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(CNN)   British soldier in Afghanistan receives unexpected discharge   (cnn.com) divider line 48
    More: Strange, Afghanistan, British, Camp Bastion, British Military, Apache Helicopter, Britain's Ministry of Defence, International Security Assistance Force, Prince Harry  
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9147 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Sep 2012 at 9:14 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-20 05:49:03 PM
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-09-20 05:51:38 PM
Bet the Afghans are getting so tired of all these anchor babies being born in their country to get all those benefits and opportunities.
 
2012-09-20 05:58:58 PM

thisisyourbrainonFark: Bet the Afghans are getting so tired of all these anchor babies being born in their country to get all those benefits and opportunities.


Nicely done!
 
2012-09-20 06:07:14 PM
If she was fit enough for combat there is no way she didn't know, she just didn't want reassignment.
 
2012-09-20 06:17:24 PM
Granted I've never been pregnant, but how on Earth can you carry a baby for 9 months and not have at least a hint that there's something funny going on with your body?
 
2012-09-20 06:21:58 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Granted I've never been pregnant, but how on Earth can you carry a baby for 9 months and not have at least a hint that there's something funny going on with your body?


I have a couple of friends that work in ER's, they both have several stories of usually larger, usually youngish, often not too bright young women coming to the hospital in labour, with no clue what's happening to them..
 
2012-09-20 06:31:43 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Granted I've never been pregnant, but how on Earth can you carry a baby for 9 months and not have at least a hint that there's something funny going on with your body?


Indeed. I recall TLC foisting a show upon the unsuspecting populace to exploit explore this very phenomenon. You know, for educational purposes.
 
2012-09-20 06:43:32 PM

sno man: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Granted I've never been pregnant, but how on Earth can you carry a baby for 9 months and not have at least a hint that there's something funny going on with your body?

I have a couple of friends that work in ER's, they both have several stories of usually larger, usually youngish, often not too bright young women coming to the hospital in labour, with no clue what's happening to them..


They'd have to be really out of touch with their bodies or in a great deal of denial.
 
2012-09-20 07:02:10 PM

AbbeySomeone: sno man: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Granted I've never been pregnant, but how on Earth can you carry a baby for 9 months and not have at least a hint that there's something funny going on with your body?

I have a couple of friends that work in ER's, they both have several stories of usually larger, usually youngish, often not too bright young women coming to the hospital in labour, with no clue what's happening to them..

They'd have to be really out of touch with their bodies or in a great deal of denial.


It really depends on the physiology of the mom. Some women have such irregular periods that they think its no big deal when they don't bleed for months on end - especially in a stressful situation. Some pregnant women will still spot blood once a month. Very tall (and/or fat) women can carry a baby to term without showing at all.

So I agree that it does seem odd but it does happen.
 
2012-09-20 07:05:31 PM
I kind of wish it mentioned how long she had been deployed.

We had to go through a bunch of medical exams before our deployment, as part of SRP (Soldier Readiness Processing). I'm pretty sure all of the female soldiers were required to take pregnancy tests.
 
2012-09-20 07:41:10 PM
How is babby formed?
 
2012-09-20 07:49:27 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Granted I've never been pregnant, but how on Earth can you carry a baby for 9 months and not have at least a hint that there's something funny going on with your body?


I can see it going on for maybe 4 or 5 months, especially if the woman normally has irregular menstrual cycles and is slightly on the larger side. But once you feel something KICKING AND MOVING against the inside of your stomach, how do you ignore that?
 
2012-09-20 07:53:51 PM

AbbeySomeone: sno man: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Granted I've never been pregnant, but how on Earth can you carry a baby for 9 months and not have at least a hint that there's something funny going on with your body?

I have a couple of friends that work in ER's, they both have several stories of usually larger, usually youngish, often not too bright young women coming to the hospital in labour, with no clue what's happening to them..

They'd have to be really out of touch with their bodies or in a great deal of denial.


I asked that very question...
It seems that sex ed pretty much sucks in the states, and not just about sex. Also what quickdraw said, it's not so much about being out of touch as never having been in touch.
 
2012-09-20 08:20:40 PM
notesfromachair.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-09-20 08:22:35 PM

miss diminutive: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Granted I've never been pregnant, but how on Earth can you carry a baby for 9 months and not have at least a hint that there's something funny going on with your body?

I can see it going on for maybe 4 or 5 months, especially if the woman normally has irregular menstrual cycles and is slightly on the larger side. But once you feel something KICKING AND MOVING against the inside of your stomach, how do you ignore that?


My sort-of MIL, an RN, found out she was pregnant 2 weeks before she gave birth. She had been told she couldn't get pregnant. She just thought she was fat with really bad gas. She was also on a lot of weird meds that can do odd things to your cycle and cause indigestion. So even though she's a freaking nurse she didnt know she was pregnant.

/kid turned out ok - mostly
 
2012-09-20 09:11:56 PM

thamike: [notesfromachair.files.wordpress.com image 460x276]

i.imgur.com
Missing Caption: "That's the same camp where Britain's Prince Harry is stationed as an Apache helicopter pilot in the Taliban heartland of Helmand province."
 
2012-09-20 09:18:19 PM
Britain puts morbidly obese females on the front lines?
 
2012-09-20 09:20:06 PM
Geez, just because soldiers are busy avoiding IEDs shouldn't mean they should avoid IUDs too.
 
2012-09-20 09:20:18 PM

Babwa Wawa: thamike: [notesfromachair.files.wordpress.com image 460x276]
[i.imgur.com image 460x276]
Missing Caption: "That's the same camp where Britain's Prince Harry is stationed as an Apache helicopter pilot in the Taliban heartland of Helmand province."


Never mind where he is now. Where was the good Prince nine months ago?
 
2012-09-20 09:21:35 PM
Things like that may happen to the woman's body if it's not a legitimate pregnancy.
 
2012-09-20 09:22:04 PM
The brain is a mighty strange thing. If the woman really, really did not want to be pregnant, it is possible (i'm not implying probable) that her brain did not allow her to recognize the pregnancy or even inform her of things like baby kicks or morning sickness. There have been cases of women genuinely waking out of fugue like states with a baby in their arms and having no idea how they got there. Plus, some women don't develop amniotic sacs, so they don't gain weight.
 
2012-09-20 09:31:30 PM
Some are born into regimental life, in 16 years he can reenlist.
 
2012-09-20 09:35:18 PM
Sounds like "The Boss" gave birth to Ocelot. I guess love (and babies) can bloom on the battlefield...
 
2012-09-20 09:39:08 PM

Apos: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Granted I've never been pregnant, but how on Earth can you carry a baby for 9 months and not have at least a hint that there's something funny going on with your body?

Indeed. I recall TLC foisting a show upon the unsuspecting populace to exploit explore this very phenomenon. You know, for educational purposes.


I think it was MTV's "Sixteen and Pregnant". Could be wrong, though. I only know this stuff from The Soup.
 
2012-09-20 09:45:45 PM

fusillade762: Apos: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Granted I've never been pregnant, but how on Earth can you carry a baby for 9 months and not have at least a hint that there's something funny going on with your body?

Indeed. I recall TLC foisting a show upon the unsuspecting populace to exploit explore this very phenomenon. You know, for educational purposes.

I think it was MTV's "Sixteen and Pregnant". Could be wrong, though. I only know this stuff from The Soup.


I believe it was actually called "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant",but yeah,it might have been on either of the two stations. It was referenced on one of those VH1 shows.
 
2012-09-20 09:50:42 PM
Classic cum dumpster.
 
2012-09-20 09:53:56 PM
She sounds fat.
 
2012-09-20 10:17:10 PM
Unsolicited Babby in the Uterus?
 
2012-09-20 10:18:04 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Granted I've never been pregnant, but how on Earth can you carry a baby for 9 months and not have at least a hint that there's something funny going on with your body?


Not a clue, but this is more or less how my girlfriend came into the world. Mother had... er... relations... with someone in the Navy before deployment, gets sent over to support Operation Desert Storm, is assigned as a guard at a fleet hospital in... Dubai, I think... falls down a ladder, hurts her hip, goes in for treatment...

"What's that on the MRI?"

Back home she goes and in six days it will have been 21 years since her birth.
 
2012-09-20 10:48:40 PM
Military women get knocked up on deployment all the time. Getting preggers is pretty much the only way to get sentthe home early without disciplinary action. And they say women aren't privileged...
 
2012-09-20 10:53:10 PM

Sgt Otter: I kind of wish it mentioned how long she had been deployed.

We had to go through a bunch of medical exams before our deployment, as part of SRP (Soldier Readiness Processing). I'm pretty sure all of the female soldiers were required to take pregnancy tests.


Deployed in March, and gave birth at 34 weeks (so roughly 6-10 weeks pregnant @ deployment). The British Army doesn't test for pregnancy before deployment. Link.
 
2012-09-20 10:55:40 PM

JesusJuice: Military women get knocked up on deployment all the time. Getting preggers is pretty much the only way to get sentthe home early without disciplinary action. And they say women aren't privileged...


The privilege of pushing a watermelon out a garden hose? I'd say a few minutes of joyous thrusting and then walking away is pretty damned privileged.
 
2012-09-20 11:05:30 PM

JesusJuice: Military women get knocked up on deployment all the time. Getting preggers is pretty much the only way to get sentthe home early without disciplinary action. And they say women aren't privileged...


At least as of 2005 it was still against the rules to get knocked up in theater (Iraq). Happened to a girl on my deployment - the only reason she got in trouble was because she decided to use the pregnancy as a weapon against the father because he wouldn't leave his wife for her. She could have just STFU and made it back to the US and gone to base hospital, but instead she decided to go to the commander and drop the bomb. He got demoted to Cpl from SSgt select. She got demoted from Cpl (one month from Sgt) to Lance.

It was so stupid. She f*cked him and herself out of so much money and ruined both of their careers.

She was ugly as sin, too. Not even deployment goggles could make that broad attractive.
 
2012-09-20 11:08:19 PM

vudukungfu: How is babby formed?


Sit down on my lap, sonny, we need to have a talk.

When boys and girls reach a stage called "pube growing", their crotches get really hairy for a reason that science cannot yet explain, other than to enhance the dental hygiene of males that place their mouths on the crotches of the females.

Boys are now called men, and girls are now called women.

Now, pay careful attention to what I'm about to tell you, vudukungfu, because what I'm about to tell you may seem strange, but it is perfectly natural and quite beautiful.

Women are given what is known as an "ass". This "ass" may or may not capture the attention of a nearby male. When it does, the male begins a process of wearing sunglasses and biting his lower lip while looking at the ass. This is known as "dat ass", and is seen below.

www.reactionface.info
What a man who is dat assing may look like

When a man dat asses and a woman likes the fact that he is doing so, she then allows him a solicited finger in anus, or SFIA. If she does not, and he puts a finger in her anus anyways, it is known as an Unsolicited Finger in Anus, or UFIA. UFIAs are bad, but do not lead to babby being formed in 90% of cases, because the finger in anus is not legitimate.

When the FIA is legitimate and solicited, the woman's ass becomes larger and larger. A babby forms in her ass. This causes the woman to get cranky and throw up all of the time, because she can no longer poop, due to the babby forming in her ass. After nine months, the babby, now known as "crotchfruit", is pushed out of the woman's ass, making the man question if he ever wants to dat ass with the mother of his babby ever again. The woman then takes the crotchfruit to her local restaurant, where the crotchfruit starts crying and disturbs everyone else while the mother and father just tune it out.

It's a harsh cycle, and may be unappealing at times, but let me tell you that it is an incredibly fulfilling thing to finally be able to piss off the rest of the restaurant with your own crotchfruit, instead of having to listen to someone else's crotchfruit. Think of it as sweet revenge.

/I'm glad we had this talk
 
2012-09-20 11:27:47 PM

Marine1: vudukungfu: How is babby formed?

Sit down on my lap, sonny, we need to have a talk.

When boys and girls reach a stage called "pube growing", their crotches ... ...


I feel funny.
 
2012-09-20 11:35:41 PM

Ben4149: Geez, just because soldiers are busy avoiding IEDs shouldn't mean they should avoid IUDs too.


Well said.
 
2012-09-20 11:56:30 PM
"I was born on a battlefield, the first sound I heard was a scream."
 
2012-09-21 12:20:05 AM
Crappy CNN article is crappy and left out info.

Also, apparently some Fark Armchair Quarterbacks didn't bother to RTFA, as crappy as it was.

Another article I read, this morning, via Drudge, was quite a bit more illuminating. Sorry, the link seems to have gone missing, but I believe it might have been the Mail. It mentioned the following additional info:

1) the British female soldier was from Fiji. Fiji Islanders are often similar to Samoans - "full bodied" (just DON"T say that to a drunk Samoan in a Hawaiian Gardens bar - he might shake off the 7 cops trying to arrest him for throwing cars around, and sit on you).

2) the article mentioned that British medics blamed her lack of insight on:
a) she was extremely fit and muscled
b) she thought that her body's signals that something was different were due to changes in the diet and climate
 
2012-09-21 12:22:40 AM

vudukungfu: Marine1: vudukungfu: How is babby formed?

Sit down on my lap, sonny, we need to have a talk.

When boys and girls reach a stage called "pube growing", their crotches ... ...

I feel funny.


That's hormones, boy. You're well on your way to being a greasy, awkward eternal virgin.
 
2012-09-21 12:52:18 AM

Marine1: vudukungfu: How is babby formed?

Sit down on my lap, sonny, we need to have a talk. [...]


Please design a primary school sex ed course. You have the makings of a viable product.

I will admit that when I was a youngster I had a REALLY bizarre theory of sex. Unaware of the existence of the vagina, I assumed that babies came out their mother's butt, a process that must have been like passing a monstrously large turd and accounting of the great pain of childbirth. I assumed that girls simply had nothing in place of a penis and resembled G. I. Joe between the legs, so I was never interested to look. Lacking a penis, girls obviously had to urinate from their butts too, which neatly explained why they squat to pee. Essentially, I assumed that girls had a cloaca like a frog's.

Of course, none of this explains how babby is formed, but I had a theory for that too thanks to dad's electronic textbooks and my youthful scientific mind. You see, men and women have different electrical charges, and nipples are terminals which conduct and are sensitive to electrical current (which neatly explains why men have nipples and why they are so sensitive). When you see a man and woman get naked and press themselves together (which you often see in "mushy" movie scenes) what they are trying to do is put their nipples together. If they do this, a circuit is completed and the man's genetic information is passed into the woman in the form of a modulated data packet, which prompts her body to start forming a babby with it. Nine months later -- big, painful bowel movement.

So, having worked out all the answers on the topic of human reproduction, I never had to ask how babby is formed, but I did once explain it all to my parents and some visiting relatives. They were speechless by the time I'd delivered my dissertation. I thought they admired my brilliance. I didn't know they were seriously considering taking me to a shrink.
 
2012-09-21 01:07:41 AM

sno man: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Granted I've never been pregnant, but how on Earth can you carry a baby for 9 months and not have at least a hint that there's something funny going on with your body?

I have a couple of friends that work in ER's, they both have several stories of usually larger, usually youngish, often not too bright young women coming to the hospital in labour, with no clue what's happening to them..


FTFA: Britain's Ministry of Defence does not allow troops to deploy on operations if they are pregnant, but the ministry didn't know the woman was expecting.

It refused to confirm reports in the British media that the soldier didn't know she was pregnant.


None of this--your supposition or the official report--encourages me in the slightest. So either this woman--this SOLDIER--had no idea that she was pregnant even though she had to have had sex at least once before deployment--in which case British soldiers are stupid--OR the British government lets fat women soldiers into combat areas.

Neither theory is reassuring.
 
2012-09-21 01:10:14 AM
I do hope Prince Harry has had the decency to stop by and wish the obviously stressed out new mum well.
 
2012-09-21 01:27:20 AM
ShannonKW~

Sorta sounds like Doc Daneeka and the newly wed virgins in Catch-22.
 
2012-09-21 02:09:42 AM

Gyrfalcon: So either this woman--this SOLDIER--had no idea that she was pregnant even though she had to have had sex at least once before deployment--in which case British soldiers are stupid--OR the British government lets fat women soldiers into combat areas.

Neither theory is reassuring.



Da Nile is more than a river in Africa. It's been delivering surprise babies in toilets across the US with depressing regularity for time out of mind.

At least this is a refreshing break from the old & busted get-knocked-up-to-dodge-deployment trick. This may be the first case of a woman denying pregnancy in order to deploy.
 
2012-09-21 03:37:39 AM

ShannonKW: Gyrfalcon: So either this woman--this SOLDIER--had no idea that she was pregnant even though she had to have had sex at least once before deployment--in which case British soldiers are stupid--OR the British government lets fat women soldiers into combat areas.

Neither theory is reassuring.


Da Nile is more than a river in Africa. It's been delivering surprise babies in toilets across the US with depressing regularity for time out of mind.

At least this is a refreshing break from the old & busted get-knocked-up-to-dodge-deployment trick. This may be the first case of a woman denying pregnancy in order to deploy.


True, but are female British soldiers all in poor enough shape that they can hide a pregnancy until it suddenly delivers? I agree that a woman might not know of a pregnancy and that under certain conditions it might not show; but those "conditions" aren't generally the ones I'd expect in a front-line soldier, you know? Sure, a heavy, big-boned woman might not show until the 9th month, but fatties like that shouldn't be combat soldiers.
 
2012-09-21 04:48:37 AM

ZipSplat: made it back to the US


Talking about the UK here. Different rules
 
2012-09-21 08:23:20 AM

miss diminutive: JesusJuice: Military women get knocked up on deployment all the time. Getting preggers is pretty much the only way to get sentthe home early without disciplinary action. And they say women aren't privileged...

The privilege of pushing a watermelon out a garden hose? I'd say a few minutes of joyous thrusting and then walking away is pretty damned privileged.


Aren't you privelidged!
 
2012-09-21 10:44:19 PM

Gyrfalcon: ShannonKW: Gyrfalcon: So either this woman--this SOLDIER--had no idea that she was pregnant even though she had to have had sex at least once before deployment--in which case British soldiers are stupid--OR the British government lets fat women soldiers into combat areas.

Neither theory is reassuring.


Da Nile is more than a river in Africa. It's been delivering surprise babies in toilets across the US with depressing regularity for time out of mind.

At least this is a refreshing break from the old & busted get-knocked-up-to-dodge-deployment trick. This may be the first case of a woman denying pregnancy in order to deploy.

True, but are female British soldiers all in poor enough shape that they can hide a pregnancy until it suddenly delivers? I agree that a woman might not know of a pregnancy and that under certain conditions it might not show; but those "conditions" aren't generally the ones I'd expect in a front-line soldier, you know? Sure, a heavy, big-boned woman might not show until the 9th month, but fatties like that shouldn't be combat soldiers.


Not all women really show. Some gain so little weight you'd never guess.

Honestly, though, am I the only one who thought of this?
s16.postimage.org
"Mazel tov, Chief. That's a beautiful bathroom baby."
 
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