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(The Onion)   Apple announces new iPhone with N-word on back knowing customers will buy it anyway   (theonion.com) divider line 56
    More: Amusing, iPhone, Helvetica, niggas, Roseanne Barr  
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6433 clicks; posted to Geek » on 12 Sep 2012 at 1:54 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-12 01:19:13 PM
Watching the Apple liveblog. Nothing particularly exciting yet.
 
2012-09-12 01:22:00 PM
They've announced that LTE's going to be on this. So it means that HTC and Samsung are going to sue Apple for it.
 
2012-09-12 01:59:17 PM
Taller, but not wider.

This sounds really awful.

Apple will sell millions of them.



Onion article is stupid and not funny, even for the Onion.
 
2012-09-12 02:01:42 PM
They're bringing it back.
 
2012-09-12 02:03:30 PM
Apple CEO Tim Cook could squat, take a dump and name it the iCrap and the iFaithful would be lining up around the block to buy it.
 
2012-09-12 02:05:29 PM
All I got out of it:

1) Longer screen
2) Slightly upgraded processor
3) You have to shell out money for the connector adapter
4) LTE

Meh.
 
2012-09-12 02:05:34 PM
I wonder if the Onion is losing social or political influence by blocking readers who don't subscribe to them.
 
2012-09-12 02:10:35 PM
The iPhone 5 is a disappointment. So was the 4S.

They need to really go off the reservation to make it innovative again, and they're not going to do that.
 
2012-09-12 02:12:07 PM
The article reads like a green text on /b/.
 
2012-09-12 02:13:22 PM
Prophecy or satire? You decide.

Onion's battlng about 50/50 on that line nowadays, anyhow.
 
2012-09-12 02:17:45 PM
Bennie Crabtree: I wonder if the Onion is losing social or political influence by blocking readers who don't subscribe to them.

What are you talking about?
 
2012-09-12 02:18:42 PM

RexTalionis: All I got out of it:

1) Longer screen
2) Slightly upgraded processor
3) You have to shell out money for the connector adapter
4) LTE

Meh.


So...a Samsung S3? Hope they have their lawyers ready!
 
2012-09-12 02:19:13 PM
Protip: Facts aren't funny if all you add is a nonexistant product to the mix
 
2012-09-12 02:20:15 PM

Marine1: The iPhone 5 is a disappointment. So was the 4S.

They need to really go off the reservation to make it innovative again, and they're not going to do that.


but but it's taller! And it's 4G, cutting edge stuff right there.

Why innovate when you can litigate?
 
2012-09-12 02:42:14 PM
I love how people are complaining about Apple improving one of the greatest products of our time.


"It's an iPhone with a bigger screen and a faster processor? Meh, whatever."

- All you morons
 
2012-09-12 02:44:37 PM

iAmTheEnd: I love how people are complaining about Apple improving one of the greatest products of our time.


"It's an iPhone with a bigger screen and a faster processor? Meh, whatever."

- All you morons



notsureifserious.jpg
 
2012-09-12 02:45:39 PM
pressx.com.au
 
2012-09-12 02:55:50 PM
I spend too nubianrdly to buy one of those
 
2012-09-12 02:57:11 PM
Filter pwned for frugality, really?
 
2012-09-12 02:58:19 PM

sgnilward: Filter pwned for frugality, really?


We all know what you really meant.
 
2012-09-12 03:04:19 PM

Marine1: The iPhone 5 is a disappointment. So was the 4S.

They need to really go off the reservation to make it innovative again, and they're not going to do that.


I do agree though. With each new iteration there's less of the initial "wow" that set it apart. The only people who get excited about new releases are die-hard Apple fans.

/Then again that initial "wow" was
//A smartphone, now with Apple logo
 
2012-09-12 03:04:47 PM

Latinwolf: Bennie Crabtree: I wonder if the Onion is losing social or political influence by blocking readers who don't subscribe to them.

What are you talking about?


Are they still "testing" that paywall outside the US?
 
2012-09-12 03:06:11 PM
I'm not blown away, but it does look like a decent phone. Time up upgrade the 'ol 3GS.
 
2012-09-12 03:15:40 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Marine1: The iPhone 5 is a disappointment. So was the 4S.

They need to really go off the reservation to make it innovative again, and they're not going to do that.

but but it's taller! And it's 4G, cutting edge stuff right there.

Why innovate when you can litigate?


Good question.

I really don't like the answer.
 
2012-09-12 03:17:06 PM

brewssuds: I'm not blown away, but it does look like a decent phone. Time up upgrade the 'ol 3GS.


So you'll settle for an inferior upgrade just for brand loyalty and because you had already decided you'd purchase the iPhone 5 before you even knew the specs, which you now know are sub-par?

/casts line...
 
2012-09-12 03:20:00 PM
I am really shocked at the 4" screen and crappy resolution they should have went a bit bigger. The S3 which has been out for what like 6 months beats it on all stats but thickness and weight.
 
2012-09-12 03:20:56 PM

Latinwolf: Bennie Crabtree: I wonder if the Onion is losing social or political influence by blocking readers who don't subscribe to them.

What are you talking about?


You are limited to like only 4 or 5 articles a month, is incredibly annoying but easy to work around.
 
2012-09-12 03:22:07 PM

TNel: I am really shocked at the 4" screen and crappy resolution they should have went a bit bigger. The S3 which has been out for what like 6 months beats it on all stats but thickness and weight.


So they DID go with the 4" screen, instead of the 3.7"? Well, that's good. I mean, that's still a hilariously crappy display in this day and age, but still...better than the rumors that were floating about..
 
2012-09-12 03:32:04 PM

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: brewssuds: I'm not blown away, but it does look like a decent phone. Time up upgrade the 'ol 3GS.

So you'll settle for an inferior upgrade just for brand loyalty and because you had already decided you'd purchase the iPhone 5 before you even knew the specs, which you now know are sub-par?

/casts line...


This.
 
2012-09-12 03:34:08 PM

brewssuds: Time up upgrade the 'ol 3GS.


Then you'll want to go with an Android phone.
 
2012-09-12 03:43:57 PM
i45.tinypic.com

Next years iPhone.
 
2012-09-12 04:05:07 PM

TNel: I am really shocked at the 4" screen and crappy resolution they should have went a bit bigger. The S3 which has been out for what like 6 months beats it on all stats but thickness and weight.


What's crappy about the resolution? I think 326 ppi still bests the S3, if only by a little bit.
 
2012-09-12 04:11:52 PM

ScottRiqui: TNel: I am really shocked at the 4" screen and crappy resolution they should have went a bit bigger. The S3 which has been out for what like 6 months beats it on all stats but thickness and weight.

What's crappy about the resolution? I think 326 ppi still bests the S3, if only by a little bit.


1136 x 640
 
2012-09-12 04:16:20 PM

TNel: ScottRiqui: TNel: I am really shocked at the 4" screen and crappy resolution they should have went a bit bigger. The S3 which has been out for what like 6 months beats it on all stats but thickness and weight.

What's crappy about the resolution? I think 326 ppi still bests the S3, if only by a little bit.

1136 x 640


So? What's wrong with 16:9? It's not an oddball screen ratio, and 1136 x 640 is plenty of pixels for a 4" screen.
 
2012-09-12 04:16:51 PM

TNel: ScottRiqui: TNel: I am really shocked at the 4" screen and crappy resolution they should have went a bit bigger. The S3 which has been out for what like 6 months beats it on all stats but thickness and weight.

What's crappy about the resolution? I think 326 ppi still bests the S3, if only by a little bit.

1136 x 640


Yep.

S3: 1,280 x 720
iPhone 5: 1,136 x 640

The iPhone has the higher ppi as a function of its smaller screen. And those few extra pixels-per-inch will hardly be noticeable in real user. Where as a screen that is nearly a full inch bigger absolutely will be.

What is the biggest thing that iPhone owners would typically admit to liking about the S3? The screen size. What did Apple do about this? Just about nothing.
 
2012-09-12 04:20:11 PM
I'm surprised that it doesn't come with a bit of the freeze-dried remains of Steve Jobs encased in it somehow.
 
2012-09-12 04:48:54 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i45.tinypic.com image 250x575]

Next years iPhone.


www.ocmit.com
 
2012-09-12 05:01:39 PM

sgnilward: Filter pwned for frugality, really?


Niagra please!
 
2012-09-12 05:08:37 PM
Will you be able to put your icons where ever you want on the screen yet? Will it do live wallpaper? How about widgets? Why is this thing considered so innovative when it can't do such simple things as move a farking icon where ever you want it like every other smartphone has done for like a decade?

And will you please stop showing me simple apps, like Gasbuddy, that are available for every smartphone, like they are some kinda exclusive farking iPhone magic.

It amazes me how many people can't grasp the concept that every app in the app store is not exclusive to the iPhone.
 
2012-09-12 05:10:09 PM

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: TNel: ScottRiqui: TNel: I am really shocked at the 4" screen and crappy resolution they should have went a bit bigger. The S3 which has been out for what like 6 months beats it on all stats but thickness and weight.

What's crappy about the resolution? I think 326 ppi still bests the S3, if only by a little bit.

1136 x 640

Yep.

S3: 1,280 x 720
iPhone 5: 1,136 x 640

The iPhone has the higher ppi as a function of its smaller screen. And those few extra pixels-per-inch will hardly be noticeable in real user. Where as a screen that is nearly a full inch bigger absolutely will be.

What is the biggest thing that iPhone owners would typically admit to liking about the S3? The screen size. What did Apple do about this? Just about nothing.


they are selling last year phone specs as an upgrade. What flagship phone has a 4" screen? Keep being an apologist for them. The are selling you outdated new phones at a premium. I'll take any other high end phone over this "updated" phone.
 
2012-09-12 05:15:23 PM
They actually went with the 'destroy our vast installed base of supporting connectors' new socket? Insanity..
 
2012-09-12 05:18:07 PM

TNel: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: TNel: ScottRiqui: TNel: I am really shocked at the 4" screen and crappy resolution they should have went a bit bigger. The S3 which has been out for what like 6 months beats it on all stats but thickness and weight.

What's crappy about the resolution? I think 326 ppi still bests the S3, if only by a little bit.

1136 x 640

Yep.

S3: 1,280 x 720
iPhone 5: 1,136 x 640

The iPhone has the higher ppi as a function of its smaller screen. And those few extra pixels-per-inch will hardly be noticeable in real user. Where as a screen that is nearly a full inch bigger absolutely will be.

What is the biggest thing that iPhone owners would typically admit to liking about the S3? The screen size. What did Apple do about this? Just about nothing.

they are selling last year phone specs as an upgrade. What flagship phone has a 4" screen? Keep being an apologist for them. The are selling you outdated new phones at a premium. I'll take any other high end phone over this "updated" phone.


To be honest - I'm getting the new phone for two reasons: The OS and LTE. I'm a fan of their UI and feel the premium is worth it - YMMV.
 
2012-09-12 05:25:42 PM
This iPhone is a complete piece of crap. In fact it's so completely horrible and a total insult that a small nuclear bomb should be set off in the center of the Apple headquarters and everyone that's touched one of their devices should be sent to re-education camps while being severely tortured.

I use my (insert other brand here) Android device and I'm clearly better than all of you.

/Am I doing this right?
 
2012-09-12 05:32:24 PM

SoCalChris: www.ocmit.com


To be followed by Samsung's new S4 Tacgnol.
 
2012-09-12 05:43:23 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i45.tinypic.com image 250x575]

Next years iPhone.


i.imgur.com

Not coincidentally, this is the same design as next year's iPad, the iPad Narrow.
 
2012-09-12 05:51:32 PM

gaspode: They actually went with the 'destroy our vast installed base of supporting connectors' new socket? Insanity..


hell, apple changes their video connectors with just about every macbook release. i've got a drawer full of obsolete $29 dongles (heh, dongle). it won't hurt them one bit.
 
2012-09-12 07:07:24 PM
The n-word.
That's offensive.
 
2012-09-12 07:39:55 PM
I'm really looking forward to seeing the iPhone 5 not being sold in the U.S. due to an injunction filed by HTC and/or Samsung. Good job putting LTE on your piece of crap.
 
2012-09-12 07:49:45 PM

FlashHarry:

hell, apple changes their video connectors with just about every macbook release. i've got a drawer full of obsolete $29 dongles (heh, dongle). it won't hurt them one bit.


How many BMWs have got an apple video connector? Those stupid ipod/iphone connectors are on bloody everything, or they were anyway. Maybe not so much in future. It had actually become a defacto standard but a hell of a lot of people are going to feel burned.
 
2012-09-12 08:41:19 PM

gaspode: How many BMWs have got an apple video connector? Those stupid ipod/iphone connectors are on bloody everything, or they were anyway. Maybe not so much in future. It had actually become a defacto standard but a hell of a lot of people are going to feel burned.


It is an outdated and inferior connection media and you should feel bad for using it. Now go get in line for your iPhone 5.
 
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