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(DFW Star-Telegram)   Taser vs. samurai sword. GO   (blogs.star-telegram.com) divider line 29
    More: Amusing, Taser, samurai sword, samurai  
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6341 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Sep 2012 at 1:11 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



29 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-09-15 12:58:56 AM  
THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE! FIGHT!

www.hipstertravelguide.com

TASER WINS. PANTS PISSING-ALITY.
 
2012-09-15 01:14:42 AM  
Flea Market + stupid person = I am a proud owner a samurai sword
 
2012-09-15 01:18:57 AM  
Li Mu Bai is not happy.
 
2012-09-15 01:20:16 AM  
Oh meth!

/you rascal
 
2012-09-15 01:24:32 AM  

billwill: Flea Market + stupid person = I am a proud owner a samurai sword


So you're saying it probably wasnt an actual samurai the cops took down?

This incident has taught us nothing then.
 
2012-09-15 01:28:32 AM  
Someone didn't see Indiana Jones.
 
2012-09-15 01:31:22 AM  
I have to go with sword over the giant glo-stick.

I got that idea from The Big Bang Theory, Season 5, where Leonard pulls out his light saber when the power goes out, leaving Sherman looking foolish with his little glo-stick. Finally, a use for Star Wars crap.

By the way, that sword they bought looked like it was made out of galvinized aluminum or corrugated tin roofing. Why would you pay over $200 for an aluminum sword?

Speaking of swords, I was buying my fish and chips and the deli had this giant carving knife with a straight edge (rather than serrated), just about the right size for a hobbit or a Roman short sword. Too thin for battle, but a mortal-looking weapon all the same. Very light. Probably better for slashing at the unarmed peasantry than defending yourself because it would probably break at the first blow.

Most collectibles are nothing at all like real weapons--they are toys or ornaments. The steel is not the genuine forged, folded and tempered steel that characteristics true Samurai or Damasque steel.

The smiths used to pound out and fold the steel as much as 100 times, creating a laminated steel that to common iron or steel is like diamond to anthracite.
 
2012-09-15 01:33:43 AM  
Oops! Sorry! I got off on a tangent there. I thought we were talking light sabres for some reason.

Meh. Tasers. They've got the range and it shouldn' be too hard to take a sword away from a guy who is in shock unless he has Samurai training as well as a "sword".
 
2012-09-15 01:36:06 AM  
Are they sure it wasn't a ninja sword or a kantana?
 
2012-09-15 01:38:24 AM  
Obviously, the man with the sword wasn't this guy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=995Xo2e4RmI
 
2012-09-15 01:48:58 AM  
Hold the sword up above where the taser lines will hit. Try to cut them (they are flimsy). If that fails, roll to break them (yes, you can roll around and stuff while tased, the only muscles completely beyond control are those in between the nodes of the taser).

Then you hope that the person tasing you is just sitting there with his thumb up his arse and isn't closing to disarm you. Also hope he doesn't have another cartridge to shoot at you, and further hope that if he is closing he doesn't drive stun the shiat out of you.

Finally, be glad he doesn't simply shoot you with a gun, since your sword is a deadly weapon and your dumbass just escalated high enough to justify you being filled with lead.
 
2012-09-15 01:50:33 AM  

BronyMedic: THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE! FIGHT!

[www.hipstertravelguide.com image 576x390]

TASER WINS. PANTS PISSING-ALITY.


Well, very good for the guy holding up the knife, but what about his three ghost buddies?
 
2012-09-15 02:22:56 AM  
If I'm not mistaken, this was supposed to be the next episoide of Deadliest Warrior... Redneck Drug Dealer Samuri vs. Redneck Texas Cop.

Thanks for ruining the ending for me.
 
2012-09-15 02:35:04 AM  

Smackledorfer: Hold the sword up above where the taser lines will hit. Try to cut them (they are flimsy). If that fails, roll to break them (yes, you can roll around and stuff while tased, the only muscles completely beyond control are those in between the nodes of the taser).


samurai don't roll. they bend and flow

/art of war
 
2012-09-15 02:40:32 AM  

brantgoose: I have to go with sword over the giant glo-stick.

I got that idea from The Big Bang Theory, Season 5, where Leonard pulls out his light saber when the power goes out, leaving Sherman looking foolish with his little glo-stick. Finally, a use for Star Wars crap.

By the way, that sword they bought looked like it was made out of galvinized aluminum or corrugated tin roofing. Why would you pay over $200 for an aluminum sword?

Speaking of swords, I was buying my fish and chips and the deli had this giant carving knife with a straight edge (rather than serrated), just about the right size for a hobbit or a Roman short sword. Too thin for battle, but a mortal-looking weapon all the same. Very light. Probably better for slashing at the unarmed peasantry than defending yourself because it would probably break at the first blow.

Most collectibles are nothing at all like real weapons--they are toys or ornaments. The steel is not the genuine forged, folded and tempered steel that characteristics true Samurai or Damasque steel.

The smiths used to pound out and fold the steel as much as 100 times, creating a laminated steel that to common iron or steel is like diamond to anthracite.


Actually the folding of the steel served to refine the grain of the metal, which was important in the days before industrial refining. Laminated steel like damasque is two different steels in several layers.
The best samurai swords were laminated with one type of steel for the back of the blade and another for the edge, with differential tempering as well. This made it flexible and strong, yet razor sharp and able to hold an edge very well.

/ Amateur bladesmith, I am
 
2012-09-15 02:51:26 AM  

Smackledorfer: Hold the sword up above where the taser lines will hit. Try to cut them (they are flimsy). If that fails, roll to break them (yes, you can roll around and stuff while tased, the only muscles completely beyond control are those in between the nodes of the taser).
Then you hope that the person tasing you is just sitting there with his thumb up his arse and isn't closing to disarm you. Also hope he doesn't have another cartridge to shoot at you, and further hope that if he is closing he doesn't drive stun the shiat out of you.

Finally, be glad he doesn't simply shoot you with a gun, since your sword is a deadly weapon and your dumbass just escalated high enough to justify you being filled with lead.


Maybe this bull disagrees with you...
 
2012-09-15 02:58:37 AM  
Hmmm, well, a decently trained person theoretically -could- deflect a taser shot if they had the reflexes... then go to town on the shooter of said device. But smart money is on the taser.

Did not RTFA, not ashamed of this fact due to the time. Was just about to go to bed and I could have either RTFA, or commented... but not enough time for both. I took the low hanging fruit.
 
2012-09-15 04:08:02 AM  
Taser is electric, sword is conductive metal.
Sword loses.
 
2012-09-15 04:32:36 AM  
I never got the attraction of samurai swords.
I'll admit they are sexy, but as a two handed weapon you are telegraphing every move you make and it doesn't give you much reach for it. They aren't very portable and the real ones can be expensive. Most of what's on the market is made of scrap steel.
Even in the days of swords, many warriors preferred pole arms or more nimble blades.
For a close quarters bladed weapon, I'd just use a cheap and effective Bowie knife.

/Every time I read about a samurai sword in the news, the guy ends up Tasered and in the back of a cop car.
/At some point people must realize this isn't working.
 
2012-09-15 04:40:33 AM  
The day a samurai sword wins ones of these is the day we crown a new Miyamoto Musashi.

/Which isn't to say it won't happen at some point
//slashies, indeed
 
Xai
2012-09-15 05:18:25 AM  
wow, a taser used as it was designed to instead of a means of punishing those that disobey you
 
2012-09-15 06:27:48 AM  

brantgoose: The smiths used to pound out and fold the steel as much as 100 times, creating a laminated steel that to common iron or steel is like diamond to anthracite.


It's not that good.

Japan used to have shiat for iron reserves. Not many mines. Most of the steel ingots were made of black sand. So they would have to beat out the impurities.

And while Japanese steel was indeed good and a sword can last for generations with careful attention, Viking swords have lasted just as long in the bottom of peat bogs and are of a similar quality. And Damascus steel is even better than that.
 
2012-09-15 06:33:01 AM  

way south: but as a two handed weapon you are telegraphing every move you make and it doesn't give you much reach for it.


Not actually. You can use them one handed and if you're telegraphing your moves that's your problem, not the weapon's. A katana is a wicked fast if you know what you're doing. Feint and stab to the throat and it's over.

You should look into iiado as well. You wanna show me the telegraphing there, I'm willing to listen oh sensei.


/Although personally I love fighting against the kendo style with a shield, with two handed it's not as fun, even if you do have reach.
 
2012-09-15 07:24:36 AM  

doglover: You can use them one handed and if you're telegraphing your moves that's your problem, not the weapon's.


If you transition from stab to a slash or want to change the direction of your sweep, you've got three feet of steel to move. That's a difficult thing to hide. Compare Katana fighting with something like Eskrima for the difference in speed and intent.

There is also the practicality of the thing. A person can hide a rather large knife on their body, where as everyone can see someone walking with a sword. There's reasons why Musashi hasn't been winning many fights against the cops these days.

/Yet officers are still stabbed on a regular basis.
/statistically, I'd fear kitchen knives the most.
 
2012-09-15 07:49:38 AM  
 
2012-09-15 08:27:17 AM  
1) Refuse any search without a warrant.
2) Answer no questions.
3) Ask for an attorney.
4) Offer the pigs a cup of Joe while they wait, ask pointless questions etc.
5) Go to jail and wait for your shyster, dirt-bag lawyer.

At a minimum you won't end up on fark.

Pull a sword. You're ass is going on the internet.
 
2012-09-15 09:32:46 AM  

Casey_S777: If I'm not mistaken, this was supposed to be the next episoide of Deadliest Warrior... Redneck Drug Dealer Samuri vs. Redneck Texas Cop.

Thanks for ruining the ending for me.


Ah, remember, that is just one simulation and only one weapon pairing!

Redneck Drug Dealer Samurai Weapons!
Samurai Sword (Flea Market Aluminum)
Broken Bottle
Meth Baby
Shotgun
Skank

Redneck Texas Cop Weapons
Taser
Sunglasses
Big Hat
Guns
Guns
 
2012-09-15 12:10:58 PM  

Arcturus72: Smackledorfer: Hold the sword up above where the taser lines will hit. Try to cut them (they are flimsy). If that fails, roll to break them (yes, you can roll around and stuff while tased, the only muscles completely beyond control are those in between the nodes of the taser).
Then you hope that the person tasing you is just sitting there with his thumb up his arse and isn't closing to disarm you. Also hope he doesn't have another cartridge to shoot at you, and further hope that if he is closing he doesn't drive stun the shiat out of you.

Finally, be glad he doesn't simply shoot you with a gun, since your sword is a deadly weapon and your dumbass just escalated high enough to justify you being filled with lead.

Maybe this bull disagrees with you...


Did you interview him and ask whether he had any muscle control and was acting from pain, or whether it was purely a physical cause?
Next you'll judge human beings' ability to not walk into traffic based on a study of deer and rodents.

You'll note I didn't say it was easy move, and I restricted the options to easy things (keeping the blade high so you only have to lower it or your arms across the very flimsy wires, tossing yourself a bit to roll over them and snap them). You'll further note I pointed out that the trained cops will be closing the distance and getting you in a cuffing position and under physical control while the taser is going. It's not like I was playing internet badass or anything.
 
2012-09-15 04:01:08 PM  

brantgoose: I have to go with sword over the giant glo-stick.

I got that idea from The Big Bang Theory, Season 5, where Leonard pulls out his light saber when the power goes out, leaving Sherman looking foolish with his little glo-stick. Finally, a use for Star Wars crap.

By the way, that sword they bought looked like it was made out of galvinized aluminum or corrugated tin roofing. Why would you pay over $200 for an aluminum sword?

Speaking of swords, I was buying my fish and chips and the deli had this giant carving knife with a straight edge (rather than serrated), just about the right size for a hobbit or a Roman short sword. Too thin for battle, but a mortal-looking weapon all the same. Very light. Probably better for slashing at the unarmed peasantry than defending yourself because it would probably break at the first blow.

Most collectibles are nothing at all like real weapons--they are toys or ornaments. The steel is not the genuine forged, folded and tempered steel that characteristics true Samurai or Damasque steel.

The smiths used to pound out and fold the steel as much as 100 times, creating a laminated steel that to common iron or steel is like diamond to anthracite.


Common misconception. The stuff produced by the Japanese smelters was piss-poor in quality compared to the true Damascus steel, wootz, which was a crucible steel product. The Japanese smiths would have loved to have gotten their hands on some high-quality crucible steel. Instead, though, they would do the folding (10-15 times, not 100) to work out impurities, homogenise the steel and get rid of porosities and even then, the steel they ended up with was very brittle by modern standards.
Get an L-6 katana blade made of modern tool steel by someone like Howard Clark, and you have a blade that would take abuse no traditional blade could stand. The guys doing tameshi-giri love those blades. Not as pretty, but pretty damn near indestructible.
 
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