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(Alaska Dispatch News)   What a lifetime of bad choices looks like (with awesome sentencing photos)   (adn.com) divider line 22
    More: Interesting, hillsides, attempted murder  
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25982 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Sep 2012 at 6:20 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-09-15 09:29:33 AM  
3 votes:
What a beautifully crafted work of art that looks like it belongs on its owner looks like:
www.ingramimages.com
(From my photography website)
See the difference?
2012-09-15 07:30:23 AM  
3 votes:

some_beer_drinker: Bathia_Mapes: batcookie: From what I can tell, he has a bionic eye. When cyborgs become heroin addicts, we're really farked.

I interpreted that as him having a tattooed eyeball. That alone creeps the f*ck out of me.

is that better or worse than a tattooed asshole?


That is a tattooed asshole.
2012-09-15 08:11:29 AM  
2 votes:
Lot of tattooed people getting preemptively defensive here.
2012-09-15 07:40:22 AM  
2 votes:

Vtimlin: some_beer_drinker: Bathia_Mapes: batcookie: From what I can tell, he has a bionic eye. When cyborgs become heroin addicts, we're really farked.

I interpreted that as him having a tattooed eyeball. That alone creeps the f*ck out of me.

is that better or worse than a tattooed asshole?

That is a tattooed asshole.


Has an asshole tattoo
bodyartfun.com

Is a tattooed asshole
matchbin-assets.s3.amazonaws.com 

Any questions?
2012-09-15 07:34:37 AM  
2 votes:
Pictures of guys like that are the reason I could never be a criminal. Just the thought of sharing a jail cell with that creature is enough to keep me on the straight and narrow.
2012-09-15 06:37:15 AM  
2 votes:
Nothing like a criminal who gets himself tattooed in a way that helps identify him to law enforcement. Way to think things through, Moriarty.
2012-09-15 05:29:00 AM  
2 votes:

WhyteRaven74: AbbeySomeone: What happens to a person that makes them think getting a tat on your asshole, face or goddamn eye is a good idea?

To be fair there are a few cultures were facial tattoos are not only acceptable but pretty normal, the Maori of New Zealand come to mind.


But for those cultures, it's highly ritualized and an earned rite of passage, like doglover said. This guy's just a douche who likes to take things that aren't his.
2012-09-15 11:35:55 AM  
1 votes:
I for one am happy people like this choose to do stupid things with tattoos. It lets me know who they are and what they are about without ever giving them the chance to interact with me.
2012-09-15 10:57:05 AM  
1 votes:
media.adn.com

Note To Self:

If pursuing a life of crime, try to maintain an 'everyman' appearance so it's not so easy to be identified.
2012-09-15 10:48:39 AM  
1 votes:

sonofslacker: This is something I've been wondering about for some time, what kind of job does someone like the brother (all the tats) have that allows him to live that way? Can you get a job that allows you to maintain some sort of living beyond sleeping on couches every night? Serious questions. to each their own but I don't get the whole full body tattoo / piercing lifestyle (why? for the attention?) and how one would hold down a job with a steady paycheck to continue the lifestyle (tats are not cheap).


Circus freak? Punk band?

I have no tats or piercings, but if I wanted to, I could be just as freaky looking as him, and still remain gainfully employed... I'm a computer programmer, and I work from home fulltime... No one at work ever sees me, so it makes absolutely no difference how I look... (Of course, getting hired initially might present a problem at some places, still...)
2012-09-15 10:12:21 AM  
1 votes:

ongbok: In one 2004 case, Barnum was spotted walking out from behind a garage wearing a white hard hat. When the homeowner confronted him, Barnum mumbled that he was looking for a light pole, according to a police complaint. The homeowner went inside to find his house ransacked.


You know he would have probably gotten away Scott free with that because the homeowner may not have even noticed him, and if he did and still confronted him, he probably wouldn't be able to give the police a description of him if he didn't look like this



Seriously people, if you are going to choose a life of crime here are a few tips. First don't have any tattoos that are on your face, head or any other area of your body that is exposed and people can see them. Don't have any crazy hairstyles. If you are a man avoid having longhair or dreadlocks, and whether you are male or female don't have crazy colored hair. Don't have any crazy facial piercings. And last, when you commit your crimes be dressed as plain as possible, don't wear anything that will cause you to stick out.


Even better, be totally ordinary looking, but when committing crimes add a large and obvious bandaid to your face. Remove the bandaid afterward. When witnesses try to describe you, that will be all they can remember about you.

A serial rapist famously did exactly that a while ago, and the rape rape victims usually couldn't come up with any other facial features.
2012-09-15 08:06:27 AM  
1 votes:
I think his bigger crime is the fact that he's a ginger

/they have no souls y'know
2012-09-15 08:04:49 AM  
1 votes:

ongbok: In one 2004 case, Barnum was spotted walking out from behind a garage wearing a white hard hat. When the homeowner confronted him, Barnum mumbled that he was looking for a light pole, according to a police complaint. The homeowner went inside to find his house ransacked.


You know he would have probably gotten away Scott free with that because the homeowner may not have even noticed him, and if he did and still confronted him, he probably wouldn't be able to give the police a description of him if he didn't look like this

[matchbin-assets.s3.amazonaws.com image 512x341]

Seriously people, if you are going to choose a life of crime here are a few tips. First don't have any tattoos that are on your face, head or any other area of your body that is exposed and people can see them. Don't have any crazy hairstyles. If you are a man avoid having longhair or dreadlocks, and whether you are male or female don't have crazy colored hair. Don't have any crazy facial piercings. And last, when you commit your crimes be dressed as plain as possible, don't wear anything that will cause you to stick out.


This.

This is why your more successful American ninjas are slightly overweight and wear fannypacks...to blend in.
2012-09-15 07:47:52 AM  
1 votes:

eyehate: Are you enraged because he is a criminal or because he chose to express himself by inking his face?


Sorry, but not all forms of expression are equally, unless you're trying to express the fact that you can't be expected to live within even the most basic social norms and should therefore not be trusted to put fries in the deep fryer at Wendy's.

Then, facial tattoos say that quite nicely.
2012-09-15 07:38:14 AM  
1 votes:
cdn-i.dmdentertainment.com
2012-09-15 07:13:56 AM  
1 votes:

eyehate: Queue the Fark anti-tattoo brigade.


I didn't know that there was one. But judging from your comment, I'm going to guess that you have a LOT of tattoos and a huge inferiority complex...?
2012-09-15 06:50:48 AM  
1 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: eyehate: And you do not need to be Maori to ink your mug, by the way.

Quite true.

[asset.ourstage.com image 600x800]

This is my boss's twin brother. He's kinda freaky and is into stuff like suspensions. He & his brother front a local punk rock band called Pistol Whipped Prophets. He got married recently & his wife has absolutely no tattoos whatsoever. Opposites attracts I guess.


[asset.ourstage.com image 300x538]

This is my boss. Despite his appearance he's a really sweet, gentle guy.


Damn, that's your boss? Must be nice to have some eye candy at work...
2012-09-15 06:43:13 AM  
1 votes:
On the bright side, he's likely to own a respectable share of personal space in prison. I'd let him walk over my feet rather than take a chance on coming in contact with his... fluids.

And even among the fearless he's bound to have low value as a prison biatch. Sometimes ugly pays off.
2012-09-15 06:41:50 AM  
1 votes:
In one 2004 case, Barnum was spotted walking out from behind a garage wearing a white hard hat. When the homeowner confronted him, Barnum mumbled that he was looking for a light pole, according to a police complaint. The homeowner went inside to find his house ransacked.


You know he would have probably gotten away Scott free with that because the homeowner may not have even noticed him, and if he did and still confronted him, he probably wouldn't be able to give the police a description of him if he didn't look like this

matchbin-assets.s3.amazonaws.com

Seriously people, if you are going to choose a life of crime here are a few tips. First don't have any tattoos that are on your face, head or any other area of your body that is exposed and people can see them. Don't have any crazy hairstyles. If you are a man avoid having longhair or dreadlocks, and whether you are male or female don't have crazy colored hair. Don't have any crazy facial piercings. And last, when you commit your crimes be dressed as plain as possible, don't wear anything that will cause you to stick out.
2012-09-15 05:26:28 AM  
1 votes:

WhyteRaven74: AbbeySomeone: What happens to a person that makes them think getting a tat on your asshole, face or goddamn eye is a good idea?

To be fair there are a few cultures were facial tattoos are not only acceptable but pretty normal, the Maori of New Zealand come to mind.


He doesn't really look Maori but perhaps it's just the lighting.
2012-09-15 05:17:08 AM  
1 votes:
The saddest part is people like this invariably have at least 2 offspring.
2012-09-15 04:41:06 AM  
1 votes:

eyehate: Queue the Fark anti-tattoo brigade.

He should have found a better artist, though.


I'm pro tattoo.

But when you get a skull facial tat? No thanks. Unless you're a soldier in some anachronistic warrior tribe who hack one another to pieces extra legally (like gang members and vikings) you don't need a facial tat. If you are such a person, you'll probably only need/earn that facial tat in jail.
 
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