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(Comic Book Resources)   Marvel Comics finds a way to make their lamest X-Men even worse (warning: Spoilers)   (comicbookresources.com ) divider line
    More: Fail, X-Men, Cyclops, Jerome Opena, Alonso  
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9465 clicks; posted to Geek » on 11 Sep 2012 at 4:44 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-11 01:13:35 PM  
They're giving Gambit more pouches?
 
2012-09-11 01:32:18 PM  
Huh. I never knew that "DC" stood for Diamond Comics. Of course, I never was really all that curious, either.
 
2012-09-11 01:32:55 PM  
At least Negasonic Teenage Warhead* is still dead.

*Yes, that was her actual X-Men codename.
 
2012-09-11 01:39:51 PM  
Wait...Cyclops is the Phoenix now? Jeezuz....I'm glad I dropped the X-Men years ago.
 
2012-09-11 02:09:01 PM  
I don't know much about comics but just based on the movies, Cyclops is kinda lame. And Wolverine was right, he was also kind of a dick. This could only help his character. But I am kind of a sucker for stories about good guys who go bad.
 
2012-09-11 02:09:04 PM  

xanadian: Huh. I never knew that "DC" stood for Diamond Comics. Of course, I never was really all that curious, either.


It doesn't. Diamond is a (the?) comic book distributor. They're different than DC, the comic book publisher (where the DC stands for "Detective Comics")
 
2012-09-11 02:42:50 PM  

xanadian: Huh. I never knew that "DC" stood for Diamond Comics. Of course, I never was really all that curious, either.


OK, I'll bite.

DC stands for Detective Comics. Diamond Comics is a distributor.
However, the DC owned Independent News distributed Atlas/Marvel for several years.
Comics business history is fairly interesting.
 
2012-09-11 03:21:39 PM  

Mugato: just based on the movies, Cyclops is kinda lame. And Wolverine was right, he was also kind of a dick.


In the comics, Cyclops was the team leader, a total boy scout, and the standard-bear of Professor Xavier's philosophy. He was also incredibly powerful and central to the machinations of bad guys like Apocalypse and Sinister.

In the movies, he's a tertiary character whose only role is playing foil to Wolverine and coming between pussified Wolverine and his love interest...who was actually Cyclops's wife in the comics.
 
2012-09-11 03:47:19 PM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: xanadian: Huh. I never knew that "DC" stood for Diamond Comics. Of course, I never was really all that curious, either.

OK, I'll bite.

DC stands for Detective Comics. Diamond Comics is a distributor.
However, the DC owned Independent News distributed Atlas/Marvel for several years.
Comics business history is fairly interesting.


Oh.

...

Comic book nerd, I am most certainly not.

*exeunt*
 
2012-09-11 03:48:13 PM  
I will say, though, that calling them "DC Comics" is a bit tautological...

/I think I used the right word
//having a hard time braining today
///and, yes, I know they call themselves that, too
 
2012-09-11 04:05:59 PM  

xanadian: I will say, though, that calling them "DC Comics" is a bit tautological...


A tautology is usually a redundancy in meaning using different words, e.g. "my own hands", "personally, in my view I think", etc. I believe the technical term for "PIN number" and "DC Comics" is redundant expansion of an acronym.
 
2012-09-11 04:12:27 PM  

xanadian: I will say, though, that calling them "DC Comics" is a bit tautological...


Well, nobody refers to Detective Comics as "DC" and nobody calls the publishing company "Detective Comics." The company just wanted to associate lesser titles with the flagship title and over time the company became known as "DC" which years later became the name of the company.

www.wired.com
 
2012-09-11 04:52:10 PM  

Sgt Otter: At least Negasonic Teenage Warhead* is still dead.

*Yes, that was her actual X-Men codename.


I'm sorry, is Monster Magnet too awesome for you?

It's funny, Grant Morrison named her after the song, and Monster Magnet constantly references Marvel comics. One of their songs is Ego, The Living Planet.

kid_icarus: Wait...Cyclops is the Phoenix now? Jeezuz....I'm glad I dropped the X-Men years ago.


Cyclops, White Queen, Colossus, Magick, and Namor became the Pheonix when Tony Stark's Phoenixkiller armor split up the essence of Phoenix before it could go into Hope Summers. That's the whole Avengers Vs. X-Men thing, and it won't be an ongoing idea.

Also, Scott's been cool ever since he started banging Emma Frost, and recently he's basically gone full Magneto, which makes him awesome.
 
2012-09-11 04:54:57 PM  
God, I didn't think they could make Cyclops an even bigger dick, then came Avengers vs. Xmen.
 
2012-09-11 04:57:15 PM  

Masso: God, I didn't think they could make Cyclops an even bigger dick, then came Avengers vs. Xmen.


Dicklops is awesome. I honestly love the dynamic of Wolverine becoming the (relative) optimistic head of the school while Cyclops is fed up and running a mutant utopia like Magneto.
 
2012-09-11 04:59:27 PM  
They brought back Dazzler and made her a Lady Gaga analogue?
 
2012-09-11 05:04:17 PM  
simpsonswiki.net
 
2012-09-11 05:05:51 PM  
They took Jubilee's powers away and then made her a vampire.

/jumping the shark x10^9
 
2012-09-11 05:06:51 PM  

Bloody William: Scott's been cool ever since he started banging Emma Frost, and recently he's basically gone full Magneto, which makes him awesome cliche.

 
2012-09-11 05:19:41 PM  
If they wanted to make Cyke interesting, they should have just made him a villain without giving him Phoenix powers. All the crap the X-Men have gone through over the past few years, Scott has kept the faith through it all, but this last one could be breaking point for him.

- We've been told for 30 years how Scott is this master strategist/leader on par with Cap, as a villain he could prove it.
- Let's remember that Scott's powers are no joke when he cuts lose. He can level Sentinels, overpower Bishop with the sheer depth of his power reserve, etc. He doesn't do this sort of thing as a hero much, but as a villain, he could go and, say, level Detroit. No, he couldn't tank the Avengers or a full X-Men squad all by himself, but he could hold his own/get good shots in against any individual members.
- He's potentially got access to Shi'ar and/or Celestial level technology, allowing him to possess any number of deus ex machina escape devices.
- While he's not powerful enough to carry a Brotherhood-level team by himself like Mags can, give him a team with slightly more powerful members than Blob and Toad, coupled with some incredible plans and ruthlessness, and he could be a serious threat.

You could get 10 years easy out of Scott and his team showing up to kick some ass every 6-9 months, with Xavier/Logan/Jean(if alive)/etc all angsting about stopping Scott or finding the good left in him or wanting to kill him or whatever. It's the great betrayal of Xavier's dream, and hell, you throw Sinister or Poccy in the mix, you could even start killing him off and bringing him back all the time.
 
2012-09-11 05:53:35 PM  
I got one way of making Cyclops better:

img13.imageshack.us
 
2012-09-11 05:57:34 PM  
hey cyclops, Nightwing called and wants to know why you stole his costume.

www.geekrest.com
 
2012-09-11 06:01:32 PM  

steve-0: hey cyclops, Nightwing called and wants to know why you stole his costume.

[www.geekrest.com image 680x544]


Then he answered, "Hey you asshole, you know why I went with red? Because you are Nightwing, you're shtick is BLUE. You were BLUE in Teen Titans. You were BLUE when you're in Bludhaven. Why the fark did you go with red. Gawd, that's so stupid. fark that shiat."
 
2012-09-11 06:02:52 PM  
Headline: lamest X-men

Article: not about Maggot or Adam X the X-treme.

wtf?!?
 
2012-09-11 06:07:47 PM  

Masso: steve-0: hey cyclops, Nightwing called and wants to know why you stole his costume.

[www.geekrest.com image 680x544]

Then he answered, "Hey you asshole, you know why I went with red? Because you are Nightwing, you're shtick is BLUE. You were BLUE in Teen Titans. You were BLUE when you're in Bludhaven. Why the fark did you go with red. Gawd, that's so stupid. fark that shiat."


What kind of shiatty mask is that for a disguise? It might as well just be eye liner. I suppose it's not as lame as Clark Kent's glasses but it's pretty farking lame.
 
2012-09-11 06:08:23 PM  

steve-0: hey cyclops, Nightwing called and wants to know why you stole his costume.

[www.geekrest.com image 680x544]


It's totally not the same. Cyclops has a red junk-protector/ pointer.
 
2012-09-11 06:19:55 PM  

Subdue their bellies: Headline: lamest X-men

Article: not about Maggot or Adam X the X-treme.

wtf?!?


Jubilee. So lame they had to turn her into a vampire!!
 
2012-09-11 06:24:38 PM  

kronicfeld:
In the comics, Cyclops was ... the standard-bear of Professor Xavier's philosophy.


I've always appreciated the standard-bear measurement system, what allows us to accurately measure the bear-ness of all of the bears one finds in nature. For example, the North American black bear is usually 0.9 standard bears, while your average grizzly is around 2.1 Pandas are a lowly 0.3 (but scroe much higher on the less popular teddy-bear system).

/If it's not a standard-bear, it's an illegitmate bear, and the body has a way to just shut down that sort of thing
//You might say that Akin is the standard bearer for abortive political campaigns
 
2012-09-11 06:24:42 PM  

Masso: steve-0: hey cyclops, Nightwing called and wants to know why you stole his costume.

[www.geekrest.com image 680x544]

Then he answered, "Hey you asshole, you know why I went with red? Because you are Nightwing, you're shtick is BLUE. You were BLUE in Teen Titans. You were BLUE when you're in Bludhaven. Why the fark did you go with red. Gawd, that's so stupid. fark that shiat."


implying cyclops' costume was ever red before as well? dick grayson started wearing red from day 1. and this red nightwing costume has been around a lot longer than cyclops' "redesign".
 
2012-09-11 06:29:02 PM  
Expected this to be about Rogue.

/Without Ms. Marvel's juice she's NOTHIN'
 
2012-09-11 07:35:38 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: I got one way of making Cyclops better:


Making him a fat chick?
 
2012-09-11 07:57:11 PM  

Masso: steve-0: hey cyclops, Nightwing called and wants to know why you stole his costume.

[www.geekrest.com image 680x544]

Then he answered, "Hey you asshole, you know why I went with red? Because you are Nightwing, you're shtick is BLUE. You were BLUE in Teen Titans. You were BLUE when you're in Bludhaven. Why the fark did you go with red. Gawd, that's so stupid. fark that shiat."


i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com

Um, what?
 
2012-09-11 08:02:25 PM  

Bloody William: Sgt Otter: At least Negasonic Teenage Warhead* is still dead.

*Yes, that was her actual X-Men codename.

I'm sorry, is Monster Magnet too awesome for you?

It's funny, Grant Morrison named her after the song, and Monster Magnet constantly references Marvel comics. One of their songs is Ego, The Living Planet.

kid_icarus: Wait...Cyclops is the Phoenix now? Jeezuz....I'm glad I dropped the X-Men years ago.

Cyclops, White Queen, Colossus, Magick, and Namor became the Pheonix when Tony Stark's Phoenixkiller armor split up the essence of Phoenix before it could go into Hope Summers. That's the whole Avengers Vs. X-Men thing, and it won't be an ongoing idea.

Also, Scott's been cool ever since he started banging Emma Frost, and recently he's basically gone full Magneto, which makes him awesome.


Agreed. Cyclops stopped being a cardboard boy scout once he started putting his one-eyed shooter in Emma's diamond-encrusted cootch. Her awesome b*tchiness is rubbing off on Scott - figuratively and literally.
 
2012-09-11 08:33:19 PM  

FuryOfFirestorm: Bloody William: Sgt Otter: At least Negasonic Teenage Warhead* is still dead.

*Yes, that was her actual X-Men codename.

I'm sorry, is Monster Magnet too awesome for you?

It's funny, Grant Morrison named her after the song, and Monster Magnet constantly references Marvel comics. One of their songs is Ego, The Living Planet.

kid_icarus: Wait...Cyclops is the Phoenix now? Jeezuz....I'm glad I dropped the X-Men years ago.

Cyclops, White Queen, Colossus, Magick, and Namor became the Pheonix when Tony Stark's Phoenixkiller armor split up the essence of Phoenix before it could go into Hope Summers. That's the whole Avengers Vs. X-Men thing, and it won't be an ongoing idea.

Also, Scott's been cool ever since he started banging Emma Frost, and recently he's basically gone full Magneto, which makes him awesome.

Agreed. Cyclops stopped being a cardboard boy scout once he started putting his one-eyed shooter in Emma's diamond-encrusted cootch. Her awesome b*tchiness is rubbing off on Scott - figuratively and literally.


Cyclops used to be (and in all honestly, still is) one of my least favorite superheros. However, after delving into X-Men Legacy and the 2006+ Uncanny X-Men run, I've got to say that I've got a lot more respect for the character. And Bloody William is right, he's going full Magneto now, which is quite refreshing for his character. After the House of M story arc, SOMEBODY had to step up and save what few mutants were left in the world, and Cyclops (with a HUGE assist from Emma) is doing the job nicely. I haven't started reading X-Men vs. Avengers yet, but I can't wait until they put it up on the MDCU service. Sounds like a fun story.
 
2012-09-11 08:34:31 PM  

Bloody William: Sgt Otter: At least Negasonic Teenage Warhead* is still dead.

*Yes, that was her actual X-Men codename.

I'm sorry, is Monster Magnet too awesome for you?

It's funny, Grant Morrison named her after the song, and Monster Magnet constantly references Marvel comics. One of their songs is Ego, The Living Planet.

kid_icarus: Wait...Cyclops is the Phoenix now? Jeezuz....I'm glad I dropped the X-Men years ago.

Cyclops, White Queen, Colossus, Magick, and Namor became the Pheonix when Tony Stark's Phoenixkiller armor split up the essence of Phoenix before it could go into Hope Summers. That's the whole Avengers Vs. X-Men thing, and it won't be an ongoing idea.

Also, Scott's been cool ever since he started banging Emma Frost, and recently he's basically gone full Magneto, which makes him awesome.


I concur except, being a more tasteful man, I would describe the transition as occurring during the Messiah Complex storyline ;)
 
2012-09-11 08:36:52 PM  
Oh, and that's a troll headline right there. Lamest X-men? I seriously doubt that. Marvel did some heinous shiat with their superhero groups during the 80's and 90's. I seriously doubt the current (as far as I know it's current, anyways, haven't read X vs. A yet) roster of Cyclops, Emma, Rogue, Gambit, Iceman, Beast, Arcangel, Colossus and Nightcrawler is "lame". Sounds pretty kick-ass to me.
 
2012-09-11 08:37:46 PM  

Subdue their bellies: Headline: lamest X-men

Article: not about Maggot or Adam X the X-treme.

wtf?!?


Professor X is the lamest X-man, even Gambit can walk a little.
 
2012-09-11 08:40:21 PM  

CodeMonkey4Life: Subdue their bellies: Headline: lamest X-men

Article: not about Maggot or Adam X the X-treme.

wtf?!?

Professor X is the lamest X-man, even Gambit can walk a little.


It's kinda funny, because growing up and not being able to afford comic books, my only education with the X-men was via the early 90's cartoon, and I remember the only times they showed Prof. X walking was during dream sequences and flashbacks. Now that I'm actually READING the comics, the only time I see Prof. X in a wheelchair is during dream sequences and flashbacks! WTF?!
 
2012-09-11 09:19:01 PM  

mooseyfate: CodeMonkey4Life: Subdue their bellies: Headline: lamest X-men

Article: not about Maggot or Adam X the X-treme.

wtf?!?

Professor X is the lamest X-man, even Gambit can walk a little.

It's kinda funny, because growing up and not being able to afford comic books, my only education with the X-men was via the early 90's cartoon, and I remember the only times they showed Prof. X walking was during dream sequences and flashbacks. Now that I'm actually READING the comics, the only time I see Prof. X in a wheelchair is during dream sequences and flashbacks! WTF?!


I mean,if you're surrounded by healers, why not let one of them heal your damn legs yo
 
2012-09-11 09:27:11 PM  

Parthenogenetic: Masso: steve-0: hey cyclops, Nightwing called and wants to know why you stole his costume.

[www.geekrest.com image 680x544]

Then he answered, "Hey you asshole, you know why I went with red? Because you are Nightwing, you're shtick is BLUE. You were BLUE in Teen Titans. You were BLUE when you're in Bludhaven. Why the fark did you go with red. Gawd, that's so stupid. fark that shiat."

[i.imgur.com image 168x400]

[i.imgur.com image 152x400]

[i.imgur.com image 224x378]

Um, what?


Damn, Scott's bulked up over the years. I wonder what his marathon times are.
 
2012-09-11 09:30:49 PM  

Bhasayate: mooseyfate: CodeMonkey4Life: Subdue their bellies: Headline: lamest X-men

Article: not about Maggot or Adam X the X-treme.

wtf?!?

Professor X is the lamest X-man, even Gambit can walk a little.

It's kinda funny, because growing up and not being able to afford comic books, my only education with the X-men was via the early 90's cartoon, and I remember the only times they showed Prof. X walking was during dream sequences and flashbacks. Now that I'm actually READING the comics, the only time I see Prof. X in a wheelchair is during dream sequences and flashbacks! WTF?!

I mean,if you're surrounded by healers, why not let one of them heal your damn legs yo


For the same reason that the smartest man in the universe can't cure his best friend from a bad case of psoriasis: there are fundamental laws of nature at work against it so any progress is always a temporary illusion.

I think Mark Waid might have made that a plot point during his FF run ;)
 
2012-09-11 09:40:42 PM  
ooooh my gawd

you had a discussion over a comic book!
 
2012-09-11 10:35:50 PM  

CodeMonkey4Life: Subdue their bellies: Headline: lamest X-men

Article: not about Maggot or Adam X the X-treme.

wtf?!?

Professor X is the lamest X-man, even Gambit can walk a little.


I feel bad for laughing at that.
 
2012-09-11 10:42:43 PM  

kronicfeld: Mugato: just based on the movies, Cyclops is kinda lame. And Wolverine was right, he was also kind of a dick.

In the comics, Cyclops was the team leader, a total boy scout, and the standard-bear of Professor Xavier's philosophy. He was also incredibly powerful and central to the machinations of bad guys like Apocalypse and Sinister.

In the movies, he's a tertiary character whose only role is playing foil to Wolverine and coming between pussified Wolverine and his love interest...who was actually Cyclops's wife in the comics.


What a "standard-bear" might look like:

rlv.zcache.com 

On a serious note (inasmuch as a comic book thread can be "serious"...), there have been crappy story lines in the funny books since the beginning of their popularity. We'll either laugh about the stupidity of the story, or we'll forget about it in time (usually both). I find it hard to get upset when a writer takes a story in a dumb direction. The characters will get sorted out if there's enough bad feedback from the fans, and we'll pretend like it didn't actually happen. I just shrug and wait for things to work out satisfactorily. It's not a big deal - Happens all the time.

/tl;dr: Don't nerd-rage. It's unbecoming.
 
2012-09-11 10:48:31 PM  
Cyclops is a dick, and I really hope that by the end of Avengers vs. X-Men they finally kill him off, along with about 350 other mutant characters... ESPECIALLY Emma Frost.

The only decent mutants are Magneto, Prof. X, Beast, Cannonball, Wolverine, Kitty Pryde, Squirrel Girl, and Strong Guy.
 
2012-09-11 10:52:34 PM  

Bhasayate: I mean,if you're surrounded by healers, why not let one of them heal your damn legs yo


One of the most common* reasons that Xavier can't walk is that basically all of his brainpower is going into his psychic abilities. When shiat goes down that deprives him of his powers, the first thing he usually does is stand up and start running (usually away from a dinosaur or whatever stupid shiat is associated with the null-power trap). The amusing implication being that his powers do supernatural things to his limbs like keeping them in condition and balancing his motor and circulatory functions, but don't allow them to do natural things like move more than the absolute minimum to lift food to his mouth and take in oxygen.

Basically, he's got one of those powers with a severe downside. Phenomenal cosmic power, itty bitty living space.

*Most common because sometimes the explanation is one thing, sometimes its another because comic book writers are illiterate and apathetic and don't bother keeping anything straight ever.
 
2012-09-11 10:53:56 PM  
"Lamest X-Men"?

This may be a dazzler and cause havok to some people's world views, but these are not the lamest X-men by a longshot.
 
2012-09-11 10:56:54 PM  

Jim_Callahan: Bhasayate: I mean,if you're surrounded by healers, why not let one of them heal your damn legs yo

One of the most common* reasons that Xavier can't walk is that basically all of his brainpower is going into his psychic abilities. When shiat goes down that deprives him of his powers, the first thing he usually does is stand up and start running (usually away from a dinosaur or whatever stupid shiat is associated with the null-power trap). The amusing implication being that his powers do supernatural things to his limbs like keeping them in condition and balancing his motor and circulatory functions, but don't allow them to do natural things like move more than the absolute minimum to lift food to his mouth and take in oxygen.

Basically, he's got one of those powers with a severe downside. Phenomenal cosmic power, itty bitty living space.

*Most common because sometimes the explanation is one thing, sometimes its another because comic book writers are illiterate and apathetic and don't bother keeping anything straight ever.


Interesting. I wasn't aware of this. I read my share of X-Men, too. Maybe I forgot
 
2012-09-11 11:29:00 PM  

steve-0: Masso: steve-0: hey cyclops, Nightwing called and wants to know why you stole his costume.

[www.geekrest.com image 680x544]

Then he answered, "Hey you asshole, you know why I went with red? Because you are Nightwing, you're shtick is BLUE. You were BLUE in Teen Titans. You were BLUE when you're in Bludhaven. Why the fark did you go with red. Gawd, that's so stupid. fark that shiat."

implying cyclops' costume was ever red before as well? dick grayson started wearing red from day 1. and this red nightwing costume has been around a lot longer than cyclops' "redesign".


What? No, I'm saying Cyclops prepared the Red costume this time so it doesn't resemble Bludhaven Nightwing with that pattern.
 
2012-09-11 11:47:07 PM  
What I took away from this thread:

I'm going to start calling Scott "Dicklops" now. Until somebody draws a picture of one, anyway.
 
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