If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Telegraph)   Of all the ways to die, this has to be the shiattiest   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 106
    More: Sad, Nevin Spence, Ulster, second team, British troops  
•       •       •

25186 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Sep 2012 at 12:15 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



106 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-09-16 01:26:03 AM  
What a waste to go.
 
2012-09-16 01:26:40 AM  
There once was a dog at a sewage treatment plant.
He'd go with people on the tours.
The people loved him.
The plant workers loved him.
Then one day on a tour he jumped after something in the blending vat.

THAT is the shiattiest way to die.
 
2012-09-16 01:26:57 AM  
They don't wear gas masks.... why? Those people were up shiat creek without a paddle. I bet they don't have shiat eating grins anymore. There will probably be a shiatstorm over this. Etc etc
 
2012-09-16 01:39:52 AM  
That would really suck.
 
2012-09-16 01:42:58 AM  

prjindigo: There once was a dog at a sewage treatment plant.
He'd go with people on the tours.
The people loved him.
The plant workers loved him.
Then one day on a tour he jumped after something in the blending vat.

THAT is the shiattiest way to die.


that's the worst limerick I've ever read, did you even try?
 
2012-09-16 01:48:12 AM  

Spadababababababa Spadina Bus: kapaso: ArcadianRefugee: Lsherm: Someone explained this to me last year after another one of these accidents: slurry tanks produce hydrogen sulfide and in high concentrations, like you'd get right at the surface of the shiatwater, it's fatal in under a minute. Then someone gets close to try and rescue you, and they get poisoned. Repeat until you have a dead family.

Not that uncommon.

I have a hard time understanding how their is anyone left who works around those pits that is ignorant of the danger. I guess the desire to help immediately is very strong or maybe you think the person in trouble is having a medical problem unrelated to the environment.

I see that sort of ignorance every day.

You are supposed to test the air before going into a place that may have deadly gasses. You are supposed to wear a respirator if you do have to go in there. You are supposed to wear a safety harness, so that if you go down, somebody else can pull you back up.

I'm guessing these guys took the "fark all that noise, that's never gonna happen to me!" approach. Now they have paid for it.

/Works in Sewer & Watermain construction


On a farm the slurry pits are usually open air, but since the gas sits near the surface of the liquid, if you get close it knocks you out quick. Then, as I mentioned, someone else comes along to try to pull you out and they get hit, too.

I worked a sewer detail years ago to for a flow measuring project before a township was going to upgrade their 100+ year old sewer lines, and we had to use minimum two man crews and wait 15 minutes after pulling off a manhole cover before anyone was allowed down in the hole. The problem with farm slurry tanks is that they aren't contained, so people don't realize the danger of breathing in fumes from the top of what looks like a big above-ground pool full of shiatwater. But sure as shiat (get it?) - it will poison you.
 
2012-09-16 01:51:43 AM  

WordyGrrl: Remember kids: Jenkum kills.


That's what I was going to post, absolutely verbatim. We should totally smooch sometime.
 
2012-09-16 02:04:56 AM  
Remember kids, if it's organic, it's good for you!
 
2012-09-16 02:06:02 AM  

YouPeopleAreCrazy: An article, in a Brit newspaper/online site, linked on Fark.com of all places, about something that actually happened in Britain?


Nope; the people died in Ireland.
 
2012-09-16 02:17:48 AM  
I guess none of these people ever saw the safety film ""Apaches" Link goes to Guru Larry's hilarious review.. ( Well, "hilarious" if you like watching a bunch of gormless British farm children dying in horrible yet extremely avoidable ways.)

POOPALITY!!!!!
 
2012-09-16 02:20:45 AM  
Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
One less drunk.
Or 3 in this case.
 
2012-09-16 02:22:12 AM  
On a positive note, at least rugby isn't a real sport.
 
2012-09-16 02:28:30 AM  
Let me get this straight - they actually save s*h*i*t for later? That's both foul and creepy. They should've been institutionalized before they could harm themselves.
 
2012-09-16 02:34:58 AM  
Pat Catney, a Social Democratic and Labour Party councillor, said: "I'm shocked and devastated. It's another farming accident, and there are too many of them.

"Something has to be done to stop these accidents.


Darwin can't be reasoned with and he certainly can't be stopped. Idiocy can be fatal.
 
2012-09-16 02:37:11 AM  

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: CSB: My first job out of university was a power plant fueld with LFG (landfill gas 85% CH4). Anyway a few weeks before I started a new driver was hauling sludge or semi-solid human waste from the waste water treatment plant. When they put it into the landfill they dig a huge pit and empty it in, then bury it back with garbage. Well the driver had just started and opened the huge valve on the back of the tank without realizing what would happen. A giant wave of shiat pushed him into the hole and he was buried in shiat and only a boot was exposed. They had to use a big Cat D8 to pull him out with a rope around him since the suction was so bad. Needless to say, he died.

/got douched with landfill condensate once, puked for a day straight.


images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-09-16 02:42:35 AM  

JosephFinn: YouPeopleAreCrazy: An article, in a Brit newspaper/online site, linked on Fark.com of all places, about something that actually happened in Britain?

Nope; the people died in Ireland.


Northern Ireland.
 
2012-09-16 02:42:38 AM  

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: /got douched with landfill condensate once, puked for a day straight.


Why would you put that in your vagina? Was it a dare or something? Why did it make you puke?

I'm so confused.
 
2012-09-16 02:44:29 AM  

Spadababababababa Spadina Bus: kapaso: ArcadianRefugee: Lsherm: Someone explained this to me last year after another one of these accidents: slurry tanks produce hydrogen sulfide and in high concentrations, like you'd get right at the surface of the shiatwater, it's fatal in under a minute. Then someone gets close to try and rescue you, and they get poisoned. Repeat until you have a dead family.

Not that uncommon.

I have a hard time understanding how their is anyone left who works around those pits that is ignorant of the danger. I guess the desire to help immediately is very strong or maybe you think the person in trouble is having a medical problem unrelated to the environment.

I see that sort of ignorance every day.

You are supposed to test the air before going into a place that may have deadly gasses. You are supposed to wear a respirator if you do have to go in there. You are supposed to wear a safety harness, so that if you go down, somebody else can pull you back up.

I'm guessing these guys took the "fark all that noise, that's never gonna happen to me!" approach. Now they have paid for it.

/Works in Sewer & Watermain construction


As a person who has worked in telecom, we have a lot of "hidden" in-ground bunkers that act in the place of the old outdoor mini C.O. booths. These sub bunkers are supposed to be ventilated, but the truth is that there's a worthless vent pipe, and nothing else until you actually open the hatch, at which time a powered vent kicks in and is supposed to vent hazardous fumes and bring in surface air. This takes a few minutes, and more often than not, the sensor light is almost always red, and doesn't turn green until whatever gasses have cleared. Sometimes that little light never turns green. On days like that, I can't help but think back to the olden days when miners used canaries and/or warning lamps to tell when the air quality is... sub standard. If I ever do outdoor work again, I will be sure to bring along my dad's old antique safety lamp for just such an occasion, because people *have* been found dead in these things before.
 
2012-09-16 02:47:31 AM  
farm7.staticflickr.com">


They take it serious in these parts
 
2012-09-16 02:50:12 AM  

umad: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: /got douched with landfill condensate once, puked for a day straight.

Why would you put that in your vagina? Was it a dare or something? Why did it make you puke?

I'm so confused.


Douche as in the French word for "shower". The gas we used as fuel was very high in moisture from the decomposition process. As a result there were condensate traps throughout our fuel recovery system. One day we had an interruption in the fuel supply so me (as the FNG) got to open the lid to one of the tanks to see what was the problem. Next thing I know landfill water is spraying all over me and I got sick immediately. The smell... Well, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled in my life. I threw out my clothes and rode home in my hockey equipment (which thankfully was in my trunk). For the next day though I got horribly sick anytime I caught the scent in my nose. In fact I'm getting queasy just thinking about it.
 
2012-09-16 02:52:09 AM  

Guntram Shatterhand: The only way this would be worse is if it was pig shiat.

Cow shiat is foul, but pig shiat is possibly one of the worst things in the farking world.


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-09-16 02:55:35 AM  
Yeah we definitely got the front door good buddy. MERCY sakes alive! It looks like we got ourselves a CONVOY!!
 
2012-09-16 02:56:15 AM  
wrong thread, dammit. LMAO
 
2012-09-16 02:57:37 AM  
imageshack.us

For only a few dollars. Could be used to grill up some cow parts in the off-season.
 
2012-09-16 02:59:11 AM  

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: umad: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: /got douched with landfill condensate once, puked for a day straight.

Why would you put that in your vagina? Was it a dare or something? Why did it make you puke?

I'm so confused.

Douche as in the French word for "shower". The gas we used as fuel was very high in moisture from the decomposition process. As a result there were condensate traps throughout our fuel recovery system. One day we had an interruption in the fuel supply so me (as the FNG) got to open the lid to one of the tanks to see what was the problem. Next thing I know landfill water is spraying all over me and I got sick immediately. The smell... Well, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled in my life. I threw out my clothes and rode home in my hockey equipment (which thankfully was in my trunk). For the next day though I got horribly sick anytime I caught the scent in my nose. In fact I'm getting queasy just thinking about it.


It was a (not very good) joke.
 
2012-09-16 03:08:11 AM  

umad:


It was a (not very good) joke.


I had a hunch, but it's such a great story I felt like sharing. If you ever want to lose weight get a job at a landfill.
 
2012-09-16 03:28:08 AM  

TheHappyCanadian: prjindigo: There once was a dog at a sewage treatment plant.
He'd go with people on the tours.
The people loved him.
The plant workers loved him.
Then one day on a tour he jumped after something in the blending vat.

THAT is the shiattiest way to die.

that's the worst limerick I've ever read, did you even try?


I agree with TheHappyCanadian. This is horrible.
i618.photobucket.com

I'd submit it in the "worst found poem" category at the annual Bad Poetry Night party that I attend, but I doubt that it would get any laughs.
 
2012-09-16 03:29:01 AM  
In the US it's not uncommon for someone to be shot, in Europe it's not uncommon for someone to drown in shiat....apparently. I'll go with getting shot, I think, that's a tough one
 
2012-09-16 03:34:57 AM  

jeaux65: How awful. Poor family.


Yeah, it's kind of hard to even think about being funny. An entire family got wiped out.
 
2012-09-16 04:09:10 AM  

Contents Under Pressure: jeaux65: How awful. Poor family.

Yeah, it's kind of hard to even think about being funny. An entire family got wiped out.


FTA: Spence, 22, who was recently named in the Ireland international squad, was killed along with his brother and father on Saturday evening.
A fourth person, understood to be their sister, also fell into the tank and was taken to hospital where she was recovering from the effects of inhaling fumes.


The cows missed one.
THIS time...
 
2012-09-16 04:21:54 AM  

Buffet: Let me get this straight - they actually save s*h*i*t for later? That's both foul and creepy. They should've been institutionalized before they could harm themselves.


The nitrogen cycle; How does it work? ;)
 
2012-09-16 04:29:53 AM  
How does this happen, the same way This (NSFW> does, the wrecked tank was placarded but the deputy was so concerned with trying to help the victims he didn't realize what he was walking into
 
2012-09-16 04:41:45 AM  
When i got my occupational health and safety induction card, they mentioned the additional training and certification required for working in enclosed spaces. I thought it a bit odd at the time, but after looking at the material, it sure as hell looks like dangerous work. I always cringe when i see Mike Rowe do it on TV...
 
2012-09-16 04:55:43 AM  
There once was a man named McBride
Who fell in an outhouse and died.
His unfortunate brother
Fell into the other
And now they're interred side by side.
 
2012-09-16 04:56:45 AM  
The shiat Hits the Man.
 
2012-09-16 05:17:03 AM  
Seriously - not a Fortean reference yet??? Calling all Forteans : http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fortean-Times-Strange-Deaths-MagBook/dp/190777 9973

Do you really not know how many deaths per year are attributable to slurry, cabbage and money??
 
2012-09-16 05:41:35 AM  

smadge1: When i got my occupational health and safety induction card, they mentioned the additional training and certification required for working in enclosed spaces. I thought it a bit odd at the time, but after looking at the material, it sure as hell looks like dangerous work. I always cringe when i see Mike Rowe do it on TV...


It's also a problem in the Navy. Ships have large spaces called "voids" in them. They're usually irregular, empty, unlit spaces that exist because of the geometry of the ship, but are unused and supposed to be kept vacant. There's usually some kind of access to a void, and if you open it up you could be the first person to see the inside since the ship was built. Trouble is, there's no telling what gasses accumulated in there over the years and if it's colorless, odorless CO2...

You stick in your head to have a peek, conk out, flop through the hatch and suffocate at the bottom of the void. Your friend, thinking you just lost your balance, sticks his head in after you, and so on. We were told in training that a number of voids have claimed a stack of corpses this way, pitcher plant style. You need a "gas-free engineer" to open a void.
 
2012-09-16 07:37:01 AM  
Three men went to work one morning,
Being rugby players they were fit,
But bad fortune hit without warning,
They fell in a big tank of SHAVING CREAM Be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look keen.
 
2012-09-16 08:01:44 AM  

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: umad:


It was a (not very good) joke.

I had a hunch, but it's such a great story I felt like sharing. If you ever want to lose weight get a job at a landfill.


Sounds like a good summer internship for people in college.
 
2012-09-16 08:28:30 AM  

sobernutz: So, (puts on glasses) I guess he fell into some deep shiat.


No No No.........
So.......*puts on glasses..........Looks like this guy made the shiatlist.
YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
 
2012-09-16 08:44:21 AM  
s3.amazonaws.com
 
2012-09-16 08:47:37 AM  

Guntram Shatterhand: The only way this would be worse is if it was pig shiat.

Cow shiat is foul, but pig shiat is possibly one of the worst things in the farking world.


I have a buddy who works at a water treatment center for Smithfield Foods and he keeps trying to convince me to apply there whenever a spot opens up. It pays better than my current job which I don't even like at that, but I wouldn't want to deal with pig shiat on a daily basis (unless I really had to). Just being around the packaging plant alone makes me nauseous.
 
2012-09-16 09:00:39 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: Lsherm: Someone explained this to me last year after another one of these accidents: slurry tanks produce hydrogen sulfide and in high concentrations, like you'd get right at the surface of the shiatwater, it's fatal in under a minute. Then someone gets close to try and rescue you, and they get poisoned. Repeat until you have a dead family.

Not that uncommon.


In the first article with the most information, the line about the landscaper driving a lawnmower into a cesspool made me lose it. I can only imagine what his last thoughts were...

/probably "oh shiat"
 
2012-09-16 09:30:56 AM  

Anastacya: ArcadianRefugee: Lsherm: Someone explained this to me last year after another one of these accidents: slurry tanks produce hydrogen sulfide and in high concentrations, like you'd get right at the surface of the shiatwater, it's fatal in under a minute. Then someone gets close to try and rescue you, and they get poisoned. Repeat until you have a dead family.

Not that uncommon.

In the first article with the most information, the line about the landscaper driving a lawnmower into a cesspool made me lose it. I can only imagine what his last thoughts were...

/probably "oh shiat"

FTFY
 
2012-09-16 09:34:14 AM  

StoPPeRmobile: Anastacya: ArcadianRefugee: Lsherm: Someone explained this to me last year after another one of these accidents: slurry tanks produce hydrogen sulfide and in high concentrations, like you'd get right at the surface of the shiatwater, it's fatal in under a minute. Then someone gets close to try and rescue you, and they get poisoned. Repeat until you have a dead family.

Not that uncommon.

In the first article with the most information, the line about the landscaper driving a lawnmower into a cesspool made me lose it. I can only imagine what his last thoughts were...

/probably "oh shiat"
FTFY


I bow to your wit. Your fix made me laugh even harder.
 
2012-09-16 09:42:26 AM  

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: CSB: My first job out of university was a power plant fueld with LFG (landfill gas 85% CH4). Anyway a few weeks before I started a new driver was hauling sludge or semi-solid human waste from the waste water treatment plant. When they put it into the landfill they dig a huge pit and empty it in, then bury it back with garbage. Well the driver had just started and opened the huge valve on the back of the tank without realizing what would happen. A giant wave of shiat pushed him into the hole and he was buried in shiat and only a boot was exposed. They had to use a big Cat D8 to pull him out with a rope around him since the suction was so bad. Needless to say, he died.

/got douched with landfill condensate once, puked for a day straight.


If it is needless to say then please do not say it.
 
2012-09-16 09:45:45 AM  

Martman888: JosephFinn: YouPeopleAreCrazy: An article, in a Brit newspaper/online site, linked on Fark.com of all places, about something that actually happened in Britain?

Nope; the people died in Ireland.

Northern Ireland.


If you believe in Northern Ireland. Still, not Britain.
 
2012-09-16 12:14:01 PM  

kapaso: I guess the desire to help immediately is very strong


I'm guessing that, too. Especially a super talented athlete (I used to be a half-arse talented athlete) can think he can hold his breath long enough to save whoever is in there.
 
2012-09-16 06:19:36 PM  
There once was a farm with a pit
That was filled with dangerous shiat
In fell father and brother
And for good measure , another
Was it a professional hit?
 
2012-09-16 09:12:54 PM  

carnifex2005: Lsherm: Someone explained this to me last year after another one of these accidents: slurry tanks produce hydrogen sulfide and in high concentrations, like you'd get right at the surface of the shiatwater, it's fatal in under a minute. Then someone gets close to try and rescue you, and they get poisoned. Repeat until you have a dead family.

Yeah, this happened locally at a mushroom farm a few years ago. One person collapsed and died from those fumes. Two other co-workers then came to help and they died too. Two others came to see what was happening and they got irreversible brain damage.


That happened to me on mushrooms too.
 
Displayed 50 of 106 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report