instead they give me scotch every year.. whhich I don't mind but they all hate it. So I have to drink alone.

-ts

Praline: I understand that this is Bolton.
Shopkeeper: Yes.
Praline: Well, you told me it was Ipswich.
Shopkeeper: It was a pun.
Praline: A pun?
Shopkeeper: No, no, not a pun, no. What's the other thing which reads the same backwards as forwards?
Praline: A palindrome?
Shopkeeper: Yes, yes.
Praline: It's not a palindrome. The palindrome of Bolton would be Notlob. It don't work.
Shopkeeper: Look, what do you want.
Praline: No I'm sorry, I'm not prepared to pursue my line of enquiry any further as I think this is getting too silly.

/Python

"A baseball helmet with holders for beer cans on top."

What the hell is wrong with that?

whats drew getting for the admins?

Ultimate_loser

I thought that gift was herpes...

An ab roller.

Haha, motivational posters!

"An actual turtle."

as opposed to a turtle that wasn't actually a turtle... ??

I Palindrome I

I know what I'm giving everyone for xmas this year:

"A box filled with other boxes -- there wasn't anything in any of them."

ultimate_loser


Give the gift that keeps on giving... cash.

WTF? I thought that was syphillis!

man I would love that especially if it was a Paslode cordless. yeah!

Actually, make mine the new Hilti cordless. New hotness and all.

"A baseball helmet with holders for beer cans on top."

What the hell is wrong with that?

Ah crap. I suck.

HahahahehhehNEXT!

I know what I'm giving everyone for xmas this year:

"A box filled with other boxes -- there wasn't anything in any of them."

I quit my previous job in the July 1999 in favor of a much better job... Dec. 24 of that year the rest of that company received "We're shutting down the business" for Christmas. Happy holidays!

I would dig the Hank Williams thing. Goes to show for every seat theres an...

Whats the deal with "I saw a turtle"? i saw it posted above again..

Shenanigans!

I think this article is deliberately misrepresenting the survey results... I'll bet most of these were 'white elephant' gifts (cheesy gifts under $10 for office gift exchanges), meant to be quirky or unusual (with the exception of the animals)

I once received a turkey roll that bore a Union Carbide logo. I didn't bother to open it.

Canned Meat Food Product. Nuf Ced.

"Son I am able,"
she said
"though you scare me."
"Watch," said I
"Beloved,"
I said "watch
me scare you though."
said she,
"Able am I, Son."

/Machtyn

hey MACG

i can assure you that s/he wasn't unconfortable taking your gift after not giving out bonuses!

The place i work, everyone took a paycut to "save their jobs". the salesguy was cut in half both base and percent. well the boss and his wife doubled their W2's. i know, i kept the books.

enjoy

Some supplier sent a my boss a rubber chicken once.

It ended up on prominent display in his office.

A couple of years ago a buddy of mine got our boss a plaque with cow manure on it. It had the words "Exceptional B.S. Award" or something to that effect on it.

It was very appropriate. Then 3 months later we all quit.
Good times.

Rise to vote, sir
Do geese see God?
"Do nine men interpret?" "Nine men" I nod
Rats live on no evil star
Won't lovers revolt now?
Race fast, safe car
Pa's a sap
Ma is as selfless as I am
May a moody baby doom a yam

/Yankovic

Machtyn I Palindrome I

Someday mother will die and I'll get the money
Mom leans down and says, ";My sentiments exactly,
You son of a biatch";
I palindrome I (I palindrome I)
I palindrome I (I palindrome I)
And I am a snake head eating (snake head)
The head on the opposite side (snake head)
I palindrome I (manonam)
I palindrome I (manonam)

";Son I am able,"; she said ";though you scare me.";
";Watch,"; said I
";Beloved,"; I said ";watch me scare you though."; said she,
";Able am I, Son.";

"The Star Trek: First Contact Travel Set"

Star Trek Cologne. Heh.

A half a cup of hot nuthin.

THE ultimate bad gift...

I once received a packet of seeds. With a bullshiat note attached saying, "May inspiration GROW within you this year!!!!!!!" (Caps and excessive punctuation included)

/crap

Gifts for the head of Marketing or Sales:

Joy.

Soul.

A spiffy set of morals.

"I, Madam! I made radio! So I dared! Am I mad? Am I?"

/Robinson

I used to get pretty upset with the gifts (or, the lack thereof) I would get from employers. Then, GrandpaGoth took a job in which he supervises 14 people. The company does not have a "holiday gifts" line in the budget, so anything that these people get for the holidays comes out of Grandpa's pocket.

Now, I completely understand.

a good set of kneepads, so they can continue to blow the person above them in relative comfort.

stuffed shirts suck.

I kinda like Chia Pets

Sit on a potato pan, Otis.

Last year a vendor gave me an HP logo coffee mug with a $1 Dunkin Donuts gift certificate in it.

-- Do make a contribution. If you're at a loss for ideas, consider a donation to a well-respected charitable organization in the recipient's name.

A donation on your behalf has been made to the human fund.

/not so obscure

the salesguy was cut in half

This may be the first appropriate use of a salesguy. Ever.

I once worked for a boss who was so cheap that when we'd get holiday gift baskets from clients, she'd simply send them right out the door, re-labeled, to other clients as gifts from us.

For my gift, she gave me a sweatshirt. It was one of those sweatshirts you got for free when pledging a certain amount of money for COMIC RELIEF around 12 years ago. I guess she had cleaned out her closet or something and thought we'd enjoy her old clothes. Turns out the sweatshirt was covered in cat hairs and "assorted stains."

Will N. Dowd pulled a Lilli Taylor.

Anyone wanna share the "I saw A turtle" thing. Keep seeing posted, have no idea what it means.

Hmm. A gift for my husbands former employer who still owes us a paycheck? How bout a flaming bag of shiat!
Actually if we dont get our money tonight they are getting a civil suit for christmas.

Wahooooo! An update! My husband has the check in his hands! Omg. It took a month to get paid, but at least now we can pay some bills. No lawsuit for Joo! Good decision you freaks.

woh I used to work for the company that did that survey. what in the world are they doing doing a survey!