FARK.com: (7330383) Special forces method for opening velcro without hearing it

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		Special forces method for opening velcro without hearing it (youtube.com)		63
		More: Amusing, paintballs

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12256 clicks; posted to Video » on 16 Sep 2012 at 5:24 PM | Favorite | share:

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Ed Finnerty		2012-09-16 04:21:58 PM

Is he expecting a call?

sithon		2012-09-16 04:34:14 PM

stupid

gopher321		2012-09-16 04:37:34 PM

Saw that coming a mile away.

One Bad Apple		2012-09-16 04:39:33 PM

It is way past time that the video tab went the way of the music tab

PacManDreaming		2012-09-16 05:03:25 PM

I thought he was gonna make farting noises to cover the Velcro sound.

Benevolent Misanthrope		2012-09-16 05:17:11 PM

Ed Finnerty: Is he expecting a call?

From his friend the Special Forces Ranger. Because he's Just. That. Bad. Ass. I mean, look at him. he's wearing an olive drab sweater. How could you doubt his badassery?

srtpointman		2012-09-16 05:27:45 PM

Come on. That was funny.

whatshisname		2012-09-16 05:30:10 PM

Couldn't he remove that retarded blue tooth gizmo from his ear for 45 seconds?

MisterTweak		2012-09-16 05:45:22 PM

Is it St. Patrick's day already?

MooseUpNorth		2012-09-16 05:45:35 PM

Okay, I laughed.

John Buck 41		2012-09-16 06:05:03 PM

Obscure? Christ, I hope not.

sno man		2012-09-16 06:05:50 PM

srtpointman: Come on. That was funny.

You gonna share some of what you are on?

sno man		2012-09-16 06:06:34 PM

MooseUpNorth: Okay, I laughed.

you too?

prjindigo		2012-09-16 06:27:52 PM

vaseline

TheHopeDiamond		2012-09-16 06:49:25 PM

Heh, I snickered.

Giltric		2012-09-16 06:55:42 PM

My Ranger friend...

Tabbed or scrolled?

Only one is an actual Ranger.

Dakai		2012-09-16 06:57:09 PM

sithon: stupid

Totally

Ianman		2012-09-16 07:20:36 PM

That is about as funny as the time me and a friend went down to the river and as soon as we got there

Benevolent Misanthrope		2012-09-16 07:40:12 PM

Giltric: My Ranger friend...

Tabbed or scrolled?

Only one is an actual Ranger.

True dat. It's the difference between passing Calculus and being a mathematician.

Chief_ Danz153A		2012-09-16 07:40:12 PM

Admittedly I found it hilarious, but then again, it will only truly be hilarious if you have ever had the delightful frustration of trying to use a standard-issue uniform *and* be tactical.

*sneak* --- *sneeeeeak* --- *sneeeaaakKRTKRTKRTKRTKRT!*

God d&^% *&$^#%ING VELCRO!

// shakes his fist at the uniform gods

Benevolent Misanthrope		2012-09-16 07:51:51 PM

Chief_ Danz153A: Admittedly I found it hilarious, but then again, it will only truly be hilarious if you have ever had the delightful frustration of trying to use a standard-issue uniform *and* be tactical.

*sneak* --- *sneeeeeak* --- *sneeeaaakKRTKRTKRTKRTKRT!*

God d&^% *&$^#%ING VELCRO!

// shakes his fist at the uniform gods

So, how do special ops/tactical people stay silent? Do they have special non-velcro, non click-buckle, non-noisy uniform bits?

stiletto2		2012-09-16 07:54:37 PM

From wikipedia: The US Army is another big user. It uses Velcro fasteners on combat uniforms to attach name tapes, rank insignia, shoulder pockets for unit patches, skill tabs, and recognition devices, such as the infrared (IR) feedback American flag. They also had a silent version of Velcro developed for use with Army soldier uniforms, as the ripping sound could betray a soldier's position. A new version was created which reduced the noise by over 95%. The manufacturing process to create this noiseless Velcro is, however, a military secret. So, wtf Rangers?

Doctor Jan Itor		2012-09-16 08:03:13 PM

Open it underwater.

Just duck tape it to yourself so you automatically make the noise when removing it.

RoyBatty		2012-09-16 08:11:19 PM

stiletto2: From wikipedia: The US Army is another big user. It uses Velcro fasteners on combat uniforms to attach name tapes, rank insignia, shoulder pockets for unit patches, skill tabs, and recognition devices, such as the infrared (IR) feedback American flag. They also had a silent version of Velcro developed for use with Army soldier uniforms, as the ripping sound could betray a soldier's position. A new version was created which reduced the noise by over 95%. The manufacturing process to create this noiseless Velcro is, however, a military secret. So, wtf Rangers?

According to wikileaks, in the 1960s, US Army had a black budget $5 billion dollar, Project Hook, to A) develop velcro, B) create acoustical velcro detectors, C) get the Chinese to ripoff velcro

RoyBatty		2012-09-16 08:12:08 PM

Even today, acoustical velcro detectors lie at the bottom of our oceans listening for "Soviet" now Russian and Chinese submarines.

Cymbals of the Illiterati		2012-09-16 08:46:38 PM

Unimpressed.

lokisbong		2012-09-16 09:12:54 PM

gopher321: Saw that coming a mile away.

I was expecting either a gunshot or an actual explosion.

Theaetetus		2012-09-16 09:24:27 PM

stiletto2: From wikipedia: The US Army is another big user. It uses Velcro fasteners on combat uniforms to attach name tapes, rank insignia, shoulder pockets for unit patches, skill tabs, and recognition devices, such as the infrared (IR) feedback American flag. They also totally, for realsies, had a silent version of Velcro developed for use with Army soldier uniforms. Because the ripping sound could betray a soldier's position. No, really, you guys, a new version was created which reduced the noise by over 95% with like quantum zero point energy and shiat. It involved nanotechology or grey goo or something. The manufacturing process to create this noiseless Velcro is, however, a military secret, and no one in the military ever reveals anything, which is why they've never gotten laid at a bar by bragging about their missions. So, wtf Rangers?

FTFY.

douchebag/hater		2012-09-16 09:53:09 PM

RoyBatty:

According to wikileaks, in the 1960s, US Army had a black budget $5 billion dollar, Project Hook, to A) develop velcro, B) create acoustical velcro detectors, C) get the Chinese to ripoff velcro

Well, what do you expect for Wikileaks?

Velcro was developed in Austria (I think) by a guy who noticed who plant burrs stuck to his dog's fur.

US military had nothing to do with.

As for a 'silent' Velcro? I doubt it.

The rangers do use velcro but they use an awful lot plain, old buttons, too; buttons don't make that scritching sound when you open a pocket.

Velcro is used on their insignias(sp) for when they want to remove name and rank tags, etc.

NewportBarGuy		2012-09-16 09:55:42 PM

I just want to know which f*cking idiot approved the ACUs which were covered in f*cking velcro.

Uisce Beatha		2012-09-16 10:00:45 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: So, how do special ops/tactical people stay silent? Do they have special non-velcro, non click-buckle, non-noisy uniform bits?

For the most part, they try and avoid the standard uniforms, and instead go with uniforms with buttons. Ranger Regiment is kinda screwed, in that they don't get as much leeway with their uniforms as SF or SEALs, so they do still have some velcro, but they do their best to minimize it.

falcon176		2012-09-16 10:01:21 PM

Sheamus's cloverleaf is uglier than Cena's STF

falcon176		2012-09-16 10:03:11 PM

like Cena Jr. is going to tap out

falcon176		2012-09-16 10:04:54 PM

lol I'm in the wrong thread fail also velcro

WestHamHooligan		2012-09-16 10:12:49 PM

if i find the subby, i'm gonna punch him in the ballsack for exactly 47 seconds just to justify that loss of my life...

Rusty Shackleford		2012-09-16 10:17:45 PM

Was waiting for "you cut off the enemy's ears with a big f*ckoff knife."

PsyLord		2012-09-16 10:29:43 PM

I think that gives it away a bit too much... maybe if I clucked like a chicken while ripping the velcro?

thisiszombocom		2012-09-16 11:15:07 PM

gopher321: Saw that coming a mile away.

fickenchucker		2012-09-16 11:22:19 PM

I laughed out loud on that one.

/Didn't see it coming as others have claimed.

KingVJ		2012-09-16 11:44:06 PM

Rusty Shackleford: Was waiting for "you cut off the enemy's ears with a big f*ckoff knife."

Okay. This sir is how it should be done.

sexy-fetus		2012-09-16 11:50:44 PM

WestHamHooligan: if i find the subby, i'm gonna punch him in the ballsack for exactly 47 seconds just to justify that loss of my life...

Hi there.

eventhelosers		2012-09-16 11:56:23 PM

i pull a string through it but I was just in the guard

TheMega		2012-09-17 12:10:19 AM

PacManDreaming: I thought he was gonna make farting noises to cover the Velcro sound.

I was expecting either a fart, a scream or a gun shot, too... At the end, with the "lean" I was betting on the fart for the last few seconds...

Gough		2012-09-17 12:50:06 AM

douchebag/hater: RoyBatty:

According to wikileaks, in the 1960s, US Army had a black budget $5 billion dollar, Project Hook, to A) develop velcro, B) create acoustical velcro detectors, C) get the Chinese to ripoff velcro

Well, what do you expect for Wikileaks?

Velcro was developed in Austria (I think) by a guy who noticed who plant burrs stuck to his dog's fur.

US military had nothing to do with.

As for a 'silent' Velcro? I doubt it.

The rangers do use velcro but they use an awful lot plain, old buttons, too; buttons don't make that scritching sound when you open a pocket.

Velcro is used on their insignias(sp) for when they want to remove name and rank tags, etc.

He was Swiss. Even though the patent has expired, Velcro is still trademarked. I've seen a lot of military folks take great pains to refer to "hook and loop" rather than Velcro.

no clever name here just move along		2012-09-17 12:54:34 AM

I was actually just talking about the concept of silent velcro today at work.

Silent Velcro would also make a great band name.

DeltaPunch		2012-09-17 01:01:56 AM

PacManDreaming: I thought he was gonna make farting noises to cover the Velcro sound.

Did you say something?

Nnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooo

stuffpoint.com

No.

*cough*

JeffMD		2012-09-17 03:38:52 AM

They make silent velcro.. its called a belt.

I saw this about 10 seconds before the end of the video... and was %99 sure of it when he worded it as not hearing the velcro. Yea my logistics classes have forever told me never to assume anything anymore.

Terrified Asexual Forcemeat		2012-09-17 04:35:29 AM

vvvvvvveeeelllllcccrrrooooooo

KrispyKritter		2012-09-17 06:21:42 AM

RoyBatty: stiletto2: From wikipedia: The US Army is another big user. It uses Velcro fasteners on combat uniforms to attach name tapes, rank insignia, shoulder pockets for unit patches, skill tabs, and recognition devices, such as the infrared (IR) feedback American flag. They also had a silent version of Velcro developed for use with Army soldier uniforms, as the ripping sound could betray a soldier's position. A new version was created which reduced the noise by over 95%. The manufacturing process to create this noiseless Velcro is, however, a military secret. So, wtf Rangers?

According to wikileaks, in the 1960s, US Army had a black budget $5 billion dollar, Project Hook, to A) develop velcro, B) create acoustical velcro detectors, C) get the Chinese to ripoff velcro

Velcro is a brand name. "Hook and Loop" is the invention of a man from Wayne NJ, in the 1970's. Nothing to do with military.