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(610 WIOD)   Oliver North says he gives three presents to his grandchildren when they turn 12; "a shotgun, a bible, and a compass". Paper shredder surprisingly absent   (610wiod.com) divider line 227
    More: Dumbass, paper shredder  
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4492 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Sep 2012 at 2:30 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-17 10:44:35 AM  
so they can find their bible and shoot it?
 
2012-09-17 10:45:09 AM  
Well, those are crappy gifts. I'd be a very disappointed 12 year old.
 
2012-09-17 10:45:46 AM  
If I was a 12 year old, I wouldn't mind that present.
 
2012-09-17 10:48:06 AM  
Forget that. Give me 1980s Fawn Hall.

Rawr!
 
2012-09-17 10:48:29 AM  
"Oh! Cool, a gun! And some.. other.. things. Thanks, Grandpa!"
 
2012-09-17 10:51:08 AM  
"Grandpa, do you even know what an iPad is?"
 
2012-09-17 10:54:36 AM  
"Grandpa, why aren't you in federal prison?"
 
2012-09-17 10:54:38 AM  
Tea PArtiers just came reading this headline.
 
2012-09-17 10:58:28 AM  
I'd be ashamed to have a traitor as grandfather.
 
2012-09-17 11:00:09 AM  
Wny do they need compasses, anyways? I'm pretty sure finding North is pretty easy for them. (Get it? Get it???)
 
2012-09-17 11:00:23 AM  
A moral compass?
 
2012-09-17 11:00:32 AM  
Now that's how you make those boys into a MAN! And he's only waiting until they're 12 because MOM insisted! Women!
Pining for the old days and when I was a kid and dad and cats in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man on the moon

i46.tinypic.com

//so vote Republican
 
2012-09-17 11:01:25 AM  

Rev.K: A moral compass?


A 'what would Jesus do' moral compass would look something like a regular compass with North, South, East and West replaced with "Be Nice."
 
2012-09-17 11:01:34 AM  
He's not a very good Christian if he waits until his grandkids are twelve before giving them a Bible.
 
2012-09-17 11:01:54 AM  
Hey, Ollie, there are apps for two of those things. Ask your grandchildren about them.
 
2012-09-17 11:13:06 AM  
Wish I could find the text but I like to post Senator and War hero Daniel Inouye's lecture to Oliver North on the duties of an Officer of the US military in every Ollie North thread. It is the best OH SNAP response to anything that comes out of that assholes mouth.
 
2012-09-17 11:15:09 AM  

tallguywithglasseson:

[i46.tinypic.com image 537x357]



looks like the kind of chainsaw you would plug in
 
2012-09-17 11:17:11 AM  
What? What about the legacy of a name that will forever be associated with treason, failure, and dishonesty? That's a kind of present. One you wouldn't give to your worst enemy, but still.
 
2012-09-17 11:18:11 AM  
If I got my own shotgun at age 12, I'd be pretty happy. All I got was my .22 plinking rifle.
 
2012-09-17 11:31:59 AM  
*Guilty Kitty j.peg*
 
I got you a moral compass but I shredded and eated it.
 
2012-09-17 11:34:30 AM  
They might already have one:

www.myservice.com
 
2012-09-17 11:35:11 AM  
Has this whore got a book coming out or something, who asked him.
 
2012-09-17 11:43:48 AM  

PreMortem: Has this whore got a book coming out or something, who asked him.


How'd you guess? Yup.

He also will be hosting a tour through Israel in January. Almost makes me want to root for Iran.
 
2012-09-17 11:44:51 AM  
And when they turn 18 they give themselves the present of a Petition to the Court to Change a Name.
 
2012-09-17 11:45:55 AM  
I got a 20 gauge when I turned 12.. Didn't get a 12 gauge until 14 :(

Already had the bible and compass.. slackers.
 
2012-09-17 11:46:51 AM  
Notice he doesn't actually teach the brats to use their new guns.
 
2012-09-17 11:47:38 AM  
Nice, closing the loop from another thread.

Oliver North, a convicted felon.
William Clinton, never convicted.
 
2012-09-17 11:48:40 AM  
I see ole Ollie is still running guns...

/ bah dump-bump
 
2012-09-17 11:53:38 AM  
"I say that if you learn to use all three - the shotgun, the bible and the compass - you will never be lost, you will never be hungry and you need fear nothing, but you must learn to use all three."

Says the member of the political party that can cultivate fear like nobody else. They've got plenty of shotguns and bibles but it doesn't seem to help.
 
2012-09-17 11:56:46 AM  
Those are shiatty gifts. If I was any age, and someone gave me any of those things as a Christmas present, I'd think they didn't really like me very much.
 
2012-09-17 12:03:03 PM  
You can't have Oliver North without Fawn Hall:

Then --

3.bp.blogspot.com1.bp.blogspot.com

Now ----

www.corbisimages.com 

/off my lawn and out of my bunk
 
2012-09-17 12:04:21 PM  
What does he give his grand daughters?
 
2012-09-17 12:06:08 PM  

kid_icarus: What does he give his grand daughters?


Syphilis.

//too far?
 
2012-09-17 12:08:34 PM  
How about copies of the US Constitution and your oath of service?
 
2012-09-17 12:09:07 PM  
Came here to mention the lac of Fawn Hall and she's aged very well, still quite the hot little number. I'd let her destroy incriminating evidence for me any day of the week.

//Yes I'm farking old
//Always thought Fawn was hotter than Jessica Hahn or the streetwalker Swaggert ended up with.
//Man 80's sex scandals were better than 90's ones, or is is just me?
 
2012-09-17 12:17:42 PM  

tallguywithglasseson: kid_icarus: What does he give his grand daughters?

Syphilis.

//too far?


Not far enough, d00d.

But nah, this is typical southern macho bullshiat that assumes all of your grandsons will be redneck meatheads that want to blow holes in forest animals and pray to Jeebus. What's Ollie going to do when one of the grandsons is of a, er...sensitive nature...or when one of the granddaughters wants a gun of her own?
 
2012-09-17 12:24:37 PM  
Could you get any more stereotypical?

Who did he get to buy the shotgun, his being a convicted felon and all?
 
2012-09-17 12:26:14 PM  

kid_icarus: tallguywithglasseson: kid_icarus: What does he give his grand daughters?

Syphilis.

//too far?

Not far enough, d00d.

But nah, this is typical southern macho bullshiat that assumes all of your grandsons will be redneck meatheads that want to blow holes in forest animals and pray to Jeebus. What's Ollie going to do when one of the grandsons is of a, er...sensitive nature...or when one of the granddaughters wants a gun of her own?


He'll shoot it out of them.
 
2012-09-17 12:31:01 PM  
the compass is the only thing i would want. you can keep the other two
 
2012-09-17 12:46:27 PM  
"A few months ago I told the American people I did not trade arms for hostages. My heart and my best intentions still tell me that's true, but the facts and the evidence tell me it is not. As the Tower board reported, what began as a strategic opening to Iran deteriorated, in its implementation, into trading arms for hostages. This runs counter to my own beliefs, to administration policy, and to the original strategy we had in mind."
-Ronald Reagan

"Ronald Reagan knew of and approved a great deal of what went on with both the Iranian initiative and private efforts on behalf of the contras and he received regular, detailed briefings on both.... I have no doubt that he was told about the use of residuals for the Contras, and that he approved it. Enthusiastically."
-Oliver North


Attention right wingers: They can't both be telling the truth.
 
2012-09-17 01:04:53 PM  

kid_icarus: But nah, this is typical southern macho bullshiat that assumes all of your grandsons will be redneck meatheads that want to blow holes in forest animals and pray to Jeebus


Grandson: "But Grandpa, I don't want to kill anything"
Ollie: "OH YES YOU DO" [shoves bible into grandson's chest]
 
2012-09-17 01:04:58 PM  

Mugato: Could you get any more stereotypical?

Who did he get to buy the shotgun, his being a convicted felon and all?


His felony convictions were vacated by the ACLU and an activist judge.
 
2012-09-17 01:06:24 PM  
"The shotgun symbolizes the weapons I sold to Iran, the Bible symbolizes the one I swore an oath on and then lied to Congress, and the last one is to remind you that grandpa has no moral compass."
 
2012-09-17 01:56:15 PM  
subby: Paper shredder surprisingly absent

you can use the shotgun for that.
 
2012-09-17 02:13:29 PM  
Hmm. I would have imagined a custom Fleshlight modeled after Fawn Hall's vagina. But then again I'm the cynical type.
 
2012-09-17 02:15:21 PM  

ManateeGag: you can use the shotgun for that.


Not quite as efficient, but a hell of a lot more fun.
 
2012-09-17 02:20:55 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

R.I.P. NORTH
 
2012-09-17 02:32:15 PM  
And Muslim extremists give their kids AK-47s, the Koran, and a cell phone. And the rest of us just try to not be collateral damage in the ongoing war between the fundies.
 
2012-09-17 02:33:14 PM  
"Paper shredder surprisingly absent"

That's what the shotgun is for.
 
2012-09-17 02:35:22 PM  

tallguywithglasseson: Now that's how you make those boys into a MAN! And he's only waiting until they're 12 because MOM insisted! Women!


He must be whipped. The littlebopper got his first gun at 8:

i47.tinypic.com

I was a tad younger when I got my first gun:

img144.imageshack.us
 
2012-09-17 02:35:23 PM  
this is simply another gop operative who should have been in jail for a decade or so.
why people listen to him is beyond me. He fell on his sword to protect Reagan and Poppy Bush.
They pardoned him just like Wolfowitz.
 
2012-09-17 02:36:13 PM  
A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter.
 
2012-09-17 02:36:16 PM  

Somacandra: [upload.wikimedia.org image 296x442]

R.I.P. NORTH


Roger Ebert on "North":

I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.
 
2012-09-17 02:36:57 PM  
So they can load their shotgun, pack their bible and use their compass to head due North...
 
2012-09-17 02:37:24 PM  
I say we keep the shotgun, trade the compass for whiskey and use the bible for wadding.
 
2012-09-17 02:37:33 PM  
Is it awkward that I use "OllieNorth" as a character name in pretty much every MMO I play?
 
2012-09-17 02:37:49 PM  
Paper shredder surprisingly absent.

Silly subby. Paper shredders are a law school graduation gift.
 
2012-09-17 02:38:06 PM  
Aw, but I wanted a cotton gin.
 
2012-09-17 02:38:55 PM  
If you're lost and need to eat, and have horrible aim.

Shotgun.

Need a direction while lost and eating game.

compass.

Need a collection of stories on the hiking trip but don't believe in things like an ereader.

The bible contains several books/stories


added bonus if you're a christian and like to read it.
 
2012-09-17 02:38:56 PM  
So they can find his gold?

encrypted-tbn2.google.com
 
2012-09-17 02:39:16 PM  
Take the compass and face true north, read Genesis3:19b, and blow your head off.
 
2012-09-17 02:40:21 PM  

tallguywithglasseson: Now that's how you make those boys into a MAN! And he's only waiting until they're 12 because MOM insisted! Women!
Pining for the old days and when I was a kid and dad and cats in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man on the moon

[i46.tinypic.com image 537x357]

//so vote Republican


What he doesn't tell you is that after giving them those presents he drives them about 200 miles away and releases them into the Shenandoah National Forest and expects them to walk home unassisted if they want to continue to be part of the family. Oh, and the shotgun only has two shells, and he hints to the kid they might want to save one in case they break thier leg, get mauled by a bear of somehow fail to find fresh water.
 
2012-09-17 02:41:04 PM  
I still have the .410 I got as a present when I was 14 or so. It's just the thing for pests in the yard. The Bible had those old rice-paper pages, they got used up over time to roll joints. I sold the compass on Ebay not long ago for $100, it was a collectable.

So, all in all, not a bad harvest.
 
2012-09-17 02:41:35 PM  
You should be in pen, Oliver, you farking treason committing motherfarker.
 
2012-09-17 02:41:41 PM  

NuttierThanEver: Wish I could find the text but I like to post Senator and War hero Daniel Inouye's lecture to Oliver North on the duties of an Officer of the US military in every Ollie North thread. It is the best OH SNAP response to anything that comes out of that assholes mouth.


A minor reason I voted for Jim Webb Was because I knew that he once got to punch Ollie North in the face, repeatedly for about two hours
 
2012-09-17 02:42:00 PM  
Dawww, you're all still butthurt that the Reagan admin stopped the commies from turning central America into a socialist paradise?
 
2012-09-17 02:43:09 PM  

WorldCitizen: Hey, Ollie, there are apps for two of those things. Ask your grandchildren about them.


Yeah, and the compass is some cheap crap made in China while the bible is some toilet-paper quality stuff printed in Indonesia.
 
2012-09-17 02:43:47 PM  

TheHighlandHowler: They might already have one:

[www.myservice.com image 250x420]


They might have all three

a3.mzstatic.com

www.christiannewstoday.com
 
2012-09-17 02:44:11 PM  

mark12A: Dawww, you're all still butthurt that the Reagan admin stopped the commies from turning central America into a socialist paradise?


THIS.

/even tho the whole 'butthurt' meme annoys me
 
2012-09-17 02:44:24 PM  
Shrug, this isn't unusual Bible Belt stuff.
 
2012-09-17 02:44:50 PM  

TheHighlandHowler: They might already have one:

[www.myservice.com image 250x420]


I see you're in San Francisco. Looks like SOMA area, am I right?
 
2012-09-17 02:45:23 PM  
He's a cheap bastard. That stuff was all left over from the Iran / Contra deals. Pony up some cash and get them a hooker, you knob!
 
2012-09-17 02:45:33 PM  
I plan on giving my daughter my first rifle (ruger 10/22) when she turns 10 or 11.

She'll need to learn iron sights before she gets optics.
 
2012-09-17 02:45:38 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: Notice he doesn't actually teach the brats to use their new guns.


Or the bible or the compass.
 
2012-09-17 02:47:29 PM  
and this lamp, all I need is a shotgun a compass, a bible and this lamp.


and the dog.
 
2012-09-17 02:48:02 PM  

Irving Maimway: Came here to mention the lac of Fawn Hall and she's aged very well, still quite the hot little number. I'd let her destroy incriminating evidence for me any day of the week.

//Yes I'm farking old
//Always thought Fawn was hotter than Jessica Hahn or the streetwalker Swaggert ended up with.
//Man 80's sex scandals were better than 90's ones, or is is just me?


They didn't get all obese with too much HFCS sodas and lots of BGH meat.
 
2012-09-17 02:48:31 PM  
d3n8a8pro7vhmx.cloudfront.net
 
2012-09-17 02:48:45 PM  
What a jerk.
 
2012-09-17 02:50:02 PM  
Lemme see. Short the book and walk north until my hat floats..... I can do that.

tallguywithglasseson: kid_icarus: What does he give his grand daughters?

Syphilis.

//too far?


Oh well played. I am awed.
 
2012-09-17 02:50:12 PM  
www.liketotally80s.com
 
2012-09-17 02:50:51 PM  
/ SHOOT the book. Damnitallsomuch.
 
2012-09-17 02:51:07 PM  

stpauler: PreMortem: Has this whore got a book coming out or something, who asked him.

How'd you guess? Yup.

He also will be hosting a tour through Israel in January. Almost makes me want to root for Iran.


Well he does know a lot about making deals with Iranians, maybe he can help.
 
2012-09-17 02:51:11 PM  

NuttierThanEver: Wish I could find the text but I like to post Senator and War hero Daniel Inouye's lecture to Oliver North on the duties of an Officer of the US military in every Ollie North thread. It is the best OH SNAP response to anything that comes out of that assholes mouth.


http://www.brown.edu/Research/Understanding_the_Iran_Contra_Affair/v- o n22.php
 
2012-09-17 02:51:25 PM  
I am very sad to hear that this fascist toady piece of shiat managed to pass on his genes. Let's hope his progeny can do better than he did despite them.
 
2012-09-17 02:51:45 PM  
If you're ever in a position to NEED a compass, a smartphone app isn't going to help. For if you have an operable cell phone, you can find your way out of trouble by calling help. A good, Silva orienteering compass seems quite in line with what an Army officer would find valuable. Shotgun? Everyone should learn how to shoot, and I've taught as many 12-year-olds as any age among Boy Scouts. I think it would be pretty damn cool to get a shotgun, especially as a 7th grader.

The bible? What do you want? He's a grandpa... the gifts can't all be winners.

All the criminal/treasonous/political theater past? What do you want? The grandkids can't change that their pop-pop is a bad man.
 
2012-09-17 02:51:57 PM  

raerae1980: Well, those are crappy gifts. I'd be a very disappointed 12 year old.


Pssh. Says you. Sounds like a freakin' awesome birthday to me.
 
2012-09-17 02:52:52 PM  

Mugato: Who did he get to buy the shotgun, his being a convicted felon and all?


Strictly speaking, he's not. His convictions were vacated on appeal, because witnesses against him were (theoretically, potentially) tainted by the 24/7 coverage of his testimony to Congress. If you want to make his trufans' heads explode, mention that he weaseled out of jail on that technicality thanks to the scum-sucking America-hating criminal-loving defense lawyers of the ACLU.

But as for what he said, it's no big deal. I mean, I give my grandkids Russian-language copies of the Communist Manifesto, explosives suitable for blowing up oil pipelines, and framed portraits of Leon Czolgosz. Or at least that's what I'd say if my extremist fringe would pony up the welfare checks this guy gets from his.
 
2012-09-17 02:52:59 PM  

TypoFlyspray: / SHOOT the book. Damnitallsomuch.


What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!
 
2012-09-17 02:53:43 PM  
I could use a compass, sometimes my gps cannot find enough satellites up in the hills.
 
2012-09-17 02:54:00 PM  
www.foreignpolicy.com
 
2012-09-17 02:54:16 PM  
I think I was 13 when my dad bought me a shotgun. We already had a bible and I didn't have much need of a compass. I was a pretty good woodsman without it.
 
2012-09-17 02:55:00 PM  

Posh Naranek: Shrug, this isn't unusual Bible Belt stuff.


Just like their obsession with domestic violence.
 
2012-09-17 02:55:16 PM  

cwolf20: If you're lost and need to eat, and have horrible aim.

Shotgun.

Need a direction while lost and eating game.

compass.

Need a collection of stories on the hiking trip but don't believe in things like an ereader.

The bible contains several books/stories


added bonus if you're a christian and like to read it.


I acknowledge that people read the bible, but I refuse to believe that anyone actually likes to read it.
 
2012-09-17 02:56:02 PM  
"No thanks grandpa. I plan on cashing in on my relation to you by becoming a writer. I was crawling around in your attic the other day and I found some of those plans you had to suspend the Constitution. Cool. How about some notes on that time you and Ronnie came up with the notion that a nuclear war was winnable? It would have been fun to grow up in a post-win world."
 
2012-09-17 02:56:07 PM  
But I thought saying that Republicans clung to their bibles and guns was inaccurate?
 
2012-09-17 02:56:51 PM  
My very Boobiesol was a cap & ball Colt, shoots as fast as lightning but it loads a might slow.
 
2012-09-17 02:57:07 PM  

stpauler: PreMortem: Has this whore got a book coming out or something, who asked him.

How'd you guess? Yup.

He also will be hosting a tour through Israel in January. Almost makes me want to root for Iran.


Wait. A dude made famous for selling weapons to IRAN is going to take a tour in Israel?
 
2012-09-17 02:57:14 PM  
i47.tinypic.com

I'm sure the kids will be fine.
 
2012-09-17 02:57:21 PM  
Umm...why do we give a flying fark what this criminal scum bag gives his grandchildren?
 
2012-09-17 02:58:22 PM  
Semper Fib, Ollie, you sack of poop.
 
2012-09-17 02:58:36 PM  
Shouldn't the compass already be in the stock? 

(Obscure? Nah.)
 
2012-09-17 02:58:39 PM  
The book "How To Beat Those Silly Treason Charges" surprisingly absent.
 
2012-09-17 02:58:44 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i47.tinypic.com image 800x664]

I'm sure the kids will be fine.


damn, that reminded a friend from high school committed suicide with the shotgun his dad gave him for Christmas.

sad sh*t.
 
2012-09-17 02:58:54 PM  

ampoliros: NuttierThanEver: Wish I could find the text but I like to post Senator and War hero Daniel Inouye's lecture to Oliver North on the duties of an Officer of the US military in every Ollie North thread. It is the best OH SNAP response to anything that comes out of that assholes mouth.

http://www.brown.edu/Research/Understanding_the_Iran_Contra_Affair/v- o n22.php


Inouye stated, "The uniform code makes it abundantly clear that it must be the Lawful orders of a superior officer.

In fact it says, 'Members of the military have an obligation to disobey unlawful orders.' This principle was considered so
important that we--we, the government of the United States--proposed that it be internationally applied in the Nuremberg trials."
 
2012-09-17 02:58:56 PM  

mcreadyblue: [www.foreignpolicy.com image 300x192]


My first thought with that image? "A redacted Bible? Uh...thanks, Grandpa."
 
2012-09-17 02:59:09 PM  

cwolf20: If you're lost and need to eat, and have horrible aim.

Shotgun.

Need a direction while lost and eating game.

compass.

Need toilet paper when lost.

The bible contains a lot of it.


added bonus if you're a christian and like to read it.


FIFY
 
2012-09-17 02:59:16 PM  
Certainly won't be your copy of the constitution because you already wiped your ass with that, right Ollie?

/Scumbag should be currently picking corn chunks out of his own feces in Guantanamo.
 
2012-09-17 02:59:17 PM  
Dumbass must be for subby. Subby must not realise the attrocities commited by the Sandinistas
maybe just went to Chicago Public Schools
 
2012-09-17 02:59:29 PM  

probesport: My very Boobiesol was a cap & ball Colt, shoots as fast as lightning but it loads a might slow.


What the shiat? Boobiesol, Pistol....
 
2012-09-17 03:01:04 PM  
"Dad, we live in the Chicago suburbs. Jayson is going to be attending Interlochen next year for his cello. They don't want this stuff."
"GODLESS LIBERAL COMMIE BASTARDS WARGBLEBARGLE!"
"Look, I didn't want to bring this up now....but we're going to Hawaii for Christmas this year."
 
2012-09-17 03:01:23 PM  
When I turned 16 I got two things:

My drivers license
A shotgun

/yes, I grew up on a farm
//bought my own vehicle with my savings, paid cash
 
2012-09-17 03:02:52 PM  

s1ugg0: But I thought saying that Republicans clung to their bibles and guns was inaccurate?


Duh! He didn't even say shiat about the compass. It was a factually inaccurate comment and Obama should be ashamed.
 
2012-09-17 03:03:16 PM  
What? No TOW missiles? The Iranian's got those from Ollie and they don't even celebrate Christmas!
 
2012-09-17 03:03:46 PM  

basemetal: If I was a 12 year old, I wouldn't mind that present.


Shotty and a compass are pretty awesome gifts. I'm surprised he doesn't complete the set with an awesome Swiss army knife or something.

I guess if he wanted to do the moral guidance thing someone's suggestion of a copy of the US Constitution wouldn't hurt.

Still Ollie's a dirt bag even if he's a decent grandfather.
 
2012-09-17 03:04:35 PM  

Diogenes: What? What about the legacy of a name that will forever be associated with treason, failure, and dishonesty? That's a kind of present. One you wouldn't give to your worst enemy, but still.


Whats funny about the Iran Contra affair is that if it happened today 1) we wouldn't know about it officially as it would be deemed to secret to discuss and a matter of national Security and 2) no one would give a shiat.

Between Bush and Obama basically doing whatever the hell they want regardless of laws the Iran contra affair wouldn't even register.

Selling arms to Iran to fund Contras.
Killing US citizens with a secret kill list
Spying on all Americans every phone call, email, text
Torturing innocent people.
Keeping people in cages w/o charges for over a decade

Ya I don't think the dishonesty, treason etc should fall only at old Ollies feet.
 
2012-09-17 03:04:44 PM  
They like to hunt in Alberta once in awhile

farm4.staticflickr.com 

The people who owned the lodge they stayed at gave my dad some pics of them

They said he was nice, but kind of a twit.
 
2012-09-17 03:04:59 PM  

Sgt Otter: "The shotgun symbolizes the weapons I sold to Iran, the Bible symbolizes the one I swore an oath on and then lied to Congress, and the last one is to remind you that grandpa has no moral compass."


This.
 
2012-09-17 03:05:38 PM  

Crotchrocket Slim: basemetal: If I was a 12 year old, I wouldn't mind that present.

Shotty and a compass are pretty awesome gifts. I'm surprised he doesn't complete the set with an awesome Swiss army knife or something.

I guess if he wanted to do the moral guidance thing someone's suggestion of a copy of the US Constitution wouldn't hurt.

Still Ollie's a dirt bag even if he's a decent grandfather.


Fixed blade full tang seems to be more fitting.
 
2012-09-17 03:05:56 PM  
He should get them air rifles like Atticus got Jem and Scout.
 
2012-09-17 03:06:10 PM  
Guns, God, and... Cartography???
 
2012-09-17 03:06:33 PM  
Farking rightwing loon. He's like a professional wrestler who forgets it's kayfabe.
 
2012-09-17 03:06:44 PM  

OldManDownDRoad: The Bible had those old rice-paper pages, they got used up over time to roll joints.


i.imgur.com

Thanks, Uncle Ollie!
 
2012-09-17 03:08:41 PM  

Hermione_Granger: He should get them air rifles like Atticus got Jem and Scout.


Atticus killed neighborghood dogs. He was sick and so are you.
 
2012-09-17 03:09:29 PM  

boozehat: I plan on giving my daughter my first rifle (ruger 10/22) when she turns 10 or 11.


Nice. I started my kid out with a Chipmunk. Not that I turned him loose in the neighborhood with a brick of CCI Stingers or anything.
 
2012-09-17 03:09:33 PM  
In related news: Oliver North is a grandpa from a 1950s sitcom.

Warnings against "that durn rock n' roll devil music" soon to follow.
 
2012-09-17 03:10:07 PM  
static.tvfanatic.com
Is impressed.
 
2012-09-17 03:11:03 PM  
funny story - at least to me.

During the Ollie North hearings, I had to attend a meeting at the Pentagon. When I returned from the meeting, I told a woman in the office that the Pentagon leaders were so much in support of Ollie that they had named one of the parking lots for him. Our offices being about 500 miles from DC and the fact that she had never been to the Pentagon made her accept my statement as true, once I showed her the map of the Pentagon.

Maybe it isn't that funny.
 
2012-09-17 03:11:12 PM  
No he doesn't. He just says that because it's what his audience want to hear. He probably gives them a bag of Wuerther's candy.
 
2012-09-17 03:11:25 PM  

ToxicMunkee: He's not a very good Christian if he waits until his grandkids are twelve before giving them a Bible.


Hey, they're home schooled, ya know. May as well wait until they can read.

/yeah, I went there
 
2012-09-17 03:12:19 PM  

machodonkeywrestler: So they can find his gold?

[encrypted-tbn2.google.com image 259x194]


Thanks macho, came to see my favorite episode referenced.

/If I eat all the dirt, then only the gold will be left!
 
2012-09-17 03:13:27 PM  

tallguywithglasseson: kid_icarus: What does he give his grand daughters?

Syphilis.

//too far?


Just right.
 
2012-09-17 03:14:46 PM  
People rarely, if ever, change.
 
2012-09-17 03:15:33 PM  
Funny.

I would have thought, drawing on his own life experiences, he would have given them:

1. a lawyer
2. a doddering, mentally ill employer
3. drugs to sell
 
2012-09-17 03:17:44 PM  
Guy could have a good time in Vegas with all that stuff.
 
2012-09-17 03:18:10 PM  
If he hadn't buried all his gold, he could afford better presents
 
2012-09-17 03:18:13 PM  
A bible, so you feel good about wanting to kill other people.
A shotgun, with which to kill other people.
A compass, because modern ideas like GPS or evolution scare you.

No wonder FOX snapped this guy up as a news commentator, he's the archetypical modern GOP activist.
 
2012-09-17 03:18:49 PM  
"...you will never be lost, you will never be hungry and you need fear nothing,"

- You will never be lost: no matter which way the compass points, that's where you are
- You will never be hungry: you can always use the shotgun to hold up a McDonalds
- You need fear nothing: except an IRS audit of your sham 501(c)(3)
 
2012-09-17 03:19:52 PM  

WorldCitizen: Hey, Ollie, there are apps for two of those things. Ask your grandchildren about them.


How many days does an iPhone battery last on a camping trip?
 
2012-09-17 03:20:01 PM  
Dohohoho.

The fact that Ollie is walking around and not in a jail serves to show that realpolitik is best politik, and that morals and ideology are just rationalizations applied selectively and conveniently.
 
2012-09-17 03:20:01 PM  
Great! All three can get you in trouble.
 
2012-09-17 03:20:17 PM  
Shoot.. a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.
 
2012-09-17 03:20:29 PM  

Lumpmoose: "I say that if you learn to use all three - the shotgun, the bible and the compass - you will never be lost, you will never be hungry and you need fear nothing, but you must learn to use all three."

Says the member of the political party that can cultivate fear like nobody else. They've got plenty of shotguns and bibles but it doesn't seem to help.


And compasses that only point east.
 
2012-09-17 03:21:08 PM  

enry: Guy could have a good time in Vegas with all that stuff.


...and that's what I get for not refreshing fast enough.

*Shakes tiny fist*
 
2012-09-17 03:22:01 PM  
"And the best part? Your Uncle Dick Cheney is going to take you out to teach you how to shoot!"

www.betterparentinginstitute.com
 
2012-09-17 03:22:39 PM  

Coolfusis: If I got my own shotgun at age 12, I'd be pretty happy. All I got was my .22 plinking rifle.


I got my shotgun at 12 and a .22, got my daughter her first rifle and shotgun when she turned 8. Wife used to be anti-gun until she went to the range and had a BLAST!!!
 
2012-09-17 03:23:11 PM  

nytmare: WorldCitizen: Hey, Ollie, there are apps for two of those things. Ask your grandchildren about them.

How many days does an iPhone battery last on a camping trip?


This! That phone will be dead long before they get to the end and then they'll wish they had that paper copy of the Bible to learn what happens to Jesus at the end of the book.
 
2012-09-17 03:23:47 PM  

grokca: cwolf20: If you're lost and need to eat, and have horrible aim.

Shotgun.

Need a direction while lost and eating game.

compass.

Need toilet paper when lost.

The bible contains a lot of it.


added bonus if you're a christian and like to read it.

FIFY


Actually the bible's a test: once he abandons them in the wilderness he knows the weak ones will read the bible and pray for deliverance. The spoiled ones will waste it as toilet paper, the too-clever ones will use it as kindling and freeze when the paper runs out. The truly resourceful will realize a book that size makes a perfect deadfall for their small game traps.
 
2012-09-17 03:24:33 PM  
How irresponsible, giving a 12 year old a bible.
 
2012-09-17 03:24:35 PM  

xxmedium: "And the best part? Your Uncle Dick Cheney is going to take you out to teach you how to shoot!"

[www.betterparentinginstitute.com image 850x566]


Oh, you're beautiful!
 
2012-09-17 03:25:40 PM  
when you're truly one of the scum of the earth, you don't retire...

Link

you just find new sheep to fleece
 
2012-09-17 03:28:41 PM  
i.imgur.com 

/or not?
 
2012-09-17 03:29:32 PM  

ttc2301: mark12A: Dawww, you're all still butthurt that the Reagan admin stopped the commies from turning central America into a socialist paradise?

THIS.

/even tho the whole 'butthurt' meme annoys me


Ethics, motherfarkers. Do you speak it?
 
2012-09-17 03:29:49 PM  

Maktaka: A compass, because modern ideas like GPS or evolution scare you.


Meh.

They don't scare me. But I do understand their limitations. Ever had a battery die on a compass or a paper map?

Me neither.
 
2012-09-17 03:34:37 PM  
deodorant, a gross of no. 2 pencils, and a pack of cigarettes.
 
2012-09-17 03:36:00 PM  

JWideman: How irresponsible, giving a 12 year old a bible.


Meh. I got Bibles (not actually, but I was in religious schools surrounded by free ones) from 0-17, and all I got was a working knowledge of all the ways people had perverted what was a fairly straightforward message. Once I realized the basic message was pretty farking clear outside the pages, the Bible became largely irrelevant. (But that's sort of why the Talmud's there.)

TL;DR - you(they)'ll live.
 
2012-09-17 03:36:59 PM  

Jekylman: compasses that only point east.


You can build one easy enough. Make a card compass, and just put the pointer 90 degrees to the right of North.
 
2012-09-17 03:38:46 PM  

dittybopper: He must be whipped. The littlebopper got his first gun at 8:


Yes, clearly his daughter has him pussywhipped.
 
2012-09-17 03:39:15 PM  
Oliver North stood behind me in a car rental place at LAX several years ago. That mere proximity was enough to disgust me.
 
2012-09-17 03:40:34 PM  

kid_icarus: tallguywithglasseson: kid_icarus: What does he give his grand daughters?

Syphilis.

//too far?

Not far enough, d00d.

But nah, this is typical southern macho bullshiat that assumes all of your grandsons will be redneck meatheads that want to blow holes in forest animals and pray to Jeebus. What's Ollie going to do when one of the grandsons is of a, er...sensitive nature...or when one of the granddaughters wants a gun of her own?


THIS.

/My grandfather would have a field day with this guy.
 
2012-09-17 03:43:29 PM  

Gleeman: [i.imgur.com image 300x240] 

/or not?


Who drew that? The art style feels familiar...
 
2012-09-17 03:50:28 PM  

raerae1980: Well, those are crappy gifts. I'd be a very disappointed 12 year old.


Those are great gifts. But then again it depends where you live. When I was 12 I lived in a small town in the cascade valley in northern washington. Hunting / Fishing and just shooting at random stuff was normal.
 
2012-09-17 03:50:48 PM  

MoronLessOff: Crotchrocket Slim: basemetal: If I was a 12 year old, I wouldn't mind that present.

Shotty and a compass are pretty awesome gifts. I'm surprised he doesn't complete the set with an awesome Swiss army knife or something.

I guess if he wanted to do the moral guidance thing someone's suggestion of a copy of the US Constitution wouldn't hurt.

Still Ollie's a dirt bag even if he's a decent grandfather.

Fixed blade full tang seems to be more fitting.


That's more of a 16th birthday gift, along with maybe hiring the kid a hooker and buying him a liftetime supply of Tang the drink. You know a themed gift.
 
2012-09-17 03:52:00 PM  

tallguywithglasseson: Now that's how you make those boys into a MAN! And he's only waiting until they're 12 because MOM insisted! Women!
Pining for the old days and when I was a kid and dad and cats in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man on the moon

[i46.tinypic.com image 537x357]

//so vote Republican


Wuss. Was operating the larger and more powerful McCulloch 710 during occasional forays into the woods with Dear Old Dad, when I was 10.

/Dating myself. When I was 10, McCulloch was still in business, and still made professional-quality chainsaws.
 
2012-09-17 03:54:49 PM  

forgotmydamnusername: Wuss. Was operating the larger and more powerful McCulloch 710 during occasional forays into the woods with Dear Old Dad, when I was 10.


And Reagan was probably 80+. That photo was basically, "Too old to be president? Nonsense! Look how virile he is! He's out manlying it up with a chainsaw! There's no way he's going senile!"
 
2012-09-17 03:56:15 PM  

ttc2301: mark12A: Dawww, you're all still butthurt that the Reagan admin stopped the commies from turning central America into a socialist paradise?

THIS.

/even tho the whole 'butthurt' meme annoys me


Yes, we were on the side of the "good guys".

Jean Donovan (April 10, 1953 - December 2, 1980) was an American lay missionary who was raped and murdered with three nuns in El Salvador by a military death squad while volunteering to do charity work during the civil war there.

....In the afternoon of December 2, Donovan and Dorothy Kazel picked up two Maryknoll missionary sisters, Maura Clarke and Ita Ford, from the airport after the pair arrived from attending a Maryknoll conference in Managua, Nicaragua. They were under surveillance by a National Guardsman at the time, who phoned his commander for orders. Acting on orders from their commander, five National Guard members changed into plainclothes and continued to stake out the airport.

The five members of the National Guard of El Salvador, out of uniform, stopped the vehicle they were driving after they left the airport in San Salvador. Donovan and the three sisters were taken to a relatively isolated spot where they were beaten, raped, and murdered by the soldiers.[4]

At about 10:00 the night of Tuesday, December 2, three hours after Donovan and Kazel picked up Clarke and Ford, local peasants had seen the sisters' white van drive to an isolated spot and then heard machine-gun fire followed by single shots. They saw five men flee the scene in the white van, with the lights on and the radio blaring. The van would be found later that night, on fire at the side of the airport road.[4]

Early the next morning, Wednesday, December 3, they found the bodies of the four women, and were told by local authorities-a judge, three members of the civil guard, and two commanders-to bury the women in a common grave in a nearby field. Four of the local men did so, but informed their parish priest, and the news reached the local bishop and the U.S. Ambassador to El Salvador, Robert White, the same day.[4]

Jean Donovan 

Mark12A rides his bicycle on the sidewalk like he's seven years old. Can't expect much from him.
 
2012-09-17 03:56:45 PM  
Rita: You're missin' all the fun! These peopleNorths are great! Some of them have been partyin'hunting all night long! They sing songsquote the Bible 'till they get too cold and then they go sit by the fire and they get warm, and then they come back and singquote some more!
Phil: Yeah, they're hicks, Rita!
 
2012-09-17 03:57:17 PM  

tallguywithglasseson: dittybopper: He must be whipped. The littlebopper got his first gun at 8:

Yes, clearly his daughter has him pussywhipped.


affordablehousinginstitute.org

Hey, it could happen.
 
2012-09-17 03:57:30 PM  
Does he also teach them the "secret handshake" wink-wink
 
2012-09-17 03:58:40 PM  
Tactical Facepalm!

Seniautomatc DS Arms SA-58 Rifle (licensed copy of the FAL), full LBE kit with four fully loaded magazines (Compass comes with the kit), Hardcover copy of Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand.

What are your questions on this block of instruction?
 
2012-09-17 04:01:27 PM  
It is funny how many libtarded people around here do not understand that their freaking iPhone is not going to work after Obama sends us into WWIII through his limp wristed foreign policy blunders that are meant to hide the fact that he is about to bend over to the Zionist and bomb bomb bomb Iran.
 
2012-09-17 04:02:55 PM  

DaSwankOne: It is funny how many libtarded people around here do not understand that their freaking iPhone is not going to work after Obama sends us into WWIII through his limp wristed foreign policy blunders that are meant to hide the fact that he is about to bend over to the Zionist and bomb bomb bomb Iran.


You said bomb three times
 
2012-09-17 04:05:01 PM  
If he were a liberal, he would, on their 12th birthday, give em a welfare check, a fake voter registration form, and a fertility treatment.
 
2012-09-17 04:06:59 PM  

WorldCitizen: Hey, Ollie, there are apps for two of those things. Ask your grandchildren about them.


Yeah, those apps are great especially if you are hiking overnight or for a couple days. All you have to do is plug your charger into a pine tree since they are all running on household current.

Farking batteries, how do they work?
 
2012-09-17 04:07:30 PM  

Repo Man: Mark12A rides his bicycle on the sidewalk like he's seven years old. Can't expect much from him.


This is the first time I have heard of Mark12A but he sounds a bit more intelligent then the 8 year olds who ride their bikes on a 50mph road.
 
2012-09-17 04:08:07 PM  

probesport: Repo Man: Mark12A rides his bicycle on the sidewalk like he's seven years old. Can't expect much from him.

This is the first time I have heard of Mark12A but he sounds a bit more intelligent than the 8 year olds who ride their bikes on a 50mph road.


FTFM. Grammar Nazi's please see previous post.
 
2012-09-17 04:08:29 PM  
So, if you're 11, you don't exist for uncle Ollie.
 
2012-09-17 04:09:03 PM  
Is this his granddaughter?

i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-09-17 04:11:34 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i47.tinypic.com image 800x664]

I'm sure the kids will be fine.


A double barrel pump? I know of only two men who use such a weapon. One is Moe Sizlack.
 
2012-09-17 04:12:24 PM  

Elvis_Pelt: So, if you're 11, you don't exist for uncle Ollie.


No, you're just a victim.
 
2012-09-17 04:19:48 PM  

probesport: You said bomb three times


That is because you idiots thought it was something to joke about when McCain said it while you were two dumb to see that Obama is actually going to do it so he can stay elected.
 
2012-09-17 04:22:40 PM  

probesport: Repo Man: Mark12A rides his bicycle on the sidewalk like he's seven years old. Can't expect much from him.

This is the first time I have heard of Mark12A but he sounds a bit more intelligent then the 8 year olds who ride their bikes on a 50mph road.


Good to know that you don't mind having to dodge high speed cyclists when walking down the sidewalk. Save it for trolling the next cycling thread.
 
2012-09-17 04:25:28 PM  
And for your sixteenth birthday, buggy whips!.
 
2012-09-17 04:29:46 PM  

JesseL: A double barrel pump? I know of only two men who use such a weapon. One is Moe Sizlack.


Heck, there's actually a double-barrel bolt-action rifle out there! :D Why not?
 
2012-09-17 04:33:44 PM  

stevarooni: JesseL: A double barrel pump? I know of only two men who use such a weapon. One is Moe Sizlack.

Heck, there's actually a double-barrel bolt-action rifle out there! :D Why not?


A friend of mine did build one from a pair of Remington 870s, one left-handed and one right.

Link
 
2012-09-17 04:36:50 PM  

ToxicMunkee: He's not a very good Christian if he waits until his grandkids are twelve before giving them a Bible.


He wants them to associate god with guns. Because only godless people have no guns.
 
2012-09-17 04:39:18 PM  
How Ollie and his kind think:

Link
 
2012-09-17 04:45:02 PM  
MoronLessOff

I acknowledge that people read the bible, but I refuse to believe that anyone actually likes to read it.


Personally I think in today's age of carrying a few extra batteries for the phone, and the existence of little solar chargers that do a good job of charging said phone, straight from the sun.

Carrying a crap ton of e-books is the way to keep yourself occupied when needing to rest.
 
2012-09-17 04:47:22 PM  

Mugato: Could you get any more stereotypical?

Who did he get to buy the shotgun, his being a convicted felon and all?


And if he exchanged money for the shotguns, who gets thrown in jail for illegal sale of a firearm to a convicted felon?

/Yeah. Sure is real important we don't ever help our mortal enemy, Iran, you farking republicocks. Unless, of course...
 
2012-09-17 04:50:24 PM  
DaSwankOne

probesport: You said bomb three times



Well, yes he did. And I remember a parody song in the early 90s that included the words "Bomb bomb bomb, bomb, bomb Iran. Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran. Bomb Iran, just because Weeee Cannnn. Bomb Iran." Can't remember the rest. But it was popular to some people in high school during Desert Storm for no reason
 
2012-09-17 04:52:49 PM  
oddculture.com
 
2012-09-17 04:56:34 PM  

Repo Man: probesport: Repo Man: Mark12A rides his bicycle on the sidewalk like he's seven years old. Can't expect much from him.

This is the first time I have heard of Mark12A but he sounds a bit more intelligent then the 8 year olds who ride their bikes on a 50mph road.

Good to know that you don't mind having to dodge high speed cyclists when walking down the sidewalk. Save it for trolling the next cycling thread.


High Speed Cyclist, lulz.

/jumbo shrimp.
 
2012-09-17 04:56:35 PM  
I remember being a teenager in the late 80's and living in Derpistan, USA, also called the Florida Panhandle. The public relations campaign at the time which North used to craft his image was pure genius. The whole schtick he presented then, and still does with surprising success, was that Oliver North is an American hero being railroaded by the damn liberal media. My hometown, Pensacola, one of America's biggest military-fellating cities, always welcomes him with money and open arms.

When the whole scandal broke I remember there being a very specific type of military guy who worshiped North. It was almost always a retired enlisted guy who retired Petty Officer, maybe gallantly served during the brutal and bloody Grenada War, and wore daily a hat advertising some ship they served on for six months back in '58. 

It still blows me away that 25 years later North can still make big money from this canard.
 
2012-09-17 04:56:59 PM  

Mugato: Could you get any more stereotypical?

Who did he get to buy the shotgun, his being a convicted felon and all?


This. Way to commit another Federal felony.
 
2012-09-17 04:58:02 PM  
It's also good to have 2 drops of kerosene, cornstartch, and warm cow dung on hand to treat snake bites.
 
2012-09-17 05:33:58 PM  
As someone which DID get these as gifts in my early teenage years, I would like to point out my dad & uncles still swear when they hear this mans name.
/military family
 
2012-09-17 05:37:48 PM  
i've never needed a firearm. i live in civilization where there are supermarkets.
 
2012-09-17 05:38:38 PM  

Marine1: raerae1980: Well, those are crappy gifts. I'd be a very disappointed 12 year old.

Pssh. Says you. Sounds like a freakin' awesome birthday to me.


No kidding. Hell, the shotgun and compass (I'm guessing that they are both decent pieces of equipment, he doesn't strike me as the kind of guy to give his grandkids junk) I'd love to have today. Perhaps not so much the bible, I already have a couple and I'm not really into them, but at 12 I would have loved to get one as a gift.
 
2012-09-17 05:40:30 PM  

KrispyKritter: i've never needed a firearm. i live in civilization where there are supermarkets.


1) Good for you, but you aren't everyone. I'm good friends with several families who get most of their meat from hunting, and wouldn't have it any other way.

2) What does need have to do with anything?
 
2012-09-17 05:50:42 PM  

what_now: "Grandpa, why aren't you in federal prison?"


Because he was just following orders and happened to get caught?

TV's Vinnie: [oddculture.com image 550x400]


I have an Iver Johnson 1911A1-ish 45
 
2012-09-17 05:54:41 PM  

KrispyKritter: i've never needed a firearm. i live in civilization where there are supermarkets.


Might be one of the dumbest things I have ever read of Fark. Line up and get fat on that factory farm meat you lemming.
 
2012-09-17 06:00:06 PM  

cwolf20: and the existence of little solar chargers that do a good job of charging said phone, straight from the sun.


Pretty neat little devices too, not that expensive and they work decent enough. The one I have comes with a little charger for 6AA batteries, so you can charge that while your charging your phone during the day, then continue to charge your phone at night from the batteries. It also works as a good modulator between the solar panel and your device for those devices that don't like the uneven voltage coming from the panel. i haven't put mine to much use yet, but my buddy does. He'll plug it into his iPad, and it'll run all day playing movies for his kids while we're working.
 
2012-09-17 06:07:21 PM  

Oafmeel: As someone which DID get these as gifts in my early teenage years, I would like to point out my dad & uncles still swear when they hear this mans name.
/military family


This. My Dad (Vietnam Vet, lifetime Repub) still calls him "that god-damn traitor" whenever he sees him.
 
2012-09-17 06:09:56 PM  
An episode of the cartoon 'Black Dynamite' on adult swim had an awesome premise based on this crap-bag's shenanigans. The coalition of evil white dudes set out to destroy black neighborhoods by flooding the inner city with cheap drugs. The inner city people turned around and sold the drugs to the rich white kids.

It should have been hilarious but, like a growing number of adult swim cartoons these days, it greatly disappointed. Maybe someone with more talent will do something with that idea.
 
2012-09-17 06:22:16 PM  

hitlersbrain: An episode of the cartoon 'Black Dynamite' on adult swim had an awesome premise based on this crap-bag's shenanigans. The coalition of evil white dudes set out to destroy black neighborhoods by flooding the inner city with cheap drugs. The inner city people turned around and sold the drugs to the rich white kids.

It should have been hilarious but, like a growing number of adult swim cartoons these days, it greatly disappointed. Maybe someone with more talent will do something with that idea.


Yeah small problem with that it is only the middle class and poor kids who end up ruining their lives with drugs. Very few rich kids ever do time, ever face any sort of consequences for being a drug addict. The rich kids have to commit some fairly heinous crimes, such as murder, to ever be in trouble with the law. The middle class and poor kids all they have to do is get caught with less then an ounce of weed and they end up in prison.
 
2012-09-17 06:57:11 PM  
A compass so they can find their own asses, a bible so they have something to wipe with, and a shotgun to kill themselves when the poor come to eat them.
 
2012-09-17 06:59:00 PM  
Don't forget a thimble full of tonic to ease your polio.
 
2012-09-17 07:00:58 PM  

Aarontology: I'd be ashamed to have a traitor as grandfather.


According to the NOBACKSIES provision of the PATRIOT Act, it's only treason when a Democratic president orders you to do it.
 
2012-09-17 07:04:34 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: hitlersbrain: An episode of the cartoon 'Black Dynamite' on adult swim had an awesome premise based on this crap-bag's shenanigans. The coalition of evil white dudes set out to destroy black neighborhoods by flooding the inner city with cheap drugs. The inner city people turned around and sold the drugs to the rich white kids.

It should have been hilarious but, like a growing number of adult swim cartoons these days, it greatly disappointed. Maybe someone with more talent will do something with that idea.

Yeah small problem with that it is only the middle class and poor kids who end up ruining their lives with drugs. Very few rich kids ever do time, ever face any sort of consequences for being a drug addict. The rich kids have to commit some fairly heinous crimes, such as murder, to ever be in trouble with the law. The middle class and poor kids all they have to do is get caught with less then an ounce of weed and they end up in prison.


Yup, and even with really bad stuff like murder and kidnapping it isn't a lock that they'll be punished. It has to be "caught at the scene, holding the murder weapon, committing depravities upon the corpse" murder for the rich to be up-the-creek.
 
2012-09-17 07:07:30 PM  

DaSwankOne: KrispyKritter: i've never needed a firearm. i live in civilization where there are supermarkets.

Might be one of the dumbest things I have ever read of Fark. Line up and get fat on that factory farm meat you lemming.


If that's the case, your dumb detector is broken or too dumb to know actual dumb when it detects it.
 
2012-09-17 07:09:56 PM  

DaSwankOne: KrispyKritter: i've never needed a firearm. i live in civilization where there are supermarkets.

Might be one of the dumbest things I have ever read of Fark. Line up and get fat on that factory farm meat you lemming.


Might be one of the dumbest things I've ever read on Fark. Move to Montana and start recycling your own urine; at least then you'll be sure where it came from and what's in it, you tin-hatted, nostalgia-humping, Luddite bastard.
 
2012-09-17 07:21:51 PM  

Heron: DaSwankOne: KrispyKritter: i've never needed a firearm. i live in civilization where there are supermarkets.

Might be one of the dumbest things I have ever read of Fark. Line up and get fat on that factory farm meat you lemming.

Might be one of the dumbest things I've ever read on Fark. Move to Montana and start recycling your own urine; at least then you'll be sure where it came from and what's in it, you tin-hatted, nostalgia-humping, Luddite bastard.


And don't even think about using a compass to get there. My grandpappy told me they work by godless black magic.
 
2012-09-17 07:24:23 PM  

mark12A: Dawww, you're all still butthurt that the Reagan admin stopped the commies from turning central America into a socialist paradise?


Naw. Although that action was illegal.

But what I am really butthurt about is that Reagan sold weapons to the people responsible for bombing the Marine barracks in Beirut, killing hundreds of Americans.

You see, it's the treason that really bugs me. I am sensitive that way.
 
2012-09-17 07:38:49 PM  
Oliver North? That name rings a bell.

Isn't he a traitor?
 
2012-09-17 07:56:44 PM  
Did grampa ever tell about the time he committed an act of treason against the United States, but didn't have to do any jail time because of a technicality?
 
2012-09-17 08:18:34 PM  
Twenty-five years ago at a nearby country high school, a special observance was held to note the bicentennial of the U.S. Constitution. A number of the students attending wore Oliver North T-shirts.

Oh, the ironicalness of it all ...
 
2012-09-17 08:25:54 PM  

KrispyKritter: i've never needed a firearm. i live in civilization where there are supermarkets.


Food (hunting) is one purpose for guns, but hardly the sole purpose. And as Noticeably F.A.T. notes, "need" is not the sole reason to own firearms.
 
2012-09-17 08:34:10 PM  
Warcriminalsayswhat?
 
2012-09-17 09:01:06 PM  
What azimuth does one set to go shooting Amelikites?
 
2012-09-17 09:05:46 PM  

DaSwankOne: KrispyKritter: i've never needed a firearm. i live in civilization where there are supermarkets.

Might be one of the dumbest things I have ever read of Fark. Line up and get fat on that factory farm meat you lemming.


You're doing a good job of derping all up in this thread yourself, chief.
 
2012-09-17 09:26:43 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: You can't have Oliver North without Fawn Hall:

Then --

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 180x279][1.bp.blogspot.com image 360x450]

Now ----

[www.corbisimages.com image 640x429] 

/off my lawn and out of my bunk


My bed, she would not be kicked out of.
 
2012-09-17 11:23:48 PM  

WorldCitizen: Hey, Ollie, there are apps for two of those things. Ask your grandchildren about them.


And how well does that work out when you are off in the woods on a hunting trip weekend? I'm pretty sure most people aren't going to be sitting around reading their bible while hunting but they most certainly will appreciate that compass for getting back out of the woods when the cell phone has a dead battery because it kept boosting its power to fight for a signal with no towers around.
 
2012-09-18 01:06:53 AM  

Diogenes: What? What about the legacy of a name that will forever be associated with treason, failure, and dishonesty? That's a kind of present. One you wouldn't give to your worst enemy, but still.


His name is North, not Obama.
 
2012-09-18 01:33:11 AM  
Wow, I had forgotten about disgraced Private North.

/Will now go forget him again.
 
2012-09-18 02:47:01 AM  
Sigh.
 
2012-09-18 04:59:04 AM  

armoredbulldozer: Diogenes: What? What about the legacy of a name that will forever be associated with treason, failure, and dishonesty? That's a kind of present. One you wouldn't give to your worst enemy, but still.

His name is North, not Obama.


Dude, weak.
 
2012-09-18 06:51:18 AM  

kid_icarus: tallguywithglasseson: kid_icarus: What does he give his grand daughters?

Syphilis.

//too far?

Not far enough, d00d.

But nah, this is typical southern macho bullshiat that assumes all of your grandsons will be redneck meatheads that want to blow holes in forest animals and pray to Jeebus. What's Ollie going to do when one of the grandsons is of a, er...sensitive nature...or when one of the granddaughters wants a gun of her own?


Got my oldest and youngest a shotgun at 12. If I'd had a daughter, she'd have gotten one too if she had wanted one. I however wouldn't have appreciated it if either set of grandparents had done it. That would be the parent's decision.
/Rednedk
//not racist or sexit
 
2012-09-19 03:19:39 PM  
Nana's Vibrator 2012-09-17 03:08:41 PM

Hermione_Granger: He should get them air rifles like Atticus got Jem and Scout.

Atticus killed neighborghood dogs. He was sick and so are you
.


Atticus protected his neighbors from getting attacked by a dog with rabies. Just FYI, rabies can still be pretty damned fatal.

Personally, I don't have an objection to teaching children firearm safety. I do, however have a problem with giving children toy guns. If that makes me "sick," so be it.


From the Mayo Clinic Website:
There is no specific treatment for rabies infection. Though a small number of people have survived rabies, the disease is usually fatal. For that reason, anyone thought to have been exposed to rabies receives a series of shots to prevent the infection from taking hold.

Treatment for people bitten by animals with rabies
If you've been bitten by an animal that is known to have rabies, you'll receive a series of shots to prevent the rabies virus from infecting you. If the animal that bit you can't be found, it may be safest to assume that the animal has rabies. But this will depend on several factors, such as the type of animal and the situation in which the bite occurred.

Rabies shots include:

A fast-acting shot (rabies immune globulin) to prevent the virus from infecting you. Part of this injection is given near the area where the animal bit you if possible, as soon as possible after the bite.
A series of rabies vaccines to help your body learn to identify and fight the rabies virus. Rabies vaccines are given as injections in your arm. You receive five injections over 14 days.
 
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