark has hit a new low.
 
2012-09-21 09:47:58 PM  

GAT_00: In other news, lizards are apparently immune to corrosive acid.


It's in the monster manual, somewhere.
 
2012-09-21 10:10:41 PM  

GAT_00: In other news, lizards are apparently immune to corrosive acid.


No lizards... BLACK DRAGONS.
 
2012-09-21 10:13:37 PM  

GAT_00: In other news, lizards are apparently immune to corrosive acid.


Also, they don't need air. And no matter how much they claw/bite at your stomach, they never break through, killing you in a most horrible way...
 
zez
2012-09-21 10:13:53 PM  
I was always under the impression the Alien as just a drama version of Dark Star.
 
2012-09-21 10:47:51 PM  
Ridley got the Idea for Alien from wasp larvae.
 
2012-09-21 10:53:45 PM  

RedVentrue: Ridley got the Idea for Alien from wasp larvae.


Ridley got the idea for Alien from Walter Hill, the guy who hired him, and Dan O'Bannon, the guy who wrote script.
 
2012-09-21 10:54:19 PM  
There have been legends about "bosom serpents" for ages.
 
2012-09-21 11:00:36 PM  
F*ck you & io9.
 
2012-09-21 11:01:47 PM  
Of course it's based on a true story.

Ian Holm really is an android.
 
2012-09-21 11:04:37 PM  

RedVentrue: Ridley got the Idea for Alien from wasp larvae.


No, he got it from me.

/I'm suing
 
2012-09-21 11:07:24 PM  
FTFA: The heart had enlarged to three times its normal size.

i47.tinypic.com
 
2012-09-21 11:22:57 PM  

RedVentrue: Ridley got the Idea for Alien from wasp larvae.


Actually, he got it from Doctor Who "Ark in Space", which got it from (and featured) wasps.
 
2012-09-21 11:24:55 PM  
And when I say wasps, I of course mean 6 foot tall wasp-like aliens.

basementrejects.com
 
2012-09-21 11:28:32 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-09-21 11:32:12 PM  

Purity Of Essence: RedVentrue: Ridley got the Idea for Alien from wasp larvae.

Ridley got the idea for Alien from Walter Hill, the guy who hired him, and Dan O'Bannon, the guy who wrote script.


dan o'bannon also wrote and directed dark star...ohhhhhhhh
 
2012-09-21 11:43:55 PM  
Ridley Scott's "Alien" is based on a true story genuine, vintage urban legend

Which is actually kinda cool in itself.
 
2012-09-21 11:44:21 PM  
Damn, can I blame Obama yet?
 
2012-09-21 11:49:51 PM  

Walker: Sounds legit. And by legit I mean bullsh*t.


4.bp.blogspot.com

Is this the way it happened? Was Jack the Ripper in fact a sixty-foot sea serpent from Scotland? Did I take this job to make a quick buck? We may never know the answers to these questions.
 
2012-09-21 11:59:49 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-09-22 12:02:56 AM  
Um, Voyage of the Space Beagle, people!!
 
2012-09-22 12:14:32 AM  
Okay, okay...lest assume, for sake of argument, that the woman had decreased levels of HCL in her stomach than normal humans. There is the possibility that the eggs could survive. However, this is where plausibility ends.

1. Lizards eggs are many times large enough to be seen with the human eye.
2. Lizards do not lay eggs in water.
3. Some lizards give birth to live young.
4. Lizards, once hatched, need O2 to survive.

Therefore, lizards cannot EVER survive or be ingested the way the article describes.

/Fark this story, and if the doctors account is true...fark him.
//Fark everyone associated with this moronic incident and article.
///Fark
 
2012-09-22 01:01:42 AM  

Purity Of Essence: RedVentrue: Ridley got the Idea for Alien from wasp larvae.

Ridley got the idea for Alien from Walter Hill, the guy who hired him, and Dan O'Bannon, the guy who wrote script.


And O'Bannon suffered from Crohn's disease, which if Alien is "based" on anything, it's probably that.
 
2012-09-22 02:43:44 AM  
imageshack.us
 
2012-09-22 07:02:20 AM  
Huh. I thought the story of Alien was based on the story of La Mare Nostrum, a ship full of soldiers in Napoleon's army trying to return to France after the campaign in Egypt and discovering camel spiders had stowed away in their provisions. Imagine being an exhausted, sunburnt soldier waking in your hammock at sea to find a camel spider clamped onto the face of a shipmate, or your own face. No wonder they abandoned and burned the ship and only one survivor in a lifeboat was left alive.

...OK, I'm lying. Just like the story in TFA.
 
2012-09-22 07:11:51 AM  
P.S.: (Yeah, I know that "one survivor in a lifeboat was left alive" is redundant. But you can't have a BS horror story without bad grammar. It hangs a lantern on it being BS. Also, it's late and I haven't slept well for weeks. So there.)
 
2012-09-22 07:25:43 AM  
Grotesk:
Huh. I thought the story of Alien was based on the story of La Mare Nostrum, a ship full of soldiers in Napoleon's army trying to return to France after the campaign in Egypt and discovering camel spiders had stowed away in their provisions. Imagine being an exhausted, sunburnt soldier waking in your hammock at sea to find a camel spider clamped onto the face of a shipmate, or your own face. No wonder they abandoned and burned the ship and only one survivor in a lifeboat was left alive.

...OK, I'm lying. Just like the story in TFA.


No no, that was pretty good. Go on.
 
2012-09-22 08:30:23 AM  

No Such Agency: Grotesk:
Huh. I thought the story of Alien was based on the story of La Mare Nostrum, a ship full of soldiers in Napoleon's army trying to return to France after the campaign in Egypt and discovering camel spiders had stowed away in their provisions. Imagine being an exhausted, sunburnt soldier waking in your hammock at sea to find a camel spider clamped onto the face of a shipmate, or your own face. No wonder they abandoned and burned the ship and only one survivor in a lifeboat was left alive.

...OK, I'm lying. Just like the story in TFA.

No no, that was pretty good. Go on.


Seriously, dude, I had just gotten my pants down...
 
2012-09-22 08:49:39 AM  

DrZiffle: There have been legends about "bosom serpents" for ages.


Would those be any similar to trouser snakes?
 
2012-09-22 09:23:22 AM  

No Such Agency: No no, that was pretty good. Go on.


Thank you, but there's not really anything left to tell. Nothing that wasn't a bit of a depressing let-down, anyway. Just that the survivor, Allain Rippel, was apparently so traumatized by his experiences that he kept seeing the spiders everywhere, even years and years later, where they couldn't possibly be. He left the military, but couldn't hold a job, wouldn't travel by ship anymore, then his fed-up wife left him with a young daughter to look after. She left the kid because he'd told the story to her so often that she also was seeing camel spiders in the shadows. She had night terrors and violent outbursts, like him, and he must have realized he was too far gone to take care of her because he tried to get the kid to stay with relatives out in the country, but they sent her to a boarding school. She never made it because the school's carriage was not well maintained or there was a bad storm with crashing mudslides (depending on which source you believe -- the school wasn't going to admit culpability and so never paid out anything), and it lost a wheel, broke up and rolled on top of her, the driver and some other students. After Rippel heard about it, he kind of went mad(der) and after too much time and money spent in opium dens and tavern fights, ended up in debtor's prison on a work farm where he flipped out one last time and threw himself into one of the quarry pits.

And you know, I'd say it was just a story not worth repeating, but for it being one of those tales that gets handed down in a family and was told by a great-great-whatevereth cousin of the guy, a (kind of creepy) professor at some university in Europe who was named Allain after the guy in the story, and who actually studies spiders and scorpions and other venomous bugs for a living, if you can believe it.


(Of course, if you can believe it, you weren't paying attention when I said it was a lie.)
 
2012-09-22 09:26:43 AM  
So in TFA `true` means `not true`

gottit
 
2012-09-22 09:33:32 AM  
So Prometheus is based on senility?
 
2012-09-22 10:11:27 AM  

Mister Peejay: DrZiffle: There have been legends about "bosom serpents" for ages.

Would those be any similar to trouser snakes?


Wow! I suddenly feel all... extra-FARKy. Thanks for the power-up, dude!
 
2012-09-22 10:43:00 AM  

Counter_Intelligent: Um, Voyage of the Space Beagle, people!!


This.
 
2012-09-22 01:14:13 PM  

pseudowho: And when I say wasps, I of course mean 6 foot tall wasp-like aliens.

[basementrejects.com image 616x475]


GAME OVER, MAN! GAME OVER!
 
2012-09-22 04:56:40 PM  
Alien was heavily influenced by Mario Bava's 1965 film Planet of the Vampires.
 
2012-09-22 11:32:52 PM  

Grotesk: No Such Agency: No no, that was pretty good. Go on.

Thank you, but there's not really anything left to tell. Nothing that wasn't a bit of a depressing let-down, anyway. Just that the survivor, Allain Rippel, was apparently so traumatized by his experiences that he kept seeing the spiders everywhere, even years and years later, where they couldn't possibly be. He left the military, but couldn't hold a job, wouldn't travel by ship anymore, then his fed-up wife left him with a young daughter to look after. She left the kid because he'd told the story to her so often that she also was seeing camel spiders in the shadows. She had night terrors and violent outbursts, like him, and he must have realized he was too far gone to take care of her because he tried to get the kid to stay with relatives out in the country, but they sent her to a boarding school. She never made it because the school's carriage was not well maintained or there was a bad storm with crashing mudslides (depending on which source you believe -- the school wasn't going to admit culpability and so never paid out anything), and it lost a wheel, broke up and rolled on top of her, the driver and some other students. After Rippel heard about it, he kind of went mad(der) and after too much time and money spent in opium dens and tavern fights, ended up in debtor's prison on a work farm where he flipped out one last time and threw himself into one of the quarry pits.

And you know, I'd say it was just a story not worth repeating, but for it being one of those tales that gets handed down in a family and was told by a great-great-whatevereth cousin of the guy, a (kind of creepy) professor at some university in Europe who was named Allain after the guy in the story, and who actually studies spiders and scorpions and other venomous bugs for a living, if you can believe it.


(Of course, if you can believe it, you weren't paying attention when I said it was a lie.)


You rock! Farkied now so I'll never miss anymore.
 
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