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(LA Times)   Chef says he cooked his wife for four days. No word when he added the potatoes and carrots   (latimesblogs.latimes.com) divider line 60
    More: Followup, Rancho Palos Verdes, potatoes, hospital bed, chefs, Los Angeles County Sheriff  
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8612 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Sep 2012 at 2:20 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-19 02:23:35 AM
This guy's got the right idea. Cook that body like a midget retard.
 
2012-09-19 02:24:10 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-09-19 02:25:01 AM
I missed that episode of South Park.
 
2012-09-19 02:26:19 AM
Low and slow, I always say
 
2012-09-19 02:28:30 AM
"David, we'd love to have you and your wife over for dinner sometime."

"How about just my wife?"
 
2012-09-19 02:28:35 AM
When he says you belong in the kitchen, YOU BELONG IN THE FARKING KITCHEN.
 
2012-09-19 02:28:41 AM
It's a cookbook!
 
2012-09-19 02:28:57 AM
Chefs cook.
Cooks use acid.

www.wikinoticia.com
 
2012-09-19 02:29:50 AM
"What kind of wine would you like with your wife?"

"I don't know. Her favorites were usually 'You don't listen' and 'Turn that stupid game off'."
 
2012-09-19 02:30:10 AM
Obligatory.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWWg5shNWR4

UNDERTAKER: (Graham Chapman) Morning!

MAN: (John Cleese) Ah, good morning.

UNDERTAKER: What can I do for you, squire?

M: Um, well, I wonder if you can help me. Um, you see, my mother has just died.

U: Ah, well, we can 'elp you. We deal with stiffs.

M: (aghast) What?

U: Well there are three things we can do with your mother. We can burn her, bury her, or dump her.

M: Dump her?

U: Dump her in the Thames.

M: (still aghast) What?

U: Oh, did you like her?

M: Yes!

U: Oh well, we won't dump her, then. Well, what do you think: We can bury her or burn her?

M: Well, um, which would you recommend?

U: Well they're both nasty. If we burn her, she gets stuffed in the flames, crackle, crackle, crackle, which is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead. But quick. And then we give you a handful of the ashes, which you can pretend were hers.

M: (timidly) Oh.

U: Or, if we bury her she gets eaten up lots of weevils and nasty maggots, which as I said before is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead.

M: I see. Well, she's definitely dead.

U: Where is she?

M: She's in this sack.

U: Let's 'ave a look.

(sound of bag opening)

U: She looks quite young.

M: Yes, she was.

U: (over his shoulder) Fred!

F: (Eric Idle, offstage) Yea!

U: I THINK WE'VE GOT AN EATER!

F: (offstage) I'll get the oven on!

M: Um, er...excuse me, um, are you... are you suggesting eating my mother?

(pause)

U: Yeah. Not raw, cooked!

M: What?

U:Roasted with a few french fries, broccoli, horseradish sauce ...

M: Well, I do feel a bit peckish.

U: Great!

M: Can we have some parsnips?

U: (calling) Fred - get some parsnips.

M: I really don't think I should.

U: Look, tell you what, we'll eat her, if you feel a bit guilty about it afterwards, we can dig a grave and you can throw up in it.
 
2012-09-19 02:31:17 AM
ichef.bbci.co.uk
 
2012-09-19 02:31:20 AM
This guy is sure in some hot water. He was hoping that things would simmer down, but now his goose is cooked. What an unsavory story.
 
2012-09-19 02:32:34 AM
I prefer them pickled and in bed, but to each his own.
 
2012-09-19 02:32:36 AM
Does it seem odd the article quotes him as saying he killed his wife by accident, but the article doesn't describe what that accident was, or how it supposedly occurred?
 
2012-09-19 02:32:46 AM
www.smokymtbarbecue.com
I love eating the butt.
 
2012-09-19 02:33:57 AM

RoyBatty: Does it seem odd the article quotes him as saying he killed his wife by accident, but the article doesn't describe what that accident was, or how it supposedly occurred?



I don't know if this is the same article that I read about this, but it said that he taped her mouth and tied her up, and then she was supposedly dead the next morning. I was thinking possible suffocation? Or if he beat her up first -- which I think he copped to -- she may have died from that.
 
2012-09-19 02:34:14 AM

RoyBatty: Does it seem odd the article quotes him as saying he killed his wife by accident, but the article doesn't describe what that accident was, or how it supposedly occurred?


I read another story with a touch more information. He tied her up and gagged her and she choked to death on her own vomit.

Remember, kids. Never leave your wife unattended when she's bound and gagged.
 
2012-09-19 02:34:19 AM
FTA: So, he said, he stuffed his wife's body, face-down, into a drum of boiling water - and cooked it. For four days.

Well done!
 
2012-09-19 02:36:24 AM

shower_in_my_socks: RoyBatty: Does it seem odd the article quotes him as saying he killed his wife by accident, but the article doesn't describe what that accident was, or how it supposedly occurred?


I don't know if this is the same article that I read about this, but it said that he taped her mouth and tied her up, and then she was supposedly dead the next morning. I was thinking possible suffocation? Or if he beat her up first -- which I think he copped to -- she may have died from that.


Inaditch: RoyBatty: Does it seem odd the article quotes him as saying he killed his wife by accident, but the article doesn't describe what that accident was, or how it supposedly occurred?

I read another story with a touch more information. He tied her up and gagged her and she choked to death on her own vomit.

Remember, kids. Never leave your wife unattended when she's bound and gagged.


I guess we know a bit more why he was a Los Angeles Chef and not a JPL Rocket Scientist.
 
2012-09-19 02:37:58 AM
Want to turn your wife from a frigid cow into a hot babe?

imageshack.us
 
2012-09-19 02:39:01 AM

Public Savant: FTA: So, he said, he stuffed his wife's body, face-down, into a drum of boiling water - and cooked it. For four days.

Well done!


Admittedly I know I rarely have the patience to braise an old steak for more than an hour, but I do fondly remember my mother's short ribs when the meat just fell off the bone
 
2012-09-19 02:39:44 AM

RoyBatty: Public Savant: FTA: So, he said, he stuffed his wife's body, face-down, into a drum of boiling water - and cooked it. For four days.

Well done!

Admittedly I know I rarely have the patience to braise an old steak for more than an hour, but I do fondly remember my mother's short ribs when the meat just fell off the bone


Did she taste as good as it sounds?
 
2012-09-19 02:41:45 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: RoyBatty: Public Savant: FTA: So, he said, he stuffed his wife's body, face-down, into a drum of boiling water - and cooked it. For four days.

Well done!

Admittedly I know I rarely have the patience to braise an old steak for more than an hour, but I do fondly remember my mother's short ribs when the meat just fell off the bone

Did she taste as good as it sounds?


Parts did. Other parts, not so much.
 
2012-09-19 02:50:41 AM
"The old Troll sat beneath the bridge
And waited out the hours
He dreamed of pretty princesses
And white and lofty towers
He longed to eat the sweetest treat
And one he'd never tasted
A maiden fair beyond compare
Spiced and nicely basted"

The Old Troll and the Maiden
by Glass Hammer
 
2012-09-19 02:54:49 AM

RoyBatty: Does it seem odd the article quotes him as saying he killed his wife by accident, but the article doesn't describe what that accident was, or how it supposedly occurred?


According to this article he thought his wife had been stealing money from their restaurant and snapped and put duct tape across her mouth and bound her arms & legs with duct tape. When he awoke later on he found her dead.
 
2012-09-19 03:02:05 AM

Bathia_Mapes: RoyBatty: Does it seem odd the article quotes him as saying he killed his wife by accident, but the article doesn't describe what that accident was, or how it supposedly occurred?

According to this article he thought his wife had been stealing money from their restaurant and snapped and put duct tape across her mouth and bound her arms & legs with duct tape. When he awoke later on he found her dead.


Yeah, not sure I would call that an accident. Manslaughter? Negligent homicide? But not really an accident.

Honestly officer, I thought the gun was filled with blanks. I only meant to scare them. My bad, amirite!? ... Can I go now?
 
2012-09-19 03:06:35 AM

RoyBatty: Negligent homicide


I'd go with negligent homicide myself, but his wife's death doesn't sound accidental to me either.
 
2012-09-19 03:24:19 AM
This is what happens when you name a new drug "bath salts"...nobody takes you seriously.
 
2012-09-19 03:26:08 AM
www.geekologie.com

What I imagine her looking like after 3 days...
 
2012-09-19 03:34:08 AM
Food network is trying to compete with Dexter?
 
2012-09-19 03:56:57 AM
Neighbors became suspicious after smelling fish for three days.
 
2012-09-19 04:23:07 AM
"You cooked on Dawn's body for four days?"

Sheriff nominated for Unnecessary Preposition of the Year Award
 
2012-09-19 04:26:34 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com
The damning evidence.
 
2012-09-19 04:37:16 AM
Reading Dawn's review of their restaurant shortly before her own death is very eerie.
 
2012-09-19 05:10:05 AM

Shani: Reading Dawn's review of their restaurant shortly before her own death is very eerie.


OK, which of you Farkers is responsible for this?
Try the Boiled Wife
by Tom Leykis (1 review)
Amazing food here. Hasn't been open often lately, but they take so much time making their food with care. Recently, I had some Boiled Wife from here, and they told me that she had cooked slowly for four whole days. Who else puts in that time and effort cooking their own spouse? Absolutely great.
 
2012-09-19 05:11:39 AM
this actually kind of turns my stomach.
 
2012-09-19 05:12:28 AM
Secret's in the sauce...
 
2012-09-19 07:00:30 AM
He poured her remains into the gease trap... that stuff gets recycled and used for other products (animal feed mostly I think). Gross.
 
2012-09-19 07:34:39 AM
Completely understandable because it was probably the only way he could get her to cook.
 
2012-09-19 08:18:14 AM
placing eventual reference to coffee women and being ground up and in the freezer.



/shuddup. someone had to say it
 
2012-09-19 08:22:37 AM
Even bones don't break down after cooking for 4 days, what did he do with the skeleton?
 
2012-09-19 08:32:51 AM

kimwim: Even bones don't break down after cooking for 4 days, what did he do with the skeleton?


Probably made a nice soup stock.
 
2012-09-19 08:51:26 AM

headhurt: [www.geekologie.com image 450x338]

What I imagine her looking like after 3 days...


what the fark is that? chicken in a can? lol yuk. that just screams being on the toilet all night
 
2012-09-19 08:53:01 AM

Freakin Rican: headhurt: [www.geekologie.com image 450x338]

What I imagine her looking like after 3 days...

what the fark is that? chicken in a can? lol yuk. that just screams being on the toilet all night


Just think of it as a nice thick stock.
 
2012-09-19 09:28:44 AM
i2.listal.com
 
2012-09-19 09:53:40 AM
I would not have eaten at his restaurant, boiled for 4 days? That does not sound like an appetizing anything.
If he had smoked her for 4 days, maybe, maybe I'd be interested.
 
2012-09-19 09:57:08 AM
That is one MEAN Chopped basket right there....

"And your ingredients are: Figs, Jelly Beans, Your Dead Wife's Body, and Chickpeas. You have 30 minutes, time starts now"
 
2012-09-19 10:13:22 AM

RoyBatty: Bathia_Mapes: RoyBatty: Does it seem odd the article quotes him as saying he killed his wife by accident, but the article doesn't describe what that accident was, or how it supposedly occurred?

According to this article he thought his wife had been stealing money from their restaurant and snapped and put duct tape across her mouth and bound her arms & legs with duct tape. When he awoke later on he found her dead.

Yeah, not sure I would call that an accident. Manslaughter? Negligent homicide? But not really an accident.

Honestly officer, I thought the gun was filled with blanks. I only meant to scare them. My bad, amirite!? ... Can I go now?


I accidentally punched my wife repeatedly, tied her up, gagged her and then promptly forgot about her. You know, let her lay there alone, she had to stew alone and THINK about what she had done to me! I didn't know she'd get hurt...
 
2012-09-19 10:17:00 AM
He just wanted her to 'Rest in Peas '
 
2012-09-19 10:17:09 AM

LordOfThePings: "You cooked on Dawn's body for four days?"

Sheriff nominated for Unnecessary Preposition of the Year Award


I couldn't help but read that in nearly the strongest backwoods hillbilly accent imaginable... The only thing that would've made it stronger is adding "done did" before "cooked"...
 
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