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(SeattlePI)   Hallmark says that Monday is "National Stay Away From Seattle Day". What, as opposed to the other 364 days in the year?   (blog.seattlepi.com) divider line 70
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4386 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Sep 2012 at 8:13 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-14 08:23:16 AM  
I can't stop looking at that "Pride" tattoo girl's belly button in the bottom slideshow.
 
2012-09-14 08:23:55 AM  
Actually they meant it to be "Stay Away from Kitsap County Day" but that really is every day.

Seriously.

Don't go there.
 
2012-09-14 08:23:57 AM  
I shall celebrate the only way I know how... Punch anyone in the face with an umbrella.
 
2012-09-14 08:26:44 AM  
Your blog... it creates a vacuum.
 
2012-09-14 08:28:41 AM  
Hallmark says that Monday is "National Stay Away From Seattle Day". What, as opposed to the other 364 days in the year?

The other 364 days in the year it is "We ain't got dick to greenlight at Fark Day", apparently. :(
 
2012-09-14 08:32:06 AM  

handgimp: Actually they meant it to be "Stay Away from Kitsap County Day" but that really is every day.

Seriously.

Don't go there.


That girl's a Bremelo 

Me and Terry hopped a ferry, we were lookin Swass
When a dip hit the ship we were almost tossed
It was a big bremelo standing on my toe,
An enormous jelly-belly tryin' to say hello
I was really kinda frightened as she looked my way,
I tried to run because her buns made the ferry sway
To be blunt she was fat and ready for combat
On the way to Bremerton where the fat is at,
The Girls a bremelo.

Let's Go!

I'm not fakin' or mistaken' 'bout the big ol' duck,
She had hairy underarms and a whoppin' gut,
Her hair was short and wavy, drove my pit bull crazy,
A Bremerton beast chasin' fella's in the Navy,
At the movie she's the feature, the Bremerton creature,
Ya' wear a life jacket if ya ever try and freak her
Look at her physique, she ain't my kinda freak,
The floor creaks when the beast starts reaching her peak


Now Bremerton's a city right outside of mine,
Most girls there are ducks but a few are fine
But the ones that I speak about, use their face ta catch a trout,
Vacuum cleaners for a mouth, You know what I'm talkin' 'bout
Mud Ducks, Hockey Pucks, Drivers of Mack trucks,
Lame brains, Diesel Trains, pick them up you have to strain,
Big Butt, Crew Cut, Extra-Ordinary Gut,
Big Mamma kinda butt, facial hair is kinda rough
 
2012-09-14 08:33:10 AM  
"undesirable types who might move here and drive too fast on our freeways."

After driving from Portland (Ore.) to Phoenix I have concluded that people in Northwest just drive to farking slow AND people in washington don't know how to drive.

/the left lane is for passing
//not driving 5 miles under the speed limit
///washington drivers are the biggest trolls in all the land.
 
2012-09-14 08:33:24 AM  

Eligarf: Hallmark says that Monday is "National Stay Away From Seattle Day". What, as opposed to the other 364 days in the year?

The other 364 days in the year it is "We ain't got dick to greenlight at Fark Day", apparently. :(


Ha! I was just mentioning this in another thread. I suspect some new mod may be greening shiat based solely on TF upvotes rather than making their own judgments, because so far today is full of fail.
 
2012-09-14 08:34:04 AM  
My brother moved up there a few years ago because he was tired of all the crime in California. He's already back living with my parents and made up some story that I came on to his girlfriend to explain as to why he refuses to talk to me.

/Just like when I said "tell the cops who was really driving, don't let them make you take the blame" or "get off that ladder, you're farking blitzed".
//"There are SIX of them, dude"
 
2012-09-14 08:38:31 AM  
From the gallery of reasons to stay away...

img.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-14 08:39:51 AM  

TheTrashcanMan: "undesirable types who might move here and drive too fast on our freeways."

After driving from Portland (Ore.) to Phoenix I have concluded that people in Northwest just drive to farking slow AND people in washington don't know how to drive.

/the left lane is for passing
//not driving 5 miles under the speed limit
///washington drivers are the biggest trolls in all the land.


When I see Californiam or Canada plates in the rear view, I get myself parallel with another Washingtonian then slow down.

The Oregon plates, I just pull out a gun and shoot at those.
 
2012-09-14 08:41:23 AM  
** Note comment not intended to be taken factually. Shooting Oregonians is still frowned upon. Even if they drove up here just to break windows or light fires next to a Starbucks.
 
2012-09-14 08:47:24 AM  

TheTrashcanMan: "undesirable types who might move here and drive too fast on our freeways."

After driving from Portland (Ore.) to Phoenix I have concluded that people in Northwest just drive to farking slow AND people in washington don't know how to drive.

/the left lane is for passing
//not driving 5 miles under the speed limit
///washington drivers are the biggest trolls in all the land.


We do tend to 'Mosey' up around these parts, with the exception of overcaffeinated, stressed out eastside soccer moms and insane ricer Asians.

And yes, please stay away. It's just awful up here. Horrible, really.
 
2012-09-14 08:54:55 AM  

MFAWG: TheTrashcanMan: "undesirable types who might move here and drive too fast on our freeways."

After driving from Portland (Ore.) to Phoenix I have concluded that people in Northwest just drive to farking slow AND people in washington don't know how to drive.

/the left lane is for passing
//not driving 5 miles under the speed limit
///washington drivers are the biggest trolls in all the land.

We do tend to 'Mosey' up around these parts, with the exception of overcaffeinated, stressed out eastside soccer moms and insane ricer Asians.

And yes, please stay away. It's just awful up here. Horrible, really.



The area // city is beautiful, its just filled with stupid people and bad drivers.
 
2012-09-14 08:56:54 AM  

Generation_D: ** Note comment not intended to be taken factually. Shooting Oregonians is still frowned upon. Even if they drove up here just to break windows or light fires next to a Starbucks.


That's a lot of fires. 161 in the metro area alone.
 
2012-09-14 09:00:13 AM  

TheTrashcanMan: MFAWG: TheTrashcanMan: "undesirable types who might move here and drive too fast on our freeways."

After driving from Portland (Ore.) to Phoenix I have concluded that people in Northwest just drive to farking slow AND people in washington don't know how to drive.

/the left lane is for passing
//not driving 5 miles under the speed limit
///washington drivers are the biggest trolls in all the land.

We do tend to 'Mosey' up around these parts, with the exception of overcaffeinated, stressed out eastside soccer moms and insane ricer Asians.

And yes, please stay away. It's just awful up here. Horrible, really.


The area // city is beautiful, its just filled with stupid people and bad drivers.


I think Washington is the stupidest state in the Lower 48 (Alaska being the stupidest). Seattle Metro Area has like the dumbest people in all of North America.
 
2012-09-14 09:02:52 AM  
Why would anyone want to go to Seattle? Does Hallmark have a card for "Don't shower with gasoline and then light a cigarette day" too?
 
2012-09-14 09:04:24 AM  

Generation_D: TheTrashcanMan: "undesirable types who might move here and drive too fast on our freeways."

After driving from Portland (Ore.) to Phoenix I have concluded that people in Northwest just drive to farking slow AND people in washington don't know how to drive.

/the left lane is for passing
//not driving 5 miles under the speed limit
///washington drivers are the biggest trolls in all the land.

When I see Californiam or Canada plates in the rear view, I get myself parallel with another Washingtonian then slow down.

The Oregon plates, I just pull out a gun and shoot at those.


Is it in the Washington drivers manual that you must stay in the left hand lane trolling all the way to your destination?

Also, there is nothing worse on the road than a female Washingtonian driving
 
2012-09-14 09:06:57 AM  
MFAWG:

And yes, please stay away. It's just awful up here. Horrible, really.


It is, in all truth. It's a shiathole that, if nuked, would be doing the country a favor.

Want to see women with plaited armpit hair? Go to Seattle.

Want to hear people rave about how "awesome" some of the worst cooking in the country is? Go to Seattle.

Do you like committing fashion abortions such as wearing natural wool socks with hipster douchebag sandals? Go to Seattle.

Do you prefer to smugly drone on endlessly about your Prius but then beg your truck owning neighbors/friends/coworkers to help you carry something larger than a loaf of bread? Go to Seattle.

Do you think recycling used toilet paper isn't "green" enough? Go to Seattle.

Do you hate seeing the sun for longer than 45 minutes on any given day? Go to Seattle.

Would you like to greet your checkout person at the market in Russian? Go to Seattle.

Would you like to spend five times the average on an apartment that reeks of curry? Go to Seattle.

Do you think fleece vests are an acceptable accessory to every outfit you own? Go to Seattle.

Do you suddenly get the shakes and feel like you might shiat yourself if your vehicle travels over 24 miles an hour? Go to Seattle.

Do you find endless road construction fascinating? Go to Seattle.

/fark Seattle
//Bremerton is worse, though, admittedly.
 
2012-09-14 09:10:49 AM  
It 'll just get rained out
 
2012-09-14 09:10:53 AM  

Caelistis: MFAWG:

And yes, please stay away. It's just awful up here. Horrible, really.


It is, in all truth. It's a shiathole that, if nuked, would be doing the country a favor.

Want to see women with plaited armpit hair? Go to Seattle.

Want to hear people rave about how "awesome" some of the worst cooking in the country is? Go to Seattle.

Do you like committing fashion abortions such as wearing natural wool socks with hipster douchebag sandals? Go to Seattle.

Do you prefer to smugly drone on endlessly about your Prius but then beg your truck owning neighbors/friends/coworkers to help you carry something larger than a loaf of bread? Go to Seattle.

Do you think recycling used toilet paper isn't "green" enough? Go to Seattle.

Do you hate seeing the sun for longer than 45 minutes on any given day? Go to Seattle.

Would you like to greet your checkout person at the market in Russian? Go to Seattle.

Would you like to spend five times the average on an apartment that reeks of curry? Go to Seattle.

Do you think fleece vests are an acceptable accessory to every outfit you own? Go to Seattle.

Do you suddenly get the shakes and feel like you might shiat yourself if your vehicle travels over 24 miles an hour? Go to Seattle.

Do you find endless road construction fascinating? Go to Seattle.

/fark Seattle
//Bremerton is worse, though, admittedly.


Does anyone here really think a hipster would be wearing wool socks and sandals?
 
2012-09-14 09:12:48 AM  
I HATE the socks with sandals thing. But a fleece vest is absolutely acceptable in all situations.

If you see someone with an umbrella, they're not actually from here.
 
2012-09-14 09:13:23 AM  

tsferg:
Does anyone here really think a hipster would be wearing wool socks and sandals?


Hence why I said "hipster douchebag sandals" not "a hipster douchebag wearing sandals".
 
2012-09-14 09:15:13 AM  
The funny thing is, Seattle wasn't asking to be turned into anything. It was just sitting here quietly enjoying itself away from the limelight. Then all the out of towners, some sh*tty movies in the 1990s, and voila. Population overload full of idiot noobs.

Another fun thing to do is give directions only using landmarks that are no longer there.

Also, stuff like "Its right near Boeing." Boeing is several square miles of facility. Or reference the buildings Boeing used to own but sold off 15 years ago as still being Boeing.

You could always set your GPS to New York or LA then follow it.
 
2012-09-14 09:15:59 AM  

MFAWG: I HATE the socks with sandals thing. But a fleece vest is absolutely acceptable in all situations.

If you see someone with an umbrella, they're not actually from here.


Correct.

Fleece vest guy, you're one of us.
 
2012-09-14 09:17:17 AM  
Please come, just to piss of douches who want you to stay away.
 
2012-09-14 09:22:02 AM  

"...the day when we defend Seattle's honor against Californians, Texans, Canadians and any other undesirable types who might move here and drive too fast on our freeways."

Too bad, Seattle. We have these on the California border:

Welcome to Oregon
Now keep going.
 
2012-09-14 09:22:12 AM  

OtherBrotherDarryl: Please come, just to piss of douches who want you to stay away.


Another fun one is seeing some guy in a Pittsburgh Stealers shirt, wait til you're almost walked past them, then mumble "Cheaters" loud enough he can hear. Did this once, I had a guy actually standing there screaming back at me as I was nonchalantly walking away. Everyone staring at him of course.

Good times.
 
2012-09-14 09:24:55 AM  

Snarfangel: "...the day when we defend Seattle's honor against Californians, Texans, Canadians and any other undesirable types who might move here and drive too fast on our freeways."

Too bad, Seattle. We have these on the California border:

Welcome to Oregon
Now keep going.


I don't think too many people passing through Southern Oregon need much encouragement.

Yes, its lovely.

No, there's nothing there worth staying for. Forest fires and fundie billboards. And a whole lot of meth users.
 
2012-09-14 09:27:03 AM  
Generation_D: When I see Californiam or Canada plates in the rear view, I get myself parallel with another Washingtonian then slow down.

The Oregon plates, I just pull out a gun and shoot at those.

You must get a lot of people from Portland.

/The ones from TGS of Jefferson will shoot back.
 
2012-09-14 09:31:26 AM  

Generation_D: Snarfangel: "...the day when we defend Seattle's honor against Californians, Texans, Canadians and any other undesirable types who might move here and drive too fast on our freeways."

Too bad, Seattle. We have these on the California border:

Welcome to Oregon
Now keep going.

I don't think too many people passing through Southern Oregon need much encouragement.

Yes, its lovely.

No, there's nothing there worth staying for. Forest fires and fundie billboards. And a whole lot of meth users.


Hey, our meth is made by high school graduates! Mostly. 

More anti-meth than fundie billboards in my area, actually. SODA or whatever.
 
2012-09-14 09:37:33 AM  
I liked Seattle when I visited, but I've heard from people that move there that the people are kinda dickish.
 
2012-09-14 09:44:23 AM  

Snarfangel: Generation_D: When I see Californiam or Canada plates in the rear view, I get myself parallel with another Washingtonian then slow down.

The Oregon plates, I just pull out a gun and shoot at those.

You must get a lot of people from Portland.

/The ones from TGS of Jefferson will shoot back.


Its true. I would imagine most of our Oregonians are from Multnomah County.
 
2012-09-14 10:23:15 AM  
I can see Seattle from my house, nope, not going there today either.
 
2012-09-14 10:28:07 AM  

Slam1263: I can see Seattle from my house, nope, not going there today either.


Let me guess ... Downtown Bellevue in a highrise? Or on the water on Lake Washington?
 
2012-09-14 10:28:32 AM  

Nightsweat: I liked Seattle when I visited, but I've heard from people that move there that the people are kinda dickish.


Just to the transplants, who feel entitled - and typically come from California.
 
2012-09-14 10:28:39 AM  
Last time we were in Seattle we all (myself, wife and then 3 year old son) came down with a horrible stomach virus which had us holed up in our hotel room with fluids coming out both ends. I hear that's how it is pretty much every day there, so no, we won't be back...
 
2012-09-14 10:31:03 AM  

Generation_D: Correct.

Fleece vest guy, you're one of us.


Ha, checks the jacket on the back of my chair at work - yep, a 15-year-old North Face fleece vest.

/sucker won't fall apart.
 
2012-09-14 10:33:49 AM  

Generation_D: Slam1263: I can see Seattle from my house, nope, not going there today either.

Let me guess ... Downtown Bellevue in a highrise? Or on the water on Lake Washington?


I live in Tukhella and can see the Space Needle from my house. Not digging the orange.
 
2012-09-14 10:36:19 AM  
blog.seattlepi.com

wcbnfm.files.wordpress.com

Prince is from Seattle?
 
2012-09-14 10:41:00 AM  
Oh, and the Puget Sound is a crappy place. Bad scuba diving, crabbing & sailing.

Here's the most recent map from the USGS.
www.alchemysite.com
 
2012-09-14 11:03:04 AM  

dcigary: Last time we were in Seattle we all (myself, wife and then 3 year old son) came down with a horrible stomach virus which had us holed up in our hotel room with fluids coming out both ends. I hear that's how it is pretty much every day there, so no, we won't be back...


yes it is an awful place. Between the plague, pestilence, killer slugs and lack of sunshine it is amazing we survive.
 
2012-09-14 11:08:12 AM  
Yes, please stay away. The weather this summer has been awful. If I have to spend one more day in 75 degree weather, with blue skies and no humidity, I'll snap.

Moved here from the Midwest-never going back.
 
2012-09-14 11:33:50 AM  
I lived in Seattle for many years, and while I miss the beauty of it and the surrounding area, coupled with the outdoors activity, amazing seafood and Asian cuisine, I don't miss the over inflated housing market, the drivers who feel morally obligated to drive 10 mph under the speed limit, and the stand offishness of its self important citizens.

/Yes I do kind of miss the rain.
 
2012-09-14 11:34:28 AM  
I thought "Stay away from Seattle day" was November 22

upload.wikimedia.org

/Not obscure to Old Seattleites
//Lesser Seattle
///Slashies
 
2012-09-14 12:22:11 PM  

MFAWG: I HATE the socks with sandals thing. But a fleece vest is absolutely acceptable in all situations.

If you see someone with an umbrella, they're not actually from here.


The old joke, "What do you call someone with an umbrella in Seattle? A tourist" I really, really hate when people use umbrellas DT. I mean most of the sidewalks are mostly covered and yet people with umbrellas still walk under them. These people are usually short and use golf umbrellas that could fit four people under them.
 
2012-09-14 12:22:36 PM  

MFAWG: orange


"Galaxy Gold".

Original Color.

img.ibtimes.com

One more reason for you not to move to Seattle.
 
2012-09-14 01:13:04 PM  
So much hate.... I shall enjoy moving to Portland next year
 
2012-09-14 01:15:13 PM  
Growing up in Missoula, I will assimilate into the Portland crowd easier then one would believe because who needs friends when you have enemies?
 
2012-09-14 01:31:59 PM  
That's fine, I was planning on staying here in Bellevue anyway. The weirdness doesn't bug me, since I grew up in Eugene. It's the goddamn passive-aggressive crap-tastic driving that Seattleites seem to think is ok. Light is red and there's a stream of oncoming traffic? Sure, try and turn right and then flip me off when I honk at you!

/seriously, Washington drivers can EABOD
//at least in Oregon if you're hauling ass in the left lane, people will get out of your way
 
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