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(610 WIOD)   Oliver North says he gives three presents to his grandchildren when they turn 12; "a shotgun, a bible, and a compass". Paper shredder surprisingly absent   (610wiod.com) divider line 227
    More: Dumbass, paper shredder  
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4470 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Sep 2012 at 2:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-17 02:58:36 PM
Shouldn't the compass already be in the stock? 

(Obscure? Nah.)
 
2012-09-17 02:58:39 PM
The book "How To Beat Those Silly Treason Charges" surprisingly absent.
 
2012-09-17 02:58:44 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i47.tinypic.com image 800x664]

I'm sure the kids will be fine.


damn, that reminded a friend from high school committed suicide with the shotgun his dad gave him for Christmas.

sad sh*t.
 
2012-09-17 02:58:54 PM

ampoliros: NuttierThanEver: Wish I could find the text but I like to post Senator and War hero Daniel Inouye's lecture to Oliver North on the duties of an Officer of the US military in every Ollie North thread. It is the best OH SNAP response to anything that comes out of that assholes mouth.

http://www.brown.edu/Research/Understanding_the_Iran_Contra_Affair/v- o n22.php


Inouye stated, "The uniform code makes it abundantly clear that it must be the Lawful orders of a superior officer.

In fact it says, 'Members of the military have an obligation to disobey unlawful orders.' This principle was considered so
important that we--we, the government of the United States--proposed that it be internationally applied in the Nuremberg trials."
 
2012-09-17 02:58:56 PM

mcreadyblue: [www.foreignpolicy.com image 300x192]


My first thought with that image? "A redacted Bible? Uh...thanks, Grandpa."
 
2012-09-17 02:59:09 PM

cwolf20: If you're lost and need to eat, and have horrible aim.

Shotgun.

Need a direction while lost and eating game.

compass.

Need toilet paper when lost.

The bible contains a lot of it.


added bonus if you're a christian and like to read it.


FIFY
 
2012-09-17 02:59:16 PM
Certainly won't be your copy of the constitution because you already wiped your ass with that, right Ollie?

/Scumbag should be currently picking corn chunks out of his own feces in Guantanamo.
 
2012-09-17 02:59:17 PM
Dumbass must be for subby. Subby must not realise the attrocities commited by the Sandinistas
maybe just went to Chicago Public Schools
 
2012-09-17 02:59:29 PM

probesport: My very Boobiesol was a cap & ball Colt, shoots as fast as lightning but it loads a might slow.


What the shiat? Boobiesol, Pistol....
 
2012-09-17 03:01:04 PM
"Dad, we live in the Chicago suburbs. Jayson is going to be attending Interlochen next year for his cello. They don't want this stuff."
"GODLESS LIBERAL COMMIE BASTARDS WARGBLEBARGLE!"
"Look, I didn't want to bring this up now....but we're going to Hawaii for Christmas this year."
 
2012-09-17 03:01:23 PM
When I turned 16 I got two things:

My drivers license
A shotgun

/yes, I grew up on a farm
//bought my own vehicle with my savings, paid cash
 
2012-09-17 03:02:52 PM

s1ugg0: But I thought saying that Republicans clung to their bibles and guns was inaccurate?


Duh! He didn't even say shiat about the compass. It was a factually inaccurate comment and Obama should be ashamed.
 
2012-09-17 03:03:16 PM
What? No TOW missiles? The Iranian's got those from Ollie and they don't even celebrate Christmas!
 
2012-09-17 03:03:46 PM

basemetal: If I was a 12 year old, I wouldn't mind that present.


Shotty and a compass are pretty awesome gifts. I'm surprised he doesn't complete the set with an awesome Swiss army knife or something.

I guess if he wanted to do the moral guidance thing someone's suggestion of a copy of the US Constitution wouldn't hurt.

Still Ollie's a dirt bag even if he's a decent grandfather.
 
2012-09-17 03:04:35 PM

Diogenes: What? What about the legacy of a name that will forever be associated with treason, failure, and dishonesty? That's a kind of present. One you wouldn't give to your worst enemy, but still.


Whats funny about the Iran Contra affair is that if it happened today 1) we wouldn't know about it officially as it would be deemed to secret to discuss and a matter of national Security and 2) no one would give a shiat.

Between Bush and Obama basically doing whatever the hell they want regardless of laws the Iran contra affair wouldn't even register.

Selling arms to Iran to fund Contras.
Killing US citizens with a secret kill list
Spying on all Americans every phone call, email, text
Torturing innocent people.
Keeping people in cages w/o charges for over a decade

Ya I don't think the dishonesty, treason etc should fall only at old Ollies feet.
 
2012-09-17 03:04:44 PM
They like to hunt in Alberta once in awhile

farm4.staticflickr.com 

The people who owned the lodge they stayed at gave my dad some pics of them

They said he was nice, but kind of a twit.
 
2012-09-17 03:04:59 PM

Sgt Otter: "The shotgun symbolizes the weapons I sold to Iran, the Bible symbolizes the one I swore an oath on and then lied to Congress, and the last one is to remind you that grandpa has no moral compass."


This.
 
2012-09-17 03:05:38 PM

Crotchrocket Slim: basemetal: If I was a 12 year old, I wouldn't mind that present.

Shotty and a compass are pretty awesome gifts. I'm surprised he doesn't complete the set with an awesome Swiss army knife or something.

I guess if he wanted to do the moral guidance thing someone's suggestion of a copy of the US Constitution wouldn't hurt.

Still Ollie's a dirt bag even if he's a decent grandfather.


Fixed blade full tang seems to be more fitting.
 
2012-09-17 03:05:56 PM
He should get them air rifles like Atticus got Jem and Scout.
 
2012-09-17 03:06:10 PM
Guns, God, and... Cartography???
 
2012-09-17 03:06:33 PM
Farking rightwing loon. He's like a professional wrestler who forgets it's kayfabe.
 
2012-09-17 03:06:44 PM

OldManDownDRoad: The Bible had those old rice-paper pages, they got used up over time to roll joints.


i.imgur.com

Thanks, Uncle Ollie!
 
2012-09-17 03:08:41 PM

Hermione_Granger: He should get them air rifles like Atticus got Jem and Scout.


Atticus killed neighborghood dogs. He was sick and so are you.
 
2012-09-17 03:09:29 PM

boozehat: I plan on giving my daughter my first rifle (ruger 10/22) when she turns 10 or 11.


Nice. I started my kid out with a Chipmunk. Not that I turned him loose in the neighborhood with a brick of CCI Stingers or anything.
 
2012-09-17 03:09:33 PM
In related news: Oliver North is a grandpa from a 1950s sitcom.

Warnings against "that durn rock n' roll devil music" soon to follow.
 
2012-09-17 03:10:07 PM
static.tvfanatic.com
Is impressed.
 
2012-09-17 03:11:03 PM
funny story - at least to me.

During the Ollie North hearings, I had to attend a meeting at the Pentagon. When I returned from the meeting, I told a woman in the office that the Pentagon leaders were so much in support of Ollie that they had named one of the parking lots for him. Our offices being about 500 miles from DC and the fact that she had never been to the Pentagon made her accept my statement as true, once I showed her the map of the Pentagon.

Maybe it isn't that funny.
 
2012-09-17 03:11:12 PM
No he doesn't. He just says that because it's what his audience want to hear. He probably gives them a bag of Wuerther's candy.
 
2012-09-17 03:11:25 PM

ToxicMunkee: He's not a very good Christian if he waits until his grandkids are twelve before giving them a Bible.


Hey, they're home schooled, ya know. May as well wait until they can read.

/yeah, I went there
 
2012-09-17 03:12:19 PM

machodonkeywrestler: So they can find his gold?

[encrypted-tbn2.google.com image 259x194]


Thanks macho, came to see my favorite episode referenced.

/If I eat all the dirt, then only the gold will be left!
 
2012-09-17 03:13:27 PM

tallguywithglasseson: kid_icarus: What does he give his grand daughters?

Syphilis.

//too far?


Just right.
 
2012-09-17 03:14:46 PM
People rarely, if ever, change.
 
2012-09-17 03:15:33 PM
Funny.

I would have thought, drawing on his own life experiences, he would have given them:

1. a lawyer
2. a doddering, mentally ill employer
3. drugs to sell
 
2012-09-17 03:17:44 PM
Guy could have a good time in Vegas with all that stuff.
 
2012-09-17 03:18:10 PM
If he hadn't buried all his gold, he could afford better presents
 
2012-09-17 03:18:13 PM
A bible, so you feel good about wanting to kill other people.
A shotgun, with which to kill other people.
A compass, because modern ideas like GPS or evolution scare you.

No wonder FOX snapped this guy up as a news commentator, he's the archetypical modern GOP activist.
 
2012-09-17 03:18:49 PM
"...you will never be lost, you will never be hungry and you need fear nothing,"

- You will never be lost: no matter which way the compass points, that's where you are
- You will never be hungry: you can always use the shotgun to hold up a McDonalds
- You need fear nothing: except an IRS audit of your sham 501(c)(3)
 
2012-09-17 03:19:52 PM

WorldCitizen: Hey, Ollie, there are apps for two of those things. Ask your grandchildren about them.


How many days does an iPhone battery last on a camping trip?
 
2012-09-17 03:20:01 PM
Dohohoho.

The fact that Ollie is walking around and not in a jail serves to show that realpolitik is best politik, and that morals and ideology are just rationalizations applied selectively and conveniently.
 
2012-09-17 03:20:01 PM
Great! All three can get you in trouble.
 
2012-09-17 03:20:17 PM
Shoot.. a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.
 
2012-09-17 03:20:29 PM

Lumpmoose: "I say that if you learn to use all three - the shotgun, the bible and the compass - you will never be lost, you will never be hungry and you need fear nothing, but you must learn to use all three."

Says the member of the political party that can cultivate fear like nobody else. They've got plenty of shotguns and bibles but it doesn't seem to help.


And compasses that only point east.
 
2012-09-17 03:21:08 PM

enry: Guy could have a good time in Vegas with all that stuff.


...and that's what I get for not refreshing fast enough.

*Shakes tiny fist*
 
2012-09-17 03:22:01 PM
"And the best part? Your Uncle Dick Cheney is going to take you out to teach you how to shoot!"

www.betterparentinginstitute.com
 
2012-09-17 03:22:39 PM

Coolfusis: If I got my own shotgun at age 12, I'd be pretty happy. All I got was my .22 plinking rifle.


I got my shotgun at 12 and a .22, got my daughter her first rifle and shotgun when she turned 8. Wife used to be anti-gun until she went to the range and had a BLAST!!!
 
2012-09-17 03:23:11 PM

nytmare: WorldCitizen: Hey, Ollie, there are apps for two of those things. Ask your grandchildren about them.

How many days does an iPhone battery last on a camping trip?


This! That phone will be dead long before they get to the end and then they'll wish they had that paper copy of the Bible to learn what happens to Jesus at the end of the book.
 
2012-09-17 03:23:47 PM

grokca: cwolf20: If you're lost and need to eat, and have horrible aim.

Shotgun.

Need a direction while lost and eating game.

compass.

Need toilet paper when lost.

The bible contains a lot of it.


added bonus if you're a christian and like to read it.

FIFY


Actually the bible's a test: once he abandons them in the wilderness he knows the weak ones will read the bible and pray for deliverance. The spoiled ones will waste it as toilet paper, the too-clever ones will use it as kindling and freeze when the paper runs out. The truly resourceful will realize a book that size makes a perfect deadfall for their small game traps.
 
2012-09-17 03:24:33 PM
How irresponsible, giving a 12 year old a bible.
 
2012-09-17 03:24:35 PM

xxmedium: "And the best part? Your Uncle Dick Cheney is going to take you out to teach you how to shoot!"

[www.betterparentinginstitute.com image 850x566]


Oh, you're beautiful!
 
2012-09-17 03:25:40 PM
when you're truly one of the scum of the earth, you don't retire...

Link

you just find new sheep to fleece
 
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