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(Talking Points Memo)   Former GOP presidential frontrunner Rick Perry blames the separation of church and state on Satan   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) divider line 59
    More: Asinine, Rick Perry, Satans, GOP, falsehoods, frontrunners  
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7757 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Sep 2012 at 8:14 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-09-20 04:38:41 PM  
13 votes:

Blues_X: He needs a dick punch.


It's his favorite beverage.
2012-09-20 06:23:38 PM  
7 votes:

EatTheWorld: Weaver95: Theocracy is bad. I don't care what god you worship (or don't worship), any theocratic government is bad. I won't vote for it, and in fact i'll fight against it. the Founding Fathers were very smart folks. they knew that a theocratic form of government was a terrible idea, and took steps to make sure the US government wasn't infected by a state sponsored religion.

I agree. But just for funs sake, couldn't we say a government that cradles us from outside the womb to tomb, with topside government health care, food stamps, EIC, retirement, you know, kinda of like all of our real need? health, food, money, and oldfart worry free. Not that I'm saying government is good at any of these things, but they try, and mean well. To me that is a religion to the state. When the government has all that control on your food, health and money, they control you. Worse than religion actually.


Religion sucks. Government sucks. Together they make a ultra-vortex of suck. Imagine if you will, a musical duet of Rebecca Black and Creed.

It is that level of suck.
2012-09-20 05:41:47 PM  
5 votes:
"The Tooth Fairy flies across the world with her money and teeth and what have you and one of the untruths out there that is driven is that children can try to stay awake to see her.," Perry said during the call on Tuesday
2012-09-20 05:33:50 PM  
5 votes:
They'll never have the elite, smart people on their side.
2012-09-20 08:28:37 PM  
4 votes:
talkingpointsmemo.com

God is the answer to everything!

www.theblaze.com

HEY! That's MY LINE!
2012-09-20 05:55:48 PM  
4 votes:
Satan really gets a bad rap. Unlike God, there's nothing in the Bible about Satan committing genocide or killing children. All he's really accused of is hiding fossils and giving an apple to a naked chick.
2012-09-20 04:42:45 PM  
4 votes:
i575.photobucket.com
2012-09-20 08:28:48 PM  
3 votes:
Well then... thank you, Satan.
2012-09-20 06:15:35 PM  
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
I'm not sure how he could be involved in separating church and state. After all, I thought he was a right wing.
2012-09-20 04:31:10 PM  
3 votes:

Blues_X: He needs a dick punch.


You're assuming he has one.
2012-09-20 11:34:56 PM  
2 votes:
So, this God guy, he creates all of existence in 6 days. And he creates all loving things from the dust of the earth except for the human woman, which for some reason he takes a rib from man and makes her from it. Sounds like that's saying women are the property of men and are lesser beings, since they were made from existing man and not from the dust (and before he created woman God, the all-knowing one, had to ask why man was so sad and lonely as he walked alone among creatures who had male and female).

Then God tells man and woman to never, EVER touch this one tree that he decided to stick right in the center of the garden within easy reach. One day, while off taking a nap or something, God completely misses Satan waltzing in and telling woman it's okay to eat from that one special tree (not knowing right and wrong, she and man had no way of knowing it was wrong to eat from it). Then God wakes up or finishes his raid on Onyxia or whatever, wonders where the humans went, and when he finds them and finds out about the tree, he completely loses his shiat and curses the entirety of creation to punish the two humans and all of their descendents. That's like you coming home to find your two-year-old got into the cookie jar, so you nuke the entire world and toss your toddler out into it to fend for himself.

From then on, it's like a horror show: God gets so emo about humans not kowtowing to him that he nearly destroys all of creation; God constantly screws with Pharaoh so he can keep torturing Egypt; God utterly destroys a man's life in a bet with Satan when he could have just waved his hand and made Satan implode or turn into a gecko; God annihilates two cities because the inhabitants are fun-loving live-for-life people, then turns the wife of the only surviving family into salt for turning around; God slaughers a bunch of children with bears for the crime of calling someone "baldy"; God demands an old man sacrifice his only son as a test of faith (would an all-knowing being really need to do something like this?); on and on and on.

Then one day, he decides that he'll finally do something about his little cursing and punishing way back when, except instea dof just snapping his fingers and making it all better, he creates this bizarre and convoluted plan where a piece of him goes down to a woman, is born mortal, lives for a while, is brutally tortured and killed, then returns to him, and somehow that forgives mankind of his sins (except it doesn't). Then he completely vanishes and for the last 2,000 years his only works are making vague images of his son and his mother appear on toast and in paint.

Oh, and one day God will destroy the universe and take a small fraction of humanity to paradise while the rest suffer in indescribable torment for the rest of infinity.

Uwe Boll movies are less convoluted and more believeable.
2012-09-20 10:28:54 PM  
2 votes:

EatTheWorld: Weaver95: you cannot scrub the Jesus out of the Republicans no matter how hard you try

we could try? if we put Perry, Bachman, Akin, Santorum, and all their batshiat crazy friends on a boat to Fiji, I know that would be a good start.


What did Fiji ever do to you!?
2012-09-20 09:59:58 PM  
2 votes:
To err is human, but Rick Perry is asinine.
2012-09-20 09:27:16 PM  
2 votes:

simplicimus: Gothnet: my herniated disc: between this guy and the legit rape guy I really have to ask W.T.F America??

seriously... WHAT THE fark IS GOING ON DOWN THERE????!!!!!

As an outside observer all I can conclude is that the republican party is going for the religious, jingoistic, nationalist moron vote this time around, and as it's the US it stands a slim chance of working...

This time? We've been doing this for decades. What you are seeing is a nation in its death throws.


I think you mean *it's* death throws

Hey your welcome
2012-09-20 09:16:13 PM  
2 votes:
Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) shared his thoughts

That was unwise. He doesn't have enough to spare and needs all his thoughts for himself.
2012-09-20 09:08:03 PM  
2 votes:
Rick Perry is a proud man and you'd be too if you were the man whose IQ score sparked the discovery of a brand new class of numbers -- the imaginary numbers.
2012-09-20 06:58:33 PM  
2 votes:

quickdraw: Mugato: Satan really gets a bad rap. Unlike God, there's nothing in the Bible about Satan committing genocide or killing children. All he's really accused of is hiding fossils and giving an apple to a naked chick.

Mug you never disappoint me.


That's what she....never said. :(
2012-09-20 06:00:58 PM  
2 votes:
the 2nd amendment is what the founders really meant, not the 1st...they got that one wrong, but didn't cross it off because it would've meant they had to start writing it all over again. they made sure they put a good one down after that 1st amendment screw up
2012-09-20 05:55:31 PM  
2 votes:
What temptation might look like.

www.pensitoreview.com
2012-09-20 05:49:53 PM  
2 votes:
I don't think I can put it any better than user "webcelt" in TFC: Sometimes I wonder how the Republicans could pick so lousy a candidate as Romney, and then one of the primary losers speaks up and I figure it out.
2012-09-20 05:18:45 PM  
2 votes:
s10.postimage.org
2012-09-20 04:58:41 PM  
2 votes:
Perry said the separation of religious and civic institutions in the U.S. began with a "narrative" that first took root in the 1960s.

"Somehow or another there's this, ya know, steel wall, this iron curtain or whatever you want to call it between the church and people of faith and this separation of church and state is just false on its face,"


I think someone's history book has a few pages stuck together.
2012-09-20 04:11:46 PM  
2 votes:

FlashHarry: what an epic moron


At least he is a consistent one...

"We have a biblical responsibility to be involved in the public arena proclaiming God's truth."

And when thou pray, thou shall not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in
the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
But thou, when thou pray, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret...
[Matthew 6:6 & 7]
2012-09-21 04:08:45 PM  
1 votes:

neomunk: namatad: But it is crystal clear that the tards who claim to know the mind of god are delusional.

*raises hand* I... I know the Mind of God, at least partially.

It's writ large all across the universe. In every event which we perceive, the Mind (perhaps the Word) is there, obvious to all who can see.

You see, 2+2 is ALWAYS 4. The cube root of 27 is ALWAYS 3. Without fail. Every time. EVERY TIME. If omnipotence exists, it most certainly has dictated that the ruleset we know as mathematics is trump, irresistible in effect and omniscient in its ability to account for every related variable.

Math is the OS of reality. That HAS to be the will of any existing God.

Now that you know my Canon, and I have told you that I know (at least partially) the mind of God do you think I should be denigrated as a fool for my religious beliefs?


I've seen this movie!

www.filmmakermagazine.com

"11:15, restate my assumptions: 1. Mathematics is the language of nature. 2. Everything around us can be represented and understood through numbers. 3. If you graph these numbers, patterns emerge. Therefore: There are patterns everywhere in nature."
2012-09-21 01:21:00 AM  
1 votes:

TheVeryDeadIanMartin: thisisyourbrainonFark: What temptation might look like.

[www.pensitoreview.com image 550x344]

Just curious, why do American politicians have to eat sausages? Is it the same as having to wear a flag lapel pin? Wouldn't it make more sense to eat a hamburger?


For the GOP, it's called a Banger in the Mouth. It's an acceptable way to repress their deepest desires of chewing on meat.

/ Mrs Fingerbottom
// err, Featherbottom.
/// I've made a huge mistake.
2012-09-21 12:37:07 AM  
1 votes:

MrHappyRotter: To err is human, but Rick Perry is asinine.


You should have 'verbed' Rick Perry.

To err is human, to Rick Perry is asinine.
2012-09-21 12:04:27 AM  
1 votes:

EatTheWorld: Weaver95: Theocracy is bad. I don't care what god you worship (or don't worship), any theocratic government is bad. I won't vote for it, and in fact i'll fight against it. the Founding Fathers were very smart folks. they knew that a theocratic form of government was a terrible idea, and took steps to make sure the US government wasn't infected by a state sponsored religion.

I agree. But just for funs sake, couldn't we say a government that cradles us from outside the womb to tomb, with topside government health care, food stamps, EIC, retirement, you know, kinda of like all of our real need? health, food, money, and oldfart worry free. Not that I'm saying government is good at any of these things, but they try, and mean well. To me that is a religion to the state. When the government has all that control on your food, health and money, they control you. Worse than religion actually.


Wow.. that's the kind of "logic" that brought us intelligent design. Take something that makes perfect sense (Theocracy: Bad), put it through the religiopretzelometer (Yeah, but Social Security equals Theocracy), and viola! My brain bleeds.

You guys are, like, really good at that!
2012-09-20 11:58:14 PM  
1 votes:

Keizer_Ghidorah: simplicimus: Keizer_Ghidorah: So, this God guy, he creates all of existence in 6 days. And he creates all loving things from the dust of the earth except for the human woman, which for some reason he takes a rib from man and makes her from it. Sounds like that's saying women are the property of men and are lesser beings, since they were made from existing man and not from the dust (and before he created woman God, the all-knowing one, had to ask why man was so sad and lonely as he walked alone among creatures who had male and female)...
Cool, except that Eve was woman 2.0. Version 1.0 was Lilith..

Who refused to be dominated during sex and was tossed out of the garden by God, then ran off and humped demons.


Well, everyone has a hobby.
2012-09-20 11:36:11 PM  
1 votes:
politicalmadness.org

/ image pops to host
2012-09-20 10:46:38 PM  
1 votes:
media.tumblr.com
2012-09-20 10:25:56 PM  
1 votes:
Rick Perry and I have some things in common. For instance, I have an ass hole and he is one.
2012-09-20 10:09:36 PM  
1 votes:
You know, Rick Perry sometimes gets a bum rape.
2012-09-20 09:59:21 PM  
1 votes:
Perry's pick for US Senate lost in the Republican primary to an extremist, heavily financed "Tea Party Favorite©" so it's confusing which Satan he's talking about.

That Tea Party was invented to replace the Christian Coalition which lost all non-profit status in almost every state but Texas due to partisan politics. The Tea Party was to be a secular version.

As to unseparation of church and state, there are four religions in the US at least that have practical experience in being the state religion and Perry's evangelical non-aligned slippery theology outfits are not one.  Is he shopping for Roman Catholic (was Texas official religion until 1836), Anglican, Islam or Othodox Judaism? Maybe Buddhist, Zoroastrian, whatever. If you're going to govern by religion, you need a religion with experience, you can't just do it by faith.
2012-09-20 09:59:18 PM  
1 votes:

MrHappyRotter: Don't blink, you might miss it when Rick Perry actually does something awesome for a change.


Unless it's Seppuku, I don't care.
2012-09-20 09:41:23 PM  
1 votes:
They say that every time a woman aborts her child, Rick Perry grows another chromosome.
2012-09-20 09:23:30 PM  
1 votes:
What happens when the denomination of the elected official changes? There are so many differences between the doctrine of the denominations. Perry mistakenly overestimates the evangelical demographic. What would he do if a tight-asses church of christer bans dancing and musical instruments and wine communion(they prefer grape juice.) That would really piss off the catholics and lutherans, who love to party down.

Pentecostals will be opening government run faith healing clinics where epileptics and drug users are exorcised of their demons. This is going to be very offensive to the Mormons, who will ban smoking, coffee and red bull. Baptists themselves have everything from the footwashing to the spirit filled and those two groups don't agree on much of anything either, except that everyone needs a good dunking.

What if your evangelical raised child gets an episcopal teacher? It will be anarchy, religious wars and total mayhem. This is why I oppose separation of church and state, it would be freaking hilarious to witness the total meltdown.
2012-09-20 09:11:38 PM  
1 votes:
When you've been dealing with painful stomach and intestinal cramps for hours on end, there's nothing more refreshing than finally being able to take a giant Rick Perry. It's almost as refreshing as Rick Perrying in a hotel bathroom when everyone's going to be away for awhile so you don't have to be embarrassed about the sounds or the smells.
2012-09-20 09:03:22 PM  
1 votes:

EatTheWorld: Religious freedom or lack of one at all is just as much a cornerstone of our nation as is free speech or the 2nd. The bible thumpers are killing republicans.

Rick Perry leaves one to thank god for satan... goddamnit you moron you are not helping.


The worst/best part is that we have MANY perfect examples of what the US would look like if these people got their way and were able to push their religion via the state. The islamic world is a poster child for why a free society must have freedom of and from religion.

You know what might work?? Trying to convince more of these wackjobs to bring the Word of Jesus to the islamic world!!! "Please, they are praying on saturday and dont believe in the trinity!!! it is your duty to save them!!!"
2012-09-20 08:48:01 PM  
1 votes:

yourmomlovestetris: Silly Jesus: Being religious should automatically disqualify one from holding public office.

Oh? And how would you define "religious?" What if someone holds onto a socio-political idoloegy which functions just like a religion but doesn't involve the worship of a god? I know atheists who firmly believe that certains stripes of radical feminism, Marxism and environmentalism to be defacto religions in and of themselves. (Involving something resembling Original Sin [patriarchy, pollution], and the belief that one can attain a heavenly utopia on earth just by observing certain rules and behaviors. And believing that it's right to force people into adopting the way of life THEY believe is best for everybody.) One doesn't have to believe in a god to hold irrational, emotion-based beliefs. Or to be a menace to free people everywhere.


By reading the rest of this post of yours, I suppose.
2012-09-20 08:44:56 PM  
1 votes:
I recall with pleasure the day that this asshole's "Strong" video on Youtube got 100,000 dislikes within 12 hours of it being posted. Fark was a part of that. Good times.

I see that it now has over 770,000 dislikes.

Link

For those who don't want to click on the link, here's the text of his political ad:

I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian, but you don't need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.

As President, I'll end Obama's war on religion. And I'll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage.

Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again.

I'm Rick Perry and I approve this message


770k dislikes. Nobody likes you, Rick, you stupid coont. STFU, GTFO, and DIAF.
2012-09-20 08:41:25 PM  
1 votes:
In the bible, God runs things and Satan is nearly powerless
In "reality", Satan runs things and God is nearly powerless.
2012-09-20 08:40:24 PM  
1 votes:

EatTheWorld: Darwin's Prophet: And so the race for the Republican 2016 nomination begins.

OMG can we do better than a Daily Show emmy season next time please? Like serious people? Maybe? PLEASE?


this isn't working out very well for you.
2012-09-20 08:36:14 PM  
1 votes:

meat0918: Perry should also be reminded then that according to his Bible, all earthly authority derives from God.

Therefore, God chose Obama.

//Also, revolt is a sin just like witchcraft, so knock off the secession talk!


That's one thing that really drives them nuts. I remember my great aunt going on and on about how God himself put Reagan in power. When I asked her why God then allowed Clinton to be President, she just got angry and changed the subject.
2012-09-20 08:36:04 PM  
1 votes:

Unoriginal_Username: This just solidifies my belief that these fundies are jealous of their Muslim counterparts.


As they should be. When their Muslim counterparts turn the derp up to 11, all of the enlightened types around here come out of the woodwork to defend them with cries of "overzealous staffer!" and "isolated incident!" Here, we just treat them all like the retards they are.
2012-09-20 08:35:07 PM  
1 votes:
blog.planetpreterist.com
2012-09-20 08:32:29 PM  
1 votes:
Exactly what I would expect the antichrist to say.
2012-09-20 08:23:23 PM  
1 votes:

Diogenes: The funniest thing about these jerks is that they don't realize (or deliberately choose not to, which is much worse) that the separation clause is there to protect them as much as it is to protect our form of governance. It's a two-way street.


Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity. They do believe in fairy tales after all.
2012-09-20 08:21:16 PM  
1 votes:

Weaver95: EatTheWorld: Somacandra: Statism exists in a variety of ideological flavors. Its not a religion itself though--religions have rituals. Specific nationalisms on the other hand are quite religious. American civil religion has its sacred scriptures (Const, DOI), its rituals (voting, pledge of allegiance) and its mythic narrative it convinces itself its about (twirling, ever-twirling towards freedom and progress).

semantics I say. What is the difference between fanaticism for the church or the state?

while that's an interesting side discussion, it's not really all that relevant to THIS conversation...which is about a key member of the Republican party who's pretty open about his wish to turn the USA into a theocratic regime.


In a perverse way, that attempt would be fun to watch. Fundies vs Liberal Christians. Live on pay per view.
2012-09-20 08:19:42 PM  
1 votes:
This just solidifies my belief that these fundies are jealous of their Muslim counterparts. They are upset that the middle east has a working theocracy and we don't
2012-09-20 08:13:14 PM  
1 votes:

EatTheWorld: What is the difference between fanaticism for the church or the state?


A wall of separation between state and state.
2012-09-20 08:12:34 PM  
1 votes:

EatTheWorld: semantics I say. What is the difference between fanaticism for the church or the state?




www.fcps.edu
2012-09-20 08:12:21 PM  
1 votes:

dickfreckle: Do you charlatan sh*tstains ever get tired of using the word "warfare" to describe what's actually "we're pitching b*tch-fits whenever we can't force our dogma on the public?" Whiny-ass, spiteful p*ssies, the lot of you


Take your war on warfare elsewhere libtard!

♪ God, bless, America... Land that I love..♪
2012-09-20 07:34:13 PM  
1 votes:

EatTheWorld: And it seems clear that is the way democrats want it. Therefore the liberal religion is born.


You're serious, aren't you.
2012-09-20 06:52:49 PM  
1 votes:

Mugato: Satan really gets a bad rap. Unlike God, there's nothing in the Bible about Satan committing genocide or killing children. All he's really accused of is hiding fossils and giving an apple to a naked chick.


Cue Pacino: "Why not? I'm here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began. I've nurtured every sensation man's been inspired to have. I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him. Why? Because I never rejected him. In spite of all his imperfections, I'm a fan of man! I'm a humanist. Maybe the last humanist. "
2012-09-20 05:56:41 PM  
1 votes:

Lumpmoose: Let's just get these out of the way:

Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between Man & his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, & not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should "make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof," thus building an iron curtain has descended across the Continent. Behind that line lie all the capitals of the ancient states of Central and Eastern Europe. Warsaw, Berlin, Prague, Vienna, Budapest, Belgrade, Bucharest and Sofia, all these famous cities and the populations around them lie in what I must call the Soviet sphere" - Winston Churchill


FTFY
2012-09-20 05:51:18 PM  
1 votes:

meat0918: Perry should also be reminded then that according to his Bible, all earthly authority derives from God.

Therefore, God chose Obama.

//Also, revolt is a sin just like witchcraft, so knock off the secession talk!


You cannot use that word. It resonates with reason. This is counter to evangelicalism.
2012-09-20 05:44:51 PM  
1 votes:
Does Rick Perry believe in Voodoo dolls, Ouija boards, Tarot Cards, and other nonsense?
2012-09-20 05:42:36 PM  
1 votes:
Perry should also be reminded then that according to his Bible, all earthly authority derives from God.

Therefore, God chose Obama.

//Also, revolt is a sin just like witchcraft, so knock off the secession talk!
2012-09-20 04:12:17 PM  
1 votes:
He needs a dick punch.
 
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