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(Yahoo)   Thieves use car as battering ram to break into Apple store and steal a few iGoods. Stupid: The car belongs to one of the thieves. Fark: The car is a BMW   (autos.yahoo.com) divider line 58
    More: Dumbass, Apple Stores, BMW X5, Temecula  
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4655 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Sep 2012 at 8:08 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-14 04:01:17 PM
Wow. The stupidity is staggering.
 
2012-09-14 04:03:17 PM
How many iPhone 5s did you get, retards?
 
2012-09-14 04:50:01 PM
A BMW station wagon, no less. I bet his mom gave it to him. I bet she's beating his ass as we speak.
 
2012-09-14 04:51:02 PM
Fail so hard. The stuff they stole isn't worth half as much as the damage they caused to the car.
 
2012-09-14 05:23:28 PM
The Kelly Blue Book for a 2003 BMW X5 is about $12,000. Hope it was worth it for a bunch of iPhone 4s that nobody is going to want in a week.
 
2012-09-14 07:54:08 PM
iDerp
 
2012-09-14 08:10:55 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: How many iPhone 5s did you get, retards?


Zee-Roh!
 
2012-09-14 08:10:57 PM
This can't be real.
 
2012-09-14 08:11:02 PM
They saw the word "Apple" and thought it was a farmer's market?
 
2012-09-14 08:15:17 PM
And you cannot afford taxes, you "middle class ala Rom-nay"?

;)
 
2012-09-14 08:17:03 PM

Indubitably: And you cannot afford taxes, you "middle class ala Rom-nay"?

;)


"I are understanding of the Middle Class. Yup." Rom-nay declared on ABC.

Ayup.
 
2012-09-14 08:17:38 PM

Indubitably: Indubitably: And you cannot afford taxes, you "middle class ala Rom-nay"?

;)

"I are understanding of the Middle Class. Yup." Rom-nay declared on ABC.

Ayup.


Apple.
 
2012-09-14 08:20:59 PM
They should've gotten Jason Statham to drive.
 
2012-09-14 08:21:42 PM

Marcus Aurelius: A BMW station wagon, no less. I bet his mom gave it to him. I bet she's beating his ass as we speak.


An even better present was the first name she saddled him with.
 
2012-09-14 08:21:53 PM
I think the author was going for the apple pun density award.
 
2012-09-14 08:26:01 PM
I guess they wouldn't have realized the minute those Apple devices connected to the Internet their location would be transmitted. And the guy who kept ramming the car into tables filled with merchandise is an even bigger fool for damaging things they might have stolen (even if they wouldn't get far with it).
 
2012-09-14 08:27:34 PM
Presenting the Apple Store Beamer Trap.

i85.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-14 08:31:16 PM
1 Young Man = 1 Brain Total
2 Young Men = 1/2 Brain Total
3 Young Men = 1/3 Brain Total
4 Young Men = 1/4 Brain Total
 
2012-09-14 08:32:07 PM
Smart as stealing lottery tickets.
 
2012-09-14 08:34:05 PM

Alpo 3000: 1 Young Man = 1 Brain Total
2 Young Men = 1/2 Brain Total
3 Young Men = 1/3 Brain Total
4 Young Men = 1/4 Brain Total


Ah, the law of group inverse intelligence.
 
2012-09-14 08:34:19 PM
I want to know what the front of the store was made of that took three tries to get in, trapped the car, and four tries to get out, eventually shredding the tires too...
 
2012-09-14 08:44:05 PM
Best use of a BMW ever.
 
2012-09-14 08:54:37 PM
In a week, all those iPhone 4s' would have been in the dumpster out back...
 
2012-09-14 09:00:55 PM

sno man: I want to know what the front of the store was made of that took three tries to get in, trapped the car, and four tries to get out, eventually shredding the tires too...


The dessicated bodies of Foxconn employees?
 
2012-09-14 09:01:57 PM
The FARK is strong in this one....
 
2012-09-14 09:02:59 PM

sno man: I want to know what the front of the store was made of that took three tries to get in, trapped the car, and four tries to get out, eventually shredding the tires too...


It's plastic, not glass, so it doesn't shatter.
 
2012-09-14 09:03:27 PM
I don't get why articles like this always mention the car's make - "a BMW", as if somehow we're going to be super impressed about it. A 2003 X5 isn't worth much, maybe $10-$15K. Farking *KIAS* cost more.
 
2012-09-14 09:08:58 PM

neilbradley: I don't get why articles like this always mention the car's make - "a BMW", as if somehow we're going to be super impressed about it. A 2003 X5 isn't worth much, maybe $10-$15K. Farking *KIAS* cost more.


I did not know a 2003 KIA cost over $15K.
 
2012-09-14 09:15:01 PM

Marcus Aurelius: A BMW station wagon, no less. I bet his mom gave it to him. I bet she's beating his ass as we speak.


She obviously thought better than to post bail for her baby child, Equonne. She's probably hoping some of his new friends beat his ass -- or do something to his ass.
 
2012-09-14 09:20:18 PM

Good Behavior Day: neilbradley: I don't get why articles like this always mention the car's make - "a BMW", as if somehow we're going to be super impressed about it. A 2003 X5 isn't worth much, maybe $10-$15K. Farking *KIAS* cost more.

I did not know a 2003 KIA cost over $15K.


Some new ones do.
 
2012-09-14 09:20:19 PM

neilbradley: I don't get why articles like this always mention the car's make - "a BMW", as if somehow we're going to be super impressed about it. A 2003 X5 isn't worth much, maybe $10-$15K. Farking *KIAS* cost more.


Even minor cosmetic damage to a 2003 BMW is going to cost a lot more than a few iPhones.
 
2012-09-14 09:33:12 PM
Hi. Could you activate this stolen phone for me?
 
2012-09-14 10:14:48 PM

Good Behavior Day: neilbradley: I don't get why articles like this always mention the car's make - "a BMW", as if somehow we're going to be super impressed about it. A 2003 X5 isn't worth much, maybe $10-$15K. Farking *KIAS* cost more.

I did not know a 2003 KIA cost over $15K.


"Kia" is Korean for ginger colored poop.
 
2012-09-14 10:17:38 PM

MayContainHorseGluten: Alpo 3000: 1 Young Man = 1 Brain Total
2 Young Men = 1/2 Brain Total
3 Young Men = 1/3 Brain Total
4 Young Men = 1/4 Brain Total

Ah, the law of group inverse intelligence.


Because none of us is as dumb as all of us
 
2012-09-14 10:17:52 PM
You're driving it wrong.
 
2012-09-14 10:20:20 PM
Equonne R. Howard, 22

Oh, I guess his mother likes horses
 
2012-09-14 10:48:19 PM
Does apple use cellphones as security cameras or something? You can spend like $30 and get a camera that's full screen
 
2012-09-14 10:52:22 PM

Fark, I am disappoint. The potential here is staggering:

www.nypost.com


Equonne R. Howard
 
2012-09-14 10:55:30 PM
they probably all use androids.
 
2012-09-14 11:07:36 PM

Speaker2Animals: Marcus Aurelius: A BMW station wagon, no less. I bet his mom gave it to him. I bet she's beating his ass as we speak.

An even better present was the first name she saddled him with.


Wanna wager on how long it took for someone at his elementary school to hang the nickname "Equine" on him? 



/Saddled....- snerk-
 
2012-09-14 11:09:15 PM

Good Behavior Day: neilbradley: I don't get why articles like this always mention the car's make - "a BMW", as if somehow we're going to be super impressed about it. A 2003 X5 isn't worth much, maybe $10-$15K. Farking *KIAS* cost more.

I did not know a 2003 KIA cost over $15K.


You didn't know? You didn't KNOW? For your information, me bucko, the 2003 KIA was and is the greatest car evah.

/ I keed, I keed
 
2012-09-14 11:14:45 PM

Pribar:
Wanna wager on how long it took for someone at his elementary school to hang the nickname "Equine" on him? 

/i>



I doubt anyone in his peer group has ever encountered the word 'equine', let alone know its' meaning.

 
2012-09-14 11:15:23 PM
Farking preview, how does it work?
 
2012-09-14 11:19:59 PM
cache.gawker.com
 
2012-09-14 11:23:40 PM
Is it too obvious in this case to steal a car first and use that? Especially one well suited for a battering ram.
If I was stupid enough to try this kind of stunt, I would at least skip the locked phones and focus on the computers.
 
2012-09-14 11:24:25 PM

JerkStore: [cache.gawker.com image 250x374]


came for this. leaving happily amused.
 
2012-09-14 11:27:58 PM
I'd go for the macbooks over iPhones. Easier to move.

But I also know that purchasing goods is more time and cost efficient than theft. Unless you have a whole network of fences and can steal and distribute container loads.

Go read Pinker's "The better angels of our nature"
 
2012-09-14 11:34:12 PM

Speaker2Animals: Marcus Aurelius: A BMW station wagon, no less. I bet his mom gave it to him. I bet she's beating his ass as we speak.

An even better present was the first name she saddled him with.


Equonne? What's wrong with that name? Why I know hund...well, maybe a doz...come to think of it, I have never heard of that name before, if in fact you want to call it a name. Somebody please tell me...where the Fark do these mothers come up with these names? Playing Scrabble?
 
2012-09-14 11:49:01 PM

99.998er: Somebody please tell me...where the Fark do these mothers come up with these names? Playing Scrabble?



The answer is obvious and I'm sure you've heard it before, but I couldn't tell you outright without being labeled a racist so you'll have to fill in the blank yourself:

"It's a blank thing, you wouldn't understand".
 
2012-09-14 11:54:50 PM

adeist69: 99.998er: Somebody please tell me...where the Fark do these mothers come up with these names? Playing Scrabble?


The answer is obvious and I'm sure you've heard it before, but I couldn't tell you outright without being labeled a racist so you'll have to fill in the blank yourself:

"It's a blank thing, you wouldn't understand".


But wait! My girlfriend is a "blank thing" named Nicole, and she doesn't understand it either.
 
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