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(The Coloradoan)   Police: Keep windows, doors locked unless you want to find man in your living room who was 'sent by God' to marry your daughters   (coloradoan.com ) divider line
    More: Strange, god, Loveland, private homes  
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5572 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Sep 2012 at 5:33 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



80 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2012-09-14 02:09:47 PM  
Or you could just make him work for you for seven years.
 
2012-09-14 02:44:08 PM  
When God works in His mysterious ways,all involved parties are given divine notice.....
 
2012-09-14 02:50:08 PM  
God sent me to divorce your daughters doesn't have the same ring to it.
 
2012-09-14 03:01:54 PM  
He could have at least made an offer.

newlin-deschler.com
 
2012-09-14 03:24:12 PM  
"I've been sent by God to marry your daughter!"

"I don't have any daughters"

"Wait, is this 1587 N. Oak Dr.?"

"No, this is 1587 S. Oak Dr."

"Sorry, wrong house, see ya later".
 
2012-09-14 03:25:33 PM  
Who am I to argue with God.
 
2012-09-14 03:43:20 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: Or you could just make him work for you for seven years.


See what you did there...
 
2012-09-14 04:09:09 PM  
That was me. Honest mistake. Thought I heard "marry them, marry them." Turns out it was "bury them, bury them," soooo
 
2012-09-14 04:48:32 PM  
We've come to ask for your daughter's hand
 
2012-09-14 05:30:59 PM  
kunochan.com

What does God need with a daughter?
 
2012-09-14 05:38:23 PM  
like as the officiator, or as the suitor?

of course not
 
2012-09-14 05:39:15 PM  
Elizabeth Smart would like to have a word.
 
2012-09-14 05:43:31 PM  
 
2012-09-14 05:45:11 PM  
The coroner would walk in and go..damn, now that is some great bullet grouping
 
2012-09-14 05:45:58 PM  
It is always so good to hear about people seeking to form a strong traditional marriage.
 
2012-09-14 05:46:34 PM  
Next time God should use FedEx.
 
2012-09-14 05:46:38 PM  
 
2012-09-14 05:48:08 PM  
Not a single romantic in here, I see.
 
2012-09-14 05:50:49 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: Or you could just make him work for you for seven years.


Yeah, but then he's going to want all the spotted and speckled goats in your flocks, and that's such a headache.
 
2012-09-14 05:54:12 PM  
This is the traditional marriage that conservative Christians are trying SO hard to protect.
 
2012-09-14 05:58:18 PM  

ConConHead: This is the traditional marriage that conservative Christians are trying SO hard to protect.


i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-09-14 06:07:23 PM  
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon... you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices, and I tell you, people do that all the time.
 
2012-09-14 06:21:13 PM  
But what if your daughter is Lana Wachowski?
 
2012-09-14 06:25:02 PM  
I guess being a city cop gives me a different perspective on how to respond to such an incident.

To me, that's an emergency - burglary in progress call because the guy was in the house. Not a "Ho hum, it's just another guy who wandered into my house again. Ooh, now he's at the neighbir's house." situation.

But that's just my opinion.
 
2012-09-14 06:26:12 PM  

iheartscotch: Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon... you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices, and I tell you, people do that all the time.


Especially at the county clerk's office.
 
2012-09-14 06:30:25 PM  
Hide yo kids! Hide yo wife!
 
2012-09-14 06:30:38 PM  
Mental illness and religion go together like peas and carrots.
 
2012-09-14 06:31:44 PM  
The man then left the home after being told to leave before appearing in a neighbor's driveway.


This makes my brain hurt
 
2012-09-14 06:34:36 PM  

Mr.Hawk: The man then left the home after being told to leave before appearing in a neighbor's driveway.


This makes my brain hurt


Would it have been better if the phrase "in a puff of smoke" had been included?
 
2012-09-14 06:35:52 PM  
That's ridiculous. Last I heard, the Lafferty brothers were still in jail.

/ too soon?
 
2012-09-14 06:38:33 PM  
I'd sit him down and discuss the possibilities...
 
2012-09-14 06:39:45 PM  
Considering some of the other things that are all part of God's Plan(TM), this is pretty mild.
 
2012-09-14 06:44:06 PM  

miss diminutive: [kunochan.com image 450x338]

What does God need with a daughter?


TFA: "The man gave the neighbor the same story, that he had been sent by God to marry his daughter. The neighbor told the man he did not have a daughter. Again, the man left without incident when he was told to leave," according to the news relase.


Why did God give me the wrong address?
 
2012-09-14 06:47:30 PM  
i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-09-14 06:49:01 PM  

Sybarite: He could have at least made an offer.


Came here for this, leaving satisfied
 
2012-09-14 06:49:08 PM  
Return to sender.
 
2012-09-14 06:53:29 PM  

BMFPitt: Return to sender.


Hey BMFPitt,

My "Fed pay off student loans plan" is brilliant policy man, and you know it.

Quit fearing what you don't understand.

;)
 
2012-09-14 07:01:10 PM  

Oznog: miss diminutive: [kunochan.com image 450x338]

What does God need with a daughter?

TFA: "The man gave the neighbor the same story, that he had been sent by God to marry his daughter. The neighbor told the man he did not have a daughter. Again, the man left without incident when he was told to leave," according to the news relase.


Why did God give me the wrong address?


God is always about those practical jokes. Did I ever tell you about the time he let me and several of my friends wonder around a desert for 40 years?


/ judah said left; Levi said right. It took us 10 years just to get out of the parking lot
 
2012-09-14 07:15:40 PM  
Mitt?
 
2012-09-14 07:26:08 PM  
Colorado.
In Texas, this would be over already.
 
2012-09-14 07:27:49 PM  

snocone: Colorado.
In Texas, this would be over already.


Colorado has the same laws, man.

Duh.
 
2012-09-14 07:31:21 PM  
Worked for the archangel Gabriel
 
2012-09-14 07:32:41 PM  

phrawgh: Mitt?


You wish he was as personable as your head has constructed.

Dude isn't fit to lead a business/company currently, since his continual disavowal of Bain decisions while he made momney off the sales the whole time, and his persistent misunderstanding of the American demographic, and, finally, his continual international gaffes.

Way to go, gas-hat, you just inflamed the Mideast with your blather, Rom-nay.

*shush*
 
2012-09-14 07:33:48 PM  

whither_apophis: Worked for the archangel Gabriel


Quit with the Bibler.
 
2012-09-14 07:41:30 PM  
At least he didn't say that God sent him there to ask the daughters what they were reading.
 
2012-09-14 07:45:39 PM  

MattyBlast: At least he didn't say that God sent him there to ask the daughters what they were reading.


was it. The BIBLE
 
2012-09-14 07:47:37 PM  
fta: "The man first appeared on a homeowner's couch"

burn the witch! burn the witch!

also, i live in a tiny red town where more people voted against obama than voted against kerry, so this approach might work for me.

right now god's telling me that the daughter of the downstairs neighbors might be marriage material, but i'll have to take her for a test drive first. can't argue with god...
 
2012-09-14 07:50:06 PM  

Indubitably: snocone: Colorado.
In Texas, this would be over already.

Colorado has the same laws, man.

Duh.


Not the same peeps.
Ta-duh
 
2012-09-14 07:52:08 PM  

snocone: Indubitably: snocone: Colorado.
In Texas, this would be over already.

Colorado has the same laws, man.

Duh.

Not the same peeps.
Ta-duh


Apparently peeps don't matter under the law?

"Where doth law go?"
 
2012-09-14 07:59:03 PM  
(fake russian accent)

"Of course you can marry my daughter, her name is Natalya, Natalya Makarov. Here, let me get her for you"

*BANG* *BANG*

www.aimsurplus.com
 
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