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(NBC News)   That papyrus saying Jesus had a wife changes nothing. It probably refers to the idea of "sister wives"...which isn't at all creepy   (cosmiclog.nbcnews.com) divider line 202
    More: Followup, jesus, Early Christian, status of women, Mary Magdalene, marital status, Rocky and Bullwinkle, religious studies, lists of books  
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10642 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Sep 2012 at 10:01 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-19 09:31:39 AM
From all the pictures I've seen, the dude had a beard.
If you know what I'm saying.
 
2012-09-19 09:44:56 AM
That fragment was just saying that Jesus hadn't spoken to his wife in years.
He didn't want to interrupt her
 
2012-09-19 10:03:28 AM
Holy Mary, Mother of God and Eternal Friend with Benefits
 
2012-09-19 10:04:50 AM
Baptists are already dismissing it. Everyone knows Jesus preferred little boys. He'd take on 12 at a time.
 
2012-09-19 10:05:41 AM
www.bbc.co.uk

Just because some dude with mysterious powers and who can come back from the dead likes traveling around with a female companion, doesn't necessarily mean they're husband and wife, or even doing it.
 
2012-09-19 10:08:14 AM
Jesus of Kentucky.
 
2012-09-19 10:08:27 AM
But, he was not a pimp, right?
 
2012-09-19 10:08:52 AM
Can't wait for the Jesus fad to blow over already.
 
2012-09-19 10:09:21 AM
Sam nailed it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSwG9Tojg9I&feature=related

Warning: Bad language
 
2012-09-19 10:10:03 AM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [www.bbc.co.uk image 490x276]

Just because some dude with mysterious powers and who can come back from the dead likes traveling around with a female companion, doesn't necessarily mean they're husband and wife, or even doing it.


If you use the original example instead in your analogy it actually gets even creepier since he was an old man and she was his granddaughter (traveling with two of her high school teachers, giggity).
 
2012-09-19 10:10:23 AM
Wow, that is some cognitive dissonance by Ben Witherington.
 
2012-09-19 10:11:33 AM
Didn't Dan Brown cover the whole "Jesus was married and had kids" thing?

Kind of makes you wonder if the early church really did cover up evidence that Jesus held women in high regard (as opposed to the Church, which tends to like their women subservient).
 
2012-09-19 10:12:12 AM
Maybe this will explain why Christians don't really follow Jesus' teaching about peace, eschewing of wealth, etc. They're just following the example set by Jesus' wife, who obviously would find fault with any statements he made.
 
2012-09-19 10:12:18 AM
According to the papyrus, Jesus told his disciples "Take my wife....please"
 
2012-09-19 10:15:17 AM

Harry Freakstorm: According to the papyrus, Jesus told his disciples "Take my wife....please"


Experts disagree. Some of them insist it is a story that Jesus told of coming home to find his wife Mary banging the hell out of his best disciple. Jesus shouts "Peter, I have to. But you?"
 
2012-09-19 10:15:26 AM
Ah yes, the Gnostic Gospels. And you thought Twilight fan-fic was bad.
 
2012-09-19 10:15:45 AM

signaljammer:

media.smithsonianmag.com

Can't wait for the Jesus fad to blow over already.

 
2012-09-19 10:15:45 AM
So?
Most people have been making up stuff as they go to fit their beliefs for centuries despite the written texts, how will this change their minds?
 
2012-09-19 10:15:56 AM
i290.photobucket.com

Of course Jesus had a wife! This is one of his decendants
 
2012-09-19 10:15:58 AM
A wife?
Well, that explains a lot.
The war mongering.
The money grubbing.
The vindictive and petulant nature of "spreading the word".
And, since the divorce, the absentee landlord thingie.
 
2012-09-19 10:16:30 AM
A piece of a fragment, without context? What would it mean if Jesus had a wife? Scholars 3000 years from now might find a data fragment of this post from a cache on the beer soaked Fark servers and if all they got was the stuff after "if and before "?", they could say they had a text that said "Jesus had a wife".

/Or maybe he was telling a joke
//"Take my wife, please . . . "
 
2012-09-19 10:17:15 AM
The fragment was mistranslated. It's actually an old Henny Youngman joke.
 
2012-09-19 10:17:30 AM

rev. dave: So?
Most people have been making up stuff as they go to fit their beliefs for centuries despite the written texts, how will this change their minds?


What passes for "proof" these days is a poor sample of speculative reasoning.
 
2012-09-19 10:18:13 AM
Must.

Learn.

To.

Type.

Faster.
 
2012-09-19 10:19:00 AM
Not to go off on a tangent, but it amuses me how much the defenders of marriage have such a negative view of marriage (and sex of course) when it comes to Jesus. His mother was married, but she was a virgin her whole life, so technically they never consummated the marriage. Jesus was the perfect sinless person, so he could never get married and have sex. I know this is generalizing their beliefs, but it does seem like Christians, especially Catholics, are very adamant that those two never had sex.
 
2012-09-19 10:19:10 AM
maybe he was saying my life instead of my wife
 
2012-09-19 10:19:17 AM
and here we are, 2000 years later, still trying to find the definition of marriage.
 
2012-09-19 10:19:21 AM
Just don't make the translation error so many have done.
The word is "celebrate" not "celibate".
 
2012-09-19 10:19:22 AM
So is anyone going to make a "Take my wife, please" joke?

/Got ninja'd
 
2012-09-19 10:19:40 AM
Funky how everything else is taken as the true and perfect of the word of god
but this is being questioned and danced around
 
2012-09-19 10:19:47 AM

TommyDeuce: A piece of a fragment, without context? What would it mean if Jesus had a wife? Scholars 3000 years from now might find a data fragment of this post from a cache on the beer soaked Fark servers and if all they got was the stuff after "if and before "?", they could say they had a text that said "Jesus had a wife".

/Or maybe he was telling a joke
//"Take my wife, please . . . "


I'm not real churchy but this article showed up on our church facebook page. I used the same line there and my pastor didn't know who Henny Youngman was. I guess it's a good thing Jack Benny never talked about a wife.
 
2012-09-19 10:20:21 AM
www.cinemavirtualis.com
"You know how I know Jesus wasn't married? Because no wife would by the resurrection bit. Think about it... he leaves the house on Friday night with 12 guys, and he doesn't come home until 3 days later. You know the wife would be standing in the doorway with a rolling pin going 'So where the hell have you been? Mr. Winemaker, hmmm??'"
- Sam Kinison
 
2012-09-19 10:20:47 AM
I think the text from the papyrus

"Let wicked people swell up ..."

is much more interesting and appropriate.
 
2012-09-19 10:20:50 AM
I;m a pretty liberal orthodox Christian, but I can't help but feel like all this debate is like debating whether Han shot first.
 
2012-09-19 10:21:54 AM
Jesus was a swinger
 
2012-09-19 10:23:12 AM
Think it was a little awkward if she screamed out "oh god oh god" while he was banging her?
 
2012-09-19 10:23:49 AM

bwilson27: Baptists are already dismissing it. Everyone knows Jesus preferred little boys. He'd take on 12 at a time.


how HARD is the case of an asexual Jesus

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-09-19 10:24:56 AM

Conthan: Not to go off on a tangent, but it amuses me how much the defenders of marriage have such a negative view of marriage (and sex of course) when it comes to Jesus. His mother was married, but she was a virgin her whole life, so technically they never consummated the marriage. Jesus was the perfect sinless person, so he could never get married and have sex. I know this is generalizing their beliefs, but it does seem like Christians, especially Catholics, are very adamant that those two never had sex.


The Catholics have a long established, entrenched practice of restricting "not real" sex for the priests and boys.
They could not have had "sex" since they were not trying to make more Catholics, the distinction between sex and fun.

No fun for you, no, no, no
 
2012-09-19 10:25:59 AM
The RCC is just grossed out that Jesus may have stuck his peener into a woman's naughty bits, let alone had one as a friend and confidante. Women outside of convents are only useful as receptacles to produce succulent young altar boys.
 
2012-09-19 10:26:10 AM
Ok, that's it.
I am all outraged.
Whar the Consulate? What time do we burn it?
 
2012-09-19 10:26:35 AM

Conthan: Not to go off on a tangent, but it amuses me how much the defenders of marriage have such a negative view of marriage (and sex of course) when it comes to Jesus. His mother was married, but she was a virgin her whole life, so technically they never consummated the marriage. Jesus was the perfect sinless person, so he could never get married and have sex. I know this is generalizing their beliefs, but it does seem like Christians, especially Catholics, are very adamant that those two never had sex.


not so.

Mary (Jesus' mother) was married to Joseph and had other children that were fathered by him. No one Christian that knows anything about their religion claims that Mary was "forever a virgin". She was not.

And since it seems that Jesus (if he really ever existed) was fathered by a Roman soldier, I would say not a virgin at all.

And since the supernatural is total bunk and "god" never fathered a child with anyone.....
 
2012-09-19 10:28:02 AM

strangeguitar: [i290.photobucket.com image 150x200]

Of course Jesus had a wife! This is one of his decendants


Dude, she was his great-great-.....................-great-niece, not daughter.
 
2012-09-19 10:28:42 AM
I was not aware that Messiah was an allegedly celibate position.
 
2012-09-19 10:29:03 AM
A surprisingly well written article. It avoids the ridiculous assertion that any of this proves Jesus had a wife but also delves into the context of what a wife was at the time.

Color me surprised.
 
2012-09-19 10:29:59 AM
Somebody once told me that when Jesus made water into wine at the wedding it proved he was the groom since it was the husband's responsibility to provide wine to the guests.

Any truth to this?
 
2012-09-19 10:30:10 AM
Of course he had a wife. He was a good Jewish boy and he would have been betrothed at a young age, and probably married shortly after his Bar Mitzvah.
 
2012-09-19 10:31:07 AM
Look up the story of Horus. It's the story of Jesus.

Written in 2500 BC.
 
2012-09-19 10:32:11 AM
What the missing text to his wife says:
So now I'm prayng for the end of time, to hurry up and arrive! Cuz if I have to spend another minute with you, I don't think that I could really survice!
 
2012-09-19 10:32:20 AM
Pfftt... Jesus couldn't have had a wife when he had such lovely boys!

"And there followed him a certain young man, having a linen cloth cast about his naked body; and the young men laid hold on him:"
 
2012-09-19 10:33:08 AM
Is there actually any Christian that isn't aware that the New Testament was condensed from about ten times as much starting material to pare out internal contradictions and redundancy and to keep it on message?

Because if there is... yo, dog, I heard you like the councils of Nice.
 
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