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(AZCentral)   Attention, Farkers: In West Virginia it is not a crime to steal, sexually assault and then kill your neighbor's goat while dressed in women's clothing and high on bath salts. Repeat: It is not a crime   (azcentral.com ) divider line
    More: Followup, West Virginia, petty larcenies, goats, pygmy goat  
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4946 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Sep 2012 at 10:29 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-18 10:30:05 AM  
almost Heaven, West Virginia...
 
2012-09-18 10:31:28 AM  
Well at least I know where next years vacation will be now.
 
2012-09-18 10:31:32 AM  
ROAD TRIP!
 
2012-09-18 10:31:32 AM  
Bath salts? I call bullshiat. Why not regular ol PCP?
 
2012-09-18 10:33:30 AM  
Stealing the goat is definitely a crime in West By God Virginia. Cross dressing and interspecies erotica are first amendment issues. I'm not sure what the legal status of bath salts is. Slaughtering the goat isn't a crime, but it kinda is if it isn;t your goat. One, maybe two crimes in there.

/don't do drugs kids. They make you do really dumb things.
 
2012-09-18 10:33:38 AM  
I freakin' LOVE West Virginia. Oh the lulz.

:-)
 
2012-09-18 10:33:52 AM  
Thank god we have a Florida tag for dumb states so West Virginia is off the hook.
 
2012-09-18 10:34:04 AM  
So my weekend's booked. Whatcha guys doing next week?
 
2012-09-18 10:34:30 AM  
I don't know, getting arrested and charged for Animal Cruelty and Petite Larceny seem like crimes to me.
 
2012-09-18 10:34:47 AM  

KrispyKritter: almost Heaven, West Virginia Vagina...


FTFY

Not mentally competent. Agreed.
 
2012-09-18 10:35:00 AM  
RTFA

"Kanawha County Circuit Court Judge James Stucky ruled Monday that Mark Lucas Thompson of Alum Creek is not competent for trial on the charges he faces for animal cruelty.
The Charleston Gazette reports that the decision comes after several mental evaluations. Stucky instead ordered that Thompson spend six and a half years in treatment at the William R. Sharpe Jr. Hospital in Weston."
 
2012-09-18 10:35:13 AM  
An unsolicited finger in the anus, while crude, is not criminal.
 
2012-09-18 10:36:06 AM  
Well, the guy did earn himself 6 years in the nuthouse, so it's not like he walked away. Baaaaad news, that.
 
2012-09-18 10:36:22 AM  
FTA: indicted for animal cruelty and petit larceny.

Which means it's illegal.

Also FTA:
Circuit Court Judge James Stucky ruled Monday that Mark Lucas Thompson of Alum Creek is not competent for trial on the charges he faces for animal cruelty.

Which is a different thing altogether.

But in subby's defense, the article was 4 whole paragraphs and he couldn't read the whole thing.
 
2012-09-18 10:37:10 AM  
Well Todd Akin has one voter who thinks rape is not a crime now. At least the Goat didn't get pregnant!
 
2012-09-18 10:38:10 AM  

z3for2: Thank god we have a Florida tag for dumb states so West Virginia is off the hook.


I'm pretty sure the only thing that keeps states like WV from deserving a tag is the population. 1.8 million inbred, toothless hicks just can't keep up with 20 million old people, swampbillies and car-door immigrants.
 
2012-09-18 10:38:17 AM  
I once visited West By God Virginia for work.

The number of people missing teeth on that plane still frightens me in a way that is indescribable.

And those were the people who could afford plane tickets...
 
2012-09-18 10:39:25 AM  
Well, that's a load off my mind.
 
2012-09-18 10:40:24 AM  

lordluzr: So my weekend's booked. Whatcha guys doing next week?


Obligatory old joke:

Guy 1: If you were to wake up in the woods one morning, with your underwear down around your ankles and your butthole all sore and gooey, would you tell anyone?

Guy 2: Hell no!

Guy 1: wanna go camping this weekend?
 
2012-09-18 10:41:06 AM  

APE992: Bath salts? I call bullshiat. Why not regular ol PCP?


This. And too elite for teh meth?
 
2012-09-18 10:43:34 AM  

KrispyKritter: almost Heaven, West Virginia...


"Almost Heaven." That'd be Purgatory...

I have family in West Virginia. They are surprisingly normal and intelligent. Well, aside from my drunk uncle. Alcohol's kinda rotted his brain. (Alcoholic dementia is a sad, sad thing...)

/Pretty state.
//Wouldn't want to live there.
///Visiting's fine.
 
2012-09-18 10:44:26 AM  
He gets to spend 6 years in the crazy bin though. Don't know how that will help things (other than a lack of goats), better than jail I suppose.
 
2012-09-18 10:46:24 AM  
Wow, that's some reading comprehension fail. I'd ask to have this pulled just from being so embarrassed.
 
2012-09-18 10:48:13 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-09-18 10:48:31 AM  
Is it the same for sheep?
 
2012-09-18 10:48:45 AM  
Isn't that just called Friday night there?
 
2012-09-18 11:00:06 AM  
Will someone please think of the kids!
 
2012-09-18 11:00:12 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Pygmy goat. Weighs 50 to 60 pounds. The goat farker has a needle dick.
Judge: Why did you kill the goat?
Whack job guy: When we were done and I asked her how was it she said "baaaaaaaa"
 
2012-09-18 11:01:23 AM  
Peanut butter mutton time.
 
2012-09-18 11:03:21 AM  
This is the kind of thing that will start the next Hatfield-McCoy feud.
 
2012-09-18 11:05:13 AM  
Ever notice how sex crimes are like Clue?

In West Virginia, with a Goat!
 
2012-09-18 11:08:24 AM  

stuhayes2010: FTA: indicted for animal cruelty and petit larceny.
Which means it's illegal.

Also FTA:
"Circuit Court Judge James Stucky ruled Monday that Mark Lucas Thompson of Alum Creek is not competent for trial on the charges he faces for animal cruelty."

Which is a different thing altogether.
But in subby's defense, the article was 4 whole paragraphs and he couldn't read the whole thing.


Being "not competent to stand trial" means a person is unable to to understand the court proceedings and purposes because of mental disease or defect.

Perhaps subby was not competent to understand the article.


/AIAL
 
2012-09-18 11:13:18 AM  
How many times do I have to say this? "The lingerie goes on the goat!"


You, sir, were most definitely doing it wrong! 

/"if o'er land or sea I roam, still I'll think of happy home and the glory of those West Virginia hills."
 
2012-09-18 11:14:18 AM  
Appalachian Americans
 
2012-09-18 11:20:51 AM  
Now if it were a sheep, then that would be baaaaad. Because the goats deserved it.
 
2012-09-18 11:21:28 AM  
"Ew, isn't WV that place where people consort with goats and sheep and chickens?"

WV native: "Chickens? That's DISGUSTING!"


/actually members of a nudist colony in Paw Paw
//nice place, esp. compared to DC
 
2012-09-18 11:22:07 AM  
Is pygmy goat sex related to midget tossing? If it is,count me in.
 
2012-09-18 11:26:02 AM  
media.pet-abuse.com

Pygmy Goat Farker
 
2012-09-18 11:35:15 AM  
Does the goat hang around in bars?
 
2012-09-18 11:37:39 AM  
First they came for the kleptomaniac necrophilic transvestite beastialists, and I didn't say anything because I wasn't a kleptomaniac necrophilic transvestite beastialist....
 
2012-09-18 11:40:28 AM  
Creekers
 
2012-09-18 11:48:07 AM  
West Virginia: 1.8 million people, eight last names.
 
2012-09-18 11:51:01 AM  
That's... actually pretty damned sophisticated. Must have been a WVU student.

\love Morgantown, grandparents lived there, grandfather was faculty
\\would put this into the "frat boy hijinks" category
 
2012-09-18 11:51:56 AM  
Crime? They lobbied for it to be an event in London.
 
2012-09-18 12:01:22 PM  
"Theese ees Daisy."
 
2012-09-18 12:05:07 PM  

BolloxReader: That's... actually pretty damned sophisticated. Must have been a WVU student.

\love Morgantown, grandparents lived there, grandfather was faculty
\\would put this into the "frat boy hijinks" category


Morgantown,

Where there bar specials include "Free from 9-11 Fridays", "Penny Pitchers", "Black Out Tuesday"

/ Former WVU student.
// WVU is currently #1 party school, so nyah.
/// My tenure from freshman to senior and +1 party school rankings of #4, 2, 1, 3.
 
2012-09-18 12:12:35 PM  
www.panama-guide.com

is amused
 
2012-09-18 12:14:17 PM  
cdn.motinetwork.net
 
2012-09-18 12:36:04 PM  
At least there's a good chance they aren't related.
 
2012-09-18 12:40:02 PM  
"I'm from West Virginia, do they call me 'Mark the West Virginian'? No! But you fark one goat...."
 
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