Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Think Progress)   This week on "What The Hell Does It Take To Get Fired At ABC", reporter Brian Ross claims Iran is "four to six weeks away" from creating nuclear weapons   (thinkprogress.org) divider line 95
    More: Unlikely, Brian Ross, ABC News, Iran, nuclear weapons, Christiane Amanpour, Israeli intelligence, Jake Tapper, Leon Panetta  
•       •       •

1519 clicks; posted to Politics » on 17 Sep 2012 at 1:03 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



95 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-09-17 10:01:18 AM  
Wow. They must have the kid from the 80s movie "The Manhattan Project". I sure as shiat hope he doesn't use Duracells as the power source and reflectors made from salad bowls.
 
2012-09-17 10:06:35 AM  
www.commodorecomputerclub.com

Iran figured out the password is "Joshua"
 
2012-09-17 10:12:34 AM  
Uhm. They already have nukes.
Delivery system? Fail safe? Not so much.
 
2012-09-17 10:13:51 AM  
Laying the ground work for the October surprise of invading Iran??
 
2012-09-17 10:13:58 AM  
Pfft. Iran's so far away from that.
 
2012-09-17 10:25:14 AM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Laying the ground work for the October surprise of invading Iran??


Yeah, that's totally going to win Obama votes all right.

Bibi's propaganda campaign for Romney is in full swing.
 
2012-09-17 10:32:56 AM  
His contract must be coming up soon -- saying that is better than sending a resume tape to Fox News.
 
2012-09-17 10:58:14 AM  
Ross's "sources":

tinkandfriends.com

www.boston.com

www.jeffgothelf.com
 
2012-09-17 10:59:34 AM  
Haven't they been four to six weeks away for about 6 years now?
 
2012-09-17 11:04:41 AM  
I used to like Brian Ross, he's apparently gone off the deep end.

Meh, I gave up network news years ago, it's pretty much sensationalist crap anymore.
 
2012-09-17 11:08:40 AM  

Mentat: Haven't they been four to six weeks away for about 6 years now?


They mean it this time. No, seriously. They mean it.

Stop laughing!
 
2012-09-17 11:10:44 AM  
That's not what I heard. I heard that they were a month or a month and a half away.

Over at foxnation.com, Iran has already populated some of the unused missile silos across the midwest and they are just waiting for Obama to have the keys couriered.
 
2012-09-17 11:20:17 AM  

I_Am_Weasel: That's not what I heard. I heard that they were a month or a month and a half away.

Over at foxnation.com, Iran has already populated some of the unused missile silos across the midwest and they are just waiting for Obama to have the keys couriered.


They are exactly 106 days away. Because the very second Obama finishes taking his second oath of office on January 20th, 2013 he will use that African clicking language to deliver a secret code to launch the newest kind of Iranian "Smart" Missile from those missile bases. These weapons will attack only the heartlandiest of heartland targets with a UN-engineered radiation that will convert guns to Korans, Bibles to copies of "Latino Inches" and erase Fox News from the VCR programming schedule of every household, replacing it with "Glee." Obama will then "Spike the Buzkashi" by implementing Communist Sharia Law and allowing the French Army to roll across our nation using coded messages on the back of interstate signs that allow them to drive on the evil left side of the road so they can replace the National Anthem with Omar Sharif going Gangnam Style.

I know it *seems* too simple, but that's the beauty of the insidious plot.
 
2012-09-17 11:44:42 AM  

Mentat: Haven't they been four to six weeks away for about 6 years now?

 
2012-09-17 11:49:08 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I know it *seems* too simple, but that's the beauty of the insidious plot.


If you weren't already TF I would sponsor you for that post.

As it is I'm just stealing it for next time my dad or my genius uncle forward me fwd fwd FWD FWD fwd about Obama, or post their usual herpaderp on facebook...
 
2012-09-17 12:05:25 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: replace the National Anthem with Omar Sharif going Gangnam Style.


I'm OK with this.
 
2012-09-17 01:05:06 PM  
If they are that close it's too late for military action to be able to stop them.
 
2012-09-17 01:05:38 PM  
Don't tell Brian Ross, but Duncan Hines sells Yellow Cake!
 
2012-09-17 01:06:46 PM  
Ask Bill Maher what it takes to get fired from ABC, subby.
 
2012-09-17 01:07:47 PM  
us4.memecdn.com
 
2012-09-17 01:08:18 PM  
It has to be said: Tinker Bell was a biatch.
 
2012-09-17 01:08:29 PM  

GAT_00: Yeah, that's totally going to win Obama votes all right.

Bibi's propaganda campaign for Romney is in full swing.



You're thinking that ABC is in the tank for Romney? Remember that's who we are talking about. And I think that it would help Obama to get into an armed conflict right now. He's got his base locked down. If he can convince some people it's unpatriotic to vote against a sitting president
 
2012-09-17 01:08:50 PM  
I've seen this plot somewhere before.
 
2012-09-17 01:08:58 PM  

vernonFL: [www.commodorecomputerclub.com image 400x300]

Iran figured out the password is "Joshua"


It wasn't hard. Joshua is a Jewish name.
 
2012-09-17 01:10:09 PM  
Look, the Amazon.com receipt for the Little Giant Enrichment Centrifuge said "4 to 6 weeks for delivery", he's just reporting the facts!
 
2012-09-17 01:10:12 PM  
Ladies and gentlemen: the media has found an angle to make it a horserace again.

It honestly would not surprise me if they spent the seven weeks saying "what are Obama's chances if Iran nukes Israel on November 5th?" followed by "Could Obama invade Iran to prevent a nuclear November surprise? We'll see how his options poll with undecided voters."
 
2012-09-17 01:10:12 PM  

Philip Francis Queeg: If they are that close it's too late for military action to be able to stop them.


Even assuming they were that close, why would it be too late? Some big-ass bombs in the right place would set them back. The problem is not if they know how, but if they can produce the materials needed. The infrastructure necessary to make the components of a nuclear device can be relatively easily distupted.
 
2012-09-17 01:10:56 PM  
So? Who cares if they have nukes?
 
2012-09-17 01:10:58 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I_Am_Weasel: That's not what I heard. I heard that they were a month or a month and a half away.

Over at foxnation.com, Iran has already populated some of the unused missile silos across the midwest and they are just waiting for Obama to have the keys couriered.

They are exactly 106 days away. Because the very second Obama finishes taking his second oath of office on January 20th, 2013 he will use that African clicking language to deliver a secret code to launch the newest kind of Iranian "Smart" Missile from those missile bases. These weapons will attack only the heartlandiest of heartland targets with a UN-engineered radiation that will convert guns to Korans, Bibles to copies of "Latino Inches" and erase Fox News from the VCR programming schedule of every household, replacing it with "Glee." Obama will then "Spike the Buzkashi" by implementing Communist Sharia Law and allowing the French Army to roll across our nation using coded messages on the back of interstate signs that allow them to drive on the evil left side of the road so they can replace the National Anthem with Omar Sharif going Gangnam Style.

I know it *seems* too simple, but that's the beauty of the insidious plot.


That might be Pocket Ninja caliber, there.

And if it weren't for my overwhelming desire for a good life and sanity, I'd love to see a war break out just to watch Netenyahu's face as he realizes he just committed every fabled fallacy at once (swimming with too much chain, biting off more than he could chew, knife to a gunfight, etc.).
 
2012-09-17 01:12:48 PM  
"Also coming up after the break: How many treats are too many for your dog? Are you killing Fido with kindness? Also, is your child vulnerable to kidnap by a sexual predator? Just what is the level of 'Stranger Danger' in your neighborhood? Plus a preview of tonight's 'America's Got Dipshiats'".
 
2012-09-17 01:13:04 PM  
Sure that's not Rosstein?
 
2012-09-17 01:13:41 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: GAT_00: Yeah, that's totally going to win Obama votes all right.

Bibi's propaganda campaign for Romney is in full swing.


You're thinking that ABC is in the tank for Romney? Remember that's who we are talking about. And I think that it would help Obama to get into an armed conflict right now. He's got his base locked down. If he can convince some people it's unpatriotic to vote against a sitting president


I think they are in the tank for money, and a close race means more money. So does making inflammatory statements for big headlines. So I think if they can make a bigger crazier headline that keeps people paying attention to them and the news cycle, they will do it.

If the news organizations were truth first and partisanship last, then Obama would look a little worse in the eyes of his fans than he does (maybe a lot worse to some) and Romney would be called out on an hourly basis for his bullshiat. I could be wrongly skewing things on that; it can be hard to view one's own bias. But a news BUSINESS? It puts money first, like 99% of businesses.
 
2012-09-17 01:13:46 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: he will use that African clicking language to deliver a secret code to launch the newest kind of Iranian "Smart" Missile from those missile bases.


Ass...I just got a dirty look from my department chair.
 
2012-09-17 01:13:57 PM  
If you're going to make claims like that why not just go all out and say they're capable of deploying nuclear weapons within 45 minutes. It's not as though anyone would believe you either way.
 
2012-09-17 01:16:18 PM  

Cyclometh: Philip Francis Queeg: If they are that close it's too late for military action to be able to stop them.

Even assuming they were that close, why would it be too late? Some big-ass bombs in the right place would set them back. The problem is not if they know how, but if they can produce the materials needed. The infrastructure necessary to make the components of a nuclear device can be relatively easily distupted.


If they are that close the materials are already fabricated and they are in the assembly and testing phase. The material would be dispersed to locations remote from the enrichment facilities.
 
2012-09-17 01:16:32 PM  
They're gonna get nukes right around the first week of November! Yep.
 
2012-09-17 01:18:04 PM  

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Pfft. Iran's so far away from that.


www.marchionda.org
Approves
 
2012-09-17 01:18:08 PM  

vudukungfu: Uhm. They already have nukes.
Delivery system? Fail safe? Not so much.


You should call the UN, let them know, the State Department and Israel, too, while you're at it...
 
2012-09-17 01:19:43 PM  
Turns out everyone is fear-fatigued and just don't respond to it any more. In fact, everyone is getting pretty annoyed with the people constantly shilling it around.
 
2012-09-17 01:23:06 PM  

theknuckler_33: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Pfft. Iran's so far away from that.

[www.marchionda.org image 500x435]
Approves


Dear god that was awful.

+1

/now to get that song out of my head...
 
2012-09-17 01:24:50 PM  
Four to six weeks away? Damn, that doesn't give ABC much time to promote it. They'll have to drop a show from their lineup (I suggest the horrid Bachelorette). Then they'll need to hire John Williams to compose a coverage theme as well as pull the ad guys back in to create new radio, TV and web spots. I mean, it can be done, but the Iraq war was prepped months in advance before March 2003.

I mean, for your sake ABC, wouldn't it have been better to say "Hey, the Iran war's gonna start in December! Or January!"

media.screened.com
 
2012-09-17 01:27:44 PM  

unlikely: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I know it *seems* too simple, but that's the beauty of the insidious plot.

If you weren't already TF I would sponsor you for that post.

As it is I'm just stealing it for next time my dad or my genius uncle forward me fwd fwd FWD FWD fwd about Obama, or post their usual herpaderp on facebook...


I've done this to rightwing relatives before...and they believed it. Tread lightly
 
2012-09-17 01:33:27 PM  
Once again, the libtard lamestream MSM media liberals go out of their way to minimize the threath of Iran...

encrypted-tbn2.google.com
 
2012-09-17 01:33:51 PM  

tudorgurl: Mr. Coffee Nerves: he will use that African clicking language to deliver a secret code to launch the newest kind of Iranian "Smart" Missile from those missile bases.

Ass...I just got a dirty look from my department chair.


This guy knows what it's like to be admonished by a chair...

7.mshcdn.com
 
2012-09-17 01:35:43 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: Once again, the libtard lamestream MSM media liberals go out of their way to minimize the threath of Iran...

[encrypted-tbn2.google.com image 275x183]


Bzzzzz. Wrong answer. Fox Family Feud says "15 people agree that it's the MSM liberal media's attempt at appearing balanced to keep true patriots from questioning them."
 
2012-09-17 01:39:53 PM  

tudorgurl: Mr. Coffee Nerves: he will use that African clicking language to deliver a secret code to launch the newest kind of Iranian "Smart" Missile from those missile bases.

Ass...I just got a dirty look from my department chair.


www.historycompany.com
Uptight old bastard.
 
2012-09-17 01:42:13 PM  
The press is so in the tank for 0bama it is pathetic.
 
2012-09-17 01:43:42 PM  
Iran is the new USSR? This will be a Cold Jihad?
 
2012-09-17 01:44:03 PM  

Philip Francis Queeg: Cyclometh: Philip Francis Queeg: If they are that close it's too late for military action to be able to stop them.

Even assuming they were that close, why would it be too late? Some big-ass bombs in the right place would set them back. The problem is not if they know how, but if they can produce the materials needed. The infrastructure necessary to make the components of a nuclear device can be relatively easily distupted.

If they are that close the materials are already fabricated and they are in the assembly and testing phase. The material would be dispersed to locations remote from the enrichment facilities.


While likely true, it's not easy to conceal launch facilities or the infrastructure necessary to run them.I don't think they're anywhere near the four to six weeks being bandied about, but if they were and it was necessary to stop them, it would not be impossible to do.
 
2012-09-17 01:45:10 PM  
Americans - people who don't think it is any of their business if their next-door neighbor has a basement full of machine guns, but who think it's entirely their business if a sovereign nation on the other side of the planet has weapons that a dozen other nations have.
 
Displayed 50 of 95 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report