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(Anchorage Daily News)   What a lifetime of bad choices looks like (with awesome sentencing photos)   (adn.com) divider line 102
    More: Interesting, hillsides, attempted murder  
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25845 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Sep 2012 at 6:20 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-15 04:12:53 AM
From what I can tell, he has a bionic eye. When cyborgs become heroin addicts, we're really farked.
 
2012-09-15 04:27:19 AM

batcookie: From what I can tell, he has a bionic eye. When cyborgs become heroin addicts, we're really farked.


I interpreted that as him having a tattooed eyeball. That alone creeps the f*ck out of me.
 
2012-09-15 04:32:18 AM
Queue the Fark anti-tattoo brigade.

He should have found a better artist, though.
 
2012-09-15 04:41:06 AM

eyehate: Queue the Fark anti-tattoo brigade.

He should have found a better artist, though.


I'm pro tattoo.

But when you get a skull facial tat? No thanks. Unless you're a soldier in some anachronistic warrior tribe who hack one another to pieces extra legally (like gang members and vikings) you don't need a facial tat. If you are such a person, you'll probably only need/earn that facial tat in jail.
 
2012-09-15 04:52:35 AM

Bathia_Mapes: batcookie: From what I can tell, he has a bionic eye. When cyborgs become heroin addicts, we're really farked.

I interpreted that as him having a tattooed eyeball. That alone creeps the f*ck out of me.


is that better or worse than a tattooed asshole?
 
2012-09-15 04:54:41 AM
Aww his one non-retarded eye looks like it has a sea of melancholy just beneath the puerile anger and blood lust.
 
2012-09-15 04:56:24 AM

some_beer_drinker: Bathia_Mapes: batcookie: From what I can tell, he has a bionic eye. When cyborgs become heroin addicts, we're really farked.

I interpreted that as him having a tattooed eyeball. That alone creeps the f*ck out of me.

is that better or worse than a tattooed asshole?


To me, worse. The very thought of having needles stuck in your eye repeatedly just freaks me out.
 
2012-09-15 05:07:11 AM
Described by police as a "serial burglar," Barnum spent most of the past decade in prison on burglary and forgery convictions.

Oh, I guess he did earn the tats.
 
2012-09-15 05:09:37 AM

Bathia_Mapes: some_beer_drinker: Bathia_Mapes: batcookie: From what I can tell, he has a bionic eye. When cyborgs become heroin addicts, we're really farked.

I interpreted that as him having a tattooed eyeball. That alone creeps the f*ck out of me.

is that better or worse than a tattooed asshole?

To me, worse. The very thought of having needles stuck in your eye repeatedly just freaks me out.


Then you'd hate the movie Audition
 
2012-09-15 05:12:26 AM

Bathia_Mapes: some_beer_drinker: Bathia_Mapes: batcookie: From what I can tell, he has a bionic eye. When cyborgs become heroin addicts, we're really farked.

I interpreted that as him having a tattooed eyeball. That alone creeps the f*ck out of me.

is that better or worse than a tattooed asshole?

To me, worse. The very thought of having needles stuck in your eye repeatedly just freaks me out.


What happens to a person that makes them think getting a tat on your asshole, face or goddamn eye is a good idea?
 
2012-09-15 05:17:08 AM
The saddest part is people like this invariably have at least 2 offspring.
 
2012-09-15 05:23:03 AM

AbbeySomeone: What happens to a person that makes them think getting a tat on your asshole, face or goddamn eye is a good idea?


To be fair there are a few cultures were facial tattoos are not only acceptable but pretty normal, the Maori of New Zealand come to mind.
 
2012-09-15 05:26:28 AM

WhyteRaven74: AbbeySomeone: What happens to a person that makes them think getting a tat on your asshole, face or goddamn eye is a good idea?

To be fair there are a few cultures were facial tattoos are not only acceptable but pretty normal, the Maori of New Zealand come to mind.


He doesn't really look Maori but perhaps it's just the lighting.
 
2012-09-15 05:29:00 AM

WhyteRaven74: AbbeySomeone: What happens to a person that makes them think getting a tat on your asshole, face or goddamn eye is a good idea?

To be fair there are a few cultures were facial tattoos are not only acceptable but pretty normal, the Maori of New Zealand come to mind.


But for those cultures, it's highly ritualized and an earned rite of passage, like doglover said. This guy's just a douche who likes to take things that aren't his.
 
2012-09-15 05:33:05 AM

AbbeySomeone: WhyteRaven74: AbbeySomeone: What happens to a person that makes them think getting a tat on your asshole, face or goddamn eye is a good idea?

To be fair there are a few cultures were facial tattoos are not only acceptable but pretty normal, the Maori of New Zealand come to mind.

He doesn't really look Maori but perhaps it's just the lighting.


Hehe.

Are you enraged because he is a criminal or because he chose to express himself by inking his face?

And you do not need to be Maori to ink your mug, by the way.
 
2012-09-15 05:38:11 AM

batcookie: Bathia_Mapes: some_beer_drinker: Bathia_Mapes: batcookie: From what I can tell, he has a bionic eye. When cyborgs become heroin addicts, we're really farked.

I interpreted that as him having a tattooed eyeball. That alone creeps the f*ck out of me.

is that better or worse than a tattooed asshole?

To me, worse. The very thought of having needles stuck in your eye repeatedly just freaks me out.

Then you'd hate the movie Audition


I've seen it. It's one of the few Takashi Miike movies I've watched once, then never again. And I'm a Takashi Miike fan.
 
2012-09-15 05:41:16 AM

AbbeySomeone: Bathia_Mapes: some_beer_drinker: Bathia_Mapes: batcookie: From what I can tell, he has a bionic eye. When cyborgs become heroin addicts, we're really farked.

I interpreted that as him having a tattooed eyeball. That alone creeps the f*ck out of me.

is that better or worse than a tattooed asshole?

To me, worse. The very thought of having needles stuck in your eye repeatedly just freaks me out.

What happens to a person that makes them think getting a tat on your asshole, face or goddamn eye is a good idea?


Beats the hell out of me and I have no problems with most tattoos. Hell, my son has tattoos. So does my boss, for that matter.
 
2012-09-15 05:46:28 AM

Bathia_Mapes: batcookie: Bathia_Mapes: some_beer_drinker: Bathia_Mapes: batcookie: From what I can tell, he has a bionic eye. When cyborgs become heroin addicts, we're really farked.

I interpreted that as him having a tattooed eyeball. That alone creeps the f*ck out of me.

is that better or worse than a tattooed asshole?

To me, worse. The very thought of having needles stuck in your eye repeatedly just freaks me out.

Then you'd hate the movie Audition

I've seen it. It's one of the few Takashi Miike movies I've watched once, then never again. And I'm a Takashi Miike fan.


Haha I love that movie... though the scene with the bag moving while she's waiting by the phone still catches me off guard and makes me jump at times.
 
2012-09-15 05:58:21 AM

eyehate: And you do not need to be Maori to ink your mug, by the way.


Quite true.

asset.ourstage.com

This is my boss's twin brother. He's kinda freaky and is into stuff like suspensions. He & his brother front a local punk rock band called Pistol Whipped Prophets. He got married recently & his wife has absolutely no tattoos whatsoever. Opposites attracts I guess.


asset.ourstage.com

This is my boss. Despite his appearance he's a really sweet, gentle guy.
 
2012-09-15 06:08:57 AM
Bathia_Mapes, awesome.
 
2012-09-15 06:26:49 AM
lol, another reason why the future is farked.

/zombie apocalypse ftw
 
2012-09-15 06:30:23 AM
Well, he at least has the good sense to have his seatbelt on. Even though he's not in a car.
 
2012-09-15 06:37:15 AM
Nothing like a criminal who gets himself tattooed in a way that helps identify him to law enforcement. Way to think things through, Moriarty.
 
2012-09-15 06:38:53 AM

eyehate: Queue the Fark anti-tattoo brigade.


Can I cue the anti-"using queue to mean cue" brigade? Quool.
 
2012-09-15 06:40:05 AM

AbbeySomeone: The saddest part is people like this invariably have at least 2 offspring

that they know of.

ftfy
 
2012-09-15 06:40:29 AM
media.adn.com
"Where is Sarah Conner?"
 
2012-09-15 06:41:31 AM
I'd love to meet his parents
 
2012-09-15 06:41:34 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: eyehate: Queue the Fark anti-tattoo brigade.

Can I cue the anti-"using queue to mean cue" brigade? Quool.


yes, unless they queue in which case, no.
 
2012-09-15 06:41:50 AM
In one 2004 case, Barnum was spotted walking out from behind a garage wearing a white hard hat. When the homeowner confronted him, Barnum mumbled that he was looking for a light pole, according to a police complaint. The homeowner went inside to find his house ransacked.


You know he would have probably gotten away Scott free with that because the homeowner may not have even noticed him, and if he did and still confronted him, he probably wouldn't be able to give the police a description of him if he didn't look like this

matchbin-assets.s3.amazonaws.com

Seriously people, if you are going to choose a life of crime here are a few tips. First don't have any tattoos that are on your face, head or any other area of your body that is exposed and people can see them. Don't have any crazy hairstyles. If you are a man avoid having longhair or dreadlocks, and whether you are male or female don't have crazy colored hair. Don't have any crazy facial piercings. And last, when you commit your crimes be dressed as plain as possible, don't wear anything that will cause you to stick out.
 
2012-09-15 06:43:13 AM
On the bright side, he's likely to own a respectable share of personal space in prison. I'd let him walk over my feet rather than take a chance on coming in contact with his... fluids.

And even among the fearless he's bound to have low value as a prison biatch. Sometimes ugly pays off.
 
2012-09-15 06:45:58 AM

ShannonKW:
And even among the fearless he's bound to have low value as a prison biatch. Sometimes ugly pays off./i>

Maybe not. It might be like chubby chasers, but with ugly tattooed guys. There's always someone willing to take the scraps no one else wants.

 
2012-09-15 06:50:48 AM

Bathia_Mapes: eyehate: And you do not need to be Maori to ink your mug, by the way.

Quite true.

[asset.ourstage.com image 600x800]

This is my boss's twin brother. He's kinda freaky and is into stuff like suspensions. He & his brother front a local punk rock band called Pistol Whipped Prophets. He got married recently & his wife has absolutely no tattoos whatsoever. Opposites attracts I guess.


[asset.ourstage.com image 300x538]

This is my boss. Despite his appearance he's a really sweet, gentle guy.


Damn, that's your boss? Must be nice to have some eye candy at work...
 
2012-09-15 07:00:15 AM
your wearing the seat belt too close to your head. if there was an accident, you'll decapitate yourself!!
 
2012-09-15 07:05:44 AM
Is he from the future ?
 
2012-09-15 07:11:56 AM
Wasn't this supposed to be a story about a murder hearing? Why did they layout the photos like it was some kind of tattoo fashion show?
 
2012-09-15 07:13:56 AM

eyehate: Queue the Fark anti-tattoo brigade.


I didn't know that there was one. But judging from your comment, I'm going to guess that you have a LOT of tattoos and a huge inferiority complex...?
 
2012-09-15 07:14:02 AM
The best part about his tats is that he can blend in with the crowd after committing a crime.

/like a permanent Nixon mask
 
2012-09-15 07:15:17 AM
How did they pick him out of a lineup? DNRTFA
 
2012-09-15 07:24:18 AM

flup: Wasn't this supposed to be a story about a murder hearing? Why did they layout the photos like it was some kind of tattoo fashion show?


I don't know, but if I were sitting front of photoshop someone would have a pretty orange dress on. And a seatbelt, I guess. Whatever.
 
2012-09-15 07:30:23 AM

some_beer_drinker: Bathia_Mapes: batcookie: From what I can tell, he has a bionic eye. When cyborgs become heroin addicts, we're really farked.

I interpreted that as him having a tattooed eyeball. That alone creeps the f*ck out of me.

is that better or worse than a tattooed asshole?


That is a tattooed asshole.
 
2012-09-15 07:34:37 AM
Pictures of guys like that are the reason I could never be a criminal. Just the thought of sharing a jail cell with that creature is enough to keep me on the straight and narrow.
 
2012-09-15 07:38:14 AM
cdn-i.dmdentertainment.com
 
2012-09-15 07:38:16 AM

8ace: I'd love to meet his parents


I'd love to meet his tailor.

/ah-oooo!
 
2012-09-15 07:40:22 AM

Vtimlin: some_beer_drinker: Bathia_Mapes: batcookie: From what I can tell, he has a bionic eye. When cyborgs become heroin addicts, we're really farked.

I interpreted that as him having a tattooed eyeball. That alone creeps the f*ck out of me.

is that better or worse than a tattooed asshole?

That is a tattooed asshole.


Has an asshole tattoo
bodyartfun.com

Is a tattooed asshole
matchbin-assets.s3.amazonaws.com 

Any questions?
 
2012-09-15 07:46:50 AM
I'm here to join the anti-"needles stuck in my eye" brigade.

Where do I queue, on cue?
 
2012-09-15 07:47:52 AM

eyehate: Are you enraged because he is a criminal or because he chose to express himself by inking his face?


Sorry, but not all forms of expression are equally, unless you're trying to express the fact that you can't be expected to live within even the most basic social norms and should therefore not be trusted to put fries in the deep fryer at Wendy's.

Then, facial tattoos say that quite nicely.
 
2012-09-15 07:48:22 AM
His mistake was commiting a gun crime.
If he stuck to normal burglary, forgery, assault and whatever else he was doing, he could have had a long career on the street.

/Who am I kidding, he'll probably be out in two or three years.
 
2012-09-15 07:51:17 AM
OK, seriously, what's the deal with the eyeball? Creeps me the fark out.
 
2012-09-15 07:54:02 AM
"One officer was lightly injured in the gunfire..."
My hero.
 
2012-09-15 07:57:01 AM

dready zim: [media.adn.com image 240x164]
"Where is Sarah Conner?"


"I'll be Bach." Begins to conduct the orchestra.
 
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