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(CBS Sports)   Venus Williams' younger brother Serena wins U.S. Open   (cbssports.com) divider line 45
    More: Spiffy, U.S. Open, Serena Williams, Samantha Stosur, Arthur Ashe Stadium, grand slam titles, John McEnroe, rackets, Azarenka  
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462 clicks; posted to Sports » on 10 Sep 2012 at 11:27 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-10 10:20:08 AM  
Y'all are dicks.
 
2012-09-10 10:36:35 AM  
Oh Subby. Just because your mom has a penis doesn't mean all muscular women have one.
 
2012-09-10 10:51:52 AM  

desertmouse: Oh Subby. Just because your mom has a penis doesn't mean all muscular women have one.


Well there's muscular then there's photographed in the rain forest with Dian Fossey muscular.
 
2012-09-10 11:32:42 AM  
Juicer.

She hid in her freaking panic room when an official showed up for a random test late last year. There is no word on whether or not the test was ultimately carried out (so basically, it wasn't).

If this chick is clean, then so was Sammy Sosa...
 
2012-09-10 11:34:29 AM  

simsite9: Y'all are dicks.


desertmouse: Oh Subby. Just because your mom has a penis doesn't mean all muscular women have one.


Stop being enablers.

It's no secret that ITF testing is a joke.
 
2012-09-10 11:34:55 AM  
When Serena jumped up and down after winning, I felt the earth move here in Baltimore.
 
2012-09-10 11:39:07 AM  
Subby sounds like the kind of guy who gets excited when he opens his inbox and there's an email promising to enlarge his penis.
 
2012-09-10 11:42:00 AM  
Serena doesn't have a penis. It shrivelled up due to all the steroids.
 
2012-09-10 11:43:39 AM  

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Juicer.

She hid in her freaking panic room when an official showed up for a random test late last year. There is no word on whether or not the test was ultimately carried out (so basically, it wasn't).

If this chick is clean, then so was Sammy Sosa...


You're right. That's why they stripped her of her gold medal when she failed that drug test in the Olympics. Wait a minute.....

Snark aside, I'll admit that cheating athletes can find ways to beat drug tests if you admit she has passed drug tests numerous times and that article you linked to is not, by itself, indicative of cheating. 

Or we don't have to joint agree to anything and can settle this with an "Airplane" movie trivia competition.
 
2012-09-10 11:49:26 AM  
Watching yesterday and McEnroe made, what I'm assuming to be just a slip of the tongue, when he said something along the lines of "that ball there, Serena got her behind to, uhh, that ball got behind her"....

/I know, it doesn't translate well here, but it was funny as shiat at the time....
//and Lance Armstrong passed every drug test ever administered to him and cycling drug testing is supposed to be the most strenous in the world...just sayin..
 
2012-09-10 11:54:01 AM  

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Juicer.

She hid in her freaking panic room when an official showed up for a random test late last year. There is no word on whether or not the test was ultimately carried out (so basically, it wasn't).

If this chick is clean, then so was Sammy Sosa...


You do realize she probably afraid of getting busted for pot right? That is far more likely than Serena taking steroids.
 
2012-09-10 11:54:33 AM  
 
2012-09-10 12:05:48 PM  

ShamWowofDamocles: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Juicer.

She hid in her freaking panic room when an official showed up for a random test late last year. There is no word on whether or not the test was ultimately carried out (so basically, it wasn't).

If this chick is clean, then so was Sammy Sosa...

You're right. That's why they stripped her of her gold medal when she failed that drug test in the Olympics. Wait a minute.....


In-competition testing is the easiest to beat. They know exactly when it will occur, and doping is primarily carried out during training, not competition. In short, in-competition testing sounds great and is easy to administer, so it's great PR, but completely ineffective unless the athlete is a complete and utter moron.

Snark aside, I'll admit that cheating athletes can find ways to beat drug tests if you admit she has passed drug tests numerous times and that article you linked to is not, by itself, indicative of cheating.

I'll absolutely admit she passed tests, but again, ITF testing is pretty weak. And when they did finally catch her off guard, she locked herself in a closet.  Is it indicative of cheating necessarily? No. Is it suspicious as hell? I think very much so, especially given the sort of insane physical growth she has exhibited which so closely parallels that which rose suspicion in so many baseball players who were ultimately outed.

Or we don't have to joint agree to anything and can settle this with an "Airplane" movie trivia competition.

What sort of prop-driven plane did they use for the engine sound of the jet in the external plane shots?

/no, really, I'm not sure
 
2012-09-10 12:07:43 PM  

carnifex2005: You do realize she probably afraid of getting busted for pot right? That is far more likely than Serena taking steroids.


How, pray tell, is it "far more likely"?
 
2012-09-10 12:10:43 PM  

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: carnifex2005: You do realize she probably afraid of getting busted for pot right? That is far more likely than Serena taking steroids.

How, pray tell, is it "far more likely"?


Because weed makes you buff.
 
2012-09-10 12:58:59 PM  
cdn01.cdn.justjared.com

freeimagesarchive.com

ladyfreshupmag.com
 
2012-09-10 01:03:48 PM  

Trapper439: Subby sounds like the kind of guy who gets excited when he opens his inbox and there's an email promising to enlarge his penis.


Favorited!

Seriously, ppl are just mad because the Williams sisters look like they will hold any relevant record for women's tennis eventually.

And they spank all the pretty little white girls at their game.
 
2012-09-10 01:14:17 PM  

under a mountain: [cdn01.cdn.justjared.com image 300x300]

[freeimagesarchive.com image 333x500]

[ladyfreshupmag.com image 610x546]


ewww ewww ewww ewww ewww ewww
 
2012-09-10 01:27:59 PM  
Fun fact: Serena is the inspiration for the Futurama line: "Death by snu-snu".
 
2012-09-10 01:28:44 PM  

Mi-5: Trapper439: Subby sounds like the kind of guy who gets excited when he opens his inbox and there's an email promising to enlarge his penis.

Favorited!

Seriously, ppl are just mad because the Williams sisters look like they will hold any relevant record for women's tennis eventually.

And they spank all the pretty little white girls at their game.


That's what you think? She does have a manly look about her. Especially in the link provided
 
2012-09-10 01:50:30 PM  
yowza, i always thought she was older than Venus
 
2012-09-10 02:20:10 PM  

ShamWowofDamocles: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Juicer.

She hid in her freaking panic room when an official showed up for a random test late last year. There is no word on whether or not the test was ultimately carried out (so basically, it wasn't).

If this chick is clean, then so was Sammy Sosa...

You're right. That's why they stripped her of her gold medal when she failed that drug test in the Olympics. Wait a minute.....

Snark aside, I'll admit that cheating athletes can find ways to beat drug tests if you admit she has passed drug tests numerous times and that article you linked to is not, by itself, indicative of cheating. 

Or we don't have to joint agree to anything and can settle this with an "Airplane" movie trivia competition.


What line does Ted Striker say when he speaks directly to the camera?
 
2012-09-10 02:23:34 PM  

Mi-5: Trapper439: Subby sounds like the kind of guy who gets excited when he opens his inbox and there's an email promising to enlarge his penis.

Favorited!

Seriously, ppl are just mad because the Williams sisters look like they will hold any relevant record for women's tennis eventually.

And they spank all the pretty little white girls at their game.


No one is accusing Venus of steroid use here. Don't move the goalposts.
 
2012-09-10 02:24:53 PM  

Mi-5: Trapper439: Subby sounds like the kind of guy who gets excited when he opens his inbox and there's an email promising to enlarge his penis.

Favorited!

Seriously, ppl are just mad because the Williams sisters look like they will hold any relevant record for women's tennis eventually.

And they spank all the pretty little white girls at their game.


Nice way to put it.

/I'll be in my bunk
 
2012-09-10 03:04:12 PM  
That's my girl!

Hershey Highway Patrol, would say I am disappoint, but expected a gorilla/Serena reference here in Fark. Nothing if not consistent.

/haters gonna hate
 
2012-09-10 03:15:13 PM  

Mateorocks: When Serena jumped up and down after winning, I felt the earth move here in Baltimore.


You better shut up or she'll shove a tennis ball down your throat
 
2012-09-10 03:38:49 PM  

wildcat2011: Mateorocks: When Serena jumped up and down after winning, I felt the earth move here in Baltimore.

You better shut up or she'll shove a tennis ball down your throat


Clearly. Roid rage, and all.

Seriously guys, stop being so defensive. She's not going to sodomize you have perfectly normal, skull-fracture-less sex with you.
 
2012-09-10 03:47:08 PM  

Mi-5: Trapper439: Subby sounds like the kind of guy who gets excited when he opens his inbox and there's an email promising to enlarge his penis.

Favorited!

Seriously, ppl are just mad because the Williams sisters look like they will hold any relevant record for women's tennis eventually.

And they spank all the pretty little white girls at their game.


Its mainly the fact they look like men, really they should never lose with their superior testosterone.
 
2012-09-10 04:05:04 PM  

Mi-5: Seriously, ppl are just mad because the Williams sisters look like they will hold any relevant record for women's tennis eventually.



Oh look! Venus and Serena combined have won just as many Slam titles (singles) as Steffi!

Hell, even if one's just talking about American women's records, Chrissie and Martina (defected) have a pretty strong hold on many all-time records.
 
2012-09-10 04:16:32 PM  

Loomy: Mi-5: Seriously, ppl are just mad because the Williams sisters look like they will hold any relevant record for women's tennis eventually.


Oh look! Venus and Serena combined have won just as many Slam titles (singles) as Steffi!

Hell, even if one's just talking about American women's records, Chrissie and Martina (defected) have a pretty strong hold on many all-time records.


6 French, 7 Wimbledon, 5 US with 4 Australians thrown in. Serena only has one French, easy to see who the superior player is.
 
2012-09-10 04:18:08 PM  
Serena rocked that court yesterday with an amazing comeback and a damn sweet win against the "man" of tennisdom. Remember when Tiger started out, and fried chicken was bandied about?
 
2012-09-10 04:19:51 PM  
One of her thighs may be the size of my waist, but she is an incredible talent.
/USA!
 
2012-09-10 04:27:02 PM  

Frank Anthrax: I'm going to drop this in here.

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/8343811/serena-williams-conquero r


Grantland has really been putting out some well-written articles lately.

Serena is not the most graceful player. She loses her shiat sometimes. But I can't help but like someone who gets pissed, then hits three aces in a row and a blazing angle shot because fark you.
Also, she's built like an Amazon statue and it's magnificent. Haters gonna hate.
 
2012-09-10 05:24:29 PM  

Loomy: Mi-5: Seriously, ppl are just mad because the Williams sisters look like they will hold any relevant record for women's tennis eventually.


Oh look! Venus and Serena combined have won just as many Slam titles (singles) as Steffi!

Hell, even if one's just talking about American women's records, Chrissie and Martina (defected) have a pretty strong hold on many all-time records.


I'm a huge Steffi Graf fan. She's the fastest women's player I've ever seen, and her forehand was the most fearsome shot in the game for the better part of a decade. But six of her major titles came between April 1993 and September 1995. Monica Seles missed all of the major tournaments within that span. She'd been beating Graf pretty regularly before a deranged Graf fan stabbed her in the back of the shoulder, on court, during a changeover. Athletes get injured, I understand that. But Seles missed more than two years not because of something that she did on the court in the course of competition, but because of something horrific that was done to her.

Obviously, none of this is Graf's fault. It's simply naive, though, to assume that Graf's major titles total would be as high if this hadn't happened. Her "real" number, given that she was still beating Seles on grass, is probably more like 18 or 19.

I think Graf's had a better career than Serena, still. The difference between them, though, just isn't the distance between 22 and 15, and Serena's still closing the gap.
 
2012-09-10 05:32:12 PM  

Mi-5: Trapper439: Subby sounds like the kind of guy who gets excited when he opens his inbox and there's an email promising to enlarge his penis.

Favorited!

Seriously, ppl are just mad because the Williams sisters look like they will hold any relevant record for women's tennis eventually.


LOL. Venus is done, and Serena ain't catching Navratilova, let alone Graf.
 
2012-09-10 05:44:26 PM  
Whar USO
FInal Thread
whe?
\O/
|
/\
 
2012-09-10 05:55:29 PM  

missiv: Serena rocked that court yesterday with an amazing comeback and a damn sweet win against the "man" of tennisdom. Remember when Tiger started out, and fried chicken was bandied about?


One guy (Fuzzy Zoeller) making a really stupid joke doesn't quite equate to steroid accusations in a sport known for lax testing and an athlete who is displaying physical telltale signs of doping and a knack for avoiding random testing.
 
2012-09-10 08:00:12 PM  
fark, you tennis fans are testy, testy people.
 
2012-09-10 08:02:41 PM  

overheard in mayfair: Loomy: Mi-5: Seriously, ppl are just mad because the Williams sisters look like they will hold any relevant record for women's tennis eventually.


Oh look! Venus and Serena combined have won just as many Slam titles (singles) as Steffi!

Hell, even if one's just talking about American women's records, Chrissie and Martina (defected) have a pretty strong hold on many all-time records.

I'm a huge Steffi Graf fan. She's the fastest women's player I've ever seen, and her forehand was the most fearsome shot in the game for the better part of a decade. But six of her major titles came between April 1993 and September 1995. Monica Seles missed all of the major tournaments within that span. She'd been beating Graf pretty regularly before a deranged Graf fan stabbed her in the back of the shoulder, on court, during a changeover. Athletes get injured, I understand that. But Seles missed more than two years not because of something that she did on the court in the course of competition, but because of something horrific that was done to her.

Obviously, none of this is Graf's fault. It's simply naive, though, to assume that Graf's major titles total would be as high if this hadn't happened. Her "real" number, given that she was still beating Seles on grass, is probably more like 18 or 19.

I think Graf's had a better career than Serena, still. The difference between them, though, just isn't the distance between 22 and 15, and Serena's still closing the gap.


That's just stupid though since if if wasn't graf it would have been seles with even more wins. And serena has been getting her wins by longevity while most players retired by her age.
 
2012-09-10 08:25:45 PM  
Serena makes Barry Bonds look clean.
 
2012-09-10 08:46:20 PM  

steamingpile: overheard in mayfair: Loomy: Mi-5: Seriously, ppl are just mad because the Williams sisters look like they will hold any relevant record for women's tennis eventually.


Oh look! Venus and Serena combined have won just as many Slam titles (singles) as Steffi!

Hell, even if one's just talking about American women's records, Chrissie and Martina (defected) have a pretty strong hold on many all-time records.

I'm a huge Steffi Graf fan. She's the fastest women's player I've ever seen, and her forehand was the most fearsome shot in the game for the better part of a decade. But six of her major titles came between April 1993 and September 1995. Monica Seles missed all of the major tournaments within that span. She'd been beating Graf pretty regularly before a deranged Graf fan stabbed her in the back of the shoulder, on court, during a changeover. Athletes get injured, I understand that. But Seles missed more than two years not because of something that she did on the court in the course of competition, but because of something horrific that was done to her.

Obviously, none of this is Graf's fault. It's simply naive, though, to assume that Graf's major titles total would be as high if this hadn't happened. Her "real" number, given that she was still beating Seles on grass, is probably more like 18 or 19.

I think Graf's had a better career than Serena, still. The difference between them, though, just isn't the distance between 22 and 15, and Serena's still closing the gap.

That's just stupid though since if if wasn't graf it would have been seles with even more wins. And serena has been getting her wins by longevity while most players retired by her age.


Someone was arguing, solely on the basis of major titles won, that Graf was way better than Serena. I gave a reason as to why that might be flawed. I'm not seeing what's stupid about that.

Seles had nine titles. Even giving her most of the titles during her regrettable absence-which is more of a stretch ultimately than subtracting them from Graf--you can't get her up to 22 either. Again, probably more like 18 or 19, which is where Chris and Martina already are, and where Graf too likely would have settled in a less psycho-stabby-tennis-fan-infested universe. Again, it's a level that Serena is rapidly approaching. Given her age and the volatility of her career, in terms of her health and her occasionally fluctuating interest in the sport, I think the odds are against her getting there. It's not impossible, though.

If you want to argue that Serena's peak wasn't as dominant as Graf's, or even Seles's, that's a potentially compelling case. But it's a completely different argument.
 
2012-09-10 09:15:32 PM  

overheard in mayfair: Someone was arguing, solely on the basis of major titles won, that Graf was way better than Serena. I gave a reason as to why that might be flawed. I'm not seeing what's stupid about that.


I was, and it wasn't stupid at all for you to bring that up. I wasn't really old enough to remember that very well (the stabbing, yes, but not its effect on the game's elite's Slam count). The thing that always astounds me about Graf is her 1988 Golden Slam season: if that happened today, she'd be crowned queen of tennis in perpetuity by the media. Unreal level of dominance. The way Serena's played the past 2 months, I think she'd've been capable of that, had she come back from her injuries* a little sooner. She probably won't get the chance in 2016. I'm not sure she'll get to 18-19, but we'll see how much Agassi she has in her.

Speaking of tennis, how fan-farking-tastic was that 1st set tonight? I'm at 5 into the 2nd on my PVR, but that opening was awesome! What's the record for rallies of 20+ shots in a set?
 
2012-09-10 10:34:21 PM  
Really good men's final this year. Some of those rallies were absolutely punishing. I don't usually get to see the Australian, and I know that there were some marathon matches there this year, but I haven't seen a final like that in Flushing since maybe Wilander Lendl in '88. Del Potro and Federer went five in '09, but the points in that match were usually much shorter.
 
2012-09-10 11:09:14 PM  

overheard in mayfair: Really good men's final this year. Some of those rallies were absolutely punishing. I don't usually get to see the Australian, and I know that there were some marathon matches there this year, but I haven't seen a final like that in Flushing since maybe Wilander Lendl in '88. Del Potro and Federer went five in '09, but the points in that match were usually much shorter.


unreal and awesome. the Australian final might've been an hour longer but I think this may have been an even better match (and surely some of that time was due to Nadal fidgeting with his hair/water bottles/butt). for the last couple years I'd thought Federer wouldn't win another major and Murray would never get his first...guess the past two have shown what a good prognosticator I am.
 
2012-09-11 12:13:17 PM  

overheard in mayfair: Really good men's final this year. Some of those rallies were absolutely punishing. I don't usually get to see the Australian, and I know that there were some marathon matches there this year, but I haven't seen a final like that in Flushing since maybe Wilander Lendl in '88. Del Potro and Federer went five in '09, but the points in that match were usually much shorter.


That final last night was a real battle! I hope to see more like it.
 
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