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(Gawker)   Sears accidentally offers online customers free nipple with every purchase [Not safe for work]   (gawker.com) divider line 48
    More: Amusing, Sears, customers  
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9402 clicks; posted to Business » on 12 Sep 2012 at 1:29 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-09-12 12:17:30 PM  
The primary commentator in the comments section in TFA is funny.
 
2012-09-12 12:18:07 PM  
*checks*

Whew. No Fark filter. Although I guess it would be fitting if it still filtered it as Boobies...
 
2012-09-12 12:21:47 PM  

xanadian: The primary commentator in the comments section in TFA is funny.


Holy shiat, that is funny right there.
 
2012-09-12 12:21:53 PM  
I believe... and correct me if I'm wrong here, but I think I see a nipple.
 
2012-09-12 01:01:29 PM  
guycodeblog.mtv.com
 
2012-09-12 01:22:34 PM  
Knows how it feels... 

daniellesoto617.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-09-12 01:33:24 PM  
OMG NO! Not a nipple! Considering every man women and child w/o deformities has two of them I just cannot bring myself to outrage.
 
2012-09-12 01:38:38 PM  
This same thing happen in a K Mart weekly sales flyer back when I was in Junior high (pre internet days). I used that flyer for a couple of weeks.
 
2012-09-12 01:45:32 PM  
I keep trying to add the free nipple to My Cart, but it's not working.
 
2012-09-12 01:51:32 PM  
Available in sizes XL to 3XL
 
2012-09-12 01:56:58 PM  
It got people to their site.... 

/can't wait for the bonus Christmas toy issue.
 
2012-09-12 02:01:03 PM  
www.shocktees.com
 
2012-09-12 02:20:34 PM  
That is one big-ass nipple. More like a slice of salami, if you ask me.


/Which you didn't. But hey, this is fark! Nobody asks!
 
2012-09-12 02:26:26 PM  
Women's breasts are awesome.
 
2012-09-12 02:31:42 PM  

Kazrath: OMG NO! Not a nipple! Considering every man women and child w/o deformities has two of them I just cannot bring myself to outrage.


came here to say that. nipples are pretty much standard issue for mammals.
 
2012-09-12 02:34:43 PM  
"Now would you unhook me please, I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment."

tvmedia.ign.com
 
2012-09-12 02:36:49 PM  

Shazam999: Women's breasts are awesome.


+1
 
2012-09-12 02:40:50 PM  
now only if those old sears catalogs had done this
 
2012-09-12 02:51:06 PM  
So Sears blames third party sellers for not censoring their pictures?

I'll tell you what Sears... Hire me to censor the photos for you. You need this done, and I need a full time job.
 
2012-09-12 03:00:25 PM  

loonatic112358: now only if those old sears catalogs had done this


I remember when Victoria Secrets didn't airbrush anything in their catalogs.

I don't know how society survived.
 
2012-09-12 03:10:50 PM  
It's been done...

i.imgur.com
 
2012-09-12 03:16:59 PM  
Jeez, used to see more than that on Cahrlies Angels in the 1970s.
 
2012-09-12 03:22:21 PM  
BTW...seeing nipples through clothes was no big deal on TV in the 70s and 80s. And it's the only reason any heterosexual guys watched the Style network when it first came on the air. Seeing all this, I figured by 2012 we'd be seeing bare boobs on free TV regularly. What the hell happened?
 
2012-09-12 03:25:50 PM  

GacysBasement: BTW...seeing nipples through clothes was no big deal on TV in the 70s and 80s. And it's the only reason any heterosexual guys watched the Style network when it first came on the air. Seeing all this, I figured by 2012 we'd be seeing bare boobs on free TV regularly. What the hell happened?


Republican JESUS.
 
2012-09-12 03:34:59 PM  
12 year old me is super excited about this.
 
2012-09-12 03:36:00 PM  

GacysBasement: BTW...seeing nipples through clothes was no big deal on TV in the 70s and 80s. And it's the only reason any heterosexual guys watched the Style network when it first came on the air. Seeing all this, I figured by 2012 we'd be seeing bare boobs on free TV regularly. What the hell happened?


People never write the FCC to say they are ok with something, only to complain.
 
2012-09-12 03:45:07 PM  

ToxicAvenger: It's been done...

[i.imgur.com image 500x745]


I thought JC Penney had a pic in their catalog of a guy with his schlong pressed against his tightie whities....

This was like 25 years ago.....
 
2012-09-12 03:45:31 PM  
Came for a Kardashian Kollection joke. Leaving disappointed.
 
2012-09-12 03:53:31 PM  
OH wow. Four darker pixels.
Call the police.
 
2012-09-12 04:12:11 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: GacysBasement: BTW...seeing nipples through clothes was no big deal on TV in the 70s and 80s. And it's the only reason any heterosexual guys watched the Style network when it first came on the air. Seeing all this, I figured by 2012 we'd be seeing bare boobs on free TV regularly. What the hell happened?

Republican JESUS.


Combined with "protect the children from everything, including things that are in no way, nor have ever been, harmful".
 
2012-09-12 04:39:48 PM  
FTA: ...and was not altered to make it safe for Sears' discerning clientle.

I laughed pretty hard at that...
 
2012-09-12 05:33:41 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: GacysBasement: BTW...seeing nipples through clothes was no big deal on TV in the 70s and 80s. And it's the only reason any heterosexual guys watched the Style network when it first came on the air. Seeing all this, I figured by 2012 we'd be seeing bare boobs on free TV regularly. What the hell happened?

Republican JESUS.


Yeah, the Clinton administration was known for their puritanical stance.
 
2012-09-12 06:07:45 PM  

GacysBasement: BTW...seeing nipples through clothes was no big deal on TV in the 70s and 80s. And it's the only reason any heterosexual guys watched the Style network when it first came on the air. Seeing all this, I figured by 2012 we'd be seeing bare boobs on free TV regularly. What the hell happened?


America's sphincter has re-tightened.
 
2012-09-12 06:29:54 PM  
SHUT
DOWN
EVERYTHING

Well, at the very least, take down their Facebook page. This malfeasance cannot go unanswered.
 
2012-09-12 06:41:28 PM  
Basically, we have feminists to blame for all of this. Not in the way you think- not "FEMINISTS ARE EVIL WIMMENS WHO WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND GRIND MEN BENEATH HEELS OF THEIR SENSIBLE SHOES" blame. More like "you gave up, ladies?" blame.

Rewind to the 1970's. Chick power was in. They were kicking ass and taking names, and they were all out of paper for taking names. Bras? Fark 'em- it was the MAN who wanted to keep the sweater puppies in their place. Empowered women saw that for what it was: oppression. Bras weren't simply removed- they were burned. Burned for the sick manifestations of female servitude that they were. You didn't like nipples showing in public? Well fark YOU, Mister. Our bodies, ourselves- our nipples, and you can shove your puritanical bullshiat right up your square asshole. There were nipples swinging side-to-side as their owners bounded along braless on city streets. There were nipples bouncing up-and-down as spandex-suited exercise queens did jumping jacks with the girls a full 180 degrees out of phase with their perky-and-proud-of-it owners. There were nipples in the classroom as stick-it-to-the-man became a cry not only of the student population but also of the younger teachers as well. There were nipples in Church for God's sake! It wasn't dirty to look at a Madonna Lactans anymore, and there were braless girls my age sitting in the pew next to me. Bralessness WAS Freedom. Freedom from oppression. Freedom from a false morality force-fed to women in the name of modesty but tasting of bitter repression.

Pause. Reflect. Admire. Those were the good old days, where things were happening and boobies (and their nipples) weren't shameful. Just nice.

Now fast forward. Something happened. I don't know what. But the feminists started just giving up. Issues (not just bra-related) that seemed SO IMPORTANT in the 60's and 70's got lost in the rush of bills to pay, kids to feed, jobs to biatch about, lives to live. Suddenly, it didn't matter so much that THE MAN wanted you to earn less than he did- you were paying off a mortgage and didn't want to make waves. It wasn't a big deal anymore that women weren't being treated as equals in the educational, political, medical, and every other arena. That was just the way things are. The Patriarchy reasserted itself, not in a big flourishing cry of "NOW YOU ARE OUR INFERIORS AGAIN!" but in tiny everyday minor things like care salesmen looking at the husband when it was time to make the final buy/not-buy decision and commercials that portrayed women in only two roles: mindless sex bimbos (to sell beer) or dutiful obedient wives (to sell cleaning supplies).

And so, one 32-C cup at a time, women started putting the bras back on, willingly donning the symbolic shackles of feminine subordination. Breasts became unclean again. Feeding a baby in public was disgusting again. Seeing a nipple through a layer of clothing was shocking again. At the same time, porn consumption reached all-time highs because it was the very essence of oppression and objectification of females.

And then it happened. One day, we looked around and saw nipples air-brushed out of ads, removed from bill boards, out of sight on television- causing a major OUTRAGE when one accidentally showed up on the Super Bowl. All because the feminists just gave up or stopped trying (which is almost but not quite the same thing). 

So- you gave up, ladies? Why?
 
2012-09-12 07:26:01 PM  
And no Bigfoot reference? Farkers are slipping.

//not obscure
 
2012-09-12 08:10:15 PM  
Nipples, eh?


www.bdt.com
 
2012-09-12 08:27:16 PM  
Our society is pathetic.
 
2012-09-12 08:32:05 PM  
1) Turn down thermostat
2) Motorboat Sears model
3) Injure cornea
4) Sue for damages
5) Profit
 
2012-09-12 08:40:00 PM  

Kazrath: OMG NO! Not a nipple! Considering every man women and child w/o deformities has two of them I just cannot bring myself to outrage.


Neither can I. I can, however, bring myself to do something else.
 
2012-09-12 09:16:03 PM  
It's... nipnotic.
 
2012-09-12 09:49:27 PM  
between that and Gawker leading me to this Gawker has be humoring me pretty well the last couple of weeks.
 
2012-09-12 11:13:09 PM  
Dear bagumpity:

+5 to you for the entertaining, insightful post. I will only note that, as a kind of counter-measure, there's lots more day-to-day low-cut cleavage in younger women's everyday wear, 40 years later. In that sense, it's like prom night every day. Go figure.

/Then again, in the midst of crazy 1970s inflation, I thought a 4% mortgage would never, ever return. 
 
2012-09-12 11:26:13 PM  
Nice tits.
 
2012-09-13 05:30:56 AM  
For reference: 1975 Sears Catalog "The man on page 602".

There was even a song written about him and his peeking schlong-tip.
 
2012-09-13 06:57:42 AM  
Oh noes! Titties! The work of the DEVIL!!! Panic, America, PANIC!!!
 
2012-09-13 07:57:27 AM  

RickN99: Slaves2Darkness: GacysBasement: BTW...seeing nipples through clothes was no big deal on TV in the 70s and 80s. And it's the only reason any heterosexual guys watched the Style network when it first came on the air. Seeing all this, I figured by 2012 we'd be seeing bare boobs on free TV regularly. What the hell happened?

Republican JESUS.

Yeah, the Clinton administration was known for their puritanical stance.


You mean the administration that included Tipper Gore as Second Lady?
 
2012-09-13 08:46:56 AM  

ToxicAvenger: It's been done...

[i.imgur.com image 500x745]


Am I missing something here?
 
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