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(Baton Rouge Advocate)   For just a $10 greens fee, you can play golf inside the largest maximum-security prison in the United States in Angola, Louisiana. A prison trustee caddy costs extra   (theadvocate.com) divider line 53
    More: Weird, Angola, United States, supermax, Sun City  
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7102 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Sep 2012 at 2:22 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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vpb [TotalFark]
2012-09-21 09:29:36 AM
I am surprised the don't just bring back the convict lease system.
 
2012-09-21 09:51:03 AM
Bonus: surprise buttsex.
 
2012-09-21 11:57:27 AM
This caddy made the mistake of grabbing a 6 iron when he was asked for the 9 iron. I guess he won't make that mistake again LOLZ!

a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com
 
2012-09-21 01:49:02 PM
do inmates get to play the course too?
 
2012-09-21 02:23:33 PM
Green mile fee.
 
2012-09-21 02:29:16 PM
 
2012-09-21 02:29:24 PM
Cavity search for golf? I'm already humiliated enough with my score by attempting to play the game.
 
2012-09-21 02:30:10 PM

Ebenator: Link


NO alcohol? How the HELL do they expect you to play??
 
2012-09-21 02:31:07 PM
I want to hear more about the dude that killed the snake and another one came out of its mouth. Sounds like a video game boss.
 
2012-09-21 02:31:50 PM
"I don't think I'd take a chance playing around Nile crocodiles," Cain said.

Limp wristed pussy.
 
2012-09-21 02:32:07 PM
I saw this on the Golf Channel once. The premise is that many ex-cons get work in landscaping, so they built and maintain the course as a vocational training exercise. The guards and employees would play the course, and eventually they began letting the public in.

I also recall that the tee markers were in the shape of handcuffs.
 
2012-09-21 02:33:19 PM
I played there once...the caddy just couldn't wait to get to get me on the back nine
 
2012-09-21 02:34:11 PM
to get to get t-t-t-today junior.


/typos ruin jokes
 
2012-09-21 02:35:04 PM
actually, "to get to get me" still kinda works.
 
2012-09-21 02:37:23 PM
 
2012-09-21 02:37:46 PM
That's a pretty good deal, actually. I played next a mine field in Korea, so why not?
 
2012-09-21 02:38:00 PM

Ebenator: Link


[little fist of rage]
 
2012-09-21 02:40:35 PM
I suck at golf enough without having a bunch of violent inmates heckling me every time I hook one.
 
2012-09-21 02:41:43 PM

ChipNASA: Ebenator: Link

NO alcohol? How the HELL do they expect you to play??


What's the name of that game that's similar to golf but doesn't involve alcohol?
 
2012-09-21 02:45:25 PM
The birdie man of Angola.
 
2012-09-21 02:46:46 PM
This is the weirdest golf-related news I have ever read... Not that I read much golf news, but still.
 
2012-09-21 02:47:02 PM

WhippingBoy: ChipNASA: Ebenator: Link

NO alcohol? How the HELL do they expect you to play??

What's the name of that game that's similar to golf but doesn't involve alcohol?


attrition.
 
2012-09-21 02:47:42 PM

MFAWG: That's a pretty good deal, actually. I played next a mine field in Korea, so why not?


CGSB Time

I was learning to play golf one of my first times at England AFB in LA and one of the holes had a straight fairway, a dogleg that was almost 90 degrees to the left and then another straight fairway (think the tetris piece t1.gstatic.com) It was that way because there was a road running along the fairway and then a fence and then there was the flightline. I had a *horrible* slice. I hit the ball like 45 degrees and all I could see was the ball heading straight a line of OH-58 Kiowa helos parked just across the street. The Chief I was playing with and I said exactly at the same time "Oh SHIAT"...and the ball flew up (I was doing the math in my head trying to figure out what a windshield on a Kiowa costs) and then the ball hit a telephone wire strung across the road, (think about the size and odds of that...hand of GOD I tells ya) fell, hit the curb and then bounced back on the fairway. I seriously was half a second from wetting my pants.
Courts-Martial Averted!

End CGSB....
 
2012-09-21 02:48:11 PM
busy chillin': actually, "to get to get me" still kinda works.

So does a huge veiny black dick plunging into your shiathole, but you can't scream because your mouth is otherwise occupied!!

/thinking of the subtle art of John Persons and Tom of Finland
 
2012-09-21 02:49:47 PM

pute kisses like a man: WhippingBoy: ChipNASA: Ebenator: Link

NO alcohol? How the HELL do they expect you to play??

What's the name of that game that's similar to golf but doesn't involve alcohol?

attrition.


TOUCHE' I was going to say "Miniature Golf" but that makes me drink too.....goddamnit.
 
2012-09-21 02:50:04 PM
This is just one of the many entertainments Angola offers for the non-convict. They also do a rodeo twice a year in a purpose built stadium (the big event is in the fall, small one in the spring.) One of the more popular events is a poker game, where all of the convicts sit in the ring playing poker at a table, and the guards release an enraged bull into the ring with them. The person remaining in their seat the longest is the winner. And there is the event where all of the convicts try to grab a poker chip strung between a bull's horns. I believe the winner of that one receives $500.

The rodeo also has a market where the prisoners sell hand-made item. I have a gorgeous inlaid wood box that my parents picked up for me when they went with my brother and grandparents (I unfortunately didn't get to go), created by a gentleman named "whitebean" that is serving 90 years flat. Gotta love cheap convict labor.

i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
 
2012-09-21 02:55:05 PM
What's your divot doing on Boss's fairway?
 
2012-09-21 03:01:56 PM
I love to play golf. I suck at it but I still love it. I will go nowhere I can't carry my firearm. This includes airports, government buildings, etc. I have a CCL, and carry 24x7 but I hate scanners, pat-downs, etc.

/suck it haters
 
2012-09-21 03:05:35 PM

ChipNASA: MFAWG: That's a pretty good deal, actually. I played next a mine field in Korea, so why not?

CGSB Time

I was learning to play golf one of my first times at England AFB in LA and one of the holes had a straight fairway, a dogleg that was almost 90 degrees to the left and then another straight fairway (think the tetris piece [t1.gstatic.com image 225x225]) It was that way because there was a road running along the fairway and then a fence and then there was the flightline. I had a *horrible* slice. I hit the ball like 45 degrees and all I could see was the ball heading straight a line of OH-58 Kiowa helos parked just across the street. The Chief I was playing with and I said exactly at the same time "Oh SHIAT"...and the ball flew up (I was doing the math in my head trying to figure out what a windshield on a Kiowa costs) and then the ball hit a telephone wire strung across the road, (think about the size and odds of that...hand of GOD I tells ya) fell, hit the curb and then bounced back on the fairway. I seriously was half a second from wetting my pants.
Courts-Martial Averted!

End CGSB....


You mean 'Englund'? My guess is a weak slice from a beginner isn't really going to do much to the windshield of an OH 58.

Still, CGSB!
 
2012-09-21 03:06:37 PM

BoboRod: I love to play golf. I suck at it but I still love it. I will go nowhere I can't carry my firearm. This includes airports, government buildings, etc. I have a CCL, and carry 24x7 but I hate scanners, pat-downs, etc.

/suck it haters


Remind me not to press a Nassau and then beat you by 5 strokes.
 
2012-09-21 03:15:26 PM

MFAWG: ChipNASA: MFAWG: That's a pretty good deal, actually. I played next a mine field in Korea, so why not?

CGSB Time

I was learning to play golf one of my first times at England AFB in LA and one of the holes had a straight fairway, a dogleg that was almost 90 degrees to the left and then another straight fairway (think the tetris piece [t1.gstatic.com image 225x225]) It was that way because there was a road running along the fairway and then a fence and then there was the flightline. I had a *horrible* slice. I hit the ball like 45 degrees and all I could see was the ball heading straight a line of OH-58 Kiowa helos parked just across the street. The Chief I was playing with and I said exactly at the same time "Oh SHIAT"...and the ball flew up (I was doing the math in my head trying to figure out what a windshield on a Kiowa costs) and then the ball hit a telephone wire strung across the road, (think about the size and odds of that...hand of GOD I tells ya) fell, hit the curb and then bounced back on the fairway. I seriously was half a second from wetting my pants.
Courts-Martial Averted!

End CGSB....

You mean 'Englund'? My guess is a weak slice from a beginner isn't really going to do much to the windshield of an OH 58.

Still, CGSB!


Nah, it's spelled correctly.
England
I was there in 1992 as they were closing and boy we pissed off the Base Commander. 19,000 troops from the AF and Fort Polk descending on his base for a huge saber rattling exercise Post Desert Shield/Storm for Saddam.
They were closing the BX that week and much of the base was being prepped to be turned over to the City of Alexandria and then they had to accommodate this huge "party" for us. They were not exactly gracious hosts. LOL.

SAND EAGLE (Purple Duck) '92!
/still have the Tee Shirt.
 
2012-09-21 03:18:36 PM
FREE BOOSIE!!!
 
2012-09-21 03:22:16 PM
When you shank a tee off, some one offs tee with a shank.
 
2012-09-21 03:25:36 PM

ChipNASA: pute kisses like a man: WhippingBoy: ChipNASA: Ebenator: Link

NO alcohol? How the HELL do they expect you to play??

What's the name of that game that's similar to golf but doesn't involve alcohol?

attrition.

TOUCHE' I was going to say "Miniature Golf" but that makes me drink too.....goddamnit.


miniature golf was my kneejerk reaction... but then I remembered the last time i played miniature golf, i was drunk... so then i realized the true answer.
 
2012-09-21 03:27:04 PM
Well it is a damned bit cheaper than the golf course that is owned by the City of Providence. It's $42 to play 18 holes there.

That would be Triggs Memorial Golf Course - a nice little mini-size course in the city.
 
2012-09-21 03:29:48 PM
FTFA: Singapore Island Country Club, where a pro golfer killed a 9-foot-long cobra during a 1982 tournament, only to watch another snake emerge from the cobra's mouth. 

Mere words cannot adequately express the awesome.
 
2012-09-21 03:33:34 PM
Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shiat smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want to. Five hundred yards... that's the length of a long par 4, just shy of a par 5..
 
2012-09-21 03:34:43 PM

pute kisses like a man: WhippingBoy: ChipNASA: Ebenator: Link

NO alcohol? How the HELL do they expect you to play??

What's the name of that game that's similar to golf but doesn't involve alcohol?

attrition.


Walking
 
2012-09-21 03:35:09 PM
Forget the channel, but earlier this year there was a several episode series on Angola. It was good, but probably could have gone deeper.
 
2012-09-21 03:51:50 PM
We used to play for free at Carville, the old leprosy colony down the river a good ways from Angola. Granted the only thing that was really around Carville were plants, but the golf course was always deserted. This was before they move the National Guard and Youth Challenge Juvie bootcamp style school there.
 
2012-09-21 04:18:29 PM
Singapore Island Country Club, where a pro golfer killed a 9-foot-long cobra during a 1982 tournament, only to watch another snake emerge from the cobra's mouth.

blog.pubquizusa.com

Must drink to get image out of my head...
 
2012-09-21 04:23:04 PM
I can see the pros and cons
 
2012-09-21 04:39:55 PM
Or, you could pay thousands to play on Donald trumps golf course here in palm beach county, with that fabulous view of the Gun Club jail complex. Enjoy the breathtaking wildlife, take a swing at an aggressive black swan all while listening to the sounds of nature and the jeers of inmates.

Not that I've ever been to the course. The jail, however....
 
2012-09-21 04:40:00 PM
I'd think that people would play there just to say they did but I'm obviously not a golfer.
 
2012-09-21 04:43:50 PM
<b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7339642/79533548#c79533548" target="_blank">TheOther</a>:</b> <i>Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shiat smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want to. Five hundred yards... that's the length of a long par 4, just shy of a par 5..</i>

Golf Clap!
 
2012-09-21 05:04:43 PM
Thanks, I just prefer the one ass raping when I hit the links.
 
2012-09-21 05:22:18 PM
A lot of messed up stuff in that prison. I read "Mississippi Mud" about a year ago It's about Kirksey Nix, Biloxi, and the Dixie Mafia. Really messed up stuff - as in ordering hits on judges kind of messed up stuff.
 
2012-09-21 06:41:31 PM

BoboRod: I love to play golf. I suck at it but I still love it. I will go nowhere I can't carry my firearm. This includes airports, government buildings, etc. I have a CCL, and carry 24x7 but I hate scanners, pat-downs, etc.

/suck it haters


Hey I have one (got in Kansas) and live in IL. I still carry and f*ck those who judge. I own multiple guns, member of the NRA....and I have a PhD. Suck it, stereotypes!

P.S. The CC course I took had 6 students - me and my boss at work (both PhDs) an attorney (JD) and two doctors (MD) and one other dude. So yeah, everyone who enjoys firearms is a mouth-breathing, cousin-marryin' redneck.
 
2012-09-21 08:26:51 PM
Chances are the caddies are low level goody goody guys. (What do they call the guys that aLways get the low risk jobs?)
I'd want my caddy to be a badass mutherfarker hard core lifer murderer dude with gang tats and nasty scars from where people tried to kill him but failed.
He'd have much better stories to talk about and would probably be a lot of fun in a relaxed casual setting.
 
2012-09-21 10:08:14 PM
DownDaRiver: Chances are the caddies are low level goody goody guys. (What do they call the guys that aLways get the low risk jobs?)
I'd want my caddy to be a badass mutherfarker hard core lifer murderer dude with gang tats and nasty scars from where people tried to kill him but failed.
He'd have much better stories to talk about and would probably be a lot of fun in a relaxed casual setting.


Unless he decides you got a real purdy mouth
 
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