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(Gawker)   Sears accidentally offers online customers free nipple with every purchase [Not safe for work]   (gawker.com) divider line 5
    More: Amusing, Sears, customers  
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9371 clicks; posted to Business » on 12 Sep 2012 at 1:29 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-12 06:41:28 PM
1 votes:
Basically, we have feminists to blame for all of this. Not in the way you think- not "FEMINISTS ARE EVIL WIMMENS WHO WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND GRIND MEN BENEATH HEELS OF THEIR SENSIBLE SHOES" blame. More like "you gave up, ladies?" blame.

Rewind to the 1970's. Chick power was in. They were kicking ass and taking names, and they were all out of paper for taking names. Bras? Fark 'em- it was the MAN who wanted to keep the sweater puppies in their place. Empowered women saw that for what it was: oppression. Bras weren't simply removed- they were burned. Burned for the sick manifestations of female servitude that they were. You didn't like nipples showing in public? Well fark YOU, Mister. Our bodies, ourselves- our nipples, and you can shove your puritanical bullshiat right up your square asshole. There were nipples swinging side-to-side as their owners bounded along braless on city streets. There were nipples bouncing up-and-down as spandex-suited exercise queens did jumping jacks with the girls a full 180 degrees out of phase with their perky-and-proud-of-it owners. There were nipples in the classroom as stick-it-to-the-man became a cry not only of the student population but also of the younger teachers as well. There were nipples in Church for God's sake! It wasn't dirty to look at a Madonna Lactans anymore, and there were braless girls my age sitting in the pew next to me. Bralessness WAS Freedom. Freedom from oppression. Freedom from a false morality force-fed to women in the name of modesty but tasting of bitter repression.

Pause. Reflect. Admire. Those were the good old days, where things were happening and boobies (and their nipples) weren't shameful. Just nice.

Now fast forward. Something happened. I don't know what. But the feminists started just giving up. Issues (not just bra-related) that seemed SO IMPORTANT in the 60's and 70's got lost in the rush of bills to pay, kids to feed, jobs to biatch about, lives to live. Suddenly, it didn't matter so much that THE MAN wanted you to earn less than he did- you were paying off a mortgage and didn't want to make waves. It wasn't a big deal anymore that women weren't being treated as equals in the educational, political, medical, and every other arena. That was just the way things are. The Patriarchy reasserted itself, not in a big flourishing cry of "NOW YOU ARE OUR INFERIORS AGAIN!" but in tiny everyday minor things like care salesmen looking at the husband when it was time to make the final buy/not-buy decision and commercials that portrayed women in only two roles: mindless sex bimbos (to sell beer) or dutiful obedient wives (to sell cleaning supplies).

And so, one 32-C cup at a time, women started putting the bras back on, willingly donning the symbolic shackles of feminine subordination. Breasts became unclean again. Feeding a baby in public was disgusting again. Seeing a nipple through a layer of clothing was shocking again. At the same time, porn consumption reached all-time highs because it was the very essence of oppression and objectification of females.

And then it happened. One day, we looked around and saw nipples air-brushed out of ads, removed from bill boards, out of sight on television- causing a major OUTRAGE when one accidentally showed up on the Super Bowl. All because the feminists just gave up or stopped trying (which is almost but not quite the same thing). 

So- you gave up, ladies? Why?
2012-09-12 03:34:59 PM
1 votes:
12 year old me is super excited about this.
2012-09-12 02:51:06 PM
1 votes:
So Sears blames third party sellers for not censoring their pictures?

I'll tell you what Sears... Hire me to censor the photos for you. You need this done, and I need a full time job.
2012-09-12 02:26:26 PM
1 votes:
Women's breasts are awesome.
2012-09-12 01:38:38 PM
1 votes:
This same thing happen in a K Mart weekly sales flyer back when I was in Junior high (pre internet days). I used that flyer for a couple of weeks.
 
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