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(ABC News)   If you ever wake up and realize you are making a living as a "consultant" to college girls trying to get into their preferred sorority, it's time to have a long, serious, talk with your mirror and the nearest available shotgun   (abcnews.go.com ) divider line
    More: Asinine, sorority, Chapman University, mirrors, shotguns, service providers  
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12951 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Sep 2012 at 3:24 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



224 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2012-09-12 12:22:15 PM  
Submitter sounds like a pizza-faced nerd who never gets laid and has never experienced the comraderie and leadership opportunities afforded by our nation's Greek system.

And I can assure you that these ladies, these future leaders, get more top-shelf cock than any of you loosers ever will.
 
2012-09-12 12:25:53 PM  
Have a long, serious talk with your mirror and reassure yourself that yes, you're living the dream.
 
2012-09-12 12:27:13 PM  

sigdiamond2000: Submitter sounds like a pizza-faced nerd who never gets laid and has never experienced the comraderie and leadership opportunities afforded by our nation's Greek system.

And I can assure you that these ladies, these future leaders, get more top-shelf cock than any of you loosers ever will.


You sound like you're trying to compensate for something.

/no, really
 
2012-09-12 12:29:27 PM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Have a long, serious talk with your mirror and reassure yourself that yes, you're living the dream.


That's what I'm saying.

Young, nubile girls paying me to tell them how to be popular? F*ckin'-A, man. Money is money.
 
2012-09-12 12:30:33 PM  
Giggity.
 
2012-09-12 12:32:04 PM  
Sounds like the job I want when I retire.. Yes indeed I could consult 18 year olds alllll day !
 
2012-09-12 12:33:41 PM  
I don't know about that. My mid-shelf cock has been very satisfying and with zero popped collars.
 
2012-09-12 12:34:17 PM  
"Girls shouldn't feel like it's necessary to pay money in order to get into a sorority, because girls will be just fine if they just act like who they are," Allison Everett, a junior at New York University and active sorority member who helps oversee all of Greek life at the university, told "GMA."

"But," she continued, "if who you are is not someone who wears a Lily Pulitzer dress, then get the f*ck out of my face."
 
2012-09-12 12:35:14 PM  
If you ever wake up and realize you are making a living as hiring a "consultant" to college girls trying to get into their preferred sorority, it's time to have a long, serious, talk with your mirror and the nearest available shotgun (abcnews.go.com)

FTFY subby.

Don't hate the woman for making money off fools, hate the fools for paying her.
 
2012-09-12 12:37:35 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: sigdiamond2000: Submitter sounds like a pizza-faced nerd who never gets laid and has never experienced the comraderie and leadership opportunities afforded by our nation's Greek system.

And I can assure you that these ladies, these future leaders, get more top-shelf cock than any of you loosers ever will.

You sound like you're trying to compensate for something.

/no, really


I think he's parodying someone.
 
2012-09-12 12:38:18 PM  

ToxicMunkee: I don't know about that. My mid-shelf cock has been very satisfying and with zero popped collars.


THIS!!!!

sweetmelissa31: Girls shouldn't feel like it's necessary to pay money in order to get into a sorority, because girls will be just fine if they just act like who they are," Allison Everett, a junior at New York University and active sorority member who helps oversee all of Greek life at the university, told "GMA."


Honestly, if you're in a fraternity at a large school in the city...you need to re-evaluate your choices.

Some schools need fraternities. NYU does not.
 
2012-09-12 12:45:33 PM  

Mugato: The My Little Pony Killer: sigdiamond2000: Submitter sounds like a pizza-faced nerd who never gets laid and has never experienced the comraderie and leadership opportunities afforded by our nation's Greek system.

And I can assure you that these ladies, these future leaders, get more top-shelf cock than any of you loosers ever will.

You sound like you're trying to compensate for something.

/no, really

I think he's parodying someone.


It's one of the greatest FarkMemes of all Time, I recall the thread and how earnestly the original poster meant that...

/Shine on you crazy Sigdiamond
 
2012-09-12 12:48:09 PM  
I'm glad this was greenlit, because I'm ready now to announce a new service we've been working very hard to pull together for Fark. It's taken several months, but I've assembled a small but very elite cadre of highly experienced, somewhat notorious, TF-Famous TotalFarkers who will, for a reasonable consulting fee, work with liters, lurkers, noobs, and those ambitious TFers who just want a leg up on making it to the next level of Fark popularity...maybe even come a bit closer to earning one of those few coveted Ultrafark memberships (And good news! We've recently approved an expansion of Ultrafark and will, over the next few months, be accepting up to 15 new members. Tired of not knowing who submitted a parody thread? Ultrafark is for you, if you're good enough!). Your personally matched Elite Farker Consultant (EFC) will help you make the move from zero to hero by teaching you which threads to participate in, which threads to ignore, how to attention whore, and how to snark. They'll teach you which memes are hot, which are stone-cold, and how to tell the difference. You'll learn the true secrets of getting BIE and you'll be given exclusive access to the BIE Vault, the most expansive BIE archive on the 'net. You'll learn the Fifteen Secrets to Getting Green Arrowed and which modmins can be bought. You'll learn how to ensure that you never need to pay for your own membership again -- that's what sponsorships are for! You'll be invited to the best Google groups, the best Fark parties, the best TFD circle jerks. Contact me for an application now, while they last, and we'll make sure that you're paired up with the EFC who has what it takes to make you SHINE.
 
2012-09-12 12:56:00 PM  
media.tumblr.com

You mean this guy can't be a consultant? Pretty nice job
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-09-12 01:01:48 PM  
Sounds like a great job to me. Learning the kinky sexual techniques I teach will guarentee you admission into the most select sorority.
 
2012-09-12 01:08:56 PM  

sweetmelissa31: "Girls shouldn't feel like it's necessary to pay money in order to get into a sorority, because girls will be just fine if they just act like who they are," Allison Everett, a junior at New York University and active sorority member who helps oversee all of Greek life at the university, told "GMA."

"But," she continued, "if who you are is not someone who wears a Lily Pulitzer dress, then get the f*ck out of my face."


Or if you who you are is someone who is in love with a disabled person :(

celebritywonder.ugo.com
 
2012-09-12 01:09:44 PM  
Dang it.

images.fandango.com
 
2012-09-12 01:16:19 PM  
$300 an hour is excellent pay for very little work, Subby.
 
2012-09-12 01:19:25 PM  

Pocket Ninja: I'm glad this was greenlit, because I'm ready now to announce a new service we've been working very hard to pull together for Fark. It's taken several months, but I've assembled a small but very elite cadre of highly experienced, somewhat notorious, TF-Famous TotalFarkers who will, for a reasonable consulting fee, work with liters, lurkers, noobs, and those ambitious TFers who just want a leg up on making it to the next level of Fark popul-


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-09-12 01:27:44 PM  

i1123.photobucket.com

"Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public."

 
2012-09-12 01:51:14 PM  
api.ning.com

Hermione: Please not Delta Gamma, they're a bunch of whores. Oh please, oh please.

Sorting Hat: Alpha Chi Omega!

Hermione: NOoooo, that's even worse.!
 
2012-09-12 02:28:03 PM  
Unless you are a 40 year old gay man.
 
2012-09-12 02:33:48 PM  
Just try to fit in with them. Find out what bands are popular with that clique and wear their t-shirt.
www.x-entertainment.com
See, it's easy.
 
2012-09-12 02:35:05 PM  
If you ever wake up and realize you are suggesting someone making honest living kill themselves just because you think their job is stupid, it's time to have a long, serious, talk with your mirror and the nearest available shotgun
 
2012-09-12 02:44:21 PM  

Headso: you are suggesting someone making honest living kill themselves


All the popular kids are doing it.
 
2012-09-12 02:46:12 PM  

Headso: If you ever wake up and realize you are suggesting someone making honest living kill themselves just because you think their job is stupid, it's time to have a long, serious, talk with your mirror and the nearest available shotgun


see that right there is your problem. And yes, these folks DO belong on the "better dead" list right next to the folks that train three and four years olds how to master their "runway walk" for beauty pageants

Sing it with me:

I've got a little list - I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed - who never would be missed
 
2012-09-12 02:49:50 PM  

Headso: If you ever wake up and realize you are suggesting someone making honest living kill themselves just because you think their job is stupid, it's time to have a long, serious, talk with your mirror and the nearest available shotgun


I think the issue is that this is not an "honest living". It's a living sure, and it's a money maker, but you're taking advantage of people with more money that brains. Again, it's a living, but it definitely ain't honest.

If she wanted to make an "honest living" she would be hired for one hour and spend that hour telling them how stupid they are for taking it seriously enough to actually hire someone to help them join a club.
 
2012-09-12 02:51:17 PM  
I don't know about suicide. In all the movies I've seen, the older women giving advice to sorority girls don't look very unhappy.

/Unless those are shrieks of pain
 
2012-09-12 02:59:47 PM  
Looks like this woman is an "etiquette expert" who's been doing the reality TV circuit.
 
2012-09-12 03:05:35 PM  
If my services are needed as a consultant to college girls, I'll lend whatever aid that I can.

Now, ladies, it's very important you leave a favorable impression at the big party!
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-09-12 03:16:59 PM  
No Belushi on the ladder?

Fark, I am dissapoint.
 
2012-09-12 03:24:25 PM  

Krieghund: If my services are needed as a consultant to college girls, I'll lend whatever aid that I can.

Now, ladies, it's very important you leave a favorable impression at the big party!

3.bp.blogspot.com

Ahhh yes, "The greatest college photo ever taken". Haven't seen that in a few years.
 
2012-09-12 03:30:28 PM  
Ring Ring...

"Delta Delta Delta can I helpya helpya helpya?"
 
2012-09-12 03:31:34 PM  
$300/hour to tell snotty little biatches how to get into backstabber cliques? Sign me the fark up.
 
2012-09-12 03:33:04 PM  

ToxicMunkee: I don't know about that. My mid-shelf cock has been very satisfying and with zero popped collars.


The image of a cock with a popped collar amuses me. And is a little confusing.
 
2012-09-12 03:33:20 PM  
images4.wikia.nocookie.net

I'll "Pimp Yo' Sister" for you for a small fee.
 
2012-09-12 03:33:24 PM  

Marisyana: $300/hour to tell snotty little biatches how to get into backstabber cliques? Sign me the fark up.


Me too. I wish I'd thought of it. But then, I've never been the sorority type. So I'd probably really suck at it.
 
2012-09-12 03:33:34 PM  
Loser? Can we say DREAM JOB?

/oh, it's a woman
//GIGGITY!
 
2012-09-12 03:34:12 PM  
Advice from the Rushbiddies: "Know your audience. In the south, wearing being black is a definite "no," and Lilly Pulitzer dresses are a plus."

Fixed that for them.

I was reading this and saw that these consultants get paid $300 an hour to tell these broads "what to say and do and how to dress." They could've gotten the services of Jewish moms a lot cheaper.
 
2012-09-12 03:34:28 PM  

aevert: The image of a cock with a popped collar amuses me. And is a little confusing


Just to clarify, are you picturing a cock wearing an actual little collared shirt, or is there foreskin that's shaped into...actually, I'll just stop.
 
2012-09-12 03:35:19 PM  
Is it suppose to be this soft?
Just rub it faster.
*rips off dish glove*
 
2012-09-12 03:36:36 PM  

Shostie: Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Have a long, serious talk with your mirror and reassure yourself that yes, you're living the dream.

That's what I'm saying.

Young, nubile girls paying me to tell them how to be popular? F*ckin'-A, man. Money is money.


I agree. It sounds like nice work if you can get it.
 
2012-09-12 03:37:42 PM  
We've created multiple positions from wedding coordinators to life coaches to soothe the nerves of people with too much money. Why not this?

I'm actually surprised this didn't already exist. The market was obvious.
 
2012-09-12 03:37:59 PM  
Wait. They're serious. How very sad.
 
2012-09-12 03:38:31 PM  
i1151.photobucket.com
ZZZZZZZzzzzzz-!!!
I'm a sorority slut placement consultant!
SQEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
 
2012-09-12 03:38:45 PM  

NuttierThanEver: [api.ning.com image 171x171]

Hermione: Please not Delta Gamma, they're a bunch of whores. Oh please, oh please.

Sorting Hat: Alpha Chi Omega!

Hermione: NOoooo, that's even worse.!


Hey now, my mom was an Alpha Chi Omega, and she...

Wait, never mind
 
2012-09-12 03:39:25 PM  

sigdiamond2000: Submitter sounds like a pizza-faced nerd who never gets laid and has never experienced the comraderie and leadership opportunities afforded by our nation's Greek system.

And I can assure you that these ladies, these future leaders, get more top-shelf cock than any of you loosers ever will.


And where will you be in 26 minutes, eh?
 
2012-09-12 03:39:46 PM  

aevert: ToxicMunkee: I don't know about that. My mid-shelf cock has been very satisfying and with zero popped collars.

The image of a cock with a popped collar amuses me. And is a little confusing.


CIRCUMCISION THREAD!
 
2012-09-12 03:40:29 PM  

sigdiamond2000: Submitter sounds like a pizza-faced nerd who never gets laid and has never experienced the comraderie and leadership opportunities afforded by our nation's Greek system.

And I can assure you that these ladies, these future leaders, get more top-shelf cock than any of you loosers ever will.


And you sound pathetic. And that's coming from a furry.
 
2012-09-12 03:40:33 PM  

scottydoesntknow: If you ever wake up and realize you are making a living as hiring a "consultant" to college girls trying to get into their preferred sorority, it's time to have a long, serious, talk with your mirror and the nearest available shotgun (abcnews.go.com)

FTFY subby.

Don't hate the woman for making money off fools, hate the fools for paying her.


So much this.
 
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