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(SFGate)   God is your angry Republican Grandpa   (blog.sfgate.com) divider line 88
    More: Spiffy, Republican Grandpa, god, political conventions  
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3522 clicks; posted to Politics » on 13 Sep 2012 at 8:58 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-13 08:03:36 AM
That's not God.....just Fox News and your angry Republican Grandpa. It's OK, the confusion is understandable; most of the time they believe that they're God.

/They're also the reason that God seems like such an asshole
 
2012-09-13 08:09:12 AM
This is a bad article. I am a Taliban-level atheist and I think this. It's just poorly presented.
 
2012-09-13 08:10:24 AM
God does nothing but laze about the couch with a golden iPad, tracking how many times He's mentioned on television, who won the Packers game, how often you watch porn or say something nice to a gay person, and who commits more acts of guilt-addled fear in his glorious name.

I think he out-sources that work to the church and Fox News now.
 
2012-09-13 08:12:52 AM

PC LOAD LETTER: This is a bad article. I am a Taliban-level atheist and I think this. It's just poorly presented.


The headline is "God the insufferable jerk"; what did you expect Pulitzer level investigative journalism?
 
2012-09-13 08:50:59 AM
FTFA: The Republicans, as you might expect, had a conniption fit at the Dems' omission, to the point where Mitt Romney actually suggested that the president secretly wants to remove "God" from our national identity, our currency, our scared and angry America, and replace him with... I'm not sure who. Kobe Bryant or something. Horror!

Hmm. This would make an interesting survey. Who should we replace "God" with? Scarlett Johansson? Bill Clinton? Drew??
 
2012-09-13 08:52:30 AM

PC LOAD LETTER: This is a bad article. I am a Taliban-level atheist and I think this. It's just poorly presented.


Agreed. The author is trying waaaaay too hard.

...wait. Taliban-level atheist? Do you go around blowing up embassies while shouting "PRAISE BE TO SCIENCE!! LULULULULULULULULULU!!!!" When R'Money wins the presidency, you're in BIG TROUBLE, MISTER
 
2012-09-13 09:07:56 AM
Your blog sucks
 
2012-09-13 09:09:09 AM
Popcorn.gif
 
2012-09-13 09:10:11 AM

PC LOAD LETTER: This is a bad article. I am a Taliban-level atheist and I think this. It's just poorly presented.


Why? You realize his isn't really an article dissing God,right? It's about the GOP using God as a brand.
 
2012-09-13 09:13:12 AM
I am delighted to report God still appears to be a bit of an unbearable twit.

So are you, douchebag.

/atheist
 
2012-09-13 09:13:21 AM

PC LOAD LETTER: This is a bad article. I am a Taliban-level atheist and I think this. It's just poorly presented.


Say what you will but I think the author of the article made a really good case for the Shotguns & Slimjims party.
 
2012-09-13 09:15:27 AM
FTA: And what of the Democrats? They only mentioned God once during their convention, maybe, in passing, sort of under their breath, and apparently completely forgot the part about Jerusalem being the capital of Godlandia. Can you believe it? If there's one thing God cares about most in the eternal flux of the vast and impenetrable universe, it's regional cartography. And college football.

F*ck all you haters. This is good, good stuff.
 
2012-09-13 09:16:14 AM

Lost Thought 00: Your blog sucks


and stolen from The Daily Show
 
2012-09-13 09:18:15 AM
That's some weapons grade sarcasm.
 
2012-09-13 09:18:18 AM

PC LOAD LETTER: This is a bad article. I am a Taliban-level atheist and I think this. It's just poorly presented.


Well you gotta agree on the Fox News angle. They've turned the Lord into a fark troll who get annoyed when he doesn't get quoted often enough.

Now if you really want to see how God is a jerk, then go and reconcile the fact that His Bible clearly states that the earth is 6000 years old and that evolution does not occur, but all the evidence from His Creation that He left for His people to look at indicates the complete opposite.
 
2012-09-13 09:18:20 AM

James F. Campbell: FTA: And what of the Democrats? They only mentioned God once during their convention, maybe, in passing, sort of under their breath, and apparently completely forgot the part about Jerusalem being the capital of Godlandia. Can you believe it? If there's one thing God cares about most in the eternal flux of the vast and impenetrable universe, it's regional cartography. And college football.

F*ck all you haters. This is good, good stuff.


I agree. I'm amazed that so many are going to pretend they don't get the point of the article.
 
2012-09-13 09:18:22 AM
My grandpa was a staunch Democrat, so this really doesn't apply...
 
2012-09-13 09:18:41 AM
I think the author has good intentions but is missing the point.

God in America has nothing to do with the Bible, but the natural outcome of our puritan attitudes. God is just a convenient way to keep the repressed from acting out with the vague hope that somehow, down the line, that those who aren't repressed will somehow be punished and that being repressed is the 'proper' way to live. Of course, it's a con: you're not really going to be able to complain about God or Jesus not existing when you're a very large decomposing body, are you? And thus, we get the point of the American God in all of its glory: a very nice way to repress people for their entire lives by holding their own fear of death over their heads, and a nice way to get people to act just the way you want out of shame and a combined fear of death acting as a barrier.

In a way, I think we've got the science vs. religion thing all wrong. It's more like Freedom (actual freedom, not whatever term repressed people use when screaming out their jealousy masked with a thin veneer of religion) vs. Repression, and the latter--being prone to fear-based tactics and hence know how well they can work--using anything they can to keep up the fear so their own fear can be legitimate in some perverse way, as if it would be okay to be repressed as long as others are repressed. At it's heart, like most American behavior, it's all based in some perverse form of jealousy and Crab Theory.
 
2012-09-13 09:19:55 AM

PC LOAD LETTER: This is a bad article. I am a Taliban-level atheist and I think this. It's just poorly presented.


It seems to be an attempt at satire: "this is the sort of asshole God would be if he cared about the petty shiat the derp brigade claim he cares about", but it's just... not well executed. At all.
 
2012-09-13 09:21:10 AM
Trying to rationalize America's relationship with religion is a losing cause. The words one would use to persuade one way, just reinforce the other. That's the nature of religiosity.
 
2012-09-13 09:21:38 AM
Okay, the article kind of sucks. Let me sum up:

"Isn't it funny how when a person is telling you what God wants, it always coincides exactly with what they want?"
 
2012-09-13 09:22:54 AM

James F. Campbell: FTA: And what of the Democrats? They only mentioned God once during their convention, maybe, in passing, sort of under their breath, and apparently completely forgot the part about Jerusalem being the capital of Godlandia. Can you believe it? If there's one thing God cares about most in the eternal flux of the vast and impenetrable universe, it's regional cartography. And college football.

F*ck all you haters. This is good, good stuff.


I think people got turned off after the first half of the article before they could get to the meat of the second half... The problem is that the meat IS a little light. He spends a lot of time making fun of our(tm) idea of god, and it's pretty funny, but the article's actual point he doesn't really delve too deeply into.
 
2012-09-13 09:23:06 AM
It appears the author of the article is sort of god-like, himself.
 
2012-09-13 09:23:08 AM
I guess I'm lucky. My family is pretty apolitical as a whole. I've never heard my grandparents or my parents utter a strong political opinion one way or the other, aside from a general contempt for all politicians.

My in-laws, on the other hand, are your stereotypical Fox News-watching, email-forwarding, military-worshipping Republicans. At least they've come around on the issue of gay rights, which I consider a big deal for them.
 
2012-09-13 09:23:19 AM
Wow. That was kinda excellent.
 
2012-09-13 09:24:33 AM

Karac: His Bible clearly states that the earth is 6000 years old


[citation needed]

It's something you hear a lot, that the Bible says the Earth/universe is 6,000 years old, but do you realize that that's based on the Jewish calendar and not from Biblical text? I know, right - how weird is it that a common perception among modern American pan-Christianity is at odds with their own Holy Book?
 
2012-09-13 09:25:52 AM
I worship Republican Jesus.
 
2012-09-13 09:26:18 AM

PanicMan: Okay, the article kind of sucks. Let me sum up:

"Isn't it funny how when a person is telling you what God wants, it always coincides exactly with what they want?"


Or, when you assign petty attributes to God, God becomes petty.
 
2012-09-13 09:26:53 AM
Lifted the Onion's God photo, I see.
 
2012-09-13 09:29:07 AM
Ummmm... this got a green light?
Yeah, I am not missing the TF account
 
2012-09-13 09:30:56 AM

shastacola: PanicMan: Okay, the article kind of sucks. Let me sum up:

"Isn't it funny how when a person is telling you what God wants, it always coincides exactly with what they want?"

Or, when you assign petty attributes to God, God becomes petty.


That works too.
 
2012-09-13 09:33:06 AM

Dr Dreidel: Karac: His Bible clearly states that the earth is 6000 years old

[citation needed]

It's something you hear a lot, that the Bible says the Earth/universe is 6,000 years old, but do you realize that that's based on the Jewish calendar and not from Biblical text? I know, right - how weird is it that a common perception among modern American pan-Christianity is at odds with their own Holy Book?


Pfft, next crazy thing you'll spew is that the Mayans are wrong and the world isn't ending in 3 months.
 
2012-09-13 09:33:40 AM

Dr Dreidel: Karac: His Bible clearly states that the earth is 6000 years old

[citation needed]

It's something you hear a lot, that the Bible says the Earth/universe is 6,000 years old, but do you realize that that's based on the Jewish calendar and not from Biblical text? I know, right - how weird is it that a common perception among modern American pan-Christianity is at odds with their own Holy Book?


[citation granted]
 
2012-09-13 09:41:44 AM

Tarl3k: My grandpa was a staunch Democrat, so this really doesn't apply...


One of my grandpas was sorta Republican. Of course, it was only to the extent he was also sorta "Irish" and "Army".
 
2012-09-13 09:42:34 AM

PanicMan: shastacola: PanicMan: Okay, the article kind of sucks. Let me sum up:

"Isn't it funny how when a person is telling you what God wants, it always coincides exactly with what they want?"

Or, when you assign petty attributes to God, God becomes petty.

That works too.


God is whatever people want him to be. That's the beauty of it. A complete blank canvas for people to project their own desires and morals and prejudices upon.

When you make up an imaginary entity that's that's in every way invisible, unobservable, and immeasurable, it can be whatever you want it to be.
 
2012-09-13 09:44:51 AM

Karac: [citation granted]


A citation to Conservapedia, whose first two citations (24-28, in case you're curious) for the "6,000 year-old" claim contain zero instances of the number "6,000" (or "6000") on the pages. And, by the way, would STILL be in error, as there is no timeline established in Genesis 1-2 other than Adam's age, which may not be a good measuring stick.

I hope you're trolling, because you'd get 100 Troll Points for getting me to click a Conservapedia link. If not, we can have a bit more serious discussion about why the 6,000 year old claim isn't accepted by many Jews, even from a thousand years ago (and I'm speaking here of Orthodoxy).
 
2012-09-13 09:45:54 AM

Voiceofreason01: That's not God.....just Fox News and your angry Republican Grandpa. It's OK, the confusion is understandable; most of the time they believe that they're God.

/They're also the reason that God seems like such an asshole


Having read the bible and having a non-negligible history education, gotta say that the Abrahamic god has been an asshole about 3000 to 4000 years longer than the GOP and television have existed. He's the god of baby-murdering and natural-disastering, and the only improvement Christianity and Islam brought was toning it down to regular murdering and political disastering in the form of always supporting the most heinous form of government possible in return for money.

I know some of you guys like to say that your religion (assuming Christianity, statistically either that or Islam) is totally cool nowadays and the bad ones are aberrations, but given the entire history of the religions and the fact that much more than half of Christians even in most first-world nations self-identify as fundamentalists... you'll forgive us for not buying that for a damned second.
 
2012-09-13 09:46:02 AM

Doc Daneeka: PanicMan: shastacola: PanicMan: Okay, the article kind of sucks. Let me sum up:

"Isn't it funny how when a person is telling you what God wants, it always coincides exactly with what they want?"

Or, when you assign petty attributes to God, God becomes petty.

That works too.

God is whatever people want him to be. That's the beauty of it. A complete blank canvas for people to project their own desires and morals and prejudices upon.

When you make up an imaginary entity that's that's in every way invisible, unobservable, and immeasurable, it can be whatever you want it to be.


As long as we agree that the blank canvas of religion can be and had been co-opted for political power, which is exactly what the article is saying.
 
2012-09-13 09:48:29 AM

Dr Dreidel: Karac: [citation granted]

A citation to Conservapedia, whose first two citations (24-28, in case you're curious) for the "6,000 year-old" claim contain zero instances of the number "6,000" (or "6000") on the pages. And, by the way, would STILL be in error, as there is no timeline established in Genesis 1-2 other than Adam's age, which may not be a good measuring stick.

I hope you're trolling, because you'd get 100 Troll Points for getting me to click a Conservapedia link.


Oh, sorry. Here's the right link. My bad.

Did you really think someone offering a citation for young earth creationism wasn't just having fun? Did you think I was a Bevets alt?
 
2012-09-13 09:49:32 AM

shastacola: Doc Daneeka: PanicMan: shastacola: PanicMan: Okay, the article kind of sucks. Let me sum up:

"Isn't it funny how when a person is telling you what God wants, it always coincides exactly with what they want?"

Or, when you assign petty attributes to God, God becomes petty.

That works too.

God is whatever people want him to be. That's the beauty of it. A complete blank canvas for people to project their own desires and morals and prejudices upon.

When you make up an imaginary entity that's that's in every way invisible, unobservable, and immeasurable, it can be whatever you want it to be.

As long as we agree that the blank canvas of religion can be and had been co-opted for political power, which is exactly what the article is saying.


"Co-opted" for political power???

Hell, that's why religion was invented in the first place.
 
2012-09-13 09:50:54 AM

Karac: Did you really think someone offering a citation for young earth creationism wasn't just having fun? Did you think I was a Bevets alt?


No, but a 5-letter handle that starts with 'K'...I thought you might be a true believer. I think I potentially had you confused with someone else, but wanted to know for sure.

// and no, you didn't catch me (Rick)rollin'
// I assume that's what that link was
 
2012-09-13 10:02:46 AM
The man that prays in silence is often much more pious than the man making sure to be seen sitting in the front row grandstanding during church.
 
2012-09-13 10:08:12 AM

Aidan: He spends a lot of time making fun of our(tm) idea of god, and it's pretty funny, but the article's actual point he doesn't really delve too deeply into.


He is a man who is getting too old for this shiat. A man who doesn't want to live on this planet anymore. A man who is sick and tired of these motherfarking fundamentalists in his motherfarking country.

I know how he feels.
 
2012-09-13 10:14:10 AM
My angry grandpa is more of a small government guy, he hates the republicans.
 
2012-09-13 10:14:47 AM

Guntram Shatterhand: I think the author has good intentions but is missing the point.

God in America has nothing to do with the Bible, but the natural outcome of our puritan attitudes. God is just a convenient way to keep the repressed from acting out with the vague hope that somehow, down the line, that those who aren't repressed will somehow be punished and that being repressed is the 'proper' way to live. Of course, it's a con: you're not really going to be able to complain about God or Jesus not existing when you're a very large decomposing body, are you? And thus, we get the point of the American God in all of its glory: a very nice way to repress people for their entire lives by holding their own fear of death over their heads, and a nice way to get people to act just the way you want out of shame and a combined fear of death acting as a barrier..


I think this is his point. Well one of them.
 
2012-09-13 10:15:08 AM
Both of my grandfathers were Democrats. Both were Union members.
 
2012-09-13 10:18:50 AM

madgordy: Both of my grandfathers were Democrats. Both were Union members.


My dad's father (mom's dad died when she was 2) was a union member (teachers'), an insurance salesman, a Staff Sergeant (Army Air Corps, WWII) - honorably discharged, and wondered if Obama was Muslim.

He still voted for him enthusiastically. Because my granddad was the kind who really didn't care who you are as long as you're intelligent and didn't start any shiat.
 
2012-09-13 10:21:24 AM
"In the hope of keeping him quiet for a few hours Freddy & I have bet Randolph 20 [pounds sterling] that he cannot read the whole Bible in a fortnight. It would have been worth it at the price. Unhappily it has not had the result we hoped. He has never read any of it before and is hideously excited; keeps reading quotations aloud `I say I bet you didn't know this came in the Bible "bring down my grey hairs in sorrow to the grave'" or merely slapping his side & chortling `God, isn't God a shiat!'"

-Letter from Evelyn Waugh to Nancy Mitford about Winston Churchill's son, Randolph.
 
2012-09-13 10:27:38 AM
My angry Republican grandpa didn't exist, so....
 
2012-09-13 10:41:36 AM
Most people pass through similar stages of emotional and intellectual development. Some get stuck in one and never progress.

Which brings us to Mark Morford. Many of us had that phase, for about a semester in college, where we tried to write in a Hunter S. Thompson-esque style. A few even pulled it off. Then we moved on.

Morford didn't.

I generally agree with whatever fairly obvious point he's trying to make, but his tone is just insufferable.
 
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