Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(MassLive)   What a drunk 23 year old tanning salon owner who wears high heels and possibly nothing else may look like   (masslive.com) divider line 124
    More: Dumbass, Enfield, heels, Sheraton Hotel, Officer Rief, owners  
•       •       •

44530 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Sep 2012 at 12:56 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



124 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-09-19 12:50:35 PM  
"She became violent and drove her high heel into Officer Rief's leg,"


www.ressim.net

Approves
 
2012-09-19 12:58:37 PM  
I would.
 
2012-09-19 01:00:22 PM  
Nice work with the Sharpie.
 
2012-09-19 01:00:42 PM  
"She became violent and drove her high heel into Officer Rief's leg,"

He is lucky, you know she was aiming for his balls.
 
2012-09-19 01:01:34 PM  
"Have their jobs by morning"?

There's a phrase that'll get you out of jail!

/Maybe in Bizzaro World.
 
2012-09-19 01:02:37 PM  

Police initially arrested the suspect for trespassing and as they did so, she told them that she owns a tanning salon and "she would have their jobs by morning," Sgt. John M. Delaney said.


Yes, everyone fears the political clout of the fake-and-bake shopkeep.
 
2012-09-19 01:03:29 PM  
Delaney said the officers tried to calm her down and get her to take a cab ride home. "She was having none of it. She said she would take the cab ride if the cops paid for it. She swore at the officers and would not leave or calm down," Delaney, aide to Commissioner William J. Fitchet said.

Assuming this is accurate, guessing that was because she was an attractive female.
 
2012-09-19 01:03:30 PM  
 
2012-09-19 01:04:29 PM  
"She was having none of it. She said she would take the cab ride if the cops paid for it. She swore at the officers and would not leave or calm down,"

Mom?
 
2012-09-19 01:04:30 PM  

Englebert Slaptyback: Police initially arrested the suspect for trespassing and as they did so, she told them that she owns a tanning salon and "she would have their jobs by morning," Sgt. John M. Delaney said.


Yes, everyone fears the political clout of the fake-and-bake shopkeep.


Funnied.
 
2012-09-19 01:05:20 PM  
Subby, you suck. She's marginally cute, but she didn't even take off her shoes, let alone anything else.

I demand a refund :)
 
2012-09-19 01:06:53 PM  

Englebert Slaptyback: Police initially arrested the suspect for trespassing and as they did so, she told them that she owns a tanning salon and "she would have their jobs by morning," Sgt. John M. Delaney said.


Yes, everyone fears the political clout of the fake-and-bake shopkeep.


Hey the police chief and the Mayors daughters both get their tans at the shop that she works at.....er...owns.
 
2012-09-19 01:07:15 PM  
I have to go masturbate now.
 
2012-09-19 01:08:50 PM  
I'd shake it and bake it.

/But then again, I'm easy
 
2012-09-19 01:08:55 PM  
Sure, what the hell
 
2012-09-19 01:11:53 PM  
Serious question, maybe one of the usual cop crowd can answer this: why do so many mugshots, particularly of females, are taken with bared shoulders?
 
2012-09-19 01:13:36 PM  
ummm no thanks, you don't stick your dick into crazy!
 
2012-09-19 01:15:46 PM  

TNel: ummm no thanks, you don't stick your dick into crazy!


I and my ex-wife beg to differ.
 
2012-09-19 01:17:38 PM  
A mime has a better tan than her.
 
2012-09-19 01:18:34 PM  
She looks like a cut rate Ashley Tisdale.

so yes.. yes I would.
 
2012-09-19 01:20:37 PM  
that's the kind of woman i can get behind...wink
 
2012-09-19 01:22:38 PM  

DirkTheDaring: What a woman wearing high heels and nothing else actually looks like NSFW


I can practically see the trail of STDs on the runway.
 
2012-09-19 01:23:48 PM  

TNel: ummm no thanks, you don't stick your dick into crazy!


There is nothing wrong with sticking your dick into crazy. You just don't let crazy know your real name, where you live or who any of your friends or family are.
 
2012-09-19 01:25:33 PM  
media.masslive.com

yesss.....that's where the penis goes.....
 
2012-09-19 01:26:20 PM  

Enemabag Jones: Delaney said the officers tried to calm her down and get her to take a cab ride home. "She was having none of it. She said she would take the cab ride if the cops paid for it. She swore at the officers and would not leave or calm down," Delaney, aide to Commissioner William J. Fitchet said.

Assuming this is accurate, guessing that was because she was an attractive female.


Yeah, one or both of them farked her that night.
 
2012-09-19 01:37:20 PM  

Sybarite: Approves


Came for the Adora Belle Dearheart reference. Leaving satisfied.
 
2012-09-19 01:37:38 PM  
She should have used the line "My taxes pay your salary!" in addition to her "I own a tanning salon!" line.

That always makes the cops think twice.

/I can't stand drunk drama queens
 
2012-09-19 01:39:07 PM  
yeah, Enfield crappy little town, sheesh, at 10:30 too. She woulda been more fun at 12 or 1 - or at least quieter and not as violent.

After nearly two decades in bars I still don't unnerstan it.
They walk in, they drink, you take all their money and when they get drunk you throw 'em out.
One of the very first things I ever did as a bartender was to toss a guy the day shift had left me, as a gift. Sort of a "Welcome to the Team Green Bean" sort of thing.

leaving mystified still
 
2012-09-19 01:39:08 PM  

ongbok: There is nothing wrong with sticking your dick into crazy. You just don't let crazy know your real name, where you live or who any of your friends or family are.


THIS.
 
2012-09-19 01:40:35 PM  

MooseUpNorth: Serious question, maybe one of the usual cop crowd can answer this: why do so many mugshots, particularly of females, are taken with bared shoulders?


They processes fewer men in strapless dresses?
 
2012-09-19 01:43:09 PM  
Exactly what I pictured in my head. It's uncanny.
 
2012-09-19 01:43:38 PM  

ongbok: TNel: ummm no thanks, you don't stick your dick into crazy!

There is nothing wrong with sticking your dick into crazy. You just don't let crazy know your real name, where you live or who any of your friends or family are.


imageshack.us
 
2012-09-19 01:44:41 PM  

DirkTheDaring: What a woman wearing high heels and nothing else actually looks like NSFW


A redhead with knee rash. My kind of girl.
 
2012-09-19 01:44:56 PM  

Englebert Slaptyback: Police initially arrested the suspect for trespassing and as they did so, she told them that she owns a tanning salon and "she would have their jobs by morning," Sgt. John M. Delaney said.


Yes, everyone fears the political clout of the fake-and-bake shopkeep.


I prefer the term "hooker cooker" myself...
 
2012-09-19 01:47:14 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: DirkTheDaring: What a woman wearing high heels and nothing else actually looks like NSFW

I can practically see the trail of STDs on the runway.


What indication is there that she has a lot of unprotected sex?
 
2012-09-19 01:48:14 PM  

DirkTheDaring: What a woman wearing high heels and nothing else actually looks like NSFW


Her cooter looks like its sneering.
 
2012-09-19 01:50:18 PM  
Hey! I farked this chick a few times. Wait...well, maybe not THIS one, but they all tend to blend together after a few drinks.
 
2012-09-19 01:50:23 PM  

M0nkeyp0x: [media.masslive.com image 380x315]

yesss.....that's where the penis goes.....


Looks like a Kardashian, acts like a Lohan.
 
2012-09-19 01:50:59 PM  
linapps.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2012-09-19 01:52:43 PM  

Englebert Slaptyback: Police initially arrested the suspect for trespassing and as they did so, she told them that she owns a tanning salon and "she would have their jobs by morning," Sgt. John M. Delaney said.


Yes, everyone fears the political clout of the fake-and-bake shopkeep.


Hey she could be the last "industry" in town and cause a town wide economic collapse if she closes up shop and moves it a town over. Yeah not so much.
 
2012-09-19 01:53:03 PM  
Skeet, skeet, skeet.
 
2012-09-19 01:53:04 PM  

Taikoluigi: "Have their jobs by morning"?

There's a phrase that'll get you out of jail!

/Maybe in Bizzaro World.


The other thing cops love hearing, "You guys have NO IDEA who you're screwing with."


I love the jail shows. A few hours in the tank and tough guy/gal is suddenly as docile and compliant as a lamb. If not slightly embarassed to boot.

/alcohol--it's a helluva drug
 
2012-09-19 01:53:25 PM  
in the bars I drink in we appreciate drunk and belligerent women in high heels.
 
2012-09-19 01:54:39 PM  
If they don't strip naked is it still newsworthy?
 
2012-09-19 01:55:13 PM  
I'd bet my last dollar that she takes it in the butt.
 
2012-09-19 01:56:04 PM  

Enemabag Jones: Delaney said the officers tried to calm her down and get her to take a cab ride home. "She was having none of it. She said she would take the cab ride if the cops paid for it. She swore at the officers and would not leave or calm down," Delaney, aide to Commissioner William J. Fitchet said.

Assuming this is accurate, guessing that was because shethought she was an attractive female.


fixed
 
2012-09-19 01:57:20 PM  
Fingers crossed hoping for a guido thread.
It's been too long.
 
2012-09-19 01:57:35 PM  

ProfessorOhki: MooseUpNorth: Serious question, maybe one of the usual cop crowd can answer this: why do so many mugshots, particularly of females, are taken with bared shoulders?

They processes fewer men in strapless dresses?


They take the mugshots right after the Strip search and tell the women this is "standard procedure"?
 
2012-09-19 02:00:42 PM  
GBmanNC

I'd bet my last dollar that she takes it in the butt.



wow - that's what the boys in the club say about you.
 
2012-09-19 02:02:17 PM  

darwinwench: I prefer the term "hooker cooker" myself...


I'm stealing that.

I wonder how often cops' jobs are threatened by doo shbags under arrest. I'm gonna guess 4 out of 10 times, on average.
 
Displayed 50 of 124 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report