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(Huffington Post)   Naked and bloody man gnaws on woman's head near Scranton. That's what she said   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 75
    More: Weird, Scranton, Montreal police, Miami-Dade Police Department, Alexander Kinyua, Morgan State, aggravated assault  
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6568 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Sep 2012 at 10:12 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



75 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-09-13 06:09:53 PM  
Schrute Farms?
 
2012-09-13 06:11:06 PM  
Was she facing her Fear?
 
2012-09-13 06:12:00 PM  
Well that IS where the tastiest meat is.
 
2012-09-13 06:15:23 PM  
I'm not even sure where the scranton is on ones head
 
2012-09-13 06:15:44 PM  
bath salts?
 
2012-09-13 06:17:21 PM  

toddalmighty: bath salts?


PCP is making a comeback.
 
2012-09-13 06:18:57 PM  
Filling bathtubs with water. Stockpiling non-perishables. Buying bike-powered generator. Tearing up staircase...
 
2012-09-13 06:22:03 PM  
I see what you did there.
 
2012-09-13 06:36:33 PM  
It's yet unclear whether Cimino was on drugs during the incident

Really.....
 
2012-09-13 08:42:18 PM  
Sounds like a story full of bath salts....
 
2012-09-13 08:46:36 PM  
Was it this woman?

i.ytimg.com
 
2012-09-13 09:09:31 PM  
I loathe "that's what she said" quips...but this one made me smirk
 
2012-09-13 09:48:02 PM  

Lor M. Ipsum: .but this one made me smirk


That's what she said.
 
2012-09-13 10:15:32 PM  
Scranton Strangler?
 
2012-09-13 10:15:40 PM  
i.huffpost.com

God, I love stock images.
 
2012-09-13 10:18:10 PM  

doglover: It's yet unclear whether Cimino was on drugs during the incident

Really.....


{snort}
My thoughts exactly.
Boat's a hell of a drug...
How bad off do you have to be to decide that completely detaching from your body seems like a good idea.
 
2012-09-13 10:19:03 PM  
Zombie security has been really lax lately.
 
2012-09-13 10:22:16 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
I bet it was Prison Mike. He hasn't been the same since the Dementors.
 
2012-09-13 10:25:03 PM  
Great, that bath-salt manufacturer has moved north...
 
2012-09-13 10:27:32 PM  

Arn_Dee: Zombie security has been really lax lately.


Not in my household. My roommate and I have our main weapons inn the livingroom ready to defend our single point of entry, loads of non-parishable, precooked foods, water for weeks, and even a fat roommate to stall the zombies while we escape to my plan b location.
 
2012-09-13 10:33:30 PM  
Send ..... more ....... scrapple.
 
2012-09-13 10:33:34 PM  
This is why marijuana is and should remain illegal.
 
2012-09-13 10:34:03 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-09-13 10:34:14 PM  
From Scranton, so getting a kick.
 
2012-09-13 10:36:30 PM  
Man, all these years after 'Heaven's Gate' and still so angry.
 
2012-09-13 10:40:39 PM  
What if there's a drug that turns people into zombies?.
 
2012-09-13 10:45:39 PM  

Fuggin Bizzy: This is why marijuana is and should remain illegal.


That has got to be the single dumbest thing I have ever hears. Nowhere, at any time, did you even come close to the point of the article, it was rambling and incoherent, and the audience is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
 
2012-09-13 10:46:36 PM  

CygnusDarius: What if there's a drug that turns people into zombies?.


Old-school anti-psychotics. shuffle-shuffle.
 
2012-09-13 10:48:14 PM  
This man is wanted for questioning

feedtim.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-09-13 10:50:21 PM  

JohnnyRebel88: This man is wanted for questioning


I'm sure he's wanted for many things.

/like murder.
 
2012-09-13 10:51:14 PM  
Im beginning to believe this is starting.

lh4.googleusercontent.com

I live in California and here they're called Liberals and damn if there isn't a lot of them.
 
2012-09-13 10:52:46 PM  
d3pof0dg6ipqi1.cloudfront.net
 
2012-09-13 10:56:19 PM  

chaosweaver: Fuggin Bizzy: This is why marijuana is and should remain illegal.

That has got to be the single dumbest thing I have ever hears. Nowhere, at any time, did you even come close to the point of the article, it was rambling and incoherent, and the audience is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


Maybe he had a righteous case of the munches.

/legalize it!
 
2012-09-13 10:58:06 PM  

Fuggin Bizzy: This is why marijuana is and should remain illegal.


1/10

/you'll get bites for your weak effort
 
2012-09-13 10:59:15 PM  
It was just after dark when a man gnawed on
the head of a woman from Scranton, Pennsylvania
Tasting 30,000 cells... of Latanya
Tasting 30,000 cells... of La-tan-yaaaa
 
2012-09-13 10:59:27 PM  
Ahh Scranton and Hawley... The stomping grounds of my youth....
 
2012-09-13 11:00:25 PM  

chaosweaver: JohnnyRebel88: This man is wanted for questioning

I'm sure he's wanted for many things.

/like murder.


Only for "The Boston Girl"
 
2012-09-13 11:04:22 PM  
Scranton. I little pocket of Florida for the Northeast.

/been in Scranton exactly twice. Both times I ran into the weirdest people.
 
2012-09-13 11:04:25 PM  

chaosweaver: JohnnyRebel88: This man is wanted for questioning

I'm sure he's wanted for many things.

/like murder.


Well duh. He killed everything he farked.
 
2012-09-13 11:04:28 PM  

Hale-Bopp: Fuggin Bizzy: This is why marijuana is and should remain illegal.

1/10

/you'll get bites for your weak effort


I give it 5/10, since everyone seems to be missing the obvious sarcasm here. Recalibrate your meters, folks.
 
2012-09-13 11:04:42 PM  
manhattaninfidel.com


"This would never go down in my Scranton,y'all."
 
2012-09-13 11:09:29 PM  

Apos: [manhattaninfidel.com image 500x425]


"This would never go down in my Scranton,y'all."


www.thedailyrash.com

.......................................



3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-09-13 11:12:37 PM  
Gnaw is such an ugly word, it was more like purrrrrr
 
2012-09-13 11:14:06 PM  
If you type out the word "Scranton" and just stare at it, you'll slowly start to go mad.
 
2012-09-13 11:15:44 PM  

farkingismybusiness: chaosweaver: JohnnyRebel88: This man is wanted for questioning

I'm sure he's wanted for many things.

/like murder.

Well duh. He killed everything he farked.


Bravo and touche
 
2012-09-13 11:21:44 PM  
did he also take a dump in front of everybody? if so, sounds like the Jimson weed.

Jimson weed, the awesome free brain toxin that makes you take your clothes off and run around like a maniac. You may also find yourself pooping on the floor/ground in front of other people because why the hell not?

\knew a guy who destroyed his brain on the stuff
 
2012-09-13 11:31:13 PM  
If they get naked and try to eat/kill you it's "bath salts".
If they stay clothed and try to kill you it's "wet", which is a combination of PCP and marijuana.
 
2012-09-13 11:32:20 PM  
www.remedyoutfitters.com
Bath salts are a helluva drug
 
2012-09-13 11:35:34 PM  
Why would that be something to do with a "That's what she said" ending?
 
2012-09-13 11:35:50 PM  
Yeah, this is why Walking Dead and all zombie movies fail to convince me; there's never any buck-ass naked zombie shambling around. As soon as weirdos like this lose their minds they also lose their pants.

There's no way actual zombies would stay fully-dressed for very long.

/they'd at least lose a shoe or two.
 
2012-09-13 11:36:08 PM  

Brick-House: Im beginning to believe this is starting.

[lh4.googleusercontent.com image 512x410]

I live in California and here they're called Liberals and damn if there isn't a lot of them.


You just have to shoehorn politics into every thread, don't you? Talk about psychosis.
 
2012-09-13 11:42:04 PM  

Egalitarian: did he also take a dump in front of everybody? if so, sounds like the Jimson weed.

Jimson weed, the awesome free brain toxin that makes you take your clothes off and run around like a maniac. You may also find yourself pooping on the floor/ground in front of other people because why the hell not?

\knew a guy who destroyed his brain on the stuff


I actually had to look this up and thought you were kidding. I seriously never heard of it. The more you know....
Thanks
 
2012-09-13 11:50:11 PM  

Egalitarian: did he also take a dump in front of everybody? if so, sounds like the Jimson weed.


Ahhh, the solanaceae family.
It brings to us such wonderful things, like tomatoes, potatoes, peppers, and deadly nightshade.

Jimson weed is not the only strongly hallucinogenic flower in that family, either -- there are many. Angel's Trumpet (Brugmansia) is an extremely powerful hallucinogen whose psychoactive alkaloids can wreak havoc on the heart and various other muscles. It can easily kill you. It has large orange-yellow flowers of similar shape to the ones on Jimson weed. Allow me to relate this little tidbit:
The hallucinogenic effects of Brugmansia were described in the journal Pathology as "terrifying rather than pleasurable".[25] ... These hallucinations are often characterized by complete loss of awareness that one is hallucinating, disconnection from reality, and amnesia of the episode, such as one example reported in Psychiatry and Clinical Neuroscience of a young man who amputated his own penis and tongue after drinking only 1 cup of Brugmansia tea.
 
2012-09-14 12:09:31 AM  

Sliding Carp: Send ..... more ....... scrapple.


Let the zombies become abundant enough, and you'll have plenty...
 
2012-09-14 12:17:48 AM  

chaosweaver: Arn_Dee: ...loads of non-parishable, precooked foods


Well, that's lucky - now you won't need to worry about all those church parishioners stealing your food, since they can't eat it apparently?
 
2012-09-14 12:24:24 AM  
projectumbrella.net

Could not be reached for comment.
 
2012-09-14 12:42:27 AM  
A human face and 30.000 lbs of bananas.
 
2012-09-14 12:48:33 AM  

Micanope: A human face and 30.000 lbs of bananas.


Came for this. Leaving with it stuck in my head.

/Yes, we have no bananas
//No bananas in Scranton, PA
 
2012-09-14 01:08:43 AM  
Every undead outbreak, regardless of its class, has a beginning...These signs include:

...

3. Cases of "violent insanity" in which the subject attacked friends or family without the use of weapons. Find out if the attacker bit or tried to bite his victims. If so, are any of the victims still in the hospital? Try to discover if any of these victims mysteriously died within days of their bite.

...

http://zombie.wikia.com/wiki/Outbreaks^
 
2012-09-14 01:24:40 AM  

zobear: Every undead outbreak, regardless of its class, has a beginning...These signs include:

...

3. Cases of "violent insanity" in which the subject attacked friends or family without the use of weapons. Find out if the attacker bit or tried to bite his victims. If so, are any of the victims still in the hospital? Try to discover if any of these victims mysteriously died within days of their bite.

...

http://zombie.wikia.com/wiki/Outbreaks^


Also, IIRC, a sudden uptick in homicides where the "victim" was beheaded by the "attacker"...possible sign that the killer was the victim of a zombie attack and attempting to prevent more deaths.
 
2012-09-14 01:28:01 AM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: chaosweaver: Arn_Dee: ...loads of non-parishable, precooked foods

Well, that's lucky - now you won't need to worry about all those church parishioners stealing your food, since they can't eat it apparently?


Their God will save them, anyway, right?
 
2012-09-14 01:30:44 AM  

rkallister: Could not be reached for comment.


In the event of an outbreak, please go to your nearest Umbrella Corporation sanctioned shelter and await processing to a safe and secure location.
 
2012-09-14 01:46:30 AM  
All the newer legal drugs scare the crap out of me. A friend and I smoked some salvia for s's and g's a couple of years ago, and immediately he heard a dog barking and started freaking out about my dog barking, so I went running out of the room in a panic to check on the dog and then realized I don't have a dog. I know, CSS, but it was weird how quickly we were just gone. And we're just boring slacker nerds, so I can imagine what tripping out on that stuff or something like it could do to someone who's violent or generally antisocial as a baseline. I'm ready for pot to be legal and all but I won't mess with any of those headshop synthetics again.
 
2012-09-14 01:47:06 AM  
"Naked and bloody man gnaws on woman's head near Scranton. That's what she said "

WAT?
 
2012-09-14 01:56:21 AM  

ZombiesYall: All the newer legal drugs scare the crap out of me. A friend and I smoked some salvia for s's and g's a couple of years ago, and immediately he heard a dog barking and started freaking out about my dog barking, so I went running out of the room in a panic to check on the dog and then realized I don't have a dog. I know, CSS, but it was weird how quickly we were just gone. And we're just boring slacker nerds, so I can imagine what tripping out on that stuff or something like it could do to someone who's violent or generally antisocial as a baseline. I'm ready for pot to be legal and all but I won't mess with any of those headshop synthetics again.


I'm with you there. I'll sit there all day and smoke a few bowls playing Resident Evil, but no way in hell will I touch Bath Salts and re-enact it.
 
2012-09-14 02:42:16 AM  
Zombie2 Electric Boogaloo
 
2012-09-14 06:08:04 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: toddalmighty:

bath salts?

PCP is making a comeback.


Are you sure it wasn't some deity inspiring him?
 
2012-09-14 07:37:49 AM  
Now there's a crossover I didn't see coming.
 
2012-09-14 08:04:10 AM  
"The victim was beheaded by the attacker who appears to have kept the body for some weeks before beheading him as the victim was in an advanced state of decomposition."
 
2012-09-14 08:08:09 AM  

ZombiesYall: All the newer legal drugs scare the crap out of me. A friend and I smoked some salvia for s's and g's a couple of years ago, and immediately he heard a dog barking and started freaking out about my dog barking, so I went running out of the room in a panic to check on the dog and then realized I don't have a dog. I know, CSS, but it was weird how quickly we were just gone. And we're just boring slacker nerds, so I can imagine what tripping out on that stuff or something like it could do to someone who's violent or generally antisocial as a baseline. I'm ready for pot to be legal and all but I won't mess with any of those headshop synthetics again.


upload.wikimedia.org
Salvia divinorum (also known as Diviner's Sage,[2] Ska María Pastora,[3] Seer's Sage,[4] and by its genus name Salvia) is a psychoactive plant which can induce dissociative effects and is a potent producer of "visions" and other hallucinatory experiences.

It`s legal and you can grow it. It`s not illegal because it`s not that much fun. Last time I tried salvia I could see through time (about 2 seconds in each direction)
 
2012-09-14 09:33:16 AM  

trappedspirit: Why would that be something to do with a "That's what she said" ending?


Scranton is the location of the American version of "The Office", in which the character of Michael Scott regularly makes "That's what she said!" jokes...

/TMYK
 
2012-09-14 09:54:02 AM  
It's yet unclear whether Cimino was on drugs during the incident

Um, I'll save you the $1.99 drug test kit price and say "yes, drugs were involved."

You're welcome.
 
2012-09-14 12:54:26 PM  

dready zim: ZombiesYall: All the newer legal drugs scare the crap out of me. A friend and I smoked some salvia for s's and g's a couple of years ago, and immediately he heard a dog barking and started freaking out about my dog barking, so I went running out of the room in a panic to check on the dog and then realized I don't have a dog. I know, CSS, but it was weird how quickly we were just gone. And we're just boring slacker nerds, so I can imagine what tripping out on that stuff or something like it could do to someone who's violent or generally antisocial as a baseline. I'm ready for pot to be legal and all but I won't mess with any of those headshop synthetics again.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x194]
Salvia divinorum (also known as Diviner's Sage,[2] Ska María Pastora,[3] Seer's Sage,[4] and by its genus name Salvia) is a psychoactive plant which can induce dissociative effects and is a potent producer of "visions" and other hallucinatory experiences.

It`s legal and you can grow it. It`s not illegal because it`s not that much fun. Last time I tried salvia I could see through time (about 2 seconds in each direction)


Oh gosh, thanks for pointing that out. Otherwise I might have used the wrong definition of something on the internet. You win this thread.
 
2012-09-14 04:31:58 PM  
Thank you Subby. Your headline made me laugh out loud.
I don't do that uchm.
 
2012-09-14 04:33:05 PM  
much, that is.
 
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