If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Talking Points Memo)   Social conservatives cheer "ex-terrorist" who found Jesus. The fact that he's a well-known huckster who's not in fact an ex-terrorist doesn't seem to matter   (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) divider line 91
    More: Amusing, Values Voter Summit, social conservatives, PLO, Christian Broadcasting Network, local governments, Yasser Arafat, jihadists, Talking Points Memo  
•       •       •

2612 clicks; posted to Politics » on 15 Sep 2012 at 4:02 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



91 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-09-15 11:03:05 AM
god, these idiots will believe anything as long as it corroborates their views. faked obama kenyan birth certificates, onion stories reprinted as fact... anything.
 
2012-09-15 11:25:55 AM
Conservatives LOVE to be lied to.
 
2012-09-15 11:28:04 AM

Hollie Maea: Conservatives Religious people LOVE to be lied to.


You'd think it was a sacred duty or something.
 
2012-09-15 11:32:36 AM
This is a brilliant scam. Brilliant. And it takes advantage of exactly the right people, so nobody loses.

I am seriously jealous for not thinking of it first.
 
2012-09-15 11:37:24 AM
I can't wait until someone finds records that prove his name is really Frank Smith and he actually hails from Parsippany, NJ.
 
2012-09-15 11:41:10 AM

FlashHarry: god, these idiots will believe anything as long as it corroborates their views. faked obama kenyan birth certificates, onion stories reprinted as fact... anything.


"ex-gays", "ex-witches"...
 
2012-09-15 12:07:23 PM
Sounds like one of Walid Shoebat's pals.
 
2012-09-15 12:26:38 PM
Shame on me for thinking there was a limit to conservative stupidity.
 
2012-09-15 12:30:32 PM
Sweet 9/11 pin.

talkingpointsmemo.com
 
2012-09-15 12:32:55 PM
Gullible people are gullible.
 
2012-09-15 12:43:35 PM
And I'm an ex British spy who recently gave up his license to kill to start a new career knitting Jesus-on-the-cross cozies. This is the truth, or my name isn't Weedlord Bonerhitler.
 
2012-09-15 01:03:43 PM

gilgigamesh: This is a brilliant scam. Brilliant. And it takes advantage of exactly the right people, so nobody loses.

I am seriously jealous for not thinking of it first.


It's not like he did. It's just a new spin on Christine O'Donnell's "ex-witch" bullshiat.

Saying you were a good kid who was raised Christian, then became slightly more Christian as an adult doesn't get anybody attention.

Saying you were a Satan-worshipping witch and/or an Islamic terrorist who hated the baby Jesus, Hank Williams Jr. and Chick-Fil-A but now you love the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit of Dale Earnhardt? Congratulations, now you're a motivational speaker on the derp circuit.
 
2012-09-15 01:08:51 PM
Awesome. I can't wait to see the hilarity that will ensue.
 
2012-09-15 01:20:21 PM

gilgigamesh: I can't wait until someone finds records that prove his name is really Frank Smith and he actually hails from Parsippany, NJ.


Sagginsack.

NJ has cities with even more ridiculous names than that.
 
2012-09-15 01:30:07 PM

gilgigamesh: This is a brilliant scam. Brilliant. And it takes advantage of exactly the right people, so nobody loses.


Except, of course, the brown people caught in the witch hunts.
 
2012-09-15 01:33:46 PM

gilgigamesh: This is a brilliant scam. Brilliant. And it takes advantage of exactly the right people, so nobody loses.

I am seriously jealous for not thinking of it first.


I am considering starting a website that exploits Teabaggers' willful ignorance. Why should Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh get all their money??
 
2012-09-15 01:36:51 PM

gilgigamesh: This is a brilliant scam. Brilliant. And it takes advantage of exactly the right people, so nobody loses.

I am seriously jealous for not thinking of it first.


I don't know. Wouldn't you get bored of saying the same derp over and over?
 
2012-09-15 01:50:12 PM
I didn't even know Jesus was lost...
 
2012-09-15 01:50:33 PM
Is it just me, or does that picture look like it's from an SNL parody starring Tom Hanks?
 
2012-09-15 01:55:54 PM
I can't believe that a place as trustworthy and impartially-analytical as The Heritage Foundation would back something of this nature!
 
2012-09-15 02:24:58 PM
There are any number of doctoral theses waiting to be written on the marketing dynamics possible when you have a customer base which is required to hold as true things which are provably false.

I could be a f*cking billionaire if I didn't have this goddam conscience which actually causes me rather severe distress just thinking about lying to people with the knowledge that my lie will cause them harm. If I could get over that, I'd be Pat F*cking Robertson and Benny Goddam Hinn rolled up in one.
 
2012-09-15 02:25:03 PM
Let me get this straight: If I attended a party thrown by the Black Panthers 40 years ago, in 2012 I'd be accused of "palling around with terrorists." But if I actually was a terrorist, or would have you believe as much, I would be cheered as long as I mentioned Jesus and maybe tossed some flag pins into a crowd?

I propose we change schizophrenia in the DSM-IV to "Values Voter Disorder."
 
2012-09-15 02:34:01 PM

GAT_00: Gullible people are gullible.


now if we could just figure out how to make money off 'em....
 
2012-09-15 02:35:31 PM

dickfreckle: Let me get this straight: If I attended a party thrown by the Black Panthers 40 years ago, in 2012 I'd be accused of "palling around with terrorists." But if I actually was a terrorist, or would have you believe as much, I would be cheered as long as I mentioned Jesus and maybe tossed some flag pins into a crowd?

I propose we change schizophrenia in the DSM-IV to "Values Voter Disorder."


You're pretty close. Poor honest schmucks who get drummed out of the democratic rank-and-file for various past indiscretions often eke out a living trying to still support their causes. They'll probably get by, avoid actually having to beg, but they'll never have anything resembling a comfortable lifestyle.

Now, imagine they loudly renounced everything they stood for, and exhorted the masses at First Church of Bob to support their ministry to "bring enlightenment to the liberals", and expose their massive conspiracies to .. well, ACORN somethingsomething... you get the idea.

That's real money there. Granted, it requires them to be an actual sociopath, but it's pretty huge frigging money.
 
2012-09-15 02:38:41 PM

One Bad Apple: gilgigamesh: I can't wait until someone finds records that prove his name is really Frank Smith and he actually hails from Parsippany, NJ.

Sagginsack.

NJ has cities with even more ridiculous names than that.


Watchung, Orange, and my favorite: Cheesequake.

Mmmm, Cheesequake.
 
2012-09-15 02:40:12 PM

RexTalionis: One Bad Apple: gilgigamesh: I can't wait until someone finds records that prove his name is really Frank Smith and he actually hails from Parsippany, NJ.

Sagginsack.

NJ has cities with even more ridiculous names than that.

Watchung, Orange, and my favorite: Cheesequake.

Mmmm, Cheesequake.


I've spent the night at an RV park in Sopchoppy, FL.
 
2012-09-15 02:43:34 PM
he claims he went on to recruit new talent for the Muslim Brotherhood, study how to properly immigrate to Western countries and infiltrate them with jihadist propaganda, smuggle explosives for PLO leader Yasser Arafat, and run a Libyan terrorist training camp for Muammar Gaddafi - all before reaching adulthood.

Sounds totally legit.
 
2012-09-15 02:52:07 PM

RexTalionis: Cheesequake


I thought you were joking - a quick Google and now I know better.

/cheesequake park... hehehe
 
2012-09-15 03:33:44 PM

themindiswatching: gilgigamesh: This is a brilliant scam. Brilliant. And it takes advantage of exactly the right people, so nobody loses.

I am seriously jealous for not thinking of it first.

I don't know. Wouldn't you get bored of saying the same derp over and over?


Really? You're asking that on FARK?
 
2012-09-15 03:40:32 PM

miss diminutive: he claims he went on to recruit new talent for the Muslim Brotherhood, study how to properly immigrate to Western countries and infiltrate them with jihadist propaganda, smuggle explosives for PLO leader Yasser Arafat, and run a Libyan terrorist training camp for Muammar Gaddafi - all before reaching adulthood.

Sounds totally legit.


Hezbollah is Shia, and the Muslim Brotherhood is Sunni.

It's about as likely as someone from Northern Ireland running guns for both the Irish Republican Army and the Ulster Volunteer Force. Because they're both Christian groups, amirite?
 
2012-09-15 04:05:48 PM

namegoeshere: I didn't even know Jesus was lost...


He's everywhere. At the car wash, the construction sight, the orchards and fields...

/window seat, please
 
2012-09-15 04:05:58 PM
Why is Paul Ryan palling around with terrorists?
 
2012-09-15 04:10:01 PM

dickfreckle: Let me get this straight: If I attended a party thrown by the Black Panthers 40 years ago, in 2012 I'd be accused of "palling around with terrorists." But if I actually was a terrorist, or would have you believe as much, I would be cheered as long as I mentioned Jesus and maybe tossed some flag pins into a crowd?

I propose we change schizophrenia in the DSM-IV to "Values Voter Disorder."


In fact, if you even knew someone who MIGHT have been a Black Panther, you'd be irreparably tainted by your connection. Also, if that was in fact true--and you really did know a Black Panther, there is NO WAY you can ever shed that awful relationship. Nevermind that for 40 years you've never done or said anything remotely radical in your life.

BUT...if you PRETENDED you knew a Black Panther (and there's no actual evidence you did) and you tell a crowd of Klansmen that you saw the error of your ways because Jeezus appeared in a shaft of pure white light and told you not to consort with the Children of Ham...they'd eat that up with a spoon.
 
2012-09-15 04:16:25 PM

sweetmelissa31: Sweet 9/11 pin.

[talkingpointsmemo.com image 652x360]


It's James Carville w/ a wig! Watch out Republicans! It's a trap!!!
 
2012-09-15 04:17:41 PM
Don't be so hard on the guy, we all have our crosses to bear.
 
2012-09-15 04:18:20 PM

Gyrfalcon: dickfreckle: Let me get this straight: If I attended a party thrown by the Black Panthers 40 years ago, in 2012 I'd be accused of "palling around with terrorists." But if I actually was a terrorist, or would have you believe as much, I would be cheered as long as I mentioned Jesus and maybe tossed some flag pins into a crowd?

I propose we change schizophrenia in the DSM-IV to "Values Voter Disorder."

In fact, if you even knew someone who MIGHT have been a Black Panther, you'd be irreparably tainted by your connection. Also, if that was in fact true--and you really did know a Black Panther, there is NO WAY you can ever shed that awful relationship. Nevermind that for 40 years you've never done or said anything remotely radical in your life.

BUT...if you PRETENDED you knew a Black Panther (and there's no actual evidence you did) and you tell a crowd of Klansmen that you saw the error of your ways because Jeezus appeared in a shaft of pure white light and told you not to consort with the Children of Ham...they'd eat that up with a spoon.


There's another element to it, though. It's not enough to just say you've found Jesus and seen the error of your terrorizin' ways. You also have to confirm their belief that the terroristic Islamo-muslins are gathering to destroy your Christian-American way of life. Maybe throw in something about al Qaeda and Saddam conspiring with Barak bin Obama to abort white Christian babies and use the dead fetuses as shrapnel in suicide vests.
 
2012-09-15 04:19:33 PM

namegoeshere: I didn't even know Jesus was lost...


It turns out, he's been behind the couch the whole time...
 
2012-09-15 04:20:20 PM

propasaurus: Gyrfalcon: dickfreckle: Let me get this straight: If I attended a party thrown by the Black Panthers 40 years ago, in 2012 I'd be accused of "palling around with terrorists." But if I actually was a terrorist, or would have you believe as much, I would be cheered as long as I mentioned Jesus and maybe tossed some flag pins into a crowd?

I propose we change schizophrenia in the DSM-IV to "Values Voter Disorder."

In fact, if you even knew someone who MIGHT have been a Black Panther, you'd be irreparably tainted by your connection. Also, if that was in fact true--and you really did know a Black Panther, there is NO WAY you can ever shed that awful relationship. Nevermind that for 40 years you've never done or said anything remotely radical in your life.

BUT...if you PRETENDED you knew a Black Panther (and there's no actual evidence you did) and you tell a crowd of Klansmen that you saw the error of your ways because Jeezus appeared in a shaft of pure white light and told you not to consort with the Children of Ham...they'd eat that up with a spoon.

There's another element to it, though. It's not enough to just say you've found Jesus and seen the error of your terrorizin' ways. You also have to confirm their belief that the terroristic Islamo-muslins are gathering to destroy your Christian-American way of life. Maybe throw in something about al Qaeda and Saddam conspiring with Barak bin Obama to abort white Christian babies and use the dead fetuses as shrapnel in suicide vests.


Well, you tailor your salvation to the audience you're pandering to.
 
2012-09-15 04:22:07 PM
I am totally flabbergasted that the Right is inventing something completely with no backup story. I mean this only happens on the movies, right? I'm sure the fact that this guy spent over 10 years at CHristian fundamentalist organizations is just made up by the "Lame Stream Media", using Obama's time machine.
 
2012-09-15 04:23:03 PM
I was the one who killed Bin Laden and I'll tell you all about it for a reasonable speaking fee.
 
2012-09-15 04:25:02 PM
Since when have hucksters NOT had a lock on social conservatives?

www.jesus-is-savior.com
graphics8.nytimes.com
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-09-15 04:28:27 PM

namegoeshere: I didn't even know Jesus was lost...


He was just out there cutting my lawn, let me check.
 
2012-09-15 04:31:37 PM
Hate sells.
 
2012-09-15 04:31:58 PM
What is it with religious groups and self-proclaimed ex-terrorists? When I was little, this would have been back in the '80s, my church had some "ex-PLO terrorists" come and speak about how they used to be all terroristy and then thanks to their American handler who was parading them around to churches they saw the light and had a dramatic conversion story. Only they didn't actually say that they DID anything terrorist, at least as far as I can remember though I could be wrong since I was probably no older than 8 at the time.

I especially love Ergun Caner, the now disgraced former seminary dean at Liberty University, who ran around claiming that he grew up in a radical Islamist family until people found his parents' divorce and custody agreement stuff and figured out the only thing that was true was that his dad was Muslim, he was actually raised Catholic by his mother.
 
2012-09-15 04:33:19 PM
So, he's one of the few people there who's not a terrorist?
 
2012-09-15 04:35:21 PM
Who the fark would believe this sh-- "But the crowd ate it up at the Value Voters Summit, which featured such speakers as Paul Ryan and a video message from Mitt Romney..."


Oh, never mind.
 
2012-09-15 04:36:09 PM
Soon to be replaced with a Bling Dynasty doorstop.

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-09-15 04:36:40 PM
For one, Mother Jones reports Saleem, real name Khodor Shami, spent over a decade before his "ex-terrorist" act as a staffer at Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network and James Dobson's Focus on the Family.

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-09-15 04:38:02 PM
Whoa. How wrong thread?
 
2012-09-15 04:39:28 PM

whatsupchuck: Soon to be replaced with a Bling Dynasty doorstop.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 339x291]


We're talking about "values voters." You know, the Glenn Beck Goldline crowd. So it still works. Possibly better than in the intended thread!
 
Displayed 50 of 91 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report