FARK.com: (7319642) JC Penney thinks that by offering free kids' haircuts every Sunday in November they will see an increase in sales

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		JC Penney thinks that by offering free kids' haircuts every Sunday in November they will see an increase in sales (money.cnn.com)		99
		More: Unlikely, J.C. Penney, JCP, point-of-sales, Checking Out

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2500 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Sep 2012 at 9:36 PM | Favorite | share:

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Lunaville		2012-09-10 07:19:54 PM

Dear JCPenney,

Here's the secret: 1) Made in America 2) Cotton, hemp, silk, wool, flax, etc 3) Children's' and teen styles that meet the local school code, that is, no mini-skirts, no skinny jeans.

Sincerely,
a Mom who seriously does not want to take up sewing

NickelP		2012-09-10 07:45:47 PM

Whats a kids haircut cost like 12 bucks? Yeah i think this has potential.

Nadie_AZ		2012-09-10 07:47:01 PM

Dear JCPenny,

Open a hemp dispensary at every store.

vudukungfu		2012-09-10 07:56:36 PM

Crash Auto glass is offering a free windshield replacement.
Just bring in a copy of the police report on your domestic altercation and get a free windshield.

FirstNationalBastard		2012-09-10 09:33:01 PM

There's a haircut at Penney's?

Indubitably		2012-09-10 09:38:22 PM

"Hey, Johnny, cut this."

Indubitably		2012-09-10 09:39:18 PM

Indubitably: "Hey, Johnny, cut this."

"*cut-cut* *suscribe*"

JesseL		2012-09-10 09:39:50 PM

There's still no better place to get women's jeans that come up to the armpits.

detritus		2012-09-10 09:40:43 PM

3) Children's' and teen styles that meet the local school code, that is, no mini-skirts, no skinny jeans.

4) No soccer moms

AcneVulgaris		2012-09-10 09:41:37 PM

...not to mention an increase in lice.

loonatic112358		2012-09-10 09:42:40 PM

so how many sized bowls will they need to keep around for these haircuts?

farkingismybusiness		2012-09-10 09:44:16 PM

FirstNationalBastard: There's a haircut at Penney's?

gndn.files.wordpress.com

Slu		2012-09-10 09:44:34 PM

I get all my business casual work clothes at Penny's or Macy's. Must be something about the possessive.

jtown		2012-09-10 09:44:52 PM

I have the maturity of a child. Does that count?

PapaChester		2012-09-10 09:45:22 PM

Nadie_AZ: Dear JCPenny,

Open a hemp dispensary at every store.

Urinal Cake Mix		2012-09-10 09:46:46 PM

Lunaville: Dear JCPenney,

Here's the secret: 1) Made in America 2) Cotton, hemp, silk, wool, flax, etc 3) Children's' and teen styles that meet the local school code, that is, no mini-skirts, no skinny jeans.

Sincerely,
a Mom who seriously does not want to take up sewing

No skinny jeans? How the fark is that against dress code? Were people asleep during the 80s or something?

Smeggy Smurf		2012-09-10 09:47:19 PM

Today's kids don't get haircuts. The shaggy loser look is in.

Hey kid, get a farking haircut. This ain't the 60's. Goddamned kids. And stay off my lawn.

/36 on Saturday
//well versed in grumpy old man already

Rye_		2012-09-10 09:48:31 PM

There's no pleasing some people.

06Wahoo		2012-09-10 09:48:45 PM

How about trying customer service? I hear customers appreciate that.

Smeggy Smurf		2012-09-10 09:50:47 PM

06Wahoo: How about trying customer service? I hear customers appreciate that.

First they need customers

Fano		2012-09-10 09:51:04 PM

06Wahoo: How about trying customer service? I hear customers appreciate that.

Judging from the Consumerist, that's tilting at windmills.

LeroyBourne		2012-09-10 09:51:23 PM

If your parents get your hair cut and clothes at JC Penny you might want to consider becoming emancipated.

AverageAmericanGuy		2012-09-10 09:51:39 PM

I took a family portrait at JC Penney a few years back. The photos were fine.

But their company name is Kiddie Kandids. I hate getting spam from those farkers.

titwrench		2012-09-10 09:53:16 PM

They are going to attract a lot of minorities that are going to expect spa treatment for free. Good luck JCP.

Dahnkster		2012-09-10 09:54:05 PM

I am definitely 'ok' with this. Families on a budget. Haircut incentives on a traditionally slow mall shopping day. They've gone back to sales and clearance, my wife bought some unbelievable clearance summer dresses with a group of girlfriends down visiting from New York a couple weeks ago (a few were lined for $10-$25). She got nothing but compliments every time she wore one. They lost 147 million dollars second quarter and stocks fell 18%. I read the comments FTFA and if 'pissing and moaning' were an Olympic Sport, we'd be the Jessie 'Motherfarkin' Owens to the rest of the world.

UsikFark		2012-09-10 09:55:23 PM

06Wahoo: How about trying customer service? I hear customers appreciate that.

No, I don't need help finding anything. Just make sure someone is at the register, that's where I'll go if I need help... or, you know, if I want to buy something. Yes, I need help buying something in your damn store, unless you just want me to scatter some change on the counter and leave. Seems like registers pretty often go un-staffed in a variety of department stores... maybe the employees are just crowding around the security cameras?

ChrisDe		2012-09-10 09:55:36 PM

Part of their problem is that they've been in business for a hundred years and many still refer to them as JC Penny or Penny's. It's Penney's. Get some brand identity!

Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion		2012-09-10 09:57:07 PM

Slu: I get all my business casual work clothes at Penny's or Macy's. Must be something about the possessive.

I'm the same way with Meijer's and K-Mart's.

skazzytl		2012-09-10 09:57:20 PM

I've gotten some stuff from JC Penny recently - was pleasantly surprised by the low prices for stuff that's relatively good quality.

Indubitably		2012-09-10 09:58:41 PM

Dahnkster: I am definitely 'ok' with this. Families on a budget. Haircut incentives on a traditionally slow mall shopping day. They've gone back to sales and clearance, my wife bought some unbelievable clearance summer dresses with a group of girlfriends down visiting from New York a couple weeks ago (a few were lined for $10-$25). She got nothing but compliments every time she wore one. They lost 147 million dollars second quarter and stocks fell 18%. I read the comments FTFA and if 'pissing and moaning' were an Olympic Sport, we'd be the Jessie 'Motherfarkin' Owens to the rest of the world.

Way to melanin, man.

Moon from orbit.

stuffy		2012-09-10 09:58:47 PM

Could do worse.

Thisbymaster		2012-09-10 09:58:54 PM

They would have better luck giving free blow jobs.

HighlanderRPI		2012-09-10 09:59:12 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: I took a family portrait at JC Penney a few years back. The photos were fine.

But their company name is Kiddie Kandids. I hate getting spam from those farkers.

Sandusky thought it was a listserv

shite		2012-09-10 09:59:29 PM

i can't believe ron johnson left apple to go to that craphole. i guess he thought he could do anything in retail after the apple stores, but i think this is showing him it was more of a team effort, and not all his genius.

Indubitably		2012-09-10 09:59:52 PM

stuffy: [i.telegraph.co.uk image 300x400]
Could do worse.

Maybe?

Smeggy Smurf		2012-09-10 10:02:58 PM

LeroyBourne: If your parents get your hair cut and clothes at JC Penny you might want to consider becoming emancipated.

We shop for the kids at Hap Tallman's & D&B Supply. Carharts, Dickies, Ariats, etc. Haircuts are buzzcuts for the boys, trim the split ends for the womenfolk. Western folk have it made, even if we live in the "big city" of Boise.

moefuggenbrew		2012-09-10 10:03:40 PM

titwrench: They are going to attract a lot of minorities that are going to expect spa treatment for free. Good luck JCP.

MattyBlast		2012-09-10 10:06:52 PM

Shiat...offer me a free upper-body waxing every Tuesday in December and we'll talk.

flamingboard		2012-09-10 10:07:36 PM

JC Pennies
i.imgur.com

Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion		2012-09-10 10:13:24 PM

Thisbymaster: They would have better luck giving free blow jobs.

Are you still supposed to leave a tip when the beej is free? What's the protocol here?

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier		2012-09-10 10:14:38 PM

UsikFark: 06Wahoo: How about trying customer service? I hear customers appreciate that.

No, I don't need help finding anything. Just make sure someone is at the register, that's where I'll go if I need help... or, you know, if I want to buy something. Yes, I need help buying something in your damn store, unless you just want me to scatter some change on the counter and leave. Seems like registers pretty often go un-staffed in a variety of department stores... maybe the employees are just crowding around the security cameras?

Part of that problem is theft. Good shoplifters are tough to stop because they're good. What patrolling does is stop the idiots/teenagers (not mutually exclusive categories) from helping themselves to free samples. If you're already jumpy or impatient and looking at stuff that seems out of your price range (yes, retail people DO make judgements like that), you'll get extra attention from the super-perky sales people.

And if the sales people don't do it, they get fired; hence the registers being mostly unstaffed (because payroll is ALWAYS a priority to keep low), except during the Christmas orgy of consumerism.

So, next time you see someone who works for a corporate home office, punch them in the testicles because this is THEIR FAULT. We floor drones don't like you anymore than you like us.

Recycle Bin		2012-09-10 10:19:58 PM

JCP will try anything to get those early holiday shoppers...

UsikFark		2012-09-10 10:22:35 PM

MattyBlast: Shiat...offer me a free upper-body waxing every Tuesday in December and we'll talk.

"Upper-body waxing" is defined as above-the-navel removal of up to three square feet of visible hair or one cubic foot of loosely packed hair and attached non-detergent-soluble solids, whichever is lesser. Offer not valid on other species or Robin Williams.

Shadow Blasko		2012-09-10 10:28:22 PM

Lunaville: flax,

Are you insane?

bmihura		2012-09-10 10:29:45 PM

Why the JCP hate? I've never had a problem with them. They have provided me with pants and underwear and shirts for maybe 40 years. Yes I know I look like a dork for saying 40 years, but what works works. Unlike our current President who cannot balance a budget.

No, don't snark at me, can do double so.

lowbrowdotorg		2012-09-10 10:30:46 PM

shiate: i can't believe ron johnson left apple to go to that craphole. i guess he thought he could do anything in retail after the apple stores, but i think this is showing him it was more of a team effort, and not all his genius.

Just keep your eyes open. All of the JC Penney stores are being outfitted with iPads as a way for customers to peruse the inventory and place orders. Because everyone wants to go to the store, grab an internet appliance and place their order online, in the store.

Also, I suspect that Apple is probably giving him a nice little incentive check for every unit sold.

Nem Wan		2012-09-10 10:31:00 PM

Ron Johnson left his Apple Store mega-success behind because he wanted a challenge. He got one.

Indubitably		2012-09-10 10:31:36 PM

bmihura: Why the JCP hate? I've never had a problem with them. They have provided me with pants and underwear and shirts for maybe 40 years. Yes I know I look like a dork for saying 40 years, but what works works. Unlike our current President who cannot balance a budget.

No, don't snark at me, can do double so.

Wrong diversion, dispersion.

ski9600		2012-09-10 10:31:40 PM

There are a lot of people who don't go to "malls" and "spend money" any more. I would hate to be the guy who has to fly the stupid copter around the mall all day.

Wittenberg Dropout		2012-09-10 10:31:47 PM

I like this since the last place I used to get my haircut turned into Fantastic Sam's. I loved the place even though the chicks there could only do that "hispanic guy" haircut [read: high fade]. The scalp massages they gave bordered on lap dances.

Then the stroller brigade showed up and it was time to go.

I hope Wal-Mart emulates this trend.

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