I for one welcome our new chip planting overlords.

Hey, I'm on a roll! Three links approved in approximately 24 hours. This TotalFark subscription is paying off! w00t!

Great, now thieves will just come and chop off my arm to pay for their crap.

Stand by for the mad rush of dismemberment roberies...

Catchr, why do you have to be so unwitty and uncreative?

*I* was going to post that.

sure hope they don't get together with these guys: http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/11/06/findlaw.analysis.ramasastry.matrix/index.htm l

Haywood:

Looks like you need a TotalFark subscription so you can beat the rush!

Bah, a4dzac beat me to it...=P

I summon Bevets to provide the Biblical passge regarding the Mark of the Beast. Plus, with Arnold being governor we're yet another step closer to Demolition Man.

On a serious note... this shiat worries me. I am not a big fan of this kind of technology.

Don't let the IRS get a hold of this one. I can see it now. Upon leaving work: *ding* "You have been taxed $6.23 for todays work day, thank you."

faxinator - If I subscribed to TF, I might as well quit my job at the same time. I spend too much time here as it is.

"Meanwhile, Applied Digital has attracted scorn from some fundamentalist Christians, who believe that VeriChip is the fabled "mark of the beast" of biblical lore. According to the book of Revelation, Satan will someday force people to "receive a mark" on their hands or foreheads in order to buy or sell."

I was thinking, no way I'm gonna get one of those implants. Then I read THAT passage! I want to be the first in my neighborhood to get the Mark of the Beast. How much ass does THAT kick!

faxinator
Sorry, but this is my link.

Been there done that.
Demolition Man 1993

who the hell comes up with this crap? and why does it sound like some serious cover for something like a people tracking device... lowjack for everyone!

Robbers will just invent a nifty little gadget that fits in the palm of their hand - when you shake hands with someone, it grabs their number and stores it. Or there will be a hack for the chip in your hand that grabs the numbers, then uses them randomly when making purchases... This doesn't seem safer. It's more scary when you might lose body parts to thieves instead of just your wallet!

BlobBrain, we've already got that.

Try to get a job or do much of anything without a Social Security number. Didn't used to be that way.

Come on, every crank knows that bar codes are the number of the beast. BAR CODES, people. These people are a day late and a dollar short on the Armaggedon bandwagon.

I hope these goddam chips never become mandatory.

So what happens if you fark up and they take your credit cards away?!?

bigdork666:

I won't argue with you. As a TF'er I saw my link go into the queue, and this is the exact headline I submitted.

So, what effect will this have on the Rapture Index?

This combined with the Terrorist Information Awareness system is just getting too creepy.

Dude rasskull you are one paranoid sumgun. Of course there will be built in protection. I mean what kind of company would spend millions of dollars in production, testing and marketing just to have it vulnerable to attacks, I mean what kind of ignorant stupid logic would that be if a huge conglomerate were to gain confidence in the public only to leave them completely open to hacks, phreaks, crackers, thieves, government snoops, etc.? This would be the work of the devil and any such possibility would be a blasphemous rouse to be used only as parable for teaching the youth a moral.

/Official straight man for Microsoft jokes

Muhahahaha!! You will all be mine soon! Prepare for the apocalypse!

OMG! Applied Digital Solutions written backwards spells, "I worship satan"! Aggh! This has to be the end!

Thieves have been chopping off fingers to get at rings since they were invented. Big deal.

I'm sorry, sir. But both your left and right hands have been declined. Is there another appendage you would like to submit?

Thank you for asking, mam. But I really don't think scanning your Norplant will pay the bill.

I don't like this... nope... don't like it one bit.

...As it was Written...

...no joking this time.

Repent, ye Farkers!

Why would fundies be scared of stuff like this? Don't they want to "end times" to start so Jeebus comes back? I don't get it.

Someone needs to port it to Linux and hack it. Give my bank account 1 gajillion dollars....

Pursuivant: You mean when fingers were invented thieves found out the sweet delicious meat between the thumb and forefinger could be stolen for a delicious snack!?! Umm, sounds grand, so how do you remove this delicacy from its owner? Also, what dipping sauces suit Hispanics versus Southeast Asians?

//digit delights deemed delicious

I certianly believe in the end times and in the book of Revalation. It is too convoluted for me to say what I think it means, however, and I am not claiming that this is the mark of the beast, but this certianly scares me. If it becomes mandatory, I'm finding a nice cave somewhere to wait out the storm.

If it becomes mandatory, I'm finding a nice cave somewhere to wait out the storm.

I smell a Fark party!

Oh man..this is hilarious...did anyone follow this link? That logo is too funny:

I smell bear shiat.

The Republicans will implement this device after the next (and final) presidential election.

you can't put money on a chip. right now forging money is fairly limited, if i come up with a decent forged $20, i can only share it with so many people before i get caught.

but if money were truly untraceable and digital, and i hacked a 'cash card', then the best way to protect myself is to share it with as many people as possible. and then the system is truly farked.
(if digital money were traceable, it wouldn't replace cash).

the chip guys are just trying to do an end-run around mastercard/visa's monopoly on traceable payment.

the obvious simple application is to tie a biometric (thumbprint, retinal scan) with a credit card. but that involves using the credit card monopoly. if they use this 'chip', well then they can create their own unique identifier, banking consortium, purchase authorization service and whatnot.
(MC/Visa make their money off the businesses that accept them and the banks that issue them. The issuing bank handles the risk and the interest for the end user)

I do dig on the idea of not having to worry about losing/forgetting my credit card. (Hell for that matter let me program my car to let this chip act as a key.)
But I do not dig on the idea of having it stolen.

oh, and for biometrics it is trivial to ensure that the appendage being measured is still attached to a living body. Demolition man this is not.

ben thar don tat indeed. Revlotn sez ya gotsta hav da mak on yr rit hnd n yr furhed. Tis RF ant it cuz itz only 1 pees (!2) n cn b neware n yr bod.

is it really wise to store something of value that others may want to steal underneathe the skin?

SCHWEET!!! This means them bastards can't steal my wallet now!!! They'll have to take an arm or a leg!!!!

Oh....wait a second.......

Since someone asked where this was in the bible..

Revelation 13:16-18

He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead, so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name. This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666.

Bah, they just need to make sure that the chip has to be implanted in your sternum or something. Don't put it in the hand or forehead and the fundies will have to find something else to rant about.

Ok, ok, they won't.