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(McSweeney's)   John Hodgman's infamous eulogy for the victims of September 11th, 2001, a serious piece that encapsulated the scope of the tragedy   (mcsweeneys.net) divider line 87
    More: Hero, John Hodgman, MFA, orbits, pig farmer, oral tradition  
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19993 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Sep 2012 at 1:03 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-11 10:07:48 AM  
Sadly, the eulogy for habeas corpus, our bill of rights, our economy, and our dignity is missing.
 
2012-09-11 10:44:18 AM  

vudukungfu: Sadly, the eulogy for habeas corpus, our bill of rights, our economy, and our dignity is missing.


But we still have bacon, right?
 
2012-09-11 11:23:17 AM  
A combination of living in a cave, and ignoring most trite and/or wallowy 9/11 stuff, led me to missing that, until now. And it's good. Thanks, subby!

For the TLDR crowd, two particularly great lines:

"what makes [stories] most comforting is that while life goes on and pain goes on, stories do us the favor of ending"

"how perversely powerful stories can be when told into the ears of desperate and evil men"


Marcus Aurelius: But we still have bacon, right?


Heh. FTFA:

"If pig farmers had as much currency with NPR as literary novelists, we would be hearing just as much about the healing power of bacon. And knowing that power well, I can say that it is certainly comparable to the reading of a sensitive short story as far as comfort goes; and yet both fall far below the direct aid that is being passed from person to person, below Chambers Street, in our homes, on the phone with strangers, with a (sic) actual touch, in the actual, non-symbolic, un-annotated world..."

Bacon. Add it to boobs, good beer and a good dog, and you have the complete list of The Only Real Reasons To Wake Up In The Morning.

Sorta on-topic, and I really don't want to see a page full of tribute / eulogy headlines, or I'd submit Craig Ferguson's monologue (pop and sorry for the quality... can't seem to find an official one, oddly). As is his occasional practice when dealing with a difficult topic, it is heartfelt and intelligent.
 
2012-09-11 11:47:02 AM  
Infamous?
 
2012-09-11 12:24:38 PM  

Vodka Zombie: Infamous?


Yeah, they went there.
Shh. they're on a roll.
 
2012-09-11 01:06:41 PM  
911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911
911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911
911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911

/Just farking stop already
//911
 
2012-09-11 01:07:29 PM  
Why was that infamous? It might be the best essay I've read on the tragedy.
 
2012-09-11 01:08:02 PM  
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Time to move on.
 
2012-09-11 01:09:02 PM  

vudukungfu: Sadly, the eulogy for habeas corpus, our bill of rights, our economy, and our dignity is missing.


And it even gets the hero tag.
 
2012-09-11 01:09:34 PM  
Infamous? It means 'more famous' right?
 
2012-09-11 01:09:50 PM  

Mock26: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Time to move on.


Then stop clicking on the links. Problem solved.
 
2012-09-11 01:11:00 PM  
I can't read this at work because it always makes me sad...

I don't understand the use of "infamous" in the tag, either. It was just as close to perfect as it gets IMHO.

No hobos mentioned, though.
 
2012-09-11 01:11:07 PM  
tl;dr
 
2012-09-11 01:12:00 PM  
Sigh.
Keep tossin' 'em up.
i.imgur.com
 
2012-09-11 01:12:06 PM  
One of the most penultimate description of events that day. Thanks subby.
 
2012-09-11 01:12:24 PM  
Some religious freaks took over unsuspecting citizens on an airplane and sucker punched a bunch of people just going about their day, good people took time out of their own schedule to do what they could to help.

The part that pisses me off the most is that ignorance is the only reason any of this happened in the first place.
 
2012-09-11 01:14:18 PM  

rotsky: One of the most penultimate description of events that day. Thanks subby.


One of the most second-to-last descriptions of the day?
 
2012-09-11 01:14:27 PM  

LowbrowDeluxe: Infamous? It means 'more famous' right?


simg.sportsbybrooks.com

"What a country!"
 
2012-09-11 01:15:17 PM  
this wasn't really much of a eulogy--y'know "good words" about the departed. it was more like a very long-winded, ironic way of saying "I'm speechless." not saying that it was insincere or poorly written, but it just didn't really have shiat to do with anything but the role of storytelling.
 
2012-09-11 01:17:09 PM  
msnbcmedia1.msn.com

Thank you, Dave.

assets.nydailynews.com

Thank you, Conan.

www.newweddingplanet.com

Thank you especially, Rosie, since you went out live in daytime and were accused by angry white bigoted "men of God" of causing the attacks. Because you were in love with a woman.


Putting your shows from NYC back on the air just a few days after the attacks help more than you will ever know.
 
2012-09-11 01:18:11 PM  
I've heard it all now. 9/11 being compared to next to bacon. Yes, they are both very bold, an odd comparison, but very true.
 
2012-09-11 01:20:05 PM  

LeroyBourne


I've heard it all now. 9/11 being compared to next to bacon.


It fits well with pork-barrel politics.
 
2012-09-11 01:21:23 PM  

Boudica's War Tampon: Thank you especially, Rosie, since you went out live in daytime and were accused by angry white bigoted "men of God" of causing the attacks. Because you were in love with a woman.


And she had the courage to tell us all the troof about how the white house used remote controlled planes to attack the towers. Let's not forget that.
 
2012-09-11 01:21:25 PM  

Boudica's War Tampon: Thank you, Dave.

Thank you, Conan.


Thank you especially, Rosie, since you went out live in daytime and were accused by angry white bigoted "men of God" of causing the attacks. Because you were in love with a woman.

Putting your shows from NYC back on the air just a few days after the attacks help more than you will ever know.


Unfortunately, Rosie undid all that good (and then some) the second she joined the Truther nutjobs. But you can add Jon Stewart to that list of people that carried on when people needed some levity, too.
 
2012-09-11 01:21:32 PM  

Vodka Zombie: Infamous?


It's not just famous, it's INfamous

userserve-ak.last.fm
 
2012-09-11 01:22:56 PM  
Boudica's War Tampon SmartestFunniest 2012-09-11 01:17:09 PM

Thank you especially, Rosie, since you went out live in daytime and were accused by angry white bigoted "men of God" of causing the attacks. Because you were in love with a woman.


Putting your shows from NYC back on the air just a few days after the attacks help more than you will ever know.




I don't think jokes are appropriate here
 
2012-09-11 01:25:06 PM  
 
2012-09-11 01:27:12 PM  

Highroller48: Boudica's War Tampon: Thank you, Dave.

Thank you, Conan.


Thank you especially, Rosie, since you went out live in daytime and were accused by angry white bigoted "men of God" of causing the attacks. Because you were in love with a woman.

Putting your shows from NYC back on the air just a few days after the attacks help more than you will ever know.

Unfortunately, Rosie undid all that good (and then some) the second she joined the Truther nutjobs. But you can add Jon Stewart to that list of people that carried on when people needed some levity, too.


Came for the Jon Stewart love, will leave the "South Park" 9/11 episode.

Cartman as Bugs Bunny was the perfect tone.
 
2012-09-11 01:31:23 PM  

ccsears: this wasn't really much of a eulogy--y'know "good words" about the departed. it was more like a very long-winded, ironic way of saying "I'm speechless." not saying that it was insincere or poorly written, but it just didn't really have shiat to do with anything but the role of storytelling.


Thank you for pointing this out. I did read it twice and could find little relevance to the events of 9/11/2001, other than it was upsetting and that stories can help us understand troubling events. The emperor's new clothes, and What Not.
 
2012-09-11 01:31:59 PM  
Too long and too many big words.
 
2012-09-11 01:33:38 PM  
We should take a moment each 9/11 to remind ourselves what a gullible moron Alex Jones truly is.
 
2012-09-11 01:33:51 PM  
nudave SmartestFunniest 2012-09-11 01:25:06 PM


Jon Stewart.

Odd that two of the most poingnant commentaries on 9/11 are from people associated with the Daily Show...




Very odd.
Perhaps you should broaden your horizons
 
2012-09-11 01:34:22 PM  

doubled99: I don't think jokes are appropriate here


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-09-11 01:34:42 PM  
Happy 9/11 everyone! Don't stay out too late and get smashed on this future ironic holiday: Memorial day 2! Sort of like Memorial Day 1, but not nearly as good and none of the original people in it.
 
2012-09-11 01:37:11 PM  
Who's John Hodgman and why should I care?
 
2012-09-11 01:38:30 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

I know this guy isn't celebrating it this time round
 
2012-09-11 01:38:57 PM  

RickN99: Mock26: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Time to move on.

Then stop clicking on the links. Problem solved.


I did not click on any links, and the problem still persists.
 
2012-09-11 01:43:19 PM  

doubled99: Boudica's War Tampon SmartestFunniest 2012-09-11 01:17:09 PM

Thank you especially, Rosie, since you went out live in daytime and were accused by angry white bigoted "men of God" of causing the attacks. Because you were in love with a woman.


Putting your shows from NYC back on the air just a few days after the attacks help more than you will ever know.



I don't think jokes are appropriate here


Knock knock

who's there?

Nineeleven

Nineeleven who?

YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER FORGET!!!!!
 
2012-09-11 01:48:29 PM  
i.minus.com
 
2012-09-11 01:50:29 PM  

Mock26: RickN99: Mock26: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Time to move on.

Then stop clicking on the links. Problem solved.

I did not click on any links, and the problem still persists.


How did you find your way into the thread? Random typing?
 
2012-09-11 01:54:50 PM  
No thanks.

I'm full.
 
2012-09-11 01:54:50 PM  
A little introspection can do us all some good, but the author never stopped talking about his self. This was hardly a eulogy. It was more like a lamentation at his own impotence.
 
2012-09-11 01:57:57 PM  
I honestly don't get it. I'd consider myself educated and reasonably well-read, but I'm having a hard time interpreting this essay as anything more than a string of randomly generated sentences. After reading it three times, I still couldn't summarize it. Is he actually saying anything of substance?

Maybe it would work better as a speech?

/never was good at "feeling" what I'm reading
 
2012-09-11 01:58:48 PM  
I quit smoking after 9/11. I also sat at my desk six miles from the Pentagon and calculated the cubic volume and weight of human blood that was dispersed into the wreckage of those towers. For those of us who were alive to experience it, the events of 9/11 will live on and our government's choice to tear out the guts of our national values just keeps it from ever ending. Senseless taking off of shoes gave way to genital groping in airports and secret prisons and god only knows the rest and the rest of us don't want to know. It wears on the soul, it does.
 
2012-09-11 02:02:01 PM  

rotsky: One of the most penultimateMr. Peanut description of events that day. Thanks subby.


Sorry, pet peeve.
 
2012-09-11 02:07:29 PM  

screwzloos: I honestly don't get it. I'd consider myself educated and reasonably well-read, but I'm having a hard time interpreting this essay as anything more than a string of randomly generated sentences. After reading it three times, I still couldn't summarize it. Is he actually saying anything of substance?

Maybe it would work better as a speech?

/never was good at "feeling" what I'm reading


It's speaking to how we need to share our experiences from 9/11 to help understand and cope in the hardest of times. How since ancient times stories and the act of storytelling have brought us comfort letting us feel like we are not alone in our struggles. He's encouraging us to talk it out in the aftermath of a tragedy instead of letting it fester inside and hold us down.

An excellent read as a measure of how people were feeling in the immediate weeks after 9/11. I forgot Hodgman used to be a creative writing professor.
 
2012-09-11 02:08:34 PM  

abhorrent1: 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911
911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911
911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911, 911

/Just farking stop already
//911


911! 911! Santa Claus on my roof, eatin' mah Church's Chicken!
 
2012-09-11 02:08:46 PM  
I like Hodgman, and I liked this piece all right. And this isn't me complaining. But man, writers in the year 2001 after this tragedy all sound exactly the same. Everyone was trying so hard to sound profound and meaningful. Hodgman even managed to, don't get me wrong, but you can tell he's trying so hard. The two things I wrote about the event were like that too (only worse). It was just an entire year of people trying to prove with writing how awesome America/we were after an event like this.

It just sucks we didn't live up to the seam-showing prose that came out that year. :-(
 
2012-09-11 02:09:02 PM  

Whiskey Dickens: rotsky: One of the most penultimate description of events that day. Thanks subby.

One of the most second-to-last descriptions of the day?


Some of us lost our minds on 9/11. Some never had one. Some gave some. Some gave all. For the second to last time. And if you don't like it, we'll put a boot in your ass because we're crazy and should be jailed for assault.
 
2012-09-11 02:09:03 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: I quit smoking after 9/11. I also sat at my desk six miles from the Pentagon and calculated the cubic volume and weight of human blood that was dispersed into the wreckage of those towers. For those of us who were alive to experience it, the events of 9/11 will live on and our government's choice to tear out the guts of our national values just keeps it from ever ending. Senseless taking off of shoes gave way to genital groping in airports and secret prisons and god only knows the rest and the rest of us don't want to know. It wears on the soul, it does.


Riot, parties, etc.

/oblig.
 
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