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(NW Florida Daily News)   Couple accused of shoplifting two fishing rods, a fishing book, a postcard, a paper cutter, a license holder, Fritos bean dip, pink jeans, a blouse, a keychain lanyard, nail polish, two rubber magnets, four photo magnets, and binder clips   (nwfdailynews.com) divider line 41
    More: Florida, Wal-Mart, binder clip  
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2781 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Sep 2012 at 5:28 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-09-13 02:02:47 AM  
Finally, some reasonable thefts.
 
2012-09-13 02:04:43 AM  
And a partridge in a pear tree.
 
2012-09-13 02:05:13 AM  
Slim Pickens...

Vegas... etc
 
2012-09-13 02:29:39 AM  
Someone entirely missed the point of a scavenger hunt.
 
2012-09-13 02:42:08 AM  
Sounds like a case of eclectomania.
 
2012-09-13 05:37:34 AM  
if you're not going to pay, rob Kohl's, Target or some other department store that is considered upscale. they should have nicer quality goods.
 
2012-09-13 05:39:22 AM  
I hung out with some kids in high school who went on a spree one night. They stole candy bars, magazines, beer and a whole tub of beef jerky.
 
2012-09-13 05:39:42 AM  
"A fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that..."
 
2012-09-13 05:41:15 AM  
Were they caught in the vicinity of a liquor store, trying to decide how best to sneak out a case of beer?

Perhaps they were apprehended while casing boats at the local pier.
 
2012-09-13 05:45:53 AM  

KrispyKritter: if you're not going to pay, rob Kohl's, Target or some other department store that is considered upscale. they should have nicer quality goods.


Eh.....Kohls is not all that.
 
2012-09-13 05:50:08 AM  
One of the alleged shoplifters:

hollywoodhatesme.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-09-13 06:11:12 AM  
four fried chickens and a coke
 
2012-09-13 06:55:38 AM  
For some reason that description reminds me of Dr Seuss.
 
2012-09-13 06:57:49 AM  

sobernutz: KrispyKritter: if you're not going to pay, rob Kohl's, Target or some other department store that is considered upscale. they should have nicer quality goods.

Eh.....Kohls is not all that.


i've never been, just heard about them. went to a Target's once, scared the hell out of me. very large, well lit, clean, lots of inventory. people everywhere. ack! i like buying on the internet as much as possible. too many people in public places.
 
2012-09-13 07:00:06 AM  
I've been caught stealing once
When I was five
 
2012-09-13 07:37:22 AM  

Cheron: four fried chickens and a coke


And some dry white toast, please.
 
2012-09-13 07:56:58 AM  
Paper cutter?

To Gitmo with them, stat.
 
2012-09-13 08:01:17 AM  
I don't know what you have planned for tonight, but you can count me out.
 
2012-09-13 08:06:56 AM  

KrispyKritter: sobernutz: KrispyKritter: if you're not going to pay, rob Kohl's, Target or some other department store that is considered upscale. they should have nicer quality goods.

Eh.....Kohls is not all that.

i've never been, just heard about them. went to a Target's once, scared the hell out of me. very large, well lit, clean, lots of inventory. people everywhere. ack! i like buying on the internet as much as possible. too many people in public places.


Used to do loss prevention for them. It never seemed to amaze me why people would choose to steal from them. The quality was not that great.
 
2012-09-13 08:19:17 AM  

KrispyKritter: if you're not going to pay, rob Kohl's, Target or some other department store that is considered upscale. they should have nicer quality goods.


Put on your Sunday best kids we are going to Kohls!
 
2012-09-13 08:22:25 AM  
Old Harper? Illegal fireworks?
 
2012-09-13 08:24:47 AM  
Wow, I want to party with them!
 
2012-09-13 08:59:25 AM  
I blame video games for their behavior - I mean games like Monkey Island and its ilk pretty much taught us that random kleptomania was not only 'okay', but often a necessity to get the job done.
 
2012-09-13 09:07:21 AM  

probesport: I've been caught stealing once
When I was five


Do you enjoy stealing?
 
2012-09-13 09:14:59 AM  
My sister in-law had a teenage niece who stole $120 from her mom, went to Walmart and bought a sleeping bag and those little lunchable kits then ran away for a week. Came back preggers. Should have bought condoms too...
 
2012-09-13 09:22:17 AM  
Thus putting an immediate halt to the best Rube Goldberg Florida would have ever known...
 
2012-09-13 09:59:49 AM  
Macgruber!
 
2012-09-13 10:24:13 AM  
We got sixteen dollars and a can of STP
Big ol' jar of cashew nuts and a Japanese TV
Thinking we had pulled the biggest heist of our career
We're wanted men, we'll strike again, but first let's have a beer
 
2012-09-13 10:52:29 AM  
They work for CBS
 
2012-09-13 10:53:07 AM  
Shoot, a feller could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas Biloxi with with all that stuff.
 
2012-09-13 10:59:18 AM  
No paddle-ball game? What about a remote control? A lamp?
 
2012-09-13 11:01:53 AM  

JonnyBGoode: One of the alleged shoplifters:

[hollywoodhatesme.files.wordpress.com image 280x390]


OH SHIAT! They were building a WMD?
 
2012-09-13 11:25:41 AM  
Sounds like all the equipment for one of my normal weekends. Just need a few cases of beer and some KY.

JonnyBGoode: One of the alleged shoplifters:

[hollywoodhatesme.files.wordpress.com image 280x390]


Beat me to it.
 
2012-09-13 11:31:51 AM  
all they're missing are prescription pills and some rubber sheets
 
2012-09-13 11:54:48 AM  
You forgot the condoms.
i94.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-13 12:10:50 PM  

Shadow Blasko: Slim Pickens...

Vegas... etc


CFT, done in three.
 
2012-09-13 12:29:26 PM  
Come on Fark! Did nobody nobody grow up a poor black man?

www.jennymacbeth.com

/pic hot like that awesome job with the circus
 
2012-09-13 01:44:06 PM  
Did they shoot the clerk?
 
2012-09-13 02:07:40 PM  

Premeditated_Road_Rage: I blame video games for their behavior - I mean games like Monkey Island and its ilk pretty much taught us that random kleptomania was not only 'okay', but often a necessity to get the job done.



If it rings a bell, can someone remind me where I saw the comic strip with some NPCs horrified that every jar in their ransacked house has been smashed, and even the bushes in front of the house have been savagely destroyed by some maniac looking for rupees hidden there?

The closest I could find right now is this  (Not sure where that's originally from either-- I found it on that farking comic-stealing "Funny Junk" website, without any apparent attribution)
 
2012-09-13 02:23:33 PM  

McGrits: Come on Fark! Did nobody nobody grow up a poor black man?

[www.jennymacbeth.com image 275x480]

/pic hot like that awesome job with the circus


Yeah, I did, way up higher in the threed. And I stayed this color.
 
2012-09-13 04:49:33 PM  
two fishing rods
a fishing book
a postcard
a paper cutter
a license holder
Fritos bean dip
pink jeans
a blouse
nail polish
a keychain lanyard
two rubber magnets
four photo magnets
binder clips

Okay, let's see here...

They wanted to go on a fishing trip, but their old fishing poles were broken. And their last fishing trip wasn't very successful. And they thought that it would be a good idea to write home on their trip. But they didn't have enough in postage to send a full-size postcard. And they'd need something to hold their fishing licenses in. And they might get hungry while fishing. And the girl wanted something to wear when they went out to eat on their trip. And she wanted to get a bit dolled up. They wanted to make sure that they didn't lose the boat keys in the lake again. But if they DID lose the keys in the lake, they'd have something to retrieve the keys with. And they needed something to hang the pictures of their trip on the fridge once they got home.

BUT WHAT WERE THE BINDER CLIPS FOR? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!
 
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