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(Toronto Star)   Intruder breaks into six homes in one night, sexually assaults a 16-year-old and a 91-year-old. Talk about going from the cradle to the grave   (thestar.com) divider line 64
    More: Sick, sex crimes, Etobicoke, Toronto Police  
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7990 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Sep 2012 at 9:27 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-19 09:30:07 AM
An equal opportunity offender.
 
2012-09-19 09:30:33 AM
Appalling story but fark is that a good headline.

+1
 
2012-09-19 09:31:30 AM
The Aristocrats......
 
2012-09-19 09:31:33 AM
Okay, one is young, one is old.

What shall we discuss next? My favorite color?

/handles truth
 
2012-09-19 09:36:47 AM
Beggars can't be choosers. You gotta take whatever you can find.
 
2012-09-19 09:37:15 AM
Brazen home intruder...

Read that at Brazzers. What has porn done to me.
 
2012-09-19 09:38:06 AM
Hide your grandma, hide your kids!
 
2012-09-19 09:41:06 AM
Rape jokes are so funny, said no one ever.
 
2012-09-19 09:43:03 AM
ftfa
Police are urging him to get a lawyer and turn himself in. 

For some reason that stood out to me. I mean sure, urge him to turn himself in. that makes sense, makes the cops job easier and all. But they also urge him to get a lawyer first. I just guess I have never seen that in print before. Must be a Canadian thing to promote due process and all.
 
2012-09-19 09:43:38 AM

Infobahn: Rape jokes are so funny, said no one ever.


Its a play on words related to a rape story, not a rape joke per-se.
 
2012-09-19 09:45:03 AM

FirstNationalBastard: M0nkeyp0x: Brazen home intruder...

Read that at Brazzers. What has porn done to me.

[regretfulmorning.com image 500x332]


i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-09-19 09:47:35 AM

Infobahn: Rape jokes are so funny, said no one ever.


What about Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd?
 
2012-09-19 09:49:28 AM

nomorelurking: ftfa
Police are urging him to get a lawyer and turn himself in. 

For some reason that stood out to me. I mean sure, urge him to turn himself in. that makes sense, makes the cops job easier and all. But they also urge him to get a lawyer first. I just guess I have never seen that in print before. Must be a Canadian thing to promote due process and all.


Could be to protect the police... this guy comes in with no lawyer, cops handle him, thenhe can claim all sorts of rights violations, they wouldn't let him make a call, get a lawyer, etc... if he walks in with a lawyer, that's in the best interests of BOTH parties.
 
2012-09-19 09:50:49 AM
He sounds like a legitimate Romney voter.
 
2012-09-19 09:53:57 AM
Police are urging him to get a lawyer and turn himself in.

Yeah, that'll work.
 
2012-09-19 09:54:07 AM

Infobahn: Rape jokes are so funny, said no one ever.


What about rape comedians and rape clowns? I'm sure they would take exception to your disparagement of their art. As for the news story, shouldn't we wait 9 months to determine the legitimacy of these accusations?
 
2012-09-19 09:54:31 AM

Infobahn: Rape jokes are so funny, said no one ever.


Clown rape is funny....
 
2012-09-19 09:58:05 AM
Subby, that headline is in poor taste and you are a bad person and should feel bad for posting it.

/magnificent bastard
 
2012-09-19 09:59:22 AM
That really was rape rape
 
2012-09-19 10:01:02 AM

Infobahn: Rape jokes are so funny, said no one ever.


I think the Rape-ublican party might disagree with you on that.
 
2012-09-19 10:01:22 AM

nomorelurking: ftfa
Police are urging him to get a lawyer and turn himself in. 

For some reason that stood out to me. I mean sure, urge him to turn himself in. that makes sense, makes the cops job easier and all. But they also urge him to get a lawyer first. I just guess I have never seen that in print before. Must be a Canadian thing to promote due process and all.


If you're with your lawyer then you're not a fugitive anymore: you're a person who's going to jail just as soon as you tie up a few things that would be inconvenient to handle by remote control. Your lawyer's career isn't worth what would be involved in helping (or letting) you skip out or tamper with evidence or whatever so there's no longer any hurry to arrest you, any need to get warrants to hoof in your door and scare your parakeet, that sort of thing. Judges also really really like it when accuseds turn themselves in.
 
2012-09-19 10:01:37 AM

Psycho Zombie Monkey: Infobahn: Rape jokes are so funny, said no one ever.

Clown rape is funny....


as long as we can keep cannibalism, genocide, and mass murder jokes. because those are so much more desirable crimes than rape.
 
2012-09-19 10:04:28 AM
16, 91?

maybe he though it was the same girl, just upside down.
 
2012-09-19 10:05:34 AM

pute kisses like a man: Psycho Zombie Monkey: Infobahn: Rape jokes are so funny, said no one ever.

Clown rape is funny....

as long as we can keep cannibalism, genocide, and mass murder jokes. because those are so much more desirable crimes than rape.


"So, how many Jews can you rape in an ashtray?" is right out?

/First class, window seat, kosher, please.
 
2012-09-19 10:09:24 AM
stonicus
Could be to protect the police... this guy comes in with no lawyer, cops handle him, thenhe can claim all sorts of rights violations, they wouldn't let him make a call, get a lawyer, etc... if he walks in with a lawyer, that's in the best interests of BOTH parties.


Yeah I get that. Of course. Its part of the Miranda thing they are supposed to read to you UPON arrest. But I guess what I'm saying is I've never seen them say that in a news report and to me it comes off as very nice and gentle. Like. " Listen here suspected offender, we have a lot of evidence against you and you are surely going down, but, please turn yourself in so that we can avoid further charges and do please have legal defense present when you do come in to expidite the process in the most beneficial way to all parties involved". I suppose I read too much in to things.
 
2012-09-19 10:10:28 AM

Infobahn: Rape jokes are so funny, said no one ever.




Yeah, tell me about it. Serious stuff.

I was going to take a shot at a black guy attacking 10 and not putting any in the hospital with some type of Dickie Smalls joke but I just can't pull it off.
 
2012-09-19 10:12:12 AM
Just curious but where did subby get the exact age of the teenager in the article?

Police are on the hunt for a brazen intruder wanted in a string of home invasions and sex assaults in south Etobicoke early Tuesday.

Eat a bowl of choke on a what now?
 
2012-09-19 10:15:06 AM

Eat a bowl of choke on a what now?


lol if that is how you pronounce Etobicoke, I love it!
 
2012-09-19 10:19:09 AM
Average age of the victims was 53 years, 6 months
 
2012-09-19 10:21:36 AM

Psycho Zombie Monkey: Infobahn: Rape jokes are so funny, said no one ever.

Clown rape is funny....


In my neighborhood, clown rape is required.
 
2012-09-19 10:29:53 AM

Infobahn: Rape jokes are so funny, said no one ever.


i.ytimg.com
 
2012-09-19 10:35:33 AM
Hey farkers, I got an idea - why don't we be as disgusting and insensitive as Reddit. Ha. Ha. Dead babies - hey, aren't they as funny as rape. Ha. Ha. Bye, forever. (please comment "good riddance" to my absent face palm).
 
2012-09-19 10:40:19 AM

reagand: Hey farkers, I got an idea - why don't we be as disgusting and insensitive as Reddit. Ha. Ha. Dead babies - hey, aren't they as funny as rape. Ha. Ha. Bye, forever. (please comment "good riddance" to my absent face palm).


Welcometofark.jpg
 
2012-09-19 10:42:30 AM

Psycho Zombie Monkey: Infobahn: Rape jokes are so funny, said no one ever.

Clown rape is funny....


Because *HONKA HONKA* means no, damnit!
 
2012-09-19 10:45:23 AM

Jormungandr: Psycho Zombie Monkey: Infobahn: Rape jokes are so funny, said no one ever.

Clown rape is funny....

Because *HONKA HONKA* means no, damnit!


And you know what they say about clown shoes. "Big feet, car full of midgets."
 
2012-09-19 10:49:06 AM

Boudica's War Tampon: He sounds like a legitimate Romney voter.


Canada: whar is it?
/if it's in Etobicoke, it's ripe to poke!
//can you "stand your ground" in Canada?
 
2012-09-19 10:49:41 AM
Hedley sign him up yet?
 
2012-09-19 10:53:31 AM
pedophile or old person-ophile
 
2012-09-19 10:59:34 AM
The suspect is described as a slim male, about 6 feet tall.

yet no race... you know what that means
 
2012-09-19 11:04:16 AM
Okay, okay, Clown Rape is Funny.
 
2012-09-19 11:30:24 AM

Boudica's War Tampon: He sounds like a legitimate Romney voter.


I cannot wait until this election cycle is over. Good Christ.
 
2012-09-19 11:36:08 AM
I'm still COL'ing from the headline, subs.

\chuckling out loud
 
2012-09-19 11:37:38 AM

Infobahn: Rape jokes are so funny, said no one ever.


Lighten up, Francis.
 
2012-09-19 11:47:06 AM

nomorelurking: Eat a bowl of choke on a what now?

lol if that is how you pronounce Etobicoke, I love it!


Sorry to burst your bubble, but it's 'eto-bi-coe'. I was born there and I don't even know why they kept the K. :P
 
2012-09-19 11:48:38 AM
Did you ever see a news story like this in the paper?
Every now and then you run into a story, says, "some guy broke into a house, stole a lot of things, and while he was in there, he raped an 81 year old woman."
And I'm thinking to myself, "WHY??? What the fark kind of a social life does this guy have?"
I want to say, "why did you do that?" "Well she was coming on to me. We were dancing and I got horney.
Hey, she was asking for it, she had on a tight bathrobe." I'll say, "Jesus Christ, be a little farking selective next time will you?" 


/RIP George Carlin
 
2012-09-19 11:52:08 AM
I say this with a heavy heart but, well done, Subby
 
2012-09-19 11:59:07 AM
it's all good. but some is better than others
 
2012-09-19 12:03:38 PM

reagand: Hey farkers, I got an idea - why don't we be as disgusting and insensitive as Reddit. Ha. Ha. Dead babies - hey, aren't they as funny as rape. Ha. Ha. Bye, forever. (please comment "good riddance" to my absent face palm).


What's the difference between a dead baby and a bathtub?

You can't rape a bathtub.
 
2012-09-19 12:16:15 PM

Infobahn: Rape jokes are so funny, said no one ever.


Rape jokes are funny.

/go fark yourself
 
2012-09-19 12:19:23 PM
The suspect is described as a black male, about 6 feet tall with a stocky build, likely in his 20s or 30s... No victims were hospitalized as a result of the Tuesday night assaults

Well that rules out penetration.
 
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