FARK.com: (7320772) Tim Conway cancels last four Branson shows; Bob Newhart to fill dates. Not a repeat from 1974. A veritable cavalcade of comedians you are surprised to find out are still alive. (Tag is for the fact that this is taking place in Branson)

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		Tim Conway cancels last four Branson shows; Bob Newhart to fill dates. Not a repeat from 1974. A veritable cavalcade of comedians you are surprised to find out are still alive. (Tag is for the fact that this is taking place in Branson) (news-leader.com)		126
		More: Obvious, Bob Newhart, Tim Conway

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Sybarite		2012-09-11 10:48:17 AM

"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'." - Bob Newhart

NuttierThanEver		2012-09-11 10:49:33 AM

There are a lot of hacks to mock in Branson subby, Tim Conway and Bob Newhart are not the hacks you are looking for. (except for the Dorf crappy videos that Conway got rich off , that crap is terrible)

RedPhoenix122		2012-09-11 10:50:40 AM

NuttierThanEver: There are a lot of hacks to mock in Branson subby, Tim Conway and Bob Newhart are not the hacks you are looking for. (except for the Dorf crappy videos that Conway got rich off , that crap is terrible)

Bob Newhart's stand-up is pretty damned funny though.

Happy Hours		2012-09-11 11:03:27 AM

I knew both of them were still alive. I may even have to go see Newhart if he's not sold out.

Mr. Coffee Nerves		2012-09-11 11:11:13 AM

That's like ordering a Big Mac and being handed a Ruth's Chris Filet. Bob Newhart is an underrated all-time comedy legend.

NuttierThanEver		2012-09-11 11:51:46 AM

Also obligatory in any Tim Conway thread

The Elephant sketch

The Dentist

Gulper Eel		2012-09-11 11:55:14 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: That's like ordering a ~~Big Mac and being handed a~~ Ruth's Chris Filet with unlimited scotch, and getting a Peter Luger porterhouse with a beej from Kate Winslet for dessert. Bob Newhart is an underrated all-time comedy legend.

Fixed.

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats		2012-09-11 12:15:06 PM

RedPhoenix122: NuttierThanEver: There are a lot of hacks to mock in Branson subby, Tim Conway and Bob Newhart are not the hacks you are looking for. (except for the Dorf crappy videos that Conway got rich off , that crap is terrible)

Bob Newhart's stand-up is pretty damned funny though.

Bob Newhart tweeted about Eastwood's... display... at the RNC two weeks ago, saying that he heard Eastwood was stealing his act and that his legal team was already drawing up papers XD

RedPhoenix122		2012-09-11 12:20:50 PM

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Bob Newhart tweeted about Eastwood's... display... at the RNC two weeks ago, saying that he heard Eastwood was stealing his act and that his legal team was already drawing up papers XD

Apple's legal team must be working with him. To be fair though, Newhart's routine is very precise, smart, and can stand the test of time. None of which can be said about Eastwood's display...or Eastwood himself.

CavalierEternal		2012-09-11 12:30:43 PM

What's a Tim Conway?

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats		2012-09-11 12:35:27 PM

RedPhoenix122: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Bob Newhart tweeted about Eastwood's... display... at the RNC two weeks ago, saying that he heard Eastwood was stealing his act and that his legal team was already drawing up papers XD

Apple's legal team must be working with him. To be fair though, Newhart's routine is very precise, smart, and can stand the test of time. None of which can be said about Eastwood's display...or Eastwood himself.

Bob Newhart is one of my favorite comedians ever, so, no argument here.

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats		2012-09-11 12:36:03 PM

RedPhoenix122		2012-09-11 12:39:38 PM

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: (I also don't think he was serious ;P )

Neither was I.

Red Shirt Blues		2012-09-11 12:43:25 PM

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats		2012-09-11 12:49:00 PM

CavalierEternal: What's a Tim Conway?

One half of the infamous Apple Dumpling Gang

scottydoesntknow		2012-09-11 12:58:14 PM

Branson, Missouri. My dad says it's like Vegas... if it were run by Ned Flanders.

dletter		2012-09-11 01:26:41 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: That's like ordering a Big Mac and being handed a Ruth's Chris Filet. Bob Newhart is an underrated all-time comedy legend.

Was going to come here to say something like this. I am sure Conway is probably pretty good himself, but, in my mind, him without the Carol Burnett casts seems like it would be a 2 hour Dorf-fest... but, I am probably wrong.

But, even Conway at his best, Newhart would be a better show by multitudes.

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat		2012-09-11 02:12:18 PM

CavalierEternal: What's a Tim Conway?

About 155 pounds.

jj325		2012-09-11 02:18:57 PM

I picked up a Best of Bob Newhart CD set before a long road trip last year. Laughed my ass off. Lincoln, Sir Walter Raleigh, Driving Instructor, King Kong----that stuff never gets old

JackieRabbit		2012-09-11 02:20:27 PM

Subby, did you have to blow a mod to get this greenlit?

/loves Bob Newhart and Tim Conway, but does't care that they are ending their careers playing to rednecks in Branson.

error 303		2012-09-11 02:21:43 PM

Oh man, Branson is awesome. Looks like I'm gonna have to round up the wife and kid and hitup Dixie Stampede yet again.

Wookard		2012-09-11 02:21:45 PM

CavalierEternal: What's a Tim Conway?

About 120 pounds...

chachi88		2012-09-11 02:23:14 PM

JackieRabbit: Subby, did you have to blow a mod to get this greenlit?

/loves Bob Newhart and Tim Conway, but does't care that they are ending their careers playing to rednecks in Branson.

Nah, just your mom. She's very influential with the mods.

lenfromak		2012-09-11 02:24:52 PM

Isn't Branson where Jim Bakker hangs out these days?

Counter_Intelligent		2012-09-11 02:25:07 PM

To it, Barnacle Boy!

Boudica's War Tampon		2012-09-11 02:26:52 PM

Gulper Eel: Mr. Coffee Nerves: That's like ordering a Big Mac and being handed a Ruth's Chris Filet with unlimited scotch, and getting a Peter Luger porterhouse with a beej from Kate Winslet for dessert. Bob Newhart is an underrated all-time comedy legend.

Fixed.

I'd claim hyperbole but I wouldn't want to jinx it for anyone who might possibly be getting a beej from Kate Winslet.

Thudfark		2012-09-11 02:27:00 PM

Red Shirt Blues: [www.wearysloth.com image 320x240]

My vichy soisse tastes like cold potato soup.

PsyLord		2012-09-11 02:28:46 PM

Tim Conway is still alive? I thought he OD'ed or something?

www.starscolor.com

tzzhc4		2012-09-11 02:30:31 PM

Dorf is sick?

deathbyimprov.files.wordpress.com

JackieRabbit		2012-09-11 02:32:40 PM

chachi88: JackieRabbit: Subby, did you have to blow a mod to get this greenlit?

/loves Bob Newhart and Tim Conway, but does't care that they are ending their careers playing to rednecks in Branson.

Nah, just your mom. She's very influential with the mods.

If you blew my 80 year old mom, great to her!

tomWright		2012-09-11 02:34:53 PM

NuttierThanEver: Also obligatory in any Tim Conway thread

The Elephant sketch

The Dentist

glad i am on a phone. Those still crack me up after seeing them many times. There are few routines i can say that about. The last thing i need is to be lying on the floor laughing, snotting, crying and trying not to piss myself, but enough about my trip to florida

Skleenar		2012-09-11 02:34:58 PM

Does "two" constitute a "cavalcade"?

Because it seems a little short of what I would consider cavalvade-y.

Hair of the Dog		2012-09-11 02:35:32 PM

Branson: The Has-Been Capital of the Entertainment World.

SevenYearHawk		2012-09-11 02:36:18 PM

Also still alive ...

www.abevigoda.com

99.998er		2012-09-11 02:36:49 PM

Harvey Korman was considered...that is until they figured out he died 4 years ago and his career 25 years before that.

Langdon Alger		2012-09-11 02:38:00 PM

That's going to be one hell of a "Hi Bob" game

fireclown		2012-09-11 02:39:18 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: That's like ordering a Big Mac and being handed a Ruth's Chris Filet. Bob Newhart is an underrated all-time comedy legend.

Not so sure about underrated. He just hasn't been in the big time limelight for a while. He's a funny guy, and made a good living doing it. If I were to find myself near Branson, I could go see him unironically.

SevenYearHawk		2012-09-11 02:39:33 PM

True story:

There's a comedy FM radio station here in Kansas City ...

I'm used to hearing Jim Gaffigan, Chris Rock, Gabriel Iglesias, etc.

The usual "comedic" suspects.

One night, pretty late I turned it on and was surprised to hear an old Jack Benny bit - and even MORE surprised that it was still pretty funny!

/ Some jokes, like good music, just get better with age ...

imontheinternet		2012-09-11 02:42:34 PM

Starring Bob Newhart.

LordOfThePings		2012-09-11 02:43:03 PM

Newhart roasts Rickles (also still alive, who knew?)

Poison		2012-09-11 02:45:16 PM

Bob Newhart-author of the greatest TV series finale scene ever. Pure awesome and still get a kick out of seeing it now and then.

number8		2012-09-11 02:46:56 PM

Whoops. I knew I was in the wrong place.

i.imgur.com

ArkPanda		2012-09-11 02:49:30 PM

I think it would be worth the drive up to Branson to see Bob Newhart. I wonder how quickly they'll sell out?

I suppose I could always console myself by seeing the famous "Three Redneck Tenors"
Link

Rapmaster2000		2012-09-11 02:52:44 PM

number8: Whoops. I knew I was in the wrong place.

[i.imgur.com image 320x240]

Sorry, pally.

ram.1500		2012-09-11 02:53:33 PM

A veritable cavalcade of comedians you are surprised to find out are still alive.

Am I missing something?

probesport		2012-09-11 02:54:38 PM

And do they deserve to be? Is that the question?

tamsnod27		2012-09-11 02:56:09 PM

number8: Whoops. I knew I was in the wrong place.

[i.imgur.com image 320x240]

"Hey mum, how's about some milk?"

"No dice!"

"Dis ain't over!"

My cousin named their youngest Bronson, I had to recite that to them, they looked at me like I was the weird one!

beakerxf		2012-09-11 02:56:16 PM

dletter: Mr. Coffee Nerves: That's like ordering a Big Mac and being handed a Ruth's Chris Filet. Bob Newhart is an underrated all-time comedy legend.

Was going to come here to say something like this. I am sure Conway is probably pretty good himself, but, in my mind, him without the Carol Burnett casts seems like it would be a 2 hour Dorf-fest... but, I am probably wrong.

But, even Conway at his best, Newhart would be a better show by multitudes.

I suspect that Tim Conway would only tell humorus stories or little one man skits. To my knowledge, he was never a stand up comedian.

I read Carol Burnette's autobiography and came away thinking Tim Conway was great guy to have as a friend. He'd spend hours setting up simple, yet hilarious pranks. He's an odd, little man, but defnitely in a good way.

kokomo61		2012-09-11 02:56:18 PM

Newhart is still funny, and along with Cosby, a comedy giant that has stood the test of time. His genius was taking the straight man role out of a comedy duo (ala Martin and Lewis, or Tommy and Dick Smothers), and just doing the straight man lines.....which proved that it's not the 'funny' guy that makes you laugh. It's the everyman, fish out of water guy that people can identify with.

Harry Freakstorm		2012-09-11 02:56:45 PM

Hello? Bob Newhart here. Oh hello, Tim. How are you doing? What? You want me to fill in for you at Branson? What's Branson? Really? Where's Branson? Branson Missouri? Tim, if you needed money, I could have loaned... Oh. You say they have theaters in Branson? Lots of theaters. Japanese violin players and a Titanic? Really? Is this for real or are you back on the glue, Tim? You say Branson big country music venue? When it rains, tourist huddle under Dolly Parton to stay dry? Sounds like a really swell place, Tim.

Oh, sorry Tim. I'm looking at my calendar and I just can't fill those dates. Oh, you didn't tell me which dates? Well, my calendar is pretty full. We're painting the living room and it'll take a while. We're using very small paint brushes. Probably going to take as long as those days you want me to fill.

Gee Tim, I'd like to talk more but this is long distance. You say you called me from your cell phone and that long distance calls cost you nothing? Wow. You've really got it made, Tim. Sounds like you really reached the top what with your 'free' long distance and you 'cell phone'. Me? I got a meter on my phone. Yep. Just like the electric company. A guy from AT&T comes by every month and reads the numbers. And the numbers are really rolling up right now, Tim. Gotta go. Take care. Oh, by the way. I'm getting a new phone number. I'll call you when I get it. No. You'll be the first to know. And the guy who's getting this number sounds a lot like me but he'll hang up a lot. Take care. Uh huh. Bye.

Jim DiGriz		2012-09-11 02:56:59 PM

"Bill Cosby-200 Miles per Hour". 'Nuff said.

KarmicDisaster		2012-09-11 02:57:42 PM

Jeese, you know you are old when Bob Newhart has to fill in for you.

HKWolf		2012-09-11 02:58:11 PM

Will Bonnie Franklin and Adrian Zmed be there?

Tennessee Ernie Ford? I thought you were dead!

Cavalcade of Star you thought were dead!

fireclown		2012-09-11 02:59:11 PM

Poison: Bob Newhart-author of the greatest TV series finale scene ever. Pure awesome and still get a kick out of seeing it now and then.

2.bp.blogspot.com

Maybe the best COMEDY finale scene.

/Bob was right. Girl rocked a sweater.

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats		2012-09-11 02:59:15 PM

Harry Freakstorm: Hello? Bob Newhart here. Oh hello, Tim. How are you doing? What? You want me to fill in for you at Branson? What's Branson? Really? Where's Branson? Branson Missouri? Tim, if you needed money, I could have loaned... Oh. You say they have theaters in Branson? Lots of theaters. Japanese violin players and a Titanic? Really? Is this for real or are you back on the glue, Tim? You say Branson big country music venue? When it rains, tourist huddle under Dolly Parton to stay dry? Sounds like a really swell place, Tim.

Oh, sorry Tim. I'm looking at my calendar and I just can't fill those dates. Oh, you didn't tell me which dates? Well, my calendar is pretty full. We're painting the living room and it'll take a while. We're using very small paint brushes. Probably going to take as long as those days you want me to fill.

Gee Tim, I'd like to talk more but this is long distance. You say you called me from your cell phone and that long distance calls cost you nothing? Wow. You've really got it made, Tim. Sounds like you really reached the top what with your 'free' long distance and you 'cell phone'. Me? I got a meter on my phone. Yep. Just like the electric company. A guy from AT&T comes by every month and reads the numbers. And the numbers are really rolling up right now, Tim. Gotta go. Take care. Oh, by the way. I'm getting a new phone number. I'll call you when I get it. No. You'll be the first to know. And the guy who's getting this number sounds a lot like me but he'll hang up a lot. Take care. Uh huh. Bye.

I love you.

Marisyana		2012-09-11 02:59:50 PM

RedPhoenix122: Bob Newhart's stand-up is pretty damned funny though.

This. And WTF, Bill Cosby's in Branson now? Gah.

coffee fiend		2012-09-11 03:04:00 PM

NuttierThanEver: Also obligatory in any Tim Conway thread

The Elephant sketch

The Dentist

The elephant sketch is laugh out loud funny, but the dentist sketch just might be the funniest thing I've ever seen. Pure brilliance on Conway's part, and Korman's reaction was priceless.

/loved Conway's old man character, too

antidumbass		2012-09-11 03:04:27 PM

My (then) 70-year-old Dad told me, "Son, you never even want to go to Branson, Missouri."

Me: "Why's that?"

Dad: "It full of old folks in RVs who can't drive and they're lost anyway. The nightclubs are too far apart to walk to even if you find a spot to park."

torr5962		2012-09-11 03:05:07 PM

Link

Obligatory for Mr. Newhart

whidbey		2012-09-11 03:07:40 PM

As long as they haven't turned into disgusting pieces of human teabagger trash in their old age like too many of their contemporaries, more power to them.

MFAWG		2012-09-11 03:08:45 PM

SevenYearHawk: True story:

There's a comedy FM radio station here in Kansas City ...

I'm used to hearing Jim Gaffigan, Chris Rock, Gabriel Iglesias, etc.

The usual "comedic" suspects.

One night, pretty late I turned it on and was surprised to hear an old Jack Benny bit - and even MORE surprised that it was still pretty funny!

/ Some jokes, like good music, just get better with age ...

I catch Benny and Burns and Allen on one of those OTA digital channels. Both have stood the test of time very, very well. Especially Gracie.

6655321		2012-09-11 03:10:14 PM

Both Conway and Newhart have had great careers, but sometimes the movie/show they were in was not

Do not watch McHale's Navy joins the Air Force.

Ass Exploder		2012-09-11 03:10:58 PM

MayContainHorseGluten		2012-09-11 03:11:07 PM

CavalierEternal: What's a Tim Conway?

Came for this, left satisfied.

/Oh, about 120 pounds.

Boudica's War Tampon		2012-09-11 03:13:37 PM

coffee fiend: NuttierThanEver: Also obligatory in any Tim Conway thread

The Elephant sketch

The Dentist

The elephant sketch is laugh out loud funny, but the dentist sketch just might be the funniest thing I've ever seen. Pure brilliance on Conway's part, and Korman's reaction was priceless.

/loved Conway's old man character, too

"Dinah, won't you blow....Dinah, won't you blow...Dinah, won't you blow your horn..."

KarmicDisaster		2012-09-11 03:13:40 PM

I know that this is supposed to be a Conway thread, but my favorite Newhart.
Stopit

Hermione_Granger		2012-09-11 03:14:14 PM

I haven't seen Tim Conway in anything since Coach but he was piss-your-pants funny in those episodes. I can't believe he's still doing stand up at his age, but I would definitely catch his show.

Gulper Eel		2012-09-11 03:19:08 PM

Hermione_Granger: I can't believe he's still doing stand up at his age

I think the mighty Rickles is still plying his trade as well.

stupiddream		2012-09-11 03:20:22 PM

The local amusement park for Branson, Silver Dollar City, is pretty cool.

/The rest of Branson sux though.
//I think my wife put it best when she said "It's like Panama City with old folks and hills". T-shirt shop, gas station, cheesy tourist trap, huge theater - rinse and repeat.

Mikey1969		2012-09-11 03:22:07 PM

jj325: I picked up a Best of Bob Newhart CD set before a long road trip last year. Laughed my ass off. Lincoln, Sir Walter Raleigh, Driving Instructor, King Kong----that stuff never gets old

Farking love the King Kong one. Caught it on Sirius a few years ago, that and the Kruschev one. The guy totally rules the one-sided conversation...

Fuggin Bizzy		2012-09-11 03:22:35 PM

Gulper Eel: I think the mighty Rickles is still plying his trade as well.

He's fine, but the Puerto Rican guy is trying to steal your hubcaps.

trotsky		2012-09-11 03:23:32 PM

Newhart and Rickles still make me laugh. Just picked up Rickle's bio to read.

p51d007		2012-09-11 03:26:49 PM

I've lived in the Branson area most of my life. I've seen the boom/bust of that area 2-3 different times.
They have spent MILLIONS improving the roadways with 4 lane expressways, loops around "the strip" (highway 76). Spent millions on 20-30 story resort hotels, spent millions in marketing and for what?
Live music entertainment, who's predominant audience is dying at a rate of 600 per day?
Yeah right....at the next bust, look for casino gambling to get a green light, even with the objections of the people who own Silver Dollar City (or as we call it STEAL your dollar city).
I know that for a fact, most if not all of the resort hotels, along with the Branson showboat, are prewired for slot machines. Knock out a couple false walls, roll them in and turn them on.
They have stopped gambling for 20 years down there, but with the decline in "live music entertainment"
they will have to have something to replace it. Branson would die without tourist. As soon as the world war 2 generation has passed into history, gambling will come to Branson.

Random Anonymous Blackmail		2012-09-11 03:29:48 PM

5 Words that shouldn't be put together.

Phyllis Diller live sex show.

The act is live at least.

lohphat		2012-09-11 03:30:07 PM

NuttierThanEver: Also obligatory in any Tim Conway thread

The Elephant sketch

The Dentist

*phnorkeh*

ChrisDe		2012-09-11 03:31:38 PM

If you've never heard The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart, listen to it tonight. Album of the Year in '61, not just comedy album of the year. Worth it for the Driving Instructor bit alone.

Keigh		2012-09-11 03:34:44 PM

p51d007: I've lived in the Branson area most of my life. I've seen the boom/bust of that area 2-3 different times.
They have spent MILLIONS improving the roadways with 4 lane expressways, loops around "the strip" (highway 76). Spent millions on 20-30 story resort hotels, spent millions in marketing and for what?
Live music entertainment, who's predominant audience is dying at a rate of 600 per day?
Yeah right....at the next bust, look for casino gambling to get a green light, even with the objections of the people who own Silver Dollar City (or as we call it STEAL your dollar city).
I know that for a fact, most if not all of the resort hotels, along with the Branson showboat, are prewired for slot machines. Knock out a couple false walls, roll them in and turn them on.
They have stopped gambling for 20 years down there, but with the decline in "live music entertainment"
they will have to have something to replace it. Branson would die without tourist. As soon as the world war 2 generation has passed into history, gambling will come to Branson.

I voted Yes on 1 for you. Maybe next time.

Vuseen		2012-09-11 03:36:26 PM

ChrisDe: If you've never heard The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart, listen to it tonight. Album of the Year in '61, not just comedy album of the year. Worth it for the Driving Instructor bit alone.

My parents had the follow-up album. The "Mrs Grace L Ferguson Airline and Storm Door Co" bit was my favorite

dryknife		2012-09-11 03:37:45 PM

Is he going to phone in his act?

Crewmannumber6		2012-09-11 03:40:48 PM

Ya know Emily, you really should think about wearing more sweaters

cleveoh		2012-09-11 03:41:24 PM

Gulper Eel: Hermione_Granger: I can't believe he's still doing stand up at his age

I think the mighty Rickles is still plying his trade as well

As are Shelley Berman & Shecky Green.

Boudica's War Tampon		2012-09-11 03:41:40 PM

dryknife: Is he going to phone in his act?

As Nick the Nose said in "Suicide Kings"...

"Oh, you're beautiful."

ChrisDe		2012-09-11 03:42:35 PM

dryknife: Is he going to phone in his act?

If you're a Bob Newhart fan, that's pretty funny.

Mikey1969		2012-09-11 03:42:42 PM

torr5962: Link

Obligatory for Mr. Newhart

Thank you... I'd never seen that one. Absolutely awesome. "I'd like a straight man who didn't laugh...", that was great.

Fark Rye For Many Whores		2012-09-11 03:48:31 PM

Red Shirt Blues: [www.wearysloth.com image 320x240]

That's not Rutger Hauer right? That's Newhart or Conway?

Valiente		2012-09-11 03:49:23 PM

Valiente		2012-09-11 03:50:41 PM

Gulper Eel: Hermione_Granger: I can't believe he's still doing stand up at his age

I think the mighty Rickles is still plying his trade as well.

They might have all been in Korea together.

Damn, they are collectivelly still younger than the Stones.

carrion_luggage		2012-09-11 03:57:47 PM

FTFA:

These will be Newhart's first appearances in Branson, the release said. He was the star of the 1970s sitcom "The Bob Newhart Show," and the 80s sitcom "Newhart." In the 90s he starred in a short-lived program called "Bob." The 2000's saw the even more short-lived "Ehhhh..." Newhart's most recent sitcom, "Hrmph", was cancelled during taping.

Red Shirt Blues		2012-09-11 04:00:28 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: Red Shirt Blues: [www.wearysloth.com image 320x240]

That's not Rutger Hauer right? That's Newhart or Conway?

Newhart. They someone decided his phone gag bit would fit into a gritty Steve McQueen war movie. Hell is for Heroes.

ras django		2012-09-11 04:01:03 PM

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Harry Freakstorm: Hello? Bob Newhart here. Oh hello, Tim. How are you doing? What? You want me to fill in for you at Branson? What's Branson? Really? Where's Branson? Branson Missouri? Tim, if you needed money, I could have loaned... Oh. You say they have theaters in Branson? Lots of theaters. Japanese violin players and a Titanic? Really? Is this for real or are you back on the glue, Tim? You say Branson big country music venue? When it rains, tourist huddle under Dolly Parton to stay dry? Sounds like a really swell place, Tim.

Oh, sorry Tim. I'm looking at my calendar and I just can't fill those dates. Oh, you didn't tell me which dates? Well, my calendar is pretty full. We're painting the living room and it'll take a while. We're using very small paint brushes. Probably going to take as long as those days you want me to fill.

Gee Tim, I'd like to talk more but this is long distance. You say you called me from your cell phone and that long distance calls cost you nothing? Wow. You've really got it made, Tim. Sounds like you really reached the top what with your 'free' long distance and you 'cell phone'. Me? I got a meter on my phone. Yep. Just like the electric company. A guy from AT&T comes by every month and reads the numbers. And the numbers are really rolling up right now, Tim. Gotta go. Take care. Oh, by the way. I'm getting a new phone number. I'll call you when I get it. No. You'll be the first to know. And the guy who's getting this number sounds a lot like me but he'll hang up a lot. Take care. Uh huh. Bye.

I love you.

halfof33		2012-09-11 04:06:28 PM

whidbey: As long as they haven't turned into disgusting pieces of human teabagger trash in their old age like too many of their contemporaries, more power to them.

LULZ!

Here you are having a perfectly nice thread, and some liberal jackass slimes his way over from the Politics Tab.

Oh Whidbey, what would we ever do without you?

Grandemadaca		2012-09-11 04:07:00 PM

Newhart at his prime was increadibly funny.

I saw him live a couple of years ago and, maybe it was an off night, but he sucked. Just. wasn't. funny.

I still love him.

Gulper Eel		2012-09-11 04:08:31 PM

cleveoh: Gulper Eel: Hermione_Granger: I can't believe he's still doing stand up at his age

I think the mighty Rickles is still plying his trade as well

As are Shelley Berman & Shecky Green.

It's like "Broadway Danny Rose" meets "The Expendables".

wambu		2012-09-11 04:09:11 PM

There's some kind of force-field in Branson that re-animates dead flesh. I've seen it walikng aroud there.

Miss Stein		2012-09-11 04:20:44 PM

NuttierThanEver: Also obligatory in any Tim Conway thread

The Elephant sketch

The Dentist

The Oldest Fireman

Lee451		2012-09-11 04:23:16 PM

Didn't Bob Newhart release the first "comedy album" in 1964 or so?

LordOfThePings		2012-09-11 04:31:16 PM

Lee451: Didn't Bob Newhart release the first "comedy album" in 1964 or so?

Button-Down Mind was released in 1960.

Seems like Mort Sahl and Stan Freberg have him beat by a year or two.

starlost		2012-09-11 04:35:10 PM

Red Shirt Blues
http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsN/12792-8328.jpg

a brilliant piece of work. like the actors, director, producers, studio heads and who knows all said this might be something so let's do it and if it doesn't pan out we all fail. newhart has the timing and reading of dangerfield.

MAYORBOB		2012-09-11 04:36:45 PM

I hate to nitpick but, Tim Conway and Bob Newhart do not a cavalcade make.

tomWright		2012-09-11 04:37:18 PM

lohphat: NuttierThanEver: Also obligatory in any Tim Conway thread

The Elephant sketch

The Dentist

*phnorkeh*

i think i just snotted a little

/even that little reminder makes me laugh

skantea		2012-09-11 04:37:22 PM

I follow Ruth Buzzi on twitter. No kidding, she's hilarious.

Miss Stein		2012-09-11 04:41:25 PM

LordOfThePings: Lee451: Didn't Bob Newhart release the first "comedy album" in 1964 or so?

Button-Down Mind was released in 1960.

Seems like Mort Sahl and Stan Freberg have him beat by a year or two.

Yep. Mort Sahl was the first with The Future Lies Ahead in '58. Shelly Berman, Tom Lehrer and Stan Freberg all had albums in '59. Tom Lehrer's first release in '53 was on 10" LP.

/novelty vinyl collector

albuquerquehalsey		2012-09-11 04:46:35 PM

CavalierEternal: What's a Tim Conway?

No no no, a Tim Comway is when the guy wears a kaiser helmet with a cheese hot dog impaled on the spike and stands on his head and the girl...

images.wikia.com

Optimus Primate		2012-09-11 04:46:55 PM

whidbey		2012-09-11 04:50:02 PM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: 5 Words that shouldn't be put together.

Phyllis Diller live sex show.

The act is live at least.

More like necrotastic, actually.

The Why Not Guy		2012-09-11 04:54:33 PM

Tim Conway to Bob Newhart - that's like trading in your 1988 Ford Escort for a new Audi.

SonOfSpam		2012-09-11 05:03:49 PM

halfof33: whidbey: As long as they haven't turned into disgusting pieces of human teabagger trash in their old age like too many of their contemporaries, more power to them.

LULZ!

Here you are having a perfectly nice thread, and some liberal jackass slimes his way over from the Politics Tab.

Oh Whidbey, what would we ever do without you?

Could we try it and find out?

ZMugg		2012-09-11 05:09:52 PM

probesport: And do they deserve to be? Is that the question?

And if so, if so, who answers?

WHO ANSWERS?

TheNewWinch		2012-09-11 05:26:10 PM

dletter: Mr. Coffee Nerves: That's like ordering a Big Mac and being handed a Ruth's Chris Filet. Bob Newhart is an underrated all-time comedy legend.

Was going to come here to say something like this. I am sure Conway is probably pretty good himself, but, in my mind, him without the Carol Burnett casts seems like it would be a 2 hour Dorf-fest... but, I am probably wrong.

But, even Conway at his best, Newhart would be a better show by multitudes.

I would love to see Newhart live. I used to listen to his stand up on an AM comedy station when i lived in california. they also used to play the old radio shows, Jack Benny, George & Gracie, etc. Way old school, but hilarious.

I am continuing my parent's tradition of making sure my kids dont only know about current 'reality'. My 9yr old can quote the parrott sketch from MP, thinks Get Smart is hilarious, knows about the monsters on the 9th street bridge and LOVES the Tim Conway dentist bit.

It seems like they just dont do comedy that good anymore

//Gotta go order the Bob Newhart CD set now
//it's going to be a great weekend

LordOfThePings		2012-09-11 05:39:40 PM

Miss Stein: Yep. Mort Sahl was the first with The Future Lies Ahead in '58. Shelly Berman, Tom Lehrer and Stan Freberg all had albums in '59. Tom Lehrer's first release in '53 was on 10" LP.

/novelty vinyl collector

Ah, of course, should not forget Lehrer
Who caused much anxiety
In the Audubon Society

Sugarpuss O'Shea		2012-09-11 05:56:32 PM

Miss Stein		2012-09-11 05:59:58 PM

LordOfThePings: Miss Stein: Yep. Mort Sahl was the first with The Future Lies Ahead in '58. Shelly Berman, Tom Lehrer and Stan Freberg all had albums in '59. Tom Lehrer's first release in '53 was on 10" LP.

/novelty vinyl collector

Ah, of course, should not forget Lehrer
Who caused much anxiety
In the Audubon Society

Bless you for putting that song in my head for the rest of the day. :D

viciousbackyardkiller		2012-09-11 06:22:06 PM

The Mansion Theatre in Branson announced actor and alleged comedian Tim Conway has canceled his last four dates of the season at the venue.

/ftfm

torr5962		2012-09-11 06:22:40 PM

Mikey1969:
Thank you... I'd never seen that one. Absolutely awesome. "I'd like a straight man who didn't laugh...", that was great.

At the end: "You sure you worked with Jerry?"

FreakyBunny		2012-09-11 06:56:23 PM

"The Witch Doctor" is one of my favourite Newhart bits, and the "U.S.S. Codfish" is also a classic. Tim Conway never really made me laugh, well that's not true, he made me laugh by making Harvey Korman crack up.

And then there's this: Link

Tom_Slick		2012-09-11 07:46:57 PM

My favorite Newhart bit Driving Instructor

FreakyBunny: "The Witch Doctor" is one of my favourite Newhart bits, and the "U.S.S. Codfish" is also a classic. Tim Conway never really made me laugh, well that's not true, he made me laugh by making Harvey Korman crack up.

And then there's this: Link

That was one of the funniest things I remember watching with my parents, they were hyperventilating.

MFAWG		2012-09-11 08:11:54 PM

Red Shirt Blues: Fark Rye For Many Whores: Red Shirt Blues: [www.wearysloth.com image 320x240]

That's not Rutger Hauer right? That's Newhart or Conway?

Newhart. They someone decided his phone gag bit would fit into a gritty Steve McQueen war movie. Hell is for Heroes.

For some reason, he does the phone bit in it.

chuggernaught		2012-09-11 08:24:39 PM

Just came in here to say I lost a good friend to "Hi Bob".

Also, I still love Newhart. Very witty, wonderful creativity, and tremendous comedic timing.

W.C.fields forever		2012-09-11 08:43:19 PM

I liked that skit where Newhart played Abe Lincoln's advisor.
He tells Lincoln to relax and take in a show..

sinistermonk		2012-09-11 08:55:03 PM

I have to say, I had pretty good taste as a kid (loved Dream On, Herman's Head, that weird Chris Elliot/Bill Murray's brother show, 227, etc) and the Dorf videos had their moments. Not many, but they had their moments. Needless to say, Tim Conway's a legend and was always my favorite on the Carol Burnett show and I guess I hope he lives a long life even though that style of humor is pretty irrelevant these days.

dletter		2012-09-11 08:59:42 PM

sinistermonk: I have to say, I had pretty good taste as a kid (loved Dream On, Herman's Head, that weird Chris Elliot/Bill Murray's brother show, 227, etc) and the Dorf videos had their moments. Not many, but they had their moments. Needless to say, Tim Conway's a legend and was always my favorite on the Carol Burnett show and I guess I hope he lives a long life even though that style of humor is pretty irrelevant these days.

Ok.. ok... ok..... um, 227???

i upped my meds-up yours		2012-09-11 11:39:05 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: That's like ordering a Big Mac and being handed a Ruth's Chris Filet. Bob Newhart is an underrated all-time comedy legend.

Shiat yes. Newhart playing Branson is like booking Sonny Rollins into a Chuck E. Cheese.

Proof positive that if you live long enough, you will inevitably end up playing for audiences way lamer than you are.

JoeJitsu		2012-09-11 11:51:04 PM

Newhart fans should do themselves a big favor and pick up his autobiography, "I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This!" Link. The book is fine but you have to hear it in Newhart's own voice. You get the back story of how he got started, how his career got kick-started by Don Adams stealing one of his bits, how the end of "Newhart" was developed and a lot of other cool stories mixed in with classic comedy bits. Well worth the money.

Keigh		2012-09-12 10:06:07 AM

I tried to laugh at the Tim Conway bits yesterday. getting high helped a little, but I really do like the Bob Newhart humor better. There really is a lot of distance between the caliber of these two comedians.

JeffKochosky		2012-09-12 02:04:19 PM

CSB time...

My wife and I went to Vegas for our 5th anniversary, in 2006. We planned on seeing a couple shows, and found out that Tim Conway and Harvey Korman (RIP) were playing at the Stardust (RIP). We managed to get tickets, and I can say without a doubt that it was the best farking stage show I've ever been to...

/It was amusing as hell that we were the youngest people in the audience, too...

coffee fiend		2012-09-12 02:14:56 PM

Valiente: coffee fiend: NuttierThanEver: Also obligatory in any Tim Conway thread

The Elephant sketch

The Dentist

The elephant sketch is laugh out loud funny, but the dentist sketch just might be the funniest thing I've ever seen. Pure brilliance on Conway's part, and Korman's reaction was priceless.

/loved Conway's old man character, too

No love for the Hitler puppet sketch?

Oh, of course; it just slipped my aging mind. Another piece of brilliance from Conway.

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