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(CBS Sacramento)   Neighbors won't stop playing shiatty gospel music? Set up your big screen on the back deck and blare a porno. That'll show 'em   (sacramento.cbslocal.com) divider line 107
    More: Asinine, porn, counters  
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11538 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Sep 2012 at 6:22 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-19 10:43:21 PM  
I recommend some Rammstein's entire catalogue on an infinite loop with speakers attached to any walls that are shared.
 
2012-09-19 11:16:02 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com



Absurdist comedy FTFW!
 
2012-09-19 11:27:06 PM  
Dogma. On loop.
 
2012-09-19 11:54:44 PM  

jimmyego: I recommend some Rammstein's entire catalogue on an infinite loop with speakers attached to any walls that are shared.


The last 30 seconds of "Das Modell" on loop.

/either version
 
2012-09-20 12:35:32 AM  

jimmyego: I recommend some Rammstein's entire catalogue on an infinite loop with speakers attached to any walls that are shared.


Stack on a little Aphex Twin, Squarepusher, and Combichrist, and now youre talking!
 
2012-09-20 12:59:00 AM  
Um, Cool/Hero tag too busy fapping to show up here?
 
2012-09-20 01:04:56 AM  
Makes sense. There's probably an equal number of "OH GOD!"s to each medium.
 
2012-09-20 01:08:42 AM  
Was it synchronized?

/dnrtfa
 
2012-09-20 02:25:00 AM  
Once upon a time I had a downstairs neighbor from hell who would put on a 45 of "Mommas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys" with the spindle up so that it would play over and over and over for hours.

We cured him of that by tipping the Big Speakers face down and playing the Basil Polidorus soundtrack to "Conan the Barbarian" on 11.
 
2012-09-20 02:45:04 AM  
How is that Assinine, submitter? If they want to play their crappy gospel music, I have every right under the First Amendment, thanks to Larry Flint, to blast pornographic moans back at them.

Although, if you ask me, Gospel is a musical weapon of mass destruction. The only response it can demand in kind is purchasing a long range accoustical device, and using it to deliver prescision targeted Insane Clown Posse music.
 
2012-09-20 03:38:52 AM  
"OH GOD!!! YES!!! JESUS, YES, SWEET JESUS!!! OH GOD!!!"

Yeah, that'll learn 'em aw right.
 
2012-09-20 04:18:34 AM  

BronyMedic: How is that Assinine, submitter? If they want to play their crappy gospel music, I have every right under the First Amendment, thanks to Larry Flint, to blast pornographic moans back at them.

Although, if you ask me, Gospel is a musical weapon of mass destruction. The only response it can demand in kind is purchasing a long range accoustical device, and using it to deliver prescision targeted Insane Clown Posse music.


I would just get on a microphone and sing my version of the 80's greatest hits.
 
2012-09-20 04:26:00 AM  

doglover: BronyMedic: How is that Assinine, submitter? If they want to play their crappy gospel music, I have every right under the First Amendment, thanks to Larry Flint, to blast pornographic moans back at them.

Although, if you ask me, Gospel is a musical weapon of mass destruction. The only response it can demand in kind is purchasing a long range accoustical device, and using it to deliver prescision targeted Insane Clown Posse music.

I would just get on a microphone and sing my version of the 80's greatest hits.


I'd sing my own version of Aerosmith's I Don't Want to Miss a Thing. I've been told by several people that it's roughly equivalent to audio waterboarding.
 
2012-09-20 06:30:44 AM  

miss diminutive: doglover: BronyMedic: How is that Assinine, submitter? If they want to play their crappy gospel music, I have every right under the First Amendment, thanks to Larry Flint, to blast pornographic moans back at them.

Although, if you ask me, Gospel is a musical weapon of mass destruction. The only response it can demand in kind is purchasing a long range accoustical device, and using it to deliver prescision targeted Insane Clown Posse music.

I would just get on a microphone and sing my version of the 80's greatest hits.

I'd sing my own version of Aerosmith's I Don't Want to Miss a Thing. I've been told by several people that it's roughly equivalent to audio waterboarding.


Oh my, yet for some reason I still wanna see that.:)
 
2012-09-20 06:33:26 AM  
Jungle Fever by The Chakachas.
 
2012-09-20 06:36:19 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: miss diminutive: doglover: BronyMedic: How is that Assinine, submitter? If they want to play their crappy gospel music, I have every right under the First Amendment, thanks to Larry Flint, to blast pornographic moans back at them.

Although, if you ask me, Gospel is a musical weapon of mass destruction. The only response it can demand in kind is purchasing a long range accoustical device, and using it to deliver prescision targeted Insane Clown Posse music.

I would just get on a microphone and sing my version of the 80's greatest hits.

I'd sing my own version of Aerosmith's I Don't Want to Miss a Thing. I've been told by several people that it's roughly equivalent to audio waterboarding.

Oh my, yet for some reason I still wanna see that.:)


Be sure to leave after the first verse. By the end of the song there's usually a large number of stray dogs around.
 
2012-09-20 06:41:58 AM  
I hope the Hero tag was considered.
 
2012-09-20 06:43:18 AM  

miss diminutive: I'd sing my own version of Aerosmith's I Don't Want to Miss a Thing. I've been told by several people that it's roughly equivalent to audio waterboarding.


I don't hate Aerosmith's entire catalog or anything, but your version couldn't be significantly worse than Steven Tyler's.
 
2012-09-20 06:44:56 AM  
If your neighbor can hear your music loud enough to make out the words then chances are you are playing it too loud.
 
2012-09-20 06:45:47 AM  
How 'bout Lil Kim's "Eat my Pussy Right"?
 
2012-09-20 06:46:28 AM  
If he had Kimberly Kane showing as the porno then the neighbors lucked out. Rrrrrarrrrrrr!
 
2012-09-20 06:46:58 AM  
One possible solution would be to recreate that Interruption Gun that was on Fark a few weeks ago: Get a copy of the album they're playing and play it back at them as loud as possible with a .5 second delay.

commonsenseatheism.com
 
2012-09-20 06:48:57 AM  
Flight of the Valkyries is good defense against pop music aficionados.
 
2012-09-20 06:49:11 AM  
I listedn to gosepl while watching porn, I find it lessens the guilt
 
2012-09-20 06:50:53 AM  
The best part of these small-town news stories is when all the neighbors and family members hop onto the website and start bickering in the comments. Gospel Music Peoples' family is already present and accounted for, complete with stories of drunken chainsaw antics. Let's see if we get a few neighbors in over the course of the day.
 
2012-09-20 06:50:54 AM  
The neighbor behind me, on the other side of a greenway and about 150' away, likes to practice his drums with the windows open. Even with my windows closed and the TV on, the thumping of his drums is audible right through the walls. I've considered an RPG but figure the limbs of the trees might prevent me from getting a good shot.
 
2012-09-20 06:55:08 AM  

Onkel Buck: I listedn to gosepl while watching porn, I find it lessens the guilt


What if is is nun porn? Would that not make it worse?
 
2012-09-20 06:55:58 AM  
Metal Machine Music

Lou Reed
 
2012-09-20 06:56:03 AM  
Years ago, had neighbors in the apartment below me cranking tunes late at night when I had to go to bed early because of my job. Asked them politely several times to just turn down the base as that was all i heard. After the third time, I just started dribbling a basketball around at 4:00 am as I got ready for work. Only took 2 times and the problem was solved.

Hate the other neighbor in the article who doesn't mind the music too... you want a concert, drop money and go see one. My neighbor plays music all summer - even when he is listening to stuff I like I still resent that he decides that the whole neighborhood deserves some music.
 
2012-09-20 06:56:44 AM  

Fark Me To Tears: "OH GOD!!! YES!!! JESUS, YES, SWEET JESUS!!! OH GOD!!!"

Yeah, that'll learn 'em aw right.


Amen.
 
2012-09-20 07:00:18 AM  
Asinine tag for insensitive gospel listeners. Hero tag for the porn man.
 
2012-09-20 07:01:03 AM  

SweetDickens: How 'bout Lil Kim's "Eat my Pussy Right"?


Lords of Acid - Pussy would probably also suffice. Just for good measure you could follow it up with ICP- Fark the World.
 
2012-09-20 07:04:27 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: miss diminutive: doglover: BronyMedic: How is that Assinine, submitter? If they want to play their crappy gospel music, I have every right under the First Amendment, thanks to Larry Flint, to blast pornographic moans back at them.

Although, if you ask me, Gospel is a musical weapon of mass destruction. The only response it can demand in kind is purchasing a long range accoustical device, and using it to deliver prescision targeted Insane Clown Posse music.

I would just get on a microphone and sing my version of the 80's greatest hits.

I'd sing my own version of Aerosmith's I Don't Want to Miss a Thing. I've been told by several people that it's roughly equivalent to audio waterboarding.

Oh my, yet for some reason I still wanna see that.:)


This sort of masochism seems to be the mark of a long time Farker. Like the I-know-the-poster-but-i'll-click-the-link-anyway thing that so many have.
 
2012-09-20 07:04:52 AM  
Oh yay, passive aggressive behavior. Yay.
 
2012-09-20 07:05:25 AM  
Might be my next consideration to get the neighbors to cut out their own Bible-thumping choruses....

/though, thisworked pretty well last time
//because, we are, of course, devils
 
2012-09-20 07:11:54 AM  

jimmyego: I recommend some Rammstein's entire catalogue on an infinite loop with speakers attached to any walls that are shared.


I was just thinking that he should have played Rammstein's concert footage of Buck Dich. LOL
 
2012-09-20 07:16:38 AM  
2 much work moving t.v.

here are several other options that dont involve heavy lifting.

1. dress to impress and go next door with your trusty satanic bible, or as i like to call it, the anti jehova witness trinket. (works wonder when those farkers nock on my door while im sleeping)

2. hold a satanic ritual in your yard staring through there windows.
 
2012-09-20 07:20:19 AM  
Where will this escalating arms race lead us, I ask you? Where?
 
2012-09-20 07:21:46 AM  
A small dose of Slayer would do it for me.

/works for the hippies.
 
2012-09-20 07:28:10 AM  
www.progarchives.com

Guaranteed.
 
2012-09-20 07:32:20 AM  

BronyMedic: How is that Assinine, submitter?.


Because there are literal asses involved :)
 
2012-09-20 07:34:41 AM  

Mock26: Onkel Buck: I listedn to gosepl while watching porn, I find it lessens the guilt

What if is is nun porn? Would that not make it worse?


I got a weird fetish thing with nuns. Went to catholic school for awhile. Got kicked put for being incorrigible, but what do you expect from someone who knows they will be beat by a nun if they act up? I mean how hot is that! Thanks for bringing that up, now I got to run out to my car since I'm at work and can't go to my bunk. Hope I still have some napkins in my glove box
 
2012-09-20 07:40:51 AM  
NOFX would be my choice.

Leaving Jesusland
Blasphemy
and the entire catalog
 
2012-09-20 07:42:14 AM  
When I had neighbors I wanted to piss off, every time I went out I would get my sequencer, my 2KW sound system and play a bass drum hit on 8 channels with slightly differing pitches (and lengths) to create a sort of philip glass bass thump noise sequence that would never repeat before I got home.

thump......thump..thumpthump.............THUMP..............THUMP.... . ......thumpthumpthump.....thump......thump......thump.....THUMPTHUMP

torture that you just cannot zone out.
 
2012-09-20 07:44:10 AM  
That's not asinine.

What's asinine is playing "Tripping Billies" over and over again from your car at midnight right outside my window. But what really took the cake was the fact they wouldn't even play the entire song just the first 30coach seconds.
 
2012-09-20 07:45:46 AM  
I don't care what kind of music my neighbors listen to, but if I can hear it in my house it's to damn loud.
 
2012-09-20 07:48:03 AM  
Bonus points for if the guy used gay porn. Like...many bonus points. Winning-the-game kinds of bonus points.
 
2012-09-20 07:49:11 AM  
If this is the gospel in question, I'd be quite alright with it:

Link

/Play this praise at full volume...
 
2012-09-20 07:49:40 AM  
Anything by Serj Tankien
 
2012-09-20 07:50:28 AM  

Mock26: If your neighbor can hear your music loud enough to make out the words then chances are you are playing it too loud.


This. You people don't have noise by-laws?
 
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