bingethinker: IT people: Don't talk to me like I'm a retard just because I don't know how to do your job. You couldn't do the on-computer part of my job without years of training. And with your poor interpersonal skills, you couldn't do my job at all.
Because People in power are Stupid: Dimensio: Because People in power are Stupid: Rockstone: Well, to be fair, the IT staff at my High School was questionable.We got free Laptops (public school), but they broke all the time. The person in charge of repair only had one solution to every problem the laptop had- reformat."Monitor is cracked? Reformat""You say the RAM is bad? Reformat"If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.(That guy needed a hammer so that he could add to his arsenal.)Of what use would a hammer be should the technician not be a hammer person?From an IT support perspective, you could just lay it down on a table amidst the office. Perhaps have special instructions located somewhere in the customer support script where the support personnel describe the use of a hammer and suggest it's use to someone who has a problem with their laptop. They could just be on the phone with some customer. They may use the physical device to describe it to the person they're helping and then tell them to get one. The call would almost be done at the point when they get the user to pry apart their laptop and start beating the different components with the dull end. As a final step, have them ship the broken device back to the manufacturer (Customer support level II). Within weeks the manufacturer will replace the malfunctioning device (with a surcharge) and the whole process will reset itself.
puppetmaster745: I have been thinking about doing data recovery and side repair jobs. What's the protocol if you find pron of the underage nature?
Silvyrbug: I do online support for a known ISP. Basically our customers call in for support, the only restrictions are 1--we must be able to connect to the customers computer with a hardline, and 2--we cant work on the LAN drivers(cust calling in because they need to connect their laptop to the wifi)me: Sir, can you connect your laptop to the router with a network cable?cust ; Oh its connected...me: excellent, open up internet explorer pleasecust: but i dont have an internet connectionme: even with your laptop connected to the router with a cable?cust: its wireless, it doesnt need a cable(facepalm)or going thru 30 minutes of getting remotely connected to customer, checking the router and computer, only to find the wifi switch is off, then arguing for 30 minutes with said customer about the existence of a wifi switch, only to hear 20 minutes later, 'oh whats this button do?' then see the graphic on the screen as the wifi suddenly oes on, and the laptop "magically" connects just the other night i had gone through 45 minutes of a customer troubleshooting as the cal progressed, i found the customer really had no idea what i meant by instructions like:right clickdrag and drophit the "enter"key (no lie)open your browserclose your browserrebootim convinced most people shouldnt own a PC, shouldnt own a smartphone, and should just have 2 cans on a string, or bang 2 rocks togeter
dramboxf: I cannot believe the left out the utter classic!Is the Internet down?
Hiro Nakamura: I guarantee that a maintenance pilot isnt going to belittle and criticize a pilot that can't diagnose a problem with a component he's barely aware exists, let alone isnt qualified to maintain.
Gonz: puppetmaster745: I have been thinking about doing data recovery and side repair jobs. What's the protocol if you find pron of the underage nature?FBI, immediately. No exceptions. If you're my friend, and I find kid prawns on your machine that you asked me to fix for you, you're no longer my friend. I'm not talking about a picture of someone who might be 17, I'm talking about seeing something where I immediately say "hey, that's a kid".I'll tell a really, really farked-up story sometime about finding CP on a laptop. Just don't have it in me this morning.
puppetmaster745: Gonz: puppetmaster745: I have been thinking about doing data recovery and side repair jobs. What's the protocol if you find pron of the underage nature?FBI, immediately. No exceptions. If you're my friend, and I find kid prawns on your machine that you asked me to fix for you, you're no longer my friend. I'm not talking about a picture of someone who might be 17, I'm talking about seeing something where I immediately say "hey, that's a kid".I'll tell a really, really farked-up story sometime about finding CP on a laptop. Just don't have it in me this morning.Try to remember to page me when you tell it. I'm sure it's not a CSB, but sounds interesting.I was under the impression that if you are in possession in any way of said material, you are in trouble. I'm afraid of how a phone call to the FBI saying that you are in possession of a PC with CP on it would turn out.There was a news story out a couple of years ago IIRC about someone getting in trouble after reporting unknowingly getting CP in a torrent. I'm afraid to even do the google search to find the story.I should emphasize that this is not something that I am having to deal with right now, this is just a hypothetical.
Villemus Fortis: Them: the Internet is down.Me: no it's not.Them: yes it is.Me: No it's not.Them: yes it is.Me: no it's not. your connection to the internet is down, but the Internet is up.
Celerian: I would imagine that if you are not the owner of the system that has the stuff on it, it would not be you that gets into trouble.
Grither: farking dick
fluffy2097: And this is why you get the run around all day long.
Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I do some on the side repair jobs (mostly friends-of-friends to get a little extra spending cash), and I ALWAYS ask "Is there going to be anything I don't WANT to find (porn)?"Answer: "No, I don't look at that stuff"If they lied, it costs extra AND I take a screenshot of the offending item for my collection. It goes in my "Oh Internet" folder.
Grither: Hey purposefully obtuse, socially inept, sex-starved, pizza-faced nerd! Fix my computer
Glenford: What about the moronic answers that we users get from the "help" desk? My two favourites are:1. Hang on while I google that2. I dunno, have you tried re-booting it?
leftteffticle: Truth.. it amuses me to no end that people think I am some kind of a superwoman, genius, or magician because I can do things for them that are extremely simple (to me) but insurmountable tasks to them. I work for a university so I'm generally dealing with a pool of PhD students and professors (which, I know, I know.. doesn't mean they're actually intelligent, but they're SmartTM) and it's basically the greatest thing when some Important Guy gushes over me for 5 minutes because I rebooted his computer and things worked again or something like that.
Tom_Slick: The worst call I ever got was when I was working for MCI, this was in 1998, the call went like this, "Our entire network is down, nobody can find the server, the printers are all offline, and I can't get my e-mail."My response was Oh shiat./A lightening strike in the night had wiped out the hub and 12 network cards. Everyone in that department got to take a 4 hour lunch that day.
wmoonfox: xnecron: Also, #2 is bullshiat.Most users live in fear of a software or hardware refresh.There were pretty much two distinct categories with my users: the people for whom an upgrade would make the least impact (finance, management, etc.) were always chomping at the bit for the latest hardware, while the people who would benefit the most from such an upgrade (developers, road techs, etc.) were utterly horrified at the notion.
Gone In 26 Minutes: I've been doing this for about 10 years. Some people just need you to confirm things or push a button. After a while, you learn who knows what they're talking about by their tone and their word usage. Sometimes they DO know what they're doing, but they just can't do it because they are physically incapable of doing so without admin rights or because it's just out of their hands (ISP issues especially.)
Occam's Nailfile: Here's an idea:When we call in with an issue, don't start with the assumption that we're completely retarded. We might actually save you time if you ask us, or allow us to tell you, the actual farking symptoms of the problem.I know for damned sure that if I can ping-t my router, and your router, and don't drop any packets, but can't trace any farther out, the problem isn't a farking loose ethernet jack. If I can ping any external IP from a command prompt, but not any external website, the problem is not going to be solved by upgrading my farking browser. If I can surf every website in the world besides our corporate site, have cleared my caches, and the problem exists no matter what PC or device I tried to use, and no matter what network I use it from, "you must have done something" isn't a logical farking reponse! If I can't get to my website, can't get to any other websites hosted on the same shared server, but can get to every other website on earth, I can guaran-farking-tee you that the problem is not my farking network card.
Grither: And fortunately, the IT dept at my job is manned by socially well adjusted, friendly people. That's what you get when you pay good money for them. I just find the whiners in this thread with the maturity of a 12 year old to be ridiculous.
Mr_Fabulous: Oh great, one of these threads again. Wah! I'm being paid to provide a service and some people actually need my help. Wah! I hate being actually useful, I'd rather be a snotty, entitled perpetual adolescent because I know how something works and you don't. Wah!News flash... Everybody working in the service economy is doing something for clueless clients who probably should know better, yet don't. It's why we keep bringing home paychecks; it's why we're needed in the first place. Get over yourself.
Grither: Villemus Fortis: Them: the Internet is down.Me: no it's not.Them: yes it is.Me: No it's not.Them: yes it is.Me: no it's not. your connection to the internet is down, but the Internet is up.See, this is why you're an IT helpdesk douchebag.
Optimal_Illusion: Mr_Fabulous: Oh great, one of these threads again. Wah! I'm being paid to provide a service and some people actually need my help. Wah! I hate being actually useful, I'd rather be a snotty, entitled perpetual adolescent because I know how something works and you don't. Wah!News flash... Everybody working in the service economy is doing something for clueless clients who probably should know better, yet don't. It's why we keep bringing home paychecks; it's why we're needed in the first place. Get over yourself.You ever work their job? Experience the things they have to go through, the rampant block-headery that will eventually wear at the most resolute, tolerant, saintly patience? You count yourself lucky you weren't saddled with some of the greatest boneheads that others have had to suffer. I have been witness to such levels of unrepentant stupidity, that it would have made both Ghandi and Mother Teresa eat a box of kittens. And I don't even do that kind of work, but have been there to see the wanting to reach through a phone line to strangle. Get over your own self, be thankful someone recognized you can't handle the really insane things the better qualified have had to bang their brains up against, and then go stick your head in a pig. To quote Orson, "No amount of money is worth this......"
Girion47: I did the job, and everyone complaining sounds like whiny biatches.
wmoonfox: Girion47: I did the job, and everyone complaining sounds like whiny biatches.I've done a lot of hiring for the job, and you sound like the guy with the BA who only got his foot in the door because he's related to a VP.
Because People in power are Stupid: Mikey1969: Because People in power are Stupid: YixilTesiphon: Because People in power are Stupid: YixilTesiphon: TsarTom: "I'm legally blind, but I'm a confident and fiercely independent woman. I'm new on this job and I DON'T want anyone thinking they made a bad hire, so don't even ask me to bring in a co-worker. I can't see my screen beyond a slight glow and have literally never worked with computers before. Now then, I'm told that our monthly reports are not uploading correctly, and that is all I know. What do I have to do to fix it?"The call that lasted FOREVER.Come on, you can't leave us hanging like that. Did you immediately send an email to her supervisor? What happened?Yeah, hopefully she got fired for being handicapped. Those people have all the advantages of special parking (Damned government intervention). What business did she have calling a technical support line anyways?I know everything I say makes you foam at the mouth with rage, but are you suggesting that they should have kept a woman who can't use a computer at this job which requires using a computer?When I worked at a hospital in Phoenix, we had a speech pathologist who was blind. Most people who are blind need to learn how to solve things by themselves, so that when there is nobody around to help _ they are not dead in the water.I do believe that she had to take extensive notes on a computer as part of her job. Her blindness was not the whole of what defined her career.That being said, the idea that some technical support person from some company should try to get some blind person fired because helping them is inconvenient -is repulsive... Kinda like your worldview.This one is a tough call... Yes, if she misrepresented herself, then she shouldn't have a job, but at the same time, disabled people have to work twice as hard to prove that they are not a liability that this woman may have just been overcompensating. She still should have had a sighted person around to help verify stuff. Just ...Here's the deal. A speech pathologist is not an everyday sort of "schlub job". They are actually quite professional and there is more of an art to it than let's say -delivering margaritas to drunks. In fact it requires the ability to detect pathology by using your ears. Some people are better at it than others.That being said, this person is pretty much on the "needed" level as a nurse or a physical therapist. So if that person needs specialized help with using a computer -then she should get it.Now, if the people misrepresenting their skills with technical support can't provide support to someone because they are blind -then they should advertise it or at least display it in their contract. Otherwise, spend the farkin' time with the blind person to help them.
Babwa Wawa: UberDave: I can see those as annoying but are they really that big of a deal? Most are simple to solve. The calls that should be "dreaded" are the ones that are legitimate but they can't solveYeah, this is just a sysadmin biatch list. You want to know what I dread? "The data center's on fire".
Vaneshi: Babwa Wawa: UberDave: I can see those as annoying but are they really that big of a deal? Most are simple to solve. The calls that should be "dreaded" are the ones that are legitimate but they can't solveYeah, this is just a sysadmin biatch list. You want to know what I dread? "The data center's on fire".I've actually had THAT call (or something similar).Two guys with JCB's went through both of the grid feeds. The relay to control the battery backup went spastic and started flipping between the two packs and as the packs had power it never failed over to the generators.A whole data centre dead. That one was FUN.
Babwa Wawa: I used to run a data center for the military, and we'd have to give tours. An air force colonel hit the EPO one day because he figured he'd drill us on an emergency.What an asshole.
If you like these links, you'll love
All the submissions, none of the calories.
Sign up for the Fark NotNewsletter!
Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.
Also on Fark
Submit a Link »
Copyright © 1999 - 2018 Fark, Inc | Last updated: Jan 23 2018 00:06:32
Runtime: 0.621 sec (620 ms)