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(CNN)   Worried that your "restless leg" and "carpal tunnel" syndromes just aren't getting you enough attention anymore? Good news, modern technology has introduced a brand-new illness onto the market: "text neck." Start filing those claims   (cnn.com) divider line 101
    More: Stupid, Dr. Dean, vascular disease, Kaiser Family Foundation  
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3369 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Sep 2012 at 1:24 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-20 11:24:38 AM
Submitter, MD
 
2012-09-20 11:24:42 AM
Not paying out on self inflicted injuries is your friend.
 
2012-09-20 11:34:02 AM
I don't have time for this nonsense. I'm on the phone with my attorney about my Microwave Popcorn Lung, Internet Porn Elbow and 7-Layer Burrito Prolapsed Anus.
 
2012-09-20 12:33:22 PM
blogs.colette.fr
 
2012-09-20 12:57:17 PM
I have MILF Porn Wrist.
 
2012-09-20 01:25:41 PM
I'm too sick from my peanut allergy and ADHD to fill out any forms.
 
2012-09-20 01:25:53 PM
It was only a matter of time.

Look around at everyone waiting for a train to work in the morning and 80% of them have their chins tucked into their necks, staring at their mobile devices.

Who wants to work that into the Evolution of Man diagram?
 
2012-09-20 01:28:15 PM

lostcat: It was only a matter of time.

Look around at everyone waiting for a train to work in the morning and 80% of them have their chins tucked into their necks, staring at their mobile devices.

Who wants to work that into the Evolution of Man diagram?


It used to be, in old-timey science fiction, that men of the future would have weak spindly bodies and huge heads from not working and doing everything with their mind.

We need a new SF theme wherein people have a permanent downturn to the neck, and huge nimble thumbs, while their hands have withered away except as stands for their Blackberries.
 
2012-09-20 01:29:32 PM
I suffer from Sexting Penis.
 
2012-09-20 01:29:47 PM

PC LOAD LETTER: I have MILF Porn Wrist.


Really, you can focus on one genre? My wrist injuries are far more diverse.
 
2012-09-20 01:30:40 PM
I've had carpal tunnel syndrome and had to have surgery to relieve the numbness and pain in my hand and arm. That's after months of receiving the most painful steroid injections into my wrist.

The point I'm trying to make here is that Subby can suck a dick.
 
2012-09-20 01:36:17 PM
Article fails to mention that this "injury" is largely intentionally inflicted:

www.freetattoodesigns.org
 
2012-09-20 01:38:15 PM

Gyrfalcon: lostcat: It was only a matter of time.

Look around at everyone waiting for a train to work in the morning and 80% of them have their chins tucked into their necks, staring at their mobile devices.

Who wants to work that into the Evolution of Man diagram?

It used to be, in old-timey science fiction, that men of the future would have weak spindly bodies and huge heads from not working and doing everything with their mind.

We need a new SF theme wherein people have a permanent downturn to the neck, and huge nimble thumbs, while their hands have withered away except as stands for their Blackberries.


Wanna know how I know you're old?
 
2012-09-20 01:38:16 PM
So these jackwagons are in the same position that they would be in to read a book? Man up ya pansies!
 
2012-09-20 01:39:02 PM

Gyrfalcon: lostcat: It was only a matter of time.

Look around at everyone waiting for a train to work in the morning and 80% of them have their chins tucked into their necks, staring at their mobile devices.

Who wants to work that into the Evolution of Man diagram?

It used to be, in old-timey science fiction, that men of the future would have weak spindly bodies and huge heads from not working and doing everything with their mind.

We need a new SF theme wherein people have a permanent downturn to the neck, and huge nimble thumbs, while their hands have withered away except as stands for their Blackberries.


I fail to see why either of those things would happen. Human society is at a point where pretty much anyone can reproduce. Survival of the fittest no longer occurs. Human evolution has halted and the race will remain stagnant until some kind of catastrophe makes living truly difficult again.
 
2012-09-20 01:39:09 PM

Popcorn Johnny: I've had carpal tunnel syndrome and had to have surgery to relieve the numbness and pain in my hand and arm. That's after months of receiving the most painful steroid injections into my wrist.

The point I'm trying to make here is that Subby can suck a dick.


Yeah, since when is carpal tunnel lumped in with the other ailments considered "fake" by the Fark MDs??
 
2012-09-20 01:39:26 PM
Oh, and about the Carpal Tunnel quip, fark you subby.
 
2012-09-20 01:41:18 PM
Getting me enough attention? Hell, in real life I've been way too embarrassed to tell anyone (even a doctor) about my RLS symptoms, because it seems like such a stupid, made-up thing to have. But I tell you, it's real, and it's really annoying.
 
2012-09-20 01:42:36 PM
Worried that your "restless leg" and "carpal tunnel" syndromes just aren't getting you enough attention anymore?

imagemacros.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-09-20 01:42:41 PM
Oooh, is this the thread where we mock people for having injuries and illnesses which must be fake because we don't have them?

I'll start us off: Schizophrenia is nothing but people with really powerful imaginations!
 
2012-09-20 01:42:48 PM
I was of the impression that carpal tunnel is a real affliction that develops from genuine circumstances.

Of course, my brain might be so clouded from the pain of fibromyalgia that I'm not thinking right ...

(My mouth is awfully dry, too. If only there were some substance I could put in there so it would not be so.)
 
ows
2012-09-20 01:44:30 PM
well, we got a french bee telling us to take this "medicine" to make us feel better (side effects are sore throat, nausea,viral infections, ect....), so.... whats next? a crazy dutch bastard with a pill for skin problems?
 
2012-09-20 01:45:07 PM

SuperChuck:
I fail to see why either of those things would happen. Human society is at a point where pretty much anyone can reproduce. Survival of the fittest no longer occurs. Human evolution has halted and the race will remain stagnant until some kind of catastrophe makes living truly difficult again.

 

No, Survival of the fittest and evolution still apply to humans. The only thing that has changed and ever changes is the definition of "fit". Fitness is whatever collections of traits that will help an organism survive to reproduce in it's current environment.
 
2012-09-20 01:45:22 PM

Perducci: I'm too sick from my peanut allergy and ADHD to fill out any forms.


This just is, peanut allergies are totally fake!
 
2012-09-20 01:47:10 PM
"I knew I had something," Fishman Brantgoose says.

Seriously. I spend so much time at the keyboard I have neck pain. I am trying to reduce it by using two screens at the same time more often and by reducing the number of pillows on my bed when I sleep so my head is not over-supported.

What I really need to do is go out and walk more like I used to do.

Mind you, the old Kindle isn't going to help with my neck pain, nor is watching TV shows and movies on my iPad. If it hurts, stop doing it. That's the medical equivalent of "if you find yourself at the bottom of a deep hole, the first thing to do is stop digging".

Media addiction is a pain in the neck.

As near as I can diagnose myself, the problem is compression between the seventh and eighth vertebrae. Mind you, the left hand side of my body has always been more prone to pain. I expect there is hereditary weakness on my left side as I have numerous small problems like those of my maternal grandparents (who were third cousins or so and had similar health problems).

If you are skeptical rather than a hypochondriac, you can learn a lot about your health problems on the web from visiting only the most reliable sites and eliminating all but the most likely causes.

Sadly, all deseases have the same symptoms, and all symptoms are symptomic of every disease, so diagnosis is really hard. I don't know how Doctors manage to get any thing right. My guess is that they consult the real health experts, nurses. Many a patient is kept alive by the wisdom of nurses and pharmacists, who realize that Doctors are over-worked idiots and compensate for this by correcting their more obvious (and some obscure) errors constantly.

Doctors really need to work on their bedside manner and time management skills, as well as basic communication. The more perceptive nurses and pharmacists get to know their patients REAL problems and behaviour well enough to do the Doctor's job better than the doctor in many cases. They'll know about the side-effects of the medicine and whether the patient is taking it.

It's not always incompetence or the Doctor's fault. What can you learn about a patient you see for 10 to fifteen minutes? Patients aren't very good at talking to doctors. We patients need to take more notes, maybe keep a journal or diary to record our concerns and pains as they happen or daily. You have to take responsability but respect and learn to use the Doctor's training and expertise as well, even if they are not a particularly good Doctor.
 
2012-09-20 01:47:24 PM
Please. My neck creaks when I get hungry because of all those hours playing Pokemon hunched over my dinner table as a kid to get enough light to play it inside.
/Run on sentence is long.
 
2012-09-20 01:50:44 PM
i.ytimg.com

Still no cure for Taco Neck.

/hot
 
2012-09-20 01:52:20 PM
Is this one of those threads where a bunch of retards think legitimate ailments are made up because their mom forwarded them an email saying so?

Also, people who say RLS can be fixed by exercising should be automatically punched in the throat. With a five pound sledge.
 
2012-09-20 01:52:46 PM
Nice troll assmitter. Hope submitting the headline helps trigger carpal tunnel in your fapping wrist.
 
2012-09-20 01:52:53 PM
I can't even read it cause I'm just soooo bi-polar today!
 
2012-09-20 01:55:37 PM

lakrfool: I suffer from Sexting Penis.


stop sexting yourself, stop sexting yourself, stop sexting yourself, stop sexting yourself
 
2012-09-20 01:55:43 PM
Oh wow. Another thread where keyboard "doctors" carry on the time-worn tradition of "you're making that up, GBTW."

Awesome. I can't wait to ingest some of these indefensible positions.
 
2012-09-20 01:57:44 PM
Since when is carpal tunnel considered fake? I know people that have had it really bad and needed surgery. They could barely grip anything because of the weakness and pain and the whole hand goes numb constantly. In the worst cases it's hard to pick stuff up without dropping it.
 
2012-09-20 01:58:31 PM

SuperChuck: ...Human society is at a point where pretty much anyone can reproduce. Survival of the fittest no longer occurs. Human evolution has halted and the race will remain stagnant until some kind of catastrophe makes living truly difficult again.



img38.imageshack.us
 
2012-09-20 02:02:56 PM

ows: well, we got a french bee telling us to take this "medicine" to make us feel better (side effects are sore throat, nausea,viral infections, ect....)


Antonio Banderas is French??
 
2012-09-20 02:11:25 PM
I think I've got restless leg syndrome. Lying in bed some nights, my left leg (which I broke several years ago) will just jerk violently like I'm high-stepping. And there's this dull constant desire to flex my knee and hip joint. Sometimes in the middle of the night it'll jerk me awake, literally, and I'll pull my knee up and rotate the joint. Sometimes the joint pops at the hip and that seems to help. Other nights it just won't go away and I'll get up and pace the apartment. Annoying.
 
2012-09-20 02:14:32 PM
Carpal tunnel is real. And a valid reason for disability if you're job involves repetitive hand motions.

But the mental stuff people fake to get on disability? That ticks me off. Almost any shrink can be played. I swear the Americans with Disabilities Act has been so completely misused by the psych docs that I now favor it's complete repeal. A disability means you absolutely cannot perform work. Mere "conditions" like ADD, ADHD, social anxiety disorders are NOT disabilities. But thanks to the ADA and those lovable quacks that certify them, they are a meal ticket to cash assistance, housing assistance and of course the thing they were after to begin with, free drugs!!
 
2012-09-20 02:16:53 PM
Back in my day we called it Book Neck. Guard Rail Groin was something that came out of walking while reading too.
 
2012-09-20 02:19:37 PM

Ihaveanevilparrot: Since when is carpal tunnel considered fake?


It's fake. It's just another example of something people use to get out of work and waste company resources while getting a nice week of paid "sick" leave.
 
2012-09-20 02:20:08 PM
Morgellons is fake.
 
2012-09-20 02:20:33 PM

Barnstormer: Carpal tunnel is real. And a valid reason for disability if you're job involves repetitive hand motions.

But the mental stuff people fake to get on disability? That ticks me off. Almost any shrink can be played. I swear the Americans with Disabilities Act has been so completely misused by the psych docs that I now favor it's complete repeal. A disability means you absolutely cannot perform work. Mere "conditions" like ADD, ADHD, social anxiety disorders are NOT disabilities. But thanks to the ADA and those lovable quacks that certify them, they are a meal ticket to cash assistance, housing assistance and of course the thing they were after to begin with, free drugs!!


Wow, when's the book coming out, "Doctor?"
 
2012-09-20 02:24:31 PM
Subby is a dumbass troll. My mom had two surgeries for carpal tunnel and I don't doubt some people have restless leg issues.

Anyway, I can see how this is feasible from the standpoint of having poor posture or sitting at your desk trying to text and conceal the phone from view. Its stupid but certainly believable.
 
2012-09-20 02:26:32 PM

Barnstormer: Carpal tunnel is real. And a valid reason for disability if you're job involves repetitive hand motions.

But the mental stuff people fake to get on disability? That ticks me off. Almost any shrink can be played. I swear the Americans with Disabilities Act has been so completely misused by the psych docs that I now favor it's complete repeal. A disability means you absolutely cannot perform work. Mere "conditions" like ADD, ADHD, social anxiety disorders are NOT disabilities. But thanks to the ADA and those lovable quacks that certify them, they are a meal ticket to cash assistance, housing assistance and of course the thing they were after to begin with, free drugs!!


I hope you develop a debilitating anxiety disorder. Yes, it absolutely CAN be a disability.
 
2012-09-20 02:28:05 PM

Lachwen: Barnstormer: Carpal tunnel is real. And a valid reason for disability if you're job involves repetitive hand motions.

But the mental stuff people fake to get on disability? That ticks me off. Almost any shrink can be played. I swear the Americans with Disabilities Act has been so completely misused by the psych docs that I now favor it's complete repeal. A disability means you absolutely cannot perform work. Mere "conditions" like ADD, ADHD, social anxiety disorders are NOT disabilities. But thanks to the ADA and those lovable quacks that certify them, they are a meal ticket to cash assistance, housing assistance and of course the thing they were after to begin with, free drugs!!

I hope you develop a debilitating anxiety disorder. Yes, it absolutely CAN be a disability.


With that kind of blatant Freeper paranoia, it's very possible.
 
2012-09-20 02:28:09 PM

Lachwen: Barnstormer: Carpal tunnel is real. And a valid reason for disability if you're job involves repetitive hand motions.

But the mental stuff people fake to get on disability? That ticks me off. Almost any shrink can be played. I swear the Americans with Disabilities Act has been so completely misused by the psych docs that I now favor it's complete repeal. A disability means you absolutely cannot perform work. Mere "conditions" like ADD, ADHD, social anxiety disorders are NOT disabilities. But thanks to the ADA and those lovable quacks that certify them, they are a meal ticket to cash assistance, housing assistance and of course the thing they were after to begin with, free drugs!!

I hope you develop a debilitating anxiety disorder. Yes, it absolutely CAN be a disability.


Not to mention anxiety can develop awful symptoms when your body just goes full retard. Your mind is very powerful and for some people, difficult to control.
 
2012-09-20 02:28:14 PM

someonelse: Getting me enough attention? Hell, in real life I've been way too embarrassed to tell anyone (even a doctor) about my RLS symptoms, because it seems like such a stupid, made-up thing to have. But I tell you, it's real, and it's really annoying.


I feel the same way. I also feel bad for my husband, as I'm usually kicking his ass in the middle of the night.
 
2012-09-20 02:34:32 PM

Barnstormer: Carpal tunnel is real. And a valid reason for disability if you're job involves repetitive hand motions.

But the mental stuff people fake to get on disability? That ticks me off. Almost any shrink can be played. I swear the Americans with Disabilities Act has been so completely misused by the psych docs that I now favor it's complete repeal. A disability means you absolutely cannot perform work. Mere "conditions" like ADD, ADHD, social anxiety disorders are NOT disabilities. But thanks to the ADA and those lovable quacks that certify them, they are a meal ticket to cash assistance, housing assistance and of course the thing they were after to begin with, free drugs!!


While I don't disagree that some people do abuse the system, you are woefully uninformed if you feel that mental illness cannot be a debilitating disability. Also, psych drugs don't generally get you high. They don't "make you happy" either.
 
2012-09-20 02:39:01 PM
Pretty sure the "free drugs" bit was a tip of the hand, people...
 
2012-09-20 02:47:58 PM

Ehcks: Morgellons is fake.


That actually does seem fake, and borderline insane. Which, if it is real, would totally suck for the people who have it.
 
2012-09-20 02:48:55 PM

someonelse: Ehcks: Morgellons is fake.

That actually does seem fake, and borderline insane. Which, if it is real, would totally suck for the people who have it.


Also, thank you for reminding me of what it's called. I can never remember the name. All I can call it is "that thing Joni Mitchell thinks she has."
 
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