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(Smithsonian Magazine)   Scholar unveils 1,600 year old Coptic papyrus fragment where Jesus says "my wife". Scholar thinks she may have also made out the words "take" and "please"   (smithsonianmag.com) divider line 186
    More: Interesting, Coptic, jesus, Early Christian, Mary Magdalene, Harvard Square, gallery, Biblical studies, ancient Egyptians  
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4973 clicks; posted to Geek » on 18 Sep 2012 at 6:05 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-18 05:15:18 PM
As evidence that the real-life Jesus was married, the fragment is scarcely more dispositive than Brown's controversial 2003 novel, The Da Vinci Code.


Also, in before "LULZ the bibbl is fiction except fer this one phrase."
 
2012-09-18 05:18:19 PM
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE I MUST GO BLOW UP SOMETHING RIGHT N- actually, this is kind of interesting.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-09-18 05:19:32 PM
Did it say wife or "partner"?
 
2012-09-18 05:20:51 PM
Not sure I trust Coptic documents on major religious figures...
 
2012-09-18 05:36:19 PM
Now if it was 2100 years old, and a Roman legal document, we might have something.
 
2012-09-18 05:36:21 PM
Mai Waifu
 
2012-09-18 05:50:37 PM
Must play Gabriel Knight 3 again...
 
2012-09-18 05:51:06 PM

vpb: Did it say wife or "partner"?


"Companion."

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Not sure I trust Coptic documents on major religious figures...


I only trust ancient Greek documents that reference Scientology and Mormonism.
 
2012-09-18 05:54:10 PM

SphericalTime: "Companion."

 
2012-09-18 05:58:44 PM

SphericalTime: vpb: Did it say wife or "partner"?

"Companion."

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Not sure I trust Coptic documents on major religious figures...

I only trust ancient Greek documents that reference Scientology and Mormonism.


So Jesus was really The Doctor?
 
2012-09-18 06:00:13 PM
freeversephotography.com
 
2012-09-18 06:08:14 PM

GilRuiz1: As evidence that the real-life Jesus was married, the fragment is scarcely more dispositive than Brown's controversial 2003 novel, The Da Vinci Code.


Also, in before "LULZ the bibbl is fiction except fer this one phrase."


Aight, how about: LULZ the bibbl is fiction including this one phrase
 
2012-09-18 06:09:42 PM
This just in: Only one guy in the history of forever was named Jesus
 
2012-09-18 06:10:06 PM
Scholar unveils 1,600 year old Coptic papyrus fragement where Jesus says "my wife".

Unless a bunch of the other stuff in the Bible is wrong, then Jesus probably wasn't doing much speaking in the 5th century.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-09-18 06:12:52 PM
Old news. Not because it was written over 1,000 years ago, but because this is a previously known heresy / alternative history of Jesus.

Did it say wife or "partner"?

Interesting question, possibly one one whose answer was already lost in translation at the time.

Driving to Ohio I heard awful Christian radio with the usual shouting sermons. When I got into the Great Plains, more or less, the religious programming turned interesting at times. One of the programs was about inferring the existence of ancient divorce from the trichotomy of unmarried people in one book the Bible. There were words for never-married, widowed, and a third class. The third class is not never married and not widowed, so presumably divorced. But to study this sort of thing properly you need to work with the original material, not an English translation or even a Greek translation.
 
2012-09-18 06:14:31 PM
the name "Coptic" itself conjures up images of semen coated things..?? anyone else this happen to??
 
2012-09-18 06:20:11 PM
Who dafuq cares?
 
2012-09-18 06:21:19 PM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Not sure I trust Coptic documents on major religious figures...


Clearly this fairy tale document lacks the credibility of the other fairy tale documents. It's kinda like if someone did Jesus/Star Trek slash fiction. They have no place in the official fictions.
 
2012-09-18 06:23:23 PM

Nabb1: THIS IS AN OUTRAGE I MUST GO BLOW UP SOMETHING RIGHT N- actually, this is kind of interesting.


These are Christians we're talking about. I mean, we are dicks from time to time but uh... not big on the whole "let's burn shiat down and kill people" anymore.

doglover: Now if it was 2100 years old, and a Roman legal document, we might have something.


Ding ding ding. This.

Probably a gnostic fragment. They're not from the time of Jesus, but since Christians at the time wanted to know as much info as they could about Jesus, people started to make up stuff 120-400 years after the fact.
 
2012-09-18 06:23:31 PM
So close, subby. It should have been "taketh mine wife - please."
 
2012-09-18 06:24:34 PM
I get the feeling that this is just a very old example of slash fiction.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-09-18 06:24:55 PM
Probably a gnostic fragment. They're not from the time of Jesus, but since Christians at the time wanted to know as much info as they could about Jesus, people started to make up stuff 120-400 years after the fact.

I've called them "Jesus fanfic."
 
2012-09-18 06:25:50 PM

Theaetetus: Scholar unveils 1,600 year old Coptic papyrus fragement where Jesus says "my wife".

Unless a bunch of the other stuff in the Bible is wrong, then Jesus probably wasn't doing much speaking in the 5th century.


He didn't really catch on right away. It'd kinda like how in a couple of centuries Ke$ha's going to be considered a visionary.
 
2012-09-18 06:28:53 PM
Interesting, because:

It's relatively close to a contemporary and independent account
Some scholars have noted that an unmarried 30-ish Jewish man would have been unusual
Gospels rejected by the Council of Nicaea reportedly describe Mary Magdalen as his wife

//and lastly, internet conspiracy theories casually theorizing is so much fun
//I am not a scholar
 
Xai
2012-09-18 06:32:43 PM

GilRuiz1: As evidence that the real-life Jesus was married, the fragment is scarcely more dispositive than Brown's controversial 2003 novel, The Da Vinci Code.


Also, in before "LULZ the bibbl is fiction except fer this one phrase."


Also in before the LULZ the bible is truth except for this one phrase
 
2012-09-18 06:34:12 PM
It doesn't say "wife," it says "Japanese brother."
 
2012-09-18 06:34:54 PM

ZAZ: But to study this sort of thing properly you need to work with the original material, not an English translation or even a Greek translation.


You are gonna run into a lot of problems with that one...Since I believe the earliest versions are either in Roman or Greek.

Kids, Thanks Emperor Constantine for having the Council of Nicaea burn any "unorthodox" books 

upload.wikimedia.org 

(And Santa Claus, cause he punched out another bishop for claiming that Jesus wasn't part of The Word)
 
2012-09-18 06:36:05 PM

ZAZ: Probably a gnostic fragment. They're not from the time of Jesus, but since Christians at the time wanted to know as much info as they could about Jesus, people started to make up stuff 120-400 years after the fact.

I've called them "Jesus fanfic."


or The Bible.

The earliest Christians thought Jesus was coming back real soon, so there was no need to write shiat down and they didn't until it started dawning on them that maybe it wasn't going to be so soon.
 
2012-09-18 06:37:42 PM

12349876: The earliest Christians thought Jesus was coming back real soon, so there was no need to write shiat down and they didn't until it started dawning on them that maybe it wasn't going to be so soon.


For me I'd think something is up when Paul stole the religion and started acting like a douche. You'd have to look at each other and say, "The old guy was better... this farking sucks."
 
2012-09-18 06:41:21 PM
This will not likely change any minds on the hard right (fundies) or hard left (atheists). Is Jesus' wife making a play for the independent voters?

/sorry. too much time spent in the Politics tab
 
2012-09-18 06:43:28 PM
"Please, folks, tithe your waiter. And try the fish hoagies."
 
2012-09-18 06:44:09 PM

MontanaDave: This will not likely change any minds on the hard right (fundies) or hard left (atheists). Is Jesus' wife making a play for the independent voters?

/sorry. too much time spent in the Politics tab


In fact, this is old news for a lot of us on the left. It's been widely speculated that Heyzeus was married since it would have been very, very odd for a Rabbi not to be married at that time.
 
2012-09-18 06:54:48 PM
It's bullshiat. Jesus was the ultimate bachelor. He was shacked up with a whore, talked smack, beat up government officials, drank copious amounts of wine, fished and they killed him for it.
 
2012-09-18 07:03:07 PM

PapaChester: It doesn't say "wife," it says "Japanese brother."


"Verily I say unto you, kyaaa~ onii-chan is so kawaii!"
 
2012-09-18 07:04:19 PM
Oh wow...oh Coptic. Oh.

Coptic is to Christian what cocaine is to Coca Cola.
 
2012-09-18 07:04:52 PM

Mercutio74: MontanaDave: This will not likely change any minds on the hard right (fundies) or hard left (atheists). Is Jesus' wife making a play for the independent voters?

/sorry. too much time spent in the Politics tab

In fact, this is old news for a lot of us on the left. It's been widely speculated that Heyzeus was married since it would have been very, very odd for a Rabbi not to be married at that time.


In fact, it's said that the earliest church leaders were women. It was Mary Mad who saw and recognized the risen Jesus first. She was never a prostitute, that came from a Pope Gregory sermon, which the Vatican had dismissed in 1969
 
2012-09-18 07:06:36 PM

Smeggy Smurf: It's bullshiat. Jesus was the ultimate bachelor. He was shacked up with a whore, talked smack, beat up government officials, drank copious amounts of wine, fished and they killed him for it.


You forgot the part where he biatch slapped Satan and stole the keys to hell. It happened right after he said, "I'm about to do some pretty crazy shizz up in here, and people are gonna call bullshiat...but if you believe that I can do everything they say, then you can come on up to my dad's place for a killer party that lasts forever...whoop whoop!"

/Paraphrasing.
//Jesus was a bad ass.
 
2012-09-18 07:13:03 PM

aspAddict: //Jesus was a bad ass.


2.bp.blogspot.com

SAVIOR SMASH!
 
2012-09-18 07:13:13 PM

Marine1: Nabb1: THIS IS AN OUTRAGE I MUST GO BLOW UP SOMETHING RIGHT N- actually, this is kind of interesting.

These are Christians we're talking about. I mean, we are dicks from time to time but uh... not big on the whole "let's burn shiat down and kill people" anymore.

doglover: Now if it was 2100 years old, and a Roman legal document, we might have something.

Ding ding ding. This.

Probably a gnostic fragment. They're not from the time of Jesus, but since Christians at the time wanted to know as much info as they could about Jesus, people started to make up stuff 120-400 years after the fact.


Like when most of the books of New Testament were thought to have been written?

The Coptics were the ones who walked out when Constantine forced his version of canon on the "Christians." I'm far more inclined to accept their version than anything dreamt up by Augustine and the rest of the Roman theologians.

Look at the Gospel of St. Thomas, recovered from India where he'd been doing his preaching. Absolutely nothing there about divinity, about immaculate conceptions, miracles. Just plain teachings from Jesus about how to live with one's neighbors in a loving way.

Hell, researchers authenticated a Gospel of Judas about the time that they authenticated those of Thomas and of Mary Magdalene. That sure was some good reporting on his suicide. But then those books only reflected the teachings of the followers of the original Apostles so the whole Bible is a cherry-picked game of "telephone."
 
2012-09-18 07:20:11 PM
Good thing my Grandmother has dementia. If she read this...damn!

/Daughter says every time you see a rainbow god is having gay sex
// laughs when mom hears it and starts speaking in tongues
/// fun slashies
 
2012-09-18 07:21:35 PM
Before the Christian Right™ will believe it they will want to see the long form papyrus.
 
2012-09-18 07:29:34 PM

Refudiated Strategerist: Before the Christian Right™ will believe it they will want to see the long form papyrus.


And you know that even if they do, they'll still be convinced that he's from Nubia.
 
2012-09-18 07:32:34 PM

Refudiated Strategerist: Before the Christian Right™ will believe it they will want to see the long form papyrus.


As a member of the Protestant Libertarians (Luther would've been one): The Christian Right looks more like "Stormtroopers for the 8% of his life that we recognize".

FUN FACT: "A day is like a millennium, and a millennium is like a day" is a line from God in the bible. The process of how God created the animals is the same pattern as evolution. Mary Magdalene is almost certainly Jesus' wife. Jesus calls himself the "Son of Man" not "Son of God" until the crucifixion. Even the Catholic Church has stated in the past that Jesus didn't become The Messiah until he died, and that the miracles he performed were divine, but not sacrosanct.

Bring this shiat up the next time some Young-Earth Creationist tries to argue against both Intelligent Design *AND* Evolution.

/"In the beginning there was the WORD, and the WORD was "El ohim" (The Light). And He said "Let There Be Light!" and there was."... sounds a lot like the Big Bang, huh? AMUSE YOUR BLIND SHEEP FRIENDS!
//Then bring up "Why aren't all the Apostles books in the Bible? For that matter, how come the Book of Enoch isn't even considered Apocrypha? What about the books written AFTER the Visions of John (Revelations)?".
///I. LOVE. Watching people with BLIND FAITH twitch. If you have no philosophy to your religion, you are EVERYTHING Jesus said not to be.
 
2012-09-18 07:33:01 PM
If you really want to get technical, originally Christ had 8 wives.

Rukmini, Satyabhama, Jambavati, Kalindi, Mitravrinda, Nagnajiti, Bhadra, and Lakshana.
 
2012-09-18 07:37:24 PM

Smeggy Smurf: It's bullshiat. Jesus was the ultimate bachelor. He was shacked up with a whore, talked smack, beat up government officials, drank copious amounts of wine, fished and they killed him for it.


Judus was jealous of his Pimp hand?
 
2012-09-18 07:38:24 PM
i177.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-18 07:38:44 PM

Kome: I get the feeling that this is just a very old example of slash fiction.


it's not homoerotic, so of course it isn't
 
2012-09-18 07:42:33 PM

theorellior: aspAddict: //Jesus was a bad ass.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 500x725]

SAVIOR SMASH!


Puny Satan
 
2012-09-18 07:46:25 PM

doglover: Now if it was 2100 years old, and a Roman legal document, we might have something.


I demand to see copies of his tax records!
 
2012-09-18 07:46:48 PM

J. Frank Parnell: If you really want to get technical, originally Christ had 8 wives.

Rukmini, Satyabhama, Jambavati, Kalindi, Mitravrinda, Nagnajiti, Bhadra, and Lakshana.


Was this in the kingdom of Prester John?
 
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