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(Team Coco)   "Apple's new battery promises 225 hours of standby and is powered by the tears of Chinese laborers" and other fun facts about the iPhone 5   (teamcoco.com) divider line 30
    More: Satire, iPhone, Atticus Finch, shoots, Chinese, Mario Batali  
•       •       •

3985 clicks; posted to Geek » on 13 Sep 2012 at 1:50 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



30 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-09-13 12:38:26 PM  
Apes that touch the glowing new mini-monolith are suddenly able to turn basic tools into weapons.

Does it have dimensions in a 1:4:9 ratio?

Apple might have to sue arthur c clarke and stanley kubrik for copyright infringement
 
2012-09-13 02:02:29 PM  
Given that students were required to finish manufacturing on the iDevice to graduate, I'd think slavery would be accurate.
 
2012-09-13 02:02:42 PM  
My God....it's full of stars.
 
2012-09-13 02:09:44 PM  
From the comments: "That is too funny. Can't wait to have mine. :D"

I never cease to be amazed how someone can read an entire article, but completely miss the point.
 
2012-09-13 02:10:39 PM  
Fun Fact #127: The new iPhone is so precious and fragile that if you drop it during normal use it's going to smash, so be sure to cover it in a protective housing which hides all the cool design you're paying $800 for.
 
2012-09-13 02:11:08 PM  

Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: From the comments: "That is too funny. Can't wait to have mine. :D"

I never cease to be amazed how someone can read an entire article, but completely miss the point.


It amazes me that they thought that was funny.
 
2012-09-13 02:12:13 PM  
Apple launches have reached punchline status.
 
2012-09-13 02:14:53 PM  

whatshisname: Fun Fact #127: The new iPhone is so precious and fragile that if you drop it during normal use it's going to smash, so be sure to cover it in a protective housing which hides all the cool design you're paying $800 for.


$200 but close
 
2012-09-13 02:26:05 PM  

RockChalkH1N1: whatshisname: Fun Fact #127: The new iPhone is so precious and fragile that if you drop it during normal use it's going to smash, so be sure to cover it in a protective housing which hides all the cool design you're paying $800 for.

$200 but close


The price of the phone is 800+
 
2012-09-13 02:26:14 PM  

RockChalkH1N1: whatshisname: Fun Fact #127: The new iPhone is so precious and fragile that if you drop it during normal use it's going to smash, so be sure to cover it in a protective housing which hides all the cool design you're paying $800 for.

$200 but close


$200 with a contract. Those aren't free.
 
2012-09-13 02:28:40 PM  
Well one thing about the new iPhone, we're going to have to restructure our apps to fit the new design. Shouldn't be too hard but it's going to take time and $.
 
2012-09-13 02:29:43 PM  

RockChalkH1N1: whatshisname: Fun Fact #127: The new iPhone is so precious and fragile that if you drop it during normal use it's going to smash, so be sure to cover it in a protective housing which hides all the cool design you're paying $800 for.

$200 but close


The iPhone 4S costs $649 for th 16GB version, $849 for the 64GB.

The $200 is the carrier subsidized price if one signs a two year contract that'll cost a minimum of ~$1500 for the basics and more like $2000-$2500 over that time to get the typical services desired. That is not the actual price, more like a down payment that the iPhone "owner" will end end up paying more for on a monthly basis. Break the contract and expect to be charged the remainder to pay off the phone. You will not find a newer iPhone without contract for $200.
 
2012-09-13 02:32:43 PM  

Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: RockChalkH1N1: whatshisname: Fun Fact #127: The new iPhone is so precious and fragile that if you drop it during normal use it's going to smash, so be sure to cover it in a protective housing which hides all the cool design you're paying $800 for.

$200 but close

The iPhone 4S costs $649 for th 16GB version, $849 for the 64GB.

The $200 is the carrier subsidized price if one signs a two year contract that'll cost a minimum of ~$1500 for the basics and more like $2000-$2500 over that time to get the typical services desired. That is not the actual price, more like a down payment that the iPhone "owner" will end end up paying more for on a monthly basis. Break the contract and expect to be charged the remainder to pay off the phone. You will not find a newer iPhone without contract for $200.


Yes. Because no one ever renews a contract for the same price they were paying and gets a new phone.

Heaven forbid we all not pay a month to month phone arrangement.
 
2012-09-13 02:34:56 PM  
I'm buying the Galaxy S III.
 
2012-09-13 02:35:51 PM  

Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: Break the contract and expect to be charged the remainder to pay off the phone.


AT&T - upgrade to new contract for $39 dollars, extend my 29.99 unlimited contract for another two years.
 
2012-09-13 02:43:46 PM  

kroonermanblack:
Yes. Because no one ever renews a contract for the same price they were paying and gets a new phone.

Heaven forbid we all not pay a month to month phone arrangement.


Not the discussion that was happening.

The down payment on a car is not the price of the car nor is the $199 down payment for an iPhone with contract the price of the iPhone.

clovis69: Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: Break the contract and expect to be charged the remainder to pay off the phone.

AT&T - upgrade to new contract for $39 dollars, extend my 29.99 unlimited contract for another two years.


Citation for the iPhone?

Word in the news is that AT&T has increased the break contract penalty for the iPhone to $325. The termination fee dropping every month as the price of the phone is recouped in the monthly bill.
 
2012-09-13 02:48:13 PM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: Apes that touch the glowing new mini-monolith are suddenly able to turn basic tools into weapons.

Does it have dimensions in a 1:4:9 ratio?

Apple might have to sue arthur c clarke and stanley kubrik for copyright infringement


I think they would be fine, the monolith didn't have rounded edges
 
2012-09-13 03:20:36 PM  

Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: kroonermanblack:
Yes. Because no one ever renews a contract for the same price they were paying and gets a new phone.

Heaven forbid we all not pay a month to month phone arrangement.

Not the discussion that was happening.

The down payment on a car is not the price of the car nor is the $199 down payment for an iPhone with contract the price of the iPhone.

clovis69: Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: Break the contract and expect to be charged the remainder to pay off the phone.

AT&T - upgrade to new contract for $39 dollars, extend my 29.99 unlimited contract for another two years.

Citation for the iPhone?

Word in the news is that AT&T has increased the break contract penalty for the iPhone to $325. The termination fee dropping every month as the price of the phone is recouped in the monthly bill.


Not so breaking news, I work for ATT and that has been the term fee for the Iphone since the 4 was released.
 
2012-09-13 04:11:33 PM  
Well, that IS a renewable resource.
 
2012-09-13 04:28:43 PM  
Apple is far too cool/non-mainstream/amazing in every way to worry about basic human rights.
 
2012-09-13 04:49:41 PM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: Apes that touch the glowing new mini-monolith are suddenly able to turn basic tools into weapons.

Does it have dimensions in a 1:4:9 ratio?

Apple might have to sue arthur c clarke and stanley kubrik for copyright infringement


It's pretty close to 1/2 : 4 : 9, actually.
 
2012-09-13 05:59:14 PM  

Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: kroonermanblack:
Yes. Because no one ever renews a contract for the same price they were paying and gets a new phone.

Heaven forbid we all not pay a month to month phone arrangement.

Not the discussion that was happening.

The down payment on a car is not the price of the car nor is the $199 down payment for an iPhone with contract the price of the iPhone.

clovis69: Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: Break the contract and expect to be charged the remainder to pay off the phone.

AT&T - upgrade to new contract for $39 dollars, extend my 29.99 unlimited contract for another two years.

Citation for the iPhone?

Word in the news is that AT&T has increased the break contract penalty for the iPhone to $325. The termination fee dropping every month as the price of the phone is recouped in the monthly bill.


That is entirely the conversation that is occurring. Almost no one buys a phone and then applies it to a contract. Yes, I'm farking sure you do now shut up. Most people simply sign a contract and pay, treating the phone as a monthly expense no different than a cable or water or electric bill. They aren't going to kill the phone so it's become a utility.

Again, this is for most people. I'm sure you're unique and better than we are.

As such, the price of the phone WITH contract is the one to discuss. Anyone with half a ficking brain knows the price is amortized to the monthly bill, and that the 'buy alone' price is stupidly high to encourage contracts.

It's deliberately misleading at best to say 'derp rel prise is 2000 cuse thart b whart u piy 4 munfs fo contract'
 
2012-09-13 06:02:19 PM  

azazyel: Well one thing about the new iPhone, we're going to have to restructure our apps to fit the new design. Shouldn't be too hard but it's going to take time and $.


Fragmentation's a biatch if you don't have an OS with structured layouts.
 
2012-09-13 06:03:53 PM  

kroonermanblack: That is entirely the conversation that is occurring. Almost no one buys a phone and then applies it to a contract. Yes, I'm farking sure you do now shut up. Most people simply sign a contract and pay, treating the phone as a monthly expense no different than a cable or water or electric bill. They aren't going to kill the phone so it's become a utility.


But the only way to easily compare phones is on the price without contract, because the features of contracts are different.
 
2012-09-13 06:52:52 PM  

Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: RockChalkH1N1: whatshisname: Fun Fact #127: The new iPhone is so precious and fragile that if you drop it during normal use it's going to smash, so be sure to cover it in a protective housing which hides all the cool design you're paying $800 for.

$200 but close

The iPhone 4S costs $649 for th 16GB version, $849 for the 64GB.

The $200 is the carrier subsidized price if one signs a two year contract that'll cost a minimum of ~$1500 for the basics and more like $2000-$2500 over that time to get the typical services desired. That is not the actual price, more like a down payment that the iPhone "owner" will end end up paying more for on a monthly basis. Break the contract and expect to be charged the remainder to pay off the phone. You will not find a newer iPhone without contract for $200.


All that for a phone that costs $8 to make.
 
2012-09-13 08:23:40 PM  

fusillade762: Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: RockChalkH1N1: whatshisname: Fun Fact #127: The new iPhone is so precious and fragile that if you drop it during normal use it's going to smash, so be sure to cover it in a protective housing which hides all the cool design you're paying $800 for.

$200 but close

The iPhone 4S costs $649 for th 16GB version, $849 for the 64GB.

The $200 is the carrier subsidized price if one signs a two year contract that'll cost a minimum of ~$1500 for the basics and more like $2000-$2500 over that time to get the typical services desired. That is not the actual price, more like a down payment that the iPhone "owner" will end end up paying more for on a monthly basis. Break the contract and expect to be charged the remainder to pay off the phone. You will not find a newer iPhone without contract for $200.

All that for a phone that costs $8 to make.


Pretty sure it costs more then that. Here's a breakdown of cost for an iPhone 4S
 
2012-09-13 10:36:05 PM  
These things are no longer 'Geek'

All the iPhone, iPad, tablet 'gadget' bullshiat needs to get off the geek tab and move to the main page because everybody is doing this shiat.

There is no longer a special level of intellect to use these devices and is widely excepted by everyone and everything. I can pick up a box of Crackers these days and sign into my Facebook account. Doing that does not make me a geek it makes me the average dick head who thought he was living in the future when toilet paper was invented.
 
2012-09-14 12:50:06 AM  

Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: From the comments: "That is too funny. Can't wait to have mine. :D"

I never cease to be amazed how someone can read an entire article, but completely miss the point.


Really? Because you did it too.
 
2012-09-14 06:49:49 AM  

kroonermanblack: Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: kroonermanblack:
Yes. Because no one ever renews a contract for the same price they were paying and gets a new phone.

Heaven forbid we all not pay a month to month phone arrangement.

Not the discussion that was happening.

The down payment on a car is not the price of the car nor is the $199 down payment for an iPhone with contract the price of the iPhone.

clovis69: Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: Break the contract and expect to be charged the remainder to pay off the phone.

AT&T - upgrade to new contract for $39 dollars, extend my 29.99 unlimited contract for another two years.

Citation for the iPhone?

Word in the news is that AT&T has increased the break contract penalty for the iPhone to $325. The termination fee dropping every month as the price of the phone is recouped in the monthly bill.

That is entirely the conversation that is occurring. Almost no one buys a phone and then applies it to a contract. Yes, I'm farking sure you do now shut up. Most people simply sign a contract and pay, treating the phone as a monthly expense no different than a cable or water or electric bill. They aren't going to kill the phone so it's become a utility.

Again, this is for most people. I'm sure you're unique and better than we are.

As such, the price of the phone WITH contract is the one to discuss. Anyone with half a ficking brain knows the price is amortized to the monthly bill, and that the 'buy alone' price is stupidly high to encourage contracts.

It's deliberately misleading at best to say 'derp rel prise is 2000 cuse thart b whart u piy 4 munfs fo contract'


you know that money you pay, that`s MONEY. There is the price for a basic contract and then there is a surcharge for the handset. If you take the cost of the contract from the cost you pay then there is some left over. That is what you paid for the handset. Am I going too fast for you? Now, you CAN get contracts without a handset and, guess what, they are cheaper. So, to work out how much you paid for the handset you take the initial price paid ($200) and then add on the number you got from taking the price you pay monthly and subtracting the price you would have paid without the handset. Multiply this by the length of your contract and VOILA! You now have the price you paid for the handset.

In the UK for example you would pay £20 per month extra on a 24 month contract to get an iphone 4s and the latest Iphone usually works out £25 per month extra compared to a sim only plan.

That`s £480-£600 on top of the £100 up front for the basic Iphone5 as well as not being able to upgrade to the next Iphone next year.

It's deliberately misleading at best to say 'derp rel prise is 200 cuse thart b whart u piy b4 munfs fo contract'
 
2012-09-14 09:28:37 AM  
From the comments:

"I heard Apple is suing itself for $1B because the
iPhone-5 looks so similar to iPhone 4S."

It's only fair...
 
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