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(Business Insider)   Russian sub spotted in gulf. Of Mexico. Cold war or Coke war?   (businessinsider.com) divider line 137
    More: Interesting, Gulf of Mexico, cold-war, Russians, cat-and-mouse game, incursions  
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12679 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Sep 2012 at 11:54 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-18 09:32:32 AM
I ain't never seen no phantom Russian submarine
 
2012-09-18 09:34:33 AM
jaypgreene.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-09-18 10:04:05 AM
I was waiting for it after reading nearly through the entire article.

Yes. Left satisfied that the author ultimately blamed it on Obama.
 
2012-09-18 10:09:07 AM
So unnamed Navy sources tell some random blogger that we just detected a Russian sub that we didn't detect, combined with a plug to not take away the Navy anti-submarine money, which this concerned blogger manages to spin into an attack on Obama?

What was the point again?
 
2012-09-18 10:26:25 AM

KyngNothing:
What was the point again?


that pretty much sums it up.
 
2012-09-18 10:29:34 AM
I'm pretty sure that most of the Gulf of Mexico is international waters. Which means the Russians could park a dozen subs there and we couldn't do a damn thing about it.

This is clearly Obama's fault.
 
2012-09-18 10:58:19 AM
That thing must be 20 years old, with not a great deal of money for upkeep. God bless those submariners. They'll be lucky if they make it home to mother Russia without sinking. Well, sinking further. Stop laughing at me!
 
2012-09-18 11:05:14 AM

KyngNothing: So unnamed Navy sources tell some random blogger that we just detected a Russian sub that we didn't detect, combined with a plug to not take away the Navy anti-submarine money, which this concerned blogger manages to spin into an attack on Obama?

What was the point again?


I don't know my head hurts..
 
2012-09-18 11:09:41 AM
Meh...

/just came in for a lube job
 
2012-09-18 11:12:27 AM
I see on top of everything else we've redefined 'everyone' this morning to mean one blog.
 
2012-09-18 11:51:26 AM
Attack submarine, so no nukes, cruising in international waters. We didn't detect it, unless we did and told this one blogger guy.

But it's Russian, so I think I should panic. Can anyone confirm?
 
2012-09-18 11:56:32 AM
WOLVERINES!

/had to be done
 
2012-09-18 11:57:20 AM
Russian sub spotted in gulf. Of Mexico.

Could be heard from the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Russian subs are noisy suckers.
 
2012-09-18 11:57:53 AM
Probably headed for Orleans for a beer and po boys.
 
2012-09-18 11:58:34 AM

Russian sub spotted in gulf. Of Mexico.


OMG THEY'RE GONNA INVADE GEORGIA AGAIN!!
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-09-18 11:59:02 AM
The story is odd not only because such a mission would be unusual and alarming

How is this alarming? We operate submarines near Russia all the time. Any how is it "evidently undetected". He think that the navy must not know that it's there (even though some reporter can detect it) or they would be attacking it or something?
 
2012-09-18 11:59:27 AM
Undetected? Or was it?
 
2012-09-18 12:01:04 PM

BunkyBrewman: I was waiting for it after reading nearly through the entire article.

Yes. Left satisfied that the author ultimately blamed it on Obama.


Did they mention this means Mitt's correct about Russia being our enemy after all, or did they just leave that as an implication for future FWD:FWD:FWD WHAT THE US ISN'T TELLING US ABOUT RUSSIA emails?
 
2012-09-18 12:01:13 PM

BalugaJoe: Probably headed for Orleans for a beer and po boys.


After picking up a cargo of good drugs to barter...
 
2012-09-18 12:01:21 PM
Someone call:

i.fokzine.net
 
2012-09-18 12:01:52 PM
Wasn't this debunked a few weeks ago? There is no possible way whatever class sub it was could actually go undetected, and this was just a rumor.

I thought that's what I read.
 
2012-09-18 12:03:25 PM
Maybe the Russians lost it...

www.wearysloth.com
 
2012-09-18 12:03:51 PM

KyngNothing: So unnamed Navy sources tell some random blogger that we just detected a Russian sub that we didn't detect, combined with a plug to not take away the Navy anti-submarine money, which this concerned blogger manages to spin into an attack on Obama?

What was the point again?


Vote Republican? That seems to be the motto of the past several years. Along with Government doesn't work and needs to be destroyed, so vote us into power so we can prove it.
 
2012-09-18 12:03:51 PM
I think The Navy might have addressed this if it were serious.
 
2012-09-18 12:04:47 PM
Was it playing Pavarotti?
 
2012-09-18 12:04:48 PM
Hmmm...the Akulas were the business back in the 90s. Not terribly quiet, but much faster than an American 688, and larger warhead on the fish too.

Not sure how they compare to the Sea Wolf, probably not well.
 
2012-09-18 12:05:23 PM

PsyLord: Maybe the Russians lost it...

[www.wearysloth.com image 320x240]


He's a politician, if he's not kissing babies he's stealing their candy.
 
2012-09-18 12:05:31 PM
Decommissioned or stolen, the next step in the Narco Wars.
 
2012-09-18 12:05:37 PM

SoupJohnB: BalugaJoe: Probably headed for Orleans for a beer and po boys.

After picking up a cargo of good drugs to barter...


you'd need a cargo of drugs to buy a poor boy these days.

/ farking expensive sandwiches these days.
 
2012-09-18 12:06:10 PM
Why didn't they wait til after the election like they were told!
 
2012-09-18 12:06:30 PM

Jubeebee: But it's Russian, so I think I should panic. Can anyone confirm?


Yeah, I'm not finding much to be worked up about, considering our sub detection capabilities these days are pretty farking incredible.
 
2012-09-18 12:06:40 PM
Well, well! Looks like Romney was right! Russia IS the biggest threat facing the US, and 0bama just let them piss in our faces! Checkmate, libtards!
 
2012-09-18 12:07:49 PM
Does Russia not have GPS? Or Google Maps?
 
2012-09-18 12:08:10 PM
That's a Lada submarine......



media.techeblog.com
 
2012-09-18 12:08:22 PM
It's a plot. Well, a treatment with plot points. No, wait, it's a high concept! That's it!
 
2012-09-18 12:09:25 PM
www.teachwithmovies.org

Must have been one of the Russky stealth submarines
 
2012-09-18 12:09:36 PM
When did international waters become American?

/must have missed that memo.
 
2012-09-18 12:09:47 PM
There is nothing to worry about, its just military surplus that was sold to a Mexican drug cartel.
 
2012-09-18 12:10:03 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: Russian sub spotted in gulf. Of Mexico.


OMG THEY'RE GONNA INVADE GEORGIA AGAIN!!


LoL :)

Also, I thought when Putin raises his head in the western hemisphere he went to Alaska :/
 
2012-09-18 12:10:38 PM
damn them listening to our rock and roll.
 
2012-09-18 12:12:18 PM

sweet-daddy-2: Does Russia not have GPS? Or Google Maps?


They follow the whales. Not to worry it'll beach its self in a few days.
 
2012-09-18 12:13:36 PM
Oh fer Chrissakes!

IF there was an Akula in international waters of course the Navy would be bird-dogging it. SOP.

Has anyone stopped to think that the Navy ain't gonna tell you about it, therefore giving out information on OUR subs capabilities?
 
2012-09-18 12:13:39 PM
US SIGINT knew exactly where all of the single pings came from
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-09-18 12:13:48 PM

Valiente: When did international waters become American?

/must have missed that memo.


It's out Gulf, that's why it's called the Gulf of 'merica.
 
2012-09-18 12:14:08 PM
because of the source - in this case, veteran national security reporter and former Washington Times columnist Bill Gertz via the conservative news website The Washington Free Beacon, launched in 2012.


And a bastion of un-asailable reporting as well. *facepalm* Two steps from Faux News.
Juuuust enough Right Wing Saber Rattling truth to be dangerous. 
Not to mention a long history of accurate re . . . 2012 you say? Would that be an election year perchance?
 
2012-09-18 12:15:54 PM
These same sources have reported troop movements of Redcoats in the vicinity of Lexington and Concord.

This is what happens when OBAMA refuses to fund the Continental Army.
 
2012-09-18 12:16:00 PM

Baby Face Fister: PsyLord: Maybe the Russians lost it...

[www.wearysloth.com image 320x240]

He's a politician, if he's not kissing babies he's stealing their candy lollipops.


FTFY
 
2012-09-18 12:16:54 PM

yesanded: These same sources have reported troop movements of Redcoats in the vicinity of Lexington and Concord.

This is what happens when OBAMA refuses to fund the Continental Army.


*golf clap*
 
2012-09-18 12:18:31 PM
Meh. I'm not very impressed. The Gulf is, as pointed out above, international waters and very easy to get into.

Let me know when they spot a Russian submarine in Lake Erie. That would impress me somewhat. Sneaking a nuclear submarine through the St. Lawrence Seaway or the Hudson-Erie Canal system would take some doing. I don't think the locks can handle a ship that big.
 
2012-09-18 12:18:44 PM

Sultan Of Herf: Hmmm...the Akulas were the business back in the 90 80s. Not terribly quiet, but much faster than an American 688, and larger warhead on the fish too.

Not sure how they compare to the Sea Wolf, probably not well.


FTFY. I saw a plaque in the wardroom of the USS Olympia (SSN-717) that said "Akula Busters" sometime back in 1988-1989 or so.

Wikipedia confirms they were first deployed back in 1986.
 
2012-09-18 12:19:42 PM

yesanded: These same sources have reported troop movements of Redcoats in the vicinity of Lexington and Concord.

This is what happens when OBAMA refuses to fund the Continental Army.


Well, they're only obligated to follow 60% of his orders anyway.
 
2012-09-18 12:20:31 PM

Boudica's War Tampon: [www.teachwithmovies.org image 330x475]

Must have been one of the Russky stealth submarines


Thank You
 
2012-09-18 12:20:47 PM
One ping only, Vasily.
 
2012-09-18 12:21:50 PM

Boudica's War Tampon: [www.teachwithmovies.org image 330x475]

Must have been one of the Russky stealth submarines


"Emer-gen-see Emer-gen-see. Everybody to get from street."
 
2012-09-18 12:24:20 PM
Russian Sub sat off the coast of Florida and played "village people - YMCA" 24/7 causing the west coast to panic.
 
2012-09-18 12:24:36 PM
Five years later.

g-ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2012-09-18 12:24:40 PM

KyngNothing: So unnamed Navy sources tell some random blogger that we just detected a Russian sub that we didn't detect, combined with a plug to not take away the Navy anti-submarine money, which this concerned blogger manages to spin into an attack on Obama?


Sadly this is a perfect recap of the 'article.'

/I would like to have seen Montana
 
2012-09-18 12:26:07 PM
Jesus Christ. Even the Russkies know about Panama City.
 
2012-09-18 12:26:23 PM

angry_scientist: US SIGINT SOSUS knew exactly where all of the single pings came from


FTFY. As an ex-SIGINT weenie, I can tell you that unless a submarine pokes an antenna above the surface and starts transmitting, SIGINT isn't really going to help you find them. The only exception to that would be if you copy orders from their command telling them to go to a specific place, and you can break whatever code and/or cipher system they happen to be using.
 
2012-09-18 12:26:30 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: Englebert Slaptyback: Russian sub spotted in gulf. Of Mexico.


OMG THEY'RE GONNA INVADE GEORGIA AGAIN!!

LoL :)

Also, I thought when Putin raises his head in the western hemisphere he went to Alaska :/


i48.tinypic.com

Think again...
 
2012-09-18 12:27:37 PM

CygnusDarius: Five years later.

[g-ecx.images-amazon.com image 800x450]


I can tolerate a lot of his faults, but I will not stand for Obama putting bugs in my video games. Mother farker probably personally made my followers disappear.
 
2012-09-18 12:28:37 PM
www.tomsoter.com


We will let the Americans listen to their rock and roll while we conduct missile drills...........
 
2012-09-18 12:29:45 PM
Cold war, cola war?

njnnetwork.com
 
2012-09-18 12:30:09 PM
Thanks, Romney...
 
2012-09-18 12:32:24 PM

ltdanman44


We will let the Americans listen to their rock and roll while we conduct missile drills...........


We will passh through the American patrolsh, pasht their shonar netsh, and lay off their largesht city, and lishten to their rock and roll... while we conduct misshile drillsh...
 
2012-09-18 12:32:58 PM
Time to get the Hitchcock Naval Air Station started again?

/was a base for submarine-detecting blimps
//yeah
 
2012-09-18 12:35:41 PM
Republican Senator John Cornyn, a member of the Armed Services Committee, has seized the issue and sent a letter to the Pentagon's Chief of Naval Operations demanding clarification,

Oh just shut the fark up already. Partisanship and escalating this gets you nothing except scorn from people who actually know a thing or two about these things, and Texans know farkall about submarines, or the ocean for that matter, except that there is oil under it. They, and we, have been doing this for so long that not only is this not news, but it's like old friends hanging out in the parking lot after the bar has closed and everyone is drinking from the cooler in the back. The only reason this is news is that someone forgot that both countries have been doing this.

The Washington Free Beacon

Oh, that explains all of this. Nobody forgot. Just someone remembered that submarines are in the water and somehow this is Obama's fault.

Putin has it easy. He doesn't have hacks like this ranting about how there are US subs in the Baltic and up by the Northern Fleet in the Arctic.
 
2012-09-18 12:36:13 PM
Wonder if the crew of the Akula will glow in the dark once their patrol is done...
 
2012-09-18 12:36:52 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: tinfoil-hat maggie: Englebert Slaptyback: Russian sub spotted in gulf. Of Mexico.


OMG THEY'RE GONNA INVADE GEORGIA AGAIN!!

LoL :)

Also, I thought when Putin raises his head in the western hemisphere he went to Alaska :/

[i48.tinypic.com image 800x600]

Think again...


Hahaha, nice :)
 
2012-09-18 12:37:20 PM
I would like to have seen Montana
 
2012-09-18 12:39:01 PM
May the hand of God be with you, Paul.

www.wearysloth.com
 
2012-09-18 12:41:33 PM
How does a sub detected in the Gulf of Mexico suddenly become undetected? The article made my head hurt
 
2012-09-18 12:42:00 PM
This business will get out of control. It will get out of control, and we will be lucky to live through it.
 
2012-09-18 12:42:14 PM

Jacobin: How does a sub detected in the Gulf of Mexico suddenly become undetected? The article made my head hurt


Magnets.
 
2012-09-18 12:42:59 PM
Cold wars over, thank farking god. Growing up in the 70's and 80's is hard to describe to my kids who's only fear is from incompetent Muslim extremist who apparently dont have any nukes. Unlike the commies who I was told daily were about to turn the entire planet into the universes largest glass parking lot. Its over. One of my best friends married a Russian m/o bride, had a kid, divorced and that lil Slavic looking boy is my godson.

I keep expecting ships and subs full of Russians to show up unannounced in all our major ports for weekend leave parties. Its way over due.
 
2012-09-18 12:43:35 PM

fappomatic: Jesus Christ. Even the Russkies know about Panama City.


So wait, it was here to do us a favor?
 
2012-09-18 12:44:00 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: ltdanman44

We will let the Americans listen to their rock and roll while we conduct missile drills...........


We will passh through the American patrolsh, pasht their shonar netsh, and lay off their largesht city, and lishten to their rock and roll... while we conduct misshile drillsh...


WE demand to know what you are looking for!!! You've dropped enough sonar buoy's in the north Atlantic that a person can walk from Greenland to Iceland to Scotland without getting his feet wet!!!
 
2012-09-18 12:44:11 PM
Stealing the oil we saved in the bottom!
 
2012-09-18 12:45:04 PM

orclover: Cold wars over, thank farking god. Growing up in the 70's and 80's is hard to describe to my kids who's only fear is from incompetent Muslim extremist who apparently dont have any nukes. Unlike the commies who I was told daily were about to turn the entire planet into the universes largest glass parking lot. Its over. One of my best friends married a Russian m/o bride, had a kid, divorced and that lil Slavic looking boy is my godson.

I keep expecting ships and subs full of Russians to show up unannounced in all our major ports for weekend leave parties. Its way over due.


Tourism rubles are the best rubles.
 
2012-09-18 12:45:31 PM

Jacobin: How does a sub detected in the Gulf of Mexico suddenly become undetected? The article made my head hurt


It's an Akula so it's not air dependent and won't surface. That means the only people who could've detected it and known the type are the Navy. Which didn't detect it. Indeed my head hurts. But at least it's Obama's fault.
 
2012-09-18 12:48:06 PM

MadMattressMack: Jacobin: How does a sub detected in the Gulf of Mexico suddenly become undetected? The article made my head hurt

It's an Akula so it's not air dependent and won't surface. That means the only people who could've detected it and known the type are the Navy. Which didn't detect it. Indeed my head hurts. But at least it's Obama's fault.


Sure, always blame the black guy.
 
2012-09-18 12:48:15 PM
There are not nearly enough Red October references in this thread.

/seriously
//buckaroo
 
2012-09-18 12:49:04 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: MadMattressMack: Jacobin: How does a sub detected in the Gulf of Mexico suddenly become undetected? The article made my head hurt

It's an Akula so it's not air dependent and won't surface. That means the only people who could've detected it and known the type are the Navy. Which didn't detect it. Indeed my head hurts. But at least it's Obama's fault.

Sure, always blame the black guy.


I wouldn't blame a black Russian, though.
 
2012-09-18 12:53:41 PM

orclover: Cold wars over, thank farking god. Growing up in the 70's and 80's is hard to describe to my kids who's only fear is from incompetent Muslim extremist who apparently dont have any nukes.


This is what gets me about this "war on terror." We're supposed to be afraid of Ahmed's farking underwear. The CIA press office was tossing around the word "sophisticated" when they were talking about the new models of underwear bombs on the farking Today show.

"Sophisticated" and "underwear bomb" don't even belong in the same farking sentence. Get back to me when Ahmed can launch underwear bombs over the north pole.

Unlike the commies who I was told daily were about to turn the entire planet into the universes largest glass parking lot. Its over.

Indeed.

I keep expecting ships and subs full of Russians to show up unannounced in all our major ports for weekend leave parties. Its way over due

What I would give to drink vodka with some Russian submariners in New Haven.
 
2012-09-18 12:55:08 PM

98K514: There are not nearly enough Red October references in this thread.

/seriously
//buckaroo


img250.imageshack.us

I wanted to post something relevent, but I am not in a condition to Fark.
 
2012-09-18 12:55:12 PM
Obama will have to remind Putin he is going to more flexible AFTER the election, not BEFORE.
 
2012-09-18 12:56:56 PM
Only somewhat related, but when I saw XKCD's graphic comparing ocean depths that included the Typhoon and Ohio-class submarine dive limits, I was surprised at how relatively "shallow" those depths actually are.

Also, I learned today, that the NATO-designated "Akula" class submarine and the Russian-designated "Akula" class submarine are in fact not the same submarine. Fascinating.

And by fascinating I mean needlessly confusing.
 
2012-09-18 12:57:32 PM

bubo_sibiricus: Putin has it easy. He doesn't have hacks like this ranting about how there are US subs in the Baltic and up by the Northern Fleet in the Arctic


FREE PUSSY RIOT!!!!
 
2012-09-18 12:58:04 PM

orclover: Cold wars over, thank farking god. Growing up in the 70's and 80's is hard to describe to my kids who's only fear is from incompetent Muslim extremist who apparently dont have any nukes. Unlike the commies who I was told daily were about to turn the entire planet into the universes largest glass parking lot. Its over. One of my best friends married a Russian m/o bride, had a kid, divorced and that lil Slavic looking boy is my godson.

I keep expecting ships and subs full of Russians to show up unannounced in all our major ports for weekend leave parties. Its way over due.


Give Pakistan another 10 years and that might change.
 
2012-09-18 01:02:31 PM

CygnusDarius: Five years later.


WOW, New Orleans has really cleaned itself up
 
2012-09-18 01:04:17 PM
Great submarine book, if you're into this kinda stuff.

upload.wikimedia.org

One of the more chilling incidents in the book was, the Americans knew where the Russian "Bastion" was hiding under the Arctic ice cap. So they decided to approach stealthily, and then hammered the idling Russian boomers with active sonar. Damn near caused 'em to launch.
 
2012-09-18 01:10:45 PM

Jubeebee: Attack submarine, so no nukes, cruising in international waters. We didn't detect it, unless we did and told this one blogger guy.

But it's Russian, so I think I should panic. Can anyone confirm?


The last time I checked, which was 1998, the Akula launched the SS-N-21 which is a long range land attack missile. It had a range of about 1600nm and was thought to have a nuclear warhead capability.

I'm fairly certain that an Akula operating in that area is not unheard of.
 
2012-09-18 01:11:52 PM

dittybopper: angry_scientist: US SIGINT SOSUS knew exactly where all of the single pings came from

FTFY. As an ex-SIGINT weenie, I can tell you that unless a submarine pokes an antenna above the surface and starts transmitting, SIGINT isn't really going to help you find them. The only exception to that would be if you copy orders from their command telling them to go to a specific place, and you can break whatever code and/or cipher system they happen to be using.


Well, okay. If you say so.
 
2012-09-18 01:19:56 PM
TFA: especially troubling given the drastic defense cuts sought by President Obama

Republicans are so fscking stupid.

The Russians are effectively a non-threat. Everybody other than you knows this -- including the Russians. Their ability to project any meaningful display of military prowess is severely geographically limited, and any resulting war with the US would be very short, regardless of any reasonable cuts in spending on homeland defense.

What they can do is to keep faking us out the way they did pretty much throughout the Cold War, causing us to steadily increase military spending as we spread our forces thinner and thinner, until a complete economic collapse is inevitable. They know how to do this, because that's what happened to them. We're heading down the same fscking path, and it's all thanks to you.
 
2012-09-18 01:20:01 PM

andyofne: It had a range of about 1600nm


Phew. We have nothing to worry about. 1600 nanometers is not very far. They should build better missiles.
 
2012-09-18 01:24:19 PM
They're probably practicing to invade Czechoslovakia and Fartbongo won't do a damn thing about that, because he'll be all like "Czechoslovakia was broken into the Czech Republic and Slovakia in 1994. Which one of them are they attacking?"

Then the next thing you know the God damn Rooskies have the whole Ottoman Empire and they're pushing into Moldavia.
 
2012-09-18 01:24:42 PM

andyofne: Jubeebee: Attack submarine, so no nukes, cruising in international waters. We didn't detect it, unless we did and told this one blogger guy.

But it's Russian, so I think I should panic. Can anyone confirm?

The last time I checked, which was 1998, the Akula launched the SS-N-21 which is a long range land attack missile. It had a range of about 1600nm and was thought to have a nuclear warhead capability.

I'm fairly certain that an Akula operating in that area is not unheard of.


Akulas were upgraded to fire 12 Granit Submarine launched Cruise missiles, fired from its 533mm Torpedo tubes. Its got around a 3,000km range and can deliver a 200kt warhead. For Anti ship missiles It can fire the SS-N-15 and SS-N-16, whats funny is these anti-ship missiles can be loaded with a 200kt warhead or Type 40 Torpedo.

Akula's have been upgraded time and time again, once used to combat Las Angelas class attack subs, they failed pretty miserable at it, so they were re-designed for land base attacks and anti shipping.
 
2012-09-18 01:25:32 PM

andyofne: dittybopper: angry_scientist: US SIGINT SOSUS knew exactly where all of the single pings came from

FTFY. As an ex-SIGINT weenie, I can tell you that unless a submarine pokes an antenna above the surface and starts transmitting, SIGINT isn't really going to help you find them. The only exception to that would be if you copy orders from their command telling them to go to a specific place, and you can break whatever code and/or cipher system they happen to be using.

Well, okay. If you say so.


I do believe that SOSUS is being erroneously referred to as SIGINT
 
2012-09-18 01:26:38 PM

wmoonfox: TFA: especially troubling given the drastic defense cuts sought by President Obama

Republicans are so fscking stupid.

The Russians are effectively a non-threat. Everybody other than you knows this -- including the Russians. Their ability to project any meaningful display of military prowess is severely geographically limited, and any resulting war with the US would be very short, regardless of any reasonable cuts in spending on homeland defense.

What they can do is to keep faking us out the way they did pretty much throughout the Cold War, causing us to steadily increase military spending as we spread our forces thinner and thinner, until a complete economic collapse is inevitable. They know how to do this, because that's what happened to them. We're heading down the same fscking path, and it's all thanks to you.


Which is why we are in an economic war, not a shooting war.
 
2012-09-18 01:27:10 PM
50 watts per channel, babycakes.
 
2012-09-18 01:28:07 PM
Too tired to post intelligently, so I'll let another submariner do it for me:

"Obviously, it's possible that a Russian SSN could travel to the Gulf of Mexico and cruise around for a month in international waters during peacetime, even though that has no real military value, as we have no real naval bases with things like major combatants in the Gulf, and what do you expect the U.S. to do to stop them from transiting international waters, fire at them and start a war? "
 
2012-09-18 01:40:22 PM

bubo_sibiricus: "Sophisticated" and "underwear bomb" don't even belong in the same farking sentence. Get back to me when Ahmed can launch underwear bombs over the north pole.


That wouldn't really be all that hard to do.

Hobbyists have flown autonomous model airplanes across the Atlantic Ocean, a distance of almost 1,900 miles. That was almost 10 years ago now.

Building a large scale model airplane with some kind of token warhead and enough range to make it to the east coast of the US from north-western Africa certainly seems possible. Because it would have a small radar signature, and fly at relatively low altitudes and speeds, it would almost certainly be considered to be a large sea bird if caught on radar. They'd be quiet enough and high enough that spotting them from the ground would be problematic.

You could standardize a design and probably get the per-unit cost down below $1,500 a unit, which is cheap. You can buy an "Almost Ready to Fly" model airplane with a 12 foot wingspan and flying weight of 31 lbs for $1100 from Hobby Lobby. As an example, you could use a big, efficient cruise prop spun by the minimum sized motor and a large gas tank, you'd likely have a very long range airplane with some cargo capacity, especially if you left off the landing gear and faired over the "hood/windshield" transition to be more aerodynamic.

Even if you couldn't get the range much over 1,000 miles, that still opens up a lot of possibilities: You can launch them from fishing vessels in the mid-Atlantic or islands in the Caribbean, or even from within US territory and "dogleg" them to conceal where they originated from. 

You would almost certainly lose some of them due to stuff like weather, engine failure, etc., but the ability to put some sort of panic-inducing payload into a populated area without it being able to be stopped by conventional means that even if you lose half, or even most, you'd still be causing a problem.
 
2012-09-18 01:40:28 PM
They are just out there stealing our grouper, tuna and yellow tail snapper.
 
2012-09-18 01:40:52 PM

KyngNothing: So unnamed Navy sources tell some random blogger that we just detected a Russian sub that we didn't detect, combined with a plug to not take away the Navy anti-submarine money, which this concerned blogger manages to spin into an attack on Obama?


Hey, this is coming from the Washington Free Bacon.

Sounds legit.
 
2012-09-18 01:43:34 PM

dittybopper: US SIGINT SOSUS knew exactly where all of the single pings came from


That's the ticket, thanks! The early earthquake/tsunami/enemy sub warning systems, forgot about those! God I love science.
 
2012-09-18 01:49:59 PM

KyngNothing: So unnamed Navy sources tell some random blogger that we just detected a Russian sub that we didn't detect, combined with a plug to not take away the Navy anti-submarine money, which this concerned blogger manages to spin into an attack on Obama?

What was the point again?


I think the point was that if we didn't have a blah President this kind of non-event wouldn't happen.
 
2012-09-18 01:50:51 PM

dittybopper: bubo_sibiricus: "Sophisticated" and "underwear bomb" don't even belong in the same farking sentence. Get back to me when Ahmed can launch underwear bombs over the north pole.

That wouldn't really be all that hard to do.

Hobbyists have flown autonomous model airplanes across the Atlantic Ocean, a distance of almost 1,900 miles. That was almost 10 years ago now.

Building a large scale model airplane with some kind of token warhead and enough range to make it to the east coast of the US from north-western Africa certainly seems possible. Because it would have a small radar signature, and fly at relatively low altitudes and speeds, it would almost certainly be considered to be a large sea bird if caught on radar. They'd be quiet enough and high enough that spotting them from the ground would be problematic.

You could standardize a design and probably get the per-unit cost down below $1,500 a unit, which is cheap. You can buy an "Almost Ready to Fly" model airplane with a 12 foot wingspan and flying weight of 31 lbs for $1100 from Hobby Lobby. As an example, you could use a big, efficient cruise prop spun by the minimum sized motor and a large gas tank, you'd likely have a very long range airplane with some cargo capacity, especially if you left off the landing gear and faired over the "hood/windshield" transition to be more aerodynamic.

Even if you couldn't get the range much over 1,000 miles, that still opens up a lot of possibilities: You can launch them from fishing vessels in the mid-Atlantic or islands in the Caribbean, or even from within US territory and "dogleg" them to conceal where they originated from. 

You would almost certainly lose some of them due to stuff like weather, engine failure, etc., but the ability to put some sort of panic-inducing payload into a populated area without it being able to be stopped by conventional means that even if you lose half, or even most, you'd still be causing a problem.


And suddenly dittybopper hears a knocking on the door...
 
2012-09-18 01:52:57 PM
As a child of the 80's who had a REAL fear of nuclear holocaust, as well as sub fan, I find this stuff endlessly facinating. I imagine with the changes in world politics/economies, the chances of the Russians glass parking lot-ing us is a lot less, but these missles are still out there and aimed at us...
 
2012-09-18 01:53:30 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: Russian sub spotted in gulf. Of Mexico.


OMG THEY'RE GONNA INVADE GEORGIA AGAIN!!


They better make sure they have their papers in order. Link
 
2012-09-18 01:56:54 PM

Uisce Beatha: Too tired to post intelligently, so I'll let another submariner do it for me:

"Obviously, it's possible that a Russian SSN could travel to the Gulf of Mexico and cruise around for a month in international waters during peacetime, even though that has no real military value, as we have no real naval bases with things like major combatants in the Gulf, and what do you expect the U.S. to do to stop them from transiting international waters, fire at them and start a war? "


The Gulf does indeed have real military value.

Tell me, what happens to petroleum prices in the US when wells and refineries in the Gulf have to shut down due to hurricanes? What would happen if they were shut down due to attacks by anti-shipping missiles instead, with the resulting damage taking months to fix (if you could convince people to work on the isolated oil platforms)?

But yeah, they're in international waters. We can follow them, though.
 
2012-09-18 01:58:35 PM

KyngNothing: And suddenly dittybopper hears a knocking on the door...


Meh. All hypothetical, and I'm not the first person to come up with the idea.
 
2012-09-18 01:59:53 PM

dittybopper: yesanded: These same sources have reported troop movements of Redcoats in the vicinity of Lexington and Concord.

This is what happens when OBAMA refuses to fund the Continental Army.

Well, they're only obligated to follow 60% of his orders anyway.


I'm disappointed that no one caught that.
 
2012-09-18 02:01:55 PM

amd1433: Well, well! Looks like Romney was right! Russia IS the biggest threat facing the US, and 0bama just let them piss in our faces! Checkmate, libtards!


Lemme guess... you read it on the Internet so it must be true.

You should be careful throwing around the tard suffix.
 
2012-09-18 02:10:35 PM

GranoblasticMan: fappomatic: Jesus Christ. Even the Russkies know about Panama City.

So wait, it was here to do us a favor?


Well Katrina let us down. Desperate times & measures and all.
 
2012-09-18 02:13:33 PM

angry_scientist: dittybopper: US SIGINT SOSUS knew exactly where all of the single pings came from

That's the ticket, thanks! The early earthquake/tsunami/enemy sub warning systems, forgot about those! God I love science.


Tom Clancy novels
ftfy
 
2012-09-18 02:14:52 PM

dittybopper


dittybopper: yesanded: These same sources have reported troop movements of Redcoats in the vicinity of Lexington and Concord.

This is what happens when OBAMA refuses to fund the Continental Army.

Well, they're only obligated to follow 60% of his orders anyway.

I'm disappointed that no one caught that.


Caught it, but your math is wrong which took away from the joke.


Hint: Mr. Obama is 50% white.
 
2012-09-18 02:24:12 PM
The only reason this atrocity was able to happen is because of the defense cuts that haven't taken effect yet that are the direct result of congress's inability to come up with a budget after agreeing to make these cuts if they couldn't come up with a budget. Damn you, Fartbama!!!!!
 
2012-09-18 02:24:40 PM
The real question is:

Do we stop them if they try to invade Florida?

/this sub was probably sold off as surplus and is now running drugs from Columbia to Florida.
 
2012-09-18 02:24:44 PM
We could have lost track of a sub since I'm betting we're not watching the new ice-free areas as closely as we were watching the GIUK gap...
 
2012-09-18 02:42:25 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: dittybopper

dittybopper: yesanded: These same sources have reported troop movements of Redcoats in the vicinity of Lexington and Concord.

This is what happens when OBAMA refuses to fund the Continental Army.

Well, they're only obligated to follow 60% of his orders anyway.

I'm disappointed that no one caught that.


Caught it, but your math is wrong which took away from the joke.


Hint: Mr. Obama is 50% white.


It was a joke about the 3/5ths rule, and the fact that he is half-Caucasian wouldn't have mattered: Many a half-white slave existed back then, largely born to black mothers raped by white men.
 
2012-09-18 03:02:38 PM

Onkel Buck: Obama will have to remind Putin he is going to more flexible AFTER the election, not BEFORE.


cdn3.hark.com

'You arrogant ass, you've killed Us!'
 
2012-09-18 03:22:05 PM
The CIA uses them to smuggle cocaine. That's why it "disappeared." Few, if any Russians were involved in this article.
 
2012-09-18 03:43:22 PM

dittybopper


It was a joke about the 3/5ths rule


*sigh* I know that; it was very obvious.

My somewhat facetious point was that the 60% figure would be inaccurate under the rule because of Mr. Obama's lineage. Yes, I saw the other stuff you wrote.
 
2012-09-18 03:55:11 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: dittybopper

It was a joke about the 3/5ths rule


*sigh* I know that; it was very obvious.

My somewhat facetious point was that the 60% figure would be inaccurate under the rule because of Mr. Obama's lineage. Yes, I saw the other stuff you wrote.


Yeah, but it wouldn't be inaccurate, because a half-black person back then was, for all legal purposes, just black, especially in the South. A half-black slave only counted as 3/5ths of a person for apportionment reasons, same as a every other slave.
 
2012-09-18 04:39:30 PM
Don't you people have like a ka-jillion dollars worth of surveillance technology?

Worlds most technologically advanced army, why you no detect sub in your territorial waters?
 
2012-09-18 04:47:10 PM

Franko: Don't you people have like a ka-jillion dollars worth of surveillance technology?

Worlds most technologically advanced army, why you no detect sub in your territorial waters?


As it turns out, the army's not very good at detecting submarines underwater. The tanks keep getting full of water and sinking.
 
2012-09-18 04:54:50 PM

gopher321: I ain't never seen no phantom Russian submarine


Ah shiat! Russkies have reverse engineered our silent velcro!
 
2012-09-18 04:55:33 PM

snocone: wmoonfox: TFA: especially troubling given the drastic defense cuts sought by President Obama

Republicans are so fscking stupid.

The Russians are effectively a non-threat. Everybody other than you knows this -- including the Russians. Their ability to project any meaningful display of military prowess is severely geographically limited, and any resulting war with the US would be very short, regardless of any reasonable cuts in spending on homeland defense.

What they can do is to keep faking us out the way they did pretty much throughout the Cold War, causing us to steadily increase military spending as we spread our forces thinner and thinner, until a complete economic collapse is inevitable. They know how to do this, because that's what happened to them. We're heading down the same fscking path, and it's all thanks to you.

Which is why we are in an economic war, not a shooting war.


If you read between the lines way back when, Russia's (and France's) violation of the Oil for Food treaty with Iraq was a big reason we were in that shooting war. Can't have economic imbalance, you know.
 
2012-09-18 05:23:50 PM

BunkyBrewman: I was waiting for it after reading nearly through the entire article.

Yes. Left satisfied that the author ultimately blamed it on Obama.


Blamed on Obama and of course it would be Russia because Willard thinks they are our biggest foes.
 
2012-09-18 05:58:03 PM

Smeggy Smurf: Was it playing Pavarotti?


"Paganini. It was Paganini."
"Look, this is my story, okay--"
"Then tell it right, COB. Pavarotti is a tenor, Paganini was a composer."
 
2012-09-18 07:04:18 PM

cedarpark: The real question is: Do we stop them if they try to invade Florida?


Alas, Babylon?!

/Weird that I took a break to read a bit of that book, then come online to find this story
//As long as Russia hasn't sent up any new Sputniks any time in the recent past, I think we're safe
 
2012-09-18 07:04:39 PM
Are you sure it isn't a Democrat fund raising photo op?
 
2012-09-18 09:41:49 PM
Perhaps they were clearing their baffles while performing a Crazy Ivan and inadvertently executed an emergency blow?
 
2012-09-18 10:49:31 PM
Russians don't take a dump, son, without a plan. And senior captains don't do something this dangerous without thinking it through.

...the only sound they will hear is our laughter, while we sail to Havana, where the sun is warm, and so is the...comradeship.
 
2012-09-18 11:54:19 PM

Rangeley Tourist Hunter: Russians don't take a dump, son, without a plan. And senior captains don't do something this dangerous without thinking it through.

...the only sound they will hear is our laughter, while we sail to Havana, where the sun is warm, and so is the...comradeship.


I read the article a couple of times before cluing in this was the Gulf of Mexico and not the Gulf of California, which had me thinking, wow, that's really ballsy.

But I dunno, would a Soviet Submarine ever have traveled into the Gulf of California? I wouldn't think so, why waste nukes on farking Arizona. When you get California and the Gulf States from the Pacific Ocean and the Gulf of Mexico.
 
2012-09-19 02:01:29 AM
Whoop-de-farking-do.
 
2012-09-19 09:29:07 AM

RadicalArcher: cedarpark: The real question is: Do we stop them if they try to invade Florida?

Alas, Babylon?!

/Weird that I took a break to read a bit of that book, then come online to find this story
//As long as Russia hasn't sent up any new Sputniks any time in the recent past, I think we're safe


The one lesson I remember from that book, which I read back in the late 1970's, is: Don't store radioactive jewelry under your bed.
 
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