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(NYPost)   Capt. Jean-Luc Picard finally meets his match in battle with long-time human nemesis Time Warner Cable. "All I wanted to do was set up a new account but 36hrs later I've lost the will to live"   (nypost.com ) divider line
    More: Sad, Time Warner Cable, treks, jeans  
•       •       •

12064 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Sep 2012 at 8:22 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



102 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-09-19 06:27:58 AM  
"...make it so," REALLY?
 
2012-09-19 06:50:48 AM  
I'm just imagining 'Q' at the other end of the phone when he was calling in
 
2012-09-19 07:08:53 AM  

Roook: I'm just imagining 'Q' at the other end of the phone when he was calling in


Na, man. The Borg. "We will...not service you. Complaining is futile."
 
2012-09-19 07:21:33 AM  
Pakleds. Gotta be.

/slinks off to wedgie himself whilst screaming "NERRRRD"
 
2012-09-19 07:33:02 AM  
Well now I've seen everything. I've seen it all.
 
2012-09-19 07:39:05 AM  
Fark me sideways, submitter, I thought Patrick Stewart died based on that headline.

And WTF is Patrick Stewart doing in Brooklyn?
 
2012-09-19 08:01:18 AM  
TW: Sir, if your modem is working, you should see five lights.
PS: THERE! ARE! FOUR! LIGHTS!
 
2012-09-19 08:01:57 AM  

Mugato: And WTF is Patrick Stewart doing in Brooklyn?


Whatever he wants.
 
2012-09-19 08:04:15 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Pakleds. Gotta be.


This explains everything.
 
2012-09-19 08:06:55 AM  
Time-warner cable, the only company that makes you hold Comcast in high regards.
 
2012-09-19 08:18:58 AM  
darmok at tanagra when the page won't load
 
2012-09-19 08:22:37 AM  
It was like waiting an whole lifetime.

i522.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-19 08:27:25 AM  
Show your ID card to the border guard.
 
2012-09-19 08:30:24 AM  
Kirk wouldn't have put up with that shiat, he would have taken his shirt off and installed it himself, or he would have slept with the green chick at customer service

/my troll-fu is weak...
 
2012-09-19 08:33:47 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Later on, Patrick Stewart got the cable installer's head on a platter.
 
2012-09-19 08:37:07 AM  
Just imagine customer service when the Borg Bank of Earth provides all services.
 
2012-09-19 08:51:05 AM  

Eapoe6: Just imagine customer service when the Borg Bank of Earth provides all services.


I already am a customer of Bank of America.
 
2012-09-19 08:52:11 AM  

Mentat: TW: Sir, if your modem is working, you should see five lights.
PS: THERE! ARE! FOUR! LIGHTS!


Thread over.
 
2012-09-19 08:54:50 AM  
i prefer him from Excalibur.

AGAINST!!!!
 
2012-09-19 08:59:46 AM  

Tarl3k: Kirk wouldn't have put up with that shiat, he would have taken his shirt off and installed it himself, or he would have slept with the green chick at customer service

/my troll-fu is weak...


And built a mortar out of household cleaning products to fire at the tech when they finally showed up.
 
2012-09-19 09:00:15 AM  

Confabulat: Eapoe6: Just imagine customer service when the Borg Bank of Earth provides all services.

I already am a customer of Bank of America.


I'm in the process of migrating our networks to TWC.
And by migrate I mean get demoted, take a pay cut, and be relegated to hanging the device in a rack & calling the NOC to see if it works.
 
2012-09-19 09:07:06 AM  
Is FIOS available in Park Slope or have they not paid Silver or whoever the current graft king is their bribe for an operating license?
 
2012-09-19 09:11:07 AM  

Mugato: Fark me sideways, submitter, I thought Patrick Stewart died based on that headline.


Me too, my heart skipped a beat until I read it through. Damn scaremitter.
 
2012-09-19 09:13:59 AM  

Mentat: TW: Sir, if your modem is working, you should see five lights.
PS: THERE! ARE! FOUR! LIGHTS!


Do we have a Comment Of The Year category? Because if we do, this should be in it.
 
2012-09-19 09:21:10 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: It's okay.

Soon, he'll regain his will to fight, and we'll hear about how THE LINE MUST BE DRAWN HERE!

[cdn.chud.com image 507x360]

Of course, Avery Brooks, well..

[i81.photobucket.com image 292x225]

he can live with it.


Benjamin Sisko is excatly what the Klingons accues Kirk of being.

He's a renegade and a terrorist. Also a murder.
 
2012-09-19 09:27:09 AM  
500 channels on this damned holodeck and not a single good program. Gah!

/ I guess that's more of a Brent Spiner joke though...
 
2012-09-19 09:28:11 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Well now I've seen everything. I've seen it all.


The cable lady came to my house, and her clothes just dropped as she walked in.


By the way, you all read the quote in the headline in Stewart's voice, didn't you?
 
2012-09-19 09:28:44 AM  
Time Warner: They make it slow.
 
2012-09-19 09:30:51 AM  

stupiddream: Show your ID card to the border guard.


Well, that was refreshing!
 
2012-09-19 09:31:07 AM  
Let's make sure everyone forgets the name, Time Warner.
 
2012-09-19 09:33:09 AM  

Elandriel: stupiddream: Show your ID card to the border guard.

Well, that was refreshing!


They won't speak English anyway.
 
2012-09-19 09:33:49 AM  

Tax Boy: [upload.wikimedia.org image 500x482]

Later on, Patrick Stewart got the cable installer's head on a platter.


I'd kill to see Stewart do Hamlet
 
2012-09-19 09:34:58 AM  

H31N0US: Is FIOS available in Park Slope or have they not paid Silver or whoever the current graft king is their bribe for an operating license?


Fios is available on some blocks. I learned that the way you get service is if enough people on a block call requesting it, they will run the line for that block. But they have to know that the demand is there first.
 
2012-09-19 09:37:46 AM  

Sybarite: It was like waiting an whole lifetime.

[i522.photobucket.com image 450x347]


Separated at birth?

i522.photobucket.coma0.twimg.com
 
2012-09-19 09:38:34 AM  

H31N0US: Is FIOS available in Park Slope or have they not paid Silver or whoever the current graft king is their bribe for an operating license?


But only TW carries NY1! FiOS doesn't. You may axe, So what?

I tried to go to the NY1 website recently and found a new pop-up saying that unless you were a TW subscriber, your access to NY1 was limited. Sez I, can't miss what I don't watch anyway.

Best thing that came out of that station was Elizabeth Kaladin.
 
2012-09-19 09:38:44 AM  

bhcompy: Tax Boy: [upload.wikimedia.org image 500x482]

Later on, Patrick Stewart got the cable installer's head on a platter.

I'd kill to see Stewart do Hamlet


There was a BBC made-for-tv production of Hamlet in modern dress. Patrick Stewart played Claudius, and I believe David Tennant played Hamlet.

Theres a torrent of information on the interwebs on how you could view this presentation of awesomeness.
 
2012-09-19 09:39:40 AM  

bhcompy: Tax Boy: [upload.wikimedia.org image 500x482]

Later on, Patrick Stewart got the cable installer's head on a platter.

I'd kill to see Stewart do Hamlet


sort of. I'm not a Shakespeare buff, so I don't know how abominable this is to people who are, but it's not my thing. Here's a YouTube clip. I don't get it.
 
2012-09-19 09:39:57 AM  
Stewart and Time Warner at Park Slope. Stewart, his screen dark.
 
2012-09-19 09:41:05 AM  
Pft, not the Patrick Stewart I know.

I will not yield,
To kiss the ground before Time Warner's feet,
And to be baited with the rabble's curse.

//What, you were expecting a different reference?
 
2012-09-19 09:42:09 AM  
Aw, lost the image:

wooller.com
 
2012-09-19 09:48:27 AM  
Okay. I am going to admit something. I used to work for a cable company. I worked as a retention representative (if someone wants to cxl their service). I can tell you that there are times that the subscriber is at fault and there are times that the cable company is at fault. Yes, our techs miss appointment times. Yes, a bill can be incorrect. Yes, there may be an outage of service at some time. But, after working for the cable company for 4 years, I have to say that SOME cable customers are whiny, unreasonable, unrealistic, comtemptous, liars, thieves and scoundrels. If I told you that I had to stay on the phone with a customer for 1 1/2 hours over $5.00 per month would you believe me? This was after escalating the call to a supervisor. There are tools that reps are able to use to bring down pricing of services, but it is not a magic wand. We can't pull numbers out of our butts. I even offered the gentlemen a one time $60 credit to cover the $5.00 per month and he wouldn't do it. I also stayed on the phone until midnight to help a drunk man find the channel so he could watch a televangelist. He didn't know the name, or channel or anything but since I was not allowed to hang up on him or put him on hold for more than 2 minutes, it was a painful one hour conversation with a drunk man. He was my last customer of the evening. I was ready to quit that night.

But, I love Patrick Stewart so I will assume that this was the fault of TWC.
 
2012-09-19 09:59:37 AM  

BunkyBrewman: Time-warner cable, the only company that makes you hold Comcast in high regards.


FWIW: one of Comcast's unofficial mottos happens to be "at least we're better than Time Warner."

/ya rly
 
2012-09-19 10:05:20 AM  

Eapoe6: Just imagine customer service when the Borg Bank of Earth provides all services.


Who told you!?

farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2012-09-19 10:08:17 AM  

Mentat: TW: Sir, if your modem is working, you should see five lights.
PS: THERE! ARE! FOUR! LIGHTS!


Came here to post something similar. Nicely done.
 
2012-09-19 10:13:25 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: Roook: darmok at tanagra when the page won't load

Kiteo, his eyes closed. Kadir beneath Mo Moteh. Zinda, his face black, his eyes red! Sokath, his eyes opened. Shaka, when the walls fell.


GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!

 
2012-09-19 10:15:58 AM  
"But the truth is, any customer that reaches out to us . . . we're going to offer them help the exact same way."

So, basically, no help at all?
 
2012-09-19 10:17:21 AM  

Madbassist1: FirstNationalBastard: Roook: darmok at tanagra when the page won't load

Kiteo, his eyes closed. Kadir beneath Mo Moteh. Zinda, his face black, his eyes red! Sokath, his eyes opened. Shaka, when the walls fell.

GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!


www.thedaisyharris.com
I could stand to hear a little bit more.
 
2012-09-19 10:26:53 AM  
Shaka, when the router failed...
 
2012-09-19 10:27:41 AM  
TWC: "... any customer that reaches out to us . . . we're going to offer them help the exact same way."

So.... they will lose their will to live after dealing with you for 36 hours. Got it.
 
2012-09-19 10:29:17 AM  

SpectreJCB: bhcompy: Tax Boy: [upload.wikimedia.org image 500x482]

Later on, Patrick Stewart got the cable installer's head on a platter.

I'd kill to see Stewart do Hamlet

There was a BBC made-for-tv production of Hamlet in modern dress. Patrick Stewart played Claudius, and I believe David Tennant played Hamlet.

Theres a torrent of information on the interwebs on how you could view this presentation of awesomeness.


He also did Macbeth as the titled character. Was awesome in it.
 
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