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(610 WIOD)   Oliver North says he gives three presents to his grandchildren when they turn 12; "a shotgun, a bible, and a compass". Paper shredder surprisingly absent   (610wiod.com) divider line 227
    More: Dumbass, paper shredder  
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4483 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Sep 2012 at 2:30 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-17 03:28:41 PM  
i.imgur.com 

/or not?
 
2012-09-17 03:29:32 PM  

ttc2301: mark12A: Dawww, you're all still butthurt that the Reagan admin stopped the commies from turning central America into a socialist paradise?

THIS.

/even tho the whole 'butthurt' meme annoys me


Ethics, motherfarkers. Do you speak it?
 
2012-09-17 03:29:49 PM  

Maktaka: A compass, because modern ideas like GPS or evolution scare you.


Meh.

They don't scare me. But I do understand their limitations. Ever had a battery die on a compass or a paper map?

Me neither.
 
2012-09-17 03:34:37 PM  
deodorant, a gross of no. 2 pencils, and a pack of cigarettes.
 
2012-09-17 03:36:00 PM  

JWideman: How irresponsible, giving a 12 year old a bible.


Meh. I got Bibles (not actually, but I was in religious schools surrounded by free ones) from 0-17, and all I got was a working knowledge of all the ways people had perverted what was a fairly straightforward message. Once I realized the basic message was pretty farking clear outside the pages, the Bible became largely irrelevant. (But that's sort of why the Talmud's there.)

TL;DR - you(they)'ll live.
 
2012-09-17 03:36:59 PM  

Jekylman: compasses that only point east.


You can build one easy enough. Make a card compass, and just put the pointer 90 degrees to the right of North.
 
2012-09-17 03:38:46 PM  

dittybopper: He must be whipped. The littlebopper got his first gun at 8:


Yes, clearly his daughter has him pussywhipped.
 
2012-09-17 03:39:15 PM  
Oliver North stood behind me in a car rental place at LAX several years ago. That mere proximity was enough to disgust me.
 
2012-09-17 03:40:34 PM  

kid_icarus: tallguywithglasseson: kid_icarus: What does he give his grand daughters?

Syphilis.

//too far?

Not far enough, d00d.

But nah, this is typical southern macho bullshiat that assumes all of your grandsons will be redneck meatheads that want to blow holes in forest animals and pray to Jeebus. What's Ollie going to do when one of the grandsons is of a, er...sensitive nature...or when one of the granddaughters wants a gun of her own?


THIS.

/My grandfather would have a field day with this guy.
 
2012-09-17 03:43:29 PM  

Gleeman: [i.imgur.com image 300x240] 

/or not?


Who drew that? The art style feels familiar...
 
2012-09-17 03:50:28 PM  

raerae1980: Well, those are crappy gifts. I'd be a very disappointed 12 year old.


Those are great gifts. But then again it depends where you live. When I was 12 I lived in a small town in the cascade valley in northern washington. Hunting / Fishing and just shooting at random stuff was normal.
 
2012-09-17 03:50:48 PM  

MoronLessOff: Crotchrocket Slim: basemetal: If I was a 12 year old, I wouldn't mind that present.

Shotty and a compass are pretty awesome gifts. I'm surprised he doesn't complete the set with an awesome Swiss army knife or something.

I guess if he wanted to do the moral guidance thing someone's suggestion of a copy of the US Constitution wouldn't hurt.

Still Ollie's a dirt bag even if he's a decent grandfather.

Fixed blade full tang seems to be more fitting.


That's more of a 16th birthday gift, along with maybe hiring the kid a hooker and buying him a liftetime supply of Tang the drink. You know a themed gift.
 
2012-09-17 03:52:00 PM  

tallguywithglasseson: Now that's how you make those boys into a MAN! And he's only waiting until they're 12 because MOM insisted! Women!
Pining for the old days and when I was a kid and dad and cats in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man on the moon

[i46.tinypic.com image 537x357]

//so vote Republican


Wuss. Was operating the larger and more powerful McCulloch 710 during occasional forays into the woods with Dear Old Dad, when I was 10.

/Dating myself. When I was 10, McCulloch was still in business, and still made professional-quality chainsaws.
 
2012-09-17 03:54:49 PM  

forgotmydamnusername: Wuss. Was operating the larger and more powerful McCulloch 710 during occasional forays into the woods with Dear Old Dad, when I was 10.


And Reagan was probably 80+. That photo was basically, "Too old to be president? Nonsense! Look how virile he is! He's out manlying it up with a chainsaw! There's no way he's going senile!"
 
2012-09-17 03:56:15 PM  

ttc2301: mark12A: Dawww, you're all still butthurt that the Reagan admin stopped the commies from turning central America into a socialist paradise?

THIS.

/even tho the whole 'butthurt' meme annoys me


Yes, we were on the side of the "good guys".

Jean Donovan (April 10, 1953 - December 2, 1980) was an American lay missionary who was raped and murdered with three nuns in El Salvador by a military death squad while volunteering to do charity work during the civil war there.

....In the afternoon of December 2, Donovan and Dorothy Kazel picked up two Maryknoll missionary sisters, Maura Clarke and Ita Ford, from the airport after the pair arrived from attending a Maryknoll conference in Managua, Nicaragua. They were under surveillance by a National Guardsman at the time, who phoned his commander for orders. Acting on orders from their commander, five National Guard members changed into plainclothes and continued to stake out the airport.

The five members of the National Guard of El Salvador, out of uniform, stopped the vehicle they were driving after they left the airport in San Salvador. Donovan and the three sisters were taken to a relatively isolated spot where they were beaten, raped, and murdered by the soldiers.[4]

At about 10:00 the night of Tuesday, December 2, three hours after Donovan and Kazel picked up Clarke and Ford, local peasants had seen the sisters' white van drive to an isolated spot and then heard machine-gun fire followed by single shots. They saw five men flee the scene in the white van, with the lights on and the radio blaring. The van would be found later that night, on fire at the side of the airport road.[4]

Early the next morning, Wednesday, December 3, they found the bodies of the four women, and were told by local authorities-a judge, three members of the civil guard, and two commanders-to bury the women in a common grave in a nearby field. Four of the local men did so, but informed their parish priest, and the news reached the local bishop and the U.S. Ambassador to El Salvador, Robert White, the same day.[4]

Jean Donovan 

Mark12A rides his bicycle on the sidewalk like he's seven years old. Can't expect much from him.
 
2012-09-17 03:56:45 PM  
Rita: You're missin' all the fun! These peopleNorths are great! Some of them have been partyin'hunting all night long! They sing songsquote the Bible 'till they get too cold and then they go sit by the fire and they get warm, and then they come back and singquote some more!
Phil: Yeah, they're hicks, Rita!
 
2012-09-17 03:57:17 PM  

tallguywithglasseson: dittybopper: He must be whipped. The littlebopper got his first gun at 8:

Yes, clearly his daughter has him pussywhipped.


affordablehousinginstitute.org

Hey, it could happen.
 
2012-09-17 03:57:30 PM  
Does he also teach them the "secret handshake" wink-wink
 
2012-09-17 03:58:40 PM  
Tactical Facepalm!

Seniautomatc DS Arms SA-58 Rifle (licensed copy of the FAL), full LBE kit with four fully loaded magazines (Compass comes with the kit), Hardcover copy of Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand.

What are your questions on this block of instruction?
 
2012-09-17 04:01:27 PM  
It is funny how many libtarded people around here do not understand that their freaking iPhone is not going to work after Obama sends us into WWIII through his limp wristed foreign policy blunders that are meant to hide the fact that he is about to bend over to the Zionist and bomb bomb bomb Iran.
 
2012-09-17 04:02:55 PM  

DaSwankOne: It is funny how many libtarded people around here do not understand that their freaking iPhone is not going to work after Obama sends us into WWIII through his limp wristed foreign policy blunders that are meant to hide the fact that he is about to bend over to the Zionist and bomb bomb bomb Iran.


You said bomb three times
 
2012-09-17 04:05:01 PM  
If he were a liberal, he would, on their 12th birthday, give em a welfare check, a fake voter registration form, and a fertility treatment.
 
2012-09-17 04:06:59 PM  

WorldCitizen: Hey, Ollie, there are apps for two of those things. Ask your grandchildren about them.


Yeah, those apps are great especially if you are hiking overnight or for a couple days. All you have to do is plug your charger into a pine tree since they are all running on household current.

Farking batteries, how do they work?
 
2012-09-17 04:07:30 PM  

Repo Man: Mark12A rides his bicycle on the sidewalk like he's seven years old. Can't expect much from him.


This is the first time I have heard of Mark12A but he sounds a bit more intelligent then the 8 year olds who ride their bikes on a 50mph road.
 
2012-09-17 04:08:07 PM  

probesport: Repo Man: Mark12A rides his bicycle on the sidewalk like he's seven years old. Can't expect much from him.

This is the first time I have heard of Mark12A but he sounds a bit more intelligent than the 8 year olds who ride their bikes on a 50mph road.


FTFM. Grammar Nazi's please see previous post.
 
2012-09-17 04:08:29 PM  
So, if you're 11, you don't exist for uncle Ollie.
 
2012-09-17 04:09:03 PM  
Is this his granddaughter?

i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-09-17 04:11:34 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i47.tinypic.com image 800x664]

I'm sure the kids will be fine.


A double barrel pump? I know of only two men who use such a weapon. One is Moe Sizlack.
 
2012-09-17 04:12:24 PM  

Elvis_Pelt: So, if you're 11, you don't exist for uncle Ollie.


No, you're just a victim.
 
2012-09-17 04:19:48 PM  

probesport: You said bomb three times


That is because you idiots thought it was something to joke about when McCain said it while you were two dumb to see that Obama is actually going to do it so he can stay elected.
 
2012-09-17 04:22:40 PM  

probesport: Repo Man: Mark12A rides his bicycle on the sidewalk like he's seven years old. Can't expect much from him.

This is the first time I have heard of Mark12A but he sounds a bit more intelligent then the 8 year olds who ride their bikes on a 50mph road.


Good to know that you don't mind having to dodge high speed cyclists when walking down the sidewalk. Save it for trolling the next cycling thread.
 
2012-09-17 04:25:28 PM  
And for your sixteenth birthday, buggy whips!.
 
2012-09-17 04:29:46 PM  

JesseL: A double barrel pump? I know of only two men who use such a weapon. One is Moe Sizlack.


Heck, there's actually a double-barrel bolt-action rifle out there! :D Why not?
 
2012-09-17 04:33:44 PM  

stevarooni: JesseL: A double barrel pump? I know of only two men who use such a weapon. One is Moe Sizlack.

Heck, there's actually a double-barrel bolt-action rifle out there! :D Why not?


A friend of mine did build one from a pair of Remington 870s, one left-handed and one right.

Link
 
2012-09-17 04:36:50 PM  

ToxicMunkee: He's not a very good Christian if he waits until his grandkids are twelve before giving them a Bible.


He wants them to associate god with guns. Because only godless people have no guns.
 
2012-09-17 04:39:18 PM  
How Ollie and his kind think:

Link
 
2012-09-17 04:45:02 PM  
MoronLessOff

I acknowledge that people read the bible, but I refuse to believe that anyone actually likes to read it.


Personally I think in today's age of carrying a few extra batteries for the phone, and the existence of little solar chargers that do a good job of charging said phone, straight from the sun.

Carrying a crap ton of e-books is the way to keep yourself occupied when needing to rest.
 
2012-09-17 04:47:22 PM  

Mugato: Could you get any more stereotypical?

Who did he get to buy the shotgun, his being a convicted felon and all?


And if he exchanged money for the shotguns, who gets thrown in jail for illegal sale of a firearm to a convicted felon?

/Yeah. Sure is real important we don't ever help our mortal enemy, Iran, you farking republicocks. Unless, of course...
 
2012-09-17 04:50:24 PM  
DaSwankOne

probesport: You said bomb three times



Well, yes he did. And I remember a parody song in the early 90s that included the words "Bomb bomb bomb, bomb, bomb Iran. Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran. Bomb Iran, just because Weeee Cannnn. Bomb Iran." Can't remember the rest. But it was popular to some people in high school during Desert Storm for no reason
 
2012-09-17 04:52:49 PM  
oddculture.com
 
2012-09-17 04:56:34 PM  

Repo Man: probesport: Repo Man: Mark12A rides his bicycle on the sidewalk like he's seven years old. Can't expect much from him.

This is the first time I have heard of Mark12A but he sounds a bit more intelligent then the 8 year olds who ride their bikes on a 50mph road.

Good to know that you don't mind having to dodge high speed cyclists when walking down the sidewalk. Save it for trolling the next cycling thread.


High Speed Cyclist, lulz.

/jumbo shrimp.
 
2012-09-17 04:56:35 PM  
I remember being a teenager in the late 80's and living in Derpistan, USA, also called the Florida Panhandle. The public relations campaign at the time which North used to craft his image was pure genius. The whole schtick he presented then, and still does with surprising success, was that Oliver North is an American hero being railroaded by the damn liberal media. My hometown, Pensacola, one of America's biggest military-fellating cities, always welcomes him with money and open arms.

When the whole scandal broke I remember there being a very specific type of military guy who worshiped North. It was almost always a retired enlisted guy who retired Petty Officer, maybe gallantly served during the brutal and bloody Grenada War, and wore daily a hat advertising some ship they served on for six months back in '58. 

It still blows me away that 25 years later North can still make big money from this canard.
 
2012-09-17 04:56:59 PM  

Mugato: Could you get any more stereotypical?

Who did he get to buy the shotgun, his being a convicted felon and all?


This. Way to commit another Federal felony.
 
2012-09-17 04:58:02 PM  
It's also good to have 2 drops of kerosene, cornstartch, and warm cow dung on hand to treat snake bites.
 
2012-09-17 05:33:58 PM  
As someone which DID get these as gifts in my early teenage years, I would like to point out my dad & uncles still swear when they hear this mans name.
/military family
 
2012-09-17 05:37:48 PM  
i've never needed a firearm. i live in civilization where there are supermarkets.
 
2012-09-17 05:38:38 PM  

Marine1: raerae1980: Well, those are crappy gifts. I'd be a very disappointed 12 year old.

Pssh. Says you. Sounds like a freakin' awesome birthday to me.


No kidding. Hell, the shotgun and compass (I'm guessing that they are both decent pieces of equipment, he doesn't strike me as the kind of guy to give his grandkids junk) I'd love to have today. Perhaps not so much the bible, I already have a couple and I'm not really into them, but at 12 I would have loved to get one as a gift.
 
2012-09-17 05:40:30 PM  

KrispyKritter: i've never needed a firearm. i live in civilization where there are supermarkets.


1) Good for you, but you aren't everyone. I'm good friends with several families who get most of their meat from hunting, and wouldn't have it any other way.

2) What does need have to do with anything?
 
2012-09-17 05:50:42 PM  

what_now: "Grandpa, why aren't you in federal prison?"


Because he was just following orders and happened to get caught?

TV's Vinnie: [oddculture.com image 550x400]


I have an Iver Johnson 1911A1-ish 45
 
2012-09-17 05:54:41 PM  

KrispyKritter: i've never needed a firearm. i live in civilization where there are supermarkets.


Might be one of the dumbest things I have ever read of Fark. Line up and get fat on that factory farm meat you lemming.
 
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