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(Indecision Forever)   "By 2020, I expect we'll abolish Congress and just tackle our policy debates in a Fark thread"   (indecisionforever.com) divider line 278
    More: Followup, policy debate, Fark, Yelp  
•       •       •

5646 clicks; posted to Politics » on 11 Sep 2012 at 3:40 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



278 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-09-11 03:42:55 PM
Yes!
 
2012-09-11 03:43:28 PM
Bloggers Fark Handle Sucks
 
2012-09-11 03:43:45 PM
I bet we'd get more shiat done.
 
2012-09-11 03:43:45 PM
... why not?
 
2012-09-11 03:44:00 PM
All rise for President Lootie.
 
2012-09-11 03:44:27 PM
imokwiththis.jpg
 
2012-09-11 03:44:47 PM
I propose a Free Beer and Hookers Acts for all adults over 25 as part of stimulus. I need co-sponsor.
 
2012-09-11 03:44:56 PM
Tackle our policy debates? In Fark? It's just a bunch of grabastic projection, ad hominem, memes, and snark. And it warms my soul.
 
2012-09-11 03:46:26 PM
Well, it would save a lot of time. And money, since most of us aren't paid to be here. Not directly, anyway.
 
2012-09-11 03:47:15 PM
Most reviews of Big Apple Pizza are pretty positive. The cheese doesn't taste like socialism, explains a reviewer from San Diego...

That's funny shiat, right there...
 
2012-09-11 03:47:17 PM
I yield the floor to the distinguished gentleman from 4chan...
 
2012-09-11 03:47:55 PM
......oh god......

NATION........WIDE........CATURDAY.......
 
2012-09-11 03:48:24 PM
Farking Eh!

If Jon has a Fark handle, I would be so impressed.
 
2012-09-11 03:48:37 PM
Does that mean Drew automatically becomes President?
 
2012-09-11 03:49:05 PM
Don't we already?
 
2012-09-11 03:49:43 PM

Pincy: Does that mean Drew automatically becomes President?


Yes, but don't forget, Fark is essentially a 24/7 filibuster.
 
2012-09-11 03:49:44 PM
While that would be worth $5/month, the Liters will scream "poll tax!".
 
2012-09-11 03:50:56 PM
I wouldn't know 90% of the things I know about current events and politics were it not for Fark.com.

/think about how sad that is for a moment
//grab a bottle, if necessary
 
2012-09-11 03:54:14 PM

Pincy: Does that mean Drew automatically becomes President?


i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-09-11 03:54:54 PM
We'd get over it
 
2012-09-11 03:55:12 PM
C-SPAN would get interesting. Set to auto-refresh every 10 seconds, scroll down to bottom of thread. Watch ALT after ALT spew derp. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
 
2012-09-11 03:55:50 PM

Slowdog: While that would be worth $5/month, the Liters will scream "poll tax!".


TotalFARK would be renamed "The Senate" and the commoners have to stick around in Literland, aka "The House of Representatives".
 
2012-09-11 03:56:23 PM
I hereby nominate Grable's Daughter for the Cabinet post of Naughty Secretary of BIE
 
2012-09-11 03:56:34 PM
As much as we rip on the politics tab, fark is easily the most intelligent political discussion i get to read.
 
2012-09-11 03:56:41 PM

coeyagi: C-SPAN would get interesting. Set to auto-refresh every 10 seconds, scroll down to bottom of thread. Watch ALT after ALT spew derp. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.


How's that any different to Fox News?
 
2012-09-11 03:56:42 PM

un4gvn666: I wouldn't know 90% of the things I know about current events and politics were it not for Fark.com.

/think about how sad that is for a moment
//grab a bottle, if necessary


As opposed to Fox News or the Drudge Report?

I'm perfectly happy finding out my news here
 
2012-09-11 03:56:47 PM

Slowdog: While that would be worth $5/month, the Liters will scream "poll tax!".


A black person's post would read like this: "I think Mitt is really barking up the wrong tree."
 
2012-09-11 03:56:58 PM

un4gvn666: I wouldn't know 90% of the things I know about current events and politics were it not for Fark.com.

/think about how sad that is for a moment
//grab a bottle, if necessary


eh, I think its pretty neat that a bunch of people that are nowhere near each other can get together (metaphorically), grab a beer (or at least wish they could) and shoot the shiat about whats happening in the world. I think that kind of dulls the sadness of that kinda like how the hilarity of the Daily Show makes you forget for a moment that the "Best f*cking News Team" actually IS the best f*cking news team
 
2012-09-11 03:57:35 PM
2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?
 
2012-09-11 03:58:02 PM
The filter would have to go [imokwiththis.jpg]
Boobies would likely have to go as well [ohellnaw.jpg]

This is my nomination for DO NOT WANT poster girl to be Sergeat-at-Arms'-Length.

// apologies if that's "calling out" another farker - I got "busted" for complimenting someone out-of-thread last week
// it's a pun based on the username, dammit
 
2012-09-11 03:58:40 PM

aliendave: I bet we'd get more shiat done.


I really doubt it. The entertainment factor would go up, though.

StopLurkListen: Slowdog: While that would be worth $5/month, the Liters will scream "poll tax!".

TotalFARK would be renamed "The Senate" and the commoners have to stick around in Literland, aka "The House of Representatives".


What about UltraFa+++++++***LOST CARRIER***+++++++++
 
2012-09-11 03:59:49 PM

Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?


Ox45tallboy vs. BillCo
 
2012-09-11 03:59:49 PM
Dibs on Locke AND Demosthenes
 
2012-09-11 04:01:13 PM

Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?


spentmiles vs Phil
 
2012-09-11 04:01:15 PM
If Fark were in charge of America, it'd probably look like a Communist dystopia where private property is banned.
 
2012-09-11 04:01:16 PM

coeyagi: Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?

Ox45tallboy vs. BillCo


Who's gonna be RON PAUL? Weaver95?
 
2012-09-11 04:01:25 PM

Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?


Internet Dentist and Black Cat
 
2012-09-11 04:02:03 PM
This thread will end badly.
 
2012-09-11 04:02:05 PM
How true. And if you'd just elect me president, all our problems would be solved.

Artists Revolutionary Party Platform:

Politics:

1. The Union of English-Speaking Peoples. Propose Union with Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Singapore. Rescue the home country from the clutches of the filthy Europeans (cut loose Quebec and let them join the EU--I understand there are going to be some vacancies soon).
2. Simultaneously, make the US officially bilingual, print our money in English and Spanish, propose union with Mexico and cede them back Arizona and New Mexico as a gesture of good faith.
3. Union of English and Spanish-Speaking Peoples, a political and economic behemoth that will assure our ascendancy in the 22nd century.

Energy Policy:

We don't need new sources of energy. We need better methods of spreading around the energy we have. What this country needs is a room temperature superconductor. Then we could beam solar energy down from space to the Mojave Desert and power the entire country with it. Therefore, my administration will sponsor a $10 billion prize for the first feasible high temperature superconductor. After one year, the prize will be reduced to $9 billion, after two years $8 billion and so on until it becomes clear that it just isn't technically feasible. But you know what? I think we'll have it within three years.

The Budget and the Deficit:

We need an income-gathering device that appeals to the stupidity and greed of rich people the same way the Lottery appeals to poor people; thus, the Federal Tax Raffle. Tickets cost $10,000 each. Once a month there is a drawing and the lucky winner never has to pay Federal income taxes again. Twelve tax-free millionaires a year is a small price to pay for the untold wealth this would bring in to the Federal government. Combined with the John Ekizian Memorial Tax on Condiments (a one cent tax on those little packets of ketsup they give away with fast food), and the deficit will be gone in no time.

Science:

Screw Mars. We need a Moon colony, now. If elected, I promise to put a woman on the Moon within four years.

Social Policy:

Womb-to-tomb social welfare for anyone who wants it, young, old, male, female, able-bodied, disabled, on one condition: You have to go to school. Eight hours a day, five days a week, fifty weeks a year. Study whatever you want but you have to study something. I predict this will clear the welfare rolls, permanently, within five years. Accredited artists of course will receive the dole permanently with no need to attend school, unless they wish to.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong."

-- H.L. Mencken
 
2012-09-11 04:02:08 PM
I've often suspected that many Comedy Central writers steal material from fark and other internet threads.
 
2012-09-11 04:02:38 PM
I would enjoy meow said the dog as white house spokesperson.
 
2012-09-11 04:02:50 PM

Parthenogenetic: coeyagi: Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?

Ox45tallboy vs. BillCo

Who's gonna be RON PAUL? Weaver95?


Skullkrusher.
 
2012-09-11 04:03:12 PM

Fista-Phobia: Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?

Internet Dentist and Black Cat


but they represent the same team... and quite frankly may be the same person.
 
2012-09-11 04:03:30 PM

whidbey: This thread will end badly.


This has Threado Reducto written all over it.
 
2012-09-11 04:03:41 PM

StopLurkListen: Slowdog: While that would be worth $5/month, the Liters will scream "poll tax!".

TotalFARK would be renamed "The Senate" and the commoners have to stick around in Literland, aka "The House of Representatives".


And TFD would be the Secret Police.
 
2012-09-11 04:04:00 PM

whidbey: This thread will end badly.


Gloriously badly.
 
2012-09-11 04:04:02 PM
I knew it. Those Daily Show writers are here every day plumbing our boards for free jokes.

I know you're there! Lurking! I can feel your eyes on me!

...it feels delightful.
 
2012-09-11 04:04:29 PM

Fista-Phobia: Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?

Internet Dentist and Black Cat


Oh, come on. That's like McCainDemocrat running "against" danlpoon.

Can't have the same guy on both sides simultaneously.

BTW, I hereby nominate FlyNavy as Secretary of the Navy, and TheConvincingSavant as Commandant of the Marine Core.
 
2012-09-11 04:04:39 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: Fista-Phobia: Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?

Internet Dentist and Black Cat

but they represent the same team... and quite frankly may be the same person.


Good point.
 
2012-09-11 04:04:59 PM

whidbey: StopLurkListen: Slowdog: While that would be worth $5/month, the Liters will scream "poll tax!".

TotalFARK would be renamed "The Senate" and the commoners have to stick around in Literland, aka "The House of Representatives".

And TFD would be the Secret Police.


what does that make Drew?


\and LP?
 
2012-09-11 04:05:25 PM
But that's impossible! How will Drew maintain control without the bureaucracy?
 
2012-09-11 04:05:26 PM

clambam: We need an income-gathering device that appeals to the stupidity and greed of rich people the same way the Lottery appeals to poor people; thus, the Federal Tax Raffle. Tickets cost $10,000 each. Once a month there is a drawing and the lucky winner never has to pay Federal income taxes again. Twelve tax-free millionaires a year is a small price to pay for the untold wealth this would bring in to the Federal government


Brilliant idea, but wouldn't this violate the Fifth Amendment's equal protection clause?
 
Ant
2012-09-11 04:05:56 PM

un4gvn666: I wouldn't know 90% of the things I know about current events and politics were it not for Fark.com.

/think about how sad that is for a moment
//grab a bottle, if necessary


This
 
2012-09-11 04:05:57 PM

Fista-Phobia: Uchiha_Cycliste: Fista-Phobia: Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?

Internet Dentist and Black Cat

but they represent the same team... and quite frankly may be the same person.

Good point.


as I said before I think Pocket nInja & spentmiles vs Gary and Phil could be pretty entertaining.... not sure how it's much different from 2012, but it would be entertaining none the less.
 
2012-09-11 04:06:19 PM

Fista-Phobia: Uchiha_Cycliste: Fista-Phobia: Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?

Internet Dentist and Black Cat

but they represent the same team... and quite frankly may be the same person.

Good point.


Give GAT or Corvus to Pocket Ninja. Leave the Internet Dentist with Gary.
 
2012-09-11 04:06:31 PM
Tatsuma for SecState (or LulzSec*). colon_pow for House Minority Leader. DROxINxTHExWIND for Secretary of Keepin' it Real. And pants full of macaroni!! for AgSec, for what I hope are obvious reasons.

* I know that's a real thing.
 
2012-09-11 04:07:05 PM

HighOnCraic: But that's impossible! How will Drew maintain control without the bureaucracy?


With frequent siestas.
 
2012-09-11 04:07:06 PM

coeyagi: Tackle our policy debates? In Fark? It's just a bunch of grabastic projection, ad hominem, memes, and snark. And it warms my soul.


No, it said we'd abolish Congress.
 
2012-09-11 04:07:24 PM

HighOnCraic: But that's impossible! How will Drew maintain control without the bureaucracy?


The mods now have direct control over their territories. Derp will keep the local systems in line. Derp and some bannination.
 
2012-09-11 04:07:28 PM

Serious Black: Fista-Phobia: Uchiha_Cycliste: Fista-Phobia: Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?

Internet Dentist and Black Cat

but they represent the same team... and quite frankly may be the same person.

Good point.

Give GAT or Corvus to Pocket Ninja. Leave the Internet Dentist with Gary.


interesting... that could work
 
2012-09-11 04:08:02 PM

HighOnCraic: But that's impossible! How will Drew maintain control without the bureaucracy?


The Derp Star filled with Trolltroopers.
 
2012-09-11 04:08:03 PM

Serious Black: clambam: We need an income-gathering device that appeals to the stupidity and greed of rich people the same way the Lottery appeals to poor people; thus, the Federal Tax Raffle. Tickets cost $10,000 each. Once a month there is a drawing and the lucky winner never has to pay Federal income taxes again. Twelve tax-free millionaires a year is a small price to pay for the untold wealth this would bring in to the Federal government

Brilliant idea, but wouldn't this violate the Fifth Amendment's equal protection clause?


There would be no Constitution. Only the FARQ. For great justice.
 
2012-09-11 04:08:29 PM
Dibs on Traficant.
 
2012-09-11 04:08:41 PM

Parthenogenetic: HighOnCraic: But that's impossible! How will Drew maintain control without the bureaucracy?

The mods now have direct control over their territories. Derp will keep the local systems in line. Derp and some bannination.


I have altered the derp. Pary I don't potato the herp any turtle.

// this thread is fun
 
2012-09-11 04:09:55 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: Dibs on Locke AND Demosthenes


The SF thread is on another tab.
 
2012-09-11 04:09:57 PM
Well, it would help popcorn sales.
 
2012-09-11 04:10:04 PM

coeyagi: Tackle our policy debates? In Fark? It's just a bunch of grabastic projection, ad hominem, memes, and snark. And it warms my soul.


collider.com
 
2012-09-11 04:10:34 PM

Vlad_the_Inaner: Uchiha_Cycliste: Dibs on Locke AND Demosthenes

The SF thread is on another tab.


you're just jealous I got here first.
 
2012-09-11 04:10:38 PM
If Meow Said the Dog is appointed the WH spokesman, where should I be fitted in?

/simply curious
 
2012-09-11 04:10:54 PM

whidbey: Serious Black: clambam: We need an income-gathering device that appeals to the stupidity and greed of rich people the same way the Lottery appeals to poor people; thus, the Federal Tax Raffle. Tickets cost $10,000 each. Once a month there is a drawing and the lucky winner never has to pay Federal income taxes again. Twelve tax-free millionaires a year is a small price to pay for the untold wealth this would bring in to the Federal government

Brilliant idea, but wouldn't this violate the Fifth Amendment's equal protection clause?

There would be no Constitution. Only the FARQ. For great justice.


The other party is constantly subverting the FARQ. My party would put an end to it.
 
2012-09-11 04:11:38 PM
This once and for all removes any doubt that the comedy central folks (and likely daily show/colbert) read fark.
 
2012-09-11 04:11:54 PM
What's a filibuster then? Using the ignore feature on posters who use too many ellipses in their arguments?

//best part... forever
 
2012-09-11 04:11:58 PM
Like Bill Buckley said, we'ed all be better off being ruled by the first 500 names in the phone book....
 
2012-09-11 04:12:00 PM

HighOnCraic: But that's impossible! How will Drew maintain control without the bureaucracy?


Easy, Drew has a Death Star. And it's primary weapon is a site redesign.
 
2012-09-11 04:12:32 PM
IFarkingLoveCocaine.jpg
 
2012-09-11 04:12:44 PM

Citrate1007: I've often suspected that many Comedy Central writers steal material from fark and other internet threads.


The real sources of theivery are your typical "Morning Zoo" radio shows. If it's on Fark on Monday, it'll be discussed on one of those on Tuesday.
 
2012-09-11 04:12:52 PM
One thing is for sure, if that happen, no one would freak out because someone said the word "vagina."

/vagina
 
2012-09-11 04:13:05 PM

Kittypie070: If Meow Said the Dog is appointed the WH spokesman, where should I be fitted in?

/simply curious


MSTD's translator?
you can translate Meow to english, mewo to herpaderp and meow to um, purring and hissing.
 
2012-09-11 04:13:12 PM
j.wigflip.com
 
2012-09-11 04:13:24 PM
God I hope not.
 
2012-09-11 04:13:53 PM

coeyagi: What's a filibuster then? Using the ignore feature on posters who use too many ellipses in their arguments?

//best part... forever


i think filibuster is LP.
 
2012-09-11 04:14:08 PM

Kittypie070: If Meow Said the Dog is appointed the WH spokesman, where should I be fitted in?

/simply curious


Kittypie for Ruth Buzzi 2012
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-09-11 04:14:14 PM

aliendave: I bet we'd get more shiat done.


Probably
 
2012-09-11 04:15:28 PM
i.imgur.com

This is your Bible now. Deal with it.
 
2012-09-11 04:15:30 PM

Slowdog: While that would be worth $5/month, the Liters will scream "poll tax!".


Well... is this where I smug myself at least $525 richer for not going TF?
 
2012-09-11 04:15:39 PM

whidbey: StopLurkListen: Slowdog: While that would be worth $5/month, the Liters will scream "poll tax!".

TotalFARK would be renamed "The Senate" and the commoners have to stick around in Literland, aka "The House of Representatives".

And TFD would be the Secret Police.


I nominate Mike_Lowell as Press Secretary
 
2012-09-11 04:15:40 PM

meat0918: aliendave: I bet we'd get more shiat done.

Probably


We, America or We, farkers?
 
2012-09-11 04:16:38 PM
Any complaints about Weaver being Sec. of State?
 
2012-09-11 04:16:38 PM

nyseattitude: whidbey: StopLurkListen: Slowdog: While that would be worth $5/month, the Liters will scream "poll tax!".

TotalFARK would be renamed "The Senate" and the commoners have to stick around in Literland, aka "The House of Representatives".

And TFD would be the Secret Police.

I nominate Mike_Lowell as Press Secretary IRAQI FOREIGN MINISTER

 
2012-09-11 04:16:43 PM
www.tu-pc.com

I, for one, welcome our new drunken overlords.
 
2012-09-11 04:17:02 PM
F.A.R.K. Resolution 47: Maker's Mark shall be used to aid the deliberations and legislative duties of the governing body, and it's bounty and presence shall never be in doubt. And Tacos.
 
2012-09-11 04:17:39 PM

coeyagi: F.A.R.K. Resolution 47: Maker's Mark shall be used to aid the deliberations and legislative duties of the governing body, and it's bounty and presence shall never be in doubt. And Tacos.


TACOS!
 
2012-09-11 04:18:01 PM

mark12A: Like Bill Buckley said, we'ed all be better off being ruled by the first 500 names in the phone book....


You should google Buckley's "Why the South Must Prevail" for more of his disgusting views on voting issues.

/And smoke less we'ed. :-)
 
2012-09-11 04:18:14 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: Any complaints about Weaver being Sec. of State?


As long as Sabyen91 gets to be National Security Advisor, sure
 
2012-09-11 04:18:19 PM

Parthenogenetic: I hereby nominate Grable's Daughter for the Cabinet post of Naughty Secretary of BIE


What about Studman69?
 
2012-09-11 04:18:22 PM
Enable voting?
 
2012-09-11 04:19:30 PM

Serious Black: Give GAT or Corvus to Pocket Ninja. Leave the Internet Dentist with Gary.


It would be an honor to serve. Besides I think Pocket Ninja is one of the most interesting and witty people on Fark. However I see myself more in a Carville/Rove position myself.
 
2012-09-11 04:19:38 PM

Fista-Phobia: Enable voting?


Done in 97.
 
2012-09-11 04:19:47 PM

coeyagi: F.A.R.K. Resolution 47: Maker's Mark shall be used to aid the deliberations and legislative duties of the governing body


NO! Must be Scotch.

Maker's...bah, how stupid. I demand to see your drinker's certificate, long form.
 
2012-09-11 04:19:49 PM

coeyagi: Uchiha_Cycliste: Any complaints about Weaver being Sec. of State?

As long as Sabyen91 gets to be National Security Advisor, sure


I like how things are shaping up.
 
2012-09-11 04:20:10 PM
"Mister Chairman, I move that we do not vote on this resolution, as it is painfully obvious it has been written for the sole purpose of ad clicks."
 
2012-09-11 04:20:21 PM

palelizard: StopLurkListen: Slowdog: While that would be worth $5/month, the Liters will scream "poll tax!".

TotalFARK would be renamed "The Senate" and the commoners have to stick around in Literland, aka "The House of Representatives".

What about UltraFa+++++++***LOST CARRIER***+++++++++


i.imgur.com

/la-li-lu-le-lo
 
2012-09-11 04:20:22 PM

Fista-Phobia: Enable voting?


*golf clap*
 
2012-09-11 04:20:41 PM

sprawl15: whidbey: Serious Black: clambam: We need an income-gathering device that appeals to the stupidity and greed of rich people the same way the Lottery appeals to poor people; thus, the Federal Tax Raffle. Tickets cost $10,000 each. Once a month there is a drawing and the lucky winner never has to pay Federal income taxes again. Twelve tax-free millionaires a year is a small price to pay for the untold wealth this would bring in to the Federal government

Brilliant idea, but wouldn't this violate the Fifth Amendment's equal protection clause?

There would be no Constitution. Only the FARQ. For great justice.

The other party is constantly subverting the FARQ. My party would put an end to it.


Your party wants to abolish the FARQ and install a drunken mod as dictator-for-life. Subversion is better than abolition.
 
2012-09-11 04:21:39 PM

digistil: Parthenogenetic: I hereby nominate Grable's Daughter for the Cabinet post of Naughty Secretary of BIE

What about Studman69?


He'd just complain constantly about how all women have sharp knees.
 
2012-09-11 04:21:56 PM
"Sarah Palin is automatically president" might be misconstrued by the watching public. Especially if Fox News covers us.
 
2012-09-11 04:22:13 PM

Serious Black: sprawl15: whidbey: Serious Black: clambam: We need an income-gathering device that appeals to the stupidity and greed of rich people the same way the Lottery appeals to poor people; thus, the Federal Tax Raffle. Tickets cost $10,000 each. Once a month there is a drawing and the lucky winner never has to pay Federal income taxes again. Twelve tax-free millionaires a year is a small price to pay for the untold wealth this would bring in to the Federal government

Brilliant idea, but wouldn't this violate the Fifth Amendment's equal protection clause?

There would be no Constitution. Only the FARQ. For great justice.

The other party is constantly subverting the FARQ. My party would put an end to it.

Your party wants to abolish the FARQ and install a drunken mod as dictator-for-life. Subversion is better than abolition.


This is a fantastic plan... as long as *I* am that mod.
 
2012-09-11 04:23:07 PM

Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?


Wrong. Pocket Ninja would be Press Secretary.

Now... I still haven't figured out where Bevits would fit in...
 
2012-09-11 04:23:35 PM

EyeballKid: "Mister Chairman, I move that we do not vote on this resolution, as it is painfully obvious it has been written for the sole purpose of ad clicks."


Great, the Anti-Capitalists just showed up....

Why do you hate Free Enterprise? Why do you hate America?


/i keeeed
 
2012-09-11 04:23:43 PM

reillan: Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?

Wrong. Pocket Ninja would be Press Secretary.

Now... I still haven't figured out where Bevits would fit in...


Secretary of Health and Human Services
 
2012-09-11 04:23:52 PM
First order o business: official beer of the United States.

I know Drew likes Heineken, but I have to vote for Ale Delirium Tremens.

And yes, I know it's imported from Belgium.

Second order of business: Annex Belgium.
 
2012-09-11 04:24:00 PM
img266.imageshack.us
 
2012-09-11 04:24:04 PM
Getting in early on what promises to be a legendary thread.
 
2012-09-11 04:24:25 PM

Slowdog: While that would be worth $5/month, the Liters will scream "poll tax!".




TF will be the House of Lords to their House of Commons.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-09-11 04:24:43 PM
I call bs, no differences are ever resolved in Fark threads. We either talk past each other or (heaven forbid) try to convince each other of things and eventually give up.
 
2012-09-11 04:24:59 PM

reillan: Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?

Wrong. Pocket Ninja would be Press Secretary.

Now... I still haven't figured out where Bevits would fit in...


depends, do we want utopia or dystopia?
 
2012-09-11 04:25:07 PM
Is this further collateral damage from the "Colbert Bump" shut-down?!
 
2012-09-11 04:26:06 PM
Uncle Sam will be replaced by this guy:

fark.upi.com
 
2012-09-11 04:26:25 PM

Fluorescent Testicle: All rise for President LootieFoobies.


FTFY
 
2012-09-11 04:26:32 PM

reillan: Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?

Wrong. Pocket Ninja would be Press Secretary.

Now... I still haven't figured out where Bevits would fit in...


Ambassador to Saudi Arabia?

That said. TCS for Secretary of Defense?
 
2012-09-11 04:26:52 PM

Serious Black: digistil: Parthenogenetic: I hereby nominate Grable's Daughter for the Cabinet post of Naughty Secretary of BIE

What about Studman69?

He'd just complain constantly about how all women have sharp knees.


I always knew he was a Republican.
 
2012-09-11 04:27:14 PM

reillan: Now... I still haven't figured out where Bevits would fit in...


Not actually in the political structure; we'll turn Limbaugh and Beck's listeners over to him. Really, I don't think they'll notice a difference.
 
2012-09-11 04:27:35 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: I call bs, no differences are ever resolved in Fark threads. We either talk past each other or (heaven forbid) try to convince each other of things and eventually give up.


That's so wrongheaded I don't even know what to say to you.
 
2012-09-11 04:27:43 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: I call bs, no differences are ever resolved in Fark threads. We either talk past each other or (heaven forbid) try to convince each other of things and eventually give up.


You're completely wrong about this, and I am fairly close to despising you for it, but I can't be bothered to correct your ignorance.

/toodles...
 
2012-09-11 04:28:14 PM
All appropriations bills must successfully pass through TorD.
 
2012-09-11 04:28:56 PM
Troll-in-Chief: Jokey nickname or future top job?
 
2012-09-11 04:29:04 PM
I'd trust the deliberations of Fark over Congress any day of the week.
 
2012-09-11 04:29:28 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: I call bs, no differences are ever resolved in Fark threads. We either talk past each other or (heaven forbid) try to convince each other of things and eventually give up.


I just think you're an ass!
 
2012-09-11 04:29:30 PM
And Majority Whip would have a whole new meaning.
 
2012-09-11 04:29:35 PM
WHEREAS trolling used to mean something,

WHEREAS ugly-ass animals insist on being born at our zoos,

WHEREAS Sarah Connor has not yet been found,

WHEREAS D) is always "all of the above",

WHEREAS I am posting on the internet,

RESOLVED, on this day, the 11th of Smarch in the year Twenty-Twelve of our Drew (whiskey be upon him), that the PITA must be returned forthwith to ensure that the first 8 comments in any thread revolve around the classifications, not the substance, of any and every article linked herefrom. For it is only when shewn the absurdity of our monaxial political calculus that we can truly know Jesus.
 
2012-09-11 04:29:39 PM

dahmers love zombie: Slowdog: While that would be worth $5/month, the Liters will scream "poll tax!".



TF will be the House of Lords to their House of Commons.

[i.imgur.com image 600x325]


So TF will only exist to comment on the liters and won't actually do anything? Pretty accurate.
 
2012-09-11 04:29:47 PM
I suppose the Israeli ambassador is a no brainer...
 
2012-09-11 04:30:44 PM

Trivia Jockey: HighOnCraic: But that's impossible! How will Drew maintain control without the bureaucracy?

Easy, Drew has a Death Star. And it's primary weapon is a site redesign.


His chief weapon is a site design...a site design and beer...beer and a site design.... His two weapons are beer and a site design...and ruthless inefficiency.... His *three* weapons are beer, a site design, and ruthless inefficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the boobies.... His *four*...no... *Amongst* his weapons.... Amongst his weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again
 
2012-09-11 04:31:08 PM

Fluorescent Testicle: Troll-in-Chief: Jokey nickname or future top job?


I think that would be best made a Cabinet-level position. Secretary of Trolling. You'd probably have to pair it with Secretary of Explaining Shiat to not screw with the population too much. I think alywa would be a great SoT.
 
2012-09-11 04:31:35 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Fark Rye For Many Whores: I call bs, no differences are ever resolved in Fark threads. We either talk past each other or (heaven forbid) try to convince each other of things and eventually give up.

You're completely wrong about this, and I am fairly close to despising you for it, but I can't be bothered to correct your ignorance.

/toodles...


Fark Rye For Many Whores has a point. But as usual, the Fark Consensus merely shouts down the truth with strawmen and ad hominems while never offering legitimate debate. It's probably from all the granola you liberal poofsters eat.
 
2012-09-11 04:31:41 PM

Parthenogenetic: BTW, I hereby nominate FlyNavy as Secretary of the Navy, and TheConvincingSavant as Commandant of the Marine Core.


*snort*
 
2012-09-11 04:31:48 PM

Fluorescent Testicle: Troll-in-Chief: Jokey nickname or future top job?


Czar.
 
2012-09-11 04:33:01 PM
We could have a filiBuster:

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-09-11 04:33:06 PM
This would make it even easier for Jon Stewart to steal material from Fark.
 
2012-09-11 04:33:09 PM
TFD should receive the billions of Planned Parenthood funding since there is no stronger case for abortions to be found on the internet.
 
2012-09-11 04:33:39 PM

reillan: Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?

Wrong. Pocket Ninja would be Press Secretary.

Now... I still haven't figured out where Bevits would fit in...


Also, the history books would need to be rewritten such that Fb- was the father of our nation.
 
2012-09-11 04:33:41 PM

sprawl15: TFD should receive the billions of Planned Parenthood funding since there is no stronger case for abortions to be found on the internet.


GAH!
 
2012-09-11 04:34:30 PM

sprawl15: TFD should receive the billions of Planned Parenthood funding since there is no stronger case for abortions to be found on the internet.


Would we have to shut down the Abortionplex along with that abolition of funding? Cause if so, I'm not on board with that. I love visiting the Abortionplex. Best place to pick up loose chicks on the planet.
 
2012-09-11 04:36:19 PM

Parthenogenetic: Fista-Phobia: Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?

Internet Dentist and Black Cat

Oh, come on. That's like McCainDemocrat running "against" danlpoon.

Can't have the same guy on both sides simultaneously.

BTW, I hereby nominate FlyNavy as Secretary of the Navy, and TheConvincingSavant's wife as Commandant of the Marine Core.


FTFY
 
2012-09-11 04:37:16 PM

dahmers love zombie: TF will be the House of Lords to their House of Commons.

[i.imgur.com image 600x325]


You are a blessing to Farkers.
www.american-buddha.com
 
2012-09-11 04:37:35 PM
I would like to post an amendment to my previous post. May I have a second?
 
2012-09-11 04:38:36 PM

Serious Black: Best place to pick up loose chicks on the planet.


Well, only because we're in a lull between Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
 
2012-09-11 04:39:05 PM
talk about the ultimate in circle jerk threads.

we'd be a communist nation before the sun went down.
 
2012-09-11 04:40:03 PM
The MSM would lose their farking minds.
 
2012-09-11 04:40:28 PM

colon_pow: talk about the ultimate in circle jerk threads.

we'd be a communist nation before the sun went down.


I believe I already pointed this out about 40 minutes ago. Get your head out of your ass and propose some new legislation, stat!
 
2012-09-11 04:40:42 PM

reillan: Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?

Wrong. Pocket Ninja would be Press Secretary.

Now... I still haven't figured out where Bevits would fit in...


Minister of Creation?
 
2012-09-11 04:41:55 PM
i50.tinypic.com
 
2012-09-11 04:42:44 PM
Previously, on board Colonial 798 Heavy:

Kittypie070 2012-02-09 02:27:47 AM

[runs screaming back from thread 6930856]

Sir, Mister President, sir!! Don't use it!! Don't use it!! It's boobytrapped!!

[leaps, tail fully afrizz, up onto the Resolute Desk, claw-shreds the veto bill papers,
drooling spastically and cat-dancing on them as $President stares in amazement]


[leaps off the desk, runs frantically back out, once again slamming facefirst into the bathroom door]


I think that's adequately Ruth Buzzytastic, don't y'all?
 
2012-09-11 04:44:09 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: I call bs, no differences are ever resolved in Fark threads. We either talk past each other or (heaven forbid) try to convince each other of things and eventually give up.


Sounds like an improvement over today's Congress.
 
2012-09-11 04:45:08 PM

Geotpf: The real sources of theivery are your typical "Morning Zoo" radio shows. If it's on Fark on Monday, it'll be discussed on one of those on Tuesday


I'm in Seattle, and I love The Men's Room, but they might as welll just play a few more songs while directing people to got read Fark for the next 10 minutes.
 
2012-09-11 04:45:49 PM

Jekylman: That's so wrongheaded I don't even know what to say to you.


Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: You're completely wrong about this, and I am fairly close to despising you for it, but I can't be bothered to correct your ignorance.

/toodles...


vrax: I just think you're an ass!


lockers: Fark Rye For Many Whores has a point. But as usual, the Fark Consensus merely shouts down the truth with strawmen and ad hominems while never offering legitimate debate. It's probably from all the granola you liberal poofsters eat.


*Reference pages and pages of stuff no one will read. Spam after spam wall o text style you will never read in response. Accusation of misinterpretation of someone else's wall o text you can't believe anyone bothered to read. Counter-accusation. Derpheaded namecalling based on political orientation + slang for shiat = new name.*

/And on that note
//This guy has a beautiful name -> Fecal Conservative
///Now you've figured out I'm a libtard
////I want to take your guns away
 
2012-09-11 04:47:59 PM
Who is with me for any team of the sciences?
 
2012-09-11 04:48:16 PM
I'll farking move to Canada, I swear to God!
 
2012-09-11 04:48:52 PM

theorellior: I'd trust the deliberations of Fark over Congress any day of the week.


I wish the Congressional debates were more like the ones on Fark.
 
2012-09-11 04:49:30 PM
Maybe if the Secretary of Explaining Stuff has a Fark handle.

I've certainly heard stupider ideas. From my current Congresscritters, even. Though that's setting the bar pretty low.
 
2012-09-11 04:50:00 PM

blastoh: theorellior: I'd trust the deliberations of Fark over Congress any day of the week.

I wish the Congressional debates were more like the ones on Fark.


Corvus and Skullkrusher shrieking at eachother for 500 posts?
 
2012-09-11 04:50:28 PM
Whom do I have to bribe to be appointed head of the newly commissioned Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Redheads?
 
2012-09-11 04:51:26 PM

sprawl15: blastoh: theorellior: I'd trust the deliberations of Fark over Congress any day of the week.

I wish the Congressional debates were more like the ones on Fark.

Corvus and Skullkrusher shrieking at eachother for 500 posts?


No, winterwhile posting hundreds of nonsensical statements in strings of letters that barely resemble the English language.
 
2012-09-11 04:53:31 PM
Never happen. Bannination would be equivalent to disenfranchisement, and that just wouldn't fly.
 
2012-09-11 04:54:27 PM

Makh: Who is with me for any team of the sciences?


Me! I always thought that we should study how Noah got the dinosaurs on the ark! I mean, did Jesus ride them there, two at a time?
 
2012-09-11 04:55:30 PM
And don't be surprised if Ali is in the White House
Reverend Ike, Secretary of the Treasure
Richard Pryor, Minister of Education
Stevie Wonder, Secretary of FINE arts
And Miss Aretha Franklin, the First Lady

/Oh wait, that's Obama's secret plan for 2016. . .
//JK.
 
2012-09-11 04:56:01 PM

colon_pow: talk about the ultimate in circle jerk threads.

we'd be a communist nation before the sun went down.


Every Congress needs a McCarthy.
 
2012-09-11 04:56:18 PM

Debeo Summa Credo: Never happen. Bannination would be equivalent to disenfranchisement, and that just wouldn't fly.


If we could shadowban Congresscritters in real life (they can talk but don't realize nobody hears them) life would be sweet.
 
2012-09-11 04:56:43 PM
Well, look at all the conclusions to which we have arrived as a collective whole.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


/keep looking
 
2012-09-11 04:57:42 PM
I'd like to put my name forward as Secretary of Death Panels and FEMA Death Camps.
 
2012-09-11 04:57:47 PM

someonelse: colon_pow: talk about the ultimate in circle jerk threads.

we'd be a communist nation before the sun went down.

Every Congress needs a McCarthy.


Or in this case, an Eeyore.
 
2012-09-11 04:58:42 PM

Debeo Summa Credo: Never happen. Bannination would be equivalent to disenfranchisement, and that just wouldn't fly.


In the United States of Farkistan, you become an unperson upon bannination. To enforce this the act of discussing the banninated shall have the practitioners themselves banninated. Seriously, what was that farkers name who used to copy-pasta URLS that you needed to copy-pasta due to their obvious NSFW nature?
 
2012-09-11 04:59:02 PM

vrax: Makh: Who is with me for any team of the sciences?

Me! I always thought that we should study how Noah got the dinosaurs on the ark! I mean, did Jesus ride them there, two at a time?


distilleryimage9.s3.amazonaws.com
the SFW, and the NSFW.
 
2012-09-11 04:59:22 PM

Shrugging Atlas: I'd like to put my name forward as Secretary of Death Panels and FEMA Death Camps.


What benefits will you provide to your bureaucratic death-dealing ninjas?
 
2012-09-11 04:59:55 PM
I swear I recognize the name of one of those 'Top Commenters' from right here on FARK.
 
2012-09-11 05:00:48 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: vrax: Makh: Who is with me for any team of the sciences?

Me! I always thought that we should study how Noah got the dinosaurs on the ark! I mean, did Jesus ride them there, two at a time?

[distilleryimage9.s3.amazonaws.com image 306x306]
the SFW, and the NSFW.


Yay science!
 
2012-09-11 05:01:18 PM
Yo! I got a plan! You're a dick! South Carolina represent!
 
2012-09-11 05:05:00 PM

Makh: Who is with me for any team of the sciences?


Jon Snow.

Problem solved.

Oh, and Phil Plait aka the Bad Astronomer.
 
2012-09-11 05:05:22 PM
Day 1: South forced back out of Union.
Day 2: South nuked from orbit.
Day 3: See doctor about hand sprain due to excessive high fiving.
 
2012-09-11 05:09:51 PM

Serious Black: Shrugging Atlas: I'd like to put my name forward as Secretary of Death Panels and FEMA Death Camps.

What benefits will you provide to your bureaucratic death-dealing ninjas?


In addition to an autographed copy of my official portrait? Total Fark for life, the belongings of all the victims volunteers that sign up for our Death Camps and Panels, and the promise to never make anyone visit the state of Mississippi.
 
2012-09-11 05:10:31 PM
assets.nydailynews.com

I believe some changes are in order in the national anthem department.
 
2012-09-11 05:10:49 PM
I for one can't wait to debate Rand Paul and for him to cry like a little biatch when I flame him while intellectually depantsing him.
 
2012-09-11 05:11:39 PM
NSFW links would be a granted right.
 
2012-09-11 05:15:11 PM

HighOnCraic: And don't be surprised if Ali is in the White House
Reverend Ike, Secretary of the Treasure
Richard Pryor, Minister of Education
Stevie Wonder, Secretary of FINE arts
And Miss Aretha Franklin, the First Lady

/Oh wait, that's Obama's secret plan for 2016. . .
//JK.


Can you get to that?
 
2012-09-11 05:16:15 PM

Crotchrocket Slim: I for one can't wait to debate Rand Paul and for him to cry like a little biatch when I flame him while intellectually depantsing him.


He'll just choose another alt like he always does.
 
2012-09-11 05:18:02 PM

TheMysticS: HighOnCraic: And don't be surprised if Ali is in the White House
Reverend Ike, Secretary of the Treasure
Richard Pryor, Minister of Education
Stevie Wonder, Secretary of FINE arts
And Miss Aretha Franklin, the First Lady

/Oh wait, that's Obama's secret plan for 2016. . .
//JK.

Can you get to that?


One nation under a groove
Gettin' down just for the funk of it
One nation and we're on the move
Nothin' can stop us now!

/Do to you promise to funk, the whole funk, nothin' but the funk?
 
2012-09-11 05:18:14 PM

Shrugging Atlas: Serious Black: Shrugging Atlas: I'd like to put my name forward as Secretary of Death Panels and FEMA Death Camps.

What benefits will you provide to your bureaucratic death-dealing ninjas?

In addition to an autographed copy of my official portrait? Total Fark for life, the belongings of all the victims volunteers that sign up for our Death Camps and Panels, and the promise to never make anyone visit the state of Mississippi.


I'll support your candidacy as long as you make me Head Ninja.
 
2012-09-11 05:19:31 PM

coeyagi: Tackle our policy debates? In Fark? It's just a bunch of grabastic projection, ad hominem, memes, and snark. And it warms my soul.


I know. Half the time I just want to reach out and throttle the half of you, freedom of speech be-damned, but I'd miss it if it were gone.

Perhaps in the future, matters of Congress can be settled in duel between BattleMechs? You could PPV and solve the national debt problem in a week.
 
2012-09-11 05:21:07 PM

HighOnCraic: TheMysticS: HighOnCraic: And don't be surprised if Ali is in the White House
Reverend Ike, Secretary of the Treasure
Richard Pryor, Minister of Education
Stevie Wonder, Secretary of FINE arts
And Miss Aretha Franklin, the First Lady

/Oh wait, that's Obama's secret plan for 2016. . .
//JK.

Can you get to that?

One nation under a groove
Gettin' down just for the funk of it
One nation and we're on the move
Nothin' can stop us now!

/Do to you promise to funk, the whole funk, nothin' but the funk?


I do
 
2012-09-11 05:22:05 PM
"My fellow Americans, as Secretary of Agriculture, I believe that we as a people need to adjust our domestic priorities to combat the rise in soy-based substitutes for American staples. It is now the official policy of my office to further the Beer-Boobies-Bacon initiative. This fight will not be easy, but it will be fun. Give me time, and trust my judgement. Thank you, and may Mods Bless America"
 
2012-09-11 05:22:59 PM
Hey, wait, if we ran the government, could we put people we don't like on ignore?
What would that entail? Or mean?

/you're first, MOM
//issues
 
2012-09-11 05:23:44 PM

Serious Black: sprawl15: blastoh: theorellior: I'd trust the deliberations of Fark over Congress any day of the week.

I wish the Congressional debates were more like the ones on Fark.

Corvus and Skullkrusher shrieking at eachother for 500 posts?

No, winterwhile posting hundreds of nonsensical statements in strings of letters that barely resemble the English language.


BEST PART... FOREVER.
 
2012-09-11 05:23:48 PM

TheMysticS: Hey, wait, if we ran the government, could we put people we don't like on ignore?
What would that entail? Or mean?

/you're first, MOM
//issues


Honestly, a ballot with an ignore function would be the greatest invention in modern history.
 
2012-09-11 05:26:04 PM
I thought we already did.
 
2012-09-11 05:26:45 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: "My fellow Americans, as Secretary of Agriculture, I believe that we as a people need to adjust our domestic priorities to combat the rise in soy-based substitutes for American staples. It is now the official policy of my office to further the Beer-Boobies-Bacon initiative. This fight will not be easy, but it will be fun. Give me time, and trust my judgement. Thank you, and may Mods Bless America"


That would be perfect.

All we gotta to is scratch out the g, make it an M, and add an S to all our monies.
 
2012-09-11 05:26:54 PM
fc06.deviantart.net
the secretary of for your health.
and i, markoff cheney, have appointed myself as the secretary of awesomesauce.
those are both things right?
well, they will be.
 
2012-09-11 05:35:09 PM

Masso: I propose a Free Beer and Hookers Acts for all adults over 25 as part of stimulus. I need co-sponsor.


i44.tinypic.com
 
2012-09-11 05:37:41 PM

vrax: Fluorescent Testicle: Troll-in-Chief: Jokey nickname or future top job?

Czar.


What you've done there, I see it, yes I do.
 
2012-09-11 05:42:05 PM
Whoa, we're almost 200 comments in and nobody's mentioned legalizing pot? Amazing.

/can't see some images, maybe there's something I missed.
 
2012-09-11 05:43:45 PM

Serious Black: Shrugging Atlas: Serious Black: Shrugging Atlas: I'd like to put my name forward as Secretary of Death Panels and FEMA Death Camps.

What benefits will you provide to your bureaucratic death-dealing ninjas?

In addition to an autographed copy of my official portrait? Total Fark for life, the belongings of all the victims volunteers that sign up for our Death Camps and Panels, and the promise to never make anyone visit the state of Mississippi.

I'll support your candidacy as long as you make me Head Ninja.


Done! Or should I say, "Done, Head Ninja!"
 
2012-09-11 05:47:17 PM
See, that's why I stick around here: just to be close to the levers of power. Sweet, sweet power.
 
2012-09-11 05:49:05 PM

Arkanaut: Whoa, we're almost 200 comments in and nobody's mentioned legalizing pot? Amazing.

/can't see some images, maybe there's something I missed.


First you have to agree on the shape of the table, then you get down to the real issues. This is a chance to dance our way out of our constrictions.
 
2012-09-11 05:51:33 PM
My fellow Farkistanians,

We choose to post these ramblings, not because they are hard, but because they're easy. Ask yourself, are you better off today than you were those years ago before you established your Fark account? On some day in 1999, a date which should live in infamy, the Internet was maliciously and deliberatly attacked by blog and blather forces of the empire of Farkistan. The world wide web wants to know if we're crooks. Well, some of us are not crooks. We don't have [insert favorite alt here] to kick around any more. The flood protection stops here. We stand at the threshold of a new day, where a thousand pints of Lite glisten upon our keyboards. I feel your derp. But ask not what the modmins can do for you, ask what you can do to make Drew greenlight you. There you go again--I didn't know Drew Curtis. Drew Curtis is not a friend of mine, and you, sir, are no Drew Curtis.

I'm doyner and I approve this message
 
2012-09-11 05:53:16 PM

Curse of the Goth Kids: See, that's why I stick around here: just to be close to the levers of power. Sweet, sweet power.


Hey, even if there was a single post for each Farker we still have fewer people in this thread than are in Congress now. We could slot everyone in and still have room for more. What district would you like to represent?
 
2012-09-11 05:54:03 PM
Who does a guy have to blow around here to get some Congressional pages?
 
2012-09-11 05:54:10 PM

Kittypie070: If Meow Said the Dog is appointed the WH spokesman, where should I be fitted in?

/simply curious


you sure you really want to ask that?
 
2012-09-11 05:55:44 PM

Mercutio74: Farking Eh!

If Jon has a Fark handle

outs his handle, I would be so impressed.
 
2012-09-11 05:55:48 PM

theorellior: Curse of the Goth Kids: See, that's why I stick around here: just to be close to the levers of power. Sweet, sweet power.

Hey, even if there was a single post for each Farker we still have fewer people in this thread than are in Congress now. We could slot everyone in and still have room for more. What district would you like to represent?


I am about convinced that we have fewer trolls and retards on fark than we do in government.
 
2012-09-11 05:57:04 PM

Jekylman: Arkanaut: Whoa, we're almost 200 comments in and nobody's mentioned legalizing pot? Amazing.

/can't see some images, maybe there's something I missed.

First you have to agree on the shape of the table, then you get down to the real issues. This is a chance to dance our way out of our constrictions.


"Pledge a groovallegiance to the Fark
The United Fark of Farkadelica"
 
2012-09-11 05:57:34 PM

threadjackistan: Masso: I propose a Free Beer and Hookers Acts for all adults over 25 as part of stimulus. I need co-sponsor.

[i44.tinypic.com image 352x240]


I'm in.
 
2012-09-11 05:58:13 PM

theorellior: Curse of the Goth Kids: See, that's why I stick around here: just to be close to the levers of power. Sweet, sweet power.

Hey, even if there was a single post for each Farker we still have fewer people in this thread than are in Congress now. We could slot everyone in and still have room for more. What district would you like to represent?


img253.imageshack.us

"Australia!"
 
2012-09-11 05:59:30 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: vrax: Makh: Who is with me for any team of the sciences?

Me! I always thought that we should study how Noah got the dinosaurs on the ark! I mean, did Jesus ride them there, two at a time?

[distilleryimage9.s3.amazonaws.com image 306x306]
the SFW, and the NSFW.


That's...uhhh..something
 
2012-09-11 06:01:40 PM
and i shall accept the appointment of Queen Sapho-smeegs, Envoy to the Lesbians of Farkistancia.
 
2012-09-11 06:02:42 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: I call bs, no differences are ever resolved in Fark threads. We either talk past each other or (heaven forbid) try to convince each other of things and eventually give up.


Party Pooper!

yes, I said pooper
 
2012-09-11 06:03:53 PM
We shall go on to the end. We shall Fark in France, we shall Fark on the seas and oceans, we shall Fark with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall Fark on the beaches, we shall Fark on the landing grounds, we shall Fark in the fields and in the streets, we shall Fark in the hills; we shall never surrender!
 
2012-09-11 06:06:28 PM

HighOnCraic: we shall never surrender!


And we shall annex the land of Meme and make it our own.
 
2012-09-11 06:08:50 PM
You see, boys forget what their country means by just reading Fark in history books. Then they get to be men they forget even more. Total Fark's too precious a thing to be buried in books, Mr Curtis. Men should hold it up in front of them every single day of their lives and say: I'm free to think and to speak. My ancestors couldn't, I can, and my children will. Boys ought to grow up remembering that.
 
2012-09-11 06:10:17 PM

ravenlore: Mercutio74: Farking Eh!

If Jon has a Fark handle outs his handle, I would be so impressed.


at least some of his writers. i have on several occasions seen jokes verbatim from fark on daily show.
 
2012-09-11 06:10:29 PM
This reminds me of the biggest interdimensional ALT cross rip since the Tunguska blast of 1909.
 
2012-09-11 06:12:30 PM
9/11. Facts about dead people. Facts about country coming together. Never forget. Lee Greenwood as Minstrel-in-Chief. Toby Keith as Secretary of War.

It would have been better if we were given the keys on 9/12.
 
2012-09-11 06:12:34 PM
"With all due respect, could the distinguished Farker from Florida just DIAF?"
 
2012-09-11 06:15:24 PM

coeyagi: 9/11. Facts about dead people. Facts about country coming together. Never forget. Lee Greenwood as Minstrel-in-Chief. Toby Keith as Secretary of War.

It would have been better if we were given the keys on 9/12.


Pass that my way will ya. LOL
I offer up Ryan to head the Ministry of Truth.
 
2012-09-11 06:19:25 PM

theorellior: Hey, even if there was a single post for each Farker we still have fewer people in this thread than are in Congress now. We could slot everyone in and still have room for more. What district would you like to represent?


Texas's sixty-ninth... THA FIGHTIN SIXTY-NINTH!
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-09-11 06:20:17 PM
THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED that subby's mom is a whore and his blog sucks.
 
2012-09-11 06:22:32 PM
i47.tinypic.com
 
2012-09-11 06:24:10 PM

Stile4aly: THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED that subby's mom is a whore and his blog sucks.


So say we all.
 
2012-09-11 06:27:31 PM
AYE!
 
2012-09-11 06:34:25 PM
If there were any *worse* place to debate policy, it would be here.

/a high concentration of aspies-riddled tech-industry libertarians? no. just... no, no, no.
 
2012-09-11 06:38:33 PM

whidbey: This thread will end badly.


*snicker*
 
2012-09-11 06:56:58 PM

AkaDad: "With all due respect, could the distinguished Farker from Florida just DIAF?"


NO U!
 
2012-09-11 07:02:44 PM

imontheinternet: [assets.nydailynews.com image 485x348]

I believe some changes are in order in the national anthem department.


I heard he sang that in Russian!
 
2012-09-11 07:05:40 PM

Ooba Tooba: I would enjoy meow said the dog as white house spokesperson.


Second.

Also nominate Kittypie070 as Secretary of Defense.
 
2012-09-11 07:06:22 PM
It's getting to the point where we need to abolish local gov't just to get some repairs/upgrades to our infrastructure around here. When did things get so regressive around here?

/LA area
 
2012-09-11 07:36:44 PM

coeyagi: Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?

Ox45tallboy vs. BillCo


i'm staying out of that one in hopes for a political appointment as Captions Czar regardless of who wins.
 
2012-09-11 07:46:19 PM

Some fancy mottos for logos and currency?

Non Creamus Nuntio, Subsannamus


("We don't create the news, we mock it")

Non Est Nuntius, Fark.com Est


("It's not news, it's Fark.com")

/go easy, Latin nazis. It's been twenty five years since I gradumuated from parochial school.
 
2012-09-11 07:47:11 PM

coeyagi: Tackle our policy debates? In Fark? It's just a bunch of grabastic projection, ad hominem, memes, and snark. And it warms my soul.


/And slashies
//you
///forgot
////the
//slashies
 
2012-09-11 07:53:11 PM
I get the B.I.A..
 
2012-09-11 08:00:08 PM
According to my very limited experience with the UK, the House of Commons already acts like Fark, yelling and screaming at each other.
 
2012-09-11 08:11:40 PM

coeyagi: Uncle Sam will be replaced by this guy:


Is that guy trying to swallow his own mouth?
 
2012-09-11 08:26:17 PM

balki1867: As much as we rip on the politics tab, fark is easily the most intelligent political discussion i get to read.


I concur.
 
2012-09-11 08:27:00 PM
And the country will be better off.

*girl crying by locker.jpg*
Welcome to Congress.
 
2012-09-11 08:37:28 PM
So awesome to get some love from the Daily Show nation.

GIS for "we made it":

25.media.tumblr.com

Seriously though we should be the people to tackle policy debates for those r-tards in Washington.
 
2012-09-11 08:47:17 PM
On behalf of my constituents I hereby move that the official sport of Canada's Pants (new name) shall be pro-wrestling, and that it SHALL BE REFERRED TO AS A SPORT AS IT SHOULD BE.

Also, beer for everyone. And not that crap made by Budweiser.
 
2012-09-11 08:49:19 PM
I propose we implement a version of Prime Minister's Questions each week and call it "Moderator's Questions...." That way each side would have an opportunity to grill the mods over their obvious bias in the stories that get green lit during the week..
 
2012-09-11 08:50:18 PM

Representative of the unwashed masses: On behalf of my constituents I hereby move that the official sport of Canada's Pants

Bonerland (new name) shall be pro-wrestling female Jello wrestling, and that it SHALL BE REFERRED TO AS A SPORT AS IT SHOULD BE. Also, beer for everyone. And not that crap made by Budweiser.

/FTFY.
 
2012-09-11 08:52:38 PM

Fluorescent Testicle:
/FTFY.


I approve of your proposed changes...
 
2012-09-11 09:00:10 PM

Fluorescent Testicle: Representative of the unwashed masses: On behalf of my constituents I hereby move that the official sport of Canada's Pants Bonerland Weedlord Bonerland (new name) shall be pro-wrestling female Jello wrestling, and that it SHALL BE REFERRED TO AS A SPORT AS IT SHOULD BE. Also, beer and bacon for everyone. And not that crap made by Budweiser.

/FTFY.


/FTFY
 
2012-09-11 09:01:52 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: whidbey: StopLurkListen: Slowdog: While that would be worth $5/month, the Liters will scream "poll tax!".

TotalFARK would be renamed "The Senate" and the commoners have to stick around in Literland, aka "The House of Representatives".

And TFD would be the Secret Police.

what does that make Drew?


Soros?
 
2012-09-11 09:04:40 PM

Tumunga: Uchiha_Cycliste: whidbey: StopLurkListen: Slowdog: While that would be worth $5/month, the Liters will scream "poll tax!".

TotalFARK would be renamed "The Senate" and the commoners have to stick around in Literland, aka "The House of Representatives".

And TFD would be the Secret Police.

what does that make Drew?


Soros?


Why I feels marginalized somehow?
 
2012-09-11 09:20:45 PM

ATRDCI: Fluorescent Testicle: Representative of the unwashed masses: On behalf of my constituents I hereby move that the official sport of Canada's Pants Bonerland Weedlord Bonerland (new name) shall be pro-wrestling female Jello wrestling, and that it SHALL BE REFERRED TO AS A SPORT AS IT SHOULD BE. Also, beer and bacon for everyone. And not that crap made by Budweiser.

/FTFY.


I think we need to specify exactly which beer.

My proposal:

farm4.static.flickr.com
 
2012-09-11 09:55:40 PM
Suck it, hundreds of people with Reddit logos on their signs at the Rally To Restore Sanity And/Or Fear!

Comedy Central's political shows steal all their best material from This Very Site! Proven!

/saw Aasif Mandvi at a bar once.
 
2012-09-11 10:17:16 PM

poot_rootbeer: Comedy Central's political shows steal all their best material from This Very Site!


img1.fark.net
 
2012-09-11 10:44:05 PM

Citrate1007: I've often suspected that many Comedy Central writers steal material from fark and other internet threads.



I've often suspected that Barack Obama's speechwriters steal themes from my Politics Tab posts. I'm so vain, sometimes.
 
2012-09-11 10:57:02 PM
Gyrfalcon 2012-09-11 07:05:40 PM

Ooba Tooba: I would enjoy meow said the dog as white house spokesperson.

Second.

Also nominate Kittypie070 as Secretary of Defense.


Holy Hells! I am deeply humbled!

/runs to grab N7 armor outta closet
 
2012-09-11 11:00:39 PM

Parthenogenetic: I hereby nominate Grable's Daughter for the Cabinet post of Naughty Secretary of BIE


Good call, though we still have to find a post for Rainbow Brite.
 
2012-09-11 11:14:13 PM
Well, may as well go all in here. My picks, regardless of who would win the Presidency:

State: GAT 00
Defense: Weaver95
Justice: Britney's Speculum

Also, some new departments:

Sports: First National Bastard
Photoshop: Yammering Splat Vector and Hobblekitty
Jacket wearing/Pipebombs: Tenor Reaper
Trolling/Threadjacking: BillCo/Tenpoundsofcheese (same person)
 
2012-09-11 11:20:28 PM

Gyrfalcon: Ooba Tooba: I would enjoy meow said the dog as white house spokesperson.

Second.

Also nominate Kittypie070 as Secretary of Defense.


You get to be Attorney-General but you have to job-share with Theaetetus.
 
2012-09-11 11:35:21 PM
I don't have any grand ambitions for higher office. I'm content to represent the Hollywood Liberal Elite.
 
2012-09-12 01:05:07 AM

Gyrfalcon: Ooba Tooba: I would enjoy meow said the dog as white house spokesperson.

Second.

Also nominate Kittypie070 as Secretary of Defense.


I was thinking the Office of Science and Tech Advisor, myself.
 
2012-09-12 01:19:46 AM

steerforth: Gyrfalcon: Ooba Tooba: I would enjoy meow said the dog as white house spokesperson.

Second.

Also nominate Kittypie070 as Secretary of Defense.

You get to be Attorney-General but you have to job-share with Theaetetus.


Thanks for the honor, but one or the other of us would end up dead.

Unless being lawyers, we'd agree to submerge our petty differences for the common goal of fleecing everyone out of as much money as possible.
 
2012-09-12 01:51:08 AM
By 2020 the next civil war will be declared.
 
2012-09-12 02:14:02 AM

propasaurus: I don't have any grand ambitions for higher office. I'm content to represent the Hollywood Liberal Elite.


Yeah... and I'd be just peachy with representing the Off My Lawn constituency...
 
2012-09-12 02:14:57 AM
I hereby declare myself gran exalted emporer.

/Bow before your god...
 
2012-09-12 02:22:19 AM

Fark Me To Tears: propasaurus: I don't have any grand ambitions for higher office. I'm content to represent the Hollywood Liberal Elite.

Yeah... and I'd be just peachy with representing the Off My Lawn constituency...


Well, as we've seen with the Eastwood issue, there does seem to be some crossover between the Hollywood Elite faction and the Off My Lawn constituency.
 
2012-09-12 04:30:02 AM

propasaurus: Fark Me To Tears: propasaurus: I don't have any grand ambitions for higher office. I'm content to represent the Hollywood Liberal Elite.

Yeah... and I'd be just peachy with representing the Off My Lawn constituency...

Well, as we've seen with the Eastwood issue, there does seem to be some crossover between the Hollywood Elite faction and the Off My Lawn constituency.


Squint is the only one that, if he said "Get off my lawn!" I'd scurry as fast as I could toward the nearest national border.
 
2012-09-12 04:51:13 AM
I nominate Amos Quito for Director of Foreign Policy.

Me? I'd just like come cafeteria vouchers.
 
2012-09-12 04:53:43 AM
Oh, and "the one who shall not be named" as Director of Media Communications.
 
2012-09-12 06:55:55 AM
A policy debate wouldn't be much of a debate on Fark. The only things people disagree about is whether someone is hot or not.
 
2012-09-12 07:02:14 AM

reillan: Taramoor: 2020 Presidential Race

Pocket Ninja vs GaryPDX

But who would be the VP candidates?

Wrong. Pocket Ninja would be Press Secretary.

Now... I still haven't figured out where Bevits would fit in...


I though of that. Secretary of education. While we sit back and watch the world burn.
 
2012-09-12 07:05:27 AM

bdub77: ATRDCI: Fluorescent Testicle: Representative of the unwashed masses: On behalf of my constituents I hereby move that the official sport of Canada's Pants Bonerland Weedlord Bonerland (new name) shall be pro-wrestling female Jello wrestling, and that it SHALL BE REFERRED TO AS A SPORT AS IT SHOULD BE. Also, beer and bacon for everyone. And not that crap made by Budweiser.

/FTFY.

I think we need to specify exactly which beer.

My proposal:


Boy, that looks yummy.
Never seen that one? Where's it from?
 
2012-09-12 10:11:22 AM

Gyrfalcon: Unless being lawyers, we'd agree to submerge our petty differences for the common goal of fleecing everyone out of as much money as possible.


How much are you billing for that Fark post?
 
2012-09-12 12:43:37 PM
Representative of the unwashed masses 2012-09-12 02:14:57 AM

I hereby declare myself gran exalted emporer.

/Bow before your god...


You can't DO that, we already HAVE an Emperor.

meetinnovators.com

*kity blowz razzberry at U*
 
2012-09-12 01:09:34 PM

Kittypie070: Representative of the unwashed masses 2012-09-12 02:14:57 AM

I hereby declare myself gran exalted emporer.

/Bow before your god...

You can't DO that, we already HAVE an Emperor.

[meetinnovators.com image 298x386]

*kity blowz razzberry at U*


He is the emporer. I am the gran exalted emporer. I win.

And yes I see the typo but when you have cajones as large as mine you get to make up new words.
 
2012-09-12 01:59:47 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Well, may as well go all in here. My picks, regardless of who would win the Presidency:

State: GAT 00
Defense: Weaver95
Justice: Britney's Speculum

Also, some new departments:

Sports: First National Bastard
Photoshop: Yammering Splat Vector and Hobblekitty
Jacket wearing/Pipebombs: Tenor Reaper
Trolling/Threadjacking: BillCo/Tenpoundsofcheese (same person)


Thank you GMJ. If elected I promise to give my very all to the cause. ;-)
 
2012-09-12 04:01:08 PM

Porous Horace: Oh, and "the one who shall not be named" as Director of Media Communications.


RogRog backwards?

Who else remembers and mourns his loss?

What I want to know is this: what job would Ghastly have?
 
2012-09-12 07:40:14 PM
Penis.
 
2012-09-13 07:46:13 AM
Why am I never awake for the awesome threads?
 
2012-09-14 12:01:33 AM
yeah yeah yeah Emperors....

[checks closet for N7 armor and maintenance for same]
 
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